Martin Lawrence Infamous Monologue That Got Him Banned From Saturday

based

>6 minutes
Can I get a tl:dr version?

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>>79041669
It was so raunchy that NBC had to cut his monolgue and replace it with pic related. Watch the clip to the end

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>>79041372
>this video is not available in your country

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>>79041808
I put in an international mirror in the OP. Jesus christ

is he high?

>>79041938
He was definitely coked up
Too fidgety

>>79041372
>lol women are cutting men's dicks
Fine
>lol white men have little peckers unlike us with our big black dingi (plural of dingus)
Fine
>lol women don't wash properly
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT HOTHEAD DOING GET HIM OUT OF THERE IMMEDIATELY

>>79042214
>criticizing women
What a barbarian, I bet he doesn't even like getting pegged.

>>79041741
>and ends by proposing several imaginative solutions

I'm curious

Is this the whole thing?

>>79042395
No, it's still cut.

>>79042394
>>79042395
Deleted parts:

Something else concerns me and it hurts, see I'm, I'm single, I'm a single man, I don't have nobody, I'm looking for somebody and- but I'm meeting a lot of women out there, and you got some beautiful women, but you got some out there that, uh, I gotta say somethin'. Um... some of you are not washing your ass properly.* (laughter & applause) OK? Don't- don't get me wrong, not all, some of you, you know what I'm sayin', uh... I'm sorry, 'Cause uh, listen, now, I don't know what it is a woman got to do to keep up the hygiene on the body I know, uh, I'm watching douche commercials on television, and I'm wonderin' if some of you are reading the instructions. I don't think so. Y'know, 'cause I'm getting with some of the ladies, smelling odors, going "Wait a minute. (gestures with index finger) Girl, smell this! This you! Smell yourself, girl."

Smell yourself! I tell a woman in a minute, douche! douche! Some women don't like when you tell them that, when you straightforward with them. "Douche!" They, (imitating woman) "Forget you! You cannot douche all the time, you're gonna wash all the natural juices out the body." I say, well, I dont give a damn what you do, put a Tic-Tac in your ass. Put a Cert in your ass. Oh, oh, y'know, this look like a good damn place for a Stick-up up in your ass.

>>79042435
I'm sorry, y'all. You got to wash properly. You know, and then, you know, 'cause I'm a man, I like to kiss on women, you know, I like to kiss all over their bodies, you know. But if you're not clean in your proper areas I can't... you know... kiss all over the places I wanna kiss. You know, some women'll let you go down, you know what I'm sayin', knowin' they got a yeast infection. (Some audience disgust) I'm sorry. Sorry. Come up with dough all on your damn lip... Got a bagel and a croissant on your lip. "Anybody got any butter?" I like jelly on mine.

Well look here, y'all, we got a great show for you tonight, cause I'm here. (Cheers and applause) That's right. I'm here, Crash- yo, yo! Crash Test Dummies are here so yo, we'll be back, hang on, we gonna be back, we gonna do our thing!

>>79041372
This nigger was actually driven crazy by fame.

Something else concerns me and it hurts, see I'm, I'm single, I'm a single man, I don't have nobody, I'm looking for somebody and- but I'm meeting a lot of women out there, and you got some beautiful women, but you got some out there that, uh, I gotta say somethin'. Um... some of you are not washing your ass properly.* (laughter & applause) OK? Don't- don't get me wrong, not all, some of you, you know what I'm sayin', uh... I'm sorry, 'Cause uh, listen, now, I don't know what it is a woman got to do to keep up the hygiene on the body I know, uh, I'm watching douche commercials on television, and I'm wonderin' if some of you are reading the instructions. I don't think so. Y'know, 'cause I'm getting with some of the ladies, smelling odors, going "Wait a minute. (gestures with index finger) Girl, smell this! This you! Smell yourself, girl."

>>79041372
>pilly packer

what the fuck

>>79041372
Ahh yes. Martin "It's not racist if I say it" Lawrence.

The only guy to be openly racist towards white people in his act, and is then lauded as "edgy" because of it.

I'd very much imagine his old 90's stand up act would be right at home in the modern white hating current year.

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The cut jokes are in his special "You So Crazy"
1:19:30 minutes in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VifxQYAFxs0

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>>79042551
The only guy? Where the fuck were you at during the 70s, 80s, and 90s?

>>79041372
>can talk about cutting dicks off
>can't talk about washing vaginas

The comic says that he understands some people being upset by his material, but doesn't think it was any stronger than what's been on the show previously. "I saw Alec Baldwin playing a camp counselor and licking a little boy's fingers. That seems worse to me than what I had to say. Let's be clear about what's in bad taste. What I said wasn't any harsher than what you'd hear on a douche commercial. But I'm not mad at NBC. I laugh and take my lumps. They made the decision they thought they had to, and I'll live with it."

>>79042551
>baby's first Black comic

>>79042214
You must realize all of that stuff was too disgusting for 90s TV. Maybe the dicks thing was just merely 'edgy' because of Bobbit but transsexualism was still pretty considered terrible back then.

>>79042701
Fuck you, Pryor was not a racist.

He was reacting to what he had to go through on a daily basis, while remaining funny. He was gar more interested in mocking stereotypes whites had against blacks.

Lawrence is an out and out black bigot. He has this illusion that he's the common man but he's not. He's just as prejudiced as the people he supposedly despises.

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>>79042897
ooh poor little white boi

Not that bad really.

>>79041372
the usual .com/v/____ solution isnt making it watchable
fuck
dont tell me they fixed my lazy ass way of getting around their restricted content bullshit

>>79041372
>martin: lots of white people here
>audience: wooo hahahahhahah

i don't mind laughing at white people, but wtf was that? why did the audience thought that was funny?

>>79045394
The old "black guy surprised by his white audience" bit was still novel at the time.

>>79042462
>Come up with dough all on your damn lip... Got a bagel and a croissant on your lip. "Anybody got any butter?" I like jelly on mine.

I want to hear the audience reaction damnit! Get me Spider Man!

>>79041372
>video is banned in my country
damn it