Can someone give me a quick rundown on this guy? I'm

>>78951186
They love the Hoff in Germany.

He was on Night Rider (80s kino) and Baywatch. Does world class singing too.

>>78951186
My mother wanted to fuck him.
My father wanted to be him.

>Rothschilds bow to the Hoff
>In contact with aliens
>Possesses psychic-like abilities
>Controls Germany with an iron but fair fist
>Owns castles & banks globally
>Direct descendant of the ancient royal blood line
>Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Hasselgrad will be be the first city)
>Own 99% of DNA editing research facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Hoff babies
>said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two angels who will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them - one is the Hoff, the other is Pam Anderson
>He owns car AI R&D labs around the world
>Your car likely has Hasselbots inside it right now
>Controls Kung Fury's car
>You must not hassle the Hoff 9000
>The the Hoff is in regular communication with the Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Orthodox Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the pope & the Orthodox high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Orthodox leader’s first trip to Antarctica in history literally a few days later to the Hasselhoff bunker in Wilkes land?
>He learned fluent German in under a week
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the Hoff. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Hasselhoff
>He is about 7 decades old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>In reality, he is a timeless being existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his ultimate plans yet. We hope he's a benevolent being.

>>78951186
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBJQKIAtLiE

>>78951836
Can't confirm. Not on his Wikipedia page.

>>78951836
>You must not hassle the Hoff 9000
lost
Kung Fury, what a kino

everything you need to know about him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdKVX45wYeQ

>>78952223
>rich family
>can buy everything he wants to, except freedom
So he's basically a male Cruella de Vil that didn't turn evil?

>>78952331
Anon, OUAT isn't canon.

Oh, Michael Knight was the coolest! He fought crime and had a car that talked. The car could even fly! His hair always had the right amount of blow-drying and hairspray so always got all the girls. What woman wouldn't want a night with a Knight? None, that's who.

>>78952223
>freedom was his endgame
How american. Live, liberdy and pursuid of burger :DDD

>>78951948
Well someone should correct that right quick.

>>78951186
That's Jimmy Smits. He's famous for his rant about America in a Dateline NBC special about Subway's meatball sandwiches.

>>78953284
this

>this thread
all me