Harry my boy, did I ever tell you about the time we hung goblins

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good thing Jk Rowling had a change of heart

>>78906462
>we just never saw them

as it should be

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Harry my boy, did I ever tell you we were in one the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following you - the boy wizard and your pals from Hogwarts Academy as you fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King. He was never a good friend.

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>>78906462
Good thing Jk Rowling knows how much every minority matters, which doesn't surprise me considering she is the genius mind behind the absolute best franchise of all time. For real each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted
villains has been so elegantly distinguishable from each other. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ prominent
consistency has been its fullness of excitement and very effective use of special effects, all to make magic
really magical, to make action seem lively.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the
series would never be mistaken for a piece of shit similar to Jurassic Park, but rather an accurate and beautiful
depiction of her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but
it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its way to create of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants
to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>and the books were good too
"Yes!"
The writing is awesome; the book was terrific. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for
a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I
had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was amazed. Rowling's mind is so broad and limitless
that she has this unprecedented style of writing. Later I read a loving, sincere review of Harry
Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry
Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right, as usual
. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>78906462
That's just fucking retarded!

>>78906462
>retconning your book because they didnt have enough gays and Jews because otherwise the rabid SJW fanbase will start to assume you just hate minorities

>>78906462
Why would there be Jews or Christians or Muslims or anything else in Harry Potter? I assumed they have their own crazy wizard Gods

>>78906462
they were at gringotts

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>>78906769
What exactly is the problem with that? You didn't write the books

I thought you put them in ovens.

Zimbabwe

>>78906985
its fake thats why

shes just scared of the repercussions of not saying that shit

>>78906542
Kill yourself. I can't believe that autist cared this much about ya fiction.

>>78906603
This is good for a few laughs, but the formatting is fucking shite and you should change the "stretched his legs" part because it doesn't make sense in context.

>>78906542
>>78906603
do people really have nothing better to do than post this on EVERY thread that even mentions harry potter? for not liking it you sure do seem to obsess over it

>>78908529
what did she mean by this?

>>78906985
There's actually plenty of strong gay and jewish characters in Der Untergang, you just doesn't see them

>>78906442
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLfFK_C-9HY

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>>78908529

>>78906462
"No!"

>>78906542
>As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

>>78908529
???
Did someone adapt the copypasta from something else? or is the original pasta maker just a lying idiot?.. or both...

>>78908529
it always bothered me how when harry got into a confrontation with malfoy or whoever he always "replied cooly"

>>78910591
Harold Bloom, the guy who reviewed Harry Potter was wrong when he mentioned how "stretch his legs" appears dozens of times in the book. It's actually "stretch or outstretch his/her hand" that appears dozens of times.
Jk is a hack either way.

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>>78906442
did you say goblins?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kAEoCHANYY

>>78910672
Go back to /lit/ thats .003 percent of the 1 million plus words for two similar phrases.

>>78910672
You should see how often the word "the" appears.
She's a total hack. I don't know why little kids like her dumb book about kid wizards and magic and shit. They're such plebs.

>>78906462
Jk confirmed that dumbledore was gay

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>>78910806
/lit/ is much more welcome on /tv/ than you /co/ posters.

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Why didn't they suspend Harry for using lumos in his bedroom?

>>78910928
because the people who made the movies were fucking retarded

he used a flashlight in the books.

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why didn't voldemort just make sure harry was dead when he killed his parents?

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Why didn't they just use time travel to go back in time and kill Tom Riddle when he was a baby?

>>78911061
>>78911253

Both of these things are explained. Why don't you pay attention?

>>78908529
Edited or faked to perpetuate the DULLEST meme

>>78911296
no it wasn't, rowling shot herself in the foot with the time traveling gimmick

>>78911399
You can ignore the logic given in the source material so you can pretend you're smart for making up your own plot hole if you want.
You can also masturbate in a mask in public and pretend all the girls think it's hot if you want.
It's your life, anon. No one is forcing you to live in objective reality as long as you stay anonymous.

>>78911594
Time travel won't work because you can't actually change the present/future, your timetravel already happened
Voldemort sorta died when he tried to kill baby Potter, so couldn't check Potter was dead
Or that's what I remember, so correct me if I'm wrong.

Anyway, what does irk me is: what about the invisible death dragon horse things? How come Harry couldn't see them at first despite having seen his parents die?

>>78906542
"No!"
Gets me every time

>>78912239
Then you should probably kill yourself

>>78912137
Because he always memed his way to school

>>78910879
Nice ad hominem and shitty image. You're not white, you don't belong here.