RONALD WEASLEY HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I AM ABSOLUTELY

howling

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>>78866917
>ywn be a wizard

fuk

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>>78866966
>he didn't get his Hogwart's letter
lmao

>>78866917
Fucking hell, are wizards total retards, have none of them ever heard of email?

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>Deh!

What did Tom Riddle Jr. mean by this?

>>78867012
>email
>capable of being sent to the wizard realm

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>>78866975
i-it's probably just 12 years late

I wish my dad would have done this instead of beating me up at lunch for all to see.........

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>>78867100
I'm sure they have the perfect role for you!

>>78867133
Or knew that you'd end up here because of that.

>>78867137
i honestly don't know if i could live as a squib

i'm sure there's still magical objects i could use but damn

>>78867948
Must be depressing being around all these magical and wondrous creatures, environments etc. and being unable to truly interact with any of it

>tfw Aunt Petunia wrote Dumbledore a letter as a young girl begging to be let into Hogwarts

>>78866917
What would happen if you took that letter and shoved it onto your dick?

>>78868540
It would tear it off after berating you

mom is that pasta almost ready

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>>78866917
OP

HOW DARE YOU MAKE A THREAD ON ONE OF THE DULLEST FRANCHISES IN THE HISTORY OF MOVIE FRANCHISES. SERIOUSLY EACH EPISODE FOLLOWING THE BOY WIZARD AND HIS PALS FROM HOGWARTS ACADEMY AS THEY FIGHT ASSORTED VILLAINS HAS BEEN INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE OTHERS. ASIDE FROM THE GLOOMY IMAGERY, THE SERIES’ ONLY CONSISTENCY HAS BEEN ITS LACK OF EXCITEMENT AND INEFFECTIVE USE OF SPECIAL EFFECTS, ALL TO MAKE MAGIC UNMAGICAL, TO MAKE ACTION SEEM INERT.

PERHAPS THE DIE WAS CAST WHEN ROWLING VETOED THE IDEA OF SPIELBERG DIRECTING THE SERIES; SHE MADE SURE THE SERIES WOULD NEVER BE MISTAKEN FOR A WORK OF ART THAT MEANT ANYTHING TO ANYBODY?JUST RIDICULOUSLY PROFITABLE CROSS-PROMOTION FOR HER BOOKS. THE HARRY POTTER SERIES MIGHT BE ANTI-CHRISTIAN (OR NOT), BUT IT’S CERTAINLY THE ANTI-JAMES BOND SERIES IN ITS REFUSAL OF WONDER, BEAUTY AND EXCITEMENT. NO ONE WANTS TO FACE THAT FACT. NOW, THANKFULLY, THEY NO LONGER HAVE TO.

>A-AT LEAST THE BOOKS WERE GOOD THOUGH
"NO!"
THE WRITING IS DREADFUL; THE BOOK WAS TERRIBLE. AS I READ, I NOTICED THAT EVERY TIME A CHARACTER WENT FOR A WALK, THE AUTHOR WROTE INSTEAD THAT THE CHARACTER "STRETCHED HIS LEGS."

I BEGAN MARKING ON THE BACK OF AN ENVELOPE EVERY TIME THAT PHRASE WAS REPEATED. I STOPPED ONLY AFTER I HAD MARKED THE ENVELOPE SEVERAL DOZEN TIMES. I WAS INCREDULOUS. ROWLING'S MIND IS SO GOVERNED BY CLICHES AND DEAD METAPHORS THAT SHE HAS NO OTHER STYLE OF WRITING. LATER I READ A LAVISH, LOVING REVIEW OF HARRY POTTER BY THE SAME STEPHEN KING. HE WROTE SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF, "IF THESE KIDS ARE READING HARRY POTTER AT 11 OR 12, THEN WHEN THEY GET OLDER THEY WILL GO ON TO READ STEPHEN KING." AND HE WAS QUITE RIGHT. HE WAS NOT BEING IRONIC. WHEN YOU READ "HARRY POTTER" YOU ARE, IN FACT, TRAINED TO READ STEPHEN KING.

>>78866917
>all that effort put into creating literal toys
Are wizards the biggest manchildren?

>>78868621
Good job, I kekd

>>78868626
Probably 80% of the Wizarding world consists of things that give no practical advantage other than looking cool. So yes, definitely.

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>>78867041
https://youtu.be/hw6GwhfNl7U
Lmao @0:48

Even this sort of emphasises how this scene is part of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his plas from Hwagorts Acacacamy as they fungle assorted vimboss been indistingledingleable from the oooother. Aside from the gloop gleep memery, teh series’ only cocky has chungo its lel of excise and feftive use of special efforts?all to make mama unmam, to mak ass sees nert.

Pep the die die die was cast when Rawrling ve-toed the idea of Speelboirg dicktating the sesh; she mad suus the sereeee wouluod nev be tekken for a wol of fart that memnt anyting to anyboy? JUST ridickululsy pomfitable cross-cumotion fof her boobs. The Harrah Pott sis might be anti-Chritstain (or non), bubut it’s certunl the antee-Jajes Bonb series in is refusas of wonow, beauaeb and excungle. Noon wants to fas tat fuck. Now, dankeful, they non lunger have toot.

>But at least the books are ggood though!
The wriirw is dead; the boob was terrrrr. As I rad, I knotted that evey tim a chacktre went for a wallk, the auteur rot insteag that teh chuckter "stretched his legs."

I beeb markinj on the bak of an cuckvelope ery toim that frasier was repeed. I spop onlel affr I had memed the envelol ses dozen tims. I was increducred. RoR's mim is sos govd by cleesh and ded memtapwhores that *she has nno ogre stiles of written. Lates I readded a lavash, loving jewview of Hap Tter by the sase Steet Keet. He rwote sosthink to the ecksdee of, "If ye kinks are raping Harrald Pottrada at 1e1 or 1w2, then wen thy GET oldor tey williw gog ono tot readear Pesten Nigk." And heh was quitting right. He was noton beep ronc. Wen youuuuu rea[ "Hayray Popper" you aren't, in fact, training to rape Stephen King

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>>78868621
10/10

>>78867012
it's set in the 90s, desu probably very few of them had and neither had a lot of the general public