Who is the new Authority On Movies Now That He Is Gone?

>hated home alone 1 and 2
>loved 3

cinemaSins *bing

Armond White obviously

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>liked Home Alone 3 more than 1 and 2
>liked The Phantom Menace

reminder that all of Ebert's opinions are invalid and trashed.

>>77478068
came here to post this

>>77478068
He liked:

>Grown Ups
>Jonah Hex
>G.I. Joe
>G.I. Joe 2
>Battle: Los Angeles
>The Green Hornet
>Clash of the Titans
>Indiana Jones 4
>Transformers 2
>Death Race
>Fantastic Four: Rise of Silver Surfer
>I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
>Takers
>Taken
>Transporter 3
>Resident Evil: Afterlife
>Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

He disliked:
>The Tree of Life
>There Will Be Blood
>Black Swan
>The Social Network
>Tangled
>The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
>The Road
>The King's Speech
>Synecdoche, New York
>Transformers
>Toy Story 3
>Eastern Promises
>Stardust
>The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
>Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives
>Tales from the Golden Age
>Let Me In
>All Marvel movies
>The Dark Knight
>Mother
>The Hurt Locker
>Blue Valentine
>Up
>Hellboy 2

He also compared Hannah to Kick-Ass because they both have a young female character, thinks I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry is a modern classic, thinks Live Free or Die Hard is the best Die Hard, compared The Road to Resident Evil, thinks Clash of the Titans is better than the LOTR Trilogy, prefers Transformers 2 to Transformers, and thinks CJ7 is deeper and more profound than There Will Be Blood.

>>77478103
>>77478054

Maybe he just has shit opinions on kids movies?

>>77478137
Are you implying that somehow transformers 1 and all marvel/modern capeshit movies aren't shit?

I don't know who that nigga is but transformers 1 isn't good

>>77478103
Home Alone 3 sucked ass

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Ebert was a hack.

>>77478202
It's not about what he disliked, it's about what he liked in comparison.

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>>77478018

Childhood is idolizing Ebert. Adulthood is realizing Siskel made more sense.

>>77478137
>He disliked
>Synecdoche, New York

Are you retarded? He rated it 4/4 and named it one of the greatest films of the decade.

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>autists are still booty blasted because he didn't like one of their favorite shitty movies

>movies Ebert gave 4/4 stars:
Knowing
Prometheus
Avatar
Crash (2004)

>movies Ebert gave 3.5/4 stars:
Cars 2
Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
The Matrix Reloaded
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Anonymous
The Karate Kid (2010)
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Paranormal Activity
2012
Brüno
Junior (1994)
The Amazing Spider-Man

>movies Ebert gave 3/4 stars:
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Transformers
The Matrix Revolutions
Ghosts of Mars
Deep Blue Sea
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
The Santa Clause 2
Garfield: The Movie
Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties
Jennifer's Body
The Omen (2006)
Straw Dogs (2011)

>movies Ebert gave 2.5/4 stars:
The Omen (1976)
The Thing (1982)
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Wild at Heart
Naked Lunch
Rushmore
Reservoir Dogs
Grindhouse
Caddyshack
Spider-Man

>movies Ebert gave 2/4 stars:
Straw Dogs (1971)
Die Hard
A Clockwork Orange
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Big Trouble in Little China
Prince of Darkness
The Fog
Starship Troopers
Basic Instinct
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Lost Highway
Brazil
The Fisher King
Fight Club
Bottle Rocket
Papillon

>movies Ebert gave 1.5/4 stars:
Day of the Dead (1985)
A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
The Usual Suspects
Dead Man

>movies Ebert gave 1/4 stars:
Blue Velvet
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
The Frighteners
Scrooged
The Raid: Redemption

>movies Ebert gave .5/4 stars:
Hellraiser

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>>77478409
which movie made you triggered my lad

>>77478137

is it easy to be a movie critic?

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>>77478409
>>>>>>>>Diary of a Whimpy Kid

>>77478137
hahahahahah

>>77478018
Was just a dude. Liked a lot of shit. Hated some classics. Made authoritative statements about video-games while only ever completing one game ever like 24 years ago at time of writing. Overall kind of a dick.

>>77478018
look at his smug face

i hate him

rip though

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>>77478018

>>77478137
bullshit list. he was dead waaay before Batman V Superman.

>>77480055
list was about Armond White who is unfortunately still alive.

nice dubs, checked.

>>77478409
Ebert also liked some /tv/ approved directors that the mainstream hated like Walter Hill.

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Only right answer

>>77478054
3 is kino though

>The Usual Suspects was one of his most hated films
I'm glad he's dead

>>77480669
Kermode is great

>>77480776
what on earth did he hate about it?

>>77480871
It was too confusing for him
Seriously

>>77480789
Yeah because he's an actual legit critic, and not just some hack youtube movie reviewer like the RLM chodes

>>77480922
>muh proper media
Not to defend any memers but using "actual legit" as a synonym for "employed by a newspaper" is retarded

>>77478018
Me.

>>77481030
Never said anything about "proper media"
These are some very bold assumptions that you're making lad
Just saying that it feels as if kermode really is a genuine film critic, whereas mike and jay are just meme movie reviewing failed filmmakers
Sorry but its the truth.

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>>77481713
>meme movies

>>77478018
>new
Ummm, its been quite some time friend

>liked exceedingly-violent schlock movies
>hated Blue Velvet because his waifu was abused

>>77481030
>Being this autistic and Having mike & jay's cocks rammed this far down your throat
Ahahaha fucking faggot, go jerk off to the plinkett reviews

>>77481713
Define "genuine critic". Like, is there a critic school that you have to attend or something? Literally the only thing you need to be a critic is to be eloquent.

>>77481918
>missing the point this hard
Also, projecting much?
>>77481713
You're missing the argument. If your only qualifiers for 'actual legit' are that 'it feels as if' someone is legitimate, that's not even a tautology, it's just conjecture.

>>77478322
>In Synecdoche, Kaufman has been afforded a privilege he doesn’t deserve; his unimaginative imagery never comes close to the magnificence that visionary director John Moore creates in the turbulent tableaux of Max Payne

-- Armond White, New York Press

>>77478409
>tfw I agree with Prometheus

>>77482730
>loving Prometheus
mah nigga

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>>77478018

Fuck Roger Ebert, form your own opinions you no=confidence-having beta cuck faggot

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>>77478018
it ended long before he died

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkwVz_jK3gA

>>77478018
For better or worse, Internet Critics are seen as the authority on movies. I'm going to saw RLM because they are way more articulate than the others. Channel Awesome is slowly crumbling away.

anyone who doesn't like ebert is either:

a. butthurt he thought vidya wasn't art
b. butthurt he talked shit on that drunk driving asshole from jackass

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>hated bladerunner

>>77484230
no he didn't

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>>77484259
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euq7gvzQXJk

>>77484259
He did, he only changed his mind later when everyone else said it was good. Look at his first review

>>77484306
>3/4 stars is hating a film

>>77484259
Ebert had a handful of movies he didn't like that got popular so he "revised" his opinion of them.

To be fair the theatrical version of blade runner with the narration is pretty dogshit.

>>77478409
He was the only critic willing to give Birth a chance desu. Just for that his a decent critic to me.

>>77478103
>Loved The Black Cauldron
>mindlessly sucked the GITS cock
>hated the original 1954 Godzilla and didn't even bothered to watch the rest
>shat all over Blade Runner

More?

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>>77484346
>ebert """"""""""""hated"""""""""""" bladerunner

>>77484430
>hated the original 1954 Godzilla
He also didn't pay attention to the movie and thought someone's fiancé was their dad despite them looking the exact same age and her dad being in the movie already

>>77484452
There's only on (you) for me in this thread fampai. I never said he hated it.
Notably he also started sucking off Leone after he was defied.

>>77478409
Do you honestly think gear and loathing inst shit?

>stupid chink poster comes to thread, posts wrong info and disproves himself and leaves

perfect

>>77478018
http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/slipstream-2007

>>77484290
anyone see Diner? this video makes me want to check it out.

he's reddit

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/ourguy/

>>77481931
Having reasoned, well thought out opinions on cinema. Having a deep knowledge of past cinema and cinematic history. Maybe, I don't know, writing books about cinema, or lecturing at a university. Both of which Kermode does.

>>77480669
Yep. This is still my favourite ever video review, even the Plinkett videos can't top it

https://youtu.be/xlV6QjfzGi4

>>77478018
it was never authoritative, just popular

i can't think of anyone as popular as he was.

Me
My opinion is the best, all the other faggots can go die because I am the best

RLM of course :^)

>>77486499
What's your favourite movie, cinéma, kino and flick?

>>77487063
Irrelevant
I like my opinion the most and it's the best.

How did he feel about Jaws?

>>77488122
You're a fucking hack

>>77488295
More like I'm a hacker!!!!!
Hahahahahah lololol
Roflmaooo

>>77478137
he liked tree of life

stop making shit up

>>77478137
I think this comment is a joke because almost everything in it is a complete lie.

>>77478137
wait I thought this comment was about Ebert. Im an idiot

>>77478409
considering he reviewed literally thousands of films, this isn't that big of a deal. The only ones I disagree with are all the ones he gave 3.5 because they all deserve a 2. and then Dead Man and Blue Velvet deserve 4s.

>>77484430
>mindlessly sucked the GITS cock

GitS is good tho.

>>77489673
It's good but it feels contradictory considering everything else

>>77478018

There are none. All print critics are just SJW bloggers.

Some of them have a crude understanding of film making but often aren't interesting writers.

Youtubers are better in most ways, but even then, they aren't proper reviewers (I mean they exist, but they're shit), they're usually focused on niche things and film theory etc.

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>>77478409

You didn't include his zero star reviews.

Holy shit, did he get triggered easily.

See if you can guess the film.

>>77478018
>Roger Ebert
>an authority on anything but using his jawless face to fellate Hollywood Jews

I'd much prefer to get my criticism from a literal nigger faggot

>>77478322
>>77482730
Synecdouche is a piece of shit

>>77478409
>Straw Dogs remake better than the original

what a faggot

>>77489851
Wow poor silent night deadly night

>yesterday
>my boy comes round
>'bro 101 dalmations 2: patch's london adventure' is actually really good! download it and let's watch lad'
>got a real bad feel about this, isn't it a disney sequel?
>'no bro it's because it's a disney sequel that it's actually really overlooked because it's good and it's funny and let's watch it'
>download and watch it
>it's the most standard, direct to dvd, predictable plot imaginable with absolutely nothing special to note whatsoever
>'sorry bro the nostalgia critic said it was good, sorry'

well I've heard about the nostalgia critic before and that was my first exposure to his taste. I always see people discussing him on here, and I can safely say he shouldn't be elected as a new authority

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>>77478137
Sounds like your typical /tv/tard to me. The only difference is he got paid to shitpost while we're all sitting here in our Hanes wasting our lives away.

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>>77490026

No. Sorry.

Here's another.

>>77478254
A scene like this could work if it involved props, a real actor, and stunts for the actor to perform.

>>77490136

kick-ass, he detested it for the violence against the little girl most of all as I recall

>>77490136
Does this nigger ever talk about the political or cultural significance of film beyond the most obvious shit that even I could detect.

That's Friday the 13th pretty sure

Before Ebert died he said he'd want PSH to play him if such a movie was ever made

>>77490196
Nah dude, look at the date he wrote the review

>>77478068
>Armond
This

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>>77490136

Fun fact - The writer of this film later went on to become a mentally ill murderer irl.

>>77490245

oh yeah, I didn't notice. I'm not good at remembering which movies came out before the 90's I don't know, probably was a slasher

>>77490196

No. Check the date.

>>77490212

No, but I believe he shared a pretty similar opinion on Friday The 13th Part 2 (I don't recall a Part 1 review, but he sure fucking hated Slasher movies).

>>77490062
The guy shat on the Super Mario Bros. Movie because he misunderstood that Mario was Luigi's father or something, guy's not exactly a sound human being.

>>77490136
This one might be The Exterminator

>>77490274
The Hitcher?

>>77490308
Nostalgia Critic is a reviewer in the same way that Jon Oliver is a journalist.

More specifically, they both peddle their own ill thought opinions as if it's gospel but if they turn out to make a mistake then, hey, they're a comedian. Lighten up.

NC is also painfully unfunny, but that could take up its own thread.

I feel as though everyone is this thread is slowly finding out that critics are just people like us and have inconsistent taste

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>>77490274

Here is a review of a different film, starring the same actress as above.

It seems Roger Ebert was very protective of her.

He gave this film, regarded as a classic, a one star review.

>>77490308

whenever I watch the super mario bros movie, I just completely remove from my mind the fact that it's supposed to be an adaptation of super mario bros, and I enjoy it. it's just an odd dystopian but child friendly movie with bob hoskins and dennis hopper in it, some fun puppets and weird CGI. even now I can recall the zany music that plays whenever mario and luigi are driving too

>>77490330

Yep. The Exterminator.

>>77490380

Yep. The Hitcher.

That makes this one >>77490465 a bit too easy.

>>77490305
What movie was it senpai

>>77478018
He was never the "authority". He was just a douche with a gimmick. There is literally nothing America loves more than a gimmick

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>>77490465

>Whatever happened to scenes where kids have joyous sex?

isn't it bad enough that he goes to the movies in the hopes of watching kids have sex at all? does it matter how the kids do it at that point?

>>77490469
I ''fell in love'' with this film when I first watched years ago and I'm really glad that it's growing on people now, feels like a new chapter in life or something.

With that said, I love the soundtrack for the movie, Alan Silvestri's a God. I honestly don't know what I was doing when I did a fan-edit of the movie that removed the music in most scenes

Half in the Bag

>>77490465
Fast Times

>>77490553
GET UP IN THAT ASS LARRY

Greatest film reviewer of all time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeQOJZ-QzBk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxyPQ4_Xeqc

>>77490544

you must be the same anon who once linked me to a fan edit when we were just discussing the movie here on 4chan a year or two ago, I don't know what you were thinking either.

>>77490590

Yep.

>>77490616

Yep.

>>77490643
It's a small world, but hey, at least I can't feel bad about that because there is this other more popular SMB Movie fan-edit that adds sound effects and music from the games, cuts out a few gags and calls it a day. MY edit was much more complex, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

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Ebert actually and the reviewer from AICN actually got in an internet fight with the director of this film.

I've never found the DVD or seen the legendary behind the scenes, but apparently the director was on the same level as Mark Borchardt/Tommy Wisseau.

>>77490818
lol Wolf Creek

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>>77478103
Phantom Menace is kíno though, but RedditMediapleb can never understand, Star Wars flew above their heads. No wonder they liked Force Awakens and hated Rogue One.

>>77490875
Oh I guess not

>>77490958
Does Phantom Menace transcended bad filmmaking and achieved kino status?

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>the only right answer

>>77490958
Why do you guys ignore poor storytelling and only focus on visuals when referring to "kino'

>>77485046
Diner is great. comfy af

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>>77491082
Ebert gave Phantom Menace 3.5 stars because he said imagine if that was the first Star Wars movie ever made and the OT didn't exist. Would the world be as excited as they were when the original '77 A New Hope came out? Ebert thought yes. I thought it would get a good reaction (for the lightsaber duel with Maul alone, seeing sabers for the first time), but overall, not too much excitement generate it will. I still would give it barely 3 stars though out of 4.

>>77491252
It is a visual art so... if you want a good script then read a book anon. If your movie only has a "good plot" your fucked bud

>>77491333
I personally believe Phantom Menace would have gotten people excited for Star Wars without knowing about the OT, I know I have, but then I was a dumb kid when it came out so who knows, I still remember seeing the first Star Wars for the first time and being scared by it

>>77491341
>implying movies are only considered good based on visuals
dont be reductive anon, there are many factors to consider for something to be truly great

>>77491252
Because it's Star Wars movie?

Angry Joe

Based A.O. Scott

>>77478018
Kermode

Non meme answer is a. o. scott.

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Based Brody, of course.

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>>77478137
>he liked
>Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice


kek in capitals

>>77491333
He didn't think much of the OT and defended it based on audience appeal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky9-eIlHzAE

>>77478018
Most plebeian critic ever.
Red Letter Media ante litteram.

>>77478322
He's talking about Armond "Kang of the white man" White, mongo

>>77478018
whoever's popular on /tv/ right now, presumably

>>77478254
The modern Buster Keaton.

>>77478409

Knowing isn't as bad as you're making it out to be. Proyas is a real slept on auteur

The prequels are incredibly fascinating failures

The 2010 Karate Kid gets unwarranted hate and has some great slapstick fight involving Jackie Chan

While I think Transformers 2 is one of the worst movies ever made, Transformers 1 is just a run of the mill blockbuster that has one legitimately great scene (Bumblebee speaking through the radio)

I love Carpenter but Big Trouble is legitimately bad

He didn't like Fight Club for moral reasons

Blue Velvet is massively overrated. It reads like a beginner's sketch and is dwarfed by Lynch's masterpiece Mulholland Dr (which Ebert loved)

Dead Man is great but it has a pacing problem

Plus this list isn't fair because Ebert uses a relative rating scale, Paul Blart isn't a 3 in relation to the Godfather, it's a 3 in comparison to other comedies for children.

Taking this all in to consideration, did he make some mistakes on this list? Yeah, but he's allowed to get some wrong

>>77491333
I thought Phantom Menace was great as a little kid, for the record.

>>77491252
>What is Tarkovsky

>>77478018

A.O. Scott or David Denby

I would say David Bordwell as well but he's more of an academic

I really like Jonathan Rosenbaum personally but he likes too go off into bloviating digressions on Marxism a bit too much