>British Museum (free) >National Gallery (free) >Tower

The Science Museum is free and has stuff from the industrial revolution. The V&A is pretty cool, also free. Greenwich observatory if you're into time and shit (used to be free, I think it now charges). Borough Market for food.
Not sure Parliament is free unless you're below a certain age and prebook or an MP or peer gets you in.

>>1257271
I got invited in when I was a kid by a peer that has now been arrested for historic sex abuse charges

>>1257289
So was your trip free...?

>>1257271
Thanks, I suppose I would pay if it's worthwhile but otherwise I would not be interested.

It seems it's free to visit for at least a view of parliament in session but I'm not sure if there's anything else.

TATE Modern

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>>1257265
>Wallace collection (free)
>Eyes only mudlarking on the Thames Foreshore the best place to go for a newbie is opposite the globe (free but check the tide times)
>head to Canterbury on HS1 (not free)
>Kew Gardens (Not free)
>British Library (Free)
>Walk down the Mall (free pic related)
>Go to a football match
(not free season starts at the 12th of August)

find affordable housing

>>1257327
he paid a heavy price, but no money

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>>1257265

Westminster Abby.

Right next to Parliament and has a shit ton of awesome stuff in it, like the actual coronation throne, the graves or memorials of many of our most famous authors and poets and kings and queens (including Elizabeth I, pic related).

>>1257289
>>1257327
I wish a celebrity molested me as a kid. I'd have an excuse for my spaghetti-dropping sexual dysfunction as well as cashing in from the lawsuit.

OP seems interested in history, so if he has time, Hampton Court Palace is a good day trip; it was Henry VIII main palace.

>>1257402
And it's free if you attend a service there. You also don't need to spend hours waiting in line,

>>1257265
>>Emirates Air Line
Skip that.

>>1257271
>Borough Market for food.
There are a lot of great markets, and you can find some of the better traditional and craft foods from within, so do go! Borough is the oldest, and right near your Tower and bridge day.
http://www.visitlondon.com/things-to-do/shopping/market/food-market#HV5J1M8tLeumfOpV.97

I second the abbey as worth it. As a child there wasn't even a rope to the coronation chair (there is now), and my brother and I sat on the throne when it still had the Stone of Scone under it (returned to Scotland in '96). You'll walk all over graves of known authors and historical figures by the dozens. It's like a history of your mental history to recognize as many as possible. Download an app.
Westminster Palace has some cool documents and architectural wonders (and not on your list?!)

While near Trafalgar Square, you might make a cool souvenir brass rubbing.
http://www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org/visiting/brass-rubbing/

>>1257429

It has one of the best choirs in the world too, even if you're not religious or are Catholic it is worth going to a service just for that. (you will be expected to make a donation, but you don't have to).

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>>1257265

>The Museum of London (free) really good museum near to...
>St Paul's Cathedral

If you can afford it:
>London Eye (do this instead of the air line as the view is better and it is just across the bridge from the houses of parliament and Westminster abbey)
>London Dungeon (right by the London Eye, fun way to learn about london's gorier past, if you like history this will be one of your favourite attractions)

Others:
>Sherlock Holmes museum (small museum a few doors down from 221 Baker st, if you like Sherlock Holmes it's worth it otherwise no)
>Maddame Tusaudes (pricey but just round the corner from the sherlock holmes museum. if you like celebs you'll love it, otherwise no)
>Harry Potter Studios (outside of the central part of London but worth it if you like harry potter, otherwise no. Also if you like harry potter and are passing through kings cross station make a slight detour to platform 9 to have your photo taken by pic related, there's also a nice harry potter shop there. Also if you like Paddington Bear there are similar Paddington things at Paddington station).

>>1257349

Westminster Hall is free, as is the central lobby and watching the speaker's procession.

>>1257265
Go for a nice long walk at Hampstead Heath or Richmond Park.

>>1257448
>London Dungeon
That's a pretty shit place tbf

Walking along the canal is great. Sometimes you don't even seem in a city.

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>>1257448
Worst advice ever

>>1257493
>>1257597

I disagree and also offer no justification for my statement.

>>1257626
>Museum of London
>St Paul's Cathedral
Those are fine
>Everything else
Overpriced, tourist traps, and retarded...maybe on the London Eye could be worthwhile with one of those 2 for 1 tickets.

>>1257629

If someone went on holiday to Orlando, Florida, USA would your advice be "avoid theme parks, they're tourist traps."

>>1257641
There's basically nothing else to do in Orlando.

If you go to London and see all that touristy crap, it's fine if you have a good time, but it's still basic bitch stuff.
Moreover, the city has a long history with all sorts of events, landmarks, world class museums and palaces. For someone to go to Madame Tussauds seems like a waste of time...especially considering all the great and free attractions.

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>>1257655

The point I made though was that, if you're really into your celebs you'll like Madame Tussauds, if you're not don't bother. This is why you should read posts before commenting on them.

Yes there are tons of free things in London, but sometimes you should pony up for the touresty thing if it is something that interests you. For example, in Venice you can go to the top of the bell tower in st Marks square for a fee to see a nice view of the city. Very nice and historic, the bell tower dates to 1514... Except it doesn't it was rebuilt in 1912 after collapsing to rubble (see pic). Some people would define that as a tourist trap and as a mere reconstruction, not that historic. But going up there and seeing the view and even seeing the faithfully reconstructed tower from the outside is certainly something that should be done in every trip to Venice in my opinion.

Having been to the London Dungeons on a number of occasions in both its old and new locations I really do recommend it. You learn a lot about historic London that you often wouldn't just pick up on the street and you will appreciate several historic landmarks more when you know their story.

Going either Portobello Road market or Camden market can be fun. Just be ready to see druggos everywhere

if u're a don go pick up a benz from a group of malis and don't get shanked

go to tottenham and shout COME ON YOU GOONERS!!! to interact with local football fans

go to a drum n bass/garage rave in vauxhall and do some gear/beans in a piss-covered toilet, avoid the batty boys and any roadman u see in the endz

go to old street and count crackheads (avoid malis)

go to london bridge and get diversified

>>1257265
where do i find a girl like this?

>>1258837
She is from Latvia but lives in Ukraine

go lsq empire and sit me at 2/5

>>1258842
My two fantasy destinations. Why am I not surprised.

Lads, how do I find a good chip shop?

>>1257265


I went to London about 3 months ago, my first time. I did pretty much everything on your list (low on money, did the free stuff).

One thing that I highly recommend is Camden Town. The place is awesome, and worth a visit (it's also free).

Another free place to go is Brixton, the shit part of London. It's good to see the contrast between the mighty Westminster area and the latin-african borough.

>>1259119

Go on the train to Plymouth or Falmouth.

If you decided on Plymouth head for the Barbican and follow the signs to the National Marine Aquarium and the Fish Market. Right next to the aquarium you'll see a place called Rockfish. It sells fish landed that day from the fish market next door and has nice chips and lovely crisp batter.

If you went to Falmouth head to their maritime museum and practically next door there is a takaway run by Rick Stien who is a chef famous for knowing his shit about fish.

If you don't fancy travelling that far and want to get pissed up as well, then have a night out in Cardiff followed by a visit to Chip Ally (aka Caroline St) the most famous street for getting fish and chips in the world. Get yourself as many Clark's pies as you can carry while you're there too, you'll thank me later.

>>1257265
>attend christian mass in one or two cathedrals
>roam London at night, especially around White Chapel
>walk into a pub during some rugby or tennis game and have some banter with the lads
I once straight up walked into a pub and asked them why they let muslims establish sharia no go zones in London.

>>1259234
>Camden Town
definitely this, especially at night. Nice and diverse pubs, at least 10 weirdos in sight at any given time, cool buildings