Anons, how did you get your wife to give your solo travel plans

Just say its for work

If you have a wife you should travel with her.

why aren't you traveling with her?

Has she objected to your travel plan, or are you just afraid to bring it up? Are you trustworthy? Do you travel with her? Why are you looking t leave her out of your plans? Would you be Ok if she traveled without you?

Not married, but I did warn the gf prior to traveling that I am a independent person and I traveled alone before I met her, and would expect times where I could do it thereafter otherwise we would have a problem. Went to Colombia couple months back and would have prob taken her had she could afford it.

I'd try and work it out, but honestly no person is going to prevent me from doing what I want to do as an adult.

>>1226357
I didn't ask. She's asked me, but I've told her that's fucked up and I want to go as well. You're already married to her, why not go together?

you get to do some and she gets to do some. generally i go on a few 2-4 day backpacking/climbing trips to the sierra each year, and she goes on one larger trip. last year to hawaii, this year she's going to the philippines with her sister.

but we do most of our traveling together, and wouldn't want to be separated for several weeks at a time
>inb4 "after a few years you'll want your space"
we've been together for 14 years, sooo...

>>1226426
You guys must be doing something right. We're going on 6 years and don't feel like we want time apart. Now expecting our first little travelling companion.

Any sage advice for reaching 14 happily married years? And your travelling advice?

>>1226435
>Now expecting our first little travelling companion.
congrats. ours just turned 2, we took him to japan a couple months ago.

my advice is always remember you're on a team together. and for what's coming, be ready for the highest highs and the lowest lows, just keep everything in perspective, and never give into complacency.

>>1226424
>Went to Colombia couple months back

Did you fuck a colombian girl?

>>1226448
Nah, I did end up meeting women though and just enjoying company around the cities; was actually there for a friends wedding. I live in FL though and its pretty cheap to fly there. Loved the people so I intend to go back at some point.

>>1226444
Trips of truth, and how appropriate, the wife is very bummed out as we were planning to go to Japan this year. But we obviously have to wait a bit. But I'm not sure how long we should wait or what to expect or prepare for when travelling with a baby. Wife is very insistent on a big trip, as long as we take care of priority #1.

>>1226357
introduce her to Jamal and she'll be well entertained during your absence

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>>1226373
>>1226374
>>1226379
Well number one problem is she works full-time, and I work a high-paying seasonal job, so I have six months free. Apparently I'm not allowed a single day of that to myself.
Secondly, she's capable and fairly badass, but that doesn't stop her from being a worrier. She starts by saying "why do you even want to go there anyway? What's the point?" Then she'll outline all the terrible things that could happen with what I'm planning, I shoot them all down, and she says "okay, well then I want to come with you."
A person who has fought against every facet of the trip is not going to make a good traveling companion, is she?
Lastly, I resent the idea that we are supposed to have become the same person. I'm losing grip on my identity. My mistake was not doing what >>1226424 did and let her know from the get-go that I was never going to change my ways.

>>1226504

>A person who has fought against every facet of the trip is not going to make a good traveling companion, is she?

I think your issue needs more useful help than will be provided by 4chan, and is not really an issue with travel but with compatibility and expectations of what it means to be married.

At the risk of sounding like Ann Landers, I think some professional counseling would be a good idea.

That said, there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to travel alone from time to time, or with couples having different interests and doing different things. But if the two people involved don't agree on this, it is going to lead to trouble. There is a difference between wanting to travel even when she can't go with you, and not wanting her along.

>>1226357
You should have laid the groundwork at the beginning. At the start of my relationship we agreed to a trip with just us, a trip with the kids/family (like our brothers), and a solo trip, at minimum each year.

Maybe this set up will work for you. Another strategy I've done is two for one. It starts out as a couples trip, then she goes home after a week or so amd I continue on solo

>>1226357

Grow some fucking balls and talk to her about it. She's not your mom. Its not unreasonable to just go elsewhere for two weeks a year, she is free to do the same.

Sounds like there are issues far beyond travel that you need to work out first.

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>>1226479
something that's really helped me (and this is difficult to explain, but i'll try) is to resist the inevitable lifestyle changes that come with having a kid, but to understand they are inevitable, and therefore not be resentful when life changes.

as a practical example, i used to rockclimb a lot, and i knew when i had a kid that would become a lot more difficult, but it was important to me that i didn't give it up, so i work hard in the framework i have to continue to climb. i also take some of my passions and reformat them to include the kid. we first took him to yosemite when he was 3 months old, now i don't know how many times he's been there and the surrounding areas of the sierra. we flew to denver with him when he was 16 months old, and like i said, we took him to japan when he was 23 months.trips just include a lot ore things that include him, like zoos and stuff. but you'll have a biological imperative to love your kid, so their happiness will make things that you may not have enjoyed before more enjoyable for you.

>>1226504
>...Lastly, I resent the idea that we are supposed to have become the same person...
So you resent becoming married? Why did you get married in the first place? When you are married and become an unstoppable team, you don't have to do everything together, but you do have to think together. Find common ground, and talk frequently. You have to clearly explain yourself to your wife, and she has to listen and see your point of view, and vice versa.

>>1226589
Thank you for sharing. The pic is inspiring and your words/experiences are encouraging. I was afraid flying at even 6 months would've been a big hassle. I'll do my best not to let this deter us from continuing our lifestyle as you said then.

Travel isn't the only issue it sounds like. It sounds like your woman has anxiety issues or distrusts you. Talk to her and get everything out in the open, and remember to never let somebody else stop you from doing what you want with your time and money.

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>>1226589
>something that's really helped me (and this is difficult to explain, but i'll try) is to resist the inevitable lifestyle changes that come with having a kid, but to understand they are inevitable, and therefore not be resentful when life changes.

The way my wife and I thought of it was, we try to raise our kids to live in our world, rather than giving in and living in theirs.

So they learn to, among other things, enjoy travel.

Yes, having kids brings changes to your life, but in my experience they are almost uniformly positive, and since life is going to hand you changes anyway, might as well pick the ones you want.

I recognize that some folks do not want and probably would not enjoy kids -- and to each his own: not trying to tell anybody how to live their life, just telling you how I'm living mine and how it is working out for me.

Pic related, the kids (obviously not extremely young kids) lobbied for a trip to Italy, we saved up and made it happen, it was one of the best times I have had traveling.

>>1226647
>It sounds like your woman has anxiety issues or distrusts you.

Interesting, it sounds to me like the issue lies elsewhere, at least in part.

One thing to remember, OP, and then I'll get out of what is feeling more like an /adv/ thread, is that you can't change her, you are only in charge of changing you. It is important for you to express to her your point of view, it is as or more important for you to listen and understand and accommodate hers.

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>>1226637
oh, and if you like going /out/ get an osprey poco plus, and get them used to it as young as possible. i started mine in it at 4 months old, and he loves it and we have since gone on hikes as long as 11 miles. 22l of storage, holds him high enough to see over my shoulder (even when he was smaller than recommended), stirrups, sunshade, freestanding, he can sleep in it, comfy to carry, hands down best baby purchase i made.

>>1226357
Thats why you have to let your ball and chain know its a sham marriage up front. it sounds like you somehow didnt let her know she was marrying a guy that was more interested in seeing the pyramids than her social and mental wellbeing. Its fine, this happens all the time. Sham marriages dont always start off as a mutual thing. If she challenges you just do stuff like say "what?" and "seriously?" over and over again. Let her know nobody else thinks its a big deal. If she points out that someone else disapproves then just bring up something bad that person did and act as if her being in agreement with that person is also a form of approval of their misdeed. You can also bring up ex bfs she had, or just act really hurt that she doesnt trust you. its important you look like a sane victim and she looks like a crazy old hag that somehow trapped you into committing your life to her.
Remember people are going to know what this is when they hear you are abroad with her too. Let her know that if she tries to blow it off with a little joke or somehow act like its compatible with a real marriage she will just look like a pathetic sucker. Even if she is indeed a pathetic sucker, its in her best interest if she just flatly blurts it out and doesnt show a hint of anxiety or hurt. If its really hard for her to do this and she does some lame crap like start tearing up or even sobbing, make her practice in front of the mirror for a while until she pull it off.
Oh yeah, and make sure you only take her calls like every 2 or 3 days while you are abroad, if that much, you dont need someone weighing you down while you are off having your adventures. As a single guy, i can tell you we all love having married guys hanging out with us just to escape their wives. Its always a total blast. I used to think that type of behavior was a sign of deep seated morality problems, i know better now.

>>1226504
Sounds like you weren't ready to marry her desu. Don't give up on travelling, but don't just leave her and make her come home to an empty house every night after work man. You have a partner, two income earners and no kids. You don't have to rough it or sleep in hostels and hitchhike to get around anymore. Stay in hotels, pick fancier restaurants, make your travel a vacation. You can go to real concerts and theatres, art galleries, museums. You don't have to be a RealTraveller(tm) to experience the culture.

>>1226676
Anyone who posts a photo of a child he supposedly loves on the 4chan is a bad person.
There is something seriously wrong with you dude.

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>>1226504
>A person who has fought against every facet of the trip is not going to make a good traveling companion, is she?
nice glass-is-half-empty attitude, faggot. you'd be better served to realize that a person who has concerns but will listen to and be persuaded by the information you present would make an EXCELLENT companion, travel or otherwise.

have you ever heard the phrase "the whole is more than the sum of it's parts"? you're in a partnership, you have to to work together to maximize success. if one of you "wins" the other loses, and if one of you loses you BOTH lose. that's what you need to come to realize.

>>1226680
Jesus christ dude

Also on a different note, I was banned for making a similar thread like 6 months ago. So this is bullshit

>>1226769
lol. i'm 36 and am on 4chan more days than not, i know something's wrong with me.

but when offering serious advice i like to provide a little proof that i'm not just a keyboard expert and my opinions are based off my experiences.

>>1226357
The last time I traveled without my wife, I tacked a month of travel to places she didn't really want to go onto a two-week visit to a place she did want to go. Plus, in my case, I made sure that part of my solo travel overlapped with a business trip on her part. So she had to be somewhere else anyway, and we met in the middle (I was in Ukraine, she was in Switzerland, we met in Turkey).

>>1226769
But posting on facebook would be ok? It's heavily censored and I dare say /trv/ is one of the more civilized boards.

>>1226547
OP here; I don't want to get into an /adv/-tier debate, but I'm reading all of your comments. Cheers lads.
We did bring this issue up at a counseling session once, and got basically nowhere.

>>1226504
you sound like a cuckold

>>1226769
Eh I don't think /trv/ is so bad. This is actually the only forum I come to. Other than the occasional /gif/....

>>1226504

On sensitive issues women rarely reveal what's really bothering them. They'll play this game for weeks, year even. Why they do it, perhaps we will never know.

Sounds like the real reason is that she does not trust you to travel alone and thinks you'll get romantic with another woman.

But as other anons have said, not sure why you would be in a relationship, and then travel alone?

Full disclosure I did not read all of the thread.

Propose an open relationship ;)

I actually knew a couple where they absolutely split everything, and they could never go travelling because he insisted she pay for her own fare
lmao

If your married, you are now a team together
You should never travel for fun without your wife

Don't be a fucking cuck and do it.

>>1226357

Think if the roles were reversed
would you be okay with your wife gone a few weeks and getting plowed by a bull?

>>1228238
So I'm not allowed to go to the bar without my wife?
I'm not allowed to go for a walk without her?
Where do you draw that line?
>>1228295
Absolutely. I've encouraged her to be her own person and do things independent of me. If she wanted to leave the country alone for six months I'd totally support her.

>>1226424
you sound like a total jerk

>>1226504
>I resent the idea that we are supposed to have become the same person. I'm losing grip on my identity
well then my friend marriage was the wrong choice for you

>>1226424
>but honestly no person is going to prevent me from doing what I want to do as an adult.
i think you misunderstand what it means to be an adult

>>1228484
>comparing goign for a walk to going to another country thousands of miles away for a month and spending thousands of dollars

I like /trv/ view on relationship travel.

I am planning a big 8 month trip for when I am done school (27, second time in post secondary)
The gf (26) is just going into med school so she can only come for half of the trip before classes start.

I wish she could be there the whole time. I will still enjoy it but i am going to miss her for the second half, the only reason I am going to go alone
is because I started planning the trip before we started dating (When I started school, 6 years ago) and she doesn't care, i do though.
I wouldn't want to travel without her in the future.

>I wanna share my life with gf
>why wouldn't I want to share my adventures too?

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>>1228566
>not being present to support your gf during the crazy stressful initial months of med school
enjoy coming home to not having a gf

>>1226784
>>1226769
Nothing wrong with using 4chan, especially not /trv/. One of the few unruined boards.

>>1226784
How old was your wife when you had your kid? What advice would you have for first time parents?

How old where the on the first flight? Isn't that frustrating?

>>1228626
>How old was your wife when you had your kid?
30
>What advice would you have for first time parents?
patience, involvement, flexibility. find ways to include them in things you love in ways they enjoy.
>How old where the on the first flight?
16 months
>Isn't that frustrating?
isn't what frustrating?

stop being a little bitch and go?

>>1228733
>mgtow need not respond

Why not be a MGTOW?

This thread is a train wreck. This needs to be taken to /adv/ but I'll throw in my hat as well.

Don't get to thinking this requires some complicated well calibrated decision. Do what makes you happy. If she leaves because you're doing what makes you happy, or if she hates you for what makes you happy, you guys shouldn't be together.

I could ask if you have kids and how that plays into this, but this is already more /adv/ than /trv/, take it there.

>>1228727
>isn't that frustrating?

I think anon means flying with an infant.

I'm also concerned about this. I don't want it to be a hassle and uncomfortable for us all, but I also don't want to miss out, or worse, slump in apathy and become boring like most aging adults. What age is good to fly with an infant?

>>1228745
depends on the kid and circumstances. mine did fantastic to and from denver at 16 months (even though he was congested from a cold on the flight home), and great to japan at 23 months, but home from japan took every trick we had to keep him from spinning out.

>be me, 18
>have gf for 3,5 years
>go leave her for a rtw trip
>we'll move together when I'm back in summer

ask me anything

Jesus, after reading this thread I think I will never marry.
How is this a viable option in 2017?
You folks are nutty.

Wife is Ok with me travelling with my mates (if she knows them). Travelling alone for reason that dont relate to my job would seem weird because thats just not what i normally do. It depends on the woman... and on yourself

>>1226357
Okay, as a guy that likes to run away from his family at least once a year, I'm going to give you serious advice.

First you need to honestly talk to her about why you want to travel by yourself. Early on I told my wife that sometimes I just need to be on my own. It doesn't have anything to do with her, or how I feel about her. It's who I am as a person. I love her and my kids more than anything in the world, but there is a part of me that needs to get away from everyone and decompress from life. It's not about escaping from the marriage, because I'm still completely committed to her and our family, and I'm not going out there to cheat on her. It's my way of having time to be with me. That's healthy.

You may be in a bad spot right now because it sounds like you didn't establish this at the beginning of your relationship, and she may not understand why all of a sudden you're feeling this way. Tell her what you're feeling, but don't expect her to pull a 180 right away. This will probably take a while to get her to understand. Be patient and try to understand why she feels the way she does too.

You've got to start small. Wean her into it. Start with day trips. Work your way up to an overnight. Then work up to a long weekend. Do this for a while, and she'll get used to you being away for a couple of days. Don't go straight into disappearing for two weeks. It's like trying to get her into anal. If you try to just stick it in her butt without any prior experience and she's going to be very unhappy. You need to work your way up to it.

In your case it seems like your wife is also against the idea because she's jealous you're going to go do something she can't. It's important that you take her places as well. Don't leave her completely high and dry, and understand that she probably wants to be able to go out and see and experience the same things you do. Make sure you balance out your travel.

>>1228550
Yeah, being honest about yourself and your needs up front at the beginning of a relationship is a total jerk move.

This is why most relationships fail. People aren't honest about what they want early on before their partner becomes too invested in the relationship. It may seem kind of selfish, but if you're honest about yourself, how is it that bad?

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>>1228927
Thanks for the serious reply, and thanks for understanding my situation.

I honestly do think it all boils down to jealousy on her part. If that's the case, and I try to look at things from her perspective, how screwed up is it to insist the person you love give up his dreams and life's ambitions just because you are unable to participate?
It would be one thing if I were that guy who is getting paid by Nat Geo to walk from Africa to Argentina, skyping with his wife every couple of weeks. But I'm only asking 6-8 weeks at a time, with skype access most days and with very little impact on our finances.
All she does when I'm gone is eat junk food, watch netflix, and conjure images of me with foreign women (which is ironic because I travel exclusively to Muslim countries). If she's depressed while I'm away, I'm gonna say it's her choice to get like that.
I'm about to drop every penny of my life savings to pay for her postgrad degree. What if I said "I don't want you to go to college; I'd be jealous if you were more educated than me."?

This thread misrepresents what a good relationship we really have. We were together for 8 years before we got married and never argued once. It's just this one insurmountable obstacle in a field of daisies.

>>1228940
Did you ever travel alone in that 8 years? If so, have you since you have been married? How long have you been married?

I am >>1226559

>>1228927 gave god advice when he said take her out as well. On vacation with the wife, kids, and daughter's friend for spring break right now. Have another trip with the kids in May. And at least two more with the both of us or her solo (she has the solo/friend option, but 11times out of 10 takes me ). Capping off Christmas and New Year with another family vacation. This gets me a 2-3 week solo vacation around my birthday this year. Does she like it? No. She'd much rather I take her. Does she accept it/not have any complaints? Yes. Especially when she considers the way I travel solo is not her preference.

>>1226774
Oh look, you are the victim...thanks for taking my advice. Now just act like that toward your wife and the rest will take care of itself. Eventually she will figure out she married a manipulator, and if you slowly wear her down she will resign herself to living in a failed marriage.

You came here for info and I'm giving it to you. It what I see and what other people will see too. The difference is they won't tell you, just like you won't tell your wife how you care more about site seeing than your marriage.

This seeking advice is just a formality you are going through to make it look like you care, the truth is you have already decided and all her sobbing and depression won't faze you at all because you she isn't even close to being your first priority.

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>>1228940
>But I'm only asking 6-8 weeks at a time
>i love my wife and am happy in my marriage, i just want to be having fun far away from her for 15-20% of the year
>invisible strangers plz justify
>mfw

>>1229243
I don't think what OP wants to do is wrong in principle, but 6-8 weeks is much. 2, maybe 3, weeks at most. Only exception is visiting family thrown in there.

>>1229245
yep. my wife and i take independent trips every year, but not more than 1-2 weeks. and we BOTH get trips, not just half of us.

>>1229216
Your fedora is showing

>>1226357
Do you have a brother or close friend you can take along with you? That is looks more legitimate because you can sell it as a way of spending time with another close person in your life. I go hiking and camping with my brother. My wife hates camping, so she doesn't care if I go without her, and I am going with my brother, so she is not as concerned for my safety.

>>1229256
Ouch that meme hurt, plus no more sir

I didn't. It destroyed the relationship.

Dated and lived with this girl for 3 1/2 years. Only one I could see myself marrying. I've built my whole life around having plenty of money and time to travel. She didn't have the same option. Just the typical 2 weeks off a year and not much money to spare after normal living expenses.

She had known about my serious angst to take an extended trip about 6 months prior to the breakup but didn't support the idea. After trying to work something out with her for that long, eventually I just bought a plane ticket. She was really upset but was somewhat supportive after a huge fight. Once I actually got to the destination, the constant need to update her due to jealousy (she always thought I wanted to go just to party and fuck other girls), I couldn't handle it and ended it.

Always knew it'd be a lose lose situation. If I took the trip, I'd lose her. If I didn't, I'd always be wondering what if I had taken that trip. In the end, I've lost my soulmate but have gained ultimate freedom.

good luck opie. Cold world

>>1229323
OP here.
>eventually I just bought a plane ticket
That's something I will never do. She even said in our last conversation about it "sometimes I want to tell you to just fucking go and get it over with". If she ever said that to me, I'd recognize the option as a self-destruct button for our trust of one another. Even if compromise breeds mutual resentment, it's still a mark of respect.

>>1229016
We went to different colleges so we were apart all the time and I got used to solo travel. I handled the separation better than she did, apparently.
We've traveled to a dozen countries together, circumnavigated the globe together. She's actually been to about 30 countries, way more than I have.

>>1228927
>First you need to honestly talk to her about why you want to travel by yourself.
She doesn't even understand why anybody would want to go for a walk alone in the woods. Trying to tell her about the exhilarating freedom of being alone in a foreign land is just an insult to her.

>>1229330
You need to compromise with your length of time, and compliment it with greater travel with her. Maybe you can leave her at a resort for a some hours or days

>>1229323

>If I took the trip, I'd lose her. If I didn't, I'd always be wondering what if I had taken that trip. In the end, I've lost my soulmate but have gained ultimate freedom.

That sounds like the predicament I was in a few weeks ago. Dated this dame for two years, all of it was solid gold, but then broke it off because we couldn't work each other into each other's plans.

Things work out for the better, man. I promise you.

>>1226504
>>1226424 me again

Forgot how slow these boards can be.

>I resent the idea that we are supposed to have become the same person. I'm losing grip on my identity.

That's almost crippling for me to read as I've had the same mentality cross my mind many times in the past. What's worse--but good to know the truth I guess--is there seems to be some consensus here that everything has to be a team effort; fortunately >>1228931 had a grasp of what I was going for.

I've been in relationships where I started to feel like everything had to be done together, otherwise the SO wasn't okay with it. Without realizing it I started to feel like I was confined to living a life with this person like everything was a 3-legged-race, whether I liked it or not. That's not what I wanted and started to feel like I was losing my own self identity. Who am/was I outside of this person? Yes there's certainly good qualities being together, but I needed someone that would let me flourish outside of the relationship as well. I don't believe that to be traditional or the paradigms we're setup to have with relationships, but I am much happier this way. And fortunately I'm now with someone that's similar and I encourage her to do things on her own and with others; it's nice to share our experiences thereafter.

Think for a lot of people--and probably the age demographic on this board--traveling has a lot to do with finding yourself. It's a lifetime experience. It can be amazing when shared with someone. It could also be crippling if not done how one wants it sought out, missing out on that life experience they desired. However I do realize in life there are things we give up for others because we believe it's the right thing to do. I don't know if those are the things that one would sit there on their deathbed and still think about though...

I'm honestly only relating to you, and perhaps some here have much better sound advice to give.

>>1226504
>A person who has fought against every facet of the trip is not going to make a good traveling companion, is she?
theyre only excuses to make you stay with her.

You should not be Travelling with the excuse that it's tied to your Identity. You may be passionate for traveling, but if you bind the two together, you can never compromise the situation, because you will always feel you're being controlled and forced into losing a part of yourself, and you are not. You're being asked to relent control of a hobby. I'm not saying your partner is valid in staying resistant to understanding your hobby, because they need to be supportive, but to say "I'm leaving for weeks a time where it'll be largely assumed I am a Single Man and I indulge in whatever I feel like doing" and then also fail to see why this difficult for a wife to come to terms with this, is being selfish.

With the cheating aspect, you should also examine your sex life with your partner. Is she satisfied? Are you? Do you want to have more sex than she does? I could see a wife feeling like she's under-performing and threatened by the opportunity for her husband, who will stick out like a sore thumb in many locations, to get a lot of attention. It's a bit childish though, to assume everyone is a sex tourist.

I think the underlying issue here is that you're both painting a picture that completely separating yourself from her for lengths of time is the goal: You "need" to do it. If you treat travel like a matter of identity crisis, you're going to trigger a crisis-mode response.

If you truly need to feel in control over yourself, versus her having control, I think you've done yourself a disservice by being married. Why is your need to be alone more valid than her's to be a unit? I feel like you both don't know each other very well, but that could be wrong.

>>1228940
>only asking 6-8 weeks at a time
>6-8 weeks
>only
>6-8 weeks
Dude.. I can't give you any advice because I understand your wife completely. From reading the OP I thought you were talking about 2-3 weeks at most.

Promise her that when you reach your final destination, you will buy her a plane ticket to come see you and you could have a couple days of romance, doing what she wants to do. You gotta keep your wife happy bro or she will be sucking some nig's dick when you come home.

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>>1229755
This Anon is wise. Heed his words.

>>1230388
Why? What's wrong with not being in the same house as somebody every single week from the age of 25 until death?
Maybe I'm mentally retarded, but indulge me.

If I were left alone I'd get all kinds of shit done. Like I said before, all she does is eat junk food and binge watch TV shows. If she gets depressed while I'm gone, I think I know why.
The fact that my presence is a crutch for another person to feel normal is suffocating.

>>1229755
You think like my wife; you can't tell the difference between a hobby and the core of a person's personality.

>>1230662
Dude I completely understand you. I really want to solo travel for months on end but im pretty sure my gf would hate the shit out of me. I often think about breaking up just so that I can fulfill my traveling plans. Im fucking 22 and I feel like an old married guy. I do have a 2 1/2 week solo trip planned though.

I honestly don't give a shit if she travels by herself. She can literally do anything she wants as long as shes not fucking other people.

However, I don't get the same privileges. She gets kind of upset when I talk about my solo trip that I've planned and clearly looks pissed off.

OP, I know this is easier said than done, and I don't always follow this advice either, but do what makes you happy. She should understand that and if she doesn't then maybe you married the wrong person.

>>1230670
Also maybe I am with the wrong girl too. I don't think its healthy to fantasize about breaking up every single day

>>1230662
Why did you marry her if you were just going to do anything you want without minding how she feels?

>>1230662
2 months away, not work related is ridiculous. It's not normal. As a few other anons said, 2-3 weeks may be understandable, but 2 months, without your wife, willingly, all at once? That's fucked. And this is coming from a guy on his 15th year of marriage who still does a bit of solo traveling.

>>1230662
>all she does is eat junk food and binge watch TV shows
Why do you let this happen to your lifetime partner? In case it's the other way around, why make a lifetime partner out of a shitty person like this? Seriously man.

>>1230695
Hey, I'd do the same shit if all my other half did was daydream about backpacking without me. Maybe he just sucks and she needs an escape?

>>1230662
Please. There's a lot to get into just with you equating "travel" to a "personality trait", but really, if you could answer:

>Why is your need to be alone more valid than her's to be a unit?
I think we could all see just how much of a child we're dealing with. You've got quite an ego for someone who's justifying running away from his partner as just "who he is".

>>1226357
>married people on 4chan
Fuck off normie REEEEEEE

I feel you OP, I just broke up with my gf of 4 years because I spent my whole life working for the ability to have complete freedom/location independence.

She didn't understand the burning need I had to be free and didn't want to give up her "career" even though I make 10x her salary and she could have come along.

But, you married her so lmao

Going to NZ for 6 months, while my gf is studying. We plan to meet up in SEA and travel around for a month together before heading back to Europe. Im 31, she is 26.

>>1229755
cuck

>>1230662
Dude, it sounds like you have massive resentment towards her because she's holding you back. And she sounds like she's very needy and doesn't have much of a life outside of you.

What the fuck are you guys doing together?

>>1231384
I could list a million reasons. I said before, this thread mischaracterizes what a great relationship she and I have. I just wanted advice on how to have my cake and eat it too.

>>1226357
I don't think a mature relationship needs "few weeks out of the year" time apart from each other. A week, a few weekends with friends, some kind of "the other person hates hiking/camping" or some extreme sport kind of thing? Sure. But you know many people play golf or tennis while spouses enjoy the resort and shopping during the day at the same time, and you meet up at dinner and you bring other couples along too. If we're talking rock climbing, where you're utterly destroyed at the end of the day, fine. If we're talking actual exploring, then...you typically do like to share those experiences with the spouse, I've found.

If you have a daily sex life marriage, like I do, wtf with that amount of time apart? What's the point? It seems to me if you don't have to be apart that long, you wouldn't seek that out, unless you have something wrong with your mindset. You aren't committed, you aren't putting the time into deepening the relationship with these escapist fantasies of being single again unencumbered.

A "few weeks out of the year" is where yea, I think it is too much to ask. Go see a therapist, I think, and figure out your shit man-child.

>>1231913
Cut back from 6-8 weeks. Comromise with an equal are greater amount of trips for her. You may even able to sell 6 weeks broken up over a few trips, but 1.5 months/2 months voluntarily away is non-starter for most humans.

>>1226426
>a few 2-4 day backpacking trips alone
>most of our travelling together

How do you get so much time off?

>>1231933
Not that guy, but I have a federal job. 3 to 4 days off for every federal holiday. Plus 30 days of leave year, stackable to 60, 90 if you do it right.

File: 1487797485046.jpg (9KB, 236x236px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 236x236px

>>1231933
she's a nurse and pulls 100k+pto working parttime with a flexible schedule, and i'm a stay-at-home dad.

life's breddy gud

>>1231937
>tfw private sector

only get 15 days

>>1226680
Underrated post from a passive aggressive, but real-talking person, probably a psychologist. I love it!

OP, since you said she works all year, and isn't free, and you have a high paying seasonal job, I'm going to ask you why you're lazy and deciding not to work year round in some other job. What gives? It kind of further illustrates a bit of some man child maturity here.

>>1226771
>>>1226504
>>A person who has fought against every facet of the trip is not going to make a good traveling companion, is she?
>nice glass-is-half-empty attitude, faggot. you'd be better served to realize that a person who has concerns but will listen to and be persuaded by the information you present would make an EXCELLENT companion, travel or otherwise.
Another great poster. This guy has critical thinking skills and likely experienced too. You know who makes a bad traveling companion? Probably you if your logic and thinking skills are any indication. Why don't you already know if she is a good traveling companion yet? Go somewhere together. When someone wants to travel with you, it's not a chain around your neck until you know it from experience. Refusing to travel with your spouse is simply infantile, especially when you haven't even given us the full details of where and when and for how long, because it might weight her opinions to us. You should be picking somewhere you both want to go, or agreeing that you'll take turns. You communicate though, and work it out.

I'm very traveled, and I can tell you there are coping skills you obtain when you travel with someone or someone(s) who don't exactly click in every way. Everything from separating after breakfast and arranging a meetup time later to making it clear that there is one thing you want to do that isn't negotiable, some band you must see, some piece of art. Communicate it upfront, not in the moment of course. Give and take. These skills that come out of your family if they werent dysfunctional, really.

>>1228552
>I'm losing grip on my identity
This is a sign of mental illness. I'm not even exaggerating or picking on you. This is not a well adjusted phrase. You have some disorder you've never addressed. People who are codependent figure it out that they are ultimately responsible for not having their own personality, or for their feelings themselves. It's not someone else holding you back or making you change. It's all you man. If you can't carve out feeling normal and whole with this person, you never worked on yourself and your communication, or never was your own person. Stop defining yourself as someone who tears away from a spouse who doesn't want to do what you want to do, when you're married.

>>1228566
>gf medical school
>I wish she could be there the whole time.
It'll all pay in the end. She'll need you to make it through school. Most med students are married, and the support network of family and spouse/bf are how they end up feeding themselves, doing laundry, etc. It is going to be rough, but to not focus on the end goal but living in the moment is how to get through it. Set her up with some premade freezer items, some costco stockup, some shopping of new clothes to get stocked up for those exam times should ease the pain. Use facebook to post, and unlimited texting, so you don't have to be on the phone when it ended up not being convenient. Try not to rub in the "fun" factor in your posts.

>>1228745
>flying with an infant
Well, car trips are more preferable for sure to prevent some packing problems, for the trunk space, but surely not more enjoyable. The only annoyance is the extra baby stuff at the gate and through security, the collapsible stroller, the safe crib or whatever else you decide to bring that fits that trip. Everything else is not any different than what you deal with day to day. Babies might cry on a plane. The newest planes have better pressurization changes, so you know. You can use airplanes, keep their noses clear with saline and aspirators, and just deal with it. Wear noise cancelling headphones. The other people? They should have headphones too, don't worry about it. It's just a temporary fact of life. Any parents on the plane, like more than half of all women and men, they shrug it off. It's not a romantic restaurant.

It's fine early on when it's just breast milk, and then a little hasslish when it's baby food and you have some kind of firm belief in brands and packing it all, but when the kid starts to eat people food is when it gets a bit more normal again. Toddlers are pretty good. You have to slow down a touch. Keep the habit of naptimes. Having a good kid that can sleep anywhere with any noise level helps. You can literally go strolling with a baby at 10PM if it sleeps like a champ. Keep in mind people who live where you are visiting have kids too and they live their lives just fine.

>>1231964
>when the kid starts to eat people food is when it gets a bit more normal again.
this x1000.

god what a game changer it was when my kid started eating real food.