ITT: Pokemon are real (An RP thread.) What do you want to d

>>9751601
Die

>>9751601
goo

>>9751623
This

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>>9751601
Exactly what I'm doing right now, drinking and crank-calling my best friend's shitty parents.

>Waiting for the she-beast of helicoptering rage to pick up the phone.

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>>9751535
>overwhelmed by max booping
>clover giggles haappily
>>9751578
alright, at least we get to know each other, so please don't forget me

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>>9751681
>>9751587
>Ring
>Ring
>Ring
"Office of Monica Brodd, head of Human Resources of [Generic corp]"

>>9751601
Confess my love to jiji

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>>9751601
i don't know really
i this guy did not stop hugging me the whole time, and he didn't say anything yet
is there something wrong?

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>>9751601
I'm gonna show Ho-Oh Alola!
>>9751483
Okay! We can go to Alola! I can show you all my favorite places and stuff, it'll be so fun!
>At some point during his ramble Sun lets Nebby out of his ball, the lion opening the portal and stepping through to Melemele without a second thought.

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>>9751706
"Hi there, this is Johnathan Price. It's my understanding you're looking for information on a Mr. Sebastian Brodd? I have, er, some good news and some bad news, ma'am."
>John fakes a deep breath.

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>>9751706
>>9751788
>Play Autistic_Reeing.wav

>>9751804
(Idk if you're new here or what but youre going to get ignored. Porygons are cursed.)

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>>9751788
"My sweet wayward son! Yes I did one of your types to check on him and his disgusting friends"
"Tell me everything"

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>>9751826
(Seriously? Alright, I'll go then.)
>>9751836
>Scree.wav?

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>>9751601
No clue amico

>>9751578
...Didn't dat already happen?

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>>9751804
>>9751849
>Angry beeping

>>9751849
(Theyre going to metagame you bud)

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>>9751874
>>9751882
(Nevermind I'll go.)

>>9751896
(You can have the Porygon come interact with Unit One if you want. I might be a bit slow to respond, but I'll try to answer as soon as possible)

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>>9751709
>(Squint)

>>9751694
Yeah, I'll try not to.

>>9751862
..I don't think so?

>>9751896
(You're fine, dude. Don't mind the locals, they get a bit rowdy.)

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>>9751896
(You don't have to)
>Follow
>Further angry beeping at the stranger

>>9751896
(See you I guess. Rip.)

>(nother person chased off by shitposting assholes
And people wonder why this thread is dying

>>9751987
(it isn't even shitposters at this point. I see "are we ignoring this person?" All the time in discord, not helping the RP.)

>>9752030
(I only saw that like, twice)

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>>9751743
Oh!
>The bird tries to not let the impressiveness of the landscape affect his voice, much.
This is very nice...

>>9751601
Same thing I do everyday, try and take over the world

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>>9751836
>Pass a note to Seb: "Get a coconut from the kitchen and wrap it in two bags. I'll explain later."
"Er, the good news is that he's alive and well, although, er, his mouth's a little full right now."
"The bad news is, er, we can no longer to business with you. We're pretty sure his current roommate is the Alolan Psycho and I think ohgodhesawme."
>>9752030
( Random Porygon2 was kinda butting into a prearranged Thing, I apologize if we pissed people off )

>>9752108
>( Random Porygon2 was kinda butting into a prearranged Thing, I apologize if we pissed people off )
(Then tell him OOC and don't ignore him you huge cunt. We're bleeding players because of you.)

>>9752055
(Either way it's a bit unnerving.)
>>9751934
(I've liked jiji since he first posted, he was honestly really kind and sweet
But you and borb got to him first as I was to shy to say it
You guys seem happy though so I won't really say or do anything
Stay happy)

>>9752139
We're bleeding players because people wont stop causing bullshit.

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>>9752108
>Get that coconut
>Wonder what John has planned

>>9752108
>prearranged Thing
(Sooooooooooo more structured bullshit. Got it. RP can't be fun. Got it.)
>>9752158
(Like ignoring them.)

>>9752166
No it's fuckers like you just stirring shit where the isn't any.

>>9752158
Maybe we should start screenshotting discord so we aren't blamed for things?

>>9752187
>Shit stirring
Not that anon but that's a little bit of an overly hostile response

>>9752187
(Not that dude but ignoring players isn't fucking cool.)
(Ray and SB do that shit a lot.)

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>>9752108
"What do you mean full, what is he doing?!"
"The Alolan Psycho? LIES, I want a full report by tomorrow...OH GOD"

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>>9752159
>>9752108
>>9752237
>Zap mouse: try not to laugh.
>He thinks he knows what's coming.
>>9752218
( I'll try to be more communicative in general in the future. Random reeing-during-a-conversation Porygon2 wasn't the best entrance to the thread tee bee haitch tho. )

>>9752218
T/b/h imo it's not just them

>>9752269
(yeah let's just start telling everyone whos bad at intros to fuck off amazing idea why do you have GMship again?)
>>9752271
(I know, I'm guilty of it too.)

(So what is the right way to get in this place without getting ignored...?)

>>9752280
>be me
>in discord for the longest
>not chosen to be gm
Fuck me

>>9752280
Now anon you're just being combative, he acknowledged his mistake and is going to try and avoid it in the future so stop being like that

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>>9752269
>Recording
>Holy shit this is great

>>9752280
(Ray is right, introing as something that can be interpreted as a mere shitpost is bad form)

>>9752315
(Do more GM things and you might be chosen)

>>9752315
...No?

>>9752312
Just don't hop in with Rees I guess?

>>9752344
>intro badly because it's my first RP
>ignored
ok bye

>>9752312
Wish I had an answer for you but alas I don't seeing as I only got roped into the RP from somebody responding seriously to my shitpost

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>>9752271
(I've done that several times, I'm trying to stop and give people the benefit of the doubt.)
>>9752312
(I'd suggest introducing your character by asking a question)
>>9752368
(You can always come bug one of my characters, I don't mind)
>>9752081
This is Melemele! Tapu Koko lives here, but um.... I think he's sleeping right now?

>>9752344
>do exactly that
>bring it up eventually
>get shitblown out of water
>give up on gming
Yeah no
Ships sailed

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>>9752237
>John: grab a heavy object and the coconut-in-a-bag, fake a whispered panic.
"fuckfuckfuck, how did he see me with his face full of cock? I'm out, lady, spying on some Raichu-banging dude this isn't worth dying for, I got a senpai-"
>John stops talking abruptly, drops the coconut-in-a-bag, and bashes it a few times with the brass pipe.
>It's not the best imitation, but over the phone it might fool someone, maybe.

>>9752401
Literally who

>>9752401
Go to bed Emrys.

>>9752454
(Try again)

>>9752454
(Not me, I'm just a lurkerfag now)

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>>9752418
>Completely fooled
>Panicked screeching
"SEBASTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN"

>>9752504
(You said you closed out the threads lair)

>>9752504
(Hi Em, glad you're not dead)

>>9752418
>>9752538
(Why the fuck would John make her think Seb is a murderer. This is the fucking stupidest prank ever, why the fuck wouldn't she call the cops????????????????)
(What the fuickl.)

>>9752566
Can't you read?

>>9752576
(Alolan psycho, whatever. Still. Cops. What the fuck.)
(Hate Ray and SBs plots because no one can get in on them.)
(I could have my cop character be listening and they'd shitpost me)

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>>9752538
>John gets back on the line.
"Fooled you. Found out you're hiring PIs, though, please don't."

>>9752612
(Cop character? Which one, there's like 40)

>>9752612
>(Hate Ray and SBs plots because no one can get in on them.)
(FUCKING THIS.)
(What was it someone tried to get in on and they pretty much told him to fuck off IC and OOC?)

>>9752612
Still no.
She's getting japed into thinking the PI was getting murdered by the alolan psycho, who's Sebs roomie.

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>>9752566
( yeah this was a drunk idea and a dumb one.)
>>9752618
"Uh, bro? Like, that was a little over the top."
>>9752642
( We can lighten up on the preplanning, yo. Sorry )

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>>9752618
>Hyperventilating helicopter mom noises
"YOUUUUUUU"

>>9752612
>>9752566
(The safety of the PI was the last thing to cross her mind)
(Also this whole thing happened in under a few seconds, not enough to think of calling the police of multiple regions away)

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>adri is still being hugged by the metagross
...
i guess i'll be here for a while

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>Hilbert sits on Desmond's chest, crossing one leg over the other. The TV turns onto a random movie channel with a click.
Good morning Des. Night. Afternoon. Whatever.

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>Arrive in Unova, now with an av.
>Grab a map and try to find this castle.
>Rolling for how lost he's going to get.

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>>9752702
"Yeeeah, me. That was a little too much, Ray might be right."
>>9752344
"Seb, did I overdo it?."

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>>9752784
Oh, morning, sweetheart.
You up for some serious talk?

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>>9752835
A serious discussion before I've even gotten a chance to style my hair? Geez Des, I didn't realize we were married.

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>>9752690
>>9752829
"Not really"

>>9752702
>Get the phone
"GREETINGS, MOM"
>Hang up

>>9752642
(Literally never happened)
(Feel free to butt in, in a reasonable manner)

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>>9752799
>Dubfail.
"Pinwheel forest...? I guess so."
>Whip out dex.
Does anyone know how close the Plasma castle thing is to Pinwheel Forest?

Trainer here. I might have fucked up. Slightly. Or a lot. Uh...

Is that guy that wanted to be eaten still here?

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>>9752940
Pretty far out. Pinwheel's southeast Unova, you want to be northeast, further inland.
>>9752941
Alright, what's the situation?

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>>9752940
You need to go north quite a ways. What business do you have at N's castle?

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>>9752940
.... the Plasma Castle is north of Opelucid City. You're very far from it.
>>9752941
What did you do?

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>>9752903
You haven't even kissed me. Maybe you did, I don't fucking remember that one night honestly.
John and Seb are going to do a radio show thing and, well, I WAS going to fork some cash over to help but, fucking.
I don't even know if I really care that much about them.
>>9752940
North.

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>>9752964
Alright, sorry.
>>9752975
I'm getting on a contract I guess.
>>9752982
>>9752998
Right, right. Sorry.

>Snug large not-dragon.
>Rolling to head up to Opelucid City.

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>>9752704
well i am tired, i guess i'll go to sleep

>>9752964
>>9752982
So uh... I was doing some training and my rockruff leveled up... and I kiiinda... lost track of time. And his level. He's a lot bigger now and uh... just sitting in a corner. Staring at me. And chewing on a Lillipup. My neighbor's Lillipup actually. I'm uh. pretty sure it's dead. And it's still staring at me.

>>9753046
...Midnight?

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>>9753046
You will probably be checked for narcotics and have a permanent mark in your trainer ID.

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>>9753023
You're fine. The Plasma Castle isn't exactly on the map.
>>9753046
There's nothing you can do for the Lillipup aside from attempting to pay reparations later.
Most Pokémon tend to get very defensive of their food, so I would advise not attempting to take it from him.
The period after evolution is very confusing for Pokémon. You'll have to take some time to figure out and cement your relationship again.
Perhaps start by calling him over and cleaning the blood off of him. Grooming is an excellent bonding method.

>>9753092
It's red with weird noodle arms and has Kai Hansen's haircut. And it's still staring at me.

>>9753118
I... what? Is it poisoned or... just scary?

>>9753136
Grooming. Okay, right. He always got a little rowdy at bath time. Is uh... is it safe to...?

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>>9753046
I'd say go with my commander's advice >>9753136, and also confess to your neighbors what happened. If you cover it up and your neighbor finds out anyway, it'll be even more of a mess.

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>>9753023
(Oh if anyone wants to play a pokemon on Jack's team. I'm planning for him to run monotype Dragon. I'd prefer you grab a dragon but I'm not adverse to people trying other stuff.)
(Charizard is going to be X if he ever gets over his anxiety enough to get into battling more.)

>>9753136
Thank you, sir? Um, this Castelia place is nice. I should be there soon, hopefully.
>Rolling to stay on the right path.

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>>9752998
No, we haven't kissed. Were you looking for one?
>Hilbert waggles his eyebrows and winks
Anyway, whatcha gonna do with the money? Open a strip bar?

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>>9753161
Midnight Lycanroc tend to be more prone to aggression than their daytime counterparts.
I would suggest asking him permission before attempting to bath him, particularly if he was prone to rowdiness as a Rockruff as well.
Alternatively you could settle for simply brushing him out and attempting to wash off any gore with a wet wash rag.
>>9753171
There's no rush. Feel free to take in the sights, the Plasma Castle isn't going anywhere.
.... hopefully.

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>>9753161
You might be tested based on your remark of having lost track of time.

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>>9753208
>Desmond sticks his tongue out.
Maybe next time we get smashed. Fuck if I know. I was half thinking about setting up a gym over in Gateon.

>>9753168
Okay. Right. This is going to be a fun conversation.

>>9753258
Alright, thanks Ano.. N? What's the king of Plasma doing on a kantonese berry farming forum?

>>9753268
Huh? I was hiking and getting him some practice! I've never even used drugs!

>>9753171
(is he going to be battle focused?)

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>>9753338
(No, not unless he gets pushed that way by one of his other pokes or has a really big character change. He has a lot of shit to work through before he becomes a master trainer. And if you pick up a poke on his team feel free to do stuff when I'm not posting.)
>>9753258
...Hopefully? Does it normally move?
>I forgot route 4 is more of a town in BW2, rip.
Wow, this place is really nice.
>Rolling to keep going.

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>>9753406
No, but I wouldn't put it past Colress to figure out a way to make it move.
When you enter the building you may meet two or three very large dog Pokémon. They're friendly, but you will be covered in saliva.
>>9753318
I like to give advice to trainers when I'm not bogged down with paperwork.
It helps pass the time.

>>9753561
Oh, neat. So uh... what do I do about the staring thing? He didn't really put up any fight with the brushing and the wash cloth but... he's staring at me. A lot. Like right into my eyes. Right now. It's starting to make me a little scared.

>>9753591
Have you tried talking to him?

>>9753406
(what constitues a big character change?)

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>>9753310
>His tongue gets caught between Hilbert's fore finger and thumb.
Don't stick it out if you aren't planning on using it~
>And with that the tongue is released.
A gym, huh? Steel type?

>>9753406
>Using and at the beginning of a sentence
(And i thought I had bad grammar.)
(Btw if you can't tell. This Is a joke.)

>>9753645
I know you said it was a joke but outside of high school English starting a sentence with and is perfectly acceptable

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>>9753629
If you're gonna be like that maybe I will.
>He jabs Hilbert in the butt with a finger.
Yeah, I was thinking about getting it built on the docks or up where that little shack is. You've never been there, have you? They have revolving bridges that you can switch and get to a shitty shack from. Its a weird place.

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>>9753591
With most canine Pokémon such behavior is a test of dominance.
A challenge.
Looking away would be submitting.
Try talking to him, but make sure to hold eye contact the entire time. I normally don't suggest Pokeballs, but it may be necessary to have at hand if things go downhill.

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>>9753625
(Probably getting over his anxiety. Hence why he doesn't use his face when posting on the board. If you're asking if this is a comfy only character, uh, that's really up to how things go. His pokemon are the main driving force for him. If he gets pokemon that want comfy he'll go toward comfy. If he gets a bunch of pokemon that want to battle or N assigns him battles he'll gravitate more toward that.)
(Hope that makes sense.)
>>9753561
Who's Colress?
>Dogs.
...Is there any way to avoid the dogs?

>>9753615
Yes. He did't really react. I don't even think I've seen him blink. It's been almost an hour.

>>9753831
Uh. Right. Don't really have any balls. Was kinda into the whole 'pokemon are friends' thing.

Basically what I'm hearing is that I'm in a staring contest and if I lose I get my ribs smashed.

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>>9753766
>Hilbert chuckles and wiggles his hips a bit.
Please do~
But yeah, I haven't been to Orre period. Sounds pretty weird. Revolving bridges and all. Kinda heard that Orre was crap but obviously I don't know.

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>>9753965
Man if you were any more of a slut I'd accuse you of being a ditto.
>Desmond squints a bit.
Not that I think you're one, if you were I wouldn't care. Orre's a shithole, yeah. I'm sure I could pay for a gym to be built and they'd still fucking stiff me. "Sorry sir we need another 2 billion P."
Maybe over at Mt. Battle or something.

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>>9753880
Oh, Pokémon are as much of your friends as any human is. It's just important to remember that they have their own methods of communicating, so a friendly gesture from you may come across as one of aggression to them.
You raised him from a Rockruff, correct? It's unlikely that he will harm you if you look away. It's a dominance thing.
He's testing you.
Looking away likely won't do any harm to your relationship, but he may get a bit pushier, as you've granted him a certain degree of dominance over you.
>>9753835
(I'd be tempted to play a Pokémon from his team if I weren't already playing N and Anomalesia from the castle.)
(N probably won't assign him to combat at any point, since he signed up for castle upkeep.)
Colress is one of the Catalyst admins, although he is technically my equal on the command chain.
No, they'll track you down and sniff you eventually. It's best to get it out of the way when you first enter, as they're essentially the Castle guards. Being mistaken for an intruder would be a shame.

>>9754083
Yeah, had him for a few years, just recently got into the battling thing because he had a lot of pent up energy and I thought maybe letting him play rough a bit would let him meet some new pokes and give him some exercise.


Hey wait. I've been looking away a lot when I post these responses. Does that count or as a submissive action or is he not going to notice-ouerfonrjk vre gnjrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnrfrerg435555gretbbytybhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
>sounds of a room being trashed

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>>9754083
(That's fine. If he gets reassigned or quits you're free to hop in, or don't I'm not here to pressure anyone.)
Oh, I guess I'll have to meet him.
...Right, I'll probably have my Charizard out during that, not to fight, just, uh, because.
>Laugh awkwardly and try not to think about dying.
>Arrived in Opelucid City.
>Rolling to find the castle, can't be that hard?
>>9754165
UHHHH
WHERE ARE YOU?

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>pokes head in
Whomst-what's going on in here?

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>>9754073
>A mock scandalized gasp can be heard from Hilbert as he claps his hands over his heart.
You're so mean to me, Des.
Mt Battle? What is this like.... A Hoennese rip off of the Battle Tree?

>>9754186
If you want, one of us Grunts can meet you out front?
>>9754165
I'm, uh, going to guess 'yes'.
>>9754247
I may be welcoming a new co-worker, and some guy just got wrecked by his Lycanroc.

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>>9754165
.... do you need help? I can send someone over if necessary.
>>9754186
Well, they'll likely lick your Charizard too. He should be fine, they don't battle unless they think there's danger.

>>9754186
....
helo
i am teh am food gifer
evryfin is fyne
nite likeroc is best powkmon
day form is a bich

>>9754298
noffin c heer mowev all ong
nofin rekd
canrok is bes pomon

>>9754312
no help
i am tha foodgiver man
tank u cabbage man
lycanroc is bes pokmon and mosst smartierest

>>9754298
>some guy just got wrecked by his Lycanroc
As in, his own pokemon?

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>>9754298
...That works. I think I'm at the gate?
>>9754312
Yes, sir. Thank you.
>Attempt to keep anxiety down.
>Down pills.
>>9754338
...Uh.

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>>9754338
Mhmm.
So... how did he interpret you looking away?
>>9754362
I'll see you inside at some point.
Feel free to mingle with the grunts. They're all nice people.

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>>9754266
I try my hardest, can't let you get too self confident.
>Desmond chuckles.
Basically. If you win it ten or twenty times in a row apparently you get one of those Ho-Oh feathers.
I never bothered.

>>9754362
gib foods

>>9754384
am submesv
rock is bess al pa
traner nao

>screaming in the backround

gat to gho

>>9754350
It's more common than people like to admit. Sounds like a Midnight Lycanroc, and a Trainer in over his head.
>>9754413
And where are you exactly, so we can "gib foods"?
>>9754362
Cool. If you see a guy with a Vaporeon tailing him everywhere, that's probably me. See you soon.

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>>9754384
Alright, uh...
>Head on in, deep breaths, don't freak out.
>>9754413
Nnno.
>>9754436
See you soon.

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Tourism season is over and I sold 57 candles at a fairly hefty mark-up of 3000 Poké each.
I've got 171000 Poké right now, or what the humans would call it, "throwing around money".

>>9754452
Noooot really dude, 100 Poke is only worth 1 Unovabuck

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>>9754448
Hi! Are you the new guy who was asking how to get here from Pinwheel Forest?

>>9754462
That's still a good chunk of change. I wouldn't sneeze at having that much fun money.

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Midnight Roc here. Fresh evo. I think I fucked up. Slightly. Also why the fuck are human phones so fucking hard to type on what the fuck.

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>>9754462
Good thing I'm not in Unova then

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>>9754398
... man Des, you're taking up the entire couch. Fat ass.
>Hilbert stretches out along Desmond, using his shoulder as a pillow
Geez Des, that seems like it would've been an easy way to make cash.

>>9754553
>boop the airplane

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>>9754413
... well then.
>>9754521
Because they're designed for things with warm fingers.
Care to tell us what you did?

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>>9754559
Can't help that I got good genes. Jesus, Hilbs.
>Whatever, hug him, can't get any worse.
Eh, I earned a lot on my mining adventure. I could probably beat that place but, I dunno who I'd sell it to.

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>>9754563
Th-thanks, Anons.

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>>9754448
>The moment he steps inside the click of claws on stone can be heard, Anomalesia sliding to a halt a few feet away. Standing 7'07 at the shoulder he towers over everyone else in the area. The massive dog actually has to crouch to properly look at him.
HELLO??
YES???
DONT KNOW YOU??
NEW PERSON???

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>>9754483
New guy?
Where?
Gotta say hi

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>>9754483
>He nods, pulling out the dex and plugging the translator in to double check he can understand the pokemon.
Yes, uh, I'm Jack. Yyyyou, are?
>>9754639
>Oh fucking Arceus that's a huge dog.
J-j-jack?
>>9754649
>Rolling to keep composure.
Hello. That's me.

>>9754581
Uh. Right. So
>be me
>got decent foodgiver
>doesn't keep me in a ball, gives me lots of food
>lately we go do this battle thing
>fun and stuff idk
>boom, all the sudden I'm 2 feet taller and I wanna punch stuff
>trainer looks at me funny
>we get home, he keeps glancin' at me, I'm feelin, like, SUPER pumped from the evo
>still getting used to the new body, feel really strong and jittery now
>do the eye thing
>he looks back
>then he starts looking down
>confused_flareon.jpg
>do another stare
>he keeps looking away and getting really nervous
>like dude, I can smell that nervous juice from a mile away mf2
>he comes over, starts rubbin me up
>yboner.jpg
>keeps doing the flirty look away thing
>bonerpls.png
>has his head way down where I can see his neck
>BONERSTAHP.gif
>fuck it
>go for the pounce
>his phone flies out of his hand
>oshit.wav
>realize he wasn't being flirty
>fuckin retarded ass humans
There's now an unconscious foodgiver on the floor and I have a chub what do

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>>9754656
>Doggo #2: Bork Louder: Appear behind human.
>Sniff new human.
HELLO!

>>9754639
>>9754693
>pet odddoggos

>>9754682
you have paws that can grab things now, wank it out, and then fucking talk to your trainer when he wakes up

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>>9754656
>It should be noted that the large doggo is actually speaking English, albeit poorly. Jack soon finds a large dog about shoved against his chest, Anomalesia giving him a thorough sniffing.
HELLO??
YES???
JACK???
NEW GRUNT??
>>9754727
>Anomalesia makes an excited borking sound
PETS!!!!
LOVE PETS!!!!!

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>>9754656
I'm Sylvie.
>Poke Jack with a ribbon
Whya stuttering? Are you nervous?

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>>9754682
Well... either will away your erection or "rub it out", wake up your trainer, and discuss the matter with him.
Most humans don't understand Pokémon body language very well, so explaining it to him may help.
Were you actually looking to pursue sexual relations with your trainer?

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>>9754682
First, don't try to jump his bones right now.
Second, it might be good to get another human to look him over and make sure he's okay.
Finally, when he comes to, try to talk this whole thing out, including the fact that you were reading him as being flirty.

>>9754656
>A vaguely Kantonese-looking grunt [ignore the ginger pics lol] walks over.
"Hey there. Looks like I'm a bit late getting on the welcome wagon."
"Name's Frankie, good to meet you."
>>9754693
>>9754745
>Pat odd doggos.
"Easy, guys. Give the new guy some breathing room."

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>>9754693
>Jack jumps about a fucking foot into the air before landing and attempting to not curl up in the fetal position.
>Pet doggo instead.
I'm Jack, nice to meet you.
>>9754745
>Clench teeth.
>I hate Unova, I wish I was home, these dogs are going to eat me, my feet hurt.
Y-yeah, uh, I'm working for N, now.
>>9754749
>Confirming that he can at least partially understand the fairy dog unaided he unplugs the translator.
Sylvie, nice to meet you. Uh, I'm n-nervous around new people. Sorry.
>Very forced laugh.

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>>9754745
(*snout against his chest)
(Phoneposting is a bitch.)
>>9754598
I've seen your pants collection. Your jeans are terrible.
>He reaches and pokes his cheek, chuckling lightly.
Mining adventure? Do tell.

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>>9754742
Look, it's not my fault he was being lewd. How the fuck stupid do you have to be?
>Show neck
>Neck gets bit
>Don't attempt to get bite back
>Draw blood
>Still not trying to bite me back
Like. That's basically a marriage offer. Sorry for not being a fuckin' psychic type over here.

>>9754782
Uh... I mean. It looked like he was offering. Never actually thought about givin' him the red rocket before he got all flirty and shit. What am I gonna explain? "Yo, bro, sorry I tried to buttfuck you, I thought you were beggin' for the knotty D".

>>9754821
...Fuck that's a lotta shit.

>>9754821
(Sorry, goddamnit.)
>Jack is trying to handle all these goddamn doggos.
Nice to meet you, Frankie. Uh, Jack.
These dogs don't bite, do they?
-Jack "Anxiety" Parker

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>>9754834
If you get a fully evolved team I might put some skinny jeans on. Maybe.
>The tongue is stuck out before quickly being pulled in.
Basically went to Hoenn on my own to grab some expensive jewels and star pieces. Most of it was pretty good.
Fetched me a lot. Now I'm rich, kinda.

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>>9754836
I mean, shit checks out. Don't know what to tell ya bro, mixed signals are a bitch.

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>>9754823
HELLO??
YES???
WORK FOR FRIEND N??
MAKES YOU FRIEND AS WELL!!!
LIKE FRIENDS!!!
>His tail begins wagging rapidly
>>9754821
PATS!!!!!
LOVE PATS!!!
>An experimental lick is given to Jack before Anomalesia turns to Frankie, giving him the sniff treatment as well

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>>9754845
"Jack, welcome to the Castle."
>He chuckles.
"No, they don't bite. You might get licked a bit, though."
>>9754916
"Like so."
>Pat the fancy doggo.
"Easy, our new friend here's a little shook up, he's had a long day, okay?"
>>9754836
>>9754907
Human signals aren't quite the same.
Guy was probably panicking and thinking 'oh shit I'm gonna die'.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that stuff out.

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>>9754836
Tell him that you mistook his behavior for something that was flirty and responded appropriately.
You could also apologize for accidentally knocking him out.

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>>9754823
>Sylvie grins and pats his shoulder
You don't need to be sorry, humans are always cute when they act nervous.

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>>9754907
No shit bro.

>>9754939
...K. Would've been nice to know.

>>9754967
Oh. Uh. Yeah. Funny story. He wasn't really uh. Knocked out on the first go. And was screaming. So I tried to uh... Did you know Rock Tomb is super effective on humans? I'm... pretty sure he's still breathing. And I kinda... overdid it with the biting. A bit. He liked it. Probably.

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>>9754979
Humans are just cute period. Seeing the little hairless goofballs try to do things is adorable.

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>>9754916
Well, uh, it's good to be on your good side.
>He gives the doggo a cautionary chin scratch.
Is that alright?
>>9754939
Thanks, heh, uh, Frankie, do I get a room?
>>9754979
>A black book is retrieved from his jacket and a few of the pages are flipped through.
>He pauses, refrencing the words on the page before nodding.
Uh, not acting, sorry, Sylvie. Are you with Frankie, or are there other trainers here?

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>>9754893
I'm already half way there, Des. Not sure I wanna evolve Sliggoo though, Goodra doesn't work for my job.
>His fingers snap closed where Des' tongue was a moment too late
Damn, you win this round.
Rich? If you start bringing home a bunch of gold digging skanks I'm kicking you off the couch.

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>>9755030
Maybe acting was the wrong way to put it but yeah Frankie is my trainer.

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>>9755023
Ugh, rocks? Why would you ruin a perfectly good mating with rocks?

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>>9755040
Well you better pick up something to fill that slot or I'm not wearing those skinny jeans.
>He gives a small laugh.
Tried that, bitch tired to get me to pay for all of her shit so I cut her out. Figured actual gold digging would work better than that shit.

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>>9755023
.... well then.
Take him to the hospital, apologize for knocking him out when he wakes up, and then explain that his behavior registered as flirty and you acted appropriately.

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>>9755025
Fuckin' fact. Humans are the best pets. When they're not bein' FUCKIN TEASES.

>>9755058
Bro he was like fuckin' losin' his shit before I even got the tip in.

>>9755093
...Hospital. Right. That's uh... that's basically what a Pokecenter is right? Same thing, they just like. Put him in a ball. Right?

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>>9755030
"You sure do. I'll lead the way."
"Oh, and don't mind the rug. There's a funny story for later there."
>>9755057
"Sorry about being a little spacey recently, by the way."

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>>9754939
PATSPATSPATS!!!!
EASY??
WHATS AN EASY??
>>9755030
>The dogs tail begins to wag at Mach speeds.
PETS!!!!!!
PETS!!!
LOVE CHIN SCRATCHES!!
>He rubs his head against Jack's hand

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>>9755112
Oh good luck with the ball. Shit is complicated. Like how do the humans even hold them in one paw? Let alone get them to FUCKING WORK!? Personally I'd just Dig my way to the not-pokécenter and drag my human along with me. Much easier that way

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>>9755121
>Sylvie chuckles
Don't worry about it, I'd be spacey too if I didn't get any for a couple weeks.

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>>9755057
>The black book is referenced again.
...That's good to know, he seems nice.
>>9755121
Thank you, Frankie. Uh, N mentioned a Zekrom? Was that a joke or is that later?
>He follows after Frankie
>>9755141
Alright, calm down, big guy. Uh... You want to come to my room or something?
>>9755164
>He squints at the book, pulling out a pencil and scribbling in a few new notes.

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>>9755112
.... no. Pokeballs don't work on humans.
You'll have to carry him there, and they'll care for him and fix any damage manually.
You won't be allowed in the room until they've finished, most likely.
A word of advice: human asses can't handle a dick without preparation first. You'll kill him. Next time use a lubricant and stretch him out first.

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>>9755146
I... think it has something to do with the... the little toes on their front legs the fat ones on the ends

>>9755184
Just fuckin' kill me dude. Alright, fuckin, I guess I'm a goddamn ponyta now, what the fuck.

...okay so aside from the lube thing can I still do the marking thing with the bites or is he gonna die from that too?

Also how do I hide a dead half-eaten lilipup?

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>>9755092
... that Electrode. 4/6 fully evolved Des, you better be ready to squeeze your ass into those jeans.
>Hilbert rolls over so he can lightly tap Desmond on the nose
That's nice to hear. Three's a crowd , after all.
Hmmm.... does this mean you'll be my sugar daddy?

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>>9755164
"Thanks for being so underst- heeey, no airing the dirty laundry in front of the new guy."
>Frankie signs, and laughs.
>>9755178
"He wasn't joking, but I doubt you'll get an intense mind-screwing. Just making sure you're not an axe murderer, basically. Chances are you'll barely feel a thing."

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>>9755233
You eat the other half silly, what kind of question is that?

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>>9755233
You are capable of bipedal motion now, if you want to carry him in your arms it would be fairly easy.
The marking should be fine as long as you aren't too rough. We humans mark each other with bites too.
As for the Lillipup.... I would suggest disposing of it by burying it.

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>>9755234
Might be, we'll see.
>He chuckles.
Yeah, fuckin' bitch was psycho. Maybe if you agree to be my partner in crime and bail my ass out of bad situations.

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>>9755178
Calm??
Yes!!!
Do the calm thing!!!
Hello??
Yes??
Go to room??
Okay!!
Help keep room safe for friend!!

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>>9755164
Tell me about it
>>9755178
Ooh a notebook
Neat
Also the rug in your room's nice as heck
>>9755241
The look on his face when he saw that one thing though
Oh my gosh that was scary but funny

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>>9755261
I'm full though. And the prick wouldn't eat it with me. I wanted to Lady and the Tramp that shit.

>>9755264
Oh. OH. Holy shit. I got the... the arm things. And they're like full on arm things. Sweet. How rough is too rough anyway?

>roll for travel time

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>>9755241
Really hope not.
>There's another awkward laugh.
...Which one is my room?
>>9755301
Does, uh...
>He gives the disc on the side of his head a light tap.
What's this?
>>9755310
>The notebook is squinted at, a few pages are flipped through.
I keep pokemon speech notes in here. Are those the rugs Frankie was talking about?

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>>9755241
Hehe
>>9755310
Oh that's right you weren't able to return all the rugs were you?

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>>9755270
Awww, are you proposing?
How sweet.
I'd be your partner in crime even without the possibility of being spoiled, way to sweeten the deal.

Roll for ideas
1-3ñada
4-6newfag
7-9oldfag
0rip
Dubs next post is inspiration

>>9755402
(Could always pick up a pokemon for the jack guy)

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Is this the pokemon sex thread

>>9755429
Oui

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>>9755352
>Frankie opens one of the doors.
>There's a nice-looking rug on the floor, which is good given that it's a stone floor.
"Right here. I'm two doors to the left, feel free to knock anytime."
>>9755379
Sylvie, you goof.
>>9755310
Okay, I must have missed that somehow.

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>>9755312
... I don't think I'm a good person to ask about the limits of roughness, considering the bite scars on my neck.
Most humans won't appreciate a full on bite. A light nip that barely breaks the skin will likely be he most you can get away with, but you should discuss it with your trainer and find out his limits.

>>9755419
¿Quien es el hombre jack?
>>9755429
I mean, it is now.

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>>9755391
Definitely. You better know I have damn expensive tastes. Gotta propose to me with Scizorite or something.
Won't take it if it isn't steel based.

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>>9755442
>>9755456
Sexcellent.

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Okay, good news, the foodgiver isn't dead. Bad news, I kinda... broke his ribs. And his leg. And collar bone. Still his fault.

>>9755451
...If it's not going to leave a scar how will other pokemon know I own him? Like. The fuck am I even doing at that point. Just getting blood everywhere. Not even in like. A fuckin fun way man.

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>>9755474
U lettin him know that he be your bitch. Common man, this is like mating 101.

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>>9755352
Memories!!
Change type!!!
I show you!!!
>There's a clicking sound an a huff of steam as the memory switches, Anomalesia's head crest and tail changing from pink to a light blue
Dragon Anomalesia!!

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>>9755379
Three stayed
"We got one for our room"
"One's saved for N if he wants it"
"And the third's in here"
>>9755352
"Yep"
"A surprise gift that kinda"
"Went oops"
>>9755474
Thats gonna take weeks to fix
No rough sex until then
Sorry friend
>>9755451
Hey we have a rug saved if you want one
Its the nicest one I promise

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>>9755472

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>>9755474
They'll smell you on him, see the scratches and bites, and they'll see the way he acts around you. If that isn't claimed I'm not sure what would be.
It'll scar, you just won't be leaving a deep and potentially dangerous wound.
If you really want it to scar you can reopen the wound everytime you two go at it.
>>9755498
Alright, I'll pick it up tomorrow morning.
Thank you, Vapey.

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>>9755491
Woah. That's really cool.
>He pets the dog.
Keep up the good work, big guy. Uh, you can stay in my room if you want? Uh, if N would be okay with that, I don't want to piss him off.
>>9755498
Heh. Be more careful.
>>9755446
Alright, uh, tell N I've arrived and I can do the brain scan thing in the morning. Right now I need some sleep.
Thanks, Frankie.
>Jack heads into his room to refine his notes.
>Goodnight, PAR.

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>>9755499

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>>9755484
That's what the fuckin' scars are for. Make him walk away with a souvenir. But apparently that's bad. For some reason. What the hell. Humans are stupid.

>>9755498
Sssshiiiiit.

>>9755518
>the edgy dog is breathing heavily
You are... a very nice human.

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>>9755464
If I'm going steel based I'm going all the way and giving you a Steelixite.
Not that I know where to get one, but still.
Obviously I'll have to rob Flare while you nap.

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>>9755538
>>9755518
This human be open. am not of the used to human be of the understand. He is doin me a suprise. A sexy tantalizing suprise.
>>9755518
Tell me human, what is your stance of the foodgiving? Can legend receive of the food-pets?

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>>9755531
Box of Pokejizz

>>9755591
(I'm trying to simulate the character's speech breaking down as they get exited/interested/aroused not sure how well that was convayed, feels like it reads as someone who just can't type a consistent dialogue style.)

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>>9755523
"Alright. See you later, man."
>Frankie: head off to your room and narco while still in uniform

skitts leaves gladi for doggos when

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>>9755518
You're welcome
I think i need sleep though
>>9755523
Will do
>>9755538
He's not dead and thats the important thing
>>9755623
( It's cool, yo. Thanks for the heads-up. )

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>>9755593

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>>9755623
(You're fine man, reads alright to me.)
>>9755591
Of course, Pokémon are welcome to visit me whenever they wish, and I have enough food here to feed you as well.
>>9755664
Good night, Vapey.
>>9755538
Thank you, I try.
Gladion hasn't had the chance to bite me recently, unfortunately, but I still remember enough to give good advice on the subject.
>>9755663
(Never? I love Gladi dude, poly or nothing.)

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>>9755591
...The leafy foodgiver is pretty fuckin' cute.

>>9755664
Nope. Just maimed. Slightly. Fuck it, he looks better like this.

>>9755705
...If I didn't already have a foodgiver to finish breaking in I would be kicking down your door.

>>9755623
(i assumed, yeah)

>>9755751
(Suggest staying away from lettuce unless you wanna get stabbed.)

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>>9755782
>growls
No! Mint human mine. Is of friendly and sexy and good and mine. You no stab, you is of go away. Mint human much mine. Many good.

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>>9755782
(Gladion's curling iron murders were vs N imposters and characters that actually hurt N. Trying to seduce him is fine, and iirc Gladion suggested a three way between them and the Gladion-Ditto.)
>>9755751
You do realize there are Salazzles in Alola who hoard humans, correct?

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>>9755849
>razzle senses tingling
You rang?

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>>9755782
(...worth it for lewd bites and tetraphilia)

>>9755841
Fuckin'. Yeah. That shit.

>>9755849
Huh...I'm Alolan. That's basically the same thing. Wanna get hoarded?~

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>>9755882
Leave this one to the professionals pup.
Sex magic is not a young mons game. This craft takes dedication and practice.

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>>9755878
... no, but I suppose you can help these two figure things out.
>>9755882
I'm already claimed, but I'm sure something can be figured out.
I won't be going anywhere anytime soon, so feel free to come visit whenever you want.

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>>9755907
Dude. Fuckin'. You don't need magic to mark your property. I got fangs for a reason.

>>9755949
Awww. Someone's a lucky fucker. If you're ever in Alola look me up. I'm stuck here for a while. Until I get my pet reined in.

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>>9755949
I'll get right on it honey.
>>9755841
>>9755976
I understand you boys are feeling a bit pent up? Hmm? Now let's see what I can do about that, shall we?
>pheromones.exe
>would_you_like_to_play_a_game.jpg

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>>9755976
If you're from Alola you've probably at least heard of my husband. Gladion, if the name rings any bells.
Remember, licking the wounds after you make them cleans up the mess and makes your human trust you more.

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>>9756027
...Bitch.
>red rocket: is rocketing

>>9756031
...Just the wounds or can I go for the blood too? I mean, like, I'm not gonna rip him up. Much.

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>>9756027
>be me
>dog
>big dog
>big dog nose
>see purple shit
>purple shit a sniff
>red rocket reporting for duty
>record scratch
Ruh?

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>>9756072
>>9756081
There's a good puppy...
Alright now, fetch!
(Ooc:
>tfw the logical continuation to an attempt to delwed the thread turns into open erp

Wheredidigowrong.jpg
)

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>>9756072
Obviously you would be cleaning him off. Post coitus grooming, lick off the blood and whatnot.

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>>9756137
...I hate you.
>be the good puppy
>fetch own bone
(OOC: I was just gonna be the suggestive doggo then go to bed, but now you're getting dog blowjobs. If the arcanine wants to go full lewd there will be buttfucking. And it will be your fault. Ironic.)

>>9756174
Huh. Sounds fun.
>he says through a mouth full dripping dark doggo dicc

>>9756081
>Stare

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>>9756193
I would assume so. Humans don't groom each other, so I wouldn't know.
Are you having fun with the Salazzle?
I asked her to go help you two.

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>>9756193
But you see

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>>9756265
I am the arcanine

>>9756274
>>9756265
Ooc after the fact

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>>9756193
>>9756081
>>9756072
What's uh... going on in here?
>>9756274
(What a twist)

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>>9756260
>not~werewolf: is currently slurping on it's own dick like some kind of weird lewd ouroboros
Shur. Leesh go whih that

>>9756265
>>9756274
>tail: be wagging
Fhawk. Shouldda seen that cumming.

>>9756297
...Hi

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>>9756308
Oh honey, the fun has just begun.
Oh, and speaking of beginnings,
>>9756297
Hello there whiskers, how kind of you to join in.
>ain't no party like a magic pheromone party cuz a magic pheromone party don't stop

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>>9756308
Does it feel good doing that to yourself?
>>9756357
J-join in?

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>>9756389
Oh darling, as if that was ever a question. Now, my little ray of sunshine, the only real question left, is How Do You Want It

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>>9756357
Im ghonna bury in you sand

>>9756389
...Maybe.
>tail: is wagging at mach speeds
>doggo: is about to cum in own mouth

>>9756400
(I can't stop, I've been trying to go to sleep but this Salazzle writes itself)

I demand everyone currently role playing to
*Cough*
Go the fuck to sleep

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>>9756404
Oh, you are going to bury something, that's for sure. But, do you really want to bury me, or do you want to be buried IN me?
>turn_it_up_to_eleven.jpg

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>>9756431
Ay ay captn o7

>>9756431
I demand the exact opposite of this

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Slooty Mc-smutface signing off.
May arceus have mercy on our souls.

>>9756440
>>9756455
Go
The
Fuck
To
Sleep

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>Edgy Doggo: cum in own mouth and pass out
>develop hate for lizards

>>9756469
Never

>>9756486
GOOOOOO

>>9756515
Nah senpai

>>9756542
Bones go to bed

>>9756576
You can't make me

>>9756597
I can if I try hard enough.

>>9756604
>Press X to doubt

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Morning guys
>yawn

>>9757391
morn

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Roll for social interaction

>>9757391
(Hey I wanted to say sorry for shitposting you. Hope you have fun. If I can ask one thing, can you let that shit thread die and add Turts on discord or something? Either way sorry.)
>>9758365
(Most people are asleep, senpai'ly. Are you the same guy that picked up one of Quincy's pokes?)

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>>9758408
(I'm a phone poster, and horrible with names, so I'm not sure who Quincy is, but probably no. My contributions to this particular thread where the Bad Advice Arcanine, and the return my ic who I have somehow put the most work into: the slooty Salazzle. I'm ashamed to say I think it was some of the best rp I have ever done.

>>9758431
(...Oathkeeper?)

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>>9758408
Continuation of >>9758431
(The thread kinda went in a weird direction last night, makes for an interesting read though, least I hope It does.)

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>>9758441
You rang boss?

>>9758448
(Sorry man, glad to know you didn't get run off forever, but your trainer isn't RPing anymore)

>>9758431
>>9758443
>>9758448
(Yep that's the poke. You're doing good work anon. Most people are asleep or waking up, though. I suggest doing some stuff on your own or waiting for a few people to get online.)

>>9758460
(Ive decided it's easier and much more fun to just slowly develop a menagerie of one-off shitpost mons, and then bring them back whenever I'm on and they are relevant. It's scalable, doesn't require me to always be on, and so far, it's been a blast. Also going this route means if I ever try a mom who crashes and burns
>it wasn't me and you can't tell me otherwise
I've moved on from minmaxing the to battles, to minmaxing the rp, it's good to be back.)

>>9758463
Honestly, thank you. It's strange, but hearing that someone appreciated that made me happy.

>>9758408
(It's all good, broski. We can be friendies.)

>>9758526
(Not a problem dude keep having fun.)
>>9758564
(Thanks, uh, we aren't going to try and lolkill u or anything. Honestly that was a fucking stupid reaction from all of us. Have fun.)

PAR what's a good poke to start with?

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>>9758727
Totodile.

>>9758564
(Welcome back)

>>9758727
Any type in mind?

>>9758749
Really?
>>9758983
Water or steel I guess.