ITT: Pokemon are real - AKA the Pokemon Roleplaying General.

>>9340780
In sexy maid outfits

>>9340780
yes

>>9340773
Something that resists Ground, maybe Flying or something with Levitate..

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>>9340592
>Sneasel sounds

>>9340741
Specifically dragons. They get messy with their food.

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>>9340780
I put a pretty bow on my pumpkaboo. She squeaks.

>>9340741
Lunala. He's got these big pretty eyes and he's really... unf~

>>9340752
>nervous squint
...Are we talking about the same cult here ooor...?

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>>9340752
GAH!
>>9340780
>Quincy pulls out his Dex and realizes he has signal.
I've got a saddle and saddlebags for when I need to ride my Pokemon.
On another note, I just fought Kyurem and won, does he always hang out in the area north of Johto?
...Does anyone even know anything about this area?

>>9340822
>NIGGERS NIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERS
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Not this shit again.

>>9340742
FUCK OFF TURTS REEE

>>9340780
Not currently, but perhaps I should consider it.

>>9340752
Once I have begun my work, I would gladly accept your aid.
I assure you, I won't send you on missions which have a high fatality chance.
Those are reserved for the rank and file, for my true and vengeful task will require blood to be shed, and blood to be sacrificed.

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>>9340741
One shot from that legendary, and anyone here would be dead.
I'm not that bad off in accuracy. Just overconfident.

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>>9340825
Cute.
>>9340840
Nope. Mine loved blood.
They're where I got my Aegislash from.
>>9340841
Floof.
>>9340850
Alright. Hit me up man, I run monotype ghost and float around the 70s.
Plus I can hold my own decently sooo. Yeah.
Actually I might have a friend I can set you up with too... Gotta call them up again though.

>>9340917
You got any connections on the other side?
My motivation is vengeance, but I'm still trying to piece together who killed my grandfather.
The police didn't even try to investigate, the useless cunts.

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>>9340917
Oh, no hanging around old tombs and trying to scare off ghosts? Okay cool, two different cultists.

>>9340841
I got nothin'

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>>9340840
You're letting out way too much body heat like that, you're gonna freeze even with your Lamp at this rate.
>>9340902
We'll work on that, I guess.
>>9340917
No floof.

>The group finally reaches Pillar Town, where it's primary feature is easily visible: sixteen large pillars, surrounding a seventeenth, each with a statue of Arceus at it's top, and large enough to live in.

I love this place, come on, I made a livable space in the central pillar!

>>9340841
>Does anyone even know anything about this area
I do! It's the area between Sinnoh and Johto, very cold and snowy. Is home to a ruin known as the SinJoh Ruins

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>>9340945
...I mean Giratina is sort of following me around. I'm sure I could get him to tell you if I ask. But, really, uh, I could probably use my Dusknoir for a divining or commune ritual when we meet up in person.

How's that sound? Free, obviously, I don't charge when people want to talk to their own family members. My friend Cam might be slightly better at it than I.
>>9340975
Well my group might end up hunting me down. So... That might be a problem in the future if we go back to Johto.
>>9341020
Floof.
Hey nice place.
>Mort follows after Quincy.

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>>9340841
It's cold. There's your free info of the day.

>>9340917
thank.

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>>9341020
>snuggle up to dizzy lamp
Hey, he's doing just fine. Leave me and my fantasies about my future husband alone.

>>9341037
Oh. Mine just wants to like. Steal my pokes and throw me down a hill or something.

>>9341076
Shit, it's cold? Never woulda guessed

>>9341037
Deal.
If I can get a lead, however slim...
For the chance to avenge my grandfather, I'd savor a hundred death rattles like his old records. He did so love music.

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>>9341030
... Alright, all of that is accurate, but I was hoping someone else had explored the Sinjoh region proper instead of just that one cavern that I've seen some people visit.
>>9341037
It's not floofy, it's spiky!
>He leads them through the relatively small town, and through a stone door that requires Zem's strength to open, into a large, circular room, with a staircase leading up on the left side
>More importantly, a large fireplace is situated in the center of the room, an iron pillar around it serving as the chimney, and several makeshift bedrolls around it, mostly made from what looks like Pokemon furs
This place has basically been my home for the past year. Pix, light the fire would you?
>He unstraps the saddle from the Arcanine, and the huge doggo quickly gets the prepared wood in the fireplace lit
Grab a mat, I guess.

>>9341076
Alright, thanks, never would have guessed.

>>9341102
Future husband? Nevermind, don't wanna know.

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>>9341076
>Pet a catte.
>>9341102
Damn, we've got different problems.
You don't have any problems with murder, do you?
>>9341159
Alright. You get your stuff set up, I'll try to get over there soonish?
>>9341176
Huh, pretty comfy.
>Mort flops on a mat.
>CLANK.
Yep.

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>>9341102
I know, right? Hard to notice.

>>9341176
You are very much welcome.
The next ones 19.99 unovan.

>>9341194
>Poke a hoomon

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>>9341176
>ruffle hair
You can judge my ships when you learn to use shampoo.

>>9341194
I'm not hanging out with a bunch of dead guys because I'm a nice person.

>>9341228
Deepest lore.

>>9341176
You would be very hard pressed to actually attempt a major exploration of the area without major back-up and large sums of money, the permanent freezing temperatures combined with constant snowstorms makes for some of the most treacherous exploration in the world. It was a wonder the Sinjoh ruins were uncovered at all.

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>>9341176
>Walks over to one of the bedrolls
I'm gonna take a nap
>Curls up on it, and goes to sleep

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>>9341263
You say that and yet here I am sitting in one of it's abandoned cities, eating a piece of jerky while cuddled up against my Arcanine, would you like pictures as proof?
>>9341194
Alright, cool, jerky?
>Quincy offers a stick to the other edgelord
>>9341228
Yeah no, that's a rip off.
>>9341261
Hey! Staph!
>Surprisingly his hair is actually not a greasy mess, and is quite soft, arceus knows how the guy takes care of it.

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>>9341228
Thanks for saving our butts, by the way.
>>9341261
Welp.
Murder might need to happen if they track me to Sinnoh.
>>9341309
>Mort snags it and shoves it in his helmet.
>Mort pushes the still warm teapot over.
Quin. What are your feelings on murdering humans?

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>>9341309
Okay have fun being eaten by Grus then.

>>9341261
Deeper than that trench with the gay kaiju.

>>9341343
You're welcome!
Can't stand those snowmen, making us Ice types look bad with their near endless lists of weaknesses.

>>9341309
Sure, photos would be lovely

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If any of you have an ISO standard cargo container of coffee for sale, I'm listening.

>>9340780
I do not, but maybe. Jay enjoys his choice scarf.

>>9341176
I sent a group of explorers down there a month or two ago, when a secret passage was accidentally found there.
They found a shitton of Unowns and the area was messing up the group's Psychic, can't say much else.

>>9341194
We're beginning in Couriway.
From there, expansion should be fairly rapid - I intend to exploit current political tensions to attract people. Would a "humanity first" reactionary theology be too crass? I'm looking to attract persons capable of subtlety but without a strong aversion to violence.

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>>9341309
Fiiiine
>flop on the ground
>snuggle your pile of spooky objects

>>9341343
Huh. Wonder if Lamp can still do that one thing....

>>9341376
Uhh... what was that called? Unova Rim? Arceus-Zilla?

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>>9341391
>Quincy has a LOT of pictures on his Dex, so he grabs his favorite: a picture of him and his team in front of an enormous mural of Arceus, presumably in the act of creating the world.

>>9341399
That explains that weird scraping on the floor I found when I was coming back through. Haven't seen any Unown back there though, probably got cleared out.
>>9341343

>Sip tea
Uh... Could we not?

>>9341376
Grues hate light, we're fine.

>>9341416
Thanks, I would like to not go bald because people keep ruffling my hair.

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>>9341376
Best cat.
>>9341407
I think "humanity first" would work great. I know a guy who can get you some nice stuff until I get up there.
You have an HQ?
>Mort: Message buddy.
>>9341416
Oooh~?
Do tell.
>>9341480
Just saying, hypothetically, if any dudes in red robes appear and ask for me.
Run.

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>>9340780
Not often, but, like, occasionally.
>>9341399
Sup, bro. 'Chu doing OK? Well, OK'ish?
John's still kinda sick.

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>>9341480
Nooo, no, not Grues, Grus.
Totally different.

>>9341416
No idea, I just heard about it from some birds.

>>9341501
Yep, that's me. Best cat in Sinjoh.

Hey.
Psychic type here.
I...found this really creepy island while out boating with friends.
It seems to be mostly empty, but...I can hear these constant weird whispers and faint voices everywhere I go on the island. I asked, and none of my friends can hear them.
Am I just going crazy or something?

>>9341501
A single house does not a headquarters make, so no.
We can work on that, ideally.

>>9341480
...That makes me want to ruffle it more

>>9341501
Uhhh... apparently it can go boom. Like. Big boom. Might kill us all though. Slight chance of vaporizing a city.

>>9341553
Huh. Whatever, maybe i'll find it in a video store when we get someplace that isn't a frozen s hithole

>>9341558
You're on citadark island, get the fuck out

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>>9341569
(DRINK)

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>>9341558
Let me guess, somewhat close to Johto. Stay away from there, don't even try to sleep there.

>>9341540
No I am not okay.
>If odds: pass out

>>9341480
Cool pictures

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>>9341558
Psychic-type here.
Trust 'chur gut and get out. I've been in a place like that before, even a tough Psych will break in there after a while.
>>9341615
>Poke nerd
>Attempt to drag nerd into not-neck-cramping sleeping position
>Flop back against nerd
>Shitpost on 'dex

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>>9341558
If you see nice men in white armor with red scarves ask to take you inside a building, listen to them.
Don't worry about the whispers and faint voices, if you're where I think you are that's normal.

>>9341588
Literally nothing wrong with Citadark. Everyone's just scared because of the name.

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>>9341566
Alright. He's kind of a freak about berries. I'm sure he could provide you guys with some berries and some bugs and grass types.
He sound helpful? He's Kalos centered so he'd be a good ally. Try not to get him killed before he reaches his goal of becoming a pokeglot and owning a farm, alright?
>>9341569
That sounds fucking amazing.
Let's do it some time.

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>>9341569
Oughta be a good watch, heard they fugged at some point.

>>9341588
Wait, what?

>>9341615
>>9341653
I think it is near Johto...
Wait, what's wrong with this place?
Why am I in danger?

>>9341716
It's mental whispering and stuff. Like faint voices in your head.
I don't see any people...

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>>9341622
Thanks. I've spent the last year or so up here, and quite frankly the closest comparison to this society is... Ransei, it's really, really old and the Arceus worship is EVERYWHERE. I'm probably wrong, I'm not an archeology guy, but that's what I've seen. Every town except... well, one, is covered in religious worship stuff, statues, engravings, we actually found some scrolls and a book too, gonna get that checked out when we reach Sinnoh.

>Quincy finishes his cup of tea and relaxes against Pixel, summoning all his other Pokemon, who seem glad to be "home" and quickly arrange into a cuddle pile.
>Alexa grins at the Snea, teasing it silently by pointing at her own headress.

>>9341501
Gotcha, alright. Thanks for the tea.

>>9341553
Alright, suuuure.

>>9341569
Do not.

>>9341737
Hmm.
I have strong, yet mixed feelings. On the one hand, I feel reluctant to involve this gentleman in what may become a blood-drenched endeavor as he is a friend of yours.
On the other, he would be of great use to said endeavor.
I'll try not to involve him in anything directly incriminating.

>>9341796
>Fuck I meant two cuddle piles, the ground types are in a bromance and don't like getting dirt on everything so they stay away

>>9341796
That sounds quite impressive, if you find out anything interesting about those scrolls and the book, let us know.

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>>9341769
Johto, huh?
Well that's not Citadark then.
I've never been to Johto so I don't know where you are, sorry.
Stay safe, wherever you are.

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>>9341737
Sure, might as well. I got nothin' better to do.

>>9341759
Nice.

>>9341796
Whiney.
>lay back
>attempt to slep

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>>9341769
Uh, if it's where I was, and it sounds like it is?
Yeah, bro. Like, 'chu're all in danger there. Lots of Unowns, not a lot of food, and, like... I'm a tough psych, and I've seen some shit. I lasted only a few days before I had to bail or, like, go totally insane. 'Chu'll feel better once 'chu get out, though, if 'chu don't stick there long.

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>>9341796
Bam.
Also they like to use the ghost swords so. Fire type at the ready.
>>9341810
Alright, I'll have him contact you tomorrow if you can give me a place to send him?
(Someone else might pick this guy up if they agree to it? Soooo, we'll see. If you think this'll be a problem tell me now.)
>>9341769
...Johto?
Where, why, what, how?
>>9341897
Hell yeah.
>Mort: Probably pass out, but note down what cultguy says if he says anything.

>>9341891
Thanks, I suppose.

>>9341898
Heavily forested?
Weird rocks everywhere?
Movement from the corner of your eye?
Either way, I'm bailing from this place.

>>9341924
It's this little island somewhere near Johto. Found it while sailing.
Lots of trees, and weird rocks and stuff.

>>9341924
Excellent. This may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
(Cultguy, OOC, is motivated by revenge. He knows his grandpa was killed, but not the who or why. Finding those facts will fundamentally alter the course of his arc, depending on which he learns first. )

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>>9341863
Thanks, alright, I'll see what I can do, but... when you say "us" who do you mean?

>>9341897
I would like to keep my hair, what would you say if you went bald!?

>>9341924
Fun, I'll keep that in mind.

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>Everyone going to bed
>Heck who am I gonna be leeching warmth from
>Decisions decisions..

>>9341897
Ye.
>Curl up by spooky lady and do a snooze.

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>>9342050
>Quincy passes the fuck out

>>9343091
(Unless your bumping the thread. Don't expect anyone to be on.)

Quincy/Hex OTP

Guys, Solosis has been staring at a lava lamp for the past 20 minutes I'm getting worried

>>9344946
Dude are you saying that you've never stared at a lava lamp for an hour straight? Did you not have a childhood!?

>>9344946
Let it meditate.

>>9341796
Holy shit, really? Dude, that sounds fucking brutal!

(Imo, par should take a break for at the very least a week as long as Skitts is banned. Also bump.)

>>9344297
Quincy/Mort is the real OTP!

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>slither slither
>seaweed sounds

>>9344946
I'll take that lava lamp for 500P.

>>9345558
(Today he will be able to appeal, and there a few other plans in case thst does not work)
(Most plots were put on hiatus as well, since last Friday)

>>9345705
(Alright, what ever you say.)

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>Quincy wakes up, stretching with his Doublade in his hands

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>>9345816
>ruffle hair

>>9343091
>pet

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>>9345828
GAH! WHY!?

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>>9345916
>pet the pumpkin
>try to look classy thumbing through your trashy light novels
It amused me.

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>>9345934
...Is that what I think it is? Holy shit I haven't seen a Kantonian light novel in years!

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>>9346047
Duuuude. I got a whole wagon full of ecchi back in Alola. Spent like, 5000P importing Steel-Type Moon.

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>>9346088
Arceus' wheel, seriously!?
>He groans
I need to get caught up on so much...

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>>9346111
>a vague sense of dread
Yeah, you probably missed a lot in a year. Too bad, some of that shit was pretty metal.

Daily reminder that there is not now nor has there ever been a mewtwo in Kalos and humans need to die.

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>>9346150
Well, I guess that's what I'll be doing in my off time, maybe after I get done with the League.
>Quincy fiddles with the Doublade in his hands, adjusting his grip on the Keyblades habitually
...You know anything about the Sinnoh League?
Actually, maybe you know something about...
>He pulls the Azure Flute out of a pocket of his coat
This? A Solrock said it was something to do with Arceus, but, I'd like some more details of I can get them.

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>>9346362
What is it, some kinda artifact? Uhh.... hell, it'd be nice if I had my books right now. My wagon's back in Alola with Acerola.

Based on what I can say right now it's uh... got some kinda ritual significance. And some weird energy behind it. Somethings not right about it though. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong person, I dunno. That's all I can make out without having my archives back.

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>>9346431
...Tell me now, how bad would it be if I tried playing this?

>>9346342
Rude af

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>>9346342
I resent the second part of that.

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>>9346446
I dunno. Have you ever had any lessons?

As a personal rule, I try not to go shoving ancient artifacts in my mouth. Especially weird glowy blue ones. Like I said, I can check it out better when I get my stuff back or we run into down the sassy child.

>>9346449
You know what's really rude? Someone breaking into your meditation chamber and trying to shove you in a ball.

>>9346462
I resent being shoved in a test tube.

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>>9346475
Alright, fair enough, probably a bad idea.
It's weird though, I've never touched a musical instrument in my life, but with this thing it's like... guiding me, like, my hands want to take a certain position.

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>>9346475
>smooch the hex

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>>9346541
Be careful with that kind of thing. Make sure your possessions don't posses you. If it's influincing you that much it might be cur-

>>9346547
...Hi.

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>>9346503
Alright, I see where this is going.
No matter what I say I'm terrible and should die because I'm a human, right?
Look, I didn't put you in a test tube or try to catch you in a ball and neither did most humans, so maybe drop the attitude and focus on the people that actually did that stuff to you?

>>9346562
No, you just let it happen. Good job, slaver. Your conscience can stay clean clean because you're a apathetic failure. Yay for you.

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>>9346579
Fantastic, good to see I read you right then.
Hey how about I take you out on a date, I'm sure the desert in Orre will cheer you right up.

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>>9346557
hello
you seem nice
>smooch

>>9346622
I... wait what. That's... I... what. Either you're impossibly stupid or you think I am.

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>>9346557
Nah, it's more like a mental instruction manual, I don't have to do what it's saying, but like, if I had to guess it's a guide to play whatever song I'm supposed to play to do... something.
>Quincy tucks the Flute back into his coat
Right, well, I guess I should figure out if we want to keep going to Sinnoh or take a detour to see the only city in this region that isn't covered in Arceus.

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>>9346643
I can't quite tell if you're really flustered or if you're just really confused.
Surely a powerful Pokemon such as yourself can't be afraid of a lone human, what could I ever do to harm you?

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>>9346695
Alright, I'm behind you. Lamp, grab Mort and the frozen feline, we're moving out soon.

>>9346700
First of all, I didn't say I'm a Pokemon. Secondly, do you honestly think I'd trust a human? Lies and murder is all you monsters are good for. You've probably got 40 snag machines and an ultraball with my name on it.

Nothing short of Palkia dropping 50 Spiritombs on my head would ever convince me to go with you, degenerate.

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>>9346724
>Poke a hoomon
Where we headed?

>>9346762
well
if you are not a pokemon
and you are not a human
so what are you?

>>9346799
More than all of you could ever be.

>>9346806
An egotistical asshole, got it.

>>9346806
a bit of a superiority complex huh
if you act like that you won't make friends

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>>9346762
First of all, lets be honest here, you're a Pokemon.
No point even pretending otherwise, it's painfully obvious.

Secondly, not really no. You seem pretty stubborn in your delusions that all humans are evil.

Thirdly, why would I have 40 snag machines, surely I'd only have one if that was my intention.

Fourthly, Snag Machines aren't a thing anymore, aside from that one prototype over in that lab.

Fifthly, don't tempt him.

>>9346815
Scorn is the first defense of the weak when confronted with their own imperfection.

>>9346824
If your idea of frendship involves being enslaved and used as a BOW, then I'm quite happy being a misanthrope.

>>9346827
...
In order, I am a superior lifeform to all of you wretches, and will not allow myself to be classified with the inbred dregs you freaks force to mate for your own amusement. Secondly, my delusions are fact. Humans exist only to rape and destroy. Thirdly, redundancy, although I suppose that word might be a bit too big for you to understand. Fourth... they aren't? Hm. Guess I've been in this cave longer than I thought. And fifthly.... good point.

>>9346875
>Guess I've been in this cave longer than I thought.
>Talks about humans force breeding for their amusement
I think your just mad cause you are still a sad virgin

>>9346875
Spoontwo is so much better than you.

>>9346875
Being a slave?
What so you mean by that?
Is that what the humans do?
And why can't i be your friend,

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>>9346724
Alright then, it'll be a day or two out of the way.
>>9346798
Distortion City.

>>9346875
You seem to bein dire needof therapy. Or getting laid, either of.

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>>9346798
No idea, I'm just following the Honedge lord with the bad hair.

>>9346933
Oh boy. Sounds lovely.

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>>9346952
>Jumps on hex's shoulder
>accommodates on her hides a little on her hair

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Oh, oka-

>>9346933
oh.
..Call me crazy but that doesn't exactly sound like a nice place.

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>>9346875
Good to see you can keep things in order, maybe you can apply that to your mental state so we can all get along.

Sure buddy, you keep thinking that. I'm sure maybe someday someone will take you seriously.

Delusions are actually not fact, that's why they're delusions. You're not as smart as you think you are, huh?

I suppose that's a fair point, although 40 seems a bit excessive. Maybe I'd bring along a spare just in case if we're assuming that scenario was going to play out.

Nope, all gone. Cipher and Snagem bit the dust too, Orre's been clear of all that shit for a while now.

>>9346947
I'll see what I can do anon, don't worry.

>>9346919
...That is a cheap shot, though I suppose it's the only one you can afford.

>>9346928
...What the hell is a spoo-ntoo?

>>9346930
Slavery is the primary manner in which humans have progressed to their current, still pathetically lacking, state. I want no part of it. And no, no you cannot.

>>9346947
Your fixation on sexual intercourse is proof of your species degeneracy.

>>9346991
They... what? ...What about Rocket?

>>9346933
>Distortion City.
Sounds cash af

>>9346996
You, but better.

>>9346996
>Avoids topic about being sexless
>Calls the other anon and human race degenerate for thinking about it
Yep, a virgin.

>>9346996
But why i can't *sniff* i'm not mean
>the pokemon starts crying (not going to pick a pokemon yet because it will be interesting like that)
D-did i make you angry
i'm sorry if i did

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>>9346952
Depends on if by "lovely" you mean "Someone clearly pissed Giratina off and instead of just dragging him to the distortion world, he brought the distortion world to him"
>>9346986
It's... actually pretty peaceful, during the day anyway.

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>>9346996
They're gone. Either dead or imprisoned.
Guess what, it was a human that got rid of them too, although I guess that can't be true because humans can only do evil things, right?
Also, Team Rocket have never had a presence in Orre.
I'm not sure about other regions though, honestly.

Hell if you want I could go and find out if you know roughly where they operate, I do specialize in reconnaissance after all.

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>>9346976
>pet

>>9346986
I gotta agree with the frozen feline here. What towns did we pass up, the lovely town of Ereshkigal Village or scenic Gehenna Falls?

>>9347050
...Someone did what? Speaking in my experience as a professional mystic, medium and magical maniac, on a scale of 1 to 10 that sounds like a grade A S+ Rank Fuck This situation to me.

>>9346986
(Wasn't that a yanmega a second ago?)

>>9347004
Impossible. Describe this "spoon tooooh" to me. I must crush it and all it loves.

>>9347018
Look, I am literally sexless. There is nothing there. It's just a big smooth purple piece of skin. I don't even have those kind of urges. I think.

>>9347033
Everything makes me angry.

>>9347060
If I knew where they were they'd already be in a crater. Tell me everything you know about Giovanni. Does he still live?

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>>9347050
See, you say that, but you just said gigi brought the distortion world there.
That is not peaceful.

>>9347062
I don't know what either of those places are but I'm gonna agree with your Fuck This thing.

>>9347066
(wat)

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>>9347062
>petted
>haply smoochbug noises
>smooch
>and starts resting on hex's hair like it was a blanket

slow down kiddos

>>9347141
this isn't even fast, grandma.

>>9347085
>the pokemon sniffles again
I'm sorry for being annoying mister, can i still be your friend?
You need to cheer up a little

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>>9347085
Seems like you have some particularly strong feelings against these guys.
I don't know anything about them, I'd say you can read my mind to see I'm telling the truth but I have a thing that protects against psychic mind reading and manipulation, except from a couple of particularly powerful psychics.
If you want I can make him not be living anymore, assuming he is anyway, or would you rather do that yourself?

>>9347085
It's like you, but they have a big spoon.

>>9347141
>shifts gear
>put some eurobeat
>does some sick drifts
never, we need to go faster

>>9347085
But I'm sure you have an anus. A hole is a hole.

>>9347156
No and no. I am made of hate and cyber rape.

>>9347158
Humans. Delightfly eager to turn on their own kind when presented with even the pettiest incentive. I assume in exchange you want me to, what. Accept a life of slavery at your side or something equally revolting?

>>9347164
As in a literal spoon? As in the utensil?

>>9347181
...I don't follow. What does my waste duct have to do with anything?

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>>9347171
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j40MdNLvRbQ

>>9347185
Yeah, it's like, almost as big as they are too. Kinda strange really.

>>9347185
It's sensitive and you may find it pleasurable, if you know what I mean

>>9347185
maybe you just need a friend
my ma always say that everyone needs a friend

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>>9347185
Right, because it's fine if you kill them because of blind hate, but not when I kill them for being terrible people.
Cool.
Here's a tip buddy, Pokemon are like that too sometimes.
Also frankly I probably wouldn't even have killed him if you had said yes, I prefer to use tranquillizer rounds and just get him stuck in prison. Way less messy, both morally and literally.

>>9347294
>pet a 77

>>9347213
That sounds like a horrible impractical tool or weapon. Where would you even get that much stainless steal?

>>9347216
I do not.

>>9347232
Your ma is wrong.

>>9347294
Fine way to dodge the question. What is it that you want in return?

>>9347318
Stick something smooth and thick up there and tell me what you feel. For research.

>>9347318
b-but ma is never wrong
she is always knows what to say

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>>9347315
>Good job, you petted 77's helmet.

>>9347318
I'd say a hug but I get the impression you'd probably just try to kill me.
How about you changing your attitude so that you don't just blindly hate and mistrust all humans?

>>9347318
I don't know if they actually use it for anything, honestly. Probably got it from a novelty store or something.

>>9347346
Reasearch? The last time I did something for research I was jabbed with a needle the size of my arm.

>>9347351
Lovely for her.

>>9347361
...H-uuuhg? What the hell is a hu-guuh?

>>9347363
That's a horrible waste of money.

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>>9347062
Yeah I have no idea how it happened, but it looks like the city worshipped Giratina and fucked up something fierce.
>>9347117
The Distortion World is a dead dimension, dude, it's just... weird. The ghosts only come out at night, though in massive numbers.

>>9347374
I'm sure this kind of research will be pleasurable for you, and if not then welp, will have to file a plan under not realistic.

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>>9347374
I...honestly can't tell if you're being serious or just really sarcastic.
If the former, I'm adding that to my reward and you have to not try to kill me.
Deal?

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>>9347117
Yeppers.

>>9347128
>Smoochbug: Optained
>+1 Smoochbug

>>9347400
>heavy breathing
...How many ghosts are we talking about?

>>9347374
Your creators might have put a button that produces pleasure inside that hole, basically, you slowly slide something up in there, it pushes the button, and feels really good. It's something a lot of species have, but it's uncertain if you have it, the only way to really know is to try it.
Might want to start with something thin, if you're not used to it, you can't take bigger objects without pain.
Bigger objects produce more pleasant sensations though, so if you've got the button, you'll have a new passtime.

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>>9347400
I know that, who doesn't know that? But, ghosts? That's it? No freaky demons or anything?
Cause I like ghosts, but not things that shouldn't exist.

>>9347424
Probably like, tons of ghosts. Literal tons. D-world is involved.

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>>9347409
Uh... the only things smooth here are my MTN-X and this pokedex I got off a dead slaver.

>>9347412
...I genuinely have no idea what that "huuuhuuugh" is. Is it another human torture machine?

>>9347436
...That does not sound efficient.

>>9347374
she is really lovely
ma is the best

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>>9347424
Enough to make me spend a month there training nocturnally, with the whole team, because any less than six level 40 Pokemon and they would have overwhelmed us. I'd say we banished about a hundred and fifty back into their own dimension nightly.
>>9347483
It's just ghosts of several varieties.

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>>9347483
...
>heavier breathing

>>9347508
How do they feel about cuddling?

>>9347492
The stone will do nicely, after all, we do need you to tell us your experience.
Hugs are simply a form of affection, you could look a few videos about humans and pokemon hugging.

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>>9347424
>smoochbug now completely hidden in hex's hair is snoozing a little

>>9347492
...You're a Psychic, I assume, so you can probably press the button with mental power, if it's there.
Just like, make a rod of force and slowly -seriously, slow, too fast and you'll hurt yourself- shove it up there and see if you have the button, then you can like, push it whenever you want, once you know where it is.

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>>9347508
Good. Ghosts are friends.

>>9347521
..You alright there, spooks?

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>>9347492
>77: attempt to not laugh.
Alright so, it's a thing humans do to show affection, friendship or something.
Also those other guys are trying to get you to do sexual things.
I guess I can tell you about all of these things you don't know about if you don't kill me after the hug.

>>9347499
That- whatever. Sure.

>>9347530
Do... do I just shove it in or...?

>>9347551
Uh...
>confused ayylmaocat
>spread legs
Am I doing this righ-

>>9347553
THEY'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO WHAT?

>>9347551
Ooooh spicy, should have thought of thst first.

>>9347565
Sexual things, although we're not sure if there is any genitalia left on you for that. Maybe you do, maybe not, lets hope yes.

>>9347565
See
You are not evil
You just need someone to talk too

>>9347565
I thought we made it clear this was sexual pleasure dude. Really we're trying to help you, there's been some studies that show sexual pleasure is a massive stress reliever, and a pain killer, and a bunch of other beneficial things.

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>>9347521
Depends, do you consider "actively attempting to rip your guts out" cuddles?
>>9347552
Not these ones. I have yet to meet a ghost from this place that wasn't screaming in rage and trying to kill us.

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>>9347565
>77: burst out laughing.
The fact that you almost did it proves you knew what you were doing, come on man!
Maybe you could make that my reward for killing Giovanni for you~

>>9347588
Filthy degenerate humans! I was THIS close to almost-
>shudder

>>9347600
I am very evil. Grr.

>>9347606
I am an unbreakable killing machine not a salazzle. The only pleasure I need is seeing Giovanni's head on a stick.
>suddenly realize legs are still spread eagle
>close then quickly
>violent blushing
>thank Mom no one can see this

>>9347652
THAT. NO. DIRTY HUMANS. SHATTUP.

>>9347663
That's Giovanni's programming talking, seriously, every other life form in existence has the urge to experience sexual pleasure, EVEN THE OTHER ARTIFICIAL ONES, what you wanted to do is... okay not completely natural, but since you apparently don't have the usual sexual organ we had to get a bit creative in our ideas.
Seriously, try it once before you denounce it, if you don't like it or Team Rocket didn't give you the option then no harm done, and you can find other ways to make yourself feel good.

>Wheh, time for a lunch break and posting

>>9347565
>>9347588
>>9347652
What in tarnation.
Nope, I'm out. Filthy pokephiles and monster result of humans playing God is not what I call a good time.

>>9347730
t.Kantofag

>>9347663
it's a compliment silly
you truly are nice
but you are trying to make people believe you are a bad mon because you are afraid of being hurt
but don't worry, i'm not going to hurt you because i too get hurt a lot

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>>9347663
Wow, you're really flustered aren't you?
I'm sorry, I'll stop messing with you.
That date offer is still on the table though, should you change your mind.
I'm going to go get some intel on this Giovanni guy though, maybe I'll try and find out where you are, I could drop by and give you a kiss.

>>9347730
Blah blah, nobody cares.
I'd say go back to Pyrite Town but some Pokemon made a keep there, so uh, I dunno.

>>9347663
Well? Maybe you should realize degeneracy isn't an actual thing. Maybe you will enjoy it more than killing.

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>>9347663
>>9347764
What.
What the fuck 77.

>>9347753
Hey, some of us Kantonian folks got with the times!
...Not that it matters, my Gengar isn't interested in me that way and the feeling is mutual.
Speaking of which, I just landed in Hoenn... where do I find Beldum?

>>9347796
>33 is jelly
Ha.

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>>9347700
"That... No! No one owns me! Never again! I'll show you! I'll show you all!"

Is what I would say if I was actually stupid enough to fall for that. Just screaming "Giovanni" at me isn't going to make me act like a whore for your amusement, slaver.

>>9347730
Thank you human. I'll kill you last.

>>9347756
Leave the psychoanalysis to actual psychics.

>>9347764
>across the vast void of time and space, there's a cat monster that just turned bright red
...Ahem. Assuming you actually do find anything, leave it in a dead drop at Pokemon Village. I'll know when it happens.

>>9347783
Says the degenrate.

>>9347796
Hello there. I sense you are this human's mate. Enjoy your fun conversation about why your companion wants to molest a genetic aberration. Oh, and the Skarmory is hungry.

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>Wake up
>Can't move due to reasons, time to shitpost on dex

>>9347663
>>9347831
Well this is real neato.

>>9347819
make 77 jelly by dating adri

(Can we please cull some of the random anons holy shit this thread is cluttered to read)

>>9347831
But you seem so lonely
But was i right or not mister?
If you want i can be your friend
I promise i'll try to help you be happier

>>9347831
I'm serious, it's... not normal to only achieve pleasure through killing, there are other ways, and the one I personally enjoy the most is sex, but, if you're really not feeling up to attempting masturbation, you could always like, I dunno... shit, one hermit to another? Find some good books and movies and games.

>>9347864
"cluttered"
It's no different from any other day with more or less avatars being used.
Learn to read.

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>>9347796
Something wrong, 33?

>>9347831
Will do.

>>9347851
Adri is cute but not really for me, I think.

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>>9347819
I guess?
>>9347831
>mate
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
>>9347851
I'm not sure if she's my type.
>>9347882
Are we dating Mewtwo?

>>9347831
Don't play coy, we both know you want it.

>>9347892
Do you want to fuck 77?

>>9347892
Do you liiiiiike 77?
What about mewtwo?

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>>9347847
Sweet Mew, give me succor. Are you here to molest me too?

>>9347868
I don't want to be happy, I want to commit patricide.

>>9347871
I am literally designed to kill things.

>>9347892
Companion? Paramor? Jill? Partner? Look, I'm not good at long range readings and I'm getting some interference, you have to work with me here slaver.

>>9347921
>Psyshock through the internet
This reply chain is getting too cluttered and you have invoked my ire.

>>9347882
>>9347892
Well i doubt she is anyone's type
Since she still very alone and with no one who will ever love her

>>9347951
Yes but you don't have to do just what you're designed for, which is what I was getting at earlier. Humans and Pokemon... REALLY weren't meant to stick things up their butts, but we did it anyway.
Or maybe we were, I can't say what Arceus was thinking when he made prostates a thing.

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>>9347633
Have you considered the possibility that they just might not like you and your weaponized hairdo?
You were kind of slaughtering them wholesale.

>>9347892
do you want 77 to mindbreak you?

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>>9347633
Like, in a lewd way oooor...?

>>9347998
True, if someone showed up in my crib and started trying to murder me, I'd be pretty salty.

>>9347951
Okay...
I just wanted to help you mister...
But if are not happy then you will be sad after you done that patrocide.
What is that?

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>>9347806
I'm not sure, but get ready to waste a lot of balls.

>>9347951
No I'm here to watch you, and if possible, record.

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>>9347892
What do you mean we?
I'm not dating anyone yet.

>>9347962
That can't be true.
Didn't Rodger have a thing with her before he uh...left?

>>9347932
>>9347947
>>9348005
Hey here's a fun challenge, you guys all run away in different directions and I'll see if I can still shoot you all before you get away.

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>>9347998
We didn't attack them first! I honestly tried talking first, but noooo they had to try and kill us!
>>9348007
...How the fuck can someone trying to rip your guts out be sexual? Please, explain this to me. Or don't. Actually don't, I don't wanna know.

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>>9347932
>>9347947
help
>>9347951
I don't know.
Yes?
Am I going to romance you too since I'm going to help kill Giovanni?
>>9347962
ok
>>9348005
Nnnnooo.
No?
>>9348027
....Alright.

>>9347951
>Miss
You're so cute when flustered.

>>9348033
>Dubfail
...You do want 77 to mindbreak you into his personal sex slave?

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>>9347995
Do I even have a prost... well. That's not important.

>>9348011
Patricide is the act of murdering your parents. Or in this case, creators.

>>9348024
>close legs tighter
Watch what? There's nothing to see here. Begone from this realm, dirty pikachu molester.

>>9348033
I am the ultimate lifeform, not a one night stand.

>>9348046
FUCKING
>Focus Blast

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>>9348007
Yeah, exactly. I don't want a dragon to just swoop down and eat me.
Ghosts don't wanna get killed. Again.

>>9348032
Suuuuuure.
..I'm gonna echo Spikey McTrenchcoat, explain sexual gutripping please.

>>9348027
I guess
but it seems that he left her a but heartbroken
I bet she thinks that he left her

>>9348063
Oh no
I wouldn't do that to my parents they are so nice

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>>9348032
I'm surprised you don't know Edgy Eddie.

>>9348076
...Well, when a girl and a Gengar love eachother very much but the Gengar wants to be a little shit and starts trying to hatefuck her...

>>9348063
>focus blast

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>>9348059
...I mean I have a psychic type for a reason so. No.
Unless I felt like I could actually trust him.
>>9348063
>One night stand.
You've never been on a date with me then. I'll treat you like a real legendary.
C'mon over to 33. I'm down in Kalos, cutie. Camphrier Town.

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>>9348063
Now that is offensive, this is a loving and consensual relationship.

(Can we please stop replying to mewtwo. This thread isnt fun to read when its everyone replying to one person. Please please.)

>>9348063
>Miss
Keep acting though, it majes you cuter

>>9348112
If you do date him care to trip report back with the experience?
I would date him myself but, he might want to kill me and I'm all the way in Sinnih.

>>9348144
Except that's not what's going on. There's a group doing a completely separate thing Right Now.

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>>9348099
Lies.

>>9348112
...That... no. Nope. I've had it. I'm disintegrating this entire godsforsaken island. Starting with Camphrier.

>>9348124
Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night.

>>9348144
(sorry dude wasn't trying to derail the thread. I can like, fug off until other stuff happens if that'd maybe work? Or just drop the char if i'm being annoying, sorry again)

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>>9348147
Will do.

>>9348181
You considered it.
Come on, give me a chance.

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>adri is doing her work like usual
>her shop is a small succes due to more consumer friendly prices
Things are going good a bit
Well today i just had three customers who bought lots of different clothes soon i'll have to do a restock of materials
I hope it is enough

>>9348181
(No don't fug off. Trust us reply chains are a lot worse then this.)

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>>9348100
...Go oooon.
>Retrieve swedish fish
>From where? Who knows.
>Munch.

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>>9348181
I'd get him to tell you that I'm not lying, but I'd rather not wake him up.

(You're fine, and not much apart weebsail is happening. This is kinda expected from a high profile char)

>>9348181
(You're fine dude. Just ignore some of the non avafags if you want.)

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>>9348181
(Well just to not be branded a shitposter and be an actual character i'll chose a pokemon, and the random pokemon generator gave me this)
I'm not lying
Ma says that liars are bad people, and the she doesn't want me to become bad

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>>9348197
I'm considering seeing if Brick Break works on human ribs, let's find out together.
>roll for time it takes to get to Camphrier, last two numbers

>>9348244
Humans can only lie.

>>9348291
You're living. You're already bad.

>>9348221
>>9348246
(alright. if i do start getting annoying lemme know or something and i'll either revise the char or fug off for a bit?)

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>>9348314
I'm so going to regret this.
Look for the guy with the scarf.
>33: Order some soup to please the date and not die.

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>>9348314
I am bad?
But ma said i'm a good boy
But how can i be good then?

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>>9348314
So can pokemon. We aren't that different.

>>9348364
Good luck.

>>9348364
Don't forget to probe him, if you know what I mean.

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>>9348436
Mornin' Seb. What's up?
>Psychmouse: look for coffee and breakfast

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>>9348076
WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP RIPPING ON MY STYLE!?!?
>>9348100
...I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW THAT.

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>>9348223
HEH
You don't want to know.

>>9348556
You're just vanilla af kid.

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>>9348436
If I die you get my Forretress.
>>9348477
>Sweat.
Not on the first date.
>33: Message 77 about the date thing.

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>>9348556
I don't see any style TO rip on, dude.

>>9348578
..I didn't really but now I kinda do.

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>>9348556
>Touch the bedhead.
>>9348578
>>9348607
Yo.

>>9348314
Dude you don't have to fucking kill people! Like, Giovanni I can understand but everyone else doesn't need to die!

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>>9348552
I'm trying to not look at all the work still left and one of the Mewtwos resurfaced. He has a decidly Kantoese opinion on man-pokemon relationships.

Godsdamn, this weekend was hell. I think I lost weight, and didn't get to keep up a special project.

>>9348588
I'm sure I can give him a good home, in that case.

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>>9348588
>"Good luck. Where are you going for the date?"

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>>9348658
Dude. That sucks.
At least he's not, like, coming over here to kill us, right?
Uhh... Right?

>>9348658
Awesome.
>>9348685
>"The restaurant in Camphrier Town. Hoping he can't read me through my pokemon..."
>Sweat.
>"Fuck. Maybe you should switch in, there's still some time I think."

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>Angry psyshic cat monster: Arrive in Camphire
ATTENTION LESSER BEINGS. BRING ME THE ONE CALLED "33". AND I WILL CONSIDER SPARING YOUR YOUNG

>>9348648
More human lies. You will all pay.

>>9348685
>evesdropping cat: snoop on the call
To burn alive.

>>9348697
SOON

>>9348431
Because I said so.

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>>9348703
>"Alright, on my way."
>Out comes Hypno.
>Roll to teleport to the restaurant.

>>9348728
It's rude to listen in on people's conversations, also you'd better not hurt 33.

>>9348588
You just have to prod him a bit, and then he will let you prod him further.

>>9348728
Tsun-tsun~

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>>9348607
THIS IS MY STYLE DAMNIT!
>>9348616
STAPH!
>>9348578
NO I'M- UUUUGH NEVERMIND!

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>>9348728
>33: Wave.
Hey there.
>Attempt to relieve stress and test how close you are to imminent death by petting the catte.
>>9348774
>"Help."
>>9348778
I might.

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>>9348697
Kalos at the moment, and if he comes with hostile intetions... I don't want to think about that.
>Get your first real breakfast on in days

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>>9348728
Oh, fuck.

>>9348804
Uh, Seb? I, uh... spoke too soon.
We need, like, a lot of backup.
We're fucked, and not the fun kind.

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>>9348607
HEH

>>9348616
Wassup dude

>>9348796
Your style is edgy af.

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>>9348728
B-but how can i be good then?

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>>9348616
Howdy tinman.

>>9348792
Your style is the absence of style, got it.

>>9348819
>Poke a hexgal

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>>9348774
I'm here to hurt you first. What I do with your toy is another matter entirely.

>>9348796
...Stop touching me.
>roll to not purr
>because even mutant cats like being petted

>>9348810
I have some business to attend to with a different pair of lovebirds first. Maybe some other time.

>>9348820
You can't. Hence why murder is the only option.

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>>9348792
Nah.
>>9348819
Nothing much. You?
>>9348834
Alola.