ITT: Pokemon are real. What's your favorite time of th

>>8975578
nigjt

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>>8975531
hello alistair
you really took me off guard with that shriek
not that i was that surprised i was just distracted, that all

>>8975578
memes

HOLY SHIT ITS FUCKING COLDER THAN THE EXPECTED

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>>8975578
Night.
I personally find it calming.
Additionally, I disturb less mortals with my presence at night.

>>8975578
Late afternoon.
That's best shitmon stomping hours.
Deleted three today, left some cuck kid bawling.
Should've done his fucking homework before getting attached to trash.

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>>8975700
>Sneak away from the weird pokemon and head off to Hoenn.
What's your team?

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>>8975578
Late evening, just after it starts getting dark. So nice.

>>8975531
>smol caw
Alright alright, you win. But only cause your lungs are bigger than... well, me.

>>8975700
kys

>>8975762
>pet smollborb

>>8975742
Core squad's Greninja-Conkledurr-Mawile, still working on getting a Frogadier evolved though.
Tried getting a Lucario, but they go hyper-aggro on me. Go figure.
Going to get a full team together, then Real Delet Hours can get going.
>>8975769
No you.

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>>8975826
Nice. I need to see if I can get something for me and my friends.
>Rolling to dig up Wes's contact info.

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>>8975867
>you failed because hes fucking lurking
what
what?

i want to protect jijis smile

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>>8975578
Night, for obvious reasons.
>>8975606
Sure you weren't.
>>8975762
Ha! Maybe one day you'll make it, keep trying.
>>8975908
(Same.)

>>8975908
me too

>>8975908
we all do

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>>8975890
Heyyyyyyyyy, uh, uh, wow.
How... Much... For the Snag Machine blueprints? Or like...

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>>8975826
dude
p sure that like
some of your shitmons are just shit you dont wanna learn how to use

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>>8975578
I'm rather fond of late mornings, personally.
>>8975698
Ah, good day, brother. I take it you have been well?

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>>8975806
>Skro: get the pets
>Aw yiss
You got any bread, bud?

>>8975925
Yyyeaaahhh, maybe, probably not though.
Hard to outcaw an owl. Especially with the size diff.

>>8975908
(The codex astartes supports this action.)
(Translation: same.)

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>>8975989
Yes.
It has been calm near my tower.
Very few monks have come and gone these last few months.

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>>8975965
maybe if you like
beat mt battle fifty times
and throw a rock that that fucking marowak for me
maybe

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>>8975925
Well i'm adri nice to meet you alistair

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>>8975578
Midnight.

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>>8976028
>>8976068
So.... What's going on here?

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>>8976143
No idea, I'm just riding a genie and seeing what horrible things might possibly happen.

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>>8975826
>>8976051
>Judgemental cross internet stare
>>8975578
Dusk. It carries the warmth of the day without the harsh sunlight

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>>8976051
...I haven't even met you.

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>>8976051
Maybe not fuck around with the marowak. I can beat Mt. Battle, probably.
Anyway I need to get my team together.

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>>8976260
gaysaywhat
>>8976288
fine

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>>8976307
ok

>>8976288
Hey, you're out of Orre, right?
Rumor is you've got some way of super-charging your Pokes or some shit?

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>>8976307
ok
>>8976382
I mean... Yes. I wouldn't know anything about that.
But... Like, I can hook you up. It takes a few days though. More or less depending on the strength, evolution and shit of a pokemon.

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>>8976143
I don't know
Just got here

gladi more like daddi

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>>8976489

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>>8976489
(... anon? What're you doing? If you're gonna make that joke you gotta say it "dadi" otherwise you're killing the pun-tential.)

>>8976414
Fuck yeah.
I need to expand my team first, though.
Shitmons don't delete themselves.

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>>8976545
Alright, I'm expanding my team as well. Just give me a ring when you need me to hook you up I guess.

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>>8976200
... huh. How do...? Nevermind.
>>8976423
Well, that makes two of us.

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>ATTEMPT TO LICK DAVE

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>>8976869
>How do you fail a lick?
>Because you just managed to miss a lick
dude
>poke tongue
welcome to the waking world
do robots even dream?

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>>8976667
I guess...
So Alistair
I think we met before
Have we?
>she's trying to remember why she recognizes him

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>>8977012
I'm the only talking Decidueye who happens to be a trainer so... I don't know, have we?

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>>8976977
>NECROZMA: DELET LEWD_DREAMS.ZMA
...NO.
ARE WE GOING TO FIGHT THE ELITE FOUR

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vVU7MyK9fQ

>a patch of mist springs up over the road
>all sounds of pokemon and human life suddenly stop
>from the feet thick wall of fog, a dim light appears
>the wave of mist parts as a lone cart makes its way through
>there's no indication of where it's going, but it crawls to a halt just off the side of the road

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>>8977121
damn
there go my wet dream jokes
yeah dude
you ready for this shit
gonna be cool af
>Dude
>Think you can do me a favor and kidnap me
>A cleaver was found in some dudes locker today
>And there were two fuckers with guns in their cars

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>>8977132
...Awesome.
>Go scope it out.

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>>8977204
HELL YES I AM
>SMOOCH THE DAVE
>dude
>holy fuck
>im coming
>let me just figure out how to get the bastard sword on my moms motorcycle

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>>8977240
>banging from inside the wagon
HELLO? Uh- J-JUST A SEC! The uh... SPIRITS! Yeah sure let's go with that shit THE SPIRITS MUST BE PREPARED!

>sounds of a vacuum cleaner

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>>8977039
wait now i remember
i think we had a battle once
you defeated me and my friends and i don't remember much other than i got knocked out pretty quickly

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>>8977273
pfft cheesy
>kissu kissu
>off to the e4
aight whos first
edgy guy right
>Is it bad that people having fucking guns with them at school is so common it didn't bug much of anyone?
>Fucking two years ago someone was gonna fucking fill the AC system with bleach + the other ingredient for chlorine gas
>This town is so shitty man you won't even believe
>Come be my gay knight dude
>Premptive dramatic swoon: happen

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>>8977440
AT LEAST IM NOT GAY
OK I AM BUT
EDGY GUY YES
>dude what the fuck even
>if you see a dude come in on a motorcycle
>leather jacket bastard sword and a helmet
>its either me or my uncle brian
>knight but on a fucking motorcycle
>we can make this like a 80s romance movie

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>>8977424
Okay.
>33 leans on his Forretress.

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>>8977498
alright
lets go
>Using Showdown for some real time Dave fight action and post saving
>Unless you actually want an in thread battle
http://play.pokemonshowdown.com/battle-gen7customgame-567043160
>Our sheriff is a registered sex offender
>Apparently tried to get it on with one of the girl's basketball players a while back
>but how will i know who's who
>it's gonna be awkward as fuck if like
>i flirt with your uncle or something
>shitty 80s gay romance: but with less aids and dying

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>>8977523
>a badly unkempt woman smelling of alcohol and cheap incense pops out
Yes! Hello valued customer, to the Mystical Card of Madem Camella the Wise! I See All! I Hear All! And for a price I Tell All!

How may I lend my mystical services to you good si...aaand it's just a Forretress, great.

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>>8977657
>God damnit
>Fucking
>80% my ass
Stone miss fucking sucks

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>>8977788
>The trainer of the Forretress head up.
Nope, trainer. I'll bite, how much to tell me if I'm going to get a promotion?

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>>8977830
>ATTEMPT NUMBER TWO: SKITTS REMEMBERS TO PUT MEGASTONES ON DAVE'S POKEMON EDITION

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>>8977657
>>8977830
>>8977893
HOLY SHIT YOU GOT WRECKED
>my uncle isnt hot like me
>i mean
>i could call him up and we could both go kill your family but like
>woo
>holy fuck man

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>>8977881
AHA! Yes, good sir, well you see the spirits are temperamental and really it's a matter of the individual and of course the well being of their favored outlet is always a concern, then there's the surcharge, the tax, the annointation fee soooo uh...

How much you got fampire?

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>>8977946
>All of that goes over his head.
Uh, bout 10,000?

So, what's the exact legal process for a po-I mean, human to register as a person

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>>8977916
shhhhh they just need glasses
pretend you never saw that
look at this great victory instead
the one that happened
just now
while you were zoning
http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7customgame-567047905
>gimme the deets dude whaddya look like
>also
>kinda need my parents alive
>otherwise i'd have to drag my brother everywhere
>or he'd get sent to live with my grandparents
>who are arguably shittier
>considering they raised my mom
>..... aaand they're paying to get my car fixed
>1972 pontiac ventura ii sprint man
>too beautiful to leave behind

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>>8978076
Humans don't have to register as a person. They're consider people by virtue of being human.

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>>8978017
...That works.

>[Sound of What Is Definitly not a Pokeball Clicking Open]
I CALL UPON THE SPIRITS OF AGES PAST
HEAD ME NOW, THIS SPELL I CAST
>[Sound of a Duskull who is not in the mood for this shit right now]
TELL ME NOW, THE FATE OF THIS SOUL
SHALL HE BE REPAID, TOKEN FOR HIS TOLL?
>[Skull-flavored groaning]

>roll for prediction quality and effectiveness

>>8978076
Friendly reminder that if you're from orre you aren't actually a person

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>>8978109
Let me rephrase that.
I lack the uh... Identification papers needed for becoming a trainer.
How do I get those?

>>8978199
I'm not from Orre.

>>8978076
you don't

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>>8978199
Wow okay.
>>8978109
Hilbert where do I get a noose?

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>>8978209
... do you have a birth certificate, driver's license, passport, or any other legally identifying papers.
>>8978223
>Toss him a winter scarf

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>>8978199
I promised I was going clean, I promised I was going clean, no more random violence...
Okay I'm going to go fuck off somewhere else and get my mind off this now.
>Rolling for travel time in Fugging Off Somewhere Else

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>>8978209
You're going to be a trainer?

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>>8978247
I don't have any of those.
I was um...born in the wilds, and never got any.

>>8978269
Yes.

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>>8978285
How does a human be born in the wilds?

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>VWOOP
>Roll for Panoptes levels

Protip: the Giant Chasm is FUCKING cold, and I don't mean winter in Castelia cold.

>>8978306
They don't.

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>>8978197
>WOW IT"S FUCKING NOTHING
>Internal screaming
...Uh. H-heh.

AHEM. AAAH YES! THE WYRD SPIRITS OF FATE SAY IT IS VEERY LIKELY THAT YOU SHALL SEE GREAT CHANGES IN YOUR FUTURE!

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>>8978306
When a female hermit and a male hermit love each other very much....

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>>8978197
>>8978327
>33 nods politely.
Uh, thank you.
>Pay the alcoholic 10,000P.
I'll, uh, go now.
>>8978199
Friendly reminder that I'll knock your brains out with a hammer if you say shit like that again.

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>>8978285
>Squint
With no way to identify you as a citizen, citizen, you'd have to apply, or reapply, for citizenship in person at your nearest naturalization office.
>>8978321
It's theoretically possible, but you'd have to be a member of a group completely disconnected from modern society - and most of those that I know of are fugitives or fanatics.
>>8978333
Preemptively, most but not all.

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>>8978306
The same way as they do normally, just without any of the equipment.

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>>8978348
Oh, I was talking about my family. At least, that's what dad said about her. Occasionally I would see the silhouette of an old hermit hag on the mountain so I assumed he wasn't kidding.

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>>8978306
Uh...

>>8978333
That.
And they left me after a while.

>>8978348
So...just go there?
And ask for the process?

>>8978342
Friendly reminder that you're talking out of your ass and have no way to find me

Guys it's a fucking Latias.

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>>8978342
Thank you valued customer! Travel safely! And be sure to tell your friends!

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>>8978402
Don't bother. They won't give it to you. Just go raise Pokemon like normal and talk about how cruel Pokeballs are if anyone asks.

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>>8978316
>6/2+58 =61

>>8978402
Indeed, anonymous poster.

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>>8978402
>Very Suspicious Squinting
You'll probably have to take some pictures, go through several interviews, and have your fingerprints compared against IP archives.
That said, assuming you're a serious man or woman, that shouldn't be a problem.

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>>8978411
Yeah, okay.
>>8978439
Yep, yep, I will.
>Wait until she's not looking.
>Set up some spikes and fuck off.

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>return to caravan
...Man I suck at this
>attempt to drive away
>POP
...For fucks sake.
>urge to become a Ghastly: Rising

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>>8978428
What are you talking about?
Latias is hiding in the wilds somewhere.

>>8978458
I agree.
Pokeballs are cruel.

>>8978472
Sounds simple enough.

>>8978481
Oh...
Uh...
I'm sure I'll have no problems.
>Nervous laughter

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>>8978428
really?
are trying to pull me leg, man?

>>8978547
Guys it's literally my mom's airplane

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>>8978547
If you post your face here I'm sure some league officials could help you get your ID done quicker.

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>>8978539
>Ollie: see a roadside stand of some sort
>Check wallet
Eh, it's worth a shot.

Hey there. You still open for business?
>Suspicious man who smells vaguely of chemicals and venom: wave.

>>8978547
Then why are you sending pictures of Latias wings, "Totally A Real Human"?
The Pokemon which can turn invisible whenever it wants? Which nobody has ever gotten pictures of before?

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>>8978547
Oh, they aren't that bad. How else would I take a Tyrantrum through the cold mountains? Or into a building? It wouldn't be safe.

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>>8978572
your mom has an airplane?
how rich are you?

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>>8978582
>Jump in the bushes.
>Snoop on this dude.

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>>8978572
>UNIT ONE: ATTEMPT TO CALCULATE HOW RICH ANON IS
>FACTORS: MOTHER OWNS HER OWN AIRCRAFT
>AIRCRAFT IS INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO POST IN A THREAD
>ROLL TO NOT CRASH

>>8978547
(Question. Why doesn't she just use her powers to make herself look human?)

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>>8978582
>Clearly unstable woman who smells strongly of Evan Williams and fake lavender: Nudge the dicskull and wave back
Uh, yes! Hello their good sir! Welcome to the Mystical Cart of Madem Camella the Wise! I See All! I Hear All! And for a price I Tell All!

>step out of cart
>roll to not step on a spike

>>8978665
>5
>Get nail'd
OW FUCK DAMNIT WHY ARE THERE FUCKING NEEDLES ON THE GROUND YVETAL FUCKING DAMN IT ALL TO FUCKING SHIT EATING HELL- uh

Hello Valued Customer! How may I help you?

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>>8978577
Uh...
I'd rather not...

>>8978589
They are good for transportation, I guess. Most trainers seem to use them to control their pokemon's movements, though.

>>8978586
What are you talking about-
...
I left the camera on.
It's getting pictures of a, uh...
Figure.

>>8978634
(1: I have no pictures yet)
(2: she's planning on it in the future, but needs to work on the disguise)

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>>8978696
>>8978665
>Ollie: try to sidestep spikes.
Last customer get pissed off or something?
Anyway, I got 10,000P up front and a whole lot of questions.
Should we get started?
>Scarf-wearing guy with odd stings on arms: invite self in.

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>>8978665
>>8978696
>>8978754
>33: Take down some notes.
>Roll to not have a giggle.

>>8978713
So that's not a Latias hand covering the lens? That's what you're going with?

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>>8978754
Aha! Yes sir, at your lease.

>shove piles of junk aside to clear off a chair
>kick Watamote collection under a rug
>toss empty ramen cups under a blanket on the couch you sleep on
Now valued customer, how may THE SPIIIIRITS FROM BEYOND THE VEEEEEIL be of service?

>literally beyond the veil
>that duskull is sitting behind the curtain seperating the driver's seat from the living space in the back banging its head on the dash

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I've got a problem. People I'm working for are going to make a very big move soon, and I am advising them not to.
Do I jump ship or keep advising?

>>8978862
Book it before they drag you down with them.

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>>8978862
That depends... Will this move be dangerous to your wellbeing?

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>>8978862
well if it is something major it's better that you ask him to think twice before doing it

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>>8978862
If the move's gonna get you all killed, jump ship and defect to somebody else in exchange for protection.
I did that when my old group got fucking too crazy for me and I saw a chance, and I outlived all the bosses.

>>8978825
Yeah. First thing, I'm worried. Three dudes on the other side I wanna check on - well, check that they're locked up safe and not roaming this side as ghosts.

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>>8978713
why do you want to be a trainer anyway? sounds boring.

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>>8978883
Very much thinking about that.
>>8978887
I am an advisor, high enough they give me one of their pokemon but battling isn't my thing. I know they're playing with something that'll get a hell of a reaction.
Not the one they want.
>>8978924
Tried that.
>>8978925
Hell, they'll dig up my roots and I'll get jailed regardless.

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>>8978925
Ah, good, something easy! I shall obtain their status forthwith! What are the names of these three souls? Speak clearly so that the other side (of the curtain) can hear you!

>read: Mort the Duskull checks while she stalls him

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>>8978968
If I were you, I'd run away very fast, very far away.

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>>8978822
It's the figure's hand.

>>8978935
So I can keep a friend safe.

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>>8978968
well is it soomething illcit?
it sounds like it is

>>8979011
And now you're outside.
With a most likely quite expensive figure.
You aren't very good at this you know, one would expect a Psychic type to be able to lie better.

>>8978999
tipsfail, Mort is drunk off leftover Evan

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>>8978968
Not if you outlive them. And if they're gonna get as much heat as you're hinting, well, fucking off to Sevii Islands with whatever you can carry and waiting them out might work best.
>>8978999
A Mr. Darke, a Mr. Cartier, and Philippe Marshall. All bloodsoaked sychopaths, and all supposed to be dead.

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>>8979096
>Sluuuuuuuurp
SHHHHH. SPOILERS.

>>8979164
Aeris dies.

>>8979195
burai dies

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>>8979011
well that's a decent reason i guess. Going to a pokemon lab or something is a good place to start or something i don't know.

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>>8979007
I know, kid. I'll spill ya the beans when I'm out.
>>8979062
Very much so.
>>8979139
Maybe I'll take one of the assets and call up our legit member and see about gettin' him out.
>Rolling for potential bad things.

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>>8979139
>roll to contact the otherside with your tipsy Duskull
SPIRITS HEAR MY PLEA
FIND THE SOULS I REQUEST AMONG THEE
DARKE, CARTIER, AND MARSHALL THREE
FIND THEIR SOULS AND SPEAK TO ME

>drunk ghost reversed the rolls
>odds for success to confirm death
>evens for failure to contact anything
>dubs ????

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>>8979096
Well, look.
I have a lot of things on my mind right now, I'm tired, I'm angry, and I have a lot of built up stress at a lot of things.
What do you expect?

>>8979208
I don't really know where to start either.
Guess I'll get a ball at first.

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>>8979195
>>8979207
I DON'T MEAN FOR ME. I ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.
SPOILERS - COLRESS IS A SLUT.

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>>8979259

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>>8979279
YOU HEARD ME. SPOILERS - YOU SUCCEED IN FINDING A BLACK HOLE ONE DAY.
..... SPOILERS - IT'S YOUR ANUS.

>>8979310
>Not Uranus

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>>8979310

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>>8979233
If you need out fast, I got a hookup for rapid extraction. It's a rough ride, but effective as fuck.
Just gimme a ring, and we can talk pay once we're en route the fuck out.
>>8979251
Uhh... I don't really wanna say anything to them. Just make sure they're not coming for my ass for spying on 'em. Or for backtalking them that one time right before they got wiped out.

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>>8979259
>>8979279
>>8979310
>>8979331
...

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>>8979251
AHA! YES I SEE IT I SEE... wow, remind me never to fuck with Palkia.

>she looks at you with an expression that says "I got railed by a Chandelure and this shit is too fucked up"

Yeeep. That's dead. That's very very very dead.

>>8979207
Dumbledore dies.

>>8979257
I don't know.
Something better than this at least.

>>8979259
This is true.

>>8979195
>>8979207
Dio dies

>>8979374
fuk me forgot to reply to >>8979347

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>>8979310
At least he gets laid, right?
I don't even want to know my odds of getting laid this month are.

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>>8979330
YOU ARE RIGHT. URANUS BECOMES A BLACK HOLE IN ONE TIMELINE AS WELL.
>>8979331
YOU DO HAVE A CUTE ROBOT HUSBAND. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD WORK ON DEVELOPING THAT SUPER LUBE, HMM?
>>8979349
SPOILERS: IT HAPPENS TO YOU TOO.
DIFFERENT ROBOT.
AND NOT THE ONE YOU'RE THINKING OF.
>>8979386
SPOILERS: KAMINA DIES AND ALCOHOL IS DELICIOUS

>>8979404
The last town that Kino goes to? Everyone dies. Even the little girl

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>>8979422
I FAILED TO NOTICE THIS POST. THE ALCOHOL WAS IN THE WAY.
SPOILERS: IT'S MORE ADDICTING THAN YOU REALIZE.

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>>8979257
pokeballs are super cheap or something. you might have to break into your tepiggy bank to get one.

>>8979443
Spoilers
I'm straight

>>8979404
Obviously, otherwise the series would have ended at part 3.

>>8979430
...Damn it.

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>>8979233
well then, i don't know what now
maybe try to keep things in control and make him delay that somehow

>>8979430
>>8979454
(Stop shitposting the thread)

>>8979498
(Stop pretending to be me)

>>8979516
(WHO THE FUCK AM I PRETENDING TO BE I just want the fucking shitposting to stop.)
(Go get hit by a truck Turts.)

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>>8979409
>I gotchu senpai
>>8979374
Whew. That's one less thing to worry about, at least they won't come back to haunt me in a literal sense.
>Drop another 5,000P on the table.
Thanks. I'm feeling a little better now. Take care, alright?
>Odd guy: readjust scarf, stand up, head out.

>>8979454
I'd say that's why I quit, but you know damn well the real reason.
Okay, I'm afraid to ask but I've gotta know: How are my odds of seeing my kid and her not hating me?

>people trying to plot
>lol drunk diagla
thats not even fucking IC

>>8979541
hey there buddy chum pal friend you wanna calm down a bit there my friendly friend chum amigo pal there is no need to upset senpai

>>8979580
yes it is

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>>8979430
...fuck

>>8979541
>implying
(K. Also if you wanted it to stop you should of DM'ed and not bring it into thread)

>>8979580
(When has Dialga gotten drunk? I agree with this guy.)

>>8979541
(He's just giving drunk future readings, I really don't see how it's shitposting.)
(I guess I can have him sober up really quick if it bugs you that much.)

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>>8979555
I try. Have a good night! Be sure to tell your friends!

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>>8979580
>Ollie leans on a nearby shack wall. it looks like the fourth one finished in the shack.
Chill out, I don't mind shit being a little weird.
I'm not, like, Thorpe or something.
>>8979633
Will do, lady.
>Ollie: realize you have no friends except your team.
>Find a place to camp and chill with the team until the pain stops.

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And they say,

Woe,

To the old gods,

Burn, burn again, Tomas,

Not fast enough,


Ashes

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>>8979459
Oh. Right. Money.
Uh...I'll think of something.

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>>8979699
Well, that sounds ominous.
I'd better get rush delivery on my new duds.

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>>8979699
what?

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>>8979688
>Snoop on the weird dude.
>Take notes.

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>>8979869
>He lets his team out.
>Salazzle, Toxapex, Nidoking, Jellicent, Jolteon, and...
>The fuck is that other jellyfish-thing?
>It's not particularly cooperative, and stings him.

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>>8979966
>Note down the team.
>Note: Weird jellicent? New pokemon?
>Observe further.

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>>8979699
Just what

>>8979609
(He's gotten drunk before, but it was always in the Discord and almost always as a convenient excuse for him not to show up.)
(He also got drunk sometime around his first appearance, but whatever. I'll just return to using it as a convenient excuse for when I don't feel like playing him.)

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>>8979699
HEY! ASSHOLE! NO ONE IS HARASSING THE OLD GODS BUT ME!

What up old gods? It'cha gurrl!

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>>8980369
>Well, it's definitely not a Jellicent - it's Frillish-sized, but with no identifiable face.
>The rest of the team explains the weird, chemical-eqsue toxic smell that he can't shake, though.
>He pulls out some Pokechow, and tries to set up some sort of camp, with help from the Nidoking.

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>>8980467
Huh
How odd

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>>8980507
>Nope, no fucking clue.
>Sketch it out in notepad.
>Rolling for 33's art skill.
>Note: Pokechow? Some kind of hippie?

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>>8980631
>The guy looks around, like he's afraid of being watched.
>He pulls out a big fucking knife and goes looking for some local cuisine, be it plant or Rattata.
>Not a hippie with that fucking thing.

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>>8980723
>Bigass knife.
>Nope, nope, I learned this in Orre.
>Sneak the fuck away.

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>>8980857
>He learned this in Orre too, coincidentally.
>He finds something not-you to chop on.
>Feed the carnivores, fug back to camp-area.

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>>8981035
>Get the fuck out of there.
>Hell, set some spikes up.
>Stop snooping on psychos and go find those pokes you need.

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>>8981035
eat me

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>>8981209
>>8981035
DO NOT

>>8976073
Why?

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>>8981209
I don't fucking think so.
>>8981266
Relax fampai.

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>>8981266
you suck
>>8981330
but we taste like jello

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>>8981330
The last time I relaxed we punched a space baby. Don't believe his lies weird scarf man. Just throw us down the hill or something.

>>8981347
NO WE DON'- okay, that one's actually true BUT STILL

rocc cocc

>>8981462
boulder boner

>>8981468
stalagmite shaft

>>8981462
>>8981468
>>8981478
I dont need this boner

>>8981494
Basalt boner?

>>8981494
Yes you do.
Diorite Dicc

>>8981665
hot

What's up, /par/?
So, I'm vacationing in Alola and somebody told me the local boys on one of the islands sometimes catch Pyukumukus and, ahem, have fun with 'em.
Is this a "let's fuck with the tourists" myth? Because I'm tempted to try it out.

>>8981681
Calcite cocc

>>8981683
Do it

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>>8981683
FUG IT

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>>8981683

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>>8981462
>>8981468
>>8981478
>78 ▶>>8981494
> >>8981468
>>8981494
>>8981503
>>8981665
>>8981681
>>8981700
Nec pls

>>8981683
Didn't hear that myth myself in the few times I was there, but I wouldn't call it just a myth.

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>>8981416
see im always right
the human is distracted
>rifle through ollie's stuff

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>>8981748
This is illegal. You're a bad person. We're going to get stabbed. My pebbles hurt.

>Dead thread

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>>8981748
>>8981776
>Nothing much interesting.
>A notebook with some sort of ledger in it, a knife, a class picture full of kids.
>Ollie grabs the rock.
Ey, fuck outta my shit.
>Chuck rock away, go find a quieter place to camp, far far away from here.

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>>8981776
youre so boring
>>8981863
>roll down cliff
fuck

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>>8981863
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>8981883
-SSHOLE

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>>8981683
Um... that's really weird? I've never heard of anyone doing that, but I'm not from here! Maybe Hau knows?
>Text Hau

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>>8981738
malachite manhood

>>8982033
>touch butt

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>>8982033
>Touch butt.

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>>8982033
>Sting butt.

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>>8982033
>Touch butt as well.

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>>8982033
>butt touch

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>>8982033
>Slap his ass.

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>>8982033
>Touch the Sun butt.

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>>8982033
>Shadow Ball the booty.

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>>8982033
>touch the booty

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>>8982033
>SLAP ASS

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>>8982056
>>8982517
>>8982526
>>8982559
>>8982578
>>8982596
>>8982648
>>8982761
>>8982791
>Butt has been fucking terrorized
>It's gonna be sore for days
>AND he's been stung
W-why...
>Hide under bed covers

>>8982505
>>8982720
>I forgot two in this sea of (You)s
>Roll to hold back those tears

>>8982848
rip sun

i want to protect jiji

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>>8982848
poke aroun search of tasty floor baggel

>>8982912
same

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>>8982885
My butt hurts...
>Sniffle
I thought you guys said butt stuff was supposed to feel good? This just hurts!
>>8982926
I don't have any bagels...

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>>8982848
>>8982945
>Appear under the covers with him.
>Probably still with borbhat.
Hey.

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>>8982945
Wrong kinda butt stuff.

>>8982975
>Smol pecc

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>>8982945
ok i look for baggel somwhere else
>Birb: away!

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>>8982945
Uh, slaps are, like, usually supposed to sting a little.
They're also not, like, supposed to be the main thing, bro.

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Is it normal if your pokemon comes home with a flamethrower?

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>>8983130
>Roll to sting Calem and his Sylveon

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>>8983130
...Yes.

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>>8983130
Its not
Its really not
And thats from someone whose friend burnt a box that accidentally make a neighborhood evacuate
I think someone was trying to kill us with it

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>>8982975
Hi... Are the buttslappers gone? Can I come out now?
>>8983039
Oh... I'm a virgin, I don't know the other kinds?
>Brain-mouth filter is gone
>>8983073
Bye!
>>8983095
Oh... what's the main thing?
>>8983130
Nope!!

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>>8983142
I feel a bit ztrange...
>>8983154
>>8983167
>>8983180
Alright, well... Sylveon? Where are you going with that bag of cement?
I'll be back.

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>>8983130
Definitely not.

>>8983180
>Pokerface

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>>8983039
Yes?
>>8983180
I think so? You'll be fine, come on.
Geez.

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>>8983205
You're making a weird face!! Just go take a crap already!
>>8983195
Okay!! It's probably going to toss you in the lake!!
>>8983220
You can't judge, you don't even have a butt!
>Tug on tail to prove a point

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>>8983180
Uh, like, as much experience as I have, bro, I'm not sure 'chu should be, like, getting sex-ed from me.
It's a little uncomfortable, y'know?

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>>8983220
Dunno, just wanted to peck you.

>>8983180
..I see.
Well, when a two boys love each other very much...
They fuck.
They fuck a lot.

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>>8983260
HEY!! HANDS OFF THE MERCH!
>>8983268
I'll give you somethin' to peck.

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>>8983265
Okay, whatever!! I'll just be an inexperienced virgin who gets hurt on his first time because he doesn't know what's going on!!
>>8983268
I don't get it! How does it work?? I know you stick it in the butt but... I still don't get it!
>>8983296
>Stick a tongue out
IT'S NOT EVEN MERCH! Merch means it's for sale!! You're just a cheap freebie!
>Yoink

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>>8983296
Oh really? What would that be?

>>8983360
Okay okay, so like, one dude gets on top of the other, and like, sticks the dicc in, and then he kinda like.. flops around for a while, then some like, white stuff comes out and they stop.
I assume it isn't as stupid and boring as it sounds, but it might be.

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>>8983260
>>8983360
Are you okay, kid?

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>>8983440
>sting.

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Next up on the list...
>Rolling to find next poke.

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>>8983446
GAH
GET THE FUCK OUT
OOOOOOOUT

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>>8983440
Nope!!! I just got stung by a jellyfish!! Just like you!! Wow, what a coincidence!!
>>8983417
How does a dick even fit??

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>>8983502
>Giggle.
>Outie.
>Cross off name on list.
>Next!

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>>8983417
Uhhh....
>>8983360
Quit that!

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>>8983514
...I'm not sure, actually.

>>8983525
Weeeeell?
>Curious birb sounds

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>>8983525
>Portal in.
>Roll to sting.

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>>8983514
An excellent FUCKING coincidence
And don't ASK how does it fit, just DO IT

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>>8983609
you alright sb?

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>>8983525
Why??
>Yoink
>>8983552
Poop comes from there!! That sounds really dirty!!
>>8983609
BUT WHAT IF I WANNA KNOW HOW IT FITS??

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>>8983552
...I know a good place in Kalos?
>>8983557
HANDS OFF THE MERCH!!
>Open hoop.
>Roll to Stone Edge.

>>8983514
>>8983669
Get drunk, blow the guy then hope your spit is enough lube and it will fit somehow.

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>>8983670
>oh fug
>>8983552
>roll to sting hat
>outie

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>>8983669
Lube, bro. Lots of lube.
Also, 'chu gotta, like, clean out beforehand.
That or just, like, suck each other off.
>"Maaaaan, I sucked a lot of dick back on Alola..."
>Rolling, if odds that green is accidentally said out loud.

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>>8983636
I am PERFECTLY fine

>>8983669
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WITHOUT FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE DO IT

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>>8983716
>Roll to sting the maus.

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>>8983669
Well, you gotta clean it first, or else, yeah, it is.

>>8983670
Oooo, tell me about it.
It ain't a fish place, is it? I don't do fish.

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>>8983669
QUIT IT!!!
>>8983755
Nope, lots of plants and shit?

i wish jiji was my wife

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>>8983745
>ANGERY
>Psychic the jelly
>Electric screeching

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>>8983791
..Wait did you mean a restaurant or..??
>Birb has been done a confuse

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>>8983725
Mister Seb! Mister Seb!
There's a funny-smelling man outside with beans!
Should we get some? Huh? He says they're tasty!

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>>8983831
>Miss.
>Executing plan Theta Beta Lambada.
>Sting harder.