ITT: Pokemon are real. Who's your favorite human? Ru

>>8855657
orrefag

>>8855657
anabel

>>8855657
Didn't we already have this question once?
Also none of them they all deserve death

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>>8855657
...Uh.
The guy who gave me these gems, whose name I forgot.
Oops.

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>>8855624
1214!

>>8855575
>>8855547
Hail wizard! Hail greymalkin!

>>8855201
>There's a police case that Unova PD's been having trouble with - two of their own are wanted in connection with a high-profile murder.
>They're assumed to be well-equipped and extremely dangerous, although there's no leads on the two currently.
>Crooked Cop One: Toshi Imahara, age 24.
>Crooked Cop Two: Tanya Greens, age 29.
>Their personnel files are available.

>>8855777
>[insert payday and smug remark]

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>>8855777
>Catto: engage payday routine.
>On a ghost sword.
>Cause that works.
>Payday: sord.
..So, what IS a greymalkin, exactly?

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>>8855641
.-- .... -.-- / -.. .. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. . - / .-. . --. .. -.-. . / .... .- ...- . / ... ..- --. .- .-. ..--..

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>>8855242
That's more of Sun's thing.
>>8855659
Sorry, today m-
>>8855797
Looks like we have something.
>Check the personnel files.

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>>8855777
the 1214th century
mkay

>>8855876
>taking a ray GM
have fun dying lol

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>>8855876
Did someone say "Sun"?

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>>8855859
>clank
A familiar spirit bound to the service of a wizard!

>>8855888
Indeed! 'Twas a glorious time! Except for the dying part. Rough Willy was a bit of a knob. I liked his bretheren much better.

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>>8855861
Because he was going to hyper beam me if i did not
it i simole answer
But regice seem to have calmed down

>>8855909
(That's the fun of it according to everyone. So it isn't that bad)

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>>8855963
.. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -.. . .- .-.. / .-- .. - .... / .-. . --. .. -.-. . .-.-.- / -. --- / - . -- .--. .-.. . / .. -. - . -. -.. . -.. / - --- / .... --- ..- ... . / -- -.-- / -.-. .... .. .-.. -.. .-. . -. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... . / ..-. .. .-.. .-.. . -.. / .-- .. - .... .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / --. .- .-. -... .- --. . .-.-.-
>remove all non fresh food from the house
>regidad: become the housemaid

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>>8855876
So... What is it about?
>Gooey adjusts her vest a little

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>>8855962
..I'm gonna pretend I understood that, and say..
Gotcha.

>>8855876
>Toshi: father of two, model officer. Barely failed the physical to get into SPAT, couldn't hustle in full gear for long enough.
>His specialty was on the Major Cases Unit. Ironically he's now in his own department's files as a suspect.
>His family lives in town.
>Tanya Greens, 29. Worked the beat, mostly narcotics and domestics.
> Reprimanded multiple times for injecting politics into her work. Noted for being highly outspoken against the victim.
>No known family in Unova.

>Teams are unknown at this time, further investigation needed to get that info (read: GM needs a sec to plan them out sorry)

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>>8855962
ye i bet didi likes the year 121400 too famalasada
howd you get back here in boring old 2017

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>>8855909
(If Anabel dies she dies. That's the point of picking up a fighting based character. I'll use my other characters more then.)
>>8855919
I did, how are you, Sun?
>>8856010
Unovan PD officers that killed one of the high ranking Unovan PD.
Guess we're starting you out heavy.
>>8856133
Alright, we're going to question Toshi's family first.
Tanya is going to be a problem... Hm... Sun?
>Head off to Toshi's house first.

>>8856226
(That's the spirit. Also it looks like you'll be headed to the DANGERZONE)

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>>8856132
...A creature that serves as a mentor and ally to magic users? Be that more clear?

>>8856203
It be a tale of valor and chivalry, an epic for the ages. Granted, I spend four or five of those ages being kept in a display case in a cave full of garbage by a seaweed monster. But it be a tale for the ale halls. Know only that I am Roth af Ira, son of Torbjorn af Ira! I seek to cleanse the world of the draconic scourge and avenge mine father! Seraph! Hath thoust seen any of the vile wyrms about?

>>8855797
>Meanwhile, at IP HQ
>A disheveled man carrying a bunch of paperwork overhears the situation from the desk
>He has an idea

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>>8856226
>Seems slightly nervous
...
>Follows

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>>8856226
I'm okay! Just woke up!
Yeah? Are we taking Nebby?
>Hop on the catte

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>>8856009
Alright i'm going to sleep try not to make a hole this temple still needs some privacy okay

>>8856226
>>8856336
> It's a condo in a decent area of town - not luxurious, but well-off enough.
> There's an exhausted-looking lady struggling to the door, and the sound of crying kids inside.

"Hello? C-Can I help you?"

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>>8856316
..I mean, I guess that fits the situation.
More or less, anyways.
>Cat: flop.

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>>8856316
nope. im poolkia. a water type. my brother is diolgo, a steel type, and my other brother is girotino, a ghost type.
no dragons here dude.

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>>8856302
(Woo.)
>>8856336
You'll be fine.
>>8856346
Sun, I need you to do something different.
>She hands Sun the file on Tanya Greens.
I need you to comb Unova for people matching this description. Do not engage anyone you find matching it, alright? I can pay you for your work.
>>8856355
Hello, miss. We're doing an investigation on the outstanding arrest for a... 'Toshi'? Has he had any contact with you?

>>8856355
>>8856431
>An old sedan screeches to halt nearby

>>8856431
>She tries to keep it together.
T-Toshi's my husband, ma'am, he... he came home on a tear a few nights ago, a-and grabbed his Pokemon and his camping gear and left...
I-I can't b-believe he... he...
>She breaks down crying.
>The kids aren't faring much better - they look to be maybe four and six respectively.

>>8856431
(I'm replying to you because y nut but this is mostly meant for ray. Is it possible to stop a target without actually killing them? As in neutralizing them by arresting them or something?)

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>>8856431
>Deep breath
>Tries to calm down a little
Yeah. I'll be fine.
>Lets Anabel do the talking

>>8856506
>>8856528
>Look of concern

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>>8856401
Hmm. Well, if thou seeist any dragons, attempt not to approach them. Tales of their direst cruelty and horrific black'nd hearts ring from Glasglow to Glomis, and I hath witnessed the depravity of their horrid lot first hand, as one struck down mine sire. Damn them all. May all their vile race be strung from the ramparts of Dunsinane!

...Well have thy self a nice evening Sir Poolkia.

>>8856388
>pet cat
Verily! Sir Pookia! Be this not the softest cat thou hast ever seen?

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>>8856506
...
>She eyes the sedan.
>>8856528
Ma'am. I'm going to need to get you to help me.
Do you know where your husband could have gone off to?
>She eyes the children.
...If you have a money problem I can give you something if it'll get you to be truthful with me.
>>8856567
(Anabel is still a cop so she's going to try and naturalize first.)
>>8856582
If you want to back out there isn't any problem in that.
Stay close to me, watch the sedan.

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>>8856582
>You see an unkempt man walking towards the house

>>8856528
Good afternoon lady, official IP business about a recent murder and...

>>8856431
...late, again.

>>8856567
( Yeah. There's plenty of ways to stop a guy that don't involve killing them. The simplest would be "knock down, cuff". Less-than-lethal tools, anything that incapacitates, would also be useful for this. Finally, I assume that Pokemon aren't aiming to kill unless they [or their Trainer if applicable] -specifically say they're aiming to kill-. )

>>8856567
You've been playing dishonered haven't you

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>>8856431
I get to do spy stuff too?? Yes! I'll make you proud Annie!
>Run off in a random direction
Um... I guess we can start by... getting a physical description!
>Of course, Sun is going to try and find her on Trainer's Book

>>8856684
>She chokes up a bit.
I-I don't know. He probably took off for t-the backwoods somewhere. H-he always loved to hike and camp...
I'm still in shock. I never thought my Toshi would...
>>8856699
>She looks up.
Y-yes?

>>8856582
>The kids look at Gooey oddly.
>It doesn't seem they've seen a Goodra before.

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>>8856388
>Comfiest cat.

>>8856594
>Miaou™
You know he's a dragon, right?

>>8856684
>>8856721
(Alrighty)
>>8856751
("Clean hands" is bs)

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>>8856684
>Tightens vest again, defensively
I'll be fine.
...
I hope.
>Watches the sedan...
>>8856699
>And the man that came out of it, I presume
>Watches him closely
...

>>8856772
>Wave to the kids

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>>8856594
mhmm tell me about it man
dragons
whats your shebang with dragons
tell me your knights tales

fluffy pussy
>pet the meowth
>>8856775
rude fampai
are you looking to become a wet pussy
im a water type

>>8856767
>7
>It takes you some time, and she's scrubbed some of her stuff. You do get, though, that she's about 5'8", somewhat heavy-set, and a natural redhead.
>She's also highly political. She ranted online at length about Catalyst, her now-dead boss, and the Unovan Revolt.
>You'll have to do more digging than TrainerBook to get more info.

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>>8856699
...What desk are you from?
>>8856767
Thank you, Sun. I know you'll make me proud.
>>8856772
Backwoods, I see.
Does he have a favorite camping spot? Or... Somewhere in the woods he goes to often? A camper van even? I could run plates if you have any pictures.
>>8856851
Don't keep it too tight. Did I ask you your name?
I'm Anabel, Chief of UB investigations.

>>8856852
lol so random

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>>8856905
Violent crimes, lady.
...well, was.

>>8856851
>You do see an Absol and a Stoutland inside the car.

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>>8856775
Haha! Your jests be the stuff of legend!

>>8856852
I 'twas once a proud soldier in a distant land. In death, mine mission of loyalty to my lord was such that not even the embracing eternity would hold me yet! I came as a Sheperd to mine allies and faced down the collectors of our wrath upon Normandy Coast!

...Unfortunately I suppose their own loyalty missions be not resolved as they all got a rather bad end...

>>8856905
H-he used to camp w-west of Virbank, b-but...
I don't think he'll be there. H-he works... worked, in the department that handles t-t-this sort of thing...
N-no camper van, just him a-and the P-Pokemon...

>>8856851
>Younger munchkin: distracted.
>He toddles up.
"Hi..."

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>>8856852
>Miaou™
You're too big and weird lookin to be JUST a water type. Gotta be like.. dragon, or steel, or something like that.

>>8856993
I ain't no court jester, Spades.

>>8856961
>Older kid walks up. She looks like she's heartbroken.
"When's my daddy homing home?"

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>>8856905
Alright.
My name is Gooey.

>>8856961
...
>Make eye contact with both of them, briefly

>>8857029
...
Hello.

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>>8856860
If I were a nasty Unovan ex police where would I hide...
I would hide....
In...
>Sun sits for a moment, concentration
Um...
Let's check...
The grocery stores!
Maybe someone there has seen her!
>Head on out to the nearest store
>Ask the cashier if they've seen anyone matching her description

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>>8857029
>Takes notes despite not even being directed at him

>>8857059
We will find soon, kid

>>8857080
>The Absol looks at you with distrust

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>>8856961
Were you assigned to this investigation?
Never mind, what's your name?
>>8857029
>She nods.
Hm... Can you give me a description of him and his pokemon?
>>8857080
You're doing fantastic, Gooey. Just remember the three Cs.
Calm, cool and collected. Careless, if you're going the route some people do.

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>>8857034
...I be a spade? How peculiar. I haven't tried jamming mine blade into the depths before. Wouldst that not soften it?

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>>8857187
Three Cs...calm, collected, cool.
>Makes a mental note
I'll keep those in mind.

>>8857152
...
>Wave at the absol
>Try to look non-hostile

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>>8856993
aw man
yours is cooler than mine
you see
we were two brothers
is two kept the heavens going and peaceful and bla bla shit
kinda got in an fight because he couldnt accept that im better than him at ruling and all that bla bla
it was nasty
he also kicked my ass back to earth
shit hurt, broke my gem, all that bisnasty
i played dead for a while
eventually he got lonely and sad and earth sucked for a bit
sent some mystic guy to go talk to him
it was pretty funny
>>8857034
hey , im just a mutated milotic.
look, big and pink water type.

>>8857382
lol so random

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>>8857187
Agent Walker, and if I my superior were not too stupid to realize he was being played I would be in this investigation and not assigned to paperwork hell.
...ran my mouth again.

>>8857350
>The Absol is trying to pierce you with his gaze
>The Stoutland waves back, though.

>>8857125
>5
>Sorry, kiddo. Doesn't look like she hit the grocery store on her way out.
>>8857080
>Small munchkin looks up.
"You're really tall..."
>>8857152
>Less-small munchkin tears up and nods.
"D-Dad did something really, really bad, didn't he?"
>>8857187
"H-He... he..."
>She hands over a family picture, which looks to be a year or so old.
>He's fit, 6'0" or so, and there's a Heliosk in the bottom of the shot with the kids.

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>>8857350
>She pats Gooey.
>>8857421
Got it, Mr. Walker.
A pleasure to meet you. Chief of UB investigations, Anabel.
Ana is fine if you want.
Do you have anything on this Toshi or a Tanya Greens?
>>8857433
>She notes this down.
Thank you very much.
We're going to scout the Virbank area now, have a good day, alright?
>She heads off to Virbank, still time to bother her if you want.

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>>8857382
..Eh, good enough for me.

>>8857331
..No I..
nevermind.
Yes that would mess up your blade.

>>8857526
lol so random

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>>8857433
... heck. Um.... Time to do this the sucky way!
>Pull out a phone book
>Time to see if we can find her (probably former) address in there

>>8857414
>>8857553
(Stop)

>>8857564
lol so random

>>8857578
lol so turts

>>8857562
>2
>Ding! You got it, she's listed.
>It's just across town, to the extent that physical distance eve nmatters for LA LIONA.

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>>8857421
>Nods to the stoutland
>Tilt head curiously at the absol

>>8857433
...
Yeah. I guess I am.

>>8857526
>Acknowledges the pat with a nod, then follow Anabelle

>>8857601
lol so liona

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>>8857382
Truly envy be the worst of all sins. Except murder. And rape. Genocide is pretty bad too. Even assault-

Envy is bad.

>>8857540
Hmm. Perhaps I lack sharpness. What good be I 'gainst dragons when I cannot even pierce stone without needing sharpening?

i want a rotom to break my legs and make me his personal sex slave

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>>8857673
That's kinda fucked up, pal, I'll do it! What's your credit card info?

>>8857673
same
maybe without the leg breaking though

>>8857689
>send credit card info
plz
>>8857699
plz

>>8857609
>>8857526
>The kiddos wave goodbye. Mom's too broken up right now.
>(GM note, I'm chuckling evilly right now.)

>>8857673
Same. Would be pretty great.

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>>8857526
>Immediately as Anabel mentions her position in the IP
The UB? I am sure you're aware of their origins, as weapons made by the remnants Aether Foundation in another...
...actually I'll talk about that later. Hello.

Apart the official IP files on them, nothing. I'm suspecting someone hid crucial info.
Mind if I follow you?

>>8857609
>Absol is still gazing into your soul

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>>8857718
>Empty his account out.
Sucker, this is way better than selling of Colress's sex tapes.

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>>8857601
There! We got something! Let's go, Nebby!
>La liona

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>>8857757
ew wtf
i didnt want to know dad had genitals
gross

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>>8857609
>>8857721
>Let's try and find this guy now.
>>8857746
UB weren't made by Aether, sir. They come from another-
Never mind, feel free to tag along.

>>8857762
>You arrive. The place looks to be trashed.
>It's going to take some careful detective work to find a clue in here: there's a laptop in the sink, a closet that's been ripped apart in a hurry, and various scattered papers.

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>>8857804
Hey! I never got you!
>Roll to bug Dave and Necrozma.

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>>8857650
..Do I need to go get the whetstones?
Or is that more of a hardness thing?

>>8857805
>Heading to Virbank, then.

>ENEMY ACTION: Rolling for Toshi and Tanya (last and second to last digits respectively) to cover more ground and/or more of their tracks.

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>>8857841
No, that indeed be sharpness. Mine hardness seldom changes.

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>>8857746
>Shiver slightly, the absol's eyes burning into her back
>Walk out of sight, hopefully

>>8857721
>Wave goodbye, as she heads to virbank with >>8857805

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>>8857805
That's what they want you to...
...lets just go.
>Follow, by car if needed

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>>8857858
>Toshi's covered his track a bit then I suppose?
>Salamence flies over the forest.
>Rolling to pick up a trail.
>>8857918
>>8857933
Let's get investigating.
I'm thinking he's camped out deep in the forest somewhere.
>Mission: Start.

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>>8857824
>Don the mittens
Hey Taeyo, think you can get a scan from the closet?

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>>8857916
..Hardness doesn't really change as far as I know, unless you like.. do.. something.
Probably.
I dunno I don't do metal crap.
>Catto: go get the rocks that sharpen swords for some reason

>>8858021
>1
>There's remnants of a few campfires, but it'll take time to figure out which one, if any, was his.
>( I couldn't have asked for better numbers: Toshi's supposed to be the more competent of the two fugitives. )

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>>8858096
Tempering. Tempering is the process used to remove hardness.

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>>8858021
Alright.
>Heads into the forest with Anabel

>>8858097
>Poke around ome of the sites nearby, looking for something that could be helpful in tracking them
>Due to lack of training with the sort of thing, she's not gonna make much progress with this

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>>8858021
>Stoutland and Absol get down of the car
Scott, you try sniffing the perp out.
Huxley, you stay close.
>The Absol is still looking at the Goodra with distrust
Easy Huxley, they're with us.

>>8858097
>Scott begins sniffing the campfires

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>>8858097
Hm... Campfires.
>Rolling to pick up on scraps of clothes or hair.
>Salamence flies overhead, looking for the perp.
>>8858153
You're doing great.
>>8858190
If you get any trails-
>She sends out Entei.
Entei can help you. Listen to Walker and his pokemon, alright?
>Entei is now temporarily under your command!
>Barring any attacks on Anabel, obviously.

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>>8857830
cool
i mean
youre a bit late but whatever
psychic twins gym already has a vidya of nec goin after my chest
guess someones gettin the full sex tape at some point

>>8858153
>Nope, can't tell one camper's site from another, but you can rule out a few that are too fresh.
>>8858221
>(one off from trips, I am so sorry)
>Nothing thus far - he must have cleaned up after himself pretty well.
>>8858190
>Ding!
>Good news, you've got the right campfire.
>Bad news, it's two, maybe three days old. He could have covered a fair bit of ground in that time.
>Still, a lead's a lead. No obvious trash left behind, but maybe there's other clues?

>>8858221
have fun getting cheated by ray

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>>8858138
>Rocks: got.
Nooo, making things harder, not softer.
now how do i work these things i wasn't paying attention when theta did it.

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>>8858221
>He seems kind of surprised at the sight of Entei
>He pulls out a notepad and starts scribbling on it
>"IP leadership <--> Johto E4 (confirm?)"
Astounding...

>>8858263
>Scott begins barking
Found something there?
>Examine the right campfire

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>>8858221
Uh...thanks?

>>8858190
>Wave to the absol again
Hey.

>>8858263
This looks a bit newer...
>Search for anything out of the ordinary

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>>8858266
(Ok.)
>>8858263
>(Rip me.)
>Rolling to sniff out a trail with Raikou.
>>8858381
...?

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>>8858347
Oh, wait, you want to do what? To soften you anneal, to harden you temper. As for the stones, they're operated by dragging a dulled blade across the grains.

>>8858381
>>8858385
>>8858413
>(all odds, why are dice so angry tonight)
>You get the bare minimum: He was here, he had a Heliolisk out of their Pokeball with him, and it looks like there's at least one other Pokemon's tracks in the dust heading north - but they've been scuffed over with a branch.

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>Attempt to smoke beans.
>Rolling for what the effect is.

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>>8858501
Oh god it's horrible.
>Burn beans to the dice gods.
>Strip naked and do a dance around the fire.
>Rolling for if the dice gods are pleased.

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>>8858522
ok
i think faba needs an intervention

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>>8858522
>Scarfed Man In Amazing Disguise: have a moment of moral weakness and try to steal the beans. All the beans.

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>>8858535
NO.
>>8858537
>HISS
>THROW BEANS AT MAN
>ROLL TO RUN.

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>>8858491
>>8858413
We are barely going down the rabbit hole.
Scott, try to get a lead on the tracks?

>>8858385
>The Absol seems more relaxed now
>He waves back

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>>8858555
>Faba falls straight on the ground.
>Beans pour out of his [redacted].
>Take them, I dare you.

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>>8858501
>>8858522
What the fuck.

>>8858555
>>8858569
What the ACTUAL fuck.
How in the hell is he still employed

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>>8858432
...Nyeaaaah I'm just..gonnaaa..not.
>Casually deposit rocks in sheath
>Because why not
I'll let that be Theta's thing.
Don't wanna screw up your blade thing.

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>>8858569
. . .
Buddy, I lived in fucking Orre for too long. I will steal your beans and your goddamn shoes, eat them, and like it.
>Ollie: grab the beans, all the beans.
>And Faba's shoes.

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>>8858555
i stg man if you have a bean onahole or a bean dildo im fuckig done

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>>8858611
...need an evac?

>>8858559
>9
>Canine Pokemon, and big. Very big.
>The tracks lead north a fair way - he went well into the backwoods, past Floccesy Ranch. At that rate he could have hit Route Six by now on foot.

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>>8858491
>>8858658
Tracks. Alright.
>Raikou sniffs them.
>Rolling to get a lead.
>Dice, plz.
>>8858559
>Consider not telling him you have Suicune lest you blow his mind.
How's it going on over there?

>>8858663
(That's it I'm killing myself, goodbye PAR.)
(Not really but, fuck.)

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>>8858632
>Ollie refuses to leave empty-handed even though he can't hold all these beans.

I got this shit...
>Ollie: take off scarf, use it to hold beans.
>He lets out his Frillish, Rainmaiden - who proceeds to camp out on his head for some reason not at all related to his player not wanting to reveal what's under his scarf yet.
>Ollie: use your Secret Weapon to evac yourself - the Other Jelly.

>>8858663
>3
>You've got a direction, and several different but hard to distinguish scents. One's definitely the Heliolisk, and there's at least one other Pokemon there. The ashy smell suggests a Fire-type, but something about the scent indicates a Bug-type with the group as well...

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>>8858658
>Scott is barking into the distance
>Very into the distance

>>8858663
At this rate he may have almost given us the slip. We will need to be fast.

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>>8858559
>Try talking with them
...
I'm gooey. Nice to meet you.

>>8858658
>Gooey tries to follow the trail, and get a lead using her senses
>Should have a decent sense of smell or something, since real life slugs have that

>>8858663
Okay, I guess?
Any luck?

>>8858773
>Alright, I'll give you one more piece of info in addition the the guy heading north past the ranch: there's another scent in with the mix - a Dark-type of some variety.
>>8858770
>Ding, you got a trail. Looks like he wasn't careful enough.
>Follow it?

>( I'm willing to pick this up later if anyone's getting sleepy rl, but I'm good for another hour at least if not. )

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>>8858729
A Volcarona?
Maybe just a fire type and a bug type...
>>8858770
>>8858773
Come on, we're heading up north.
>>8858867
(I'm fine to stay as long as my family doesn't explode into an argument. If I disappear feel free to continue without me. I'll try not to though.)

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>>8858867
That's an odd scent...
Not sure what pokemon.

>>8858891
Alright. North we go.
>Follow the trail

>>8858680
(Don't joke about that stuff. It gives me a slight anxiety attack)

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>>8858773
Huxley: Hello. Sorry about what happened but you smelled of disaster.

>>8858867
>Scott is outright pointing now

>>8858891
Volcarona...
>Flip through notepad
>Stops in a page scribbled with notes about the Desert Resort civilization, Solrock and the Unovan Government
Nevermind, lets go.

>>8858930
>>8858891
>Looks like he got sloppier, and possibly slower, as he went north. The trail gets steeper, and the broken underbrush betrays the passing of someone who gave up stealth entirely past the first few hundred feet from the campsite.
>He can't be too far, he wasn't moving very fast...
>Rolling for a hidden effect.

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>>8858983
Alright. Nice to meet you, Huxley.
>Smiles
...
What does disaster smell like, by the way? I'm curious.

>>8858984
>Start moving faster, the trail more defined now
Is he in a hurry? This all looks fresher.

>>8858984
>Hidden effect: He apparently saw fit to waste time setting up a booby-trap for would-be pursuers as a supple branch with nails taped to it springs back at whoever's leading the way.
>If it's Scott or Huxley, it sails over their heads. In any case, it's another thing to investigate.

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>UNIT ONE: BE THE CURIOUS BUG >EVENS SNEAKY CHECK WHATS IN COLRESS' BACK POCKET
>ODSS ACCIDENTALLY THE BUTT GROPE

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>>8859067
>Gay science noise.
Unit One what are you doing?

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>>8859078
.... HELLO COLRESS
>ATTEMPT TO REMOVE HAND FROM POCKET

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>>8859101
Are you trying to pickpocket me?
>Hand Unit One his wallet.
This is all that's back there. I don't keep candy on me like Gladion and Diamond.

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>>8858984
>Riding Entei, following Scott
This is getting too easy...

>>8859056
>>8859045
WATCH OUT

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>>8859152
>>8859056
Crap-
>Attempt to duck under board

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>>8858930
>>8858983
If I had to hesitate a guess it's Volcarona or... Shedinja and...
>She pauses trying to think of fire types.
Fuck. Blaziken, probably.
Anyone pick up any other scents?
>>8858984
>>8859056
Son of a bitch.
>Check the site for clues.
>>8859169
>Apply potion to Gooey.
Are you okay?

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>>8859139
MAYBE
WHAT ARE WALLETS FOR
>HAND: STILL STUCK IN THE POCKET?
>SNOOP THROUGH THE WALLET ANYWAY

>>8859152
>2
>Lucky, it whiffs but barely.
>>8859169
>It hits - but it's not a tough enough trap to inflict more than a few minor injuries to you.
>>8859182
>Definitely fresh-ish work. This took a lot of time, and a human could have been seriously injured by it.
>Looks like Toshi was busy.
>Also, you've got tracks with that 2. Big, canine tracks.

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>>8859169
>Take out a satchel of herbal medicine

>>8859182
>But Ana was faster
I don't trust the chemicals in these sprays, and neither should you.
...nevermind, I was thinking it could be some other kind of stolen police pokemon.

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>>8859192
I mostly use it for cards and my IDs. Other humans put their money in there and small keepsakes in some cases.

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>>8859169
>>8859213
>Slapped in the face
>A few nails stick
Ow...
>Pulls nails out

>>8859182
>Puncture wounds start to close.
I'll be fine. Thanks.
At least he wasted his time setting that up.

>>8859213
>Examine the tracks closely, attempting to discern their owner

>>8859231
Uh...they seem to be perfectly safe.

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>>8859213
Canine. Mightyena or Lycanroc...
>Follow the tracks.
>>8859231
>>8859262
Come on, let's hurry this up.

>>8855657
At least that pornposting Glaceon isn't here this time

>>8859309
incoming samefag

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>>8859262
Agent Walker: You can never know what they put in them. It has been confirmed that Froakie in Kalos are turning gay because of xenoestrogen runoffs from KIC pharmaceutical factories.

Huxley: Disaster smells like disaster. Sometimes to come, and sometimes in the past. You smell more like old disaster than future disaster, but you still do.

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>>8859232
INTERESTING
>DATABASE: UPDATED
>RETURN WALLET
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER POCKETS?
>STICK "HAND" IN A FRONT POCKET
>ODDS AND HE ACCIDENTALLY THE ENTIRE GROPE
>>8859309
(Plz no, mentioning people is how you summon them)

>>8859289
>Well, you're close to the right track, pardon the pun.
>>8859262
>Ding ding ding. It's over five foot at the shoulder, canine, and left scorch marks.

>You're getting close, working into the foothills of the mountains now.
>Hidden roll....

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>>8859331
>Very gay science noise.
Ah- That's where I keep my dex.
>He pulls it out along with U1's "hand".

>>8859309
he was an okay guy

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>>8859289
Agreed.
>Speed up again, aiming to catch up with him

>>8859329
...
...
...
>Stares at him
Uh...okay.
Okay then.
>To huxley
Yeah, my past was sort of...filled with that. But well, it's the past.

>>8859351
Fire type, canine...
>Turns to anabel
Any idea?

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>>8859351
>>8859289
Maybe Houndoom?
>Go faster

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>>8859351
>>8859381
>>8859384
Alright, let's keep going.
>She keeps following
>>8859381
>>8859384
...Houndoom or... Entei.
>She fiddles with an Ultra Ball.
This is going to be interesting.

>>8859384
>>8859381
>Hidden Roll: Odds
>You hear a loud lizard screech, not too far from you.
>A flash of yellow disappears into the underbrus, and then the sounds of groggy panic start.
>( You get the first combat move: evens meant he'd spot you first. )

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>>8859402
How strong do you think they are-

>>8859424
...
>Cold air collects around her mouth
>Gooey walks forward cautiously, towards the underbrush
>Will ice beam the first enemy she sees

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>>8859424
>Calcing Heliolisk as a LV100.
>This can be considered a warning shot if you want.
>Weavile uses Icicle Crash.
This is a bust, hands up!
252 Atk Life Orb Weavile Icicle Crash vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Heliolisk: 234-277 (88.3 - 104.5%) -- 31.3% chance to OHKO

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>>8859402
Another Entei...
>Make a mental note to write that in the notepad

>>8859424
FREEZE SCUMBAG
>Huxley: uses Sword Dance
>Scott: uses Pursuit

>>8859510
>And that would be Toshi's Arcanine (L50, offensive)!
>0 SpA Goodra Ice Beam vs. 0 HP / 4 SpD Arcanine: 42-50 (25.4 - 30.3%) -- guaranteed 4HKO
>>8859537
>Loud Swearing Sounds
>"What the fuck!?"
>He's certainly awake now, albeit half-dressed and disheveled.

>Arcanine uses Crunch on Gooey!
> [ 252 Atk Life Orb Arcanine Crunch vs. 252 HP / 0 Def Goodra: 51-60 (18.2 - 21.5%) -- possible 5HKO ]
>Heliolisk uses Thunder [misses on 2] on Huxley!
>[ calc as L50, 252SpA ]

>>8859614
>ignoring SB
ray for fucks sake

>>8859571
>Forgot calc in rush to reply in a timely fashion, here it is., sorry.
>[ 252 SpA Heliolisk Thunder vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Absol: 126-148 (90 - 105.7%) -- 37.5% chance to OHKO ]

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>>8859537
Lady, you forgot to tell me Entei's moves!
>Apparently, Walker lacks a dex

>>8859644
>Huxley is reeling
>If 0,1,2 or 3 he is knocked out

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>>8859614
>Crunch digs into her chest, elicting a grunt of pain from Gooey
>Hp: 78.5
>She attempts to retaliate with a dragon pulse

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>>8859614
Hands up, Toshi! I will use force!
>Raikou stands between them and roars at Toshi and his mons!
>Weavile goes for Knock Off!
252 Atk Life Orb Weavile Knock Off (97.5 BP) vs. 0 HP / 4 Def Arcanine: 370-437 (224.2 - 264.8%) -- guaranteed OHKO
>>8859732
Are you qualified for this? Level 90 with Sacred Fire, Flare Blitz, Extreme Speed and Stone Edge and a Choice Band!
(This setup if you need it. Entei @ Choice Band
Ability: Pressure
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Sacred Fire
- Flare Blitz
- Extreme Speed
- Stone Edge)

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>>8859755
(I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF.)
>Raikou squeaks pathetically.
>Weavile knocks itself off.
>If I get trips 7 I'm shooting myself.

>>8859732
>Scrambling in the bushes.
>>8859737
>Arcanine leaps back to evade, then charges in with Flare Blitz! (Last digit)
>[ 252 Atk Life Orb Arcanine Flare Blitz vs. 252 HP / 0 Def Goodra: 55-66 (19.7 - 23.6%) -- possible 5HKO ]

>>8859755
>Toshi panics a little.
I was just following orders, goddammit!
>Heliolisk uses Thunder [6 or 8 miss] on Weaville! (Second to last digit )
> [ 252 SpA Heliolisk Thunder vs. 0 HP / 4 SpD Weavile: 54-64 (21.3 - 25.2%) -- 0.1% chance to 4HKO ]

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>>8859732
>Huxley down
>Walker is frantically searching in his medicine satchel

>>8859614
>Scott uses Retaliate on Heliolisk (last digit)

>>8859755
...I'm afraid I don't know.
>He attempts anyway
Entei, Stone Edge on the Arcanine (second to last digit)

>>8859834
>Roll to detect scrambling in the bushes (third to last digit)

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>>8859834
>[HP][54.9%]
>Goo sizzles on her chest, the vest burned a little
>Groans
>Air ripples around her mouth, and she lets off another dragon pulse, angrily aimed at the Arcanine

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>>8859834
Toshi! Stand down immediately!
Thorpe was following orders and he's in a goddamn grave now!
>Weavile goes for Knock Off!
252 Atk Life Orb Weavile Knock Off (97.5 BP) vs. 0 HP / 4 Def Arcanine: 370-437 (224.2 - 264.8%) -- guaranteed OHKO

>>8859864
> 0 Atk Stoutland (No Move) vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Heliolisk: 144-169 (105.1 - 123.3%) -- guaranteed OHKO
> Heliolisk is down for the count.
> 252+ Atk Entei Stone Edge vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Arcanine: 422-498 (255.7 - 301.8%) -- guaranteed OHKO
> Arcanine is blasted back, hard, and doesn't get back up.

>Bush Rustling: it's Toshi, trying to slip away.

>>8859895
>It lands between the Arcanine and the next two Pokemon Toshi sends out - an Absol and a Shedinja!

>>8859903
>Also, close but no dice.
I was given a direct command by a superior officer! Get a fucking confession! How was I to know he'd croak rather than squeal!?

>Absol [50] uses Night Slash on Entei! (last digit)
>[ 252 Atk Absol Night Slash vs. 4 HP / 0 Def Entei: 40-48 (11.9 - 14.3%) -- possible 7HKO }
>Shedinja uses X-Scissor on Weaville! (2nd to last digit)
>[ 252 Atk Muscle Band Shedinja X-Scissor vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Weavile: 134-158 (52.9 - 62.4%) -- guaranteed 2HKO ]

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>>8859961
>Stop fiddling with the herbal medicine
FREEZE, DAMNIT. Leave the excuses for later!
>Chase and try to tackle Toshi

>Entei uses Stone Edge on Shedinja

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>>8859961
I knew it was a goddamn Shedinja!
Walker, burn that thing immedately!
>Weavile is returned.
>Suicune is sent out.
>Suicune uses Hydro Pump on Arcanine.
>Raikou roars again!
>>8859998
Good work, Walker.
Gooey, can you assist Walker?
>Turn on head set and call in backup.

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>>8860026
>Nods

>>8859961
>Breathes in
>Uses fire blast on the shedinja

>>8860026
252 SpA Suicune Hydro Pump vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Arcanine: 536-632 (324.8 - 383%) -- guaranteed OHKO
Forgot calcs rip

>>8859998
>Toshi's tackled, but he's not going down without a fight.

>And Shedinja falls down goes boom.

>>8860026
>>8860052
>Absol's the only Pokemon still up so I'll calc these against them instead.
>[ 0 SpA Goodra Fire Blast vs. 0 HP / 4 SpD Absol: 129-152 (92.1 - 108.5%) -- 50% chance to OHKO ]
> [ 0 SpA Suicune Hydro Pump vs. 0 HP / 4 SpD Absol: 315-372 (225 - 265.7%) -- guaranteed OHKO ]
>That Absol sensed its own imminent beatdown right before being sent out.

>All Pokemon are down, now it's just you and Toshi.

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>>8860092
>Don't let go Toshi
Scott help me here with this crook!
>The Stoutland comes and attempts to push Toshi into the mud

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>>8860092
Walker, Gooey, on Toshi. Watch out for any bullshit surprises.
>Raikou closes in and Anabel follows.
Hands up, Toshi, give up.

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>>8860168
>Nods

>>8860145
>Gooey aids in pinning Toshi down
Well...at least nobody died.

>>8860168
G-God... dammit...
fuck... L-look, this was the now-probably-former police chief's operation from the start. I-I thought Thorpe would confess then recant before trial, and w-when the order came down... I fucking followed it, dammit...
>He stops struggling and surrenders.
>A-at least don't hold this against the Pokemon, I snatched them on my way out, alright?
>He looks at his demolished team, sprawled in the bushes, and beneath the trees.

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>>8860145
>>8860249
Alright, let him up and hold him, I'll cuff him.
>>8860261
Look, Toshi. I know where you're coming from.
It's still murder.
But I can talk about something with the interpol if you give what you know to the police.
I'm not the type to call pokemon in for jail, we'll take them to a rehabilitation.
>Rolling for response time on that backup.

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>>8860249
>>8860261
...
>Gather up the fainted pokemon
>Set them down near a tree
So...you blindly followed orders?
Without questioning them?

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>>8860261
Excuses! You truly are unable to think for yourself.
>Get back to Huxley and feed him a Revival Herb

>>8860306
Fine... the order came down from Gunderson himself. I wouldn't know if he's already been detained - I panicked and ran the minute Thorpe flat-lined.

>>8860307
>Look up at judgy-sounding slugdragon sounds.

>>8860323
What was I supposed to do!? Break ranks and join Thorpe in the spare chair? Tanya was way too fucking happy to be interrogating Thorpe as it was.

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>>8860307
Toshi doesn't have a translator, Gooey.
>>8860372
No clue what porker's status is, definitely not in our goddamn office anymore.
Listen, you spill this to the police and I can see about making sure you're out before your youngest has started school.
>She cuffs him.
Gooey was asking you why you were blindly following orders without questioning them.
Why so?
Oh, and tell me about Tanya, what am I going to expect from her? Guns? Bombs?

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>>8860372
>Taking notes in the notepad
Tanya... you will tell us more about her. Now.

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>>8860372
...

>>8860442
Oh. Right.
I keep forgetting that humans can't understand me without a translator...
>Sighs
I'm a bit worried about what this Tanya might be packing.

>>8860442
>>8860450
>Toshi: sing like a Fletchling.
I did what I did because I felt compelled to.
I thought the boss knew what he was doing, had a master plan, right up until I was too deep in to back out.
I was too far gone to back out anymore.
Tanya Greens... she fucking enjoyed it. She wanted to make Thorpe suffer, some sort of personal grudge.
She's no survivalist, and she won't stand and fight unless she's got her back to the wall, but she's sneakier than you'd expect. I know she's got three Pokemon - two birds of some kind, and a Floatzel.

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>>8860541
You're okay, don't worry.
>She pets Gooey.
Good work, how are you feeling about your first case?
>>8860557
>She sighs and notes this down
Two birds and a Floatzel, got it.
Do you have any idea where Tanya would be? Even a hunch, anything would help, Toshi.

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>>8860557
>Notes taken
And now you're even worse than if you tried to stop being a mindless Mareep.

>>8860619
>Toshi keeps singing.
Knowing her, she'll have fled the Region by now.
I'm trying to remember what her Pokemon were, one of the birds was really colorful, with a green head...
>>8860687
Do you want the fucking info, or not?

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Hello. We use images to show who we are, correct?
I have a question for you all, what does consciousness mean to you?

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>>8860731
It means the self and all inputs from the shell.

>>8860731
If you mean medical terms, well, that's obvious.
If you mean philosophical shit, the ability to think and act of your own accord, not instinctually, but manually.
Or something like that, hell if I know.

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>>8860717
>More notes taken
Then we will track her whenever she is. Better than the paperwork.
If you have anything else to say, spill it.

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>>8860743
Interesting reply.
>>8860771
I can rig up a very complex set of tin cans and they will react of their own accord if you bump into them.
Are they conscious?

>>8860798
You missed the thinking part, Einstein.

>>8860774
Y-yeah.
Putting baby in the corner's going to be a fucking pain since at least one of the birds knows Fly, but she's a loudmouth and a shitty fighter. Maybe you can use that to your advantage.
>Toshi sighs.
Can you tell my kids I'm sorry?

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>>8860717
Natu family... Yanma family... Tropius... Acheops? Hawlucha?
If she's the type I think it must be a Xatu.
Any of those names ring a bell?
Anything else for us?
>>8860856
Yes we can.
Come on, let's get you to the station.

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>>8860826
I assumed that was a nonpoint since you cannot distinguish if tin cans are thinking.
Can you distinguish what organisms can think purely by observation?

>>8860866
>Toshi's memory is successfully jogged.
Y-yeah, they are. Xatu and Natu, I always confuse the two. Psychic-Flying. The other bird's got at least two Fighting moves, if that helps.
>(GM note: Checkin' dem digits.)

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>>8860856
>The notes don't stop
I will tell the kids that their father made a grave mistake.

>>8860866
Ugh, Psychic types. Don't like them.
>Looks to Huxley
But at least I have my partner here.

>>8860887
..It's a can.
Cans can't think.
It's a sheet of metal bent into a cylinder.

>>8860887
how many darkrais are you on senpai
sounds like at least three my man

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>>8860912
Fucking psychic types.
Thank you. Come on, let's get you taken in.
(Appreciated.)
>>8860920
Yep. Probably going to ask Gooey to sit out tomorrow's investigation, I don't want Tanya turning Gooey against us.
(If anyone needs to head off to bed use this as your opportunity, I'm going to head off soon.)

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>>8860929
Are you sure of this?
What makes the pokemon Magnemite capable of thought?
Is a can not capable of the same thing by the rules of this world?

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>>8860930
i 4got how many
moar than you
watch this

>>8860974
>( GM Ray here, calling it a night. You'll be saying "FUCKING PSYCHIC TYPES" at least once more during this, but maybe not for the reasons you're expecting. )

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>>8861002
bithc you guessed it

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>>8860974
Don't even get me started on the Alakazam cabal leading all the regions Elite 4.
Going to the station with you, boss will not be happy I left the paperwork desk.

(Also dropping off soon)
(Good night)

>>8860992
Yes.
It has a brain.
No.

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>>8860992
A can doesn't react aside from rolling inanimately when I poke it.
If I tried that with a Magnezone I'd get a Thunder Wave to the beak and angry beeping.
Still, the definition of consciousness is hard...
I can't help but like the simple, if not entirely all-encompassing "I think therefore I am".

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>>8861091
>>8861124
Very good, very good.
I will need time to process this.
Logging off..._

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>>8861063

>>8861134
Later, AM.

>>8861177
not angery enough to be am

>>8861238
Give him time.
It'll happen.

>>8861290
if we keep shitposting them then deffo

>>8861302
Good, lets push his buttons.

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>>8858609
>sord: get rocked
>thud, sword on ground
Thank ye for thy aid!

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Bumpeth

happy 420 par I love you

If pokemon were real we'd have machines potentially capable of cellular regeneration beyond Star Trek's shit, the ability to create fully digital and cybernetic life forms, and possibly matter-to-light/light-to-matter technology.

>>8862859
And that would be hella cool.

>>8862915
FUCK YEAH! Also we'd have confirmed alien lifeforms, potentially confirmed life after death, and shittons of alternate, natural energy sources.

How would you police the bestiality though?

>>8862731
Love you more

>>8863129
That's what consent is for.

>>8863129
This>>8863357

>>8863129
You wouldn't

Thread = Ded

Hello /par/. Odd question it may be, but do you ever get a sudden feeling of dread without reason?

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>sableye is thinking loudly
It was all in my imagination
There is no egg
I was thinking there was
>she gets sad
Yeah i must accept that
I will try to be strong
I'll train more

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>>8864768
(Drink)

>>8864768
>>8864778
All the time whats up dudemigo?

>>8864768
>>8864778
Not usually.

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>>8864772
>Attempt to squint through the type immunity and communicate psychically.
>...Hello..?

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>>8865187
Not much in the line of actual activity. Mostly just sitting in bed and lurking the thread. Hence the feeling of dread seemed particularly out of place.
I presume you are doing something more interesting than I?
>>8865238
Hmm. Is it something I should be worried about? I merely brushed it off.

>>8865241
>attempt to unsquintify rock

>>8865279
That's pretty strange actually maybe just keep it considered?. I haven't done much interesting today got up to feed my Nincadas, Ninjask and Shedinja

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>>8865284
>Centauri's eyes go wide open and stare directly at anon.
>...

>>8865350
cute
ok im satisfied
>pet rock and go

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>>8865301
I'll keep it in mind. I am hoping that this is just some form of anxiety acting up, rather than telepathic powers or psychic feedback from Zekrom.
Do you breed Nincadas?

>>8865361
Hope nothing bad happens.
Used to haven't been feeling great the last few weeks. Nincadas are super sweet if you ever want a decent bug type all they need are some berries and either some attention from the trainer or some members of their own line and they're happy.

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>>8865241
>she doesn't see him talking but notoces him
What do you want?

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>>8865383
As do I.
I've found that, as a general rule, Bug types tend to be the Pokémon that most desire affection out of all domestic Pokémon. I would presume that this is related to the aversion most people have towards them.
Do you have experience with other big types, or is it just Nincada?
>>8865389
(Gr8. Shit day: get shittier. If anyone needs me I'll be locating the nutmeg.)

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>>8865433
>Solsquint.
>...You...seemed...upset,..we...came...here...to...try...and...comfort...you...

>Centauri I don't think they can hear us, they're a Dark type, remember?
>I'll look around to see if I can find someone to speak for us.
>Proxima searches around psychically for something that isn't a Dark type.

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>>8865516
You can't talk?
and why do you keep squinting at me?
I won't bite
I'm not hungry abd you two don't look tasty

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>>8865441
I specialize in the Nincada family primarily but if you need any tips on any other bug types I can give it a shot.
Bug types have a really high desire for affection so most of them are really affectionate when you get them comfortable with you.

>>8865644
how would a bug type: full act

Threads slower than my mild autism

>>8865720
(This threads going so slow people won't know I'm secretly str8)

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>>8865644
I think you'll find that I am perhaps the most well versed human around when it comes to Pokémon. However, should I fail to recall something or come across something I don't know I will be sure to consult you on the matter.
>>8865718
The Fulls act the same regardless of the equipped memory, anon.
>>8865720
Apologies, but it appears there are only... two to three people awake. Perhaps post as well if you wish the thread to go faster?
>>8865746
(I'll know anon, I'll know.)