ITT: Pokemon are real. How has your Easter been? Rules/Inf

>>8799100
ehh

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>>8799057
Nope, I'm fine.
Are you alright?

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>>8799100
I spent every free moment possible shitposting in here. So pretty great,

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>>8799100

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>>8799100
I have, for the most part, been sitting and lurking.

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>>8798987
>>8799057
>Icegrunt is bathed in a blood red light.
>He locks eyes with Orrefag and Kol for a moment before darting deeper into the cave.

>>8799100
icegrunt a best

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>>8799179
Same here, sir.
We had a visitor drop by. Asked Seb a few questions and hopped off.
Not sure who he's working for now, if anyone - the gentleman he used to answer to is no longer with us.

>>8799100
( Pretty good. Family time, quiet afternoon, good dinner. Should be a pleasant evening as well.)

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>>8799004
>Hit.
Lucario, come on.
>Close Combat again!
252 Atk Adaptability Lucario-Mega Close Combat vs. 80 HP / 0 Def Klinklang: 504-596 (179.3 - 212%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>8799137
Yeah, fine. This fucking guy.
You need a break?
>>8799219
>Crobat swoops down the cave after him.
>Orrefag follows him deeper in.

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>>8799179
Similarly. Also working ion a few changes to the station because of the new team member.

>>8799357
They were all questions about the mass mindwipe. I didn't tell him more than what he needed to know, mostly because he left in a hurry. Pretty strange, he could have asked me much earlier.

>>8799100
(Alone because of distance issues)

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>>8799409
Does Lucario need glasses...?
>Sun's Volcarona uses Fiery Dance on Marowak! Evens six and above its Sp Atk goes up by one!
+2 252 SpA Volcarona Fiery Dance vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Marowak: 324-382 (124.1 - 146.3%) -- guaranteed OHKO
>Klinklang goes for Shift Gears!
>Marowak uses Swords Dance!

fire and ice plot a best

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>>8799219
>Worried bug noises.

>>8799447
Good to hear you're okay.
I do really need a break...be careful, alright?
>Kol touches the button on his Pokeball and returns safely inside it.

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>>8799538
...
Lucario, please, just hit.
252 Atk Adaptability Lucario-Mega Close Combat vs. 80 HP / 0 Def Klinklang: 504-596 (179.3 - 212%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>8799447
>>8799573
>He stops a ways away.
>You can see metal glint in his hands.
Stop following me or I'll blow your goddamn brains out.

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>>8799357
Ah. I see.... Well. Hopefully he finds what he is searching for.
>>8799524
New team member? Who might this be?

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>>8799573
Alright, sleep tight, Kol.
>>8799635
>Orrefag pulls the detective special from his bag.
>Two shots.
>Aim at his arm.
>Fire.

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>>8799590
>Klinklang and Marowak are down
>Opponent 1 sends out Ninetales (A)
>Ninetales' Snow Warning kicked up a Snow Storm!
>Ninetales uses HP Fire on Lucario! (Last Number)
252 SpA Ninetales-Alola Hidden Power Fire vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Lucario-Mega: 128-152 (45.5 - 54%) -- 94.5% chance to 2HKO after hail damage

>Opponent 2 sends out Forretress!
>Forretress uses Gyro Ball on Volcarona! (Second to last number)
4 Atk Forretress Gyro Ball (150 BP) vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Volcarona: 105-124 (33.7 - 39.8%) -- guaranteed 3HKO

>Sun's Volcarona uses Fiery Dance on Forretress! (Sum of the last two numbers?)
+3 252 SpA Volcarona Fiery Dance vs. 252 HP / 0 SpD Forretress: 2032-2392 (574 - 675.7%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>8799653
That would be a Shieldon. Little guy needs help getting around the stairs and steps so I have been working on on a few ramps. Still needs a name as well.

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>>8799701
>BANG.
Don't shoot a fucking gun in a cave you fuckin' psycho!
>He fires back and ducks behind a rock.
>It'll only hit on dubs.

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>>8799906
>Miss.
>Thank god.
>M. Aggron steps toward the guy
>He rolls to smash the rock.

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Which evolution of Eevee is best for sex? I need to know for research reasons.

>>8799906
>throw water at

>>8800082
None of them.

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>>8800016
>SMAASH.
Fuckin'-
>Rolling to scramble away.

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>>8800151
>Odd.
>Shoe on the other foot now.
>Aggron grabs Icegrunt and tries to pull the gun out of his hand.

>>8800126
This

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>>8799809
>Miss.
>Mega Lucario is returned.
>Snorlax is sent out.
>Fire Punch on Alolafox.
252+ Atk Choice Band Snorlax Fire Punch vs. 0 HP / 4 Def Ninetales-Alola: 302-356 (105.2 - 124%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>8800245
>Icegrunt is panicking.
>He swings his gun at the side of Aggron's head.
>Odds and he drops it.

>>8800082
Vaporeon 100%
Always wet kek

weed

>>8800406
Nah nig. You ain't doing it right

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>>8800329
>Aggron holds Icegrunt tightly.
>Orrefag picks up the dropped gun.
Nice. Mauser? Never seen one before.
>He calls up Hilbert.
Hey Hilbert? I got our guy. Can you get down to these coordinates? Figured you might want to help with the questioning.
>Send 'em over.

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>>8800297
>Volcarona missed!
>Volcarona tries again for Fiery Dance on Forretress again! (Sum of the last two numbers)

>Forretress goes for another Gyro Ball on Volcarona! (Second to last number)

>Alolan Ninetales goes for a Moonblast on Snorlax! (Last Number)
252 SpA Ninetales-Alola Moonblast vs. 4 HP / 252 SpD Snorlax: 84-100 (18.1 - 21.6%) -- 15.1% chance to 4HKO after hail damage

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>>8800082
If "best for sex"
Is what you're using to choose which evolution
You're doing something wrong
Just saying

>>8800449
>Squint
Then what is your purpose?

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>>8800447
These freakin' pokemon! Get KOed already!
>Fire Punch on Alolafox.
252+ Atk Choice Band Snorlax Fire Punch vs. 0 HP / 4 Def Ninetales-Alola: 302-356 (105.2 - 124%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>8800446
Alright. I'm in Unova, but I'll see what I can do.
>Click
... fuuuuuuuuck. How am I going to...
>Hilbert ponders the situation for a second
Got it.
>Teleport outside of the cave with a UB, walk the remaining distance

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>>8800533
What is the purpose of YOUR self?

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>>8800446
>He sputters.
Fuck you, that's my Mauser.
Fucker.
>>8800588
>He attempts to wave the new arrival over.
Help.

>>8800611
Shitposting until the heat death of the universe.
What's yours.

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>>8800588
Damn you made it fast. You have a private jet, Hilbs?
>He laughs.
This guy was a bitch and a half to get a hold of.
>He pulls the magazine out of the mauser and sticks them in his backpack.
>>8800625
Tell us why you wanted to whack the old dude.

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>>8800533
You mean besides being a decent battler, cute as heck, and a great general companion?
You seem like you don't have a healthy thing going with your Pokemon with that attitude
Also I'm already going steady with someone before you ask

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>>8799100
fantastic
was with someone the whole day

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>>8800534
.... I think Helios needs glasses.
>Rolling yet again for Fiery Dance on Forretress

>Forretress is rolling yet again for Gyro Ball on Volcarona

>Alolafox is KO'd, opponent 1 sends out Glaceon
>Glaceon uses HP Fighting!
252+ SpA Choice Specs Glaceon Hidden Power Fighting vs. 4 HP / 252 SpD Snorlax: 160-190 (34.6 - 41.1%) -- guaranteed 3HKO

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>>8800625
Help? Yes, I'm sure that's what Chris and Edward said, too.
>>8800660
>Hilbert chuckles in return
You could say that.
You'll have to tell me about it sometime.
>He leans back, seeing no reason to interject at the moment.

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>>8800704
Let's get our pokemon's vision checked after this.
>Fire Punch again.
252+ Atk Choice Band Snorlax Fire Punch vs. 0 HP / 4 Def Glaceon: 220-260 (81.1 - 95.9%) -- guaranteed 2HKO

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>>8800660
I had to. It was part of the job.
Piss off. Just kill me.
>>8800749
Fuck-
>He sputters.
Off.
>He struggles against the Aggron's grip.

>>8800449
I'm planning on writing a book about sexual relationships between trainers and Eevee evolutions. I'm limited on resources to get every Eevee out there and I doubt that asking people on the street is a valid option.

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>>8800647
The purpose of my self was to observe and learn from humans pokemon alike. Now a new purpose has been added to my self, the purpose of defense.

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>>8800647
Um...
>Maske: do a search
You do realize mortal life will cease eons before that time, correct?
You will undoubtedly have a great span of time in which to 'shitpost', though. I find the "Philosoarcheops" meme to be quite amusing.
>>8800679
I am glad you have found someone. Romance was never my forte, though it is good to see it still blooms.

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>>8800749
Bitch and a half. You don't want to know.
You're a decent good cop, Hilbs.
>>8800805
You gotta have some more than that. Location? Headquarters?
A boss?
Squeeze him.
>Aggron puts the pressure on HARD.

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>>8800771
How do glasses even work for bugs...?
>Glaceon going for the HP Fighting on Snorlax, last number
252+ SpA Choice Specs Glaceon Hidden Power Fighting vs. 4 HP / 252 SpD Snorlax: 160-190 (34.6 - 41.1%) -- guaranteed 3HKO

>Volcarona uses Fiery Dance on Glaceon, second to last number
+3 252 SpA Volcarona Fiery Dance vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Glaceon: 702-828 (259 - 305.5%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>8800807
I think I could help
The first question kinda came across weird though
Would a chat work or can you travel for a face to face thing
Gotta meet in public though if its in person

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>>8800847
Oh finally we're done.
>She sighs.
That sucked.

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>>8800805
Maybe. Buy me dinner first.
You work for GLACIER, correct?
>>8800830
Did you miss every attack? Really, you should look into one of the lenses.
I try. Maybe one day I'll become a truly excellent good cop.

>>8800859
I can't travel for face to face, unfortunately. I don't have many Pokemon and the one I do have just hatched about 3 days ago. Yea, I should word my questions a little better next time.

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>>8800830
No. I can't.
I don't know.
>>8800909
Yes. Let me go.
>He struggles again.

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>adri is drinking off frankie's alcohol cabinet
i'm so bored

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>>8800891
Do you wanna keep going, or do you have to go back to your detective stuff? I can help, if you want!

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>>8800909
I missed some of em, I'll look into it.
Hm... We should partner up.
>>8800972
Answer the questions.
>He tosses his backpack on the ground and rifles through it.
Kag, squeeze him.
>Aggron squeezes Icegrunt again.

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>>8800980
Yeah its been pretty quiet
Zorro and Sylvie are usually up to something
And Frankie, well, he's been not feeling himself

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>>8801051
>she takes another shot
but what happened to him?
is he okay?

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>>8800972
You may be a low level grunt, but surely you know the primary goal of those you work for. When you signed up, what did they tell you?
>>8801049
Hmm... You are willing to keep secrets from our bosses, right?

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>>8801072
Overworking
He needs to get out and not be doing work stuff so much
Im sure we can get him out and about and he'll be okay
>>8800959
So what do you want to know?
I happen to know a lot on this topic

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>>8801049
Fuck you.
>He grunts in pain.
>>8801092
Fucking-
It was about getting people out of buildings so the high-ups could swoop in and take 'em.

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>>8801092
Yeah I can keep anything, Hilby.
What's up? Did you put porn on Colress's bugbot?
>>8801120
Yeah, yeah. Let's move.
>Orrefag starts walking and Aggron follows him and shoves Icegrunt against the wall.
>Orrefag pulls a lighter and lighter fluid out of his bag.
Better start talking or I'm going to get creative.

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>>8801113
>pets vapey
that sounds rough
maybe we can help him with in a day off he has
do you know what's is a good thing to do to help him?

>>8801113
Well first question would have to be why a trainer would want to start a sexual relationship with their Pokemon, which I'm guessing may play into how affectionate a trainer is with their Pokemon, but I am unsure of other factors. As to why I choose to study Eevee evolution in particular is because they greatly interest me, not to mention everyone in my family has one.

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>>8801163
No, but I have some Pokémon I'd prefer if the bosses didn't know I had.
>Hilbert removes the two beast balls from his pockets, one in each hand
>>8801120
>He leans to the side so he can see the grunt over Desmond's shoulder
Oh, I already knew that. Why those buildings, in particular? The only thing I can see connecting them is previous use by Rocket and Plasma, respectively.

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>>8801163
OH GOD.
>He struggles.
I'm sorry, fuck, fuck. I'll talk!
>>8801249
I don't know, really.
Probably some shit inside of 'em? I know that the fuckin' place in Mahogany has that old Rocket base under it.
What else do you want?

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>>8801249
My lips are sealed. What are they?
>>8801314
You sure?

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>>8801190
Get out of the house
Go for a trip out of town
Maybe to Lumiose, maybe to the backwoods
>>8801217
Some Trainers are closer with their Pokemon than any other humans
Sometimes things escalate from friends to more than that
Some humans dont like other humans that way
Others arent so nice and cant convince a human to sleep with them

Those are some reasons just off the top of my head
In my case, I started it~
We went from besties to partners
I'm the only member of the team he's into like that by the way

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>>8801372
>Both of the Beast Balls are clicked open, releasing Guzzlord on his left and Kartana on his right
Tada. UBs 05-Glutton and 05-Blade.
>>8801314
Hmm... Preferably the name of your boss and a base of operation. However, if you don't know about that... Tell me what you know about Monty N. Why exactly is he a target of GLACIER's?

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>>8801415
sounds like a good idea
maybe we could go camping
but lumiose city sounds like a good idea
>she fills a shot glass for her
want some?:

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>>8801372
Y-yes, please. Don't.
>>8801528
I don't know. Somewhere in Unova.
Probably Castelia or something.
He's either the boss of the Cult of Flame or one of their two admins. None of us are sure yet but- It'll be good if we get him out of the picture.
No matter what he is it'll put a hole in their plans.
>Rolling for another secret value.
>Not related to Icegrunt getting out or anything, don't worry I wouldn't gank you.

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Hi par,
does anyone know when Mama will let me get a pokemon?
She said I could get a Fannekin but then we moved to a new town and Fennekin never made it here.
Then we had a big fight about Daddy
Oh and heres a picture I drew I hope you like it

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>>8801528
Holy shit.
How come you get two UBs, Hilbs? Either way, I won't snitch on you.
>>8801602
>Orrefag shrugs.
>Kag keeps a good grip on him.

>>8801618
You should try again and again, kid.

>>8801415
Hmmm, interesting. I am aware that Vaporeon are able to melt in water to turn invisible, does this mean that one could manipulate their body during sexual activity?
In your case, was it hard to go through with the act? Was he hesitant or did he give off some signs before you stared it that said he may be into it?

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>>8801624
Remember A-2? This is the same Guzzlord.
>>8801602
Cult of Flame? Now you have my interest, do tell.

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>>8801618
what did dad like
go out to get a pack of smokes or something
uhhh dude
do you mean like
a pokemon as a pet orrrr
a battling mon

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>>8801624
...
>>8801703
What do you want me to say? They're a bunch of freaks looking to violently release pokemon and- Do N's kinda shit.
They love their fuckin' fire types. Violent fuckers, we don't know where they're stationed.
I mean. I don't. Bosses probably do.

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>>8801703
Holy shit. That must be a tough ass Guzzlord then.
>He laughs.
Yeah, your secret's safe with me. Is it true those things can teleport?
>>8801740
If you make me and Hilbert here happy we won't turn you into chili.

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>>8801661
Mama's mad at me
She wants to take me to see a lady bout a "psych pointment?"
Now she says i cant get a Pokemon until I go and see the doctor lady because of our fight.
>>8801720
I never met him
I made a wish and Jirachi told me he wants to come home but couldn't for a long time
and now she thinks I'm crazy.
I don't want to battle that much maybe a little.

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>>8801684
Its not easy to keep up while doing it
But we've tried it
Honestly he learned when we went to see a psych
Its pretty taboo in Kanto where he's from so he took a little while to warm up to it
But one night he said he was ok with trying
It was great, a little weird and awkward at first but thats all first times

>>8801796
Mama just needs some convincing, it's not everyday that Jirachi comes and makes wishes, though he does them more often now.

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>>8801768
In a sense. They create portals through Ultra Space.
>>8801740
It's interesting that you seem to know more about their goals than the goals of your own company. Thank you for the info, however, I hope you understand that we can't just let you go. Desmond? Knock him out, please.

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>>8801768
Okay. I don't want to die.
>>8801878
Fuck, fuck, please.
Don't do this.

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>>8801900
Oh, we aren't going to kill you. Just... make you forget.

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>>8801796
uhh you always idk
wish for your mom to understand
maybe the dude with the fennekin is like
busy or something

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>>8801878
And you aren't gonna share? Greedy.
If I get one I'm naming it "Not for Hilbert." Maybe... "No Hilberts allowed."
Alright.
>>8801900
Kag, knock him out.
>Aggron puts enough pressure on to cut off oxygen.

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>>8801844
Okay
Maybe once we see the psych lady she'll calm down
She just got a new job and she seems tired
>>8801954
Maybe?
I dont know if it would work but that would be nice.
I dont like fighting with Mama.
I wanna be a Trainer and meet my dad.
Do you think my dad's a cool Trainer?

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>>8801977
But Des, you already have a full team of League tier Pokémon. I just have Sliggo and the Ultra Beasts.
.... I was assuming you were going to punch him.

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>>8801917
Wh-
>>8801977
>Oh sweet jesus that's tough.
>Icegrunt is out with some severe brusing.
>Dubsfail on this and his ribcage is broken.

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>>8802012
Yeah but I want a UB! They look so cool.
Ehhh.
>>8802021
He's fine.
>Kag sets him on the floor and looks at Orrefag with a slightly guilt expression.
What's your plan, Hilbs?

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>>8802021
>>8802057
You and your cool factor. If you want "cool" perhaps a Froslass would be more your thing.
Hm... Do you have a Psychic type with you?

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>>8801832
I would guess that it is not easy to focus on using powers while your mind focuses on the pleasure of sex, but still very interesting. I have suspicions that the feeling of sexual activities with a Pokemon the size of the Eevee evolution line would be difficult to get into many different sexual positions. Especially in a Jolteon's case with it's tail spikes.

Yes, it is Taboo in this region, most likely why there isn't much resources to go on about sexual relationships with Pokemon. Even I kinda feel strange about researching this, but I feel as though no one else will be too willing to go through with this sort of research. Is there any sort of difference of what you might find arousing that a human may not? I suspect it may be based on personality, but it couldn't hurt to ask.

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>>8802003
well you cant be a trainer until youre ten dude
idk your dad but like
maybe
as long as he isnt running focus blast on dusknoir he should be fine
maybe ask your mom if hes a cool trainer

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>>8802092
Pff. I'll go get one sometime. Just the thing actually.
>Out comes a Malamar.
>It eyes Hilbert for a moment before looking down at Icegrunt.
What's the plan, Stan?

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>she takes the shot
well... *hic well, good luck vapey if you need help with anything in that vacation call me, okay

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>>8802117
Theres differences yeah
Smell's a big thing for me
If he's been trekking around outside by the shore, ohhh yesss
I never really got the "human guys and breasts" thing though
>>8802196
OK will do
Sorry I got distracted
I'll make sure we do the lumiose thing even if I have to whargarbl his computer

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>>8802165
Wipe his memory of this encounter. Maybe... have him run into the caves fleeing from a cop and get attacked by... an Ursaring, or some other large Pokémon.

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>>8802273
Easy, Kal, wipe him, please. Go with what Hilbert said, alright?
>The Malamar puts a tentacle to Icegrunt's head.
>Rolling for intensity of memory wipe and replacement.

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>>8802252
maybe i could do some working to help with the money
i did make some clothes from time to time i could sell them if it's needed
but i mostly make pantie though
>pours another shot and drink
woah, everything is spinning
i'm a bit dizzy

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>>8802332
Nice. Now... Do you have an audio bug?

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>>8802394
Uh... Lemme see.
>Rifle through backpack.
>Rolling for if he does.
>Kal stacks rocks on Icegrunt's forehead.

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>>8802385
I'd love to help
Especially if it's naughty stuff hehehe
You might wanna slow down on that stuff though Adri
It sneaks up on you

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>>8802457
... I'll take that as a no. Give me five minutes, make sure he stays unconscious.
>UB portal back to his apartment
>Roll to find an audio bug

>>8802252
Humans do not have a great sense of smell, which is interesting in comparison. I may need to do more research and get more accounts, but it is highly likely that the smell of the shore might excite most Vaporeon. As for breasts, they act as a simulator of sexual desire, especially in men.

Are there any mating habits when mated by another Pokemon that are different from how your trainer may mate with you? Any particularly sensitive points on the body that may induce sexual arousal when stimulated? I have speculated the white ruff may be sensitive in some areas, but am unsure.

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>>8802491
Alright, don't leave me too long, sweetcheeks.
>Orrefag helps Kal stack rocks on Icegrunt.
>Rolling for if the pile falls.

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>>8802520
>An amused snort
Aw, are you going to miss me?
>>8802491
... oh. I must not have... Hm.
>Head back to work
>Rummage through his desk for the audio bugs he was going to sneak out
>Rolling for how many posts it takes to find them

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>>8802474
Yeah
The more naughty stuff tends to sell better too, so we could raise some funds
And you're right o should stop drinking now before i get a hangover tomorrow

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>>8802592
Yessssssss, don't leave me~!
>Rolling to get the pile higher.

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>>8802513
Breasts?! Stimulators of sexual desire?!
>Confused screaming
Never say those two things in the same sentence again!

>>8802652
Why not?
Just because you're kalosian that doesn't everyone is

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>Icegrunt is currently being buried alive.
>Time to establish a new character.
>A man fiddles with a couple of pokeballs while he signs some documents.
>Rolling for his success.

>>8802681
Wait
My mistake meant gay
Pretty easy to mistake then honestly

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>>8802513
Well, we always cuddle after
A lot of Pokemon dont wanna
Not unless they get, um, stuck
My ruff's pretty sensitive and my tail is too
Not all ruff stuff is sexytime, but its kinda like
how some humans will nibble each others ears and necks and stuff
>>8802652
Im not a big fan of them either but thats kinda overreacting???
>>8802619
Ooooh, I bet we could get some fun surprises for the rest of the group hehehe~

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>>8802681
Non!
You are a fucking racist!
SYLVEON PUT DOWN THE HEDGE TRIMMER!

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>>8802642
And I have returned, plus one audio bu-!
.... what are you doing?

>>8802699
300% definitely cropped prawns
give us the aliens senpai

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>>8802699
Want me to make something special for you vapey?
I could make ot extra sexy for you to have a neat surprise for frankie

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>>8802722
Hey you got it? Nice.
I dunno, Kal started it.
>Roll to make the pile higher, will my hubris get to me?

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>>8802681
>>8802697
It was a joke, but clearly you are a racist! If you will excuse me, I have civilized human beings to attend to.

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>>8802686
>Success!
>The man calls up one of his superiors and tells them the news.
>Rolling for how quickly things are going to get complicated.

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>>8802765
Hey!
>Roll to dodge out of the way of the falling rocks

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>bored sword: stop chopping at the air
>go chop a bush instead
>traumatizing the local fauna always kills time

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>>8802747
Can I help make it~?
I've got a little plan bubbling up already
>>8802743
No lewd pics from me sorry
My Trainers boss knows but he doesn't need to see the messy details

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>>8802815
you chop
i peench
>peench

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>>8802810
>Orrefag clears the debris off.
Alright. Bug time.
Let's bug him, Hilbert.
...
Bug.

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>>8802839
>scratch that, in Soviet Russia, local fauna traumatize you
Stand and deliver cur! Why doth thou interrupt mine practice? Be there dragons about?

>>8802710
>>8802775
It was a joke don't get so worked up about it
But if that jokes was different and directied to me you wouldn't bat an eye correct?
And at least learn the difference between race and nationally first
but i guess you think you are too civilized to know that simple thing, right?

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>>8802699
Is there any reason why most Pokemon don't want to cuddle? Is it something like mating is entirely different from affection for Pokemon? And by stuck you mean because of a knotted cock? If I may ask, is there any difference in feeling of a human cock compared to other evolutions of Eevee?
>>8802830
Must have been hard to explain to his boss, considering he was hesitant himself. I know I would be.

Guys my Glaceon want to rape my penis with her vagoo, what to do?

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>>8802848
Bugging is my thing!
>Plant bug in the Radio Tower.

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>>8802792
>Alright, we can deal with this.
>Begin moving things over.
>Gotta be a friendly neighbor.
>>8802747
>>8802830
>Someone knocks at the door.

>>8802888
Get a parka.

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>>8802830
Of couse you can
We need to make it extra special and unique for the surprise of course

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>>8802888
Let her

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>>8802848
Hmm... Where's the best place to plant an audio bug...
>After a moment of consideration the bug is planted behind the ear of the Ice Grunt, wedged into the skin ever so slightly to keep it from becoming detached
And now we leave. He'll wake up and head back of his own accord.

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>>8802887
Well some Pokemon just want to get that time of the season over with
Others just don't wanna stick around
My hometown had a Gym and for a while the only Eeveelutions I'd met were League circuit fighters
Not great boyfriend material
And yeah, that's what I meant by stuck

Boss still promoted him at least hehe
We-

>>8802906
Hang on lemme get my Trainer we have company

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>>8802960
Seems good to me.
Let's bolt.
>Orrefag ushers Hilbert out of the cave.
What next? We destroy Almia?

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>>8802971
>Doggo noises.
Ya'll right in there?

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>>8802998
>Frankie: get up get moving
>open door
Can I help you, sir?

>Vapey: watch carefully

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>>8802877
no dragon
just peench
>peench his cloth piece

>>8802888
First off, think if you are comfortable with having sex with her.

If you are, then I would say to let her have her fun and have some fun in the meantime, but I would suggest to prepare for some cold sex.

If you are not, tell her you feel uncomfortable about sex. If she tries to act, do not hesitate to place her in another room or into her pokeball to remind her that no means no.

>>8802971
Breeding does not seem all too romantically involved. I suspected this with the research I got from Prof. Elm. I can wait, It would be interesting to hear info from a trainer's perspective as well.

>>8802971
>( note: He didn't actually get promoted, Vapey just thinks he did. He's a Grunt still, but one the Admins know can handle shit instead of a nameless "throw a body at a problem" grunt. )

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>>8803023
Nice to meet'cha. I'm Clint Duncan, I recently was able to get a nice 'ol Day Care renovated. We're gonna up 'n use it for a place for pokemon to hang out when their trainers aren't around.
No Breedfast 'r pumps 'r any crap like that, just good old open space and grass.
Anyway, I'm goin' door to door givin' everyone a little sales pitch. Hopefully you'll come check it out.
>You get the feeling this man could only ever tell the truth.

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>>8803033
...Mine code of chivalry demands that I ask if thou wishes to duel in earnest as opposite to simply digging in your hillock.

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>>8802888
You say rape, implying that you do not want this. Simply explain this matter to her. If she still insists on coming onto you I would suggest having her stay with someone else until her heat dies down or until she has had time to think what you have said over. If she desires to keep your company she will eventually come to terms with the fact that you have no desire for sexual relations.

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>>8803033
i peench self?
how happen?
>>8803093
i peench self??
how self peench??
peench cant peench peench??
>peench: have an existential crisis

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>>8802977
Absolutely. Almia is always in need of a good destroying. Or... We can check out what's left of that Rocket lab.

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>>8803072
>Frankie: be fairly convinced so far.
Well, my friend, I wish you the best of luck.
I might drop by and take a look, although as a general rule my team sticks with me. Maybe I could steer business your way?

>Vapey: tilt head
It sounds nice
thanks
we'll visit ok?
>happy bork

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>>8803134
Erm. Hello? Art though suffering from an imbalance of the humors? Chin up, lad. Never had there been a night black enough to keep the morning light from shining through

>cloth-hand hug the peench

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>>8803173
I'd assume it'd be sealed up but why not?
>Shrug and start walking.

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>>8803189
I gotcha, friend. I won't force ya into anything ya don't wanna.
>Doggo noises,
I ain't got a translator but I'm takin' it yer Vaporeon is tickled? Either way, ya'll have a nice day, alright?
I need 'ta help get some things settled.
>He gives them a smile and heads off.

>>8803190
*thou
fug u autocorrect it's a word

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>>8803195
You seem to be implying we'd be incapable of creating an entrance.
>The beast ball is spun on his finger as he follows Desmond

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>>8803225
>Frankie and Vapey exchange a look once he head off.
Odd. The guy seems alright, but door-to-door sales at this hour are a little unusual.
We can always take a tour and call it an away job for work.
>Vapey: nod
Nice guy
Kinda odd
We can check it out after we visit Lumiose
hehehe~

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>>8803285
You know what I mean. I'm pretty sure the entrance was inside the shop so we'd be breaking in.
You up for some of that, prettyboy?
>Stop at door of shop.
I know we can just teleport in but...
>Rolling to pick the lock.

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>>8803292
Yeah, a it would be fun to visit lumiose city

>>8802933
Nevermind, im gonna cuck her right in front with a Lopunny or someting

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>>8803363
>choosing cinnamon bun over ice cream doggo
Shit taste

>>8803363
>meme rabbit
>not lewding the pupper

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>>8803323
You know it.
>Cue the slow golf clap
Desmond, master lockpicker, everyone. Looks like we're teleporting in, unless you have another master plan?

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>>8803325
So much to do, so much to see
The capital of fashion
I bet we could pick up some neat things for a little project

>>8803363
that is not nice at all

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>>8803421
Fucking garbage, hold on.
>Try it again.

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>>8803363
That is just mean...

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>>8803444
... wow. You actually got it. Okay, time to sneak.
>Roll to be the sneaky nerd

>>8803363
Mega Lop or bust.

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>>8803533
>Oh shit
>Hilbert's night vision isn't the greatest
>He fucking trips, making a loud 'thud' as he hits the floor
fuuuuuuu.

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>>8803363
furfag confirmed
>>8803450
welcome to life
would you like a helping of sorrow with that mean

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>>8803533
>>8803574
>Orrefag and Kal head in after him.
Nope. No one here...
You alright, Hilbert?

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>>8803611
>And Desmond trips on Hilbert and lands on him.
>Kal cackles like a madman.

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>>8803609
I already get enough of that from being a research assistant, no thanks.

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>>8803190
>Attempt to hug sword from behind.

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>>8803611
Yeah, I'm fi-
>>8803625
>Spoke too soon
>Hilbert is no longer fine
>He wheezes as the air is driven out of his lungs
Aaarceus.

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>>8803662
Whoops.
>Get up and help Hilbert up.
I'm convinced this building has a tripping curse.

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>>8803646
Avast! What tactless fiend dares attack the unguarded rear of Clan Ir- oh. Hail wizard!

>hug the ayylamo

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>>8803687
I take it you've been training?
>Attempt to read sordmind.

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>>8803682
If it's protected by a curse that means the information is of at least some value.
Where's that hide out entrance...
>Roll to find the Rocket entrance

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>>8803708
>sordmind: read
>contents: Chivalry, Honor, and Duty
>Permission level: 7, Group: u

Indeed! I have struck down many foes in mine time here! Granted, they be mostly shrubberies...

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>>8803729
Or it sucks and we're going to get mummified by dead Rocket... Cofagriguses... Grigii?
Whatever.
>He crouches down and knocks on the floor a few times.
>Rolling to find the entrance.

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>>8803631
whos assistant
oaks?

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>>8803751
>Interesting...
You'll need to fight foes stronger than that. Hm...
>Rolling to mind control a foe for the sord.

>>8803759
Yes. I help in research of human and Pokemon relationships. I am particularly interested in the sexual relationship between human and Pokemon. Such a taboo topic means that not many would research on this field, leaving it open for me to take a swing at it. My first bit of research is with Eevee and it's evolutions, as it is a Pokemon of adaptability and a personal favorite.

>>8803789
>Sord mind session timeout: 30 seconds remaining

Alas, I hath found nothing of worth. Except a rattata. Not exactly the White Stag, but twas a good time killer.

>sheath self, attempt to find something belt-like to hang scabbard on

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>>8803754
The plural of Cofagrigus is still Cofagrigus.
Looks like you found it, let's go.
>Head on down into spoopy abandoned Rocket lab
>Shits been doneso for like... 10 years right?
>This'll be interesting

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>>8803857
(DRINK)

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>>8803857
>>8803888
>Pry just a bit, see the juicy stuff.
We can see about finding something more interesting for you.
>Alien: Be confused why sword is trying to go up your coat.
Are you cold?

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>>8803883
>Follow after him with Kal in tow.
This is going to be a shitshow, I can already see it. What could they want down here? If they want this... And the place in Fallarbor...
Maybe underground places to stick high priority people? Or... Stick illegal shit?

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>>8803810
huh
dont think i can really offer shit for you man
i dont have an eeveelution buddy
i know a dude who had like
at least one of each in his house at once so maybe ask him when he wakes up
or ask calem
pretty sure he has a bunch of eeveelutions
dont think hes fugged em though

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>>8803903
>Hidden Folder: Got
>$dirty_broken_shields, $hardcore_metallurgy, $pirated_music

...Do swords not get held in harnesses or at the hip in your world? Strange indeed be the affairs of wizards. 'Tis a bit chilly besides.

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>>8803947
>Lewd...
>Alien: Not understand.
We do not... Should I get one?
>Put an arm around the sord.
Let's see if we can find you a battle?
>Rolling to call a pokemon over psychically.

>>8803935
Guess it wouldn't hurt to ask, even if it is a very sensitive topic to some with their Eevee evolutions. Though I have been getting some help from a Vaporeon here recently. I've been considering asking Bill, since he seems to have a few, but I doubt I can get to him, since he lives pretty far and I kinda don't have much pokemon going for me except a recently hatched Eevee and perhaps an Espeon from my Mother's house in town...but I doubt it will listen to me. I'm no trainer.

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>>8803931
Hm.. What was this place used for? A frequency meant to control Pokémon, right?
... does Plasma have any abandoned labs in Unova?

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>>8803967
At your order m'lord! Let us do battle 'gainst the fiends of this... nondescript forest.

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>>8804058
>Ayy keeps failing to summon fights.
I think you may have scared everyone off. Perhaps we should head off somewhere else?
>Do that.

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>>8803994
bro always says stuff about like
getting your pokemon to respect you and whatnot
dont gotta be a trainer for them to respect you
friendspect and what not
so like idk
if its your moms pokemon it should have some sorta fondness for you
maybe start talking to it and find out dude

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>>8804031
Pretty sure, yeah. Something about making Magikarp evolve I think?
Uh... Isn't there a lab out near the south of Unova that's Plasma related? You wanna check that out next, or you think Colress will send his bug assassins after us?

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>>8804079
Lead on, mage! This is a fine sport!

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>>8804139
>Attempt to summon a battle.
>Maybe Claus too.
Let's see if we can get stronger.

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>>8804107
I think we should be fine? You have basic command access for the Units, correct?

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>>8804167
>You didn't get a battle
>But you got a seven, and that's good enough for cat summoning.
Hey guys, what'cha up to?

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>>8804106
Well I knew her since she was an Eevee and would probably listen if we get in trouble. my only problem is I'm concerned it might find out I am researching the topic of sexual relationships between Pokemon and humans...i know it can see the future and lose respect for me for researching such a sensitive topic.

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>>8804167
>hover at the side of ayylamo's waist
>appearances are important, and a sword without a properly secured scabbard is just uncouth
Hmm. Still nothing. Perhaps they detect the air of sorcery?

>roll to search for battle with literally razor sharp senses

>>8804208
and it might lose respect for me*

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>>8804208
youre going out of your way to collect info on a topic no one else wants to
dunno why itd be upset about that
its not like youre planning on fucking pokemon
just collecting data on the topic
for science

>>8804203
Finding a battle.
>>8804212
Oh, thank you.
>Lv 20 Deino appears.
-Thayyta.

>>8804262
Hmmm....you bring up a very good point. Perhaps I am worrying over nothing. If anything she'd probably want to talk to me telepathically about it. I just hope she isn't judgmental about it.

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>>8804201
I do. But if we find Colress's secret bug sex dungeon we might be fucked anyway.
>Look for anything of interest.

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>>8804265
HAHA! FINALLY! HAVE AT YE, SERVENT OF DARKNESS! FACE ME IF YE DARE!

>Sword Dance

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>>8804265
Oh, nifty.
>Claus: chill and watch

>>8804304
Go stab that dragon good.

>>8804304
>Deino uses Headbutt!
>Not calcing because I'm too lazy, its normal, you're a ghost, figure it out.
>>8804322
>Sit with Claus.
I wonder if he'll need help.
-Theta

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>>8804322
INDEED CHILL CAT!

>>8804346
YE SHALT PAY FOR DISHONORING MINE CLAN FOUL BEAST

>Slash
>on the dino draggo, not on Theta

+2 0+ Atk Honedge Slash vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Deino: 73-87 (128 - 152.6%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>8804282
In the way common to sex dungeons or....?
>You found a RageCandyBar
>Meanwhile, Hilbert fiddles with a Persian statue, brushing dust away to uncover the eyes

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>>8804346
Purrobably not. Looks kinda runt-y.
...Hey, uh, didn't you want me to do someth-

>>8804382
oh wow.
Nice shot there steely dan.

>>8804382
>KOed!
>Finish it off, brave warrior. Extra EXP.
>>8804418
Ah! He did it.
I'm a little surpirsed, honestly.
-Theta

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>>8804410
Little of both? Might be sex or horrible bug related murder.
>Sniff it to make sure it isn't expired.
You find anything over there?

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>>8804382
>Dinodraggo: Down and out, not in Vegas

>>8804418
'TIS THE WILL OF MINE FATHERS.

>>8804425
Wizard! I hath completed the quest! Shall I collect 10 beware hides? Get ye flask?

>return to hip hover position

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>>8804443
Actually I have an idea.
>Alien: Go to make self a belt, or something for sord to pop onto.

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>>8804425
I mean, he IS a sword.
Though, pretty sure I coulda taken it out faster.
Maybe.

>>8804443
You must collect 40 thousand small blue pebbles and deliver them to the mayor of Castelia.

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Calling it a night. I'll see if I can get my mom's Espy to help me get to Bill to help my research. Later.

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>>8804478
Before or after I take this stone tablet to the Jarl of Whiterun?

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>>8804435
...well. I know what I'd prefer.
>Tap the eyes on the Persian
The eyes are cameras. Think we could hook them up to... I don't know, my computer?

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>>8804502
Yes.

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>>8804520
...At least it be not a dwarven puzzle box

>>8804520
>pet catte

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>>8804533
One of the pebbles is in one of those.

>>8804555
>I'm too tired to think of something funny to happen for this
>Sorry

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>>8804603
Damn. Fare the well greymalken. I shall journey to distant lands to complete this quest! I shalt return when the hurly-burly tis' done, when the battle be lost and won.

>>8804555
Unhand mine ally, harlot!

>Shadow Sneak the Anon

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>>8804634
>Catte: understand not a whole lot of that
..Pawlright.
I'm gonna.. go have some catnip and pass out.
Good luck with the rocks.
>Meowmix: go do that.

Sleep.

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>sleepy seaweed sounds

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>>8805577
>double dubs fail for sleep
>seaweed is afflicted with sleep paralysis

aegislash touching

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>>8802743

If you read this
I want you to know
I love you guys

https://youtu.be/mqh0mWKP8Dk

>>8806534
Love you more anon.

>>8806972
Impossible

PAR
I need a little help. How do I stop being clingy? I'm afraid I've driven friends off by being clingy and I want to improve as a person

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>>8807459
>tfw random anon character is too relatable
dude maybe just like
idk
give them a bit of space?
what even makes you think youre being clingy dude

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good afternoon for all of you here
such a lovely sunny day outside

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Hi par
I'm feeling kindof scared.
Mama got a letter in the mail and she wouldnt let me read it.
There was something in with the letter i think too.
She looked at me funny and ran off to work.
what Should I do?

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>>8806039
delet pls

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>>8807459
>tfw I know that feel and it hurts
I dunno, focus on what you like doing and work on the things you'd like to focus down or refine about yourself and let them be themselves for a while.

>>8807814
>>8808001
Ok thank you for the advice
There's people I'll talk to tomorrow who'll also help me with that
But I just needed a little outside advice

>>8807997
cant delet posts that old fampai

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>>8807962
did you see who it was from
might be your dad

>>8808148
oh dave-pai hold me in your big strong sexy arms and put your big gay cock in my tiny ass

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>>8808193
wtf

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>>8808148
I didn't see but she left it on the table.
Will she be mad if I read it?
I'm gonna so get the chair be right back

>>8808193
Im 7 and what it this?

>>8808228
cmon skitts
You thought you can hide from me?~
This library is big enough for both of us~

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>>8808245
>Nice try anon, Library-Chan never found out my par alias
wtf is a skitts
dude you are high as fuck
how many darkrais
>>8808241
maybe just like
check out the name for now
if youre really worried maybe read it but idk youll probably get in trouble for that

>>8808273
I just want you to hold me
I'll do anything even if it mean impersonating female jiji

>>8808273
(Stop phoneposting and get back to class)

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>>8808273
I'll see who wrote it thanks mister!
>>8808254
OH MY GOSH RED RANGER!
You're the coolest! I love your show it's the best!
>Small child: distracted
>Karma: +5

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>>8808322
(Nice try, no school today famalam. Easter break is a thing. )
>>8808289
(Ok? I mean, impersonating Library-chan is about as effective for that goal as impersonating my parents.)
>>8808344
go have fun with that dude
i guess you can always blame me if you get it trouble
but mom dave gropius said it might be important

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>>8808344
>it worked
thank you, child
the enjoyment of the viewers is the best pleasure for me