ITT: Pokemon are real. Who's your favorite human? The

me

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>>8408542
Not me, humans suck

>>8408472
>>8408517
>>8408536
>Loud Lady is offline...

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>>8408542
It salad man, salad man best human
>>8408536
Much thank mister salad man
>Delighted chirping

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>>8408542
The human known as Carmen.
She is amusing and gullible.

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>>8408586
Well I'll give you that, N is probably one of those few good humans

>>8408542
Salad man.

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Frankie

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>>8408570
>"what luck i had, she didn't hear that end part, at least i don't have to see her"

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>>8408542
Would it be biased if I said Gladion?
>>8408601
>>8408613
I'm not sure about that, but thank you nonetheless.
>>8408586
Hmmm....
>N grabs one of each bagel variety
Are there any other pastries you'd like to try?

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>>8408542
The amazing lettuce lad.

>>8408621
>Frankie: finally back from wandering.
Good news, everyone!
I found a house for us!
It's not as luxurious as our previous place, but it's better than Fuschia.
We can go over and get settled, and then I'll probably scope out freelance work.

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>>8408613
>>8408767
>>8408748
There's a prison joke/gay joke somewhere here I just know it

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>>8408748
I used to think there never enough baggel
Now, I think maybe this enough bagel today
Thank you salad man
>Em-bird status: best day ever

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>>8408748
All opinions are biased don't think too much about it
>>8408542
Frankie sounds like a nice guy
Poor guy being chased by carmen
I feel bad for him
>"at least she isn't chasing me i guess"

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>>8408845
Do not worry, she will get what she deserves in time.
If she is bothering you I can have her dealt with.

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>>8408767
Thank you.
>>8408808
Hmm... I can't say I would know it, but if someone else would care to explain I'll be willing to hear it.
>>8408845
Very true. I'll try not to
>>8408834
Would you like to try cream cheese?

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>>8409036
uhh, i maybe arrest her, but if you are talking about murder please don't
she may be crazy but she doesn't deserve to die
>>8409071
no problem salad man

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>>8409082
I assure you, we would not resort to murder.
We are prepared to do many things to achieve our goals, murder is not one of them.

May I have your name, by the way?
I am required to at least ask, in order to keep my database up to date.

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>>8409071
Sure!
i peanutbubber on a bread once though but not where I was sit on the brad. then bread only 90 precent penutbutter. I no could solve.
It was a sad say for birb, but this a best day

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>>8408782
That is awesome! What kind of work?

>>8409317
>Frankie: grin.
Well, I'm pretty sure I'm the only Pokeglot in this part of Kalos, for starters.
I can also pick up general odd jobs.

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>>8409148
Well here... how about.. Cherry cream cheese on sesame bagel.
>The cheese is spread on the bagel and the bagel itself set down on a plate on the table
Hmm... what kind of ad do you want to be in? They're all Pokémon rights, but we have different kinds, varying from sad shoots to promotional images.

Hello question.
What do you do when you think another pokwmon on pokemon team is making trainer sad?

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>>8409393
>follow

>>8409612
Hmm. That's a tricky one. There's a lot of things that might be at work here, so I can't give solid advice without a little more information, friend.

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>>8409612
Have you tried talking to the other Pokémon about it? It would help if we knew exactly what he was doing.

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(I'm so sorry)
(Goodbye, I'll miss all of you. I wish they could be different but it's not)

>>8409682
>Frankie: be utterly oblivious for now
>Ordering things online, requesting tougher jobs from the bossman
>Petting every doggo

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>>8409393
Pokeglot, is that why you can understand us and others can't without a translator?

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>>8409130
yeah murder as a way to deal with someone
but my name is dan by the way
>>8409727
(i'll miss you turts)

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>>8409393
What does that mean?

>>8409890
>Frankie: pet fluffy phox and explain.
It means I don't need fancy technological tools or Psychic abilities to understand Pokemon, Zorro. Most humans can read body language to varying degrees but that's it.
>>8409869
Yeah. It's not a common skill at all. When a Trainer and Pokemon really, really need to be on the same page about something and can't get past the communication issue, well, you either see a Pokeglot or a Psychic trainer-Pokemon duo. Psychics are more common, but some folks are unnerved by them and the affordable psychs can be pretty darn hit-or-miss.Living south of Lavender Town, a fella hears stories.

>>8409876
(I'll miss you to buddy, I hate being in public crying... I'm sorry)

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>>8409876
>New database entry DAN
>Not much is known, dislikes murder, maybe we can use that?

Thank you, if for any reason you wish to have your personal information erased please contact Porycorp's support team and a Porygon will reply to your request within 1-2 working days.

>>8409978
We'll tell buddy you said hi
If you didn't block him

>>8409693
>>8409711
He has been ummm. Criticising how he works and it seems like it is making him sad.

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>>8410072
(I don't care anymore, please stop replying. I only hate myself more, this is my last reply. Tell them I'm sorry)


(Things only can get better for all of us if I leave. Just remember this)

(Never push someone away or you'll hurt them)
(Never grow attached cause they'll hurt you)
(In the end I just hurt everyone)

>>8410118
Hmm.
What I'm hearing here is that this other team member thinks your Trainer's not on the right track, and is being needlessly rude about it. Is that accurate?

>>8410146
Fuck off already you edgy cunt.

>>8410279
I guess he sort of made me realize he's a bit... Needlessly violent.
But I know my trainer has and uh still does deal with scary things from his past that I have no real reference for.
What do I do?

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>>8410118
How he works as a trainer or in other regards? Either way, you could always talk to your fellow Pokémon about the way he treats your trainer.

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>>8410343
(Didn't see this post whoops)
That is... have you considered addressing your trainer about this?

>>8410371
I'm not sure.
>>8410413
I do! Um...

>>8410711
>bugtits
>milk
y

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>>8410413
Hey!
>change PokeGear™ ring tone to:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PPl8O82ZvY

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>>8410371
>>8410413

>Roll to phoenix down the thread

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>>8410763
>And N will never know because he doesn't get phone calls very often
>>8410654
How did it go..?

How do I fuck a muk?

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>>8411330
>Call N's phone

>>8411338
Massage the goo, with your hands, or strong vibrations

>>8411338
There's one muk that can control its poison, maybe there are others

>>8411338
With your bepis.

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>>8411338
i don't know
i don't think i want to know

Does anyone have any pokemon suggestions for someone with anxiety?

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>>8411587
Primarina or any other singing Pokémon would be a fair suggestion
>>8411390
..... what.
Why...?

>>8411587
Zigzagoons are cute and fun.

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>>8411587
A psychic type would be ideal for obvious reasons.
Ghost types also tend to be good, they're usually fairly empathetic.

>>8411638
Hello.
You are N, correct?

>>8411638
>>8411698
Thank you.
>>8411709
Any specific mons of those types you have suggestions for?

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>>8411587
lillipups are good pokemon to have around
i have one ge's pretty cute

>>8411766
Alolan Marowaks are pretty chill, despite being fire types.

>>8411766
I'd say a Natu or an Espurr.

>>8411784
Alright!
>>8411841
Alright, thanks anon.
Am I gonna have to head off to Alola or does wonder trade still work?
>>8411892
Alright thank you.

>>8411938
Wonder Trade works, yeah.

>>8411978
Alright I'll see what I can get. I'll probably check with my local shelter.

(where is everyone? )

>>8412247
(Doing unspeakable lewd acts)

>>8412247
>>8412263
Rocks fell.
Everyone died.

>>8412263
(are the threads dead? )-

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>>8412131
Apologies for the delayed response, I was verifying the integrity of my database.
It seems others have given you suggestions already, please let me know how it works out for you.

>>8412247
(Sorry man I got distracted by irl shit.)

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>>8411709
Yes, that would be me... do you need something?
>>8412247
>>8412283
(Im b& so posting is actually pretty difficult right now. Jiji is banned as well an can't post at all, and I don't know what happened to Gladi. That's 3/4 of thread not posting right there.)

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>Reading up Unovan laws on mass media
>Specifically the sections about slander

>>8412311
(wait what happened?)

>>8412338
They reported someone shitting up the thread with samefagging.
Who thankfully has stopped samefagging.

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Ey, this is Catalyst Radio (YEAH!).
We got some juicy audio from a dear and unnamed friend, fresh off Wishileaks.
The only editing here is replacing words we aren't supposed to play over the radio with sound effects.
Here's an excerpt for ya.

>"What the [Loud Moan] do you mean you can't ban Cata-list? All you need to do is block it!"
>"You're trying to take a sledgehammer to a fly, Gunderson. The possibility of illegal operations advertising there, with only blatant jokes as evidence, isn't sufficient justification for anything, let alone a Region-wide firewall!"
>"Seriously? What about Catalyst Radio's [OHHYESSS]-ass Admin bragging about murder!?"
>"If you'd been on the beat at any point, -Hugo-, you'd know every wannabe roughneck brags about that shit. That's not enough evidence to lock someone up."
>"Is there nothing. We can do. To get those terrorists and freaks. Off our land."
>"Not unless you have evidence of actual malfeasance, Chief. Now get the [Glass Break] out of my office."

That was Unova's new police chief Hugo Gunderson and the junior Senator from Virbank discussing yours truly and my dear sponsors.
Phones are open at CATA-AIR, that's 228-2247!
Lemme know what you think, and here's some music!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLN-a2w568M&list=RDCIQjqXhKdN4

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>>8412338
>>8412351
(Jiji might have reported that guy, but it was the Bionocle poster guy and some other shitposter I reported)

>>8412283
yeah gms decided threads are delet

>>8412385
Oh yeah those guys too.

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Back from doctor
Human can't exercise for several months
He looks sad. Won't cheer up.
What do?

>>8412405
Give him the succ.

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>>8412329
Hey you!

>steals meme folder.

>>8412405
Hugs and cuddles.

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>>8412405
Play games with him, perhaps?
>>8412391
(But brüh, im Right here)

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>>8412311
Yes, I am curious about something.
Exactly what kind of affiliation do you have with the group known as Catalyst?
They are currently being targeted by some unfavorable individuals and my organization and I wish to help with that.
I wanted to make sure you are aware of us and will not think we are plotting anything against yourself or Catalyst.

>>8412380
>Record all of this
Interesting...

>>8412405
I would recommend the same as >>8412435.

(Yo what happened to alister?)

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>>8412423
Doctor said not to touch area until healed.

>>8412435
>>8412457
Tried that.
Didn't work.
Body not good for cuddles?

>>8412451
Games?
Like, racing?
Human can't run fast. Doesn't want to run.

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>>8412405
stay with him, give him moral support
and next time please go slower okay

>>8412464
So you DID lewd him.

>>8412507
>>8412476
Fuck.

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>>8412476
Maybe he'd be interested in something a little slower? Like, watching a movie together?
He might be really down for a few days but he'll get better.

SENATOR DENNIS WEBB OF HOENN IS A CATALYST SUPPORTER
CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES TO GET HIM KICKED OUT

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>>8412380
Remind me to run away with the soundboard if the radio were forced to shut down.

>>8412430
But why tho

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>>8412507
>>8412526
Yes.
We "exercised".

>>8412499
Trying to be comforting.
I can't be slow. I'm very fast.

>>8412539
I can't sit still for a movie.
Put one on for him?

>>8412464
Which one

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>>8412457
I co-own Catalyst, actually. I see. Thank you for letting me know, I'll make certain actions aren't taken against you
>>8412476
No, I mean games such as... video games. Other things he's interested in would also suffice.
>>8412464
(Do you mean the Decidueye character or the role player we call Turts?)

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>>8412552
It is mine now haha!
>changes computer background to le funny banana
>thanks lori

>>8412581
Here you go!
>illegally downloads the entire box set of Tae Bo

>>8412590
(Right he played a turtwig I get lost in thought at times yo. Yeah what happened to him?)

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>>8412476
>>8412581
Apologies, I do not know how to comfort humans.
Putting on a movie for him may be a good idea.
I will research this topic for you and come back with any information that may be useful.

>>8412550
I will guarantee he will not be kicked out.
I will make sure of it myself.

>>8412590
Thank you, N.
>Hang up
>Audio recorder shut down

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>>8412552
>ON AIR
Heck yeah, my friend. I got a contextual sound effect for nearly every word Unova Comms Commission insists we bleep out.
Like so, reading some fan mail:
"SENATOR DENNIS WEBB OF HOENN IS A CATALYST SUPPORTER
CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES TO GET HIM KICKED OUT"
What the [Loud Moan].
That is some [Snorting Tauros]. Call your representatives and tell them Senator Webb is a Hoennian hero instead.

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>>8412601
Thanks. I guess?

>>8412626
I will.
How do I operate player?

>>8412590
Trying a movie.

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>>8412581
well maybe next time let him take control then
if you can't control your speed i dunno i don't plan on fucking a pokemon anytime soon, i have no idea how that works
specially for bug pokemon

hey utg
what do i do when my pokemon gets painful acid all over me

>>8412732
unplug it and plug it back in

>>8412732
snort it

>>8412732
Baking soda.
Neutralize that acid fast and get to a doctor.
This happens more often than you'd think.

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>>8412732
JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL YOU IDIOT
QUICKLY

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>>8412623
(The real question is...what happened to Gladi? He hasn't posted in a while, I'm kinda worried.)
>>8412732
UTG....?
Anyway, go take a shower, just water, no soap, shampoo, etc.

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>>8412638
Ah Webb. He's a good man and was the opposition to that guy that got violently murdered a while back for having terrible views on pokemon.

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>>8412665
This I can assist with.
>Cyberwarp to the Ninjask
Hello.
Which movie would you like to put on?

reminder that judge isaac white in unova fucks hus daughter and hits pokemon

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>>8412799
>Flies back in surprise
>Human watches, confused
Hi.
Uh. A good one.

>>8412675
I like being on top.
Human too slow for me to enjoy.

Reminder that discordposters would rather be in their shitty club instead of rping.

>>8412771
(Uh what? Fool I'll talk with you when I isn't driving later yo)

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>>8412872
and look what happned, he got third degree burns
maybe if you learn to control yourself it won't work out for you two

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>>8408542
This is a stupid fucking question.
the dead ones are my favorite ones.

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>>8412872
>Turn to the human
Do you have a preference, human?

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>>8412984
Well, that's rude.

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>>8412978
I came off as mean?
Not mean.
I can't enjoy slow pace.
He knows that.
Try to be slow. Still too fast.

>>8412990
...
Something calm.

>>8413014
>touch poopchute

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>>8412779
I don't think he deserved the violent death he got for just having terrible views, but I have to admit if he implemented them Hoenn would have had the same civil unrest as Unova did.
Also, the hero Herdier that took the first shot for him deserved better. Just sayin'.
When we come back, we'll have open phone likes at CATA-AIR, or just news jabber.
Have some music, this is Catalyst Radio (YEAH!)
https://youtu.be/ZQJA330yZV0?list=RDEMuc8OF7rEU0yrBu1H2OeEKA&t=28

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>>8412984
This is no surprise.
Go and haunt a McGhetsis,
Sentient salt pile.

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>>8413014
Your presence is 10 time more rude than i could ever be.

>>8413068
McGhetsis doesn't need me to haunt it HA!

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>>8413019
i didn't mean tothat
no you didn't sound mean, more clueless than mean
well maybe you two need to find a way so you both enjoy without no one getting hurt
maybe use lube to make less friction i don't fucking know
why do i keep giving sex advice to pokemon over the internet

>>8413099
>touch superhero stick

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>>8413019
Very well.
I hope this is considered calming.
>Porygon puts on Toy Story

>>8413155
>faildubs
>accidentally play Toy Story
>...3

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>>8413155
>>8413175
>Human's disappointment can be felt from across the room
>Silent, sad stare

>>8413099
Lube?
What is lube?
Can it help?

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>>8413127
hey don't do that man my stick is not for everyone

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>>8413028
Indeed, I just have a hard time feeling sorry for that kind of people.
Now the Herdier I do feel sorry. May he bark freely whenever he is.
Wooo back to the music, in Catalyst Radio (YEAH!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8meeb8TMjLs

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>>8413200
>Porygon turns around
I assume I did not choose the correct movie...Would you like me to stop it?
Is there a different movie you would prefer?

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>>8413200
yeah it can help it's well it makes where it is applied more slippery so maybe that would work but that will have to take a while for you to have a next try

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>>8413338
>Disappointed nod
Anything, really.
>Slumps on the couch

>>8413381
That sounds fun.
And useful.
Where can I get it?

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>>8413470
Sorry, I do not know what movies would be considered calming.
How about this instead?
>Porygon puts on a music playlist, hopefully it's somewhat calming

>>8413206
>a woman with so much make up that she looks like a clown has more chances than you lewding with stuntbando

Hey anxietyanon from earlier. Got an Alolan Marowak from a shelter.
>tfw he's an abuse victim as well
Well uh...Anything I need to know about waks?

>>8413592
>( AND SPEAKING OF THAT WOMAN... )

> Charm(ander)less Carmen: Do The Investigate Thing.
>Second to last digit is Supplies, last digit is for a lead.
Oh, Frankie... come out and plaaaay~
I've got a surprise for you~

>>8413639
Keep them away from Banettes.

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>>8413470
well in most drugstores they sell them, maybe ask your human to buy it when he gets better
>>8413592
...
>screams internally

>>8413639
Don't listen to >>8413654
They're perfectly fine to have together.
Besides that uh, they like being pet, especially on the little black mark on their skulls.
They're very well behaved for ghost types generally, so I don't really have any other advice.

>>8413639
Which kind of abuse?

>>8413641
>41
>No good leads, but got money and a toy.
>>8413683
>ring ring
Hi, sweeetieee, it's Carmen again~
Say, you wouldn't happen to know how to use a butterfly knife, would you?
I got one for, like... my birthday a while ago, but I can't figure it out. It's reeeally hard to flip out fast.

>>8413716
AGE INDUCED ARTHRITIS DOES MAKE THIS DIFFICULT, YES.
-Dialga

>>8413692
Lewd.

>>8413731
>Charmless' previous roll was evens.
>She manages not to argue with the booming voice in a public place.
>Still 8 the b8 tho
how... dare you? I'm still a 9 at age 29!
you uncultured paloswine...

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>>8413716
well, i know, but it's too dangerous to just play with it
you shouldn't use those things, you might hurt yourself, baby
>"i shouldn't say her not to but i guess it's better that she doesn't use that for frankie"
>>8413776
>shivers

God I want to die

>>8413828
>Eyeliner Elemental: take the sage advice.
You know, you're right., sweetie~
I should return it for something more practical.
Thank you~!
>Carmen dropped the Butterfly Knife!
>Carmen has equipped the Camping Hatchet!

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>>8413832
Me to.

test

>>8413957
Don't we all?

>>8413972
>inb4 buddy

>>8413776
A SOLID 9 ON THE RICHTER SCALE, PERHAPS

>>8414024
stfu fsm

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>>8413941
>"FUCK I JUST MADE IT WORSE, GOD DAMN IT"
but what you'll do with that hatchet, sweetie?
please don't do anything dangerous i wouldn't know what would do if something happened to you
>"well if you got arrested it would be okay"

>>8414024
>Carmen the Charmless: losing shit now
Fuck you, I am HOTTER than YOU will EVER BE.
What the fuck even is a Richter scale.
>>8414049
It's for, you know, camping in the backwoods~
>Charmless:Relocate, having failed to bump into Frankie...

>>8414127
THE RICHTER SCALE IS THE MEASUREMENT OF EARTHQUAKES, SUCH AS WHAT YOU CREATE WHEN YOU WALK.
IMPOSSIBLE. THE METALS OF MY BODY WERE FORGED IN THE CORES OF STARS. YOULL NEVER MATCH IT.

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>very fast squek as very hihg sped

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>>8414127
if you say so beautiful.
>"ugh i think i died a little saying that"
just don't do anything dangerous, baby

>Call up Siebols by accident.
Hello, police? There's some crazy mime running around kalos.

>>8414195
>Charmless: be very confused as sense of unwarranted self-importance blocks out all reality
>Amble in a daze along a random Route...

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>>8414317
Quelle?? Outrageous, mimes were banned ages ago. I will not let it tarnish the name of our nation, where is it?

>>8414432
Heading down Ruoute 3 I think

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>>8414263
>Vapey: stay close to Zorro, looking a little shaken up
Oh hey Zorro
Hows things

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>>8414456
I am okay!
Are you okay?

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>>8414489
A little worried
Frankie said he got a call from his boss
His sisters in Kalos now
Thats not good
>Vapey shivers a bit

i want to fug a dhelmise

>>8414550
Anon.
It's an anchor.

>>8414427
don't you have anything better to do?
Go fuck your boyfriend or something geez

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>>8414520
I've never met Frankie's sister, is there something bad about her?

>>8414550
To put it bluntly, >>8414579 is right.
Penetrative sex is simpy infeasible to impossible with or for certain Pokemon, and Dhelmise is on that list.
Consider a different approach.

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>>8414550
>Roll to seduce.

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>>8414520
Why? She sounds super harmless to me!

>>8414611
>glomps sylvie
Hey!

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>>8414611
She's a really, really bad person
She bullied Frankie into letting her take care of me once...
>splashdoggo whining
>>8414647
She hurt me, Zorro
And if shes in Kalos then it means she chased us all the way from Kanto

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>>8414447
I'll be there soon.
>Click
>Siebold Grabs his team and heads out for route 3
>Roll for any complications

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>>8414673
>Complications.
>Roll to seduce.

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>>8414647
>is glomped
Hey you, what've you been up to today?
>>8414671
She hurt you? What happened exactly?

>Charmless slinks off the Route and into the backwoods.
>This can't go horribly wrong at all, right?

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>>8414700
>Siebold stops dead in his tracks upon seeing the strange trench coated figure
Quelle..?
>He can't resist the allure and mystery of a trench coat man and walks over after running a hand through his hair
Hello, mysterious stranger

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>>8414671
She sounds determined.
How did she hurt you? I must know how slow to roast her.

>>8414756
Absolutely nothing!

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>>8414841
>boop the silly fox
Why would you do nothing all day when you could have been training? I gained a level today!

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>>8414756
She... she forgot to feed me for a day, and then she gave me gross, fatty leftovers, then tried to pull out the globs that happened because of the fatty food...
She slapped me when I wanted to go out in the rain...
She's terrible, and the worst thing is she thinks she didn't do anything wrong...

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>>8414837
>Oh god.
Hello, uh... Mon dieu. What are you searching for?

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>>8414854
I do not know. I feel weird.
But you got stronger huh!?

>>8414864
Oh i see. I will deal with her. you do not have to worry!

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>>8414889
Mon dieu...? Cherie, that's what you'll be calling me in bed.
>Siebold leans in closer, a hand caressing what would be the Dhelmise's arm
And I'm looking for a good time, toi?

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>>8414774
>"well if she stays on there the whole night i guess she will start losing her mind"
well i have to end the call bye bye~
>"i hope that she doesn't kill anyone"

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>>8415140
In bed...?
>Confused not-an-anchor noises.
Aren't you looking for a mime or something, mon cher?

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Well now that's over i'll go out for a walk
I it was drinking that got me in this mess, with me "meeting" a crazy person who probably wants to kill her brother
I won't go drinking today
>evens don't go drinking
>odds goes drinking anyway because he wants to forget about the make up demon

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>>8415457
>welp when he notices he's on the bar drinking again
>what could go wrong this time

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>>8415047
You feel weird? Is everything okay?

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>>8415664

>>8415693
They stare into my soul

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>>8415664
I hope so! I do not know why i feel like this. It only happened once before.

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>>8415311
>The trench coat slips lewdly, the honhon's eyes tracing the movement like a hawk its prey.
Oui, to both.
>He slides his hand up the "arm", coming to rest on the shoulder momentarily before being drawn back again
But it can't all be work no play~
Do you want to come with me?

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>>8413957
Roll to seduce Gengy

>>8415867
You're a girl?!

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>>8415867
For what purpose? You want me dead. again.

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>>8415752
>Anchorman: Try to brush the honhon off nicely.
No thank you. Umm... Would you want my number?

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>>8414864
(missed this post somehow)
That's awful, don't you worry me and Zorro will protect you from her
>>8415693
Do you have something to say Mayday?
>>8415730
when was the last time it happened?

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>>8415950
HE
WANTS
TO
FUCK

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>>8415986
Why do you have a hangup on that?

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>>8415950
>audible hesitation.
I do not want to talk about it.

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>>8416022
Haven't you learned by now you can tell me anything

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>>8415986
>root beer flies everywhere

>>8416032
Yeah i know i can but it is a little different this time...

(Is chamless/frankies role player still here?)

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>>8416156
Now you're just worrying me

>>8416166
(he went to take a nap but will be back in about an hour)

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>>8416008
>mumbles something to herself ("got someone" is all that can be made out)
I don't really know myself, I guess I'm trying to force a meme or something?

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>>8416167
I know i should have not said anything.... I hate when you worry.

>>8416188
(Well hopefully he returns soon I wish to test out and execute my little encounter)

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>>8415919
Faire la begueule? Donc je peux.
>He catches the drift, so to speak - the hand is removed from the shoulder
Oui, what is it?

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>>8416200
Oh are you jealous or something?
>>8416201
Solution is to assuage my worries by telling me.

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>>8415572
drinking a bit won't harm anyone, i think it won't
>roll for how drunk he is

>>8416234
Here you are.
>The number is exchanged with a small brush across the chin of seaweed.
>Evens: Its his. Odds: It goes to a certain Joe Schmoe.

>>8416280
(Stuntanon, please do not go afk yet I wish to test something out with you)

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>>8416266
What? Why would you think that?
What makes you think I'm jealous of you?

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>>8416266
No this is something i do not want to talk about.
I killed....
>stammers
....
Yeah that is it.

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>>8416338
(don't worry i'm not going afk)
(unless i die right now)

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>>8416363
I dunnoooo
>>8416380
Who'd you kill?

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>>8416392
It is kind of complicated. It really hurts.

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>>8416392
>>8416440
>Vapey snaps out of a funk.
>She's hanging on every word...

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>>8416440
>pet the fox with a ribbon
That's okay if it hurts to talk about don't worry about it hun?

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>>8416636
Hey vapey!

>>8416660
It is not that i do not want to tell you but it is something i am trying to forget.

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>>8416440
Well this was a sudden turn of events
>>8416691
Yeah it's probably best if you try to forget it. However just keeping it to yourself probably isn't going to help.
I still remember embarrassing things I've done years ago.

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>>8416691
Hey Zorro
Frankies cooking up a casserole thingy I think for dinner
>>8416716
Mayday's right, keeping this stuff in isn't gonna help
Heck, I want to forget the Frankies sister thing, but bottling it up isn't healthy
I promise if you tell me I wont judge you

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>>8416716
yeah... embarrassing...

>>8416765
I do not think i ever had that before.

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>>8416831
Yeah
I was... super mad at Frankie for a while after that
I think she guilted him into thinking she changed
and then, well
Yeah

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>>8415906
Yes!
>>8415913
No I don't! I've stated it at least once that I can remember that I don't want to kill you anymore!
>roll for seduction

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>>8416915
What is casserole?

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>>8417165
Mish mash of food baked in a single dish.

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>>8417096
....
What? What is your goal here? No one just changes their mind about murder.

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>>8417165
Its a Unovan thing I think
>>8417192
Exactly
I smell eggs, I think thats it

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>>8417192
That sounds.... different!

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>>8417222
i guess she found someone she can't kill
and she likes that i guess
i don't know what in the minds of psychopaths

>>8417222
She wants your poison ghost dick

>>8417274
Do members of the Ghastly line even have genitals as humans would understand them?

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>>8416383
>Heres how its going to work for the (role)player
>The basic roll fighting rules apply for the (role)player/combatant
>Roll evens hit. Roll odds etc.
>This will also apply to me (the GM of this encounter)
>But depending on what time i posted in response (in seconds) and whether or not I hit
>depends where you are hit in terms of damage
>00-09 (seconds) the crotch
>10-15 (seconds) left leg
>16-20 (seconds) right leg
>21-26 (seconds) left arm
>27-32 (seconds) right arm
>33-55 (seconds) body
>56-60 (seconds) head
>level of damage is determined by the rolls last digit multiplied by 10 if dubs or trips by 20. But this is my first time doing this
>so lets keep it simple and leave it at the last (even) digit (multiplied by 10) determines damage

A drunk patron approaches stunt anon
>"hey you! yeah that's right you! that Halloween costume looks real stupid! Let me tear it off for you"
he attacks him

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>>8417222
Yes, at first I just wanted to start shit, maybe take a few lives, I just thought I'd have some fun in this guilelessly cruel world. I walked into that first encounter expecting to die and you let me live. I guess I saw something in you that I liked a whole lot, there's gotta be some good in you. It sort of gave me a bit of hope that maybe not everyone is out to get you.
Also you're the most handsome thing I've ever seen.

>>8417373
(Theme https://youtu.be/UY6JduQlMRQ)
>That song begins to play

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>>8417373
wow are you trying to mess with me?
>stuntbro decides to fight back
you will regret messing with me

(Forgot to mention I will explain health and etc as I go, especially since I forgot to mention it in the main post. My apologies)

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>>8417376
o-oh... uummm
No one has ever said anything that nice to me actually...

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>>8417551
So...
Th-thanks for not killing me, e-even if I was being a jerk.

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>>8417489
He grabs a mug filled with beer, and flings it toward stunt anon

>"This will teach you, you stupid wannabe no life ripoff ranger"
>forgot to mention stuntanon has armor (the blue bar barely visible below the health bar)

>>8417663
it flew right over stunt anon
time for a counter attack

-GM of the bar fight (DnD Dog works as well yo)

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>A rocket Grunt finally makes it back home, a noticeable limp in his step the entire way.
>He takes his time on the steps, favoring the right leg heavily, cringing each time his foot hits the stone, knuckles white against the rails
>A eviction notice, bold and red in its lettering, greets him at the door. He barely reads it before tearing it off, crumpling the paper into a tight ball and tossing it, slamming the door hard enough to rebound on his way in.
>His neighbors shout in response, but they are paid no attention, ignored in favor of rifling through the fridge for a cold beer, flopping onto the couch with a wince and a sigh once his prize is retrieved
>The Pokémon are all released from their balls, some wandering around the house and other piling into his lap
.... this fucking sucks.
>The first swig is taken from the bottle, Robert grabbing the tv remote in his other hand, flipping through channels idly until something for interesting background noise was found
So... what are we gonna do?
>Robert had since tossed the remote to the other end of the couch, free hand mindlessly rubbing and scratching at the head of his A-Persian, his mind elsewhere for the time being.

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>>8417663
>>8417691
sorry to say this but i'm not a stupid wannabe i'm a stuntman
>does some showing fighting moves to intimidate him
>jumps foward and kick the dude

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>>8417233
>>8417228
>>8417192
>DING
>Smells like... breakfast?
>Frankie has bowls all dished up already.
Come and get it, everybody!
>"It" in this case appears to be meat-egg-veggie-bread... stuff.

>Vapey: nom
Huh
That's new
Not bad though
>Rolling for how decent dinner turned out...

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>>8417776
>decent dinner right on the edge of potentially awful
This tastes weird

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>>8417826
>Frankie: taste, shrug.
I rushed it a little, but it's better than McGhetsis.

>Vapey: giggle
Pretty sure this works with everybodys diets too
>nom
Try again in a few days?

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>>8417761
Stunt anon seems to of missed as the patron moved out of the way in time
He also seems to of landed on the table during the attempted attack
>"i wont miss this time!"

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>>8417912
stunt anon was punched in the dick
Ouch
>Armor is now broken as it only had 20 hit points
>stuntanon has 100/100 hp left (no more armor)
>patron has 100/100 hp left

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>>8417551
Don't expect me to just pour my heart out like that again.
I like you a lot, but I don't just say that to anyone.

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>>8417912
>stuntbro gets mad
ow you fucker
>stuntanon tries to hits back as hard as possible

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Aw, shit yeah. Gonna get out of boring-ass Sinnoh.
This real grunt hours up in this bitch!
Where the fuckin' foot soldiers at?

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>>8418057
>roll to smash that like button

>>8418057
Listening to an Archen yammer on about Arceus knows what and waiting on my contact to get me a plasma uniform so i can attempt active reconnaissance

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>>8418057
... phone posting, drinking, listening to shit movies play in the background.
>The shitty beer bottle is tilted back, Robert taking a two second swig before returning to browsing thread

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>>8417624
>>8418005

Yeah.... I'm still a bit apprehensive.

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>>8418172
Just get some sleep, dude

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>>8418041
(11:51 right now, and I'm tired anyway to continue this. apologies. another time? and is there anyway to communicate without thread to you?)

>"hahaha you cant hit if you're life depended on it"
>"you're not worth it you dumb ripoff"
he gives him a death stare and leaves

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>>8418106
.....

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>>8418106
Shit, you throwing down with the fuckin' Plasma-Aether alliance?
Either you got brass balls or you're fuckin' suicidal. I don't know which one yet.
My ex-boss wanted to fuck with them, I said "fuck no" and took scrubjobs. It paid off. They're alive and my old bosses aren't.
>>8418172
Fuckin' grunt life, man. I'm getting restless, just learned I got some shit I gotta pay for. Hocked some goods, but shovel-ghoul work ain't gonna pay rent, y'know?

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>>8418188
Eventually I'll earn your trust. You'll see I'm not out to hurt you soon enough...

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>>8418218
welp, i guess i i' should just keep drinking like nothing ever happened
>his crotch hurts a little nothing that some booze won't make it stop
(i guess there is the discord if you want to)
(but i stay here most of the time i so don't worry much)
(since i'm techinically on college break and waiting for it to come back i got nothing to do most of the time)

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>>8418057
In a ditch by a beat ass sign, doing absolutely fuck all.
The usual down here in Alola.

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>>8418285
That's what my last friends claimed too. and look at me now! HAAHA!

>>8418282
Most of what i do is fact finding work, nothing hostile
>>8418257
Got nothing against you salad man, jobs a job.

>>8418335
(Discord? If I'm not to hasty about it could I might join? Completely forgot /par/ had one)
-DnD Dog

>>8418057
Sinnoh is boring as shit. Just found out some bad shit about my mother I'm going to need to dig some money up for.
-Random Galactic Grunt

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>>8418354
Shee-it. I'm thinking of freelancing a job, nothing big.
Might take some extra carry-on bags outta the Region, you feel me?
Also, uh, I'm sending a request up the chain to see if an old threat was legit or not.
I, uh, might have a kid somewhere I ain't been paying child support for 'cause I ain't seen Momma since the last time we hooked up...

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>>8418354
A ditch? What sorta weird ass norm is Skull running you guys with?
>>8418282
Yeah, came home to an eviction notice. Ain't sure what I'm gonna do about this shit. Moving all my stuff into the car tonight, maybe those stuffy old bench seats will give me an idea.
Fucking shitty high ass Alola rent. Robbing a damn bank won't even pay for this shit.

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>>8418364
I can understand your caution. Take your time with this.
I'll even let you hold onto my knife if it'd put you at ease.

>>8418485
(sure there you go man https://discord.gg/tUWCu)

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>>8418492
Okay, dude, how bad is bad here? Is this the big C?
>>8418510
Fuck, man. I'm sorry...

Looks like we're all in some deep shit and need fast cash.
. . .
I got an idea or two. Absofuckinglutely insane, but it beats lying down in the road and waiting for death.

>>8418619
Sure fucking is. Gotta see about something.
What are you guys thinking up?
-RGG

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>Aria is on a beach in Unova
>She has acquired a radio
>Tunes in to catalyst

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>>8418676
Look, my ex-bosses were grade-A murderous fuckfaces but I'm pretty sure they left some of their shit behind. Assuming there's good shit that any of the other grunts didn't grab already.
Only the deepest hidey-holes, and anything in a legit bank would be untouched...

>>8418830
...And what bank would we have to rob?
-RGG

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>>8418510
Man I'm just hanging out.
It's comfy.
The sky is nice.
Etc.

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>>8418619
>>8418830
So this shit in a bank or what?
>>8418980
You need a place to crash or something? Back seat's open, bench seats are nice, all that jazz.