JOI/JOE Thread #24! (Jerk Off Instructions, Encouragement, A

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Posting some of last thread's content to start thread/help out people who didn't want to shift through the thread

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This thread not belongs to Israel.

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>>8080118

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>>8080130

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>>8080138

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>>8080146

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>>8080152

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>>8080157

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>>8080178

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>>8080193
I'm probably going to work on a few more tonight, but I'm going to take a "break" for a moment. I was, uh, piloting this starship with two hands today if you catch my entendre.

I was hoping to get the Scarlet request done today, but I think I want to be more refreshed to get that one done. I don't want to fuck around with the dialogue, which can either add or detract from the caption.

Oh, and don't worry about reposting stuff from last thread to "highlight" them for me. I wanted to mention last thread that there really wasn't a request there that I didn't want to do.

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Oh, yeah. And this anon's ultralewd SU caption.

As in the fake thread, I'll third the desire for nazi fifis and minervas. wish a drawfag would jump on it

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>>8080366
>>8080096
Did I get memed on with the "new" discord last thread? Well, here's the old one: https://discord.gg/Pfuebv6

Oh, and post some fifi and minerva images for reference too. I think I saved some but I'm not sure. Was actually planning on some more "nazi" stuff sometime today or tomorrow, so the timing is good.

Are you also that guy that did the anthro wolves fucking human women thing? That was pretty cool.

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>>8080118
Doing god's work

Need more Horse!
Perhaps maybe Nikita begging for a load or you to fuck her?

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Requesting shark boy filling in for the female sharks because shark week is over, power bottom for the viewer, would like the name Andrew used

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>>8080888
>>8080366

>>8080925
Get off the fucking board and come hang out ya cunt

>>8080925
Offence intended, fuck off with this personalized bullshit. Ruins otherwise good images on the booru. Get a personalized version on the side, not as the main version - the version that gets put on the booru.

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Given it's the sequel/prequel to a popular sequence, requesting some brain-drain/bimbofication.

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Didn't realize the thread was about to cap, my bad.
I'll post these again while the thread is fresh in case anyone wants to work with them

>>8080485
There arn't many specific pictures that cater to this, but here are some that may work for...

Fifi:
https://e621.net/post/show/82561/
https://e621.net/post/show/1088573/
https://e621.net/post/show/712248/
https://e621.net/post/show/1019684/
https://e621.net/post/show/995074/
https://e621.net/post/show/362529/
>>8001191

Minerva:
https://e621.net/post/show/102307/
https://e621.net/post/show/76972/
https://e621.net/post/show/60850/
https://e621.net/post/show/1091063/
https://e621.net/post/show/443569/

General:
https://e621.net/post/show/25427/
https://e621.net/post/show/78074/
https://e621.net/post/show/73979/


It's kind of tough since you need the iconography to really pull it together, however heres some that may work or at least work for general captions involving the character.
(also searching e621 for this stuff is a total crapshoot since barley any is tagged)

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I'm also excited to see the last part of this series, tomorrow i will drop the orange one and finish to write the right tags on the booru.

Good night everyone.

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Requesting a caption based on this pic. Wonder how a girl would feel being trapped in a full Nelson position, her undies out to the world and delicious legs open for fun caressing.

Perhaps a few watchers can come and touch her as she struggles, particularly her leg, midriff, thighs and panties, making her squirm and struggle...

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Requesting something with her helping you out since you seem pent up

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>>8080938
I greatly appreciate that crop.

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devious cheerleaders have made a cheering routine that makes men cum in their pants and they do the routine in front of you to make sure it works (spoiler: works perfectly, pants=soaked with cum)

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Lied about working on some more last night, kinda' feel asleep on the couch while drinking cocoa and listening to a podcast.

Comfy, but a shame. Worked on quite a bit yesterday, hope I can keep that up. While it may seem like I ignore some requests, I do try to finish as much of them as I can.

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>>8080096

Re-requesting Alternate version where Glowing Sea Deathclaw Matriarch defeats Anon and describes all the ways shes going to rape him while trying (poorly) to hide her excitement at finding a worthy breeding stud she can drag back to her den where the radiation will prevent him ever escaping her.

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Re-requesting
/SS/ with a shark girl

A shota is walking on the beach alone early in the morning when he sees a naked shark girl on the shore.
She says it's mating season and that she needs to get impregnated.
She sees his erection trough his swimming shorts and thinks he has a cute little cock and invites him to come over there to fuck her.
Focus on calling him a naughty little boy and emptying his balls deep inside of her so she gets pregnant.

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Something about Panko wanting you to paint her white would be nice

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Cadence asking you to fuck her brains out

>>8082177
Did someone do something for the blue one?

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Could we get some Garnet involving casual nudity?
Walking around relaxed and nude, only to find that it excites you, and offers for you to ditch your clothes and start masturbating with her?

>>8084272
"As many" not "as much." Gotta brush up on your count nouns bro ;)

Red correcting-pen, standing by.

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>>8087773
Yes, and the this is the continuation >>8080193

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>>8087773

>>8088053
wew, looks like i was more faster, should i delete that post?

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Bemp!

Eating some noodles, gonna' start working in a bit. Maybe after some LoL or something.

>>8080295
Oh wow you reposted my thing, thank you so much

>>8090832
Wanna try >>8082516?

>>8085716
what a strange set of genitals

http://scrungusbungus.tumblr.com/post/158208191211/fucking-femclaw-is-showing-up-in-story-threads-on

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Requesting, please.

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>>8092729
Or this pic if you like it better. I can't decide myself.

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re-request from a couple threads ago. Not sure if anyone knows who this is, but I'd like to request a caption of Anna Kaboom from Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal (if you don't know, she's kinda tomboyish in nature and a bit aggressive as well, so maybe a femdom-oriented caption would be in order)

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Nyotengu femdom

Alright, back from playing LoL. Gonna jerk it and work on some captions.

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>>8092656
>on /aco/

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Tanuki wife lovemaking and impregnating

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Back for realsies this time, took and shower... and stuff.

Gonna' work on some simple stuff today, get the thread and my brain started on writing.

>>8095243
pls notice me senpai >>8092729 >>8092756

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>>8095421
SHe's seen you eyeing Renamon (her digimon partner) so she decides to cater to your "interests" in the hopes you'll fuck her (and have Renamon walk in on you during it)

>>8080925
Kys yourself

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Request from the Discord to get warmed up. Some Lusamine and SPH, not too hardcore since I'm new to this thing. If anything, a picker-upper for guys with small dicks too.

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Almost all of these are cheating or mindbreak or some dominance fantasy
Would it be too much to ask for one or two with mutual love and attraction, maybe long-term relationship style, with impregnation and lots of "I love you"s?

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>>8096335
What are you? Gay?

(Yeah, sure. I'll work on this and some other lovey-dovey stuff sometime soon.)

>>8096335
It feels wrong to do that whole lovey long term thing with a canon character

Don't get me wrong the idea is hot af but it makes me feel like one of those niggas who pay thousands of dollars for rivers of commissions of a character and their oc

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>>8080096
we need a bee joi

>>8096408
This is still my favorite

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>>8096462
Doesn't have to be a canon character picture
I just feel that pose and face and whatnot set the mood for what I'm looking for
Just like this one too

>>8096747
BEES

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>>8096747
Hell yeah! Could i also get pic related captioned? This big wasp girl just flies right up and on your face and says she wants a bunch of babies.

>>8096132
LSP2: I'd suggest dropping the comma before "kid," sentence two.
Thoughts going through his head?

LSP3: Oh lord, this line. That's hilarious.

Is this even SPH? It almost sounds like encouragement. Or it's just really mild humiliation? I mean, it's not my cup of tea at all, but I got through this just fine.

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Nothing too much today. Parents are out so keeping the house running was a bit tiring. Might do some more later tonight/morning, but I don't want to break another promise.

That being said, when I get some free time I'm going to have fun in this thread. You guys have great requests. I don't really see any requests that I want to turn down hard. So it's only a matter of time.

>>8097318
SPH isn't my thing either.

LSP2: Drop the comma, really? I think I'm missing something... perhaps I'm tired.

>Small Penis Encouragement
Mmm... I think I can get behind this.

>>8097219
>>8096747
>insect things
Dudes, you people keep hitting my weak points.

>>8095421
You've been noticed. Any stories or ideas you want to throw with them too? I could think up a few, maybe in the first one she surprises you by walking into the men's showers or something.

>>8080925
hahahaahahahahahaha

ahahahaahaha

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>>8096747
NO NOT THE BEES
HER ASS IS IN MY EYES MY EYES

>>8095616
>>8080970
>>8080954
>replying more than once

>>8097454
>walking into the men's showers or something.

Back off, my dude, this one's mine

It's gonna be a bath house, just my japanese animes

>>8097496
Fight me. (I can't wait to see it.)

>>8097454
>You've been noticed. Any stories or ideas you want to throw with them too? I could think up a few, maybe in the first one she surprises you by walking into the men's showers or something.

I like it. And maybe make her a popular girl, way out of the reader's league, and she really tries to make him nervous.

>>8097529
>popular

What, like a high school or something?

Also does the character have a name to call her for it?

>>8097569
>What, like a high school or something?
Yeah, I guess.

>Also does the character have a name to call her for it?
It's Zenocoyote, apparently. Just Zeno for short.

I want to help gill requests, but have no idea how to make them

>>8096408
LSP1: If they're at home, I'd switch restroom for bathroom. Restroom is a little too public.

P2: I'd emphasize "are" here. You /are/ shocked, aren't you?

P3: The do it is kinda sudden? The thing starts off kinda sweet, but this is a little slutty, and not in a good way.
"but... I /want/ you, and I hope you feel the same way about me..."

P4: "I suppose that bulge of yours answers my question" or "...is answer enough."
"...get over here and... give me a shot? Give us a shot?"
Also, I'd use "care about" instead of "care for".

P5: "rather big" is really strange. "It looks |big|" might work more naturally.
"Promise me you'll take it nice and slow..." or you might want to throw an "okay" in there.
"Promise me you'll take it nice and slow, okay?"

RSP1: "Are you going to mount me and pop your friend's cherry?"

P2: Sink should be sank.

P4: I'd change "his woman" to "your woman"

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>>8097694
Always love to have more people on board, mate~

Dee made this "tutorial" a while back, but I think you're asking for the technical aspect, right? GIMP, PS, etc.

I think Dee also made another one for that, but we can help you if you need a walkthrough or something. I love helping people, and sometimes it doesn't involve making their dick wet.

>>8097742
That'd be much appreciated

>>8097454
You know what I mean, kid?
You know what I mean kid?

Either's fine, really.
Either's fine really.

Relatively minor thing, I spose my interpretation of the flow called for no comma. Feel free to leave it in.

>>8097454
LSP2: Something special, or maybe something extra special. Just "something extra" is a little weird since we don't have any real context or history.

P3: H-holy fuck that's hot.

RSP3: As much as I like it, watch out for repetition. Feels similar to LSP5.
Two uses of G-Gosh, two references to soaked clothing. (Do Gardevoirs even wear clothes? Like, is it a skin, is it fur, can they take it off?)

P4: I'm kinda disappointed we ended with a handy when we were getting head earlier. Consider switching the two around maybe? Or just give it a read over and see how it flows if you did switch the two. Feels like a downgrade to me. LSP3 feels like a climax compared to RSP4.

>>8097826
Alright, I'll work on these edits in a bit. I see what you mean with the Gardevoir one. I think I'm going to do a "2.0" of it. I was a bit lazy today and took shortcuts. I have an idea already. Since I mentioned "musk" i can use that to transition to a BJ.

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Motherly thicc Saryn?

>>8080925
Wait, are you the reason there are requests in the booru with the name Andrew in them? That shit is freaky. Cut that shit out, one Andrew to another. You creepy fucker.

>>8098582
yup, I enjoy the more specific self insert business and intend to keep requesting them

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>>8098649
It's creepy. Nobody will deliver.
I'm with that other Andrew. Cut that shit out, Andrew

>>8098918
>nobody will deliver
>clearly mentioned times it's happened before

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Friday morning bump!

>>8094779
Seconding for this.

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>>8097724
>>8096408
Thanks~

>>8096763
I was a bit surprised from the reception back in that thread, but I suppose it was something nice and new at the time (and still is). I need to get working on more lovey-dovey and/or vanilla romance sometime.

Possibly with that possum girl one.

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>>8097778
>>8097742

http://imgur.com/a/hHpo8

I made a somewhat shoddy guide to help out anyone looking to get started on making a caption and such. If anyone does need help I'm around to fill you in, even if it's something simple or even complicated. Going to make a proper, less shitty looking guide in the future too. Though this is a placeholder if anything for now.

Gonna sleep in a bit more, I want to work on tons of captions today. My dick is really feeling it.

...I mean, my non-dick brain parts are really feeling it.

mornin bump

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>>8103196
>"If you're curious, that puts your worth at just below that of a laboratory mouse. Specificially, a dead one. Sorry. Although really, you should be apologizing."
That was pretty clever

>>8082712
Yesssss

>>8103603
>>8103653
>>8103675

Less skin, moar fur! Stop posting boring ass humans!

>>8103716
You'll be happy today then.

>>8102420
>the possum girl one
Aww yeah

Bumping.

Sleeping in, day off today. Gonna work on some stuff in a bit later.

>>8097889
seconding more warframe stuff

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Requesting Toriel suffering from empty nest syndrome after Frisk left for college, her still single and having phone sex with an Anon she knows but hasn't seen except through the lewd pictures they send each other. Her giving him her address by the end of a very descriptive and lewd conversation of how Anon could make her happy with her begging him to come over and breed her so she can fill the nest again

>>8107406
Oh and maybe she could surprise Anon with a bombshell like that she remembers him being one of her students and surprised Anon thought she'd forget

>>8107406
>Tfw you get home from college to find someone younger than you is banging your adoptive mom

>>8108576
Are you kidding? Frisk would probably flirt with them regardless.

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>>8103716
My Glynda is not boring!

>>8102420
LSP1: Nose-deeo should really refer to "a book," singular.

RSP1: You accidentally the punctuation at the end of the paragraph.

>>8103196
Text's a little too close to the right side of the image.

P5: "And besides, it's not like your penis has much use other than amusing me, does it?"
Though really, I'd probably just end the sentence after "me." Makes it more final.

>>8107274
LSP3: Either, "you to cum over me" or "your cum over me" but not "you cum over me."
"I want your sticky spunk running in streams down my head, dripping onto my ears, my mouth, my eyes... I want my fur matted with your cum!"

LSP4: Start with "you can" in the second sentence needs an ending similar to the first. It's sort of incomplete as a question otherwise.
"You can nudge your dick...with your cum, right?" Cause otherwise you'd need to flip it so it's, "Can you nudge..."

RSP1: Drop > Get > Slide
It's a tense thing.

P3: Grab > Shove > Give
Would be the recommendation. Throw an "and" in there are the end, since you've basically got a list of three things. That or just put in something like, "fuck my throat hard."

You need a "you" after "Or."
"Or you might consider..."
I'd also suggest swapping out the second to last ellipses, and putting a comma in there instead.

P4: Whenever and anytime are kind of redundant, unless she's getting impatient. Which I guess is the point? Just think about it I s'pose.

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>>8109186
>>8102420
>>8096408

>>8109792
>uses a period instead of a question mark at the end of a question
I was starting to think I was rubbing off on you... Guess not.

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>>8109792
>>8109886
I just woke up from a nap. I didn't read the sentence.

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>>8109398
>>8107274

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>>8097826
>>8097454
>Do Gardevoirs even wear clothes? Like, is it a skin, is it fur, can they take it off?
The more you think about it, the deeper into the abyss you go.

You're right about switching things around so she's starting with "giving you a hand" and then giving you head. Basically a new caption now, and much better too.

>>8110628
Molto bene!

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Just throwing this out there, but if you're the type that doesn't want too much hentai/porn dialogue in your caption then just ask. Heck, I don't mind people getting specific with pretty much anything. If you guys want a one chapter story written about a picture or something then I'm game for that too (though when I do it is a matter of discussion). I try to be flexible.

>>8080888
It's nice to do some pone captions sometimes. It's short, but I also try to have some shorties every now and again for some quick "warm ups" or "finishers".

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Was going to work on the Legendary Trio thing from a few threads ago. The archive website seems down atm, however.

Just putting this out here so the OR knows I haven't forgotten about it. Might do a caption for this solo one, and then maybe a written story for the next one with all three.

>>8111320
Noice. No suggestions for changes.

>>8087811
Seconding this

>>8107274
>>8109990


does Eddie approve?

>>8111320
I wouldn't mind a longer caption or even a one chapter story of >>8082516 .
If you need specifics, call the girl Blizzaria

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Yandere Valentime strapping you to a table

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>>8082712
"Studying"

>>8113349
Yeah, I was looking at that one too and wondering whether I wanted something longer with a narrative and such.

I'll check out some requests and maybe do some longer writing for them sometime soon. I'll need to set some time for it.

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Poppy from Animal Crossing. A long overdue request from the Discord.

Not the most highbrow writing today, but I think it's some good warmup for more complicated ones.

>>8084375
>>8096335
>>8096747
I want to tackle the deathclaw, bee, and some lovey-dovey ones tomorrow. Probably not going to do all of them, or even 2/3 of them, but I like to get started on them sometime.

Hoping to maybe fill most of these requests by the time the thread is over (at least the ones so far). Assuming no one else does one, of course.

>>8115139
LSP2: "... but now you've gotten me hot and bothered as much as you are!"
Though, really, the entire sentence is kind of a mess. How about:
"Fuck, seeing that tent in your pants was one thing, but now you got me as hot and bothered as you are!"
Try to remix almost the entire thing. Seeing his boner is one thing, but now she's excited on top of it.

LSP1: Cream her body?

P3: Well first it's a visual thing, then you throw in a physical thing. The two don't necessarily work that well in conjunction. I'd recommend mentioning the feel of it between her tits, and have her wonder what it'd feel like inside her.

P5: I don't get this little closer. Is she asking him to distract her this time by doing some sexy things to her? Cause if so, I'd phrase it more that way. "Do you think you could "distract" /me/ this time?"

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>>8081246
I think it's alright, a bit simple. I might have to take a rest tonight and let my juices flow a bit.

I think I write best earlier in the day, so I'll try to shift my writing schedule a few hours earlier.

>>8115769
Gud brah. Seal of approval.

>>8116775
LSP1: Changed for a track meet wearing a bikini like that? Uh, you might want to consider a slightly different scenario, or opening.

P2: Since "Pffft" starts your sentence, "Sneaking" should be a lowercase "sneaking."

P3: Hooked "on," not "to."

P4: Again with the track team. Why not have her walking down the beach instead?

RSP2: Consider, "...I want you to make me scream." Minor thing really, but it's sort of an agency thing. Is he making her scream? Couldn't she be screaming right now? Obviously you mean screaming in pleasure, but you aren't that forthcoming (for lack of a better term) about it.

P6?: The ending here gets a little repetitive maybe? Just something to keep in mind for future really. Lots of digging/grabbing and whathaveyou with regards to her ass, Lots of mentions of thrusting. Second mention of screaming again too.
Just be mindful is all.

>>8115139
Anon who requested it here, that's awesome! The sort of friends with benefits thing always gets me going, love that scenario. Thanks man.

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>>8080295
>that background color

>>8117914
This one is my favorite.

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>>8116757
>>8115139
Thanks again, based anon~

>>8118248
No problem, amigo! I need to double down on the friends with benefits theme more.

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>>8116775
>>8116968
I can see my quality decline with the ones I do later in the day. Even more reason to work on captions around afternoon, dinner hours.

>>8117914
It has a certain charm to it, I admit. Makes me want to write that story sometime with "you" working in some galactic police/army force and sharing your ship with ayy qt3.14s

I should plan that sometime soon.

>>8119370
RSP3
Now the "suggestive" thing reads strangely. It's hardly suggestive when she's already stroking us.
I probably should've just suggested combining both sentences in the first place.

"Fu-Fuck, feeling your cock pushing through my breasts is making me imagine what something that big could do inside me..."


Good call on dropping the "distraction" thing at the end, but maybe switch "too" with "now"?
"Do you think you could help me with some pent up stress now?"
Should really be "could" to keep the proper tense, and this way it's pretty clear that she just helped us and she wants us to return the favour.

>>8119423
>>8119403
Uh...

Let's hope this one >>8119451 doesn't get deleted?

LSP1: I'd go with "on" the beach instead of "at" the beach, though I'm not terribly familiar with how far away the changing rooms are...

LSP4: Repeated "at the beach" here again. Besides suggesting "on," you probably want a different word? Or... change the action altogether? Something like:
"..though I'm not going to appreciate cum on my thighs when I'm working on my tan."
Throw in something about volleyball? I'm kinda out of ideas right now since I'm about to pass out, but I'd suggest something different than just "at the beach" again. "When we're walking down the shore" or somesuch? Focus on it being an action would be my advice here. She already mentioned the beach in general, now we want a specific action that the cum would make difficult or detract from.

I'm gonna hit the hay, see you tomorrow.

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>>8115139
>>8119517
Yeah, "suggestive" did feel weird too.

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>>8119451
>>8119517
>Let's hope this one doesn't get deleted
Screwed up a post (or two), aha. Wrote "change room" instead of "changing room". It really bothered me for some reason.

G'night too, gonna' get some proper sleep tonight. At least more so than normal.

>>8118397
I tried to pick a primary from the source image

>>8120235
Don't, it's too hard to read. Keep in mind that you're reading text off an image, if you need to darken the background or text do so.

>>8120278
What about the rest of it, did you like it?

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Request: cute feline learns to give head.

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Morning bump!

>>8120670
This image is... really, really good

bumping again, waking up.

gonna work on some stuff in a bit

>>8119653
>>8119674
Bueno.

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i'd like a narration pl0x

a stray hunter is hit by maccao's new "pin" attack, and she rides him like there's no tomorrow

the hunter then decides to take the L on this one and goes to see her every so often, rather than finishing the quest.

>>8126907
Oh sweet, this is Monster Hunter right? Was checking out another request from the Discord with that game too.

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>>8126979
it is indeed monster hunter

Alright, had something to eat and played some vidya. Working time, boiz

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>>8126907
Great Maccau is one sexy monster.

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>>8128124
this is true

>>8080096
>this writing
How do you guys get off to these?

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>>8128535
some people are so horny that they just need to masturbate then and there and don't really care as long as someone is talking dirty to them

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>>8087151
'ere

>>8128535
It's a dirty talk fetish, if anything. People just want something naughty to read when they're fapping to their favourite picture or w/e.

This is assuming you mean the hentai dialogue and such.

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>>8103716
Now now, let's not be pushy. This thread is for all sorts of content.

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>>8129124
>Princess of Love
>Being unfaithful to her husband

Forget trash, this needs to be shredded in a garbage disposal

>>8085716
Seconding this!

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>>8099844
>maybe you want me to bark a bit, huh?

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Ye oldie princess enjoying anal for the first time

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indignant Rararara slowly enjoying herself while sucking humey dick

>>8126907
femdommy mindbreaky goodness? maybe he can't bring himself to kill her but he can't stop coming back, ala crab girl/nekomata from MGQ?

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Princess demanding another round

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Feeling a bit down, so sorry about the limited content today. I think changing my sleep schedule so I'm sleeping earlier than normal is making adjustment a bit hard, but I'm hoping to be fine by tomorrow.

>>8084375
More deathclaw goodness. Always up for some more. I have quite the deathclaw collection.

>>8129463
Well, I can't say you're wrong.

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>>8129765
>>8085716
Oh, and I forgot to mention. I'm going to work on some more shark stuff from this thread and last thread as per usual when I get back to speed.

>>8131066
The anon who requested that had a great idea. Human summons an anthro semen-demon but isn't a furry himself? It wrote itself.

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Something with Mei pls

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>>8080130
shark grill best

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>>8133002

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>>8133002
>>8133002
>>8133018

>>8129124
P1: "You just caught me tending to my needs - as any mare does - so don't be shy around me..."

P4: I'd italicize "stud" instead of "my" if it was me.

P5: "Do you want that? Having a princess as your private cum dumpster?"
I'd add some more description/qualification to the pounding. Pounding her until what? To what end? Something like, "...you can pound into my tight pussy until you're spent and satisfied, and then you can make me walk back to my bedroom with your cum running down my thighs..." That way, there's some kind of finality to the first action, ya dig? You can X me until Y, then I can Z.
I'd also drop the "that" with regards to the moaning. "I'd moan so hard, the whole castle would hear me!"
Next sentence is kinda wonky too... I wonder if they'll find out? Isn't that up to her? It's better to make it something more... concrete?
I wonder what they'd think if they knew it was their sweet, pretty princess making those slutty noises?
I wonder what they'd say if they knew it was their sweet, pretty princess making those slutty noises?
I wonder what they'd X if they Y it was me, DIO!

>>8129463
>soldier
>captain of the guard
>implying we aren't Shining Armour in this story
>implying Cadence isn't fulfilling our deepest desires on a role play night
>implying this isn't immediately after the wedding, and this isn't the hot, raunchy, baby making sex that puts that hell spawn Flurry in her womb
>implying implications
>anthro
>only one set of hooves
>ishiggydiggydoo
>giving a fuck about plot device babysitter and out of nowhere brother
>still being on the ride

>>8129367
Is this up for editing? The first paragraph alone is a bit of a mess...

>>8132630
LSP4: Instead of the contraction, I'd go with: "Are you getting hard there, meat?"
I wouldn't recommend phrasing it as "dampen out." Either to dampen the heat, or to quench it or something along those lines. Sate her needs. Otherwise, you could say something like "out out that heat" as if she wants it extinguished - like a real flame. You would put out a fire, but you wouldn't dampen out one.

RSP1: Instead of "can't be too bad" I'd suggest either "won't be too bad" or "it won't all be bad" to imply that there's some kind of benefit to us. Like, "it's not all bad" sort of thing. Silver lining and all that jazz.

P3: Maybe throw one more thing into that breeding and cumming list? I kinda want to suggest switching the two, but maybe it'd be better if you threw another thing in?
"Fu-Fuck, we're going to be breeding, and cumming, and /fucking/ for |days|!" Y'know?

>>8133002
LSP2: I'd change the third ellipses to a question mark here. "Would you rather see me naked? That can be arranged~"

P3: I'd probably drop "some" here. "...taste for ocean meat..." You'd say "taste for blood" but not so much, "taste for some blood." The taste is kinda singular and doesn't work that well with non-count nouns if you catch what I'm trying to say.

P4: Starting two sentences with "And" back to back? That's a paddlin'
The back out thing doesn't make much sense to me either. I think I get the jist, but it doesn't come across clearly. The joke here is that she's supposed to be afraid of him, and not the other way around, right? "Look at the monster you were hiding! And to think you were scared of me at first! Sheesh!" Or something with "the other way around" if you can figure out a better way to phrase this. In essence, the tables have turned right?

RSP1: "a good enough" - quantify it.

P6: I know you are close, or, I knew you were close.

>>8133518
>>8133108
Awesome! I'll check these out in a bit.

Any soothing femdom stuff where a girl (macro preferred) uses the reader for sexual gratification, but she encourages the reader to enjoy it as well?

night bump

>>8132889
Not with that pic there won't

Any 4th wall breaking stuff

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>>8135987
This is the closest I've written. Not exactly sure what 4th wall breaking stuff would entail, however.

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>>8129124
>>8133108
>implying we aren't Shining Armour in this story
Basically what I was going for, but I didn't name drop so You can self-insert as some AU Shining Armor named "Bob" or whatever.

>only one set of hooves
Eww, who has hands for feet? 5/10, almost there.

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>>8132630
>>8133518
Shwweeet~

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>>8133518
>>8133002
"A woman’s natural vaginal lubricant contains an organic compound called squalene, which is also found in sharks."

You all have signed up for Shark Facts. You cannot cancel this subscription. This was my ruse this entire time!

morning bump, gonna be back later dudez

>>8082177
>>8088052
>>8080193
someone needs to make one with the sloot in the middle

>>8099844
If I have sex with her in the missionary position in hopes of making her my loving wife and bearer of my children, would she explode into flame and return to hell?

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>>8137220
Well, not a Captioner or anything but... I have already found a "good" image of her, now i'm thinking suggestions to put on the request.

Maybe i will post later today or tomorrow...

Also, bump.

>>8126907
>>8131947
YOU'RE BOTH WRONG

The Maccau takes a shine to the Hunter, and she just wants to stay with him forever, bonus points if she's dommy at first but then sort of "melts" in the pleasure.

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>>8135717
This one?

>>8138274
>doxy
REEEeeeeeee

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Requesting dragoness begging for her life to a knight sent to slay her, her offering the greatest treasure in her hoard and when the knight refuses she moves up to offering herself to him. At the end of the scene once both are satisified and the Knight asks for the 'greatest treasure' from her hoard, the dragoness chuckles knowingly and says that she would lay them in about a week ending it with 'Daddy'

Author doesn't have to use this picture if they can think of a better one, but I would prefer an anthro dragon over a feral one.

>>8131958
>no hooves
fucking disgusting

bumpu

>>8137912
Ayy, my first caption.

And yeah, can't wait to see that request.

I love the ones where this girl describes how she wants to get pregnant.

Alright, gonna start working soon. Was watching some patter songs all afternoon

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Can you make one of her in this pic wanting to get pregnant?

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>>8082177
Welp, this was the "best" image i can find about her, and i'm going to propose some suggestion.

>Be on the nude beach
>You found her doing some fckng photos or something.
>She recognize you, now she is angry for what you did to her friends.
>She insults you a bit, but is starting to blushing to see you naked.
>You know what it's happening to her, she is in heat and don't want to be the only virgen on her group.
>"Y-you..you only...C'mon... FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED, NOW!"
>She throw you on the sand.
>She it's on top on you.
>"C'mon... what are you waiting for.. you.. you cowa..hey..WHAT THE.."
>You start doing ANAL in her.
>"Wrong hole you basta.. fuck..."
>She likes it
>You finish cumming in her and she faints up

... or do whatever you want of course, i should start to make captions just to practice my english.

>>8145018
Little touches!
>You do Anal just to punish her
>She faints up by her orgasm

Well, i hope it's not to much...

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>>8138967
...and then you crown the dragoness with the diadem and you take over the world together.

Took some time to write this one, aha. Probably should have started with some "warm-up" captions, which is what I usually do. This one is pretty story-heavy, but I think it's cute.

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I would really love it if someone could do this one for me
straight shota foot fetish
A kid just got a new french maid from his father.
The maid discovers that the kid has a foot fetish because he is always staring at her feet.
So one morning when she goes into his bedroom she sees that he's got morning wood and would like to help him relive himself by letting him fuck her feet.
She massages his ball with her toes
Let's him rub his dick all over her soles and gives him a footjob.
And at the end he cums on her soles and toes.

Anyone got the Tapu Lele one that someone did?

>>8126907
Can't wait for this one actually

>>8144356
Judy is for Nick ONLY. Ree, etc.

>>8146054
nice. Me personally, I'd not bother with the diadem, I'd just create an army of draconic progeny and take over by attrition.

>>8147947
Nick's gay though

>>8146054
LSP1: "Who are you? You're... a human, are you not? Hmm, then you must have gotten lost to enter this den... Return the way you came, and go home."

P2: Wait what? I thought she was letting us go cause we got lost, but we're actually there to slay her? Maybe have her realize her mistake?
"No? Then... you are a knight that intends to slay me. I should have known from the sword and arrows. What monarch or man have I aggressed to warrant such hostility? Whatever the case, I care not: should I choose to strike you down where you stand, stronger numbers would return..."

"Dare I ask, what treasure from my hoard would you accept to leave and never return? I would offer my greatest possession: my mother's diadem. Give it to the woman of your desires, and claim powers beyond human imagination."

Though, are you sure you want to use "diadem" here? A quick google shows it as something like a crown, or headband.

P4: "Y-you do not wish to have it? I must beseech you to take it and be gone from this place! I have no wish to die here - by your hands - human! Is there nothing in my hoard that you would want?"

P5: "P-perhaps you want to have... me? While I saw desire in your eyes, I had no idea that it was for my /body/ this entire time... Is that what you want, human? You seek to d-debase a dragoness such as myself? Disrobe and b-begin then. Admittedly, I would not wish for this, but if that is the price of your mercy, then I must."

P6: "...get on top of me." perhaps?

RSP1: "There we go. Move your tip around - get it nice and wet for me. I need to be properly prepared when you claim my 'untouched treasure.' Aha... Imagine that - having my virginity taken a human, and a knight at that! The thought alone would repulse us dragons mere generations ago..."

P2: I'd change "can" to "may".

P6: Uh... not to kink shame, but maybe change "daddy" for a quoted "husband"? I can't help but hear it as something kinky at the moment.

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>>8148360
>those early corrections
This is why I need to rev up those fryers in my head.

>Though, are you sure you want to use "diadem" here? A quick google shows it as something like a crown, or headband.
I imagined it as something enchanted, where you need to give it to your "true love" and such. Maybe a double-edged sword thing where the person you give it to dies in exchange for the power or whatever. Just a simple artifact you'd see in a D&D game.

>but maybe change "daddy" for a quoted "husband"? I can't help but hear it as something kinky at the moment.
I think that's point, so I'll leave it in for the OR. Though I'll post an alternative version if others like that more.

>>8148036
this

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>>8148360
>>8146054
Husband edit.

I'll see if I can do more tonight. A mixture between sundays and sleep issues is making pumping out a content a bit hard, but I'm feeling better than yesterday at least.

I mean, I'm sure you guys don't care too much, but I don't want anyone thinking that I'm backing out from doing captions or whatever. I do enjoy them, and I'd do several in a day if I could.

This thread has made my dick raw. Impregnation is my number one fantasy/fetish.

>>8149141
>>8149057
RSP1: Virginity taken BY a human. You accidentally the "by."

P2: I should've been clearer about which "can" I meant. It should read:
"You MAY move your h-hips, human... I CAN take it..."
She's giving him permission, and letting him know she's sturdy. Doesn't make sense the other way around.

Based on the ye olde time-y writing, I suggested the "husband" switch because the kinky "daddy" didn't fit, but if that's what the OR requested...
I suppose you could throw in something like, "Are you ready to be a father, /daddy/?" if you don't like the husband thing (as an alt version that is). One with kinky daddy, one with it referring to the fact that he's fathering her offspring.

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>>8149367
>I should've been clearer about which "can" I meant.
Ah. I was going to ask why you wanted "I may take it" but I let it pass. I guess I didn't read the previous use of "can".

No, you're right. "Daddy" does take away from the old fashionedness by a bit.

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>>8149367
Daddy edit.

Thanks again, editor-chan!

>>8149657
Anytime, caption-kun!

night bump

It's just a minor gripe but it irks me when... I see every... single line... ending in ellipsis...

Commas are for a short pause, semi colons(;) are a longer pause; Which then leads into the next part of a sentence. Ellipsis are used when a sentence trails off because the last part is obvious what the person is leading onto and the words get left hanging in the air for the person reading to... you know.

Generally speaking though most of the time an ellipsis is used in these it is at a time where the tilde would be typically seen; kind of cute really~

Like I said; A little gripe but a small variation in structure could be nice to change the feel of the picture since punctuation determines the way something is pitched. You want the punctuation to enhance the words, not blend it all into 1 liners of words because you want it all to sound sexy.

Keep it up.

>>8149637

This is my fetish.

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Request dub of this only from the perspective of the eyes in the cave, all hoping desperately that this adventurer doesn't bang the bait and take off like all the others have and actually enters. Saying funny shit like fighting over who gets to rape him first, or blaming eachother for driving all the male kobolds away, or having the odd one crying over probably dying a virgin.

>>8149657
i still think it escalates too quickly

"you wanna kill me? how about take this ANCIENT ARTIFACT OF UNKNOWABLE POWER INSTEAD?" "no? ok, lets fuk"

>>8087811
This

pmub

>>8155018
I'll keep this in mind.

don't hecking die

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Reposting from the booru to bump
I like this one because she never really gets totally into it, just frustrated enough to speed things along

>>8154260
I make these kinds of suggestions whenever possible, but I think you might be confusing some things or otherwise reading into it wrong.

The commas are essentially short pauses - short enough that you're taking a breath, if that.
The semi-colon, I'd argue, hardly belongs in these kinds of things. It's rather formal, as far as I'm concerned. You'd be separating closely related ideas that are independent of one another. When in the world would you even see that in a JOI?
Whatever comes after an ellipses - if anything comes after it - isn't necessarily obvious either. Here especially, the "speaker" is merely trailing off, or coming to a temporary but longer pause. The tilde is not at all equivalent or interchangeable. One is a matter of pacing, the other a matter of intonation. You could make something sound "sexy" with the tilde, or you could space out a word, yes. The two do very different jobs however.
For the most part, the ellipses I've seen are used for much longer, pregnant pauses. The "character" has stopped speaking altogether, and then continues after a moment. Whether something is obvious (or implied) is dependant on context.

Do you have any good examples of improper ellipses use where a tilde would be more appropriate?

I'm with you on the structure getting a little too rigid, but sometimes (unfortunately) that's a necessary evil.

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Back! Gonna' work on some stoofs today.

>>8155018
Probably not a proper fix, but I had room to spare on the caption so why not add some more lines.

>>8160621
LSP4: "Imagine the power that a dragon could grant you should she become indebted to you."
or
"Imagine the power that a dragon would grant you should she become indebted to you."

The "I can give you anything!" doesn't really fit in with the theme - it needs to be more specific.
"I would give you whatever your heart desires!" maybe?

There must be something you want within these walls - stop staring at me and look arou-
W-wait...

It couldn't be that... You want to have... me?
For the record, I thought it was fine before. There was a paragraph worth of bargaining. Whadda ya want? Treasure? I've got great treasure. Nothin? Really? My body then?
Y'know? She's very clearly bargaining for her life, but eh.

>>8161069
Well don't do anything hasty on my account. Weigh everyone's opinions, try and do an objective reading of the piece, and do a little soul searching.
Just because I think it was fine, doesn't necessarily mean it was. The anon put forward that it went from bargaining straight to sex. I disagree. I think it flows rather smoothly.

Perhaps the anon means that the dragoness should offer him something before the diadem, and they weren't focusing on the transition to sex? I could see what they mean, even if it's fine to me.
Something like offering him his pick from among the hoard? Like a, "Take whatever strikes your fancy." Then, because he doesn't know or can't see the diadem, she offers that instead as a one-up bargaining chip kinda thing?

>>8161362
Right, I think I understand a bit better now. I suppose I wasn't putting too much thought into the premise at the time and was trying to figure out how to smoothly transition into the sex.

I can redo the premise a bit if people want it done, it wouldn't be too hard. Though I'm otherwise going to move on and write some new captions for now.

I think it's "alright enough" where it stands. I'm happy enough to keep it as is unlike, say, the Gardevoir one which I wanted to rewrite.

>>8161590
No worries. I agreed with you on the Gardevoir one since I thought it didn't escalate. You went from oral to petting, and that was a downgrade to me. The reverse was much better in my opinion, and I hope you truly felt the same way.

Ultimately, pleasing people is nice, but sometimes you need to put your foot down. Though I don't think that necessarily applies in this case.

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>>8087811
I hope it's up to speed, I still haven't seen SU so these Gems might be a bit OOC.

>>8161799
Oh, definitely. The Gardevoir one is much better now.

>>8085716
I need this!

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>>8138967
hey, it's my first time doing something like this and i'm new to the lewd talk thing, so i figured i'd give this one a shot

please be brutally honest, i'm trying to get into the whole joi/joe thing but i'm not exceptionally comfortable with the thought of virtually jerking people off.

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>>8163759
'Daddy~'" edit

>>8163759
>>8163775
also i'm very aware of the comma abuse

rest assured my comma key is receiving full compensation for it's hard work

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Something with this would be great.
Maybe fantasizing about all the ways you could dominate and master her.

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Renamon begging you to take them away from a life of forced prostitution and stripping, wanting to be with a real man that will make them into a proper wife. emphasize the kind of emotional pain they're in and how they didn't choose this life.

After the cumming part put in an epilogue about "where are you going? aren't we going together? WAIT" and crying.

>>8163968
>>8163759

Your text is crazy small bruv. While it's nice to have a large image, the text is the main attraction here. You might want to make your sidebars larger. Same goes for the text.

LSP1: Why life affirming? If anything, it should be life-threatening shouldn't it?
"He moved forward ... he placed" is wrong.
Gilded nature?
No point tying your first bit of speech to the description. It reads awkwardly.
"Without any particular directly to it"
You probably want "flesh and bone" instead of "soul" since that's a bit more common. I don't get why you'd even use "soul" unless you're implying no other creatures have one?
Encroach "upon"
I wouldn't capitalize the "feminine" after the ellipses because you shouldn't be coming to a full stop there.

RSP1: Before him lay, or laid before him. Improper use of "lie" here.
"iher" is a typo

Bottom third: I think you wanted "amethystine" as well... Why even bother though? We've got the image for that.
Covetous is an adjective. What the fuck are you doing here, writing with a thesaurus?

~~~

This is just a small sample of the things I could be bothered to find. The text is a pain in the butt to go through honestly.

If you want to post the plain text, it'd be much easier for me to look over. Otherwise, what you have is better used for a short story since you spend 3/4 of the image giving us the backstory and just about 1/4 giving us the "good stuff."
While I applaud your effort, and the detail, it's mostly wasted on something like a JOI. While context can make or break it for any one person, you're kind of wasting our time.

The writing is verbose at times, and it almost feels like you just turned to a thesaurus at others. If I had to, I'd give this piece a failing grade. You're missing the most important part of the image, and there's practically no rising action or climax.

I also just realized that the image is fuckhueg. Try and get it so we can see everything at once instead of scrolling.
D-

>>8162622
Ridiculously OoC buddy, sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
While I don't have anything to suggest/improve for the image, it's kind of inappropriate for Garnet. Wrong almost?
Garnet's the cool and collected one. Very aloof most of the time. I don't mean to sound like a purist, but if you're going to do a gem JOI you should be familiar with the implications and characters and whatnot...
Ugh, now I just sound crazy.
Feel free to just ask for character points I guess?

>>8163759
>>8163775
>>8164688
Just realized that it isn't the image that's huge, it's the proportions. Other capper's images are actually 4k by 1.5k, so yours are actually smaller. The main difference is that I can read their text when I expand to fit the thread's width. So it's really just your text that's way too small.

>>8165036
Ah, so the Garnet "in my head" wasn't too far off from the show. Putting that character into a JOI is pretty hard, however. I mean, unless I get REAALLY into her character.

I might almost have to do a narrative approach, since that could probably fit Garnet a bit easier than having her "instructing" you in a slutty way.

> Other capper's images are actually 4k by 1.5k, so yours are actually smaller.
My text borders tend to be about the same size (more or less) than the image itself as a rule. It seems to work better for 4chan.

>>8165292
Almost impossible to put her in a JOI if you ask me. Then again, you could play with the future vision aspect and work around it that way.

I mean, if someone's willing to zoom and scroll around, more power to 'em. It seems to work best to me if you can read the all the text and see the image right away.

>>8164378
Yeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

No

>>8164378
>After the cumming part put in an epilogue about "where are you going? aren't we going together? WAIT" and crying.

Dude...

>>8165412
>>8165472
I try not to go against OR, but the story sounds pretty cute if it ended with a schmaltzy happy ending.

>>8165667
OR here, I'd be willing to take a happy ending version too if it alleviates me getting needless (you)'s expressing discontent.

>>8158093
I keep seeing this and thinking she's an amputee, kek

>>8165857
I thought I was the only one

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>>8085716
shark on shota has my seal of approval

>>8165952
>>8165857
I'm glad I'm not going insane, I see that too.

>>8165688
Awesome~

I think the premise you gave was almost too good. It was tugging at our heartstrings too much that we couldn't deal with the bad end.

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>>8096747
Beekeeping 101: Fuck the Bees

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>>8167919
Thinking about doing a continuation with this one too. Perhaps with you putting a haughty Bee princess in her place with your big, monkey dick.

>>8164378
Dan nigga you Ice Cold tho

>>8164688
i can confirm i did not use a thesaurus, i summoned the power of 3 bottles of bourbon, my 8th grade vocab lessons, and sheer autism

>>8166347
I know the bad end is hard to swallow but I'd like one with it because that's for me, feel free to make everyone else happy though. If you don't mind, include it thinking of all the happy times it intends to share after you take it home, cooking dinners, cuddling in bed, playing vidya, all to be broken at the end when you leave without the,.

>>8166347
LSP2: I'd drop the apostrophe after kiddo.

RSP2: I'd say "outstretched leg" here. Otherwise, you'd probably have to go with something like "raised leg" to better describe her position.

RSP3: The "knowing" here kinda changes up what follows... Let me see if I can explain.
Okay, so either the act is depraved or it isn't right? So something like, "Mmnph, and sating my heat by fucking a human boy is so depraved!" conveys that.
If it's the knowledge that she's doing that thing, as in the thought alone, then it should probably have something to do with her feelings.
"Mmnph, and knowing I'm sating my heat by fucking a human boy feels so depraved!"
Turboautism indeed, but that's the way I see it. Hope you catch my drift and see other solutions too.

>>8167919
Kek, that filename.

LSP1: Uh, why does she assume we're masturbating right off the bat? Maybe bring up a raging erection or something? Just feels odd. Or, perhaps it's mating season in the area?

RSP4: "That you cum at the same time" Does this mean "us" and the bee? Could use just a tiny bit more clarity. Perhaps something like, make her cum with you? Make her cum as you splash her womb with your spunk? Something along those lines?

Something like this would probably earn a JOI tag if I were the diligent type and actually bothered going through the booru.

man what happened... this used to be awesome and more diverse. Oh well.

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here try this one

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>>8168944
and/or this one

>>8168554
What the fuck are you talking about

It's always been furry trash here

>>8168554
only like 1 guy is filling these and he has the same preference for words like Stud, using ellipses, tildes, lots of noticeable things.

Shit, weren't your very early threads on this in aco? Your style looks very familiar.

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>>8168436
>>8166347

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>>8168436
>>8167919
Awesome!

>>8168554
Ah, you mean the furry stuff? I try to do some human/non-anthro stuff sometimes, but I do admit that I have a bias. I am thinking about doing one or two today, perhaps the footplay maid one and an overwatch one.

>>8169681
Oh, and if there are any complaints over "repeating" things just mention them. I'll try to avoid them/cut them out if people don't like them.

I'm pretty flexible. I don't care too much about having a "style" set in stone if someone brings me a chisel.

>>8170383
Incredibly Dee wrote those captions back in /aco/. I was a huge fan then too. I've been pretty much aping their style since I started writing these.

I figured someone should "hold the torch" so the thread didn't die. I don't think I'm particularly great at this, but I try to keep people entertained.

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>>8163759
>>8163775
Ah, that was fun to read. That echo thing where she communicates with the knight was pretty cool.

Like the other kind-anon said, perhaps you need to lengthen out the "lewd" bits some more. I think there's a case to be made that jumping straight into the sex can spoil the broth, but having some meat in there wouldn't hurt too.

Don't get me wrong, your method has great potential. The writer in the Undyne general does something similar to great effect, but I think a balance between lewd and non-lewd needs to be made. I like what you did with the dragoness, I really do, and I wish the sex was expanded a bit more because I was getting into the character (and so was the knight).

Maybe have your "story" included in a pastebin to read, and perhaps the "lewd" parts included in the captioned image? It helps save space in the image and allows the reader to "use" the caption far easier when they "meditate on what they learned." Also, anyone that doesn't want to read the bulk of the story can view the caption right away.

Aha, I'm thinking aloud here. I'm planning on doing some story stuff also in this thread and in others (aco's xeno thread for example) so I'm wondering how I'm going to do this too.

>>8164299
Looks like she's in heat and needs a dicking

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Bemp!

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Hardmode Challenge

>Temmie prostituting herself to an Anon for her college tuition
>Temmie obviously can only speak in Temmie speak
>Somehow make her descriptions hot

>>8174092
sheeeeit

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Humbly requesting first time fucking from an eager Ventuswill.

Will put up some examples of her personality

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>>8175411

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>>8175416

>>8170742
Thank man its good.

Got up, gonna work on some captions in a bit.

>>8175411
Oooh, this seems neat.

>>8175411
this one is just begging for anal

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't get enough of gen impregnation stuff

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>>8177605
Oh thank you for considering it at the least!

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I want lustful cheating Marge

>>8177605
Alright, back. Time to finish up this thread.

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>>8178163
No. Please god no. I'd rather stick my dick in an electrical socket while shoving a broken beer bottle up my ass.

>>8179376
Maybe include >>8177688 ?

>>8179882
Yeah, I'll work on that tonight too. Was going to finish something up, but I have to go out and do a chore.

Gonna be back in 30-60 minutes.

>>8178163
Homewreckers begone

>>8120670
>the brit and the swiss are sucking brown cocks
pottery

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>>8146996
/ss/ is something I can get behind. Feetplay is always nice too.

>>8147947
>>8148036
So you're saying that you want a caption where Judy is getting knocked up by Nick, except Nick isn't into it because hes gay? So, basically, Nick is just a sperm tank? Kek, I could do that.

>>8181045
>>8120670
I might check out this pic. It's hot enough that it probably doesn't need too much "dialogue"

Bumping, got back from some dinner. Going to keep working tonight.

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>>8081282
Something simple, but I like this picture.

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>>8080178
I like the idea, but it feels weird to hear Kanga say human

The 100 acre woods inhabitants aren't very smart (even kanga), so I think she would say child or you instead. Like she may know how to be lewd, but probably in a rudimentary kind of way.

I still liked it though.

>>8177859
>your doing a good job
>your
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8181277
LSP4: I can't help but feel like the "ashamed" paragraph is awkward. "There's no reason to be ashamed of your penis" perhaps? Or, "There's nothing to be ashamed of - your penis is /huge/ and /hard/!" though I'd rank that as a distant second. Mull it over and see if you catch my drift.

P5; Watch the "thighs" reference. You're doing it a lot lately.

RSP2: "...and we haven't EVEN started the next part!"

P5: Feet - plural, it - singular. Like THEY'RE a fleshlight.

>>8183284
LSP1: Again with the thighs. One, it sounds awkward, and two you use it too much.
Maybe go with something like, "Is that an erection? Oh sweetie, you don't need to try and cover it up."
Can I suggest not going with "son" right off the bat? I get that it sets the whole thing up, but it always feels so forced.

"Hey there sweetie! Just got back from the changing room and... is that an /erection/? Oh no, honey, there's no need to try and cover that up! Hahaha~ I'd say I'm flattered that I can still get that kind of reaction out of a man, but I guess it's the sunbathers that're getting you all hot and /bothered/.

P2: I'd drop the "you think" if it were me. "I'm a 'cool mom' right? I know how you boys get around women, so go ahead and whip out your dick. Aww, don't worry about being embarrassed in front of your mother, just drop the swimming trunks and start stroking! Theeere we go..."

P3: "...you must have GOTTEN so horny WHILE I was gone!"

RSP1: Here I'd actually use "take off" or maybe "slip out of" when it comes to the dress. Though the pussy thing is kind of really up front. Maybe "some first hand material" or something like that? The second pussy reference would be a nice surprise in my opinion if the first one is replaced with something more vague.

P2: "hot dick to THE SIGHT OF my pussy" perhaps? A bit verbose, I realize, but I almost misinterpreted it.
"inside ME" "that I'M your mommy"

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>>8183723
>your doing a good job
I was going to fix this, but I already have. It's even up on the booru. I imagine it's a pre-edited one.

>>8183981
I will try to fix the new edited images tomorrow...don't worry

Good night!

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Writing some more, might overflow onto the new thread. If someone wants to make it, be my guest too. Otherwise I'll just pick a random image and go with it.

>>8183723
I like these edits when I think something wasn't too good about a certain paragraph or something but I couldn't put my finger on it.

>The second pussy reference would be a nice surprise in my opinion
I don't know why, but you're dead right. That fits much better.

>>8184054
Thanks! I'm not sure whether you're editor-chan or tag-sama, but I appreciate it regardless!

>>8164378
bump

>>8080096
Wow, this thread lasted a whole week!

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Going to make a new thread.

>>8185728
I wish it went faster, but I'm pretty slow when making these aha.

>>8185968
She looks positively drunk on dick

>>8184194
RSP2: The "first hand material" is actually wonky now that I see it in place.
"...and help you get some first hand experience" maybe? Though that's pretty up-front at this stage of the caption.
Something to do with a front-row seat? Or a private show?
"Mhmm, how about I slip out of this dress and treat you to an extra special show?"
The idea being we're getting something much better than staring at the other beach goers.

"Mhmm, how about I slip out of this dress and give you a special treat? No 'buts,' mister! I want you to cum so hard that you won't be bothered by another boner today. My pussy is for your eyes only, so if that's what it's going to take, then I'm going to do it!"

>>8185968
LSP1: Walk around the house? The "go" sounds kinda awkward, unless you throw in something about us going around naked. I'd still use "walk" in that case though.

RSP2: Maybe swap out the first sentence for something like, "This is a |one time only| deal, alright?"

>>8186092
>>8186145
I'll work on this edits and post them in the...

>>8186135
>>8186135
>>8186135
Next thread, boys.