HG - Hunger Games
>Dusty drops one of the three necklaces around his neck and lets the other two slide down his arm, resting on his elbow. He drops his hand down to his belt and fiddles with one of the straps, opening a rectangular pouch and retrieving a handful of throwing knives. He hands them over to the girl.
Now, these amulets provide luck, but there is an extent to their power. I'd say that, no matter how good of a shot you are, they'll only work for sure at around a fifteen meter range with projectiles. To prove their quality, though, I'll take a gamble and stand at ten meters. If I'm hit with a knife, I'll consider it a wound to my pride as a shop-owner.
>He turns and walks to about ten meters out, just as he said he would, and spins to face her.
Alright, go ahead. Whenever you're ready.
hello yes it is i, Foggy from Pokermuns
If you're hit with one, you might end up with more than a wound to your pride. Assuming the blade goes first.
>Ruri, with at least some understanding of how to throw a knife, takes one by its blade-end and hefts it. She shakes her head when, to her untrained feel, there's nothing noteworthy about them. They may be balanced, or woefully unbalanced. A lift, in roughly the right form, brings the hilt-end up near her ear, and she throws the knife. Ten meters is a lot for a schoolgirl, but she can at least make that distance...whether or not the blade goes true is another story. A -3 to Dex story, probably.
>Cardoso seems surprised by such a vast inventory of weapons, asking to himself how Dusty was able to carry all of those items around. But he shakes off the thought of any implausibilities, perhaps he was stronger than he appeared. He stands up again and puts his hands on his hips, inspecting all of the bows, blades, and other assorted instruments. He takes another drag from his cigarette as he bends down and takes a fine-looking rapier.
This one looks like my style. I'm not exactly a professional in the field of combat and its weaponry, but this feels serviceable enough. How much gold would this be?
Lethargy? Yes, I suppose that would make more sense. Rolls off the tongue better. I would be embarrassed, looking like a fool who can't speak his own language, but I'm not a poet or a professor of linguistics. I'm just Jo.
Currently got a mining code in production. If anyone wants to give me events to make it more wholesome then shoot.
With no canary to send in (Player1) convinces (Player2) to go in first. (he/she2) is never seen again.
(Player1) pockets a shinny rock they found while mining, not knowing it's pyrite, Fool's Gold.
(Player1) loves to build brown bricks / other Minecraft memery.
>Insert The Descent reference here
That's a risk I'm willing to take for my business, my lady!
>Even to a professional, the throwing knives would seem untampered with. The blades soar past the ten meter mark and, for a second, seem like they're on a straight path to Dusty's chest. However, near the halfway point, the knife begins to spin in midair, and swerve ever so slightly to the side. Dusty remains firm, arms spread out to both sides, eyes closed, and a confident smile on his face, as the knife is just barely blown by the wind off-path, and only slightly skims his armor. He opens his eyes and grins.
Satisfied, or do you want to do it again?
>Dusty smiles and walks over to the rapier, gesturing the man to hand it over for a moment. He takes it in his hands and examines the ornate carvings in its hilt, tapping its end with his thick glove. After a few moments, he hands it back, the same smile as before.
You have good taste, sir. This is one of the finest rapiers in my collection, or at the very least, from my favorite set. This one in particular is lined with silver, made specifically for the Duelist Guild's small and mostly unheard of War on Werewolves. It only lasted a few days, and this is one of the many relics left over. It's definitely a high quality piece, to say the least.
You're my first official customer, speaking in weaponry, so I'd be willing to let this piece go for two hundred-twenty gold.
You're trying awfully hard for someone who isn't a poet, nor a professor.
>Ruri has already hefted up another, giving her arm test swings.
I'd like to use up all the knives, if that's possible.
>Calm as she might have said that, she doesn't give Dusty a warning before she throws the next, hopefully on-course, and maybe with as much success as the first...except for the luck save, but that wasn't her fault.
I'll do it. Who am I fighting?
Not a p-!
>Dusty's cut off as the knife dramatically arcs downward, at an almost ninety degree angle, and embeds itself through his boot and into his leg, just above his foot. He cringes in pain, but still smiles nonetheless, as the knife was on a clear path to his head before the amulet had kicked in.
No what the fuck? You didn't let me switch avas you cunt.
>Ruri, enjoying herself far too much, had already thrown the next knife by the time Dusty called for it. No ax crazy smiles split her lips, nor does she have a wild glint in her eye; it's simply a more-intense form of stress relief for her.
Already on it. Keep up, please.
You snooze you lose
>The knife soars directly between Dusty's legs this time, dangerously close to the unmentionables. He manages to keep his panicked reaction internal, though barely, as he quickly leans down to tug the second knife out of his leg. Like ripping off a band-aid, he pulls it out in one movement, before standing back up straight and shaking out his injured foot.
O-Okay, I can't keep this up forever, are we gonna wrap this up soon?? These are luck amulets, not invincibility!
>Cardoso hands off the rapier, patiently waiting as the merchant inspects its details. He tosses his cigarette onto the ground away from them, unsatisfied with it at this point. When Dusty hands the blade back to him, he smiles and points it at the ground as he fumbles through his pockets for the right amount of gold.
Really now? I might be fit for the weapon trade after all. I can't say that I know what in the hell you're talking about with the Guilds and War on Werewolves, seeing as how we're obviously from different times, but as long as it can pierce an enemy, I'll be satisfied. The detail of it is quite the bonus, however.
>He hands over a sack of two hundred-twenty gold, as requested.
There we are. I'm glad I got that welcoming payment when I did. Now - I should really be on my way. Thanks again.
>Cardoso pulls a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and puts them on, walking away with a new weapon in tow.
Am I? I would disagree, saying this is just stream of consciousness conversation, but I really don't have time to argue. Good luck out there, Ruri.
Oh. Alright. Guess I can't host now. Good night.
>disappears from existence
Not a problem, sir! Thank you for shopping! My stall is always open! Best prices in the realm, tell your friends!
>stabs you with a sword in real life
Good, we don't deserve games.
I still have three knives.
>Ruri holds up two, the other in her hand, ready to be thrown at a moment's notice. Or impulse, in this case. Sheer insensitivity doesn't explain this level of callousness, and she greets his discomfort with a little smile.
I'm sure if you're lucky, they won't do anything permanent. Maybe a nick here. I suppose those two hits were just unlucky. Or, maybe, since I'm not very good at throwing knives...that amulet affects the area around it?
>Another knife in the air.
Thanks, you too.
>see you from a distance running to me with a sword
>just fucking shoots
To be fair, you have to have averyhigh IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volyaliterature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to trulyappreciatethe depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epicFathers and SonsI'm smirking right now justimaginingone of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how Ipitythem. And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand
We had like 20 of them
None of them were impressive at all
They all left after 2-3 days
>cuts your bullets in half
You *URP* guys were just...just meeting the wrong Ricks. Like...th-the boring one, and the one that likes, uh, fried pickles or something. When you, when you get a real Rick, then *BRRP* you can c-call them shit. But they're not. YOU'RE shit. Shit-*URP*-bag.
>Dusty braces himself and closes his eyes once again, but this one, like the first, curves and whiffs under his left arm. He sighs in relief, readying himself for an inevitable second projectile coming his way any second.
They affect a short radius around them, but they really don't have any usage unless the person is wearing them on their neck! The aura has to be engulfing both the wearer's brain and heart for the effect to take place!
>still cuts it in half and stabs you
>The second knife, thrown during his explanation, falls short - Ruri's own failing, not Dusty's luck - but the next comes at the end. It zooms through the air, easily clearing the ten meter mark, but 'luck' would have its path at the end. Vindictive as her intent is, Ruri probably doesn't expect anything too damaging to come of it.
So that's how luck works? I'm glad you have it down to a science. I might be interested in that amulet for 75 gold.
A hundred gold!
>He confidently yells, smiling widely, as the final knife zooms centimeters away from his neck, falling to the ground a good five feet past him.
>rp fights you
>I don't like this
Banning whoever the fuck I feel like
>As much as the amulet's properties have been impressed to Ruri, she remains locked in her unimpressed expression. The absolute poker face remains as she turns half from Dusty, and makes a show of thinking.
It's not exactly perfect, is it? I mean, it might be powerful enough to keep you from dying, but we've already seen that you have a decent amount of luck on your side to begin with.
>She shoots him a look.
Make it eighty-five, and you'll have a customer.
Literally me getting ready to watch the Browns lose.
None of my avatars can actually fight. All they can do is be fucking nerds and talk their way out of conflict
What the fuck.
Well, my lady, it is only an amulet of luck. Very few mages in the world have mastered any form of invincibility, and fewer still, to the point where no one even knows that it's possible, have managed to compress that kind of power into a piece of jewelry or armor.
>Dusty had already been at work stripping himself of his boot and shinguards, bandaging the deep knife wound he'd gotten from the exchange. He holds up the three amulets, pointing to the silver one.
I'll give this one to you. Ninety gold.
>Ruri shakes her head, and points at the amulet that rested around Dusty's neck.
No, that one, and for eighty-five. Not a coin more, but also not a coin less. Hurry up and either accept or deny, we've got to get ready.
SWAP ME OUT FOR WOLF GUY OVER HERE
A golden amulet, complete with a golden topaz in the middle, carved intricately by the Crafter's Guild themselves, and you want me to hand it off to you for eighty five gold..
>Dusty grins and laughs under his breath, taking the amulet off and looking down at it in his palm.
I must be losing my touch. Alright, it's yours. Been in the trade business before? It'd suit you.
Swap me out for
>>11590125 so he can stay
Ah finally, something to do other than sitting around and getting old.
>The samurai stands up and stretches.
Let's get on with it then!
Let's get it on!
Never. I just have common sense.
>Ruri takes the amulet in hand, and flashes Dusty a smile. There's an almost child-like sense of accomplishment leaking out of her expression.
And you have eighty-five coins you didn't before.
>Which she drops into his palm, in a sack, from some point or another. Probably bounties from games.
>Ruri dons her new amulet and gets ready.
>He smiles, dumbfounded, and pockets the coins.
Good luck. It's Dusty, by the way.
>Ruri looks over at Popeye, while she rides shotgun.
You drive. I don't have my license.
Note to self: D-Do not board giant death traps in the future.
O-Ok I get it, I shouldn't have played.
Damn, I'm jobbing again...
Lucky for you, sir, I carry a map on me at all times! I'll escort you for just five gold!
YOU WON THE LAST ONE RIGHT? I need to get some extra points here. Just, block the gunshots would ya?
Don't worry, I have just the thing to kick this baby into high gear!
>he proceeds to put spinach in the tank. Suddenly, the jeep goes at mach speeds
"...I just woke up and the first thing I see is Fyxe getting destroyed again."
>Roxas sighs, sipping from a mug of coffee
"She tried, I guess."
YOU'RE LUCKY THAT I WANTED TO SEE YOU GET YOUR ASS KICKED, BROTHER!
JUST BE GLAD I'M NOT IN THERE TO DO IT MYSELF!
Someone remind me to ban Rin from my games.
I'll win it for you cat bro, then I'll give you a title shot.
AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, BECAUSE THE WULF SAID SO.
A-a little TOO fast, don't you think!?
>They zoom right by her place, and after parting, Ruri's head is still spinning while Popeye meets his misfortune.
Iiii'll take this, and this.. Ooh, and this, this has nice resale value..
Are you implying I'm always getting destroyed, wasted, choked? I-I'm not. I'm the top dog around the best HG player...
>her ears drops down
I'm a jobber...
I DON'T NEED YOUR TITLE SHOT, I ALREADY KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I'M THE ONE TRUE KING OF THE RING, BROTHER!
It's a skill you pick up after years of trying
Glad you liked my edit.
Host?! Why are you showing everyone my embarrassing failure? Move on already!
>Samurai puts her hands over her face to hide her shame.
TH-THANK YOU SPIKEY!!
PRETTY HARD TO BE KING OF A RING YOU AREN'T IN.
Sorry fire and brimstone, but it never gunna happen
BOTCHED I- Oh hey I'm back.
ROUND TWO! SHOW TIME!
>receives a hatchet
i do not know who this is from
>Ruri takes the shift to light-speed like an over-stimulated, brain-dead champ. At least relativity isn't a problem in the arena.
>Meanwhile, they pass her house several times, while the second TV she didn't know she had is stolen.
H-Hey, don't make fun of my filenames. They're a distinct and confusing style.
As long as you let me breathe, this is tolerable.
>Dusty holds the dying Beowulf in his arms, clutching his cloak.
No! No, don't die! Don't die on me, sir! If you died... If you died.. I would have to use a resurrection scroll on you, and they're so expensive!
>Dusty begrudgingly unrolls a scroll.
Who wants their dick sucked?
"You're... not the best fighter, honestly."
"Not everyone is, even my old coworkers had someone that wasn't good at combat, his name was Demyx, if anyone had regrown their Hearts first, it was him. He was our info guy, given his ability to hear things through water. Put a glass of water somewhere in the same world and he could tell you what was said in a ten foot radius around it. That wasn't his only power, but it was why he was in the organization."
>The Nobody slurps his coffee, watching the battle.
"Or Vexen, our scientist."
I DON'T NEED TO BE IN THE RING TO KNOW THAT I'M THE KING, THAT'S JUST HOW MUCH OF A KING OF THE RING I AM, BROTHER
I'm not making fun of them. I like 'em. They inspired me once too...
Huh. Well, that's unexpected. Why the weird spaces between the clumps of confusion?
>The driver of their lightspeed jeep incapacitated, or worse, dead, Ruri's shock at finding an explosive in her lap makes her yelp.
Get me off this crazy thing!
You, go do that elsewhere! This isn't a brothel it's a bloodbath! Shoo shoo!
>Miyamoto pulls out her sword complete with its sheathe and nudges the little girl away.
Pfft, what a gullible meathead. Sparing an opponent in an arena is but the most moronic thing you could do.
>Berkut takes out a cloth to cleanse his lance of the sailor's wretched blood, and he tosses the used cloth on the corpse of the sailor to disgrace him even further.
>this event didn't happen, Rin isn't overpowered or killed
Figure it out.
>Finally escaping the lightspeed prison with, well, something, Ruri finds herself playing the custodian to the cute .gif.
I feel like a babysitter.
I was trying to be nice y'know. If ah knew you wouldn't be such a honest opponent, I would punch you into the cosmos and back.
Ah... OKay. Huuh. I guess it's nice if you're a stalker or something... You never told me what was your edgy nerd club about btw...
The spaces? Whe-
It's too deep for you to understand, each space are purposely placed here according to an ancient summerian symbolism. Totally
>Berkut just licks the lollipop like how someone normally would, and he glares at the man with disdain
What? Do you have business with me, cretin?
Excuse me? I am not a harlot of a man, and my love only belongs to my Rinea.
Failrp, I said I didn't
Why do you always have to godmod me?
Huh? Are you kidding? Twilight went on a huge Sumerian kick at one point. I got schooled thoroughly in Sumerian symbolism. I never heard anything about spacing like that.
But I guess there could be holes in my knowledge. What's the reasoning?
And my work here is done.
>Ruri flicks the blood off the mace, then tosses it to the side.
>So enthralled by the gem, the dragon pays no mind to the chin scratching, as demeaning as it is.
Don't worry about it. Stuff like that happen sometimes! Thank you for telling me, still!
"...We were the bad guys."
>He sets down the coffee mug, gritting his teeth.
"We destroyed Heartless, sure, but we were trying to build Kingdom Hearts from the Hearts that we recovered by doing it. Demyx used his powers to find the monsters, they sent me and usually a couple of others at a time to destroy them."
>A long, low sigh escapes his lips.
"Worst part is that some people were working to make more Heartless, so we could take the Hearts. They didn't care who they hurt, as long as we got Kingdom Hearts."
Ahem... W-Well huh.
The spacing are in fact... huh... Symbolizing the border separating our world from the one Gozer, an ancient summerian deity has been sealed to a long time ago! Yeah! It's that ahah!
>is totally not puking the plot of Ghostbusters
Crikey, that croc's seen better days. I better go fetch it before somethin' goes dodgy.
>Congratulations, you've caught yourself one (1) Australian!
HOW ARE YA GOING TO HOLD ANY KIND OF TITLE WITH SUCH A HUMILIATING DEFEAT LIKE THAT, WOLFMAN?
So... You guys were actually a RP group? Sounds like the plot of some tabletop RPG session if you ask me.
>She pats his back.
Were you the game master? It's pretty creative Roxas, you could make a solid game with a plot like that!
IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I DON'T BOOK THIS
...this is poisoned, isn't it?
Are you just...
Actually, you know what? I'll let you have that one. If you say it's like that, that's how it is.
>Spike, as expected, jumps up and snaps up the gem in his jaws, crunching the blue jewel down like it's a marshmallow.
>Luckily, Australians are horrible investments.
>Repo men return him to Australia.
IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT WATCHING WHERE YOU WERE GOING, YOU GIVE WRESTERS A BAD NAME WITH THAT EMBARASSING DEFEAT, BROTHER
>He snaps his fingers angerly, summoning a Samurai.
>Actually, he summons more than one
"Does it look like a game to you?"
Will ya 2 shut it and settle your feud with a arm wrestling contest or something?
Ahh, it managed to pierce even my armor, huh? That's some strength.. Well, either way, my money's on the fair lady.
Damn right it's like that! Now if you excuse me, I have an important conference to attend about this subject! byebye!
>She was too busy looking at her watch
Huh? You're saying?
S-Sorry Roxas but something came and I gotta go real quick, you'll show me next time! See ya!
Thanks for hosting Kamina
That will teach you to try to poison me with boxed lunches!
>Spike swallows the gem after savouring it for a while, looking up at the Anon.
Better? I wasn't ever feeling bad, Anon. I just couldn't sleep.
Take care, Fox-Dog-Cow-Person.
>Roxas watches her go, dismissing his Samurai with a wave of his hand.
"She doesn't get it, how can she, every time the Heartless try to show up here I destroy them before they hurt anyone..."
>He leans against the railing, clutching his head in his hands.
"Maybe I should just tell her to not dig into my past so much."
Thanks for hosting, Kamina.
Well, it works for knives, but I suppose bullets are a different story..
>Posthumous honors to Ruri, or something. Need to go now. Congrats, thanks for hosting.
>He lifts Spike onto his shoulders, letting him sit over the anon's neck.
Alright, let's head back to that library of yours. That lavender pony of yours sure seems nice, isn't she?
Thanks for staying until the end
I'm sorry where did you place? OH RIGHT YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE. Check mate.
THAT ISN'T A BAD IDEA
How shitty it is only makes it better, thanks for the hype package
O-Oh, this is a bit awkward. I don't live with Twilight anymore, Anon. You must be new around here. I've been doing my own thing for quite a while now.
Also, the library, y'know, blew up. She lives in a castle now.
Congratulations to Mr. Adachi, and thank you very much.
DON'T YOU FORGET THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE IF NOT FOR ME!
I'D WIN IT TOO EASILY!
My thanks for having us. N-Next time don't force me into that giant bird, alright?
OH SO YOU'RE SUCH A COWARD YOU WONT EVEN STEP INTO THE RING?
HEAR THAT EVERYONE HE'S A CHICKEN SHIT HEEL!
I WOULD MORE THAN GLADLY PUMMEL YOU TO THE GROUND INSIDE OF THE RING, BUT ONLY ONE OF US WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO GET IN, AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AT YOU GETTING YOUR BUTT KICKED!
WELL THE JOKE'S ON YOU. I KICKED MY OWN BUTT AND GOT MYSELF A PRIME TIME SPOT ON BOTCHAMANIA! HOW'S THAT FOR LAUGHING?
BAH GAWD, IT'S GONNA BE DECIDED! IT'S GONNA BE INCINEROAR AND BEOWULF FOR THE NEW HUNGER GAMES TITLE BELT! IT'S GONNA BE A SLOBBERKNOCKER, AND CHAOS IS GONNA RAIN DOWN ON THE SQUARED CIRCLE TONIGHT!
Yeah, things tend to change there a lot. But, hey, I don't know much about it anymore either. I've been gone for like two years now.
Speaking of gone, I have to make myself that. I have to do stuff, and sleep isn't going to try itself.
Thanks for the gem, Anon. You have yourself a nice day.
YOU KICKED YOUR OWN BUTT AND MADE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE A DISGRACE BY LOSING IN SUCH A HUMILIATING WAY, IT'S SO FUNNY THAT I CAN'T EVEN LAUGH AT IT!
BRING IT OOOOON BROTHER
Good question Anon! To answer it, while yes I can use my wand to create portals, I try to only do that in emergencies cause it can eat up a lot of my wand's juice! It's actually one of the few spells I bothered to memorize that wasn't combat related!
When I need to travel between dimensions, I rather use these babies!
>Star pulls out a pair of scissors.
Dimensional Scissors babyyyyy!
YOU HEARD IT RIGHT, FOLKS! IT'S A TWELVE ON TWELVE TAG TEAM MATCH! AND THE TEAM THAT WINS WILL CLAIM THE TITLE! IT'S GONNA BE LIVE, AND IT'S GONNA BE NEXT!
While you're at it switch Beowulf Cena with just Beowulf
What kinda cat would I be if I didn't support my fellow cat?
Tool, yes. The scissors can just cut a portal wherever you need one. No limitations as far as I've seen.
Focus, nope! A child could use them!
Although maybe that's why they're illegal in some dimensions.....