ITT: Pokemon Are Real. Universe 2. What does PAR think of trainers?

>>10915729
goo

>>10915729
ocean man

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>>10915650
"I can see that, they seem pretty active."
>She goes back behind the bar and looks at the two planks again.
"I still can't decide, these are both pretty, both expensive but not absurdly priced, the only difference is how dark they are and... smell, I guess?
>She rests her head on the bar, looking at Anna
"And then after this I have to decide layout, get the stockroom downstairs set up, figure out if I want to have a small brewery..."
>She groans, pinching the bridge of her nose
"It's a lot to think about, you know?"

zygaaarde

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>>10915729
Mine was good, until he passed away.

>>10915729
aaaa

>>10915761
Take me by the hand

im dead

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>>10915799
Well... That's unfortunate.
Do you wish to talk about it?

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>>10916000
He killed himself, and the note he left behind said it was because of his job. I don't believe that though, he loved his job.
>Eros looks up from his Dex, at the skyline of Castelia, his tails waving in a faint breeze.
Maybe I should have stayed in Kalos, now that I think about it.

>>10916049
Maybe you should look into why he did it?

im so tired

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>>10916049
... what was his job?

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>>10916118
Perhaps. But I don't know if I could bear going back, knowing I just left him hanging, that I couldn't control myself enough to think rationally and stay when he most likely needed me most.
I am ashamed to say that I ran to the other side of the world.

>>10916162
He was a scientist, he developed technology for trainers, he even helped make the holocaster!

muh

THEYRE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT TURN THE FRIGGIN FROGS GAY

>>10916381
can the bugs be gay

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>>10916381
... what?
>>10916176
Holocaster? Is that an Unovan thing?

>>10916405
>>10916421
HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THE BUGS HAVE BEEN DOING?
KIDS
DRESSING UP LIKE BUGS
AND SWORD FIGHTING OTHER BUGS!!!!!!!!!

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>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ezd24krgiQ in the distance

>very fastly

>swoosh

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>>10916484
I heard there were bugs and I cam running.
What's going on?

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>>10916592

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>>10916484
... did this bug wear two masks?
>>10916592
I believe there might be a bug religion forming.

>>10916592
THEY'RE GODDAMN EVERYWHERE
>>10916617
IT DID
AND IT WON AGAINST A GODDAMN LEGENDARY

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>>10916615
How do I delete other people's posts?
>>10916617
>>10916627
...Where do I sign up?

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>>10916627
There are bug legendaries?
>>10916653
I... Don't think you can? It's centered around a monarchy, I know that much.

>>10916653
DONT DO IT
>>10916700
I DONT KNOW IT WAS GODDAMN RED
JUST LOOK IT UP ON MEWTUBE
I NEED TO GO

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>>10916700
I'm joining. I guess it's time to actually get my ass out of the house for once.
>>10916706
...You call it that? Don't tell me you're one of the people that call Vine carniVine.

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>>10916706
...Mewtube sounds like a shitty rip-off of Youtube.
>>10916748
I met the bug guy in Unova, maybe try there.

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>>10916790
As long as it isn't anywhere near any fire types or any creeps I'll travel.

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>>10916828
About that... They seem to revere Larvesta, so that's at least one Fire Type you'll have to deal with.

>em comes back and immedatly startd talking about lewd
gotcha

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>>10916828
Can you explain this image, sir?

>>10916954
petition for em to be neutered

>>10916991
snip snip

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>>10916882
Oh well. I can deal with that.

>>10916974
Sometimes a guy needs to throw chicken out in the wilderness.
What's wrong with that?

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>>10917027
Outside of that... hmm.
I believe that the newer Team Plasma may still be running around. Would you consider them creeps?

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>>10916421
Kalosian, actually, it's a way for trainers to easily record and share battles through holograms, and generally communicate, in the latest update, it even offers suggestions to make your team better, moves, types of training, that sort of thing. My old trainer worked really hard to make sure it could interface with the Pokedex to get information on moves and stuff!

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>>10915729
Well as far as they go my new trainer is much better and nicer than my old one.

>>10917330
hi ricky

Hey PAR, do you know where I can get some illegal drungs?

>>10917377
the drugstore

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>>10917196
How do the suggestions work?
Such a thing seems subjective.
>>10917377
Is it really wise to ask such a thing on a forum frequently visited by the IP?
I doubt you yourself would be in risk of any trouble, but any dealers would be.

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>>10917411
It uses data collected from recorded battles, so the more videos it has to draw from, the better it develops it's suggestions, if someone fights a legendary Pokemon and records it, it will even start compiling data about them!
>This should probably set off alarm bells in the paranoid, given it's such obvious datamining.

>>10917377
God you're some kind of dumbass posting here. What are you wanting, dumbass?

>>10917410
>>10917411
no like..............
a marij

>>10917446
im in kanto
u got any
weedpot

>>10917467
yeah like i said
the drugstore

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>>10917437
... does it automatically record battles?

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>Serena comes home, having made a few decisions.
>Black Walnut for the furniture, no brewery or lounge downstairs, just more space for stocking alcohol and food.
>And the top floor is going to be her new home.
>She drums her fingers on the counter in the kitchen, looking around.
"All children leave the home eventually, even if their parents aren't there to kick them out..."

>>10917467
You can- Yeah, whatever, meet me on Route 10 if you're serious.

>>10917479
no

>>10917519
swag
>last two numbers in minutes there

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>>10917518
>Anna the Roomie: exist, player not narcoing anymore
>She sits back, not sure whether to comment.
>And then the Riolu hugs Serena's leg.

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>>10917595
>Riolu a cute

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>>10917518
>Ricky looks up from his phone
"Yo girl what's this about kicking somebody out?"

>>10917544
>Anon sighs, grabbing a seat on a rock and reading a mystery novel.

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>>10917595
"Hey, it's not a bad thing, I'm just moving."

>>10917717
>She pats the Riolu on the head, smiling.
"Thanks though."

>>10917730
"The plan is to move into the floors above the bar once renovation stuff is done, that's all."
>She takes a deep breath
"Left this place behind a few times already, figure I should stop coming back to bad memories."

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>>10917796
>Light is sleeping on some comfy cushioning
>Or rather, was
>The zapdoggo earperks when he hears the moving plans

>>10917789
>Fumehead anon arrives.
"Hey, are you here?"

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>>10917964
>The guy on the rock waves.
>He has a coffee sitting next to him and a regular trainer belt with three balls.
>He waves a bag full of green at the anon.
"You the guy?"

>>10918019
>Druggie guy is ecstatic.
>You're pretty sure this guy can't tell where he even is right now.
>He makes a grab for the bag.
"How much?"

>>10917870
What's the best part about lightning types?

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>>10918056
"77,092P."
>He shrugs, tossing his Solrock out and pulling the bag away.
"Don't touch the goods."

>>10918124
>Fumehead scum pulls out 50,000P.
"This is all I got, come on man."

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>>10917796
>He lets out a mock sigh of relief
"Oh good here I thought you finally came to your senses and were gonna throw me out hehe."

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>>10918151
>He shrugs, holding the bag away.
>Rolling to see if Solrock can disable fumehead's physical movement.
"I take credit cards, you have a credit card?"

>>10918188
>Fumehead ragdolls to the ground.
"Ah! Aaaah! What the fuck is with you? Why can't I move?"

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>>10917870
"You heard me, Light, we're gonna move in a week or so, once the renovation work is done."

>>10918159
>She starts drumming her fingers on the counter, shaking her head.
"I don't think throwing you put would be coming to my senses, especially since you're supposed to be my bartender soon. Speaking of which..."
>She pulls out her holocaster, calling Siebold.

>I think Anna's player narco'd again

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>>10918236
( Not narcoing, just had dinner stuff to check on. )
"You need waitresses or entertainers? I'd offer to be a bouncer, but that's more a 'bring in the bulky foreign guy with a killer Team' job..."
"Wait, do you still need a bouncer? I think I know somebody!"

>The Riolu goes back to running around like an overcaffeinated toddler.

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>>10918232
"I dunno, you tell me. You have a credit card or not?"
>He bends down and takes his wallet.
"Hold this for me, please. Keep it warm."
>He hands his coffee off to his Solrock, who heats it up.

>>10918313
>You get the wallet.
>Fumehead has: ID, a parole number, a credit card, two condoms and 50,000P.
"Yes! Take it and go!"

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>>10918236
>You do realize it's 1 am in Kalos right now?
>Siebold answers, but you're greeted with the sight of a groggy, freshly awoken Elite Four member
>His hair is a mess, night robe tied sloppily, and eyes still squinting and blinking away sleep
"What do you want?"
>He's not awake enough to clearly speak English yet, so the response is in Kalosian.

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>>10918350
>He swipes the money and the card and crouches to stare the guy in the face.
"Tsk tsk. I need the pin number before you can go."
>He smiles, the Solrock lowering down to match it's trainer's level.

>>10918429
>His card has about 100,000P on it at the least.
>He struggles against the psychic power.
"I'm not telling you, freak! You're more fucked than Rocket!"

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>>10918500
>Dubs.
>The psychic bullshittery falters, Fumehead can move his arms now.
"Maybe some coffee will jog your memory."
>He grabs the coffee cup, now up to about 180C.
>He smiles, and splashes some on the Fumehead's face.
"If you want to keep your eyes tell me the pin number."

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>>10918573
(I'm really enjoying how sadistic this reboot is. It makes the ookedestined and good characters seems more realistic.)

>>10918573
>Fumehead screeches in pain and covers his face.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
>>10918653
(Same.)

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>>10918653
(Thank. This character is basically an antag in action but good in motivation.)

>>10918712
"You want your fucking eyes or not?"
>Fumehead gets another splash of coffee while Solrock rolls to paralyze his arms again.

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>Tomorrow is the big move.
>Valjean's feeling pretty good about it.
>There's just one thing left to address, and it's not his trainer's dietary habits.
>Time to find a nerd.

>>10918780
>His hands go limp and he screeches in pain.
"YOU FUCKIN' PSYCHO! It's 1986! Leave me alone!"

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>>10918236
"Oh hey is that the Siebold guy you were gonna ask to train me?"
>>10918402
>Ricky waves at the tired frenchman
"Hey dude it looks like we woke you up."

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>>10918785
>Nerd is at his desk, reviewing the ongoings in Alola
>He seems rattled about something

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>>10918815
>He stands up, kicking the Fumehead's arms out of the way.
"You aren't lying, are you?"
>He splashes the coffee into his eyes this time.

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>>10918236
"R-rf?"
>He does not really understand why
>Frenchman hologram is go
"Bork!"
>He remembers something good

>>10918827
>pokespeak
"Yes!"

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>>10918867
>The sparklion quietly walks up and sits down next to Stib's chair.
>He quietly pokes at Frankie's 'dex, freshly dragged from out of his pocket.
"We need to talk."

>>10918891
>Screaming Fumehead noises.
"NO, NO! PLEASE!"

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>>10918299
"Probably going to need at least a few waitresses, yeah, but I don't think I'll need a bouncer..."

>>10918402
>The timezone thing kinda sucks when you keep forgetting about it and have been basing everything on your current time.
"Oh, sorry, forgot what time it was, I'll call you later!"
>Click
"...It's that late? Shit."

>>10918827
"Yeah, but uh, later."
>She pinches the bridge of her nose, tucking the holocaster away.
"I don't even know how I fucked my sleep schedule up so hard, and of course I'm not tired so I can't just go to bed..."

>>10918925
"Oh, right, I got this for you!"
>She pulls out a second Pokedex and tosses it to Light.
"There, no more having to ask me if you want to talk to me."
>She looks back around the kitchen, thinking.
"I honestly can't say if I'll miss this place, it got burnt out once, then I left to go hang out with that idiot for a while, so..."
>She bites her lip
"All the things I cared about here are kinda gone already, the rest is just stuff."

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>>10918958
>Gulp
"What do you know?"

>>10919011
dude. for fucks sake

>>10919011
>4 replies
this is out of hand

>>10919011
really

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>>10919011
"And here I thought I managed to get up at a decent time today..."
>He sighs and sips on some water
"Oh well hopefully he won't be mad when you call him at a better time to ask."

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>>10919000
>The loudest druggie.
"I get it. Shut the fuck up."
>The rest of the coffee is emptied into his mouth before he gets up and walks away, his Solrock following after.
"Come on. We have to get a credit card emptied."

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>>10919029
>tappatappatappa
"Enough to put the pieces together. Impressive work in Black City, by the way."
>Valjean stops pecking at the keys and raises his head.

>Get character idea.
>Not sure how to make them fit into the world without forcing something,

'sup, /par/.
World still got even odds of ending?
I'm just sitting here with a bunch of Eevees and a fifth of soju. So, how are you gonna spend the pre-apocalypse?

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>>10919011
>Catch the dex like a frisbee
>Place it in the ground, tap tap away
"thanks"
>Light is positively beaming, the text not conveying well his feelings

>>10919167
Gettin' fucked hopefully.

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>>10919164
Dew it.

>>10919167
sit in my house and write clickbait like normal
maybe finish off a few of those fics ive left on hiatus
sacrifice a virgin to giratina and ask him to destroy the meteor
idfk

>>10919167
Is that what everyone is on about...?
Perhaps I need to get out of my home more.

Could anyone tell me how to... Ah, appear less... Like myself if I go out?

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>>10919167
I'm going to enjoy the Kalosian countryside a little longer.
After that, I'm basically going to do what >>10919276 is suggesting, except with a dozen Gogoats, a bloody pentacle, and a female virgin sacrifice that's not to Giratina.

>>10919306
(fuck, autoupdate memed on me.)
Concealing clothing and makeup, ese. Its worked for me, it can work for you.

>>10919339
Awwwwwww I like my dress. Lame.
Alright, thank you, sir!

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>>10919134
>Incredibly nervous nerd
"...how..."
"...thanks but, absolutely nobody else must know"

>>10919322
oh shit
youre actually gonna do that shit?
i was making a fucking joke
now i gotta do it or ill feel like a wuss

alright guys how do i summon giratina

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>>10919377
>tappatappa
"Frankie suspects embezzlement. Rey suspects nothing. As for the secret, I can keep it, but know the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

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>>10919412
For ya get yourself a BUNCH a mirrors, like until you are having trouble storing them all. Then you lay those little shits out, facing up, in a field, make sure some of them are vertical, so that they can see the others. Then you get yourself the sacrifices, G-man isn't partial to what type, just the amount of blood. 12 gallons worth should do it. Make yourself a pentagram out of good ol-fashioned ground sableeye gems and sacrifices them begins real good. Works ever time, half the time.

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>>10919167
If lucky, my idea of 'blasting it away and psychic off the pieces reached the Unovan E4'.
If not, I have a spot reserved at Mount Lanakila.

>>10919421
"No embezzlement, it's one of my associates who deals with the economy."
>Heavy breathing
"I know, I know, have you seen any news coming from South Unova?"

>>10919553
fuck
well guys looks like im not summoning giratina
wish the other dude good luck
ill write him a fic or some shit if his summon works

PAR, Hoennfag here. How many tentacle pokemon can I have before my neighbor calls me weird?

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>>10919657
Can you brush it aside and say it's for your job or non?

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>>10919072
"So did I, what the fuck."
>She pulls some lemonade out of the fridge and an ice tray out of the freezer, pouring herself a glass.
"Yeah, I'll wait until morning."

>>10919170
>I just imagine everything Light taps out sounding like Windows Sam.
>It's amazing.
"You're welcome dude, have fun with it."

>>10919757
die

>>10919757
can you PLEASE go away

>>10919714
Considering I work at the aquarium, I guess.
My neighbor still gives me weird looks. Whatever, at least I'm not in Kanto.

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>>10919757
>not knowing about the Shift key does not help either
>Lemonade spotted
>tappety tap
"want please"

>>10919657
6
But no one like the mono-Tentacruel dude

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>>10919817
Consider adding a few non tentacled Pokemon to your collection, mon amie. It looks less like you want to take them up the ass that way.

>>10919865
I'm at four.

>>10919936
Rodger, I'll get on that after I get off work, I guess.

reblog this post if youd rather have 600P than a gender

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>>10920011
M E
T O O
T H A N K S

>>10920011
>reblogs
>retweets
>liked on isntagram
>subscribed on twitch
>became a patreon supporter

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>>10920011
Count me in.

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>>10919757
"Oh hey can you pour me a glass? Love me some lemonade."

>The screen of a news channel remains dark for a moment.
>Radio chatter can be heard beyond the black screen.
>It comes on to show a disheveled man in formal attire.
>He appears distraught, with reddened eyes and shaking hands.
>It takes him a moment to begin speaking.
>"Hello..."
>He sighs, looking down.
>"I'm sure everyone has heard about the incoming meteor. Well, there's no longer a fifty-fifty chance of impact. Various research facilities have confirmed that it will land, impacting the Hoenn area. Of course, chances of survival are nonexistent. Efforts are underway to possibly disrupt the path of the meteor, but we have no guarantees."
>The anchorman stands.
>"I know there's a chance, though. Everything here, out of it all, someone or something has to be able to help."
>The man walks off screen.
>"I pray to Arceus that something can be done about this."
>Click.

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>>10919825
>She nods, grabbing another glass and filling it up.
"Here"
>She slides it along the counter to Light, sipping her own.
"...Might break into the booze again, if I get drunk maybe I'll sleep at a more normal time."
>She starts fiddling with her bracelet, spinning the silver bangle on her wrist
"But I've also been trying to cut back on the alcohol, so... hmm..."

>>10920092
"Sure, here."
>Another glass is poured.
>And then she gets the news on her holocaster.

>>10920125
"...Well shit, after this I'm switching to the booze."

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>>10920125
Well, fuck.
Even if this doesn't work, it'll be a helluva party.
>Hoodie Man lets out three Pokemon in the Kalosian countryside - an Arcanine, an Alakazam, an a Gengar.
"You know what to do, amigos."
>Rolling for how long it takes to round up a dozen Gogoats for a wierdo half-remembered cult sacrifice.

>>10920125
"Fucks sake."
>Floyd clocks out early, grabs a drink and catches a boat down to Pacifidlog and then over to Sky Pillar.
>Last two numbers for that.

>>10920298
Rip

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>>10920125
"Ohmygods..."
>>10920203
"Umm... would you mind if I take a walk? I think my dad's in the Region, and I'd kinda like to see him again before, well, you know..."

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>>10920125
>meteor
>impact Hoenn
>not_again.jpg
AWAKEN MY RUBY

>>10920341
ruby machine broke

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>>10920075
Just on an off-chance, mighty one, how much is a willing sacrifice worth to you?
I suspect that more than one would be required to make it worth your while to address the current source of the panic, but I might as well ask.

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>>10920203
>Ricky sips on the lemonade as he mulls over the news
"Well that doesn't sound good, why hasn't Rayquaza done anything about it like he did the one before? I think I'll join in on the booze after this as well..."

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>>10920125
"..."
>Put up a message to the Unovan E4 about the situation
>Again

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>>10920125
Damn. Looks like I'll have to hurry up.
>Let's see if Morty can find an adult virgin
>Preferably one willing to come back to his gym

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>>10920125
>so I guess this world is ending
>welp.. that sucks
>time to bounce

>>10920504
(Hell, give me a minute and I can give you a character,)

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>>10920203
>lap lap
"nice"
>something coming out of Serena's holocaster
>>10920125
>Light seems like he is on the verge of tears

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>>10920331
"Yeah, no problem, I'd suggest staying safe but really if I'm wrong and everyone decides to play chicken with a falling rock there's no safe at all."
>She waves goodbye to the girl.

>>10920482
"I think the legendaries are playing a game of chicken to see who deals with the meteor, that's what it feels like anyways."
>She downs the rest of her glass in a few gulps, drumming her fingers on the counter rapidly.
"If they don't do anything... I don't wanna die just sitting here, you know?"

>>10920555
"Hey, hey, don't cry Light, there's a lot of Pokemon that can do something, at least one of them will decide to act... I hope."

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>>10920504
>Virgin found.
>You spot a guy cursing in front of one of the houses.
>He throws his suitcase at the front door, cursing out the people inside, before storming away.

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>>10919556
>Pat the nerd.
"No news from South Unova, but the current emergency would have buried it anyway."
"I assume you did some work there?"

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lemme smash

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>>10920487
>You get a reply from Caitlin
>'Dear concerned citizen..'
>'I realize there are concerns over the meteor. Gathering every Psychic Pokemon and Psychic user within the Unovan military - as well as any volunteers - into one location is a lengthy process.'
>'That being said, we did start this process over a week ago. We should be ready to give this strategy our first try at 15:00 EST on Wednesday.'
>'Pray to your deity of choice that this succeeds.'

>>10920633
>33
>And Caitlin promptly passes out on her keyboard moments after sending the message.
>Looks like she's not answering anymore questions tonight, kids

>>10920631
no
go find mercury

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>>10920608
>Well, isn't this guy just a completely non suspicious bundle of joy
>I don't think Morty has a strong enough nose to sniff out virginity from a distance, so....
>Powers of bullshit: activate
>Morty attempts to wave the man down
"Hello~! I got roped into doing League surveys, care to help me out and answer a few?"

>>10920125
(When is it landing?)

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>>10920125
>BANG!
"WHAT
THE
FUCK?!"
>The screaming can be attributed to the arrival of a rather pissed off women in red-tinted black attire and a white cape, both damaged from years of constant use.
I THOUGHT WE WHERE DONE WITH THIS SHIT AFTER THE FIRST TOME OLD MAN! NOW YOU'RE TELLIBG ME YOU MISSED ANOTHER ONE? WHAT GIVES?

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>>10920659
swiggity swooty?

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>>10920633
>"The missiles, what about the missiles, the other leagues..?"

>>10920646
>Not like the nerd knows

>>10920620
"Emergency or not, the lack of news there is good"
"Yes, that is exactly were I went there earlier today, testing the units..."
>He seems a bit distraught
"...no one died, barely any escapees, that day care had it together."

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>>10920718
>He grabs the suitcase off the doorstep, cursing loudly at the door and kicking it before Morty catches his attention.
>The eyeroll is audible as he walks over to him.
"Whatever, I don't have a goddamn house and I don't want insurance."

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>>10920739
>Snug the nerd
"Are you worried that the units err or the side of violence?"
"Tell me, old friend. Please."

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>>10920125
>A strange doll watches the report on a TV in an electronics store
>It cocks it's head to the side, processing what it's hearing
>Whirrrrrrrr
>click click click
>The doll walks away from the TV, looking up at the sky

>>10920721
>Reports show a variety of dates regarding the impact.
>The current average is Saturday, estimated to hit late at night.
>It's all still in the air, really.

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>>10920782
>I should hope it's not in the air yet
>that would be bad

>>10920737
no ron
i dont want sum fuk

>>10920777
(Hey can you not have a legendary do this, please? Trying to leave it for the human players unless it comes down to the wire.)

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>>10920782
>UB portal in over the meteor
>Kick it towards earth
>Repeat until it will land in one hour

>>10920777
>implying Magernia is high enough on the leggo tier list to even dent a meteor

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>>10920555
"Don't worry little dude I'm sure somebody will do something about it."
>>10920600
>Ricky gulps down the rest of the lemonade and starts rummaging around the pantry for the booze of the evening
"Well there's a few days left so I'm sure you'll think of something to do if nobody takes care of it."

>>10920822
>they got dubs
>welp
>whose up for U3?

>>10920816
>>10920837
(It's not going to do anything, it's just curious what's going on)

>>10920816
>>10920837
( I checked with Magearna's player, they're not doing anything re: meteor except wwondering what the fuck's happening )

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>>10920813
fuk u ben

>>10920858
no

>>10920822
>bug go splat

>>10920822
>The meteor will now arrive Saturday, at dusk.
>It appears that it cannot be accelerated any further.
>The Pheromosa has not accomplished much in their efforts, despite fortune falling in their favor, only removing two hours from the remaining time of the planet.
>There is still a chance for them.

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>>10920756
>An awkward chuckle leaves Morty, the man smiling and adjusting his scarf
"No, they aren't like that. Erika, actually, asked me to do these so... Please don't hit me if they're rather crude."
>He fiddles with his phone, pulling up the note app on the screen
"So... First one: Are you a virgin?"

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>>10920125
oh god
that is the just horrible
>alex is really worried and hugs their pancham a bit worried, sukeban, the pamchan on the other hand isn't worried at all, she's just happy like usual, quetzal, on the other hand is worried to, or at least it looks like that but since he didn't evolve yet, he still is a bit nervous since he is this close to evolving

>>10920940
>nah bitch meteor lands tonight and stops wasting everyone's time

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>Hoodie man and his team have gathered up enough Gogoats.

Anybody up for an old-fashioned cult feast? I'm by Kalos Route 5, ready for one hell of a time.
We've got booze, but more is always welcome.

>Time to text a specific guest of honor, and then pull out his knife.

>>10920991
(birbshitposter pls go)

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>>10920991

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>>10920946
>The rage elemental raises an eyebrow, looking away and looking slightly disgusted.
>He hesitates slightly before he answers.
"Yes. Hurry up or I'm hitting you."

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>>10920759
>The nerd nods
"...and consequent fallout)
"Anyways, I have a third test planned"

EVERYONE I HAVE HAD A THOUGHT

what if the moon is in the way when the meteor gets here?

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>>10921012
>Morty plays up a nervous chuckle
"I'm sorry, I'm pretty certain she was stoned when she wrote these."
>He clears his throat and continues
"Question two... Are you a liar?"

>>10921037
Billions would still die, possibly everyone depends on how large the meteor is, and how it impacts the moon.

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>>10921118
>He drops his suitcase on the ground, adjusting his scarf.
"Not unless it's my family."
>His default scowl strengthens.
"Fuck those assholes."

>>10921152
shit.
they said it was the size of kanto or sommat and i thinking like dead on collision.
that might be enough to like, dust both.

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>>10921000
>Trips.
>The Gogoats don't resist much, saplike blood spilling in a great circle as the hoodie-wearing man begins to chant.
>The guest of honor should arrive, hopefully, and there might even be a few Kalosian locals on the way.
"I call upon thee... hear thy worshippers' cry in this, our time of tribulation. Accept our offerings, and show mercy upon us, the unworthy, in your infinite power..."

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>Anna walks down a well-worn path, holding her Riolu's hand, when she hears a buzzing.
>She looks at the source, and picks up the pace.
"If anything scary happens, run home to Miss Serena, okay?"

>>10921208
Look at is this way, you have a whole week to look up why, disputed the asteroid being far to small to pose any threat to the moon, it will still kill us all. Also, are you sure a continent sized body was classified as extinction on impact? Because I have some strong words for the author of that publication if that is really the case.

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>>10921233
>Dubsfail - Hoodie Cultist sees something that disrupts in rhythm and concentration. If this works, whoever he's summoning isn't going to be in a good mood.
>>10921278
". . . "
>He silently cries as he waves the girl on the Route over.

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>>10921169
"Shitty families always suck."
>An insistent tapping sound begins as Morty types away at his screen. Mr. Virgin wouldn't be able to see it, but the gym leader is sending a text to Lance asking him to fetch the zip ties from the bottom left drawer.
>Were you paying attention you would notice Morty's shadow shift a bit, something hopping over from the necromancer's to yours.
"Just two more question. First one... Are you religious?"

>>10921347
i know nothing about space i just heard what the space guy said when it was discovered, and that's what he said.

>A voice calls out from the shadows...
"Grraaaaaaaaaaaape sodaaaaaaaaaaaa."

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>>10920846
>Light curls up close to Serena

>>10920846
>All curled up and barely watching the outside world
>pokespeak
"Bring me some please"

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>>10921475
>He shrugs, running his hand through his hair.
"Not really. I don't waste my time with that crap."

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>>10920846
"A few days... they made it sound like it was tonight!"
>She groans, resting her head on the counter.
"Even so, I should probably get a bucket list going, check at least a few things off of it."
>She pulls out her Dex, writing out the list there and murmuring to herself as she does it.
"Visit mom one last time... spend a night at the top of the Lumiose gym... do one last sky battle... get laid..."

>>10921511
>She stops as Light tries to climb onto the stool.
"We're moving to the couch now, I think we a long hug after hearing that shit."
>She gets up, moving the zaprabbit with her with some effort, grunting as she scoops him up and brings him to the couch, and then grabbing some blankets
>She sits in the middle, for once, letting Light have her usual corner.

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>>10921475
>"Remember I wasn't here if this goes badly."
>Lance grabs the zip ties and gets his dragons ready if need be.

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>>10921448
"This looks... really familiar."
>Anna walks into the clearing, and the Riolu runs back to town.
>Rolling to see if she notices what she just walked into.

>>10921762
>Evens. You get to avoid being blindsided by things.
>Both Anna and Hoodie Cultist are standing inside the circle, and that's not a safe place to be if this actually works.

>>10921762
>Riolu can sense emotions, and, to a lesser extent, intentions
>Hoodie-dude should be a bright fluorescent red
>Doggo is prob a panik

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>>10921762
>The hood-wearing weirdo sobs a bit, pulls out his knife.
>He cuts his own arm and finishes his chanting, stepping into the center of the circle.
"... Palkia, I beg you... witness, and accept this sacrifice."

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>>10921623
>Light has a different idea
>The thunderbork takes his rightful position, burrowing in the blankets and curling up again in Serena's lap

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>>10921623
>He's nodding as she rambles off her bucket list and on the last item a smile creeps on his face
"Get laid huh? Just so happens I'm running a end of the world special on the ricky-go-round."

>>10921899
( Fuck, replychain memed. )
( Yeah, hoodie dude is expecting at least one of them to die, probably including himself, and that's if things go smoothly. Doggo is open to play, but is prob a panic seeing that. )

>>10921941
(Are you trying to kill Anna off?)

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>>10921902
>A grating sound can be heard, an irritating mix between cloth tearing, nails on chalkboard, and a record scratch.
>It is this awful noise that accompanies a tear in space forming before you, a large, pink arm emerging from the opening. The limb claws and tears at the center of the circle as the creature in question pulls itself the rest of the way out to reveal the god of space itself.
'Hail, men.
Hail, woman.
And ye, mortals,
who sit before me.'
>Its voice is neither the resounding, booming sound of movies nor the soft, feminine tone of recent fantasy. Rather, it rests more on the masculine scale, but possesses the light, irritating tone one would expect of a jester or something similar.
'Thou asks of me not for company well kept,
But for a favor,
Do you not?'

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>>10921977
( That depends entirely on how this goes, but if it's her or him, he's taking the fall. )
>>10921987
>Hoodie-man kneels.
"Y-Yes, but only in direst need, and not just for o-ourselves."
>He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

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>>10921653
>"Where do you wanna be, Mt. Silver?
>>10921539
"I see.... Last question..."
>Morty's Haunter rises partially out of the shadow, latching onto the rage elemental's leg
"Did you know that Shadow Sneak can be used for quick travel?"
>Haunter attempts to drag them both back to Ecruteak Gym
>This can be a roll if you would prefer?

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>>10921929
>She wraps an arm around him, nervously tapping her foot now that her hands are rather occupied.
"Thanks... Ricky, you need a hu-"

>>10921931
>The tapping reaches record pace
"Ricky-go-round!?"
>Her voice squeaks out, her face glowing cherry red.

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>>10921902
>Anna's about to say something, but before she can muster the words...
>>10921987
>The student gasps, awestruck.
>This is a sight she never thought she'd see, in life or after it.
>Rolling to see if she can respond to things this turn?

>>10922054
>quick reminder that Palkia doesn't need earth, or care about it that much
>yer gonna have to give it a reason to want to help

>>10922054
(Not trying to be rude but with how PAR is I don't expect anyone to die.)

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>>10922091
>"That works. I hope you didn't pick someone with a gun."

>>10922141
>Riolu either gets a steadfast boost
>or is Le Prankster
>Obvs not Inner Focus cuz he jus flinched.exe

>>10922152
( Hoodie dude here, he's basically putting everything he has on the table. Which isn't much, even including himself and his team. )
>>10922159
( It seems unlikely, but it's not impossible. I'm tempting fate and/or the person playing Palkia here. )

>>10922159
(Someone is new here)
>>10922200
>you can't offer a fair trade to Palkia, you have nothing it wants
>you need to reason with the god
>convince it that the earth as a whole is more good to it extant

>Meanwhile, back in Lumiose...
>A suited man wanders the empty streets, news of doom in the mind
>Aimlessly, with no future for him and now anyone else

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>>10922108
>Ricky plops on a couch
"Oh yeah a free chance to take my pole for a spin or two"

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>>10922255
(Shot down by the dice)

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>>10922091
>Haha, suffer.
"I've never used that garbage."
>1
>The leg is grabbed but edgemaster is edgy enough to count as a dark type.
>Shadow Sneak manages to drag him partially into the ground before he grabs onto his suitcase for leverage.
"What the fuck?!"
>If looks could kill Morty would have died in every timeline just now.

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>>10922108
>Snugging
>Best place to be in the face of bad news
>Light pokes his head out, just in time to notice Serena blushing

>>10922255
>Pokespeak
"Your what?"

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>>10922228
>Hoodiedude is steadied.
"Mighty Palkia... a meteor threatens to wipe away this planet. Your shrine at Spear Pillar, your worshippers... there will be nothing but the... the monotony of the shrapnel. No more mortals here to toy with, to prank, or to punish."
"No more prayers in your name to savor. I offer myself, in life and in death, for your amusement as well... for what little that is worth... I ask that the meteor be sent somewhere other than Earth, so that your merriment may continue unabated."
>Cultist Hoodieman closes his eyes, wondering if this is it.
(OOC, if this is it, I'm OK with that. Might be the first PC death of /par/.)

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>>10922255
>She gulps, trying to un-fluster herself
>Tappa-tappa-tappa-tappa-tap
>She takes a deep breath.
"I'm interested... um, only if you're sure though!"

>>10922348
>She rubs the zaprabbit's ears with her free hand.

>>10922391
( you replied to the wrong person you double nigger )

>>10922408
seriously
if you guys fuck in here i wont stop shitposting ever
just remember that

>>10922459
how about if they fuck period
he cant keep getting away with everything

>>10922459
>Implying 4chan is even decent for ERP

>>10922459
Mad you can't spy on him anymore?

>>10922459
T H I S
T H I S
T H I S
T H I S
H
I
S

>>10922578
(pls dont piss hb off)

>>10922578
He mad

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>>10922391
>Tfw I'm Palkia now...
>Lol guess I did kinda play this off like I mattered
>you don't mean me Hoodie bro, let the real goddo handle this
>Faux-Palkia out!

>>10922578
what that he and borb are talking
nah

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>>10922391
>The guy you responded to wasn't me but w/e
'Thou art but a single soul,
a simple feat it would be,
to steal one such away'
>The god turns away, its focus directed to the Gogoat corpses left before it. It tears into them with the ease of something from a horror movie, the jaws disconnecting and pulling at the fruit like flesh of the Pokemon.
>Much like a therapod from a film, it pins the corpse with a hind limb, the forelimbs shoveling meat and bone into its mouth with no care for the mess it makes.
>You can hear the snapping and crunching of bones even as it resumes speaking.
'To offer yourself is simple,
to end only yourself,
and face not the consequences.
But how would thou fair,
if instead i required
not only that fair youth,
mind uncorrupted,
but also things held most dear,
to those uninvolved?'

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>>10922619
(i don't even post here anymore. plz refrain from dragging the birb into stuff)

>>10922619
>He can see my DMs
Got you, fucko, your bullshit is over soon.

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>>10922343
>He blinks several times in surprise before giving off an irritated huff.
"You ruined what would have been a dramatic moment. Shame on you."
>The click of a Pokeballs precedes a flash of light, Morty's Gengar peering from behind his legs at the victim
"Like I said, quick transport. Take your hands off the suitcase before I have Gengar break them."
>>10922182
>"No but he's got a suitcase and is resisting"

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>>10922664
>If you listen closely, you can hear Hoodie Man's heart breaking.
"I can steal away anything, I've got enough practice at that..."
>He sobs.
"I-I can't offer her, I can't bring myself..."
"T-that's something mi mija would have to do herself."

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>>10922872
>"Should have gotten him drunk."

>>10922141
>so senpai, you'r turn again
>yer souls on the table in exange for earth
>wat do
>>10922928
>oh nice char dev
>oh wait, the dev is literally turning down an offer from Palkia
>wtf hoodie bro

>>10922974
>( notice the words "mi mija". Hoodie bro's implying that she's his daughter, and that she'd have to grab the knife and do it herself. )

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>>10922872
>2.
>Dav- I mean Dante is having flashbacks, you're going to break this angry boy.
>He lets go of it and sinks into the shadow.

>>10923007
>No hablo éspanol
>thought it was his "mija" as in a pet name or a beloved, sorta right
>I'm not saying I don't approve of this new direction, just kinda miffed that he might call off the whole saving the world thing just because it would not include those he loves.

>>10923097
(People are not perfect rational beings)

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>>10922664
>Anna quakes in place, hearing this offer and questioning for a split second if the next thing she'll feel besides the spray of Gogoat blood will be an Orrean knife in her back...
>>10922928
"D-Daddy...?"
>Anna glances over at the sobbing wreck o a man, still rooted to the spot - and put on the spot.
>She looks at the knife still in his hand - the glimmer in her eyes gives away her inner conflict.

>>10923097
>( Pretty much this: >>10923114. Hoodie Man's primary motivation in life is right there in the circle with him. )

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>>10922408
"Hehe I'll see about getting you a ticket then."

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>>10922974
>>10923097
(Go look at Palkia's wording again. He's proposing a "what if this were the requirement instead?" to hoodieman offering himself as a sacrifice.)
(He's testing hoodieman's commitment to this plan, not saying he'll save the world if he kills his daughter.)
(I'll probably ease up a bit on ye old poetic speech a bit to make him easier to understand.)
>>10922928
>>10923159
>You've shown a trickster your weakness, a move widely regarded as unwise.
'Thou wouldst turn down an offer,
which may decide the fate of all?
Doth thy child mean more than all the others?'
>Palkia leans towards the girl, his maw open in what can only be assumed to be the closest equivalent to a grin he can manage
>The smell is sickly sweet, the sap like gore of the Gogoat's coating the entire lower jaw
'Shall I decide for ye?
A game I could make of this,
a sport to decide
whether thy offers are worth
precious time of mine"

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>>10923071
>Haunter snatches the suitcase, bringing it with them
>They touch down in Morty's basement, the gym leader brushing off his clothes and returning the phone to his pocket
>If necessary I can go snatch the description again if you haven't read it before, but for now I'll just say "a cultist clearly owns this room".
"That could have gone better. Make yourself comfortable, I haven't gotten everything set up yet."
>>10922965
"Lance, are you helping out with this or...?"

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>>10923583
>Anna takes a deep breath, the sickly smell filling her head.
>She thinks fast, trying to figure out how she can get out of this, if she even can.
"D-Dying's easy... What I'm t-thinking of won't be."
>She grabs the hoodie-wearer's knife from his hand, and brings it up to her eye level with the business end facing herself.
"S-Sorry, Dad. I'll do it, if t-that's what it takes."

>>10923846
>Theta watches from afar.
>'Tracker's leading here."
>Look at the dragon.
>'That's a big motherfucker.'
>Stay hidden.

>>10923939
dont step into something private dude
for fucks sake

>>10923939
(Yeah, uh, you should really stay out of that so Palkia doesn't aggro and everyone dies.)

I want to lewd a rotom

>>10923979
>>10924015
this ffs
please

>>10924015
>>10923979
>>10924039
( Disregard the associated post. )

>>10923583
"I-I never said I couldn't bear it, I just can't hold the knife m-myself..."
>Hoodieman shudders, unable to make himself look up.
>>10923846
>Confusion creeps into his gravelly voice.
"A-Anna, mija, w-what are you doing?"

- Hoodieman, out of images.
>>10923939
( Lemme ask Palkia's player if Theta can come to this shindig. OOC, I don't mind him witnessing this as long as he doesn't gatecrash the party. )

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>>10923347
>More pokespeak
"Ticket? Uh? I want to see this"

>>10924058
(I'm not any of those anons, you can do what you want but, uh, crashing it might result in a TPK or Palkia's player not wanting to do it because of 400 characters..)

>>10924064
( I had no intention of Theta interfering. I simply desired a reason for the character to know about certain phenomena regarding spacetime. )

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iiiiiiiiiiiim gay

Question for any Psychics here - when do psych abilities usually manifest in humans, if they have them?

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>>10923347
"Thanks for the invite, when's the date?"
>She tried to keep a straight face, but her body has other ideas, and she licks her lips without noticing.
>The foot-tapping slows as she tries to calm down.

>>10924071
"What was that, Light?"
>She rubs his chest, ruffling the fur between her fingers
"I wish I could understand you without a Dex, it would make it so much easier."

(EAT MY ENTIRE ASSHOLE HB, YOUR SPY SHENANIGANS ARE NO MORE!)

>>10924271
Usually near birth or soon into childhood.

>>10924321
inb4 he posts your shit

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>>10924321
>tap tap tap
"curiosity"
>Fur ruffling feels great, if somewhat charged up with static
>And Light is slowly charging up more

AAAA

whats happening are we dumping

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????????????????

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>>10924321
>Ricky smiles at her and gets up off the couch
"Whenever you want it is fine with me and it seems Light's curious about it as well."
>>10924345
plsno

Hey PAR, what happens if I touch my weenie to a doggo

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>>10924452
"You want in on this? I'm fine with it, I'm just surprised."
>She continues to pet him, not sure what to think.

>>10924661
"How about now?"
>She's trying to play it cool even now, but her eyes betray her, glancing down to his crotch.

>Fade to Black

>>10924702
You go to hell

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(Sorry, I got busy IRL. OOC I don't care if Theta lurks, and IC Palkia isn't going to give a shit unless Theta starts bugging him.)
>>10924064
'Thou wouldst prefer a stranger kill his own?
to be the last seen with a dying breath?'
>It's hard to see from a distance, but with how close you two are to the god you can see distinct, gill like slits on his neck, flaring with each hoarse breath.
>>10923846
'A sense thou would give?
To hinder and hurt thyself?
Interesting'
>The last world is drawn out, a hiss and a cackle finishing the sentence. It's a harsh sound, Palkia's laugh, a cross between the bark of a seal and the scrape of metal on metal.
>A dissonance is created between what you hear and what registers in your mind - Palkia's telepathy creates a normal, albeit irritating laugh in the minds of all around, yet the sound you hear couldn't be more different.
'Bring me each of the senses,
a different person each,
and the life of yet another,
then thy world I shall rescue'

>>10924749
>>Fade to Black
did
you ddint even let hi m say yes or no
did serena rape him

>>10924783
(I assume everyone involved will be making a last post before the fade)

>>10924783
Prostitutes choose to be raped and they can rape anyone they want

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>>10924661
>>10924749
>Slightly blushing, if that were possible through fur
>Tapping on the dex
"yes yes"

(Fade to black)