ITT: Pokemon Are Real. Universe 2. What does PAR think of alcohol?

>>10866982
dank

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>>10866982
It keeps me sane in the long term.
>Sipppppppp

>>10866904
"Oh."
>Laugh.
"It's a dog."
>Eyes widen.
"A really big dog."
>Take a knee next to the two.
"You okay there, Gene?"

>>10866982
me

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>>10866982
Alcohol is nothing but a problem starter.. and I love it.

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>>10866976
(sorry nxt time i promise)

>>10866995
nio you dont

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>>10866982
It's pretty fuckin' rad pardon my language
>>10866812
"White wine? Not my favorite but if its helping your bar selection out..."
>Ricky pours a small amount in a glass and takes a sip
"Bit dry but has a pretty good flavor."

>>10867081
(Shoutouts to Ricky for the top tier FCs)

shrewb

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>>10866982
It's dumb.

>>10866833
I don't believe you.
Well fine! Be that way! No super cool rare pokemon for you then.
It totally is, and that's totally a bucket on your head. A fancy bucket. And a hat.

>>10867081
shout out to ricky for being bones

>>10866982
O C E A N
M A N

>>10867139
(what makes you think hes bones)

>>10867169
macgi

>>10867181
(wat)

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>>10867076
Alright Steven
That KO'd Pokemon on my Conference team... What is it?

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>>10866982
I have been drinking it more than the usual recently.
It goes well mixed with coffee.
>Sip

>>10866813
If you die can I have your Metagross?

>>10866833
>>10867134
Speaking of hats I need reccomendations, I have been told that I behave like an evil team admin.

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>>10866982
It's alright, I guess.

Now, I think I found someone in Kalos with a Riolu egg.
I'll have to do some convincing, and dig deep into my savings, but I've got my fingers crossed!

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>>10867256
lugia

>>10867267
its a lugia
i can mail you one

>>10867267
Teams need a good hat.. perhaps porygon themed?

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>>10867081
"That about sums up my opinion on all of them, I don't think I have the taste for complex wine stuff, but I'll serve it."
>She downs the rest of the bourbon, and brightens.
"Oh yeah, I got some flavored vodka too!"
>She leaves the couch and comes back with a bottle.
"This is supposed to taste like cake!"
>She giggles to herself, sitting down with the bottle and pouring a glass.

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>>10867045
>Still being lapped up
>The dog's enthusiasm being almost too much
"I'm fine here, just, trying to remember things"

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>>10867280
No Steven it's not...
Ugh.
Your office door is locked again.

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>>10866982
Alcohol, like other intoxicants, has a tendency to turn otherwise normal humans into giggling Spinda-steppers, Mime-silent statues, sobbing wrecks, or engines of pain-numb destruction.
The trick is knowing which human becomes what when pumped full of liquor.

>>10867267
>tappatappatappa
"Come now, we had a perfectly valid reason to do what we did. It just happened to bite us in the ass."

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>>10866982
An awful substance.

>>10867134
I do not care what you believe.
Very well.
It is very clearly not a bucket, it is a mask.

>>10867267
If you behaved like an evil team admin you might actually be useful for something.

>>10867081
>walk into bar
>succ ricky off

>>10867417
DARKED

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>>10867081
>Watching the bottles go around
>He wants more

>>10867366
>Sniffing the bottle
>tapping on the dex
"can I have some"

>>10867417
DARKED.

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>>10867384
ha
no gays allowed
wa8ut fuck holdf on
>you can hear the window being openwed
?>rolling for if steve can even get out the goddamn window

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>>10867267
Top hats and twirly moustaches!

>>10867411
You're not very good at lying.
It's not a mask either! It's a helmet thingy.
Which means it's a bucket.
For your brains!

>>10867470
plz

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>>10867280
Yes.

>>10867291
Maybe.
Something something duck bills.

>>10867396
>Thinking hard
"Jean what was this about an Espurr?"
>Rememebring something
"...wait, shit."

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>>10867366
"Cake? That's a weird flavor for alcohol."
>He pours out half a shot and knocks it back then a smile forms on his face before he pours himself some more
"That's pretty dang tasty. What will they think of next?"
>>10867439
>Pour a shot for the zapdoggo
"Here you go buddy."

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>>10866982
What's alcohol?

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>>10867439
"Yeah, it actually tastes pretty good!"
>She pours herself a second glass and a new one for Light


>>10867517
"It's because it's Vodka, it's got no real flavor of it's own so it's easy to add stuff."
>Sipp
"So, why did you decide to stick around, other than my magic couch?"

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>>10867470
I'm not even gay you dumbass, I'm a pansexual.
I can hear you trying to escape, get your ass back in here before you hurt yourself.

>>10867367
"You able to recall anything?"
>Pat dog on head.
"Is this dog helping at all?"
>Stand, look around.
>Look at sigil.
>'This didn't really help me all that much.'
>'Still stuck here.'

>>10867517
>keep lickin that ricky dick
>gotta get that delicious rusefox nut
>faceincrotch.jpg

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>>10867510
>tappatappatappa
"Wait, shit? But I'm housetrained, friend."
>Valjean puts on the closest thing he can manage to a smirk, but clearly has something on his mind.

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>>10867510
okay
im gonna mail alains nipples too

>>10867557
mp pains either
help my tie is caught in thw winsdow

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>>10867554
"You're an interesting girl that has a good taste in alcohol.
I suppose a better question is why haven't you kicked me out yet heh"

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>>10867559
"For sure, this is my other team member"
>Finally managing to get unstuck from under the doggo
"Also that I had made a note on the other"
>PLAY
>"Beartic..."
>SKIP
>"...rescued in a raid from a nebulous crime syndicate..."
>STOP

>>10867606
meme harder you have a steven to beat

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>>10867517
>>10867554
>Happy borking
>Lapping up the alcopop, both glasses
"Weee..."
>tapping on the dex
>"this is nice"

>>10867678
NOT THIS MEME

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>>10867631
Just take off your tie, Steven.
I can't help you until the door is unlocked.
Unless you want me to break down your door.
>>10867678
(No one caaaaaares.)

>>10867645
"Ah, like the weird ice-bear."
>Hear note.
"Oh. Wow. So you rescued this dog?"
>Hold out hand, intending to pull Gene up.
"That's pretty cool. But, well, does that give us any other leads?"

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>>10867471
Enough, I cannot stand your idiocy any longer.
Soon you will regret mocking me.

>they think its fizz
this shit writes itself

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>>10867724
ic anjt take my tie off
how will i look like a businesman

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>>10867759
You're somehow more irrational and ridiculous-looking than Ghetsis.
In some ways that's an impressive accomplishment.

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>>10867759
Well why don't you sit down then?
I don't think I will, it's pretty fun.

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>>10867411
I might just get therapy instead.

>>10867631
...okay

>>10867626
"I'm trying to remember things here Jean, I know you know more"
"There were bad news right before I got crushed by a Metagross, there were not?"

>>10867634
>keep on that good, thicc dicc
>never let go, like a starvin leech
ey ricky my boy can you sit down
its hard to keep my mouth on your cock with you movin around like this
>also its hard to talk with a mouthful of this salty zoroark dick

>>10867698
boy that aint me
im just a man with an oral fixation
dont wanna harm anyone, just wanna suck em all

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>>10867634
"If I knew I would tell you, I blame the fact that I wanted a drinking buddy."
>Sipp

>>10867693
"Yeah, I'll have to get more of this, it's cheap stuff."

>My wishes and my actions thankfully don't line up, story comes before lewds I'm just being a slut in discord right now

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>>10867742
"No, the dog was..."
"Uh..."
"I think he was International Police since the start"
"I doubt there are any more leads, from on here, I don't know the path"

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>>10867840
"Based on what Rey's remembered, I'd say so."
>Sparklion is poking at the 'dex and looking up at Stibs any time his eyes aren't on his message.

>>10867762
>thanks duder
>glad I could help

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>>10867808
Steven? Were you planning on wearing your tie during mud wrestling?
>Well.... Steven didn't give any sort of answer to whether or not he wanted his door kept intact so...
>Alain checks the hinges of the door to make sure it opens away from him. Having confirmed this, he drives his heel into the side of the door next to the lock.
>Rollin' to kick open a mf door

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>>10867887
(Don't sweat it dude)
>Gulp that delicious cake flavored nectar
"Well a drinking buddy you've got then."

>>10867906
"Ah. Shit."
>Sigh.
"So... what now, then?"
>Look up.
"I don't think we should split just yet, but I've got my own thing going, someone I need to find."
>Shrug.
"But you're probably gonna still need help around here."
>Feel conflicted.
>'I don't know how the temporal situation links up, so time spent here might be time wasted, time not there to defend them.'
"Fucking hell. I need to sit down."
>'This... where are they?'
>'Descry isn't working. Dispel won't work any further on my memories.'
"What's your plan now? Now that you've got the dog?"

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>>10867956
>u did it
>steven is there with his tie hooked into the edge of the window
"i mean its not like you can stip m,e"

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>>10867887
>tap tap
"ppppplease"
>Zapdoggo is clearly buzzed

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>>10868078
"I can't what, Steven? Say it clearer, maybe we can bet on it."
>Alain spends a few moments figuring out how he's going to do this, eventually deciding to brace one arm against the window, grab the tie in the other hand, and pull
>Rollin?

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>>10867759
I already regret the time lost.

>>10867907
"Well, damn. Remind me to take it very slowly if I get a Beldum"
>Sipping coffee
"It's funny, I was not expecting to hear that alias ever again. Maybe that is why I locked up back then."
"I didn't expect any of the things I most wanted in the dreams to materialize"

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>>10868054
"I kinda wanted to try to settle down but, it would be only fair to help you out now"

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>>10868333
>tappa tappa tap
"Nor did I, old friend."
>Flop.

>>10867981
just sweat in my mouth, man
how the shit havent you come yet
>keep lickin
>ill get his sweet nectar someday
at least you smell good
a little smoky though
am i doing it wrong
i think im doing it wrong
shit

Hey PAR? What do you do whe you accidentally set the snow on fire?

>>10868614
Depends.. where how and when? Also how big a fire and what type?

>>10868636
Um, by Snowbelle.
i don't know, I was training my Magmortar and- Oh god its going toward the town I have to go
>Rolling for how badly anon fucks this

>>10868389
"I think that'd be for the best, you settling down."
>Pat Gene on shoulder.
"I don't want to drag you into anything. And, well, I've got to head back at some point."
>Hold out other hand.
"So, well, I'll be seeing you."

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>>10868755
>Dubfail
>Everything is more on fire
PAR HELP
PAR HELP
HELP

>>10868755
Alright, my advice.. withdraw the magnorter, and head to lumiose city.. wait this shit out... do NOT attempt to aid in fire management, leave this to the professionals.

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>>10868333
>Choke on coffee
"Gah"

>>10868523
>Kneeling close to the floplion
"I'm really starting to think something really crazy happened in somewhere that dream, given that mismatch."
"And that both you and Rey have still many secrets to tell. Curse my lack of memory, intentional or not."

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>>10868799
QU'EST-CE QUE TU AS FAIT?

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>>10868786
>Shake hand
"Where will you head back?"
"Personally I don't even know where to settle down"

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>>10867981
>I return
"Two drinking buddies, if Light keeps this up."
>Sippp

>>10868176
"Here, have some more."
>Another glass for the zapdoggo

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>>10868807
IM TRYING TO PUT IT OUT
>>10868834
I DONT KNOW THE TOWN IS BURNING
I JUST WANTED TO TRY TO TRAIN LIKE I DID IN MY DREAM
AAAAAAAAA
>ROLL TO HELP

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snowbelle citizen here
why is half the town in flames

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>>10868906
AAAAAAAAA
Just wait, I shall be there momentarily
>Rolling for travel time, last number times five
>>10868931
There was a minor fuck up, please go and hide under the snow for now

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>>10868931
MY FUCKING HOUSE UIS ON FIRE
WHAT THE FUCK

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>>10868931
>>10868976
GO HIDE
>>10868973
IM SORRY
>ROLL TO HELP
>He's not going to be able to put it out unless he rolls a goddamn quad success.

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>>10868883
"Yeah he's a good little drinker for a newbie."

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>>10868976
Call the firefighters, don't try to save anything material...

>>10869038
Don't do it, you might get yourself killed

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>>10868809
"That dream was a mosaic of crazy, Stibs."
"As for secrets, I'm only telling what I'm sure of - and Frankie is one of those sureties."

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>>10869038
>>10869089
This is the worst goddamn day of my life.

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>>10868883
>tappity
"thannnk"
>Lap up the liquor, greedily
>Definitely drunk now

>>10869068
"Yeeeeeee"

>>10868866
"Home. Not from here, remember?"
>Let go.
"I'm sure you've got your own place in this world. Me, well, I don't exactly belong here."
>Laugh.
>Raise branded hand.
"This should be the indicator of that fact. But there was a reason I was sent here, one that I don't exactly recall."
>Start walking away.
"It's been fun, but I really should be off."
>Leave the center.
"See you, Gene."

>'Well, helped him, but I'm no closer to home than when I started.
>Sigh.
>'I need info, and a fucking drink.'

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>>10869068
"He doesn't have the tolerance yet though, gonna need to train him up to that."
>Sipppppppp

>>10869118
"You want more?"

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>>10869115
Just run into the woods, that's what I did when everything went fuckways.

I swear to god jiji has to reign em in every 15 seconds

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>>10869115
Sorry, m8.

>>10869102
"Sureties need to be assembled, and often you need to get the remaining pieces from other people"

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>>10868976
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
WHAT DO I DO
I KNOW THATS NOT MY TOWN BUT ITS ON FIRE

>>10869299
REMAIN CALM, EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL. SEIBOLD WILL CONTAIN THE SITUATION.

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>>10869038
>>10869115
"Step aside and watch."
>Blastoise is out
"Mega Evolution works wonders, non?"
>Blastoise has Mega Evolved, let's see what wonders these cannons can work
>Evens the fire is gonezo, odds it'll take one more post to put it out completely

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>>10869244
Noooo, fuck.
>>10869292
I hate my life.
>>10869299
Chill.
>>10869321
"...That wasn't very impressive."

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>Rolling to burn down Snowbelle regardless

>>10869321
>>10869349
I'm sorry!
>Not-Bomberanon: Flee.

>>10869068
>slurp on that delicious cock
>oh yeah, gotta lick those balls
>gonna run my tongue in between your legs, in them little crevices
hey man, your furs pretty soft down here
you use some sort of conditioner

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>>10869292
>Nodding sparklion pushes the 'dex aside and curls up next to the nerd.
"Mrowww."

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>>10869162
>Nodding drunkenly
>He doesn't seem to know when to stop
>dex tapping attempts
"ysssye"

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>>10869349
"An entire town is on fire. I would like to see you do better, la puce."
>Fire should be completely out by now.
>Unless Siebold gets dubsfail, in which case I guess we're dealing with an oil fire
>>10869377
>Dubsfail
>It gets put out before it can really start.
>>10869380
>Siebold starts flinging angry Kalosian curses when he catches not-bomberanon attempting to flee
"Chervil! Stop him!"
>The turtle turns to face the runner, aiming his cannons at anon's legs.
>He's intentionally holding back, so there won't be any broken limbs if it hits
>Rolling?

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>>10869380
"I- uh..."

>>10869494
"Thanks."
>Berg: Go look to see if anything is recoverable in your house.

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>>10869162
>Finish glass and pour another
>Sipp
"Gonna be a while before he's at our level though."

>all serenas fucking group is about is alcohol
AMAZING CHARACTER

>>10869651
rite?

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>>10869349
So do most everyone in Snowbelle with that attitude.

>>10869421
>Ruffle that mane
"In due time, I guess"
>Nerd: keep thinking
>"Am I even in the right path with my assumptions?"

>>10869631
oh right
i forgot
im a ghost
cant please people anymore
damn
im sorry for the failure
I had fun tho

>>10869651
>No one cared when she visited her mom's grave
>Get replies when she drinks

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>>10869137
"See you some day, Theta"
"And if not, I'll assume you found your way home"
"Good luck"
>Gene: stay at the pokecenter
>Get the team in recovery from their extended ball time
>Tomorrow: find place in this world

>>10869662
memes
>>10869805
wasnt on then
rip mom
F

[ Theta has exited the party. ]

>'Where's a good bar around here?'
>Sigh.
>Walk around streets.
>'People talk, and I need information.'
>Laugh to self.
>'An amnesiac isn't going to help me there.'
>Wonder if the strange cultist is still around.
>Shrug, then continue walking.
>Pull visor down.
>Despite crack, it still functions.

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>>10869734
>Very happy spark lion.
>"I wonder if Seb really trusts me? I wouldn't blame him if he doesn't, given my conduct."

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Everyone.

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>>10870016
You got locked in the bathroom again?

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>>10870049
I was going to call you cute. It doesn't work when you answer.

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>>10869908
>There's a girl holding a large egg in a basket, leaning against a wall.
>She looks over at the man in the body armor.
"Nice outfit."
( OOC, are you cool with this character dropping in on Theta in Lumiose? If not, just say so or ignore this post )

>>10870150
( It is fine. I have parted ways with the other. )

>Look at young woman.
"It works. Not much else to say."
>Shrug.
>Notice egg, which is larger than many that he has seen.
"What the hell are you doing with an egg that big, anyways? Gonna raise an ostrich or something?"

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>>10870087
Whoops.
Just call me cute when I get back, I guess.
Is the door unlocked?

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>>10870249
Should I get smashed and end up stuck out the window too?
Yes, it's unlocked.

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>>10870226
>You get a confused look from the girl.
"It's a Riolu egg! The anticipation's just killing me, even though it's only a few days."
>She raises an eyebrow.
"So, uh, what's with the combat gear? Plasma doesn't work out here, Flare doesn't 'do' armor for fashion reasons, and police don't wear riot gear off-duty."

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>>10870260
I won't be able to pull you back in if you get stuck in the window, but get smashed all you want.
I'll be back in... 10 minutes?

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>>10869480
"...Last one."
>She refills his glass

>>10869631
"Yeah. Say, are you going to be awake tomorrow morning? I was thinking of doing a day trip to Lumiose, picnic, shopping, that sort of stuff"

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>>10870390
...I'm not that fat.
Alright. Which gym were we on?

>>10870353
"Riolu. Right."
>Do not understand.
"Also, right, the gear."
>Gesture to self.
"I'm from... overseas. Sort of. Here to find someone breaking the law and... stop them."
>Attempt to protect perceived innocence of woman.
"I also don't have any other clothes with me at the moment."
>Scratch head.
>Theta's crimson brand is visible, and glowing with a slight, red hue.

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>>10870408
And I'm not that strong.
Blue and Surge, who are we visiting next?

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>>10870399
"Oh I'm sure if you shake me hard enough I'll wake up."

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>>10870453
Oh god the annoying ones. Surge I guess since he's probably locked inside.

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>>10869930
>Ear scritches are given
>Murmur things to himself
>Things about testings some things, and other things that need to open

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>>10870437
>odds
>The girl sighs.
"I believe the no other clothes part, but there's no way you're IP or Unova SPAT. I know how to spot cops and gangsters, and you're... neither. Huh."
>Thinking
>Pic related lands on her shoulder.

>>10870562
"I don't work for anyone you know of, I can guarantee that."
>Sigh.
>Start walking.
"If you want to hear about it, get in line and wait for the retrograde amnesia to fade."
>Notice weird bat-thing.
"Also... you've got something on your shoulder."
>Do not care in the slightest anymore.
>Weird creatures are everywhere in this world.

( I may not respond beyond this point. I am required to do something. )

Hi, /par/~.
Does anyone else know the new little Breeder's place that opened up right near Vermillion City?
The owner wouldn't even let me buy one of his Eevees! He said something about some video on the Internet and his dead body and threw me out.
Has Surge investigated that ruffian yet?

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>>10870655
I've been busy with paperwork but I can get it I guess. Stay away until someone has said it's fine to go to.
>This jelly is useful.
>Time to investigate?

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>>10870540
I don't think Blue is even at his gym at moment. Maybe just sneak in?
>The hotel room door opens with a thud.
"Chéri je suis rentré."
>It's said in a sing song falsetto, Alain's own way of trying to be funny.

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>>10870399
>Roll to not accidentally knock out the glass, drunkenly

>>10870520
"I can waaake you maaybbe"

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>>10870640
( It's cool. If there's no response this evening I'll assume Anna and Theta went their separate ways. )
"Aww, this is Cirrus, my Noibat."
>She pats the happy bat.
"Retrograde amnesia? Yikes. That's not good at all. Anyway, I'm willing to help you out, if you'd like. I know about local politics, local Pokemon, rumors, you name it."
>She gives him a scrap of paper with a phone number on it.

>>10870682
>There's a nondescript building on the edge of Vermillion City. Two Eevees are peeking out a first-floor window.
>How would you like to proceed?

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>>10870739
>Tobias waves from the bed, he's laying on his back while wearing his extra cloak.
>A SNES is set up with Super Mario Kart.
>Tobias shakes an extra controller Alain's direction.
"You want to play?"

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>>10870831
>Kira is a cop, so no sneaky shit presently.
>Knock on the door and hope someone answers.

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>>10870520
>Serena shifts, drumming her fingers on the couch
"Just shaking, that's easier than some of my team."
>She sets her glass aside, smirking slightly
"Or did you have a different kind of shaking in mind?"
>Her eyes flicker away, like she's reconsidering her words
"Anyways, I never got around to asking, why did you show up last week? I know why you're staying, but why just... give me a hug like that?"

>>10870788
>He managed not to knock over the glass, and actually looked sober for a second!
"Do electric Pokemon metabolise faster? Maybe he's a better drinker than we thought."
>She puts the cap back on the bottle regardless.
"Still, I said that was the last one for you, and I think I'm done tonight, so unless Ricky still wants to drink, I'll go put this away."
>She stretches in her seat, swinging her legs out and arms over her head, then starts to get up.

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>>10870788
"Oh yeah and how will you wake me up little dude?"

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>>10870852
>A slightly drunk man answers the door.
>He recognizes you as a cop, and you can see the bottom drop out of his stomach.
"G-Good evenin'..."
>(OOC, I'm pretty sure it was the guy with the Naruto faceclaim who almost wrecked this guy the first time, rather than Kira faceclaim )

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>>10870832
"Sure. Watching you lose is fun."
>Alain snatches the controller, taking a seat next to Tobias on the bed
"Are we making bets this time?"

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>>10870915
>Kira puts on his best Investigator Smile™
"Hello, sir. I'm with the International Police and I've heard a rumor that something strange may be going on. Do you have any comments?"
>(If this is who I think it is you'd be correct.)

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>>10870788
>Dubs spoke, glass is ready for the lapping
>And lapping it is what Light does

>>10870867
>A small whine of disappointment can be heard as the bottle was out back into place

>>10870870
"Like thisss!"
>Hair straightens up, electricity coursing through Light's body

>>10870959
"N-no... jus' come in, and do what'cha gotta do, Offi- *hic* -cer."
>Twitchy twitches, and steps out of the doorway. He's wearing the face on a man who's just been sentenced to death.

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>>10870988
>Rubber Gloves: Equipped.
>Doorframe: Tapped twice.
>Kira steps inside, watching the man.
"You don't need to be so high strong, would you mind explaining the rumors?"

>>10870811
"Thanks."
>Take slip of paper.
>Look at bat.
"Cute. Also, thanks. I'll give you a ring after I go rest somewhere. Been a rough day."
>Theta waves before heading to the nearest hotel to sleep and recover.

( Theta will keep in contact. I apologize for the inconvenience. )

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>>10870957
>Tobias chuckles, sitting up straight.
"I never lose. Mmm... Loser buys the winner drinks? Or a kiss?"

>>10871011
>Twitchy shudders.
"I dunno wha' rumors, boss, but I'm a Breeder, so..."
>He keeps twitching.
"Fuck, I hoped I'd at least go out comfy with this world endin' shit, you feel me?"
"So, you're gonna have me give ya the tour before you book me?"

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>>10870867
>thx autoupdate
>Ricky returns her smirk
"Not that kind of shaking though I'm not against it."
>>10870980
>He holds his paws up to try and stop the doggo from giving a full shocking example
"Okay okay I hope it doesn't come to that though."

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>>10871060
>Kira squints, shrugging.
"Sure. Please lead if you will. Mister...?"

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>>10871035
"You never lose? I'll make you eat those words, one way or another."
>He shoots Tobias a rare grin, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his legs
"Why not both?"

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>>10870980
"I'd rather not have you pass out on me, Light. You can have more after you sleep it off."
>She down the rest of her own glass, and pulls herself off the couch, twisting her back both ways with a series of satisfying "pops"

>>10871072
>Her rosy cheeks get a lot redder.
"Right, uh, I'm gonna, go put this away."
>She grabs the half-empty bottle by the neck and leaves the room as quickly as she thinks she can pull off while still looking natural.
>When she comes back a moment later, she seems more calm.
"You dodged my question, I noticed, why'd you hug me that first day?"

>>10871084
"Zhu, Tommy Zhu."
>He hiccups, and grabs his keys off a hook by the door.
"Righ' this way."
>He opens a door, and leads you to a large room with fake grass flooring, and a few wooden structures built out of plywood and 2x4s. A dozen carrying-size cages sit empty in a corner, with towels lining the bottom.
>A couple curious Eevees look over at the pair as they enter.
"So... this is it, officer."
>He swallows hard.

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>>10871146
>The doorframe gets two taps.
"Thank you Mr. Zhu."
>Kira whips out a notepad, taking notes.
"It's, uh... Kinda low quality but it seems alright. What are you worried about, exactly?"
>Kira takes a careful step toward one of the Eevees to see if anything's horribly wrong with it.

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>>10871124
>Tobias chuckles, picking Bowser.
>He's one of Those people.
"Both is good. Ready to loose, nerd?"

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>>10871072
"Okaaay!"
>Light stops the light show
>Odd dubs and he shocks Ricky accidentally

>>10871137
>Light headtilts, not really understanding the gravity of the problem of too much liquor

>>10871187
>Three of the Eevees hop forward, curiously sniffing at Kira. They look to be in good health.
>Despite the rough-built nature of the nesting boxes and climbables, the place is clean and relatively spacious.
"I know I'm screwed, just... wait a sec... 'alright'? I, -hic' thought I was going to jail like my cousin did just for havin' this place."
>Mr. Zhu sits down on the faux-grass floor, looking a little dizzy.

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>>10871137
"Well you seemed like you needed a hug but I guess you wanted more but passed out before we could discuss it."
>>10871246
>He sighs in relief
"I'm sure you're strong enough you could knock me out in one shock dude."

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>>10871273
>Note: Eevees are in good health, potential checkup needed.
>He pets one turning back to Mr. Zhu.
"Mmm... Mr. Zhu. You don't have any plans to pull anything like this again, do you? Illegal breeding operations?"

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>>10871215
>Ah fuck, I know literally nothing about this game
>Alain would probably pick Yoshi, if for no other reason than the fact that it slightly resembles a deformed Charizard if you squint really hard
"Shouldn't you be asking yourself that?"
>I suppose we roll three times, whoever gets most evens wins?
>Assuming no cheating of course
>And knowin Tobias there's probably gonna be cheating

>>10871326
>Mr. Zhu hiccups.
"I... I got off easy back in Hoenn. I did so much fucked up shit for my cousin, only got probation, waited out that clock... so, when he died, I wanted to get back in business, but with this 'world-might-end' shit..."
>He sobs a bit.
"I-I got thinking, you feel me? About what I'd done. I feel like shit for it, I know I should be in a cell right now for it, even though the judge in Hoenn jus' slapped my wrist."
>He's rambling.
"How do I go legit, Officer?"

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>>10871404
>This is going to be a shitshow, a fun one at least.
"I never lose!"
>Tobias gives Alain a poke, focusing on the game.
>Fiiiiiiirst roll.

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>>10871486
"You have talent, Mr. Zhu. I mean, this setup isn't great but they aren't dying or anything. I'm not exactly a rearing expert but..."
>Kira stands up, turning back to him.
"I can recommend you to a pokemon care place somewhere. Unova, Johto, Kalos you name it. It'll be somewhere new and somewhere you can start new."
>Kira looks back to the Eevees.
"And... I'll put in my report that this was just a setup by some teenagers that ran into the forest when I checked it out. Does that sound alright?"

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>>10871491
"You never lose? Does this apply to your virginity as well?"
>For now he focuses solely on the game, but I wouldn't put it past Alain to try and distract Tobias
>First roll for Alain

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>>10871570
"Well, I've lost that a few times before. Have you lost yours?"
>Tobias gives Alain a wink, putting one of his hands on Alain's thigh.
>Second roll, rip Tobias is gonna lose this still somehow.

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>>10871246
"If you drink too much at once it's like a Seviper bit you."

>>10871287
"...I do want more, but uh, I don't want to rush things."
>She turns away as she sits back down, drumming her hand on the couch again almost immediately.
"I mean uh, I want to know the person well first, and not just be a random fuck, as hot as that sounds right now..."
>She shakes her head, trying to clear it of the latest fantasy
"Anyways, I mean, you could give me more if uh, you stuck around?"
>She winces, drumming her fingers faster
"God I sound like I want to just use you, I meant uh, give each other more, make you a real member of the team?"

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>>10871548
>Zhu breaks into tears.
"T-Thank you, Officer, thank you so much. I'll get cleaned up, I promise. I-I understand if you gotta take these fluffballs into custody, j-just... if you do, make sure they get taken care of, alright?"
>He manages a smile, and pets one of the Eevees.

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>>10871634
>Kira nods.
"Yes, yes, you can leave when you're read. I'll put down..."
>He drops a regular red and white pokeball on the floor, kicking it softly toward Mr. Zhu and the Eevee.
"Two...? I thought there was a third one? Did you see it?"

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>>10871613
"I'm Kalosian."
>It's a statement, as if that were all the explanation needed on the subject of Alain's sex life, and to a degree it is.
>So this is how it's going to be played?
>Alain counters teasing with teasing, reaching a hand back to slide along the small of Tobias' back, resting on the skin right above his pants line.
>How these fuckers are playing SMK with only one hand is a mystery to me, but here goes that second roll

>>10871687
"The third one slipped behind the climbing structure there."
>Tommy Zhu goes over and gently picks up the Eevee.
"Here we go..."
>A thought occurs to him.
"Did the report get called in by a twenty-something woman? If so, I got a video you need to see. I refused to sell to her, and the video, uh, explains why."

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>>10871719
>Tobias shivers, holding back any lewd noises.
"How Kalosian?"
>Tobias drops subtlety, going for the buttons on Alain's pants.
>Third roll up, Tobias is probably going to need an even and Alain to get an odd to win.

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>>10871767
>Kira nods.
"There it is."
>A note is made in his notebook before he stare up at the ceiling.
"That would be her. Care to show me, sir?"

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>>10871621
>Ricky crosses one leg over the other
"Girl nothing wrong with wanting to take things slow, Arceus knows I've had my fair share of meaningless humps but are you saying you'd rather something of a relationship or am I reading too much into the give each other more part.?"

>>10871829
>Mr. Zhu nods, drunkenly pulling it up on his phone.
"Yeah, this lady's team was... I'd swear my dead cousin had gotten his hands on 'em. This video from Surge's just sealed it for me, you feel me?"

>Security camera footage from the Gym.
>It's a very familiar video.
>Idiot lady has a Sandshrew use Rollout before a Gym member's even sent out a Pokemon.
>Cue the forcible restraint, swearing, and confusion of ambiguous genuineness.

"So... yeah. That lady was a -hic- thing in here."

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>>10871805
"Wouldn't you like to know."
>Are you trying to distract Alain?
>Because you're doing a good job - his breath hitches and he glances down for a split second
"That's not going to help you win."
>Two can play the game of distractions...
>Alain slides his hand beneath the waistband of Tobias' pants, tracing the curve of his spine and palming his ass
>0 and 2 get counted as odds for this roll, seeing as Alain is pretty distracted right now

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>>10871901
>Kira nods, taking some notes down.
"I'll file that down... What do you know, we've got something interesting on our hands. Do you have anything else for me, Mr. Zhu or should we part ways?"

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>>10871621
>Light winces
>An earlier memory of being an Eevee still in training, being precisely bitten by a Seviper
>The poison making him feel the worst he ever was
>Wide eyed, silent stare

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>>10871918
>Have you ever heard the sound of a surprised Sinnohian?
>Tobias sounds like a scared rabbit as he lets out a squeak and Alain passes the finish line.
>Tobias flops into Alain's lap, his hands over his face.
"Fuck."

>>10871935
"Y-yeah, I got a camera at the front door to back up m' story about 'er. Lemme pull it over..."
>He reaches behind a plastic potted plant and hands over a cheap camera.
"I hope th' next time we meet, I'll be -hic- fully legit, Officer. Thanksh."

( OOC, the post reporting Mr. Zhu had some telltale typing tics, and I confirmed via Discord with that antag's player that it was her. )

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>>10871892
"You got it just fine."
>The drumming continues, playing out a beat to a song in her head
"I think I should uh, try and get some sleep, before I start saying dumb shit again"
>She gets up, still tapping against her thigh.

>>10871964
"Yeah, figured you'd remember, that's why we restrain ourselves."

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>>10871980
>Kira nods, taking the camera.
"Thank you, sir. I'll be waiting."
>He pulls his phone out, calling up a crew but lolligagging on the location enough to let him get away.

(Gotcha, I figured it was you know who and Kira is suspicious IC sooooo, I'm a real detective man, woo. Thanks, Anon, this was fun.)

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>>10871971
>He tries and fails to resist the urge to laugh.
"I told you I'd make you eat those words."
>With his free hand Alain toys with Tobias' hair, combing through the locks and twirling them on his fingers

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>>10872067
"Ass."
>Tobias is still wearing the scarf and cloak combo, while Alain is wearing the cloak, right?
>Tobias pulls on the collar, pulling Alain down into a kiss.

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>>10871995
"Alright then should be fun to try."
>He finishes the rest of his drink with a quick gulp and stands up and stretches before extending his arms towards the girl
"Now c'mere, give us a bedtime hug"

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>>10872093
>Alain had a retort ready and everything, cut off before it can even leave his mouth
>Yes, that's Alain's current choice in fashion.
>He tugs on Tobias' hair, forcing his head back and into a more favorable angle for a rough kiss
>Meanwhile, the other hand continues groping, feeling along the curve of Tobias' ass and drumming his fingers lightly

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>>10871995
>A few nods and barks of agreement

>>10872220
>Watching the happening unfold

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>>10872251
>Tobias chuckles, pulling away and kissing Alain's jaw and working down his neck as he rubs a hand against his crotch.
>There's a stifled moan as Tobias finally pulls back.
"We should get some sleep, mon cher. Battles to be done in the morning~."

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>>10872300
>He's not exactly vocal in the bedroom, but you still manage to pull a grunt and a gasp from Alain
>Alain has never had to wait for sex before, this is new to him - he can't help but let a bit of that frustration and disappointment seep into his voice
"Sleep, right. Don't forget, you're buying drinks."
>And with that Alain works on getting comfortable underneath the blankets, shedding just enough layers of clothing to keep from dying of a heat stroke

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>>10874392
>>10874578
oh shit What is this?

>>10874392
nice

i
want
more
weird
fcs

give
me
bugs
n
shit

>>10875355
(I'm probably going to pick something up from Hollow Knight, maybe establish a weird bug cult or something. Sooooooo, look for that I guess.)

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>Serena wakes up in her bed for once, bolting upright from another nightmare, unsure when she fell asleep
>The last thing she remembers is Ricky asking for a hug, and then...
>She looks around, somehow both relieved and disappointed that the Zoroark isn't in bed with her.
>Her stomach grumbles, and she pulls herself out of bed, going down to the kitchen to make breakfast.
>While she digs through the fridge, she starts making a mental shopping list
>She did say she was going on a day trip to Lumiose today, after all.

>>10875405
>bug cult
Hype. I can hear Slash jizzing from here.

>>10875537
>throw character youre probably going to ignore in favor of fox cock at

>>10875621
>probably
(Definitely, you mean.)

>>10875621
(I'm trying to improve, so I'd at least try interacting with them... unless it's Ash, in which case there will be bottles thrown.)

>>10875621
>>10875634
Hey, instead of shitposting tell him why you don't like what he's doing.
>Hey stop thirsting after the fox cock i really doubt their player even wants to fuck you considering its probably Bones and I don't think Bones is gonna cuck Jiji.

>>10875649
(I've actually spoken to Lights player, and he claims that Ricky is both not Bones and interested in this, otherwise he would have stopped, I can't verify that for myself, but I'm willing to take their word on it and even then I'm trying to dial the lust back, at least in thread where it's actually detrimental.)

>>10875681
(Lemme guess SB and Bork or something? SB is an easy guess. Whatever have fun. I'm probably just going to post my characters later and fuck off.)

god this thread is fucking despicable

>>10875716
were worse than hg

>>10875699
(I'm sorry to hear that, whoever you are, please don't just give up, I know I'm trying to work on not being a cancer on the thread and there probably hasn't been much progress, but I at least feel there's improvement when we actually talk about our issues and try to sort them out.)
(Speaking of which, I promised not to make Serena a main character if I could help it, so I'm gonna shift over to Kat, if no one with an I.P agent shows up soon I'll just go through that solo so she can get out of the hospital.)

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>Kat wakes up in the hospital bed for the second time, looking around with wild ferveor as she soon recognizes her surroundings as the hallucination she believes she's under.
>She strains against the straps that bind her to the bed, arms taut with the futile effort.
"HEY JELLYBITCH, CAN YOU AT LEAST MAKE IT FUCKING INTERESTING, IM SICK OF BEING TIED UP, IF YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING SIT ON MY HEAD DO IT ALREADY!"

>>10875805
(This is gonna be a few hours from now but I can have someone bug her later. Heh, bug.)

>>10875822
(That sounds fine, just be aware she's gonna be incredibly hostile while she still believes she's trapped in Ultra Space)

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>A Sneasel wanders the plains between Orre and Unova, cloaking himself in ice that slowly melts away, forcing him to refresh it or start feeling the hated sun bearing down upon him.
>His longer ear twitches with every rustle of grass around him.
>He digs his claws into his palms, gritting his teeth as he marches.
"Stupid fucking robot stopping me from getting stronger..."

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>Eros awakens somewhere in Kalos
>The people he's met seem to only stick around for a day or an hour before vanishing
>He picks himself up out of the grass where he collapsed last night, and presses on, no real direction in mind, simply aiming to get as far away from his trainer's old home as possible.

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>rocket waifu flies around bored and without nothing to do
i am so bored

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>>10875537
>it's not morning but it's not midnight either
>Ricky wakes up with a yawn and gets up off the couch to stretch and get something to eat, hopefully finding leftovers of Serena's fine breakfast

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>Somewhere in Kalos, having roughed it just out of view of the road, Anna gets up and starts hiking in a direction she's pretty sure is towards Serena's - or at least towards civilization and coffee.

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>>10875805
>Kat has been struggling for an hour now
>She's getting nowhere, but if she doesn't try, she won't be able to die in peace.
"WHY AM I HERE!? JUST TO SUFFER!? LET ME SEE THE REAL WORLD YOU BITCH!"

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>>10875949
>The Snea is out of ice
>The heat bears down upon him, and he continues to trudge, shoving tall grass aside
>He has no idea where he is, but he knows Orre is on the same continent
>He'll reach it before he dies of starvation, if he's lucky.

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>>10876749
>He's found the coast now, and sits on the beach, watching the waves.
"Why did you leave me behind..."
>He looks down at his Trainer's old Dex, holding it tight in his paws.

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>>10876935
>She's kept it simple again, just toast and orange juice.
"Oh hey, you actually woke up on your own."
>She wipes her mouth with a paper towel and pushes away from the table, getting up to throw it away.
"Bread is in the fridge if you want to make your own.".

>>10877083
[Snea]
+icy breath that shit

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>>10877108
>A man in a hoodie stumbles over to a nearby rock, also watching the waves. He turns for a moment towards the Meowstic and nods silently.

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>>10877170
"Yeah apparently all I had to do was not drink anymore after you went to bed and I could manage to get up at a decent time of day"
>He opens the fridge door and reaches in to pull out the bread and eggs, if there were any, to make a bit more wholesome breakfast
"Still managed to oversleep by a few hours though so sorry about that."

>intro new character
>get ignored
what do wrong

>>10877206
(Git your memes outta here I can't fucking update when Kazcode is preventing it)

>>10877291
(Point them out dude, sometimes shit happens and a post gets lost)

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>>10877291
(I just woke up, but you can throw them at me instead if you want?)

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>>10877108
What did ya do?

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>>10877232
>The Meowstic looks at the man, wondering what his story is.
>It doesn't matter in the long run, of course, unless he has a boat, but he might as well ask.
>Rolling to set up a telepathic connection with hoodie man.

>>10877362
>AAAA reply chain memes
>Are you talking to Eros in person or through the dex?

>>10877398
>through the dex
>typhlosion is in johto/kanto

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>>10877368
>Success.
>The man chuckles, and speaks in a gravelly foreign accent.
"You got talent, ese. I've known Alakazams tha don't set up telepathy as smooth. Anyway... I'm just an old man out here looking to make peace with things. Figured I'd go somewhere beautiful, see my kid again, settle some lingering regrets."

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>>10877269
"That simple huh?"
>She grabs her glass off the table, finishing off the orange juice and rinsing the cup out in the sink as she talks.
"I actually just woke up like an hour ago myself, so you're fine."
>She sets the cup to dry, and goes through the fridge herself, pulling out a sausage and some cheeses, some eggs, and then going to the pantry for crackers
"So, you still up for the trip to Lumiose?'

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>>10877362
>>10877413
Nothing, my trainer hung himself and broke my ball before he did it.

>>10877453
'Thank you for the compliment. I'm just looking to get away from here, do you know where a Pokemon could find a boat setting sail today?'

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>>10877455
>Ricky bites a hole out of two slices of bread and toasts them in a pan while cooking an egg inside the holes
"Heck yeah I am. Do I need to disguise for our little trip or are you fine being seen with a slightly hungover Zoroark?"

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>>10877508
>The man grins beneath the hoodie.
"I've been in the business long enough to know that, ese. Look for the Eastern Star in Cyllage, the Transoceanic 418 in Coumarine, or KIC freighter 8 out in Shalour. I know the guys who run those, tell 'em Olivar the Orrean's calling in a favor."
>He pulls out a flask and takes a swig.
"I'd offer to come with, but I got some, uh, unfinished business inland. Old problem to deal with."
>Rolling to see if he can prevent the nature of the 'old problem' from drifting to the surface of his thoughts.

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>>10877628
'Cyllage? That's... north of here, I think. Thank you, Olivar.'
>The Meowstic gets up, floating his bag behind him and tucking the Pokedex he carries into it.
'I don't know how I'll pay you back for this, but I will.'

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>>10877681
"Don't worry about it, amigo. Just drop a line if you make it, alright Good luck."
>Olivar gets up, and starts walking.

Can anyone explain the Ultra Beasts to me? I heard two are bug type.

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>>10877552
"Literally nothing could ruin whatever reputation I have worse than being seen as Ash Ketchum's girlfriend, you're fine as you are."
>She puts the eggs in a pot to boil, and pulls a squeeze bottle of a yellow substance out of the fridge
>While the eggs are boiling, she grabs a picnic basket and starts arranging things inside, starting with the sausage and crackers
>She cups her chin in a hand, wondering what else to bring.

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>>10877508
Oh yeah that's right. I remember you now. Still no updates on why? what are ya gonna do now? At least you're free and stuff i guess.

>>10877822
I would also want to know what a "UB" is....

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>>10877852
"Oh I see so nothing would happen even if we went maximum over lewd and went so far as to-"
>He leans in and whispers in her ear
"Hold hands?"

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>>10877822
>>10877878
Ultra Beasts? Oh!! They're monsters from a separate dimension, kinda like Pokemon! But not quite??
But yeah um... They're really dangerous, so... Try to stay away from them and just.... Contact the IP if you find one!!

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>>10877822
the human named sun knows a lot
but i am one of those UBs apperently
>>10877940
hello sun

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>>10877815
>Eros the Meowstic starts walking away as well, in the direction of Cyllage.
>While he's walking, he pulls his Dex out of his bag, glad Psychic powers include the ability to multitask.

>>10877878
He left a note saying it was because of his job, but that's strange to me, as until then he claimed he loved his job, he worked as a scientist, developing new tools for trainers.
As for what I plan on doing, I'm going to try and catch a ship to Unova, and start a new life there. Maybe I'll find a trainer to catch me, but that doesn't matter.
I just wish my trainer had let me know why he set me free.
(OOC his trainer worked for Flare, if anyone wants to do something with that, the plot point is there.)

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>The Nurses are getting irritated.
>They place another call to the I.P, informing them that they have a deranged patient with a high concentration of Nilhego venom in their care.
>Meanwhile, said patient, Kat Armstrong, is screaming her head off.
"DROP THE ACT YOU FUCKING JELLYBITCH, I'LL BREAK FREE SOON, AND WHEN I DO, IM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE AND SEE THE REAL WORLD AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME!? THIS CAN ONLY END TWO WAYS!"

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>>10877911
>Serena freezes up as the fox comes close, her face going cherry red as he whispers in her ear.
>And then she processes his words, and gigglesnorts, taking a step away
"Man that was not what I was expecting to hear, phew, yeah, I mean, if you want."
>She checks the eggs, and pulls them out, grabbing a bowl and starting to peel them.
>If someone wants to knock on her door or whatever, I promise she won't be hostile unless it's Ash.

>>10877940
Interesting. I suppose it is time for some things to be done.
>Anon gathers some people close to him to pick someone...
>Hidden effect, go.

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>>10878225
>He laughs at her reaction and crosses his arms
"Oh what were you expecting something like us ducking into some alley way to get all kissy kissy"
>He punctuates the last two words by trying to make a kissy face at her

>>10877940
>Throw at Kat

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>Light: wake up with a headache
>Rolling to get down the couch
>Odds and it is literally rolling

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>>10877083
>Ice types are weak to heat exhaustion, and the sneasel is no different.
>He tries to find some shade to rest in, but it seems there's no forest in sight, he left that behind miles ago.
>He settles for burrowing into the ground, making a hole for himself, and hiding in it.

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>>10877971
Hi Celestee-
>This is a bad time to be using speech to text on his phone
>>10878433
>Whoops, missed this because I was in the shower
>Kat is thrown at Sun instead

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>>10878906
>A girl in a hospital gown is thrown out of a US portal
>She lands next to Sun and jumps to her feet, glaring at Sun with bloodshot eyes.
>Her hands are in casts, but she raises them anyways, ready to throw a punch
"You think this is fun, jellybitch!? End this fucking game already or I'll end it for you! What is this guy in the real world, a punchbug? A lightning freak!? One of those paper knife fuckos!? Let's fucking find out!"
>She jabs at Sun, trying to break a non-existent illusion

>>10878732
>Odd squawking can be heard from above
>Whatever it is, it is not Orrean, or even Unovan

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>>10878426
>She keeps herself turned away, working on peeling the eggs
>She starts drumming her fingers on them as she does it, though
"Something like that... anyway, did you want anything for the picnic? I've got crackers, cheese, sausage, and deviled eggs so far, but there's lots of room in the basket."

>>10878720
>She gets up, dumping the shells into the trash and noticing Light
"Morning sleepyhead, you feeling alright?"

>>10878732
>shortly after Snea becomes fully submerged, it is treated to a rather annoyed soundeing voice, seemingly coming from under the weasel.
Sooo... Vhat can I do for you?

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>>10879128
>The murderweasel ignores the sound for now, focusing on the closer threat.

>>10879185
"You can get out of my way."

>>10879224
>The squawking does not stop, it seems to be circling overhead

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>>10878906
what is wrong with your voice?
it seems really wierd

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>>10879224
>mere inches ahead of the Snea, a pair of rather large eyes pops out of the sand...
>The eyes then proceed to give the poor muderweasel a look over, with a glare that can best be described as "not amused"
I could say the same to you. I am not the one vho oh so risky dug into your home, non?