ITT: Pokemon Are Real.
Universe 2.
Which region has the most interesting history?
Last thread: >>10645359
>>10656504
sinnoh
>>10656504
UNOVA
>>10656504
Sinjoh has some serious mystery around it.
>Quincy is now somewhere in the wilderness of China
>If someone else wants to world build this feel free because having two homebrew regions is kinda too much power for one autist
>>10656504
kanto
>>10656491
"I guess that's another thing IP guy is probably gonna charge you with!"
>Sun turns around, eyeing the criminal anon
"C'mon, back down the alley we go! IP guy and Nebby are waiting!"
>>10656504
alololololloaaaa
>>10656614
>The guy walks, giving a nervous laugh when he sees the lion.
"Yeah, uh... Did you hit him?"
pokemon.... are real
PAR whos your hero?
>>10656515
>>10656558
>>10656596
Wrong.
>>10656592
>I can do homebrew China
>The group is currently traveling along the grassy plains portion of the Silk Road.
>They haven't spotted any people or towns yet, but the road is well traversed, the hoofprints of many Pokemon having shaped the path over the years.
>The fiery manes of both Ponyta herds and packs of Arcanine have come into view on several occasions, however
>Now that they're in a warmer area Leah seems to be a bit more active
"So this is China?"
>>10656675
"Oh um... Nope! He kinda.... Ran into the wall. I would've laughed if it didn't suck so much!"
>He hesitantly pokes Kira's cheek to see if he'll wake up
"I guess I can um... Take both of you back to your house? Then we can finish the investigating and take you in or something...."
>The last sentence is mumbled, Sun's hand on his chin and brows furrowed in thought
>Nerd is again at the indystrual complex
>Hopefully for the last time
>Let MAG loose
>>10656504
Kalos, definitely.
>>10656904
"..."
>The criminal scum sighs, sitting against the wall.
>>10656904
>>10656985
>Awaken my hand man.
>Kira runs a hand through his hair, matted down with blood.
"What the fuck happened? We got him?"
>Rolling for if he can get off Nebby without falling on his face.
>>10657009
>>10656985
"Yeah! I got him while you were pa-"
>Thunk
>Kira earns himself a concerned look from Sun
"... do you need some help?"
>>10657009
>>10657084
>Criminal scum shuts up, waiting to be taken in.
(I'll be done here now I guess? If you guys need anything else I can hop back in but he's not gonna run away or anything.)
>>10656504
I'd say kalos
>>10656982
"I hope MAG manages to evolve this time, he deserves it."
>>10657084
"Aside from feeling like I just crawled out of a grave? Pretty good."
>He gets up, dusting himself off.
"God, I need a shower. Think we can get down to Hau'Oli Precinct?"
>>10657147
>Kira grumbles, putting cuffs on him and making him walk.
(Thanks anon, this was fun.)
goo
>>10657147
(Aight anon, thanks for the scene. It was fun man.)
>>10657222
"Um... yep! Are we walking? Because um... Nebby could get us there in thirty seconds!"
i wanna drink more salazzle cloaca juice
>>10657334
>Kira looks from Sun, to the lion.
"...How does that work?"
>He gives Nebby a poke in the lef., someone stop his madman.
>>10657221
"He's been looking up to this for weeks, and so I am."
>Watching the Magnemite mingle with his brethen, occasionally zapping random birds
>>10657400
>>10657400
>roll to summon borb
>>10657414
(leg, jesus)
>>10657512
(Borb's at work rn anon, try again in four hours or so)
>>10657414
>No one is here to stop this madman
>Well I guess Sun is, but he really doesn't care if people touch the lion
"He opens portals! C'mon, I'll show you!"
>Hearing his cue, the lion yawns and stretches, shaking out his mane to achieve maximum floof.
>Once he's done showing off just how fabulous and amazing he is, the third eye appears on his forehead.
>With a deep, resounding roar an Ultra Space portal forms before them.
"Nebby always likes to show off for new people, but um... You can use Ultra Space to travel really quickly! You open a portal, go in, and open a new portal somewhere else!"
>>10657426
>Sylvie watches MAG with interest wondering if the next zap will lead to their evolution
"So do you enjoy holding me in your arms like this?"
>>10656858
"Yup, looks like it, kinda... more populated looking than I was hoping. Might have to move farther north."
>Quincy looks around, watching the herds and packs of pokemon roaming the tall grass
"Feels better than Sinjoh did, though."
>>10657640
>Kira squints, looking into the portal.
"I've only read about this..."
>He trails off, stepping into the portal.
>There isn't anything to tap twice so Sun gets two pats on the shoulder.
>>10657647
"Bzzzrrrrr..."
>MAG needs to approximately win five fights against pidoves like last time
>5 good rolls versus 7 bad rolls, unless something else happens first
>Rolling
>>10657647
"Gotta admit, yes"
>Thinking
"...did I bring any medicine?"
>>10657694
>Sun wonders why Mr IP man just touched him as he follows after into the portal, Nebby closing it behind the two of them
"Tada! Ultra Space!"
>The lion wanders a bit away from the two to make the next portal
>>10657944
"Medicine? Not sure what you're talking about dude."
>>10657679
"This road isn't heading north."
>She observes this fact with an incredibly monotonous tone, almost bored.
>>10657911
>Chased away by an Unfezant
>Why
>0-2
>Trying again
>>10658110
"Yeah, I'm just kinda wondering what's around, if there's actually people here, we'll go north, but the path might be made by pokemon, and we'd be fine."
>He looks up, almost expecting something
"That, and we're looking for Oathkeeper, he got left behind, and I don't know where he's going to end up."
>>10657989
"Potions, revives, the sort..."
>44
>Something in a pants pocket
"...like this"
>Pull out a Revive
>>10657950
"Well..."
>Kira surveys the area, looking at the strange rocks and plants.
"...Do you come here often?"
>>10658251
"Oh right right, I was thinking like sick medicine and all that."
>>10658269
"Yep! Portals are my main way of getting around, so I'm here um... Couple times a day, maybe?"
>A rock is nudged along the ground with his foot, scraping little patterns into the ground
"Sometimes I just kinda come here to hang around though... There's no people here, so it's pretty quiet! At least uh... At least it is for me! Ultra Beast normally don't bug Nebby, I guess they're kinda afraid of Solgaleo and Lunala?"
>>10658195
"You left Oathkeeper."
>It's said less as a question and more as a statement, Leah staring blankly at him.
>>10658379
>Kira slips on a medical mask wordlessly, stepping to follow Nebby.
"When was the last time you've seen a doctor?"
>>10658407
"Um..."
>The fact that he has to spend at least a minute thinking on the matter should say plenty on its own
"Probably um.... few months ago? Maybe four?"
>Out the portal and into Hau'Oli they go
"It should be fine though, I've been going there every day for like... 9 months now? And I feel fine!"
>>10658192
>1-2
"WhirrRrreRrr"
>Bird genocide must continue
>>10658496
"...I suggest talking to a doctor. Soon."
>Kira stops at the doors of the precinct, looking back at Sun.
"I have medical training if you'd rather someone examines you under the table. Here's my number if you need me."
>A Primarina comes out, sending a bubble toward Sun with a card in it before Kira returns it and heads inside.
>>10658338
"Would have been pretty embarassing to have come unprepared"
>Looking in the distance
"Looks like MAG is doing fine"
>>10658195
>According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a Doublade shouldn't be able to fly. It's ghost powers should be more than enough to get it off the ground. Of course Oath fails anyway.
>Oath has gone from an icy wasteland to a warm savannah full of fire types
>for a steel type, this is hardly a welcome change
>Nevertheless the quest for the Boss carries on
>throughthefireandflames.mp3
>>10658581
>if you'd rather someone examines you under the table
i wanna examine sun under the table
>>10658679
>L-lewd
>>10658581
"I'm um... Not sure what would be wrong but... Okay! I can do that! See ya later-"
>He squints at the card
"-Kira!"
>Back to the apartment Sun goes, walking with his lion to the building in Hau'oli
>>10658672
>Meanwhile....
>>10658397
"He said he could keep up, I believed in him, I still do, he'll find us, or we'll find him."
>Quincy keeps walking, watching the wild pokemon for a potential guide
>If an anon wants to jump in as the fourth member of his team, now is the time!
>>10658584
"Yeah that'd suck if something bad happened."
>>10657512
>[Distant FAKKEN JAY noises]
>>10658510
"BzzzzzzZZZ..."
>Energy levels increasing
>Keep charging
>>10658892
(Are you thinking of something specifically?)
>>10659031
(Nope, just uh, make sure it isn't the exact same type combo as someone already on the team)
>>10656504
Johto
Always Johto
How far along is Surge in those gym checks?
>>10658915
"Yep, these trips here are getting tiresome, and the sooner we go to the chasm, the better"
"...its getting late"
>>10659125
>Surge hasn't actually gotten very far, paperwork and running his gym have been getting in the way
>Actual reason: no one is playing kanto gym leaders
It's unfortunate that I have not managed progress on that front. The preparations for the vote on the 27th are taking up much of my time.
>>10658892
(What are you even in)
>>10659159
(China, literally.)
>>10659137
"It's not too late but I can understand if you're getting tired holding me and watching MAG"
>>10659152
Mr. Surge? The International Police has reason to believe you're pushing for annexation of Sinjoh for your own personal gain.
>>10659006
>3-2
>"Click, click..."
>Just a little more
>Mag is zipping from one area to another at high speeds
>>10659193
I do wish to install a military training grounds there, I have been open about this in the past, is there an issue I am not aware of?
>>10659152
(Maybe do the examinations regardless? That would spur someone to play the leader getting examined)
>>10659218
And why do you have a sudden interest in getting Kanto a standing military?
>>10659152
>Do the examination, and if no one picks the gym leader up during it just assume they did a Morty and hid all of their problems from Surge's view
Shit, it's on the 27th? I thought it was the 28th
Fuck, looks like I'll have to redo all my readings.
... what are we voting on?
>>10659202
>Sylvie yells out at MAG
"You can do it, I believe in you!"
>>10659180
(what kindof pokemon are in china though)
>>10659152
I foresee... complications. That's all.
>>10659190
"I'm not tired, but thanks. Even if the promise was only up to here"
>>10659202
"Is it just me or is he going faster than the usual?"
>>10659295
(I would assume that the Pokemon found in China would be similar to the animals found in China. Thus, you'd end up with a lot of Fire Types, Pangoro, Sawsbuck, Tauros, ect...)
(I can make a fandex for China if people want?)
>>10658892
"So.... Where is he now."
>>10658581
>Throw rokaka at
>4-2
"WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRR..."
>MAG begins sending out magnetic pulses
>>10659283
>Zipping around faster
>Zapping around stronger
>Rolling
>>10659295
>Chinese water deermon when?
>>10659349
"Yeah he's going pretty fast."
>>10659394
"Oh what's this now"
>>10659365
(id appreciate it if it isn't too much trouble)
>>10659413
(ikr?)
>>10659241
(Maybe)
>>10659263
For now? Military Police, it would seem that Kanto is in desperate need of law enforcement with real strength behind it, given what I have seen in recent days.
>>10659266
>Sounds good
It is the 27th, the date was pushed up. We were voting on the annexation of Sinjoh, among other things. Lance has the rest of the details.
>>10659322
Understood, Ma'am, we will be ready.
>>10659463
>Military Police
Mm... Maybe Mr. Kira will be open to look into this.
I do hope you aren't going to go the way of Almia.
>>10659509
>Mr. Kira
>siiiiip
>>10659365
"I assume somewhere east of us, given that's the way we came from."
>He stops, looking at the setting sun in front of them
"Which means I've been going the wrong fucking way."
>>10659449
(It's not going to be any fakemon unless people reeeeally want me to custom make a region so... No water deermon in PAR, sadly)
(Closest we'll have is Sawsbuck)
>>10659543
"...what."
>>10659394
>"Uh, uh..."
>Scan
>Level 30
>>10659416
"It's happening"
>>10659566
I think he meant demon
>>10659566
"I've got no sense of direction, okay? Xem usually helps me figure out where the fuck I am, and he's sleeping in his ball right now."
>>10659394
>>10659416
>Ding
>Magnets spinning at full speed
>Pulses emitting at max strength
>Electricity safely contained for procedure
>Zip into the magnetic swarm, signaling his readiness
>In almost no time, two other Magnemite approach, electricity sparking between the soon to be trio
>The light emitted is almost blinding
>>10659589
(Anon, this is a chinese water deer)
(I would assume that he actually meant this, since Chinese mythology doesn't have any generic water demons last I checked)
>>10659463
>Among other things
What other things
Fuck
Might as well just wake up Lance and ask him
>>10659650
Ah well then
>>10659641
"Woooww that's a pretty amazing way to evolve"
>roll to summon zygarde
>>10659509
And what way would that be? We intend to enforce the laws already made, not institute new ones against the will of the people.
...Trainer Job Requirement Act notwithstanding, that was a mistake on our part, even if the people voted it in.
>>10659668
Wake him up?
>>10659850
I recall you being quite optimistic about the Trainer Job Requirement Act, sir. May I ask what spurred the change of heart?
>Dork: finish with Business Stuff, go in search of his friend. Last number, etc.
>>10659850
Lance's house kinda got burned down by an angry Charizard so
He's been staying at Falkner's house for now
>>10659814
>Various seconds later, blinding flash dissipates, a Magneton in place
>MAG has evolved
"WhirBZWhrClick..."
>All three units are chattering and clicking at the same time
>>10659848
"Give me a break."
>>10659924
"Your friends are really quiet."
>>10659996
>throw rokakaka at
>>10659814
"Now imagine when he finally gets to be a Magnezone"
>>10659990
>Run towards
"Impressive..."
>Touch the magnets
>Odds and nerd and Sylvie get lightly zapped
>>10659919
Experiencing it's effects firsthand.
I have never seen a sadder lot of trainers than the groups that began storming my gym after the law was passed.
>>10659924
Oh dear, that is unfortunate.
Wait, then why are YOU at Falkner's Gym?
>>10660054
>Ding! Text for you, Super Nerd.
>"On my way, Stibs, had to stop for coffee."
>>10659386
"Who keeps putting these on my desk?"
>>10659996
"They keep quiet for the birds. Probably. Or they died while I wasn't looking. It gets hard to tell after a while."
>>10660084
>Autoupdate failed me
Because Falkner is my friend and I enjoy pestering him when not at my own gym
Which closes at 7 pm, by the way
-Morty
>>10660084
I'm sorry to say I know at least one of those Trainers. On behalf of my entire family, I wish to apologize.
>>10660054
>Very fast soccerdork running at incredible hihg speeds
"Stiiiiibs! I figured I'd find you here!"
>Slow down, panting.
"Whew... how's it going today, hm?"
>>10660092
"And you haven't checked, why?"
>Zygarde would squint but sadly he can't.
>The red hexagons light up instead.
>>10660091
>Last number is amount of Rokakaka on Kira's desk
>>10660175
>Still being held probably
"Hey Frankie how are you doing?"
>>10660092
>>10660109
I was just curious
Interesting, mine closes at 5PM sharp, when do you open?
>>10660175
It is of no concern, I doubt they were the worst of the people I've seen. One lady attempted to directly attack my assistants.
>>10660086
>"Wut?"
>>10660175
>Still with Sylvie in the arms
"As you can see here, pretty damn well"
>Looking at MAG, now evolved
>MAG makes multiple whirring noises
>>10660229
>10x Tamato Berries added to berry pouch.
"I'm clocking out early today."
>Kira finishes his report, takes a few things and heads out to the beachfront.
>>10660257
"Good... tired... need coffee."
>Frankie: grab coffee acquired for both Stibs and himself.
>Sipp
>>10660312
"Well, I'll be darned. Looking good, MAG!"
>Frankie beams, and passes the second coffee to Stibs.
>In the meantime, Frankie's electric duo snags his 'dex.
>>10660268
Whenever the first challenger shows up
>>10660190
>He's quiet for a good minute or two
"That's a good question. I assumed they were grown men capable of taking care of themselves."
>Morty gets up off the mat with a sigh, brushing off his pants
"Well, let's go find Lance and Falkner, then."
>>10660350
>Sipp
>Another convert to the 20 cups of coffee a day diet
"It took a bit of Pidove harassment but it was worth it"
>>10660384
>The red hexagons flare up.
"I'll give you ten minutes to find them before I kick your ass."
>Zygarde stands up, having to hunch slightly to not take the roof out with his crown.
>>10660324
>You spot something buried in the sand.
>Investigate?
>>10660350
>Feign being upset
"Where's my coffee?"
>>10660572
>What better does an OCD sailor man have to do than clean up the beach?
>Y
>>10660468
"Right, fine."
>Lance is easy, just shoot him a text and wait two minutes
>Falkner is a bit more difficult, but clairvoyance is a gracious gift - a few minutes of seemingly random wandering leads him to Falkner's room, where the gym leader is currently sleeping
"There. Lance is at his sister's house doing paperwork, and Falkner is sleeping like a baby."
>>10660645
"Well I can always kick your ass another time."
>The red hexagons die down and Zygarde gives Morty a poke.
"Do you just sit around all day?"
>>10660635
>Y.
>Buried in the sand is...
>A small green cube!
>>10660732
>Squint.
"Did someone just dump emerald in the sand out here? Guess I'll give this to Sun, hopefully he doesn't think I'm proposing."
>Can he find Sun's apartment with the help of IP knowlege?
>Maybe.
>Rolling.
>>10660717
"Depends on the day. Most of the time my gym has challengers to deal with. If it doesn't I either go wander around the Bell Tower or pester people/ghost/Pokemon. Today is a pester day."
>He gives Falkner one last glance and leaves the room, dragging a Gengar away from the sleeping man
"Also, check it..."
>Morty flashes his left hand, which has an angry red burn covering the palm and fingers
"Accidentally cursed myself. Can't touch metal."
>>10660439
"Pidove harassment sounds entertaining."
>Send the zap rat forth to harass Pidoves!
>>10660593
"Sorry, I forgot, but you can share mine if you want?"
>Frankie: offer covfefe
>>10660268
Do you know if that lady is currently detained?
I wish to know. For reasons.
>>10660593
"Have you gotten out to harass the local bird population, Sylvie?"
>>10660867
>The blue hexagons flicker before the red replaces it.
"Fucking dumbass. Are we going on a quest to fix it then?"
>>10660874
>Squeaky muahaha'ing
>It's roughhousing time. Training roll, go?
>>10660979
"Haha no Stibs has had a hold of me since we left castelia."
>>10660874
>boop the soccer nerd
"I'm just kidding around dude you don't gotta share."
>>10660593
"And if you are still wanting, we can always get some irish coffee back home"
>>10660874
"Just be ready to get mistaken for a warm blanket when things get too cold"
>>10660795
>Wait google has it.
>Last number to Sun's place.
>>10660984
>Morty considers his options for a moment, running his right hand through his hair as he thinks
"I should have the stuff for it at my gym but... An actual adventure sounds more fun. Let's go, we're off to Kalos to find a hyssop shrub."
>>10661016
>And now it's Frankie's turn to fake-pout.
"Aw, but what if I want to share?"
>Chuckles.
>>10661020
"I'll live, I'm fairly certain."
>( Question: is whoever picked up the Eevee the nerds caught still interested in playing said Eevee? )
>>10661020
"First you carry me all nice then you try and liquor me up, my my Stibs are you trying something nefarious?"
>>10661183
>Sylvie laughs as well
"Well if that's the case then I'll oblige."
>>10661174
"Hyssop shrub? I think those are in the south."
>Zygarde crosses its arms, staring at Morty.
"...Am I flying you or what?"
>>10661276
"... Sure, why not?"
>He squints, eyeing Zygarde
"Do I just sit on your shoulder or what?"
>>10661221
>The nerd stiffens up suddenly
"I mean, you did like being carried and the coffee..."
>>10661183
"Just saying."
wheres the salazzle
i feel funny. i need help
somethings wrong and im all shaky and my head hurts
>>10661372
"Not if you want to survive."
>Zygarde picks Morty up and heads outside.
"If you use this as an opportunity to get cuddly I'm dropping you."
>Zygarde takes off into the air toward Kalos.
>10 minutes plus last post number to Kalos?
>>10661416
>pap the nerd's shoulder
"Oh I'm just joking around, I guess you can't really tell with this dex talk. I know you wouldn't do anything to take advantage of me."
>>10661416
"In the worst case scenario, I'll huddle with Rey and Val. Mild shocking beats being pecked to death, and we both already smell like ozone."
>>10661487
>Pat fairypupper
"I suppose text-to-speech does have its drawbacks, true..."
>Thoughtful look
>>10661423
That's called withdrawal. Find a clinic, or ride it out somewhere quiet.
>>10661487
"Nobody here would, I assure you."
>>10660996
Watch the zapmouse go, bullying the local Pidoves and Audinos and such.
>>10661087
>Kinda assumed you mean posts so
>Welcome to Sun's humble apartment, in what fashion are you going to knock today?
>>10661546
>Kira knocks twice on the door, dropping the cube on the groun and hopping out of view.
>>10661485
"Who, me? I'm no cuddle thief, I only cuddle once given permission."
>Off to Kalos they go
>That roll sounds fine, 15 minutes to Kalos
>>10661487
"I have been had. Another moment I wish I had the gift of pokelalia"
>>10661506
>>10661541
"Speaking of Rey..."
>Join in the watching of the bullying of the local wildlife
>>10661647
>Rey takes a break from chasing the locals around and roughhousing.
>>10661506
>He zips back to where the dork Trainers are.
>>10661602
>Sun opens the door with a careless kind of excitement
>Thankfully it swings inwards
"Alol- Aw, there's no one there... Did I just get ding dong ditched...?"
>It takes him a few moments to notice the green cube. Like most people would, he leans down to pick it up, turning it over in his hands several times
"Oh wow... Did someone lose a gem? Looks kinda pricey... Do I turn it in..?"
>His brows furrow as he continues to mumble and ramble to himself
"But there was a knock so... Present?? I guess I can't really say thanks though, since no one's there... "
>The young champ stands back up, brows still furrowed in concentration as he rambles to himself
>He turns to head back into his room but pauses halfway to look down both ends of the hall
>Seeing no one, he huffs and goes back into his room, closing the door behind him
>>10661611
>They touch down in Camphrier Town.
>Zygarde drops Morty onto his butt from a good 4 feet up.
"Good, cause I'm not giving you permission"
>>10661850
>Kira pokes out from behind a corner.
"Well at least he liked it. What the hell's wrong with me?"
>He shakes his head, hurrying back home.
>>10661889
>The landing draws a wince and a hiss from Morty.
>He gets up slowly, glaring at Zygarde as he brushes dirt and grass off his pants
"Good, Lance is probably a better grumpy cuddle dragon anyway."
>>10661735
"Hey, come here"
>>10661506
"Check this out"
>>10661969
>Rey zips over and immediately snuggles up to Stibs.
>Curious squeaking
>>10661941
>Zygarde shrugs.
"Six feet vs fourteen with a soft cap of thirty? Yeah, I guess."
>Zygarde turns his attention to the town.
"You need help on your quest?"
>>10662008
"Here we go"
>Attempt to lift Rey in one arm with Sylvie huddled in the other
>Odds and the nerd falls backwards
>>10662042
"This isn't a dick measuring contest."
>Morty follows Zygarde's gaze to the town
"I don't speak Honhon, so probably."
>>10661937
>Message for you.
>Your Superior-
>"Mr. Kira, we're requesting you take a presence in Kanto to keep an eye on the gym leader Surge. Please plan a team around him and any possible help. We expect your cooperation."
>>10662086
>Frankie chuckles.
"Got your hands full there, I see!"
>>10662243
"You sure? I could be a core and have a bigger dick than Lance's."
>Zygarde sighs.
"They have berry fields out in route 7."
>Zygarde gestures to the west, walking that way.
>>10662268
"fuck"
>Kira grumbles, packing his shit.
>>10661647
>>10661506
>pap both nerds
"Well at least I can talk to you guys somehow."
>>10662086
>swirl ribbon around stibium and the new member of the carry pile in a hug
"Now we just need one more for a record."
>>10662306
"Throwing insults at a guy you've never met? Touchy, touchy. Why are you giving me your dick measurements, exactly?"
>Morty follows, as if that weren't obvious enough
>Since he's not a 14' tall dragon, the gym leader actually has to jog to keep up
>>10662269
"And for my next act, I'll carry them both all the way home"
>>10662418
"Sorry I'm already at my limit, and Probe is deceptively heavy"
>Pory beeping in the background
>>10662496
>Zygarde shrugs.
"Hey I didn't say I knocked things down with 'em."
>Zygarde looks down at Morty, the green hexagons flickering to life.
"...Do I need to carry your ass?"
>>10662418
>Papped
"That you can, that you can!"
>>10662522
"Encore, encore!"
>Frankie: grin.
>Then, for a moment, get serious.
"Hey, can we talk about some rather important things when we return to the apartment?"
>>10662593
"I suppose you didn't."
>Morty chuckles, stopping and wheezing a bit
"Yes, probably. I have bad lungs and a height that isn't 14', I'm not keeping up."
>>10662777
>Bad lungs you say?
>Time to get socked in the chest with a sack of coins then.
>Dickcatte: abscond back to the ether after doing exactly that.
>>10662777
"I could probably fix that."
>Zygarde turns around to grab Morty.
>>10662844
>Only to see him get smacked with coins.
"Nice shot."
>>10662775
"That seems to be a daily occurrence, hah"
"Lets get moving"
>Nerd: on the move, arms occupied
>>10662885
"The biggest question is this: Knowing what we know about our current situation, is it safe to stay here? And if not, is it feasible to relocate?"
>Frankie finishes his coffee and sighs.
>>10662877
"What, the lu-"
>>10662844
>And he gets cut off by a sack of coins to the chest
>The next minute is filled with pained wheezing and gasping
"... at least it was in a sack."
>>10662970
"Dumbass. Allow me to restore order."
>The green hexagons flash a bright light as Zygarde holds a hand over Morty.
>Having your body forcibly brought back to an average state probably isn't very comfortable but it feels less horrible than anything Xerneas could do.
>Morty isn't going to get any more years on his life but now his body should be closer to the average for someone his age, neither peak nor valley, a pure form of neutrality.
>Am I hammering this order thing in well enough?
>>10662962
"Are you still worried about that weird guy with the Reuniclus?
>>10662962
"I know various locations we could stay on, but they are all in the Castelia area. As for in other regions... fuck, I think JUICE bought in Kanto and Johto"
"For the time being I'll try to get in contact with him and Emmerich, try to get a thing ready by the weekend."
>>10663042
(Reminder that according to global population statistics, a person is more likely to me female than male.. so the truely average human would reflect this)
>>10663042
>Yeah, I think you're doing good m8
>He blinks in surprise, taking a few deep breaths.
"I... Thank you."
>But of course, Morty has to ruin a sincere thank you with snark.
>He flashes a grin at Zygarde before continuing
"It almost sounds like you care."
>>10663174
(Magic gender stuff would be Xerneas probably. Zygarde could probably do it but it isn't really part of his ORDER AND JUSTICE motif. He'd probably just tell the person to tell Xerneas he sent them. Even then it'd be up to Xerneas.)
>>10663315
"Nah, I just want to kill you before some other shit does."
>He plucks Morty by the legs lifting him upside down into the air and starting again to the berry farm.
"Might have averaged out your dick too. Hopefully you were small."
>>10663131
"Ugh. I really don't want to go back to Kanto, but if it's that or get offed by the locals, then I'll do it."
>>10663064
>Frankie: nod.
"It's not so much the Reuniclus man as it is his boss. For some reason, his boss considers us a threat to be monitored - and possibly to be eliminated."
>>10663389
"So nothing would have changed in that sense. Amazing. "
>Little effort is put into keeping his clothes in place, his scarf falling to cover his face and his shirt riding up... Or would that be down, in this case?
>Either way, his back is cold now
"So you're starting on the murder of Morty with my ankles. Amazing."
>>10663435
"Not the best of prospect for my either, but if we get attacked, we book it for the closest airport and the first flight out of the region"
>Mumbling to himself
"He really needs to get on with the production"
>>10663537
"Where do I go from here, your crotch?"
>Zygarde drops Morty in a patch of soil.
"We've arrived. Should be over to the south somewhere."
>>10663592
"If it's gonna involve flying then I guess I'll have to make a decision on officially becoming somebodies pokemon again.
>>10663719
"Planning on skipping straight to Third Base? Hasty, aren't w-"
>Morty meets the ground with a thud.
"To the south. Right."
>Rollin' for how many posts it takes Morty to find the hyssop bush
>>10663867
"Mortals are too slow for me. Eons of waiting for one thing."
>Zygarde follows after him, the green hexagons glowing softly.
Hey PAR, what's an easy way to make money that wouldn't get attention from the League or the police?
>Finally reached the apartment
>Flop on the couch, Sylvie and Rey still in arms
>>10663828
"I'm going to guess that will be soon"
>>10664007
hang out with a legendary
seriously its easy
>>10664007
do what i do
write shitty clickbait articles
>>10664018
"Yeah you may as well go get the ball so we don't have to panic do it if the time comes."
>>10664007
have you looked into 'freelance' work?
>>10663994
"You'd prefer everyone go for a home run right off the bat? That's a good way to get backstabbed."
>The bush has been located
>No surprise, Kalos is full of bushes and Morty is clairvoyant.
>He plucks several hand fulls of the flowers, stuffing them into a satchel he brought with him "Alright so... What now?"
>>10664235
>I messed up and included the dialogue in the meme arrow
>Cri
>>10664049
Right, I'll just call 555-GODDICK.
>>10664051
Can't write worth shit.
>>10664213
"Freelance" as in mercenary, or "freelance" as in getting things shoved up my butt?
>>10664018
>>10664089
"The only questions, then, are the question of who, and which ball, yes?"
>Frankie: flop onto the couch as well, probably with a sparklion at his feet and/or an Eevee bouncing around.
>>10664259
first option more or less, second if you're so inclined I suppose.
there's good money in either.
>>10664089
"Well, if it is any indication like with your previous trainer, you can always bail out if things go really wrong."
>>10664272
"This question as well".
>>10664259
I've tried doing both, ese. Mostly the first kind of 'freelance', not much interest on the corner for a definitely-not-a-twink Orrean.
They both have about the same chance of killing you, by the way.
>>10664235
>Zygarde shrugs, the green glow dying down.
"We go back? I don't know, any spooky ghost shit you want to see?"
>>10664259
You called?
>>10664259
yeah same fampai
i couldnt write for shit when i started
still mostly a shit writer
go be a stripper if you dont wanna be a hooker
>>10664259
I got a job for you, buddy, but you gotta be willing to get your hands dirty.
It's a simple job. Find, tag, and bag. Cash on delivery, no questions asked.
You want details?
>>10664334
why not write shitty smut and sell it on Amazon
>>10664272
"Well you've already got yourself an Eevee though dunno if Stibs wants to ruin his team aesthetic."
>>10664307
"True"
>>10664295
For some reason, I feel disinclined to get my hole ripped open. Just got out of that kind of thing a few weeks ago.
>>10664311
Great. Really brightens up my night.
>>10664324
Sorry. Wrong number. I wanted 555-DODDICK.
>>10664334
What's the difference?
>>10664346
I can give it a shot I guess. What's the deal?
>>10664324
>Morty squints a bit at the green glow, but doesn't question it
>Instead, he works on tying together another bundle of Hyssop flowers while he talks
"Spooky ghost shit? Fill me in, what's Kalos got?"
>Having finished tying the last bundle of Hyssops, he tosses it to Zygarde
"Here. Free Hyssops. Payment for the ride and whatnot."
>>10664358
>Thinking
>Thinking very hard
"...remember what I said about a briefcase?"
>>10664352
got one up on you
i write shitty smut about celebrities and hide it behind a patreon paywall
its a side job that pays nice
>>10664420
whether somethings going up your ass or not
>>10664358
". . . So? Even with Cinnamon's on the team, that doesn't mean I wouldn't be thrilled to have you. Rey and Val are both Electric-Type, but I'm not looking to split them up for the sake of optimal simulation warrior team composition."
>Frankie: slightly surprised.
>>10664420
What is some more gaping for P at this point
>>10664458
"True true, it doesn't matter much to me who I go with since unless something happens I foresee the two of you being inseparable."
>>10664444
"Yeah you want me to go get it?"
>>10664420
..right.
seems someone else already has plans for you.
nevermind then.
>>10664420
Oh dang.
See ya.
>>10664426
"The lost hotel on route 15 and 16 is kinda spooky. Too small for me though."
>Zygarde catches the flowers, eyeing them.
"What do you want me to do with these, eat them?"
>>10664420
Simple. I'm looking to get back in business. To do that, I need confiscated inventory back.
The breedstock was last seen in southern Kanto. Fifty thousand P a head. Collateral damage is acceptable.
You want the list?
>>10664420
>Intense yelling in the distance
>>10664456
Alright, fair cop.
>>10664494
Painful.
>>10664528
Thanks for the offer, I guess.
>>10664537
>sweat
>bullet: dodged
>>10664542
How likely am I to get shot in the face and do you care if your stock has some slight travel wear?
>>10664567
"I'm job hunting, keep it quiet."
>>10664458
>>10664500
"What is team aesthetics in the face of need, and then, I wasn't expecting to go further than 50% mineral group. Plus, we can always trade"
"In short, yes Sylvie. Unless Frankie really wants you"
>>10664444
>Look at the hardest-thinking nerd.
>Mrowl and poke at his 'dex.
>>10664500
"I agree with your conclusion there."
>>10664537
"Use them as a deadly weapon and beat people to death? It's whatever."
>He seems pretty focused on smoothing out a spot on his shirt
"Anyway, I'd be shit company if I just made you sit outside while I explored a hotel. We can go back to Johto. Show you the Burned Tower or something."
>>10664595
You're looking mostly for Pokemon between Levels 20 and 50, under the watchful eye of various Trainers. Do with that info what you will.
As for travel damage? Bitch, I don't care if you bring 'em back with amputations, as long as their egg-making parts still work.
>>10664649
>Zygarde shrugs, absorbing the flowers into his chest.
"If you really want to check it out I can always shed my cells."
>In a flash of green light Zygarde loses about 13 feet, a small green block next to him.
"See?"
>>10664692
you are an abhorrant excuse for a human being.
>>10664766
I concur
>>10664608
>Frankie thinks for a moment.
"Well... I would really like Sylvie, but I'm not going to push the issue if she'd rather go with you, Stibs."
>>10664638
>Pet sparklion
>Get slightly zapped
"Ah! Vaaaaal? Was that intentional?"
>>10664692
That... sounds like the sort of thing I would go straight to hell for. And how do I know you're not just going to like. Throw a salazzle at me or some stupid shit like that?
>>10664751
>Morty crouches down to get a better look at Zygarde
"So... That's your core form? You're just kinda..."
>He gives him a light poke or two
"... squishy."
>Clearly his throat, Morty leans back a bit, balancing on the balls of his feet
"I'm alright with that. You wanna lead the way?"
>>10664766
What are you, a hippy? Sad you can't marry your Rattata?
>>10664795
The fuck? Did the Plasma Fan Club raid this board?
>>10664817
First, I'd need to have a live Salazzle for that. Second, if you're hard enough to do the job, I don't wanna roll the dice. Third, if you're too gutless, I'll find someone else.
>>10664867
Crime is bad.
Don't do that.
>>10664867
You are so going to get caught by the Breeder Police
>>10664867
rattata are diseased pests and I would not allow them anywhere near myself or my team.
that said, I at least have morals. which you seem to be severely lacking.
I wonder how long it will be until Surge kicks down your door?
perhaps I'll have to do it myself if that old man is too slow.
>>10664867
Hey! The love between a man and his rattata is beautiful and sacred!
>>10664857
"This form sucks for leading."
>Zygarde paps the cube, turning into a snake.
"There, hold this, idiot."
>The tail grabs the cube, now about the size of Morty's pinky before he turns tail and leads him back toward the exit.
>>10664867
I'm not saying I'm the most moral person in the world, but uh. That sounds uncomfortably like slave raiding. Dunno how well that'd go over with the rock goblin and the boombox.
>>10664882
What crime? I'm just trying to get back property which was stolen from me.
>>10664895
Like fuck would I stay in Kanto for business. Hoenn or bust.
>>10664925
And what's so immoral about wanting my shit back so I can get back to work, huh?
As for Surge, the old man doesn't scare me.
>>10664816
"In the end, their decision"
>Turning to Val
"Something the matter?"
>>10664977
Sounds more like rescued from you. Good on them for leaving.
>>10664977
Let's play spot the Unovan.
Found one.
>>10664934
"Aw. And here I was enjoying towering over you."
>He makes a confused face, glancing back and forth between Zygarde and the cube
"What am I holding onto? Your tail? The cube?"
>Needless to say, Morty doesn't allow himself to be left behind, following Zygarde to the exit
>>10664977
That's like a drug trafficker asking "what is so immoral about getting my meth production set so I can get back to work".
>>10665016
As a Ferrumian now living in Unova, I resent that.
>>10664975
( I have been replychain memed on. )
>>10664975
"Slave raiding"? Is that what they're calling it now?
Look. Some whiny cunts stole my shit the first time and said it was 'for their protection'. What's mine is mine, and I'm getting it back.
>>10665011
You and Officer Jenny can both eat my ass.
>>10665016
Wrong. Hoennese. Unovans are too soft, and don't get me started on Kalosians.
>>10664977
when your 'work' is equal to slavery and rape, it tends to be rather.. uncouth, to put it lightly.
Surge scares no one, yet he still gets his job done.
most of the time.
>>10665052
if I say your life is mine, does that mean I can waltz over and come take it?
>>10665044
It's the first trick in the book. Unova's cool actually.
>>10665052
Thanks for making my job easier.
Reported to mu superiors, moved to Johto, changed my name, got plastic surgery, etc.
>>10664816
>Shrug
>>10664982
>Nod, grab 'dex.
"I'm trying to figure something out. Something... bizarre."
>>10665052
If you are who I think you are, I sincerely hope you drown while locked in a cage.
>>10665052
Full disclosure, this sounds 100% like a trap. Like. I go there and then the IP pop up and say "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!" or something. Is this a set up? Are you a cop?
>>10665017
"Yare yare daze..."
>Zygarde flips the cube into the air with its tail.
"The cube, idiot."
>>10665089
>Grin
"You have my full attention"
>>10665076
hey kid you want some bugs
>>10665069
You got the guts to face me head-on, kid?
If so, bring it on, I'm in Kanto for business.
If you lose, I'm turning you into chow.
>>10665044
Really? I know your type. You judge me now, and tomorrow you're calling me with a rush order.
>>10665076
I don't hear any sirens, you double Almian.
>>10665119
If I'm a cop, then you're the King of Kalos. Unless you're some high-grade breedstock that somehow figured out the Internet, this ain't a trap.
>>10665148
Not unless you got fruit.
>>10665171
I don't work the Hoenn beat right now. Someone else can get on that.
Have fun with Anabel.
>>10665139
>Tappatappatappa
>Drag over the comically oversized keyboard
"There's two things. First, the significance of a number, and second, a matter of dreams."
"The number started with 2-4-6, I remember that. As for the dreams, do you remember a Pokemon that fought with punches or a cudgel?"
>>10665171
>sweat
...What about mid-grade breedstock?
>>10665123
>To no one's surprise, Morty isn't the most coordinated individual in existence
>Rollin' for whether or not he can actually catch the cube
>If odds his scrub ways are revealed and he has to bend over and pick it up
"A bit of warning next time?"
>>10665193
I don't deal that Rokakaka shit.
>>10665206
Hey kid, you want some beetles?
>>10665171
Oh, I've got a rush order for you, eventually. Fuckface.
>Taptaptap
>Nerd writing a few notes in his laptop
>"Λ.txt"
>"Ρ.txt"
>>10665171
give me a location.
>>10665212
>Impressive, you got it.
"Nah. Next time I'm throwing it at your face."
>Zygarde flicks it's tongue out as it moves.
"We've got a while until we get there."
>Last number + 20 for minutes I guess?
>>10665193
Who the fuck is that?
>>10665206
Eh, I'd settle for buying some mid-grade strange, if the species was right. Classic Starters, any Alolan variations, shit like that.
>>10665244
Vermillion docks. I'll be sending a runner.
...are all Hoennese as awful as that anon?
>>10665223
Then get out.
>>10665275
You'll see. That or we'll be meeting soon, hope you're fast enough to keep up.
>>10665288
No, most of them are pretty easy to fool.
>>10665203
"I don't remember anything with that number, do you remember in which context it showed up?"
"Nor do I remember a pokemon that fought with cudgels... though I do remember now an human who did."
>Stibs seems somewhat vacant eyed
>>10665275
..a runner?
explain yourself.
>>10665259
"Oh no, a pinky sized cube. How ever will my face survive the ordeal?"
>29 minutes until arrival
>He rolls the cube between his fingers idly as they walk
"Do you even have eyes like that?"
>>10665223
You lost me.
>>10665275
>classic starters
>SWEAT
>wait classic?
>classic as in the ones everyone jumps on, or the Gen 1 or...?
>let's not push our luck
Yeah, not planning on selling myself into sex slavery, thanks.
>>10665288
Yes.
>>10665308
Simple. I'm not meeting you in person until my peon's sure you're not a cop.
>Bastardanon: pour a drink, hit the pipe, go for a walk.
>>10665338
Just my luck I get a Pokemon on the other end.
>>10665327
"Just wait until I get it up your nose."
>Zygarde turns back to look at Morty, a few of the hexagons darken in a squint.
"...Yes, why wouldn't I?"
>>10665338
Great.
I suppose I should have looked into the people of Hoenn a bit more before applying for a job there.
>>10665304
... easy to fool.
I fail to see how exactly that applies to the awfulness of a given person but... okay.
>>10665363
"That's the strangest kind of vore I've heard so far. Nose vore."
>Morty returns the squint, pausing with his rolling
"Where? I don't see any eyes."
>>10665288
Not all Hoennese are that awful, but that is a common attitude among those in the Breeding industry.
>>10665307
"A human...? Curiouser and curiouser."
"As for the number - I remember it had five digits. While owned by the Breeders, the number was my name. The girl who didn't last there thought it... fitting, somehow, with my conduct there."
>>10665375
I had a roommate in college when I was learning to be a doctor.
Hoennese.
...Do you mind if I ask what's with your clothes?
>>10665361
I see, so you're a coward.
I'll be there regardless.
>>10665394
>Zygarde stops in his tracks and whips around to stare Morty down.
"Are you fucking blind? Right, fucking, here. I'm looking at you, idiot."
>>10665361
From the sound of it you're an expert when it comes to pokemon on the other end.
>>10665375
Better luck next time.
>>10665414
>Evens. Bastardanon takes the bait.
Fuck you! I'll show up in person just to smack the smug out of you, you double-Almian cuntrag!
>Bastardanon swaggers across the Vermillion docks. He's a rail-thin, scarred man, with a crude pipe dangling from his lips and bloodshot eyes.
>>10665441
You're god-damned right.
>>10665398
"Curious indeed. though my memory is a bit clearer since yesterday, I'm still straining to remember persons"
>Sigh
"I suppose you don't remember the entire number, right?"
-A nerd
>>10665398
You make it sound like it's just breeders.
I guess that's not quite as abysmal.
... most Hoennese aren't breeders, are they?
>>10665399
I... alright.
I'm contest coordinator. A drab looking trainer only drags down his Pokemon when it comes to contests so... The suit is meant to be flashy and memorable. That's really it, just a custom suit meant to be flashy for contests.
>>10665441
Is there really much better luck than landing a job with Devon?
Because it doesn't sound like you're having it.
>>10665555
>5s.
>You've got it now, better seek out Rokakaka.
Well it's nice at least.
Is there any reason you don't show your hands in your images?
>>10665419
"... I may have glasses. And I may leave those glasses at the gym most of the time."
>He brings his fist to his mouth, coughing awkwardly
"Anyway, I thought you said the hexagons reacted to chemicals in the air or whatever."
>>10665540
...I was implying you fuck animals. Are. Are you saying you fuck animals or...?
>>10665555
Who's Devon? That the guy that works at the dollar store?
>>10665554
>Sparklion: think hard.
"I remember she liked musicals, I learned tunes from her, and it was fitting because I would try to escape... The last two digits might come to me, give me a moment..."
>>10665555
No, it's not a common Regional profession to my knowledge.
>>10665603
"Bring them with you next time, dumbass."
>The snake wraps it's tail around Morty's abdomen, dragging him forward.
"Shut up and start walking."
>>10665615
>Bastardanon: pace up and down the docks in Vermillion City, side-eyeing everyone and generally looking like a psychotic tweaker.
Ugh. Fuck no.
Besides the part where that's filthy, that would mean either wasting breeding time or using one I should be taking out back to dispose of.
>>10665540
so you do have a spine after all, I'm surprised.
I'll be arriving shortly.
>Double-Almian cuntrag: make your way over to Vermillion
>perks of camping out in the woods smack in the middle of Kanto, not too long of a walk in any direction.
>>10665585
>Shit, the 5s are infectious
Hm? No, it wasn't intentional.
I take care of them just as well as I do the rest of myself, in case you were curious.
See?
>>10665615
No, Devon is apparently Hoenn's largest company.
>>10665645
Well... That's comforting, to say the least.
You all realize the irritable Hoenese gentleman has done nothing wrong, correct?
>>10665645
"Something music related maybe... notation, tempo... I got nothing"
>Ruffle the zapcat's mane
-A nerd, as imageless as clueless
>>10665683
Shit. You must be fun at parties.
>>10665718
Never heard of him.
>>10665722
You sound like you would sell your friends for a poffin.
>>10665649
"But Zygarde, I don't want to look more bully-able than I already do."
>When the giant snake starts dragging you there's not much to do other than listen and walk
>>10665736
>Purr loudly
>Happy catte.
"In any event, the mysteries and challenges we're facing seem... way less intimidating now."
>>10665722
You realize the irritable Hoennese gentleman is implying that he has several viscerally unpleasant intentions up to and including homicide, correct?
>>10665718
Nice.
You know if you got a tan I'm sure someone in Alola would pick you up for a modeling job.
>>10665722
You realize you still have a record, correct?
>>10665744
Damn right I am. I bring the primo shit.
>>10665696
>Bastardanon is anxiously, or perhaps angrily, fidgeting with his pipe. It's definitely not tobacco or Oddish leaves in that pipe.
>>10665777
>I also have unpleasant intentions
>Namely throwing heavy bags of money at people
>Speaking of which
>Payday a thundercat in the snout and skedaddle shortly afterwards
>>10665756
I don't have any friends and poffins are disgusting. Otherwise, yes.
>>10665777
Eugenics is a legitimate field of scientific study, and gene pool cultivation is a vital part of that. As for his interactions with is fellow human beings, I concede that he is overly uncouth in defending his otherwise correct stance.
>>10665779
All of it is baseless slander created by academic rivals who fail to understand the importance of my work.
>>10665763
>Zygarde loosens up on Morty, groaning.
"Well you should- Wait a fucking second."
>Zygarde flashes a deep red blood color.
"I reset you to the average, wouldn't your vision be less shitty?"
>The tail slithers itself up around Morty's neck, prepared to choke him at what he sees as a lie.
>>10665831
You don't have any friends because you sold them all.
>>10665779
Unfortunately, Alola doesn't have contests, otherwise I would consider it.
>>10665744
It's a company, not a person.
>>10665831
Just hope you don't run into me.
>>10665870
Shame.
Which region to you live in?
Before you think I'm some creep looking to chop your hands off or something I work for the International Police. I have a position to hold.
>>10665777
>Keep up the pets
"Mysteries and challenges are best faced with company, I can say now"
>>10665831
Let me tell you about the huge amounts of breeder rejects with incurable illness born from genetical defects.
>>10665820
"Wh-
>BONK
>Pained catte sounds
>>10665831
If he is who I think he is, the only pool he's ever cultivated is the basement he let flood.
>>10665911
"As are most things, Stibs."
>>10665820
(Why do I always forget a reply)
"...what the COME THE FUCK BACK"
-angry nerd
>>10665810
>Shady character: arrive on scene, and approach.
would you happen to be the man I'm here for?