ITT: Pokemon Are Real. (This thread takes place in a new universe.

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>>10359443
Currently Unova.

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>>10359451
>252+ Atk Decidueye Sinister Arrow Raid vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Feraligatr: 256-303 (82.3 - 97.4%) -- guaranteed 2HKO
>That alligator is not having a good day
...
Alright. So that's a decent trick. I guess. For wimps.

>>10359443
They're all garbage.

>>10359443
alola

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>>10359518
"Decidueye doesn't have the best attack stat but um..."
>After patting the bird on the head he returns it to its Pokeball
"It's really, really good on some Pokemon! Which one were you planning on getting...?"

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>>10359587
>he's still visibly unnerved from seeing a birb shooting a barrage of ghost arrows, albeit trying very hard to not show it
>he returns the battered crocodilian with a perturbed sigh
Which one's the strongest? That's all that matters.

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>>10359703
"Uh... There's one for each type, with some unique ones for special Pokemon!"
>He pauses, scratching his chin and thinking for a moment
"Most people put it on one of their coverage moves! Just to make it as strong as a STAB and stuff!"

>Didn't get any comments so shroomish acquired I guess
>Roll for its ability then commence training the team of 3 before the gym. 0 quick feet 1,2,3,4,5 effect spore 6,7,8,9 poison heal

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>>10359765
Hrmf. Alright. That's more than I got out of the idiot locals I guess.

>he pulls out the (stolen) piece of hotel stationary, and circles a line of scribbled text with his (stolen) hotel pin, that he got while (stealing food) at a continental breakfast
Anything else I need to know? I'm not going to let you send me shoving me into such an obvious trap without pumping you as hard as I can first!

>>10359443
Gorilla Warfare

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>>10359929
"But Silver... If you're so much stronger than me any trap of mine should be a piece of cake!!"
>Sun beams innocently up at Silver, crossing his arms behind his head and shrugging

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>>10359994
>Captain Condescension is momentarily silenced before resuming his ranting
Of course I'm stronger than you! I'm stronger than anyone else in the entire world! That's why a wimp like you has to cheat and trick me! Now talk! What's the challenge thing all about!? Where's the tricks?
>Silver leers at Sun
>Again
>Wow he seriously needs like
>Cotillion classes or anger management or something this is getting silly

>>10360102
(Obviously he needs to get a a Toucannon and be angry together)

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>>10360102
"I'm already talking, silly! And I already told you! They're basically gyms!"
>He lowers one of his arms, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck with the other.
"If you're sooooo worried about me lying or something you could always take me with you!"

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>>10360171
(pls. yes.)

>>10360180
Maybe I should. It'd give you a demonstration of the way a REAL trainer battles!

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>>10360250
>Sun chuckles, leaning back against the house.
"Okay, Silver! You'll even get to rematch me if you beat all the challenges!"

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>>10360367
Fine! Maybe I will! You'll pay for emberassing me with your cheap tricks!

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>>10360427
"You just keep saying "maybe" to everything!! Are you gonna decide or...? I kinda need to know whether to pack stuff or not!"

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>>10360535
Fine! I'll do it! Just don't cry like a loser when I show you up.

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>>10360612
"Whatever you say, Silver! I gotta go pack stuff, you can um... Chill on the couch or something!"
>And with that he rushes through the front door and up the stairs to his room

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>>10360719
I don't "chill"! "Chill" is what people without ambition do to make themselves feel better about being failures!
>Silver flopps on the couch with his weavile in tow and begins chilling

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>>10360766
>Unfortunately your comment goes unheard, Sun busy at the moment with packing
>After a good five minutes he runs down the stairs, the bag slung over his shoulder littered with claw and bite marks from a certain cat
"Sorry Silver, did you say something?"

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>>10360928
>Silver jumps to his feet, the frosty cat weasel hanging awkwardly onto his chest before clawing it's way up onto his shoulder
No! Nothing. Hurry up and get moving.

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>>10360989
"Uh... Okay! Let's go! We can visit Verdant Cavern first!!"
>Without another word or forewarning he's gone, running out the door like his ass is on fire.

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>>10361083
Ugh.
>Silver stomps out the door behind him without another grunt of complaint, trudging along like his ass is lead

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Bar's slow tonight, how's everyone doing?
You nerds that are still awake, anyway.

Jesus Christ, I couldn't stant the Johto region.

Hoenn bound, baby. See y'all crackers later!

>>10362616
Fuck Johto and while at that fuck Kanto, good choice.

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>>10359443
Johto. all other regions are terrible.

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>>10359443
Johto! Although I've heard Alola is lovely.

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>>10359443
...

>roll to die

>>10359443
From what I hear they're all shit, either the government and league overstep their bounds or the people are awful or worst of all they don't respect pokemon.
That's why I chose to live way out here, where no one runs the show but me.

>>10364867
>emrys

>>10365050
>nope, but I might as well join the fun
>roll to die

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>>10364884
Actually the worst thing is when people parade around about how they care about their Pokemon or some shit.
Nobody really cares and the Pokemon themselves don't care as long as you keep them fed and make sure you have a psychic Pokemon to keep them under control.

>>10365149
Do you think pokemon are tools, or friends?

>>10365116
>wanting to die like a filthy norime
pleb

>>10365149
Orre pls go and stay go

>>10365149
>Pokèmon don't care if they are cared about.
???

>>10364884
And where would that be? Almia? Orre? In a little shack hidden in N's hair?

>>10365191
The land between Johto and Sinnoh, no one else goes here, or if they do I haven't ever seen them.

>>10365149
You sound like the kind of person that I left the regions for.

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>>10364884
Is "way out here" at least pleasant? I live somewhere smoggy, but at least it's clean and doesn't flood... Ugh...

>>10365149
You sound like you should find a bridge, tie weights to yourself, and jump.

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>>10365171
Based on what I just said, what do you think my answer is?

>>10365177
Orre is better than whatever your shitty region is.

>>10365190
Did you miss the part about psychic Pokemon?
Do I have to spell it out for you?

>>10365210
If I wasn't doing more important things I'd find you and make my Pokemon attack you.

>>10365216
Same to you buddy.

>>10365210
Shinjo or whatever it's called? Or was that the place near Hoenn?

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>>10365236
Unova, which owns Orre.
Looks like the helmet worsened your case of the heat shriveled brain.

>>10365236
Then who keeps the psychic in check?

>>10365236
I'm from Orre, and Orre's a shithole on par with fucking Almia.
I got out and never looked back.

>>10365304
I found juice

>>10365275
Harsh, dude.
Wait, you're the guy from earlier, who's crashing at the same hotel, right?
( ha ha I don't have a FC yet )

>>10365332
Found the fag.

>>10365216
It's cold, and it's not for everyone.
If I didn't have Leah with me we would have frozen to death.

>>10365236
You would lose, because the frozen land isn't empty, it's home to ice types of all sorts, and they're exceedingly strong in comparison to the wild stock of the regions. The weakest I've fought here has been level 55.

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>>10365275
Please, Unova is an awful place.
Also my brain is perfectly healthy, I'll have you know.

>>10365279
Honestly I don't know.
All I know is we have a bunch of psychics that do what we tell them to.

>>10365279
Looks like someone couldn't handle the desert, fucking wimp.

>>10365412
...Shit, looks like I've got to make my team stronger before I come and ruin your day.
And buy some winter clothing, fuck the cold.

>>10365412
>it's home to ice types of all sorts, and they're exceedingly strong in comparison to the wild stock of the regions.
So wear a parka and get a Chandelure got it

>>10365441
>He replied to me twice.
You are making yourself look dumber by the second.
(Ooc. My sides hurt.)

>>10365441
First you have to find me, the frozen land is enormous, and one team isn't exactly easy to keep track of.

>>10365452
A fire type will only get you so far here, especially if you only have one.
I don't recommend coming here unless your pokemon are already fairly strong. From what I hear, this is where Red did his training before he started living on Mt. Silver.

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>>10365386
Some kind of people put me in a really awful mood. And yeah, Virbank.
Damn is the coffee cheap. Not too good but cheap.

>>10365412
Rough, but must be worth the absolute freedom.
Hiw do you deal with the lack of social interaction?

>>10365441
I'll take the smog and noise over the desert any time.
Enjoy your dehydration.

>>10365490
(Fuck me)
(I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said anything, thanks anon)

(>>10365441 meant to also reply to >>10365285)

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>>10365516
Well, y'know. I got my last team member from my new bosses. If you need a travel buddy I'm sure I can get over to were you are in a jiffy.

>>10365532
I talk with my pokemon. I still don't understand what they're trying to say back, but they listen, and they understand me, so it's good enough.

>>10365576
No thanks, I'm good. Quite frankly none of you have given me much reason to believe I should tell you where I am, that seems like a good way to have a mob descend on me, and that would be tiresome.

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>>10365516
Alright alright, fine.
I don't think I can justify tracking down one asshole in a frozen wasteland who probably wouldn't even put up much of a fight.
Hope you have an awful day, fucker.

>>10365532
Are you serious?
The desert is many times safer than the disgusting polluted cities of Unova.
Also much nicer to look at.
So enjoy having fucked up lungs.

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>>10365667
Aw come on, I have a rocket ship! In pokemon form!

>>10365673
Glad I'll never meet you in person, douchebag.

>>10365686
Thanks, but no thanks. I don't trust people not to try and kill me or steal my pokemon or whatever.

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>>10365736
Damnit, well back home then.
>Anon decides not to take the bus, trying Ultra Space instead.
>Rolling for travel time home with last number.

>>10365760
very fast rocket ship

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>>10365667
Some pokemon are capable of using dexes for communication, you can try that.

>>10365673
My lungs are fine thank you.
Desert sucks, heat sucjs and the wirst if all, coffee is hard to find.
>Sip

>>10365686
You got my attention, I need to see that.

>Roll to think of a new character to actually use.

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Goooood morning!
Kanto and Johto will be sunny all day!
Hoenn will be clearing up from the rain!
Western Orre is getting a large thunderstorm so watch out! Eastern Orre is going to be as hot as ever, dress lightly!
Northern Sinnoh will be as snowy as ever and southern Sinnoh is getting a rainstorm!
Unova is going to be overcast for most of the day!
Kalos will be sunny with clouds coming in after 8PM!
Alola will be sunny all day!

>>10365886
(I feel you man, maybe play an anon for a bit?)

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>>10365812
The desert is fine!
The heat only bothers you if you're weak and coffee is shit anyways.
Although I shouldn't be surprised an Unovan likes it.

>>10365897
(Guess what I've been doing?)

>>10365931
(Sorry anon. All I can say is keep trying. You might just need to pick up an FC/Pokemon and force yourself to play something to get into it.)

PAR?
Has anyone seen weird doors in their house? Like, srood that don't beling there?

>>10365812
I don't think that will work for a dragonite, a doublade, and a typhlosion

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>>10365897
Overcast? At least its not sunny.
Thanks Castform.

>>10365918
Ferrum born, actually.
And it seems you only hate coffee because you don't have any. Here, let me have the fourth cup of the day while you watch
>Sip

>>10366062
I have seen a Typhlosion posting here as of lately, actually.

>>10366056
Yeah, and not even in my apartment.

>>10365931
(If everything else fails, stock images or editing the same pic over and over)

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>>10366056
Yeah I think those are called windows or something.

>>10366110
Absolutely disgusting.
Water is much better for you and doesn't taste horrible.

>>10366110
Maybe I'll give it a shot then. It just seems like their paws would be too large to use this thing right.

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>>10366219
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>10365992
(Oh no I have chars I just don't know what to do with'em.)

>>10366110
(What do you use for that?)

>>10366251
Uhh... hi?
(I don't know if this is supposed to be the typhlosion that normally posts or if it's supposed to be my typhlosion, I am confus)

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>>10366306
(Yours.)
asdaddfsgsdg aeiou

>>10366306
(its not me)

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>>10366202
Literally shit taste.
At least you got the watsr covered.

>>10366219
Yeah, there are keyboards specifically designed for large limbs like in this case.

>>10366264
(paint.net)

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>>10366315
"Leah? You need to practice with this thing, here, lemme uh..."
>He tries to help her figure out the keyboard on the dex
(Thanks for the clarification.)

PAR? What do you do when you feel like something large is missing from your life?

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>>10366490
"john madden"
"football"

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>>10366494
I go for a ride, because nine times out of ten the road is what's missing.

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>>10366505
"Hey, now you're making words! Just uh, not ones that make sense. Keep trying!"

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>>10366527
"if two guys were on the moon and one killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what"

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>>10366539
"...Gimme that"
>He takes the dex and realizes Leah has been translating Jaden Smith's tweets the whole time
>He deletes twitter and gives it back
"Try using your own words, I'm gonna go grab some more firewood."
>He goes upstairs and brings down some old shelves, throwing them into the firepit at the center of their "house" and watching them catch on fire

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>>10366585
"You are the single rudest nerd I've been around. Also the only nerd I've been around."
"Nerd."

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>>10366612
>He chuckles, smiling at the oversized firebadger
"And yet here we are in the middle of a dead city in a frozen tundra, stuck together, so clearly you've got a thing for nerds."

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>>10366657
"If you wanna feel how burning to death feels then keep up the snark, nerd."

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>>10366494
How large are we talking?

I wanna snug a satellite

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>>10366682
"Oh please, you know as well as I do that if you wanted to burn me you would have done it a long time ago, along with an entire forest, probably."

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>>10366735
"Obviously I'm luring you into a state of comfort so I can getcha."
"What's the plan, st-... Squincy?"

>>10366722
me too

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>>10366763
"Eight years is a long time to lure me into a false sense of security, Leah. As for today's plans... I was thinking of heading south, checking out the ruins at the base of the mountains again, we still haven't checked out that huge temple. Lemme go find Xem and we'll get out in the snow."

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>>10366806
"Aren't I a genius? Better keep an eye open from now on, sucker. Let's find that fatass."

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>>10366853
"A genius wouldn't tell me her plans, or grow a soft spot for a nerd."
>Quincy looks around for the sleeping dragonite
"XEM! WAKE THE FUCK UP!"
>If no one picks him up I'll just NPC him for a while

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>>10366939
"Just wait until I eat you in your sleep."
>Kick the barney ripoff.
"WAKE UP YA FUCKIN' PIKEY."

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>>10366981
"Oh please, I doubt I even taste good, I've been freezer-burnt."
>Boop a dragonite
"Come on dude we're going places today."

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>>10367043
"Lewd eating. I think he's asleep, let's just go."

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>>10367118
"That was a mistype, right? Uh, anyways, yeah, long walk ahead, let's go."
>He flips up his hood and grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and opening the door, the frozen air rushing past him into the room as he leaves the tower.

>>10367141
"Yep, typo. Definitely."
>Leah follows after Quincy, functioning as the world's best space heater.

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>>10367173
(fuk)

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>>10367173
>>10367184
"Phew, that would have been awkward, uh, unless you know how relationships work, because I sure as fuck don't."
>Rolling for travel time

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>>10367304
"If we date I call eating you."

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So I had somebody here yesterday that I should leave kanto if possible and I missed their list of places to go, anybody have any suggestions?

>roll for cute ais

>>10367422
Beep boop

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>>10367360
"I don't think that's how that works."
>He trudges through the snow, his hood pulled close around his head
"I don't even know where we'd go on dates, if that was a thing."

>>10367422
(Well now I gotta pick up mine.)

AM when

>>10367484
AM?

>>10367484
(When I figure out what to use as an ava for him.)

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>>10367361
Unova is nice so far.
As reluctant as I am to say it... You might like Oblivia.

So I tried the musical...
A kid gave me a prop case and a tambourine afterwards.
He said I'd do a lot better if I dressed my Pokemon up... so that's a thing.
Also I fell asleep on the boat.
Is it normal for birds to sleep on your hair?

>>10367506
I have no mouth and I must scream

>>10367507
Nice

>>10367507
(Theta from RvB?)

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>>10367361
Unova, Alola and Kalos are best from a cultural standpoint, Sinnoh and Hoenn are passable.
Just don't get caught by a random guy desperate for a pokemon to comply with the new laws.

>>10367531
Some do.

>>10367507
(oh fuc)

>all these hot robots

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>>10367445
>Oh yeah that was four posts
>Now they're there
>A large city, hidden behind an enormous wall lies before them, the main gate cracked open a few years ago
>Quincy walks right through them, looking up along the road, where the staircase leading to the Ruins of Alph can be seen at the far end of the city
>But his destination is the center of the city, where an enormous temple stands proud
"Let's see what we can find today."

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>>10367531
I don't think I've ever heard of oblivia
>>10367645
Oh thanks for resending the list.

(I like how space and robots have become the main focus on neoPAR.)

>>10367445
>>10367786
"Looks about as cold as ever here, let's go."
>Roll to help the weeb find something.
-Leah

/par/, what Pokemon is best for fug?

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>>10367967
"It's warmer once the wind isn't an issue, come on."
>He climbs up the steps to the temple and enters at the top of the ziggurat
>rolling to find loot

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>>10367885
It's a small region, I don't blame you.
Oblivia is an archipelago with lots of monuments, temples, and ruins dedicated to legendary worship, with the only human towns being little villages.
>>10367645
What's the name of the little gray birds?
>>10368104
Fug? The apex predator?
Uh... Grumpigs.

>>10367645
Kantonese expat here. Glad I got out before that shit passed, my shittier family members are going to be in that "desperate" category.
You up for grabbing coffee if you're in Virbank, by the way?

(Obviously what PAR needs is more sentient space equipment.)

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>>10367885
Stay safe.

>>10368104
Wat.

>>10368132
Pidove? Neos City is full of them as well, they get everywhere.

>>10368134
I'm always up for a coffee, be it the first ir the twentieth if the day.

>>10367891
(Hell yeah)

Hello?

>>10368248
Alright. Fourth street, just over by the Pokemart work?
I'll be the joker with the funny hair and the Luxray - can't miss me.
>Dude: head out to meet the other nerd.
>>10368264
Hey there. We read you. What's up?

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>>10368264
Yes?

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>>10368264
Yes this is nerd.

>>10368288
Going in with the full team of Porygon2 and Magnemite, and probably worse hear.

>Nerd: time to make things happen, 5 minutes or posts.

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>>10368413
>Uncreative Faceclaim: be chilling with coffee , a Luxray, and curiously, an Alolan Raichu.

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>>10368124
>Wasn't sure if someone else wanted to jump in and GM there, sorry for the wait
>They enter what seems to be a church for Arceus, a statue in his image at the far end, with more staircases leading down on either side of the room. The wheel of the statue seems to be made of gold, with emeralds glittering at the spokes
"Holy fuck, these guys were rich!"
>He looks around through the pews and behind the statue and such

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>>10368578
>Nerd: materialize
"Hey, nice team"

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>>10368729
>>10368729
>Kantonese Soccer Expat: pass some delicious coffee.
"Thanks. Got them from a friend who took 'em in after some Daycare got forced to close."
>Pat zap cat and zap rat
"They've been nothing but pleasant with me, though they definitely have their quirks."

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>>10368850
>Coffee #10 of the day acquired
>Sip
"A daycare? Lucky they didn't end messed up"
>Looking at the Aloraichu
"Very lucky find indeed"

>Meanwhile, the nerd's team closes in, the Porygon2 observing the Luxray up close and likewise with the Magnemite and Alolan Raichu

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>>10368850
>The Luxray nods in acknowledgement.
>>10369013
>The Luxray is curious about, and possibly a bit confused by, the artificial Pokemon.
"Hm, No scent, odd."
>The humans here will only hear low mrows.

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>>10368850
>Squeak
>>10369013
>Poke

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>>10369059
>Beep beep beep
>Vocalizer: ON
"Scanning..."

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>>10369075
>The Magnemite mostly stares with single eye
>Bzzzzzzzzzz
>Poked
>Whirrrr?

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>>10369013
"The facility definitely left its mark, I'll be blunt. For instance, my sister likes a perfume brand with what I'm sure are processed pheromones in it - drove these two berserk."
"Still, all told, they're pretty well-socialized."

>roll to summon juice

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>>10369148
"Scanning? Why? For what purpose?"
>Zap cat: doing a frighten.
>How intensive a scan are we talking, and do you want a moveset/stats?

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>>10369192
"Yo."
>Zap mouse: just kinda tail-float..

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>>10369276
"What kind of perfume would have pheromones of it?"
"Either way, as long they don't get a whiff of it they should be fine, right?"
>Pat the electric duo

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>>10369302
.whaaaaaat
.cant you see im busy doing nothing

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>>10369327
"Identification purposes...scanning complete"
>Porygon2 gets his level at most

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>>10369364
>Whirrrrrbzzzzz!
>Porygon2 pipes in: "He says that he is happy to meet you"

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>>10369378
"The kind that idiots wear because they think it'll make them more persuasive. They're fine as long as nobody's using it, and only have a problem with the people wearing it. Pretty sure it reminds them of the, er, chemicals used in shady Daycares."
>Chuckle awkwardly.
"Anyway. Name's Frankie. Just realized I forgot that part, heh."

>>10369389
(Hey are you in HG too?)
How are you today floating space burger?

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>>10369402
>>10369425
"Hmph. Very well then."
> Luxray: Lv 46. Registered nickname: Val
"It is good to meet you both, and your Trainer."

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>>10369567
(holy shit my fucking doppelganger has surfaced no actually)
.fucking
.bored
.what about you

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>>10369517
"Daycares and Kanto are a goddamn ugly combination. But at least they're out of there, pokemon this cute make me reconsider my mineral group fanboyism, hah"
"Oh yeah I always forget that part. Just call me Stibium, for now"

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>>10369402
>>10369425
"Same, bros... Just, like, call me Rey."

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>>10369650
"Noted, Val. My pleasure as well"
"I have no name yet, my old one was an embarassment"

>>10369684
>The Pory moves in to scan Rey
"Stand still..."

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>>10369670
"You got that right, Stibs."
>Sipp
"Anyway, I just transferred into a job at the local Pokemart. Bookkeeping and inventory management, mostly. I play soccer on the weekends, though."

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>>10369650
>>10369684
>Happy whirring and sparking

my fantroll
juices spacey

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>>10369746
> Rey: A-Raichu, Lv. 42
>>10369803
>Also happy sparking and squeaking

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>>10369754
"Lucky, you found work quickly. Still checking a few leads here, probably will end with those Aether guys"
>Sipp
>Listening on the electroduo growls and squeaks

>>10369650
"Heh, a bit grumpy"

>>10369684
"I wonder how good you are at psych stuff. Maybe you already know my actual name, hah"

(I like how PAR is so dead no one offered juice a discord invite.)
>>10369665
(You want in the discord?)

>>10369983
(That's because that discord is mostly ded you dunce.)

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>>10369881
"Thank you Mr. Rey"
>Ding, message sent back to his trainer

>>10369983
(Would if I could)

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>>10369983
(eh maybe when i feel like im not gonna fuck up and make everyone hate me)
(ill just be lurking forever)

>>10370057
based satellite knows not to trust the discordfags

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>>10369923
>poke, poke.
>"Hello?"
>Psych mouse is trying not to be Hella Invasive with psych stuff.
>"Val and I don't, um... like 'scans' and stuff much. Bad memories."
>Psych mouse: hug Val for support.

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>>10368638
>It would seem my firebadger has vanished, shit
>Quincy comes across a large chest behind the Arceus statue, loaded with gold and clearly set as an offering to Arceus
>He stares at it for a while, wondering if he should take it.

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>>10370011
>Ding, scan reports received

>>10370182
>Mind poked in
>Nothing important obtained without effort
"Gotcha. Pory2 can be a bit too impersonal, sorry about that he does the scan to almost everyone we meet"

>>10370247
>Well, I guess I'll GM this for you
>The air around the chest is mildly distorted, not unlike a heat haze. All in all, it's nothing to scoff at - the chest itself was clearly crafted with care, the wood smooth and thick, with neat, elegant engravings.

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I see why you guys say Kanto is shit now.

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>>10371055
How's your Kanto experience so far?

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>>10371114
(Fuck I wasn't even expecting anyone on.)
How many ways can you say bad?

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>>10371171
(Whoops, I'm uh... Always online.)
There's about... 50 different ways to say it in English.
Why, what happened?

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>>10370370
>"It's okay."
>"Umm... my Trainer and I need to go. Sorry."

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>>10371232
(Welp.)
Uh, got my bug team rekt by some fire dragon. Rest in pissaroni.

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>>10371310
"Heh, we'll stay in touch"
>To Frankie and team
"See you soon, then"

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>>10371427
What, like... A Charizard?
Or is Black on a surprise vacation in Kanto?

>>10371427
Rip in piss indeed

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Good evening how is every on doing today?
>>10370057
(As long as you feel fine i don't mind either way)
(But juice a best)

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>>10371786
Ehhhh, I'm alright.
Took my Pokemon to Aether's gym... Not the League kind, strictly a training kind.
How're you doing?

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>>10371786
(much appreciated buddy)
.uhhhhhh pretty good
.mostly bored
.what up with you
>>10371889
.tell aether to make their own island chain and do a gym challenge
.thatd be rad

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>>10371427
Well there's your problem. you're using bugs my dude.

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>>10371786
...

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>>10371903
That'd be a job for the Aether Alola, I work for Aether Unova.
Maybe one of those Alolan bastards will be able to convince Faba to stop snorting beans like crack long enough to get something done.
>>10371945
Well, aren't you just spooky~?

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>>10371903
i'm doing pretty good, juice
it's snowing like usual here
well we can talk now to distract you, sounds good?
>>10371945
you are a quiet guy aren't you?
i understand that

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>>10372080
...
>Whiteboard equipped
>"I don't consider myself scary."

>>10372137
...
>"Lost my voice actually."

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>>10371945
.hey major tom to ground control
.helloooooooooooooooooooooooo
>>10372080
.okay hear me out
.fuckin
.space bullshit gym
.gym leader juice sounds amazing
>>10372137
.sounds good to me man
.snow is rad i never got to see it but
.it looks fun

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>>10372239
.... voice loss doesn't matter on a forum.
Just fucking type out a message.
Y'know.
Like everyone else does.
>>10372253
A gym in spaaaace?
Fund it.
Call NASA, those Kantonese astronauts need a way to still legally do their jobs.

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>>10370814
>Quincy decides to leave it out of respect
>Totally not because that's the most obvious trap ever
>Now where'd Leah run off to?

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>>10372239
oh
i'm sorry i got it all wrong, that must be suck
>>10372253
yeah
it's pretty fun, and i'm used to it since it snows most of the time here, it's pretty cold unless you are wearing clothes for cold
at least my suit is made with the cold in mind

What are some things a wild pokemon can do to make money?

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>>10372392
Stealing stuff. thats what wildys are good at anyway.

>>10372426
Wildys, thats an odd term

>>10372288
...
>Whiteboard unequipped
Sorry.
I seem to of forgotten simple crap like that.
Forgotten a lot of thinks actually.

>>10372253
Hi?

>>10372350
Online is the closest there is to it.
I don't mind.

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>>10372288
.itll be awesome
.champion juice
.ill take the blue route and actually have a varied team
.or have six magnezones
>>10372350
.well youre smart so
.got a brain in there at least
.so gonna crash land in the snow and uh
.what would it even be
.snow satellite
.snow t pose
>>10372392
.you could yoink shit from humans
.im my own master now kinda shit
>>10372514
.bonjour

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>>10372558
Could you yoink me some money mister space AI?

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>>10372443
Fitting though.

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>>10372558
You've gotta have a space theme.
Minior, Solrock, Lunatone, bla bla stuff.
>>10372514
Alzheimers.
That's my official diagnose, five days to live.
Sorry bud.

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>>10372514
well, i hope you get your voice back that must be pretty awful
>>10372558
well i guess you would try to make a snow angel but i don't know if crash landing on earth would be a good idea because it would be dangerous, for other people and maybe even for you

>>10372443
It's a cute term.

>>10372558
Are you just going to say hi in different languages until you think of a joke?
That's what I do.

>>10372604
I remember being hit in the head really hard.
I highly doubt I'm dying.
Amnesia more then anything.
If anything I'd die of something like slipping on a banana peel.

>>10372665
I can manage.
Thanks anyway.
So.
What's with the suit?

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>>10372571
.geez im telling nasa
.where you want it and how much
>>10372604
.i remember solrock and lunatone but what the fuck is a minior
.also dont the rocks kinda
.suck
>>10372665
.true
.but like
.snow crater
.the ultimate angel
>>10372687
.i am the joke
.haha
.anyway sup

>>10372702
Can you have it come out the ATM outside the Viridian city pokemon center in about 30 minutes?

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>>10372687
I like wearing it most of my time
The only time i don't wear it is at work and when i'm going to shower and sleep
But no one will look at me in such situations nor they know how i look and the ones who know howi look i keep it a secret
>>10372702
Well you're already an angel in the sky
At least for me

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>>10372687
I know, that was the joke.
Dying from a fruit, wouldn't that be just... Bananas ?
>>10372702
Minior is a star shaped rock Pokemon.
I don't know, I wouldn't use them personally, but I guess the Alolan Champion makes them work pretty well.
You could... Have an Umbreon and an Espeon.

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>>10372702
Whats the best flavor of ice cream?

>>10372702
Up dog.

>>10372816
I find that.
Respectable.
Hey.
Maybe the ladies will come clamoring towards you soon.

>>10372836
A joke?
Couldn't tell.
It slipped right by me.

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>>10372784
.sure
.bweeeep laws being violated
.beep beep money stolen
.donezo will be there
>>10372816
.thats the sweetest thing anyones said to me
.uh
.im not sure i get romance yet
.maybe wait another ten years for that
.or not who knows
>>10372836
.oh fuck
.its the asteroid douches
.those guys suck
.yeah ive seen them before
.fuckin maybe
.what do you use
>>10372892
.uh
.i
.cant
.taste
.ice cream
.thats like me asking you what your favorite code to execute is man
.cookie dough is probably good
>>10372919
.well okay
.ill just go fuck myself

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>>10372947
Sliggoo, Deino, Mawile.
They aren't very strong at the moment, I'm not much of a battler.
>>10372919
You'll recognize them when the time is ripe.

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>>10372947
my personal favorite code to execute is code 997. The one where we all go get milkshakes.

Now lets step up the difficulty.

Whats 8856 + 442 - 3 + 12

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>>10372919
Who knows maybe girls maybe guys
But i would take quite a while until i even tell my gender really since my voice is a bit muffled in this suit you can't quite make out if the voice is masculine or feminine
Well my voice is already pretty androgynous but there is a tint of my actual gender
But i like not revealing my appearance to people i meet, it makes me feel safe
>>10372947
No problem
You don't have to worry about romance we can still be good friends

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>>10372947
I'm the only space asshole around here.
>Roll to crash into Poni Island.

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>>10373043
.your puny pokemon will be no match for my laser
.pew
.jk
.if i dont get vored by a mawile when im on earth then im kicking your ass
.somehow
>>10373180
.man i need a milkshake rn
.9,307 duh
>>10373251
.hell yeah
.sick friends
.the best of friends
>>10373285
.uh
.you wanna try that again
.or
.no

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>>10373314
Mawile isn't that big, I don't think he can vore anything bigger than a 10 year old.
How're you gonna kick my ass with no legs, eh, juice?
Calling you on your bluff.

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>>10373314
Hey.
How many lasers do you have up in there.

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>>10373314
You fucked up now, ass.
>Roll to crash space nerd into Sun's house.

>>10372947
You almost fell for it.
Did you?

>>10373043
Wait that last response was a joke as well?

>>10373251
Well whomever you are behind that suit I'm sure has a likable charm.
With or without.

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>crap we're late
>roll to see if the money is still there and how much

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>>10373349
.well
.ill get legs
.and kick your ass
.ha
>>10373400
.400 lasers
.all of them
>>10373405
.i almost felt that one
.id offer to knock myself out of orbit but uh
.you kinda suck at this
.you need a nap or something
.jfc
>>10373521
.i literally made the updog joke earlier
.come on

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>>10373521
What, none of those puns are landing?
Welp. Time for me to peel out. Or split.
>>10373573
But juice, how will you get into my house without arms?

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>>10373521
Having a fruitful time?

>>10373573
That's clearly not enough lasers to fend off space denizens.

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>>10373314
yeah we are best freinds
i'm best friends with a satellite, that is so cool
>>10373521
thanks you for the compliment
that made me a bit embarrased hearing that

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>>10373573
What's the best planet?

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>>10373635
.if you want a fuckin hug just ask
.how many weird space gems do you have up here
.i think this one is new
>>10373664
.absolutely
.need more lasers
>>10373741
.and im friends with a cool squid guy
.the party is on
>>10373755
.i mean earth is the only decent habitable one
.jupiter sucks shit
.desu everything in our system is kinda shit

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>>10373859
What's the most mindblowing fact that you know?

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Hakuna Rattata
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Rattata!
Been here since the earliest daaays~
Noo-obody wants me, because I can't get Blaze
They say I got shit EVs, probably raa-bies
Hakuna Rattata!

Hakuna Rattata!
Joey grew out of his phaaaase
Hakuna Rattata!
I haven't eaten in daaays
Ooooh it'll take max EVs, and Rare Candies, just to last to mid-gaaaaaaame~
No, life ain't problem free, but baby you got meeeeeee
Hakuna Rattata!

>the mouse attempts to preform a tap dance routine to accentuate the performance

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>>10373859
Make over 75% of your body weight lasers.
Then put more laser on your dick when you get one.

>>10373917
Need help getting to Nimbasa?

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>>10373859
Space gems...?
Deoxys has a gem for a core, is that what you mean...?

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>>10373911
.40 years in space lets you develop intelligence
.uhhhhhhhhhhhh
.i had a good one fuck what was it
.idk i dont remember
.ganymede is a shithole
.its cold as fuck
.theres fucking frozen water
.its like
.decently livable
.maybe
.if you like cold
>>10373992
.dick lasers
.YES
>>10374039
.nooooo
.it was like
.evil and angry and had a rainbow face

>>10373573
Did you now?
I didn't notice.
Sorry satellite man.

>>10373635
>>10373664
W-why?
These puns.
They just.
I hate to love these.
But I can't make them myself.

>>10373741
You must be heating up then.
Heh.
Maybe we can make it a little hotter?
Nah I'm mess'en.
Just a joke.

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>>10373564
>Just enough money with a little left over probably
>Buy that ticket to Whereverland and wait for the morning's boat.

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>>10374246
Uhhhh....
Wait, wait, I think I know what you're talking about.
Aether Alola tried to study a black crystal monster with a chest that kinda looked like a skull, is that it?
>>10374248
A bit punbearable, aren't they?

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>>10374246
Hell if I know what it was, sorry.
Get more lasers, just in case.

>>10374248
Well, puns don't grow on trees.

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>>10373859
heh
it's good to have a friend
>>10374248
if it was too hot i would have to take this suit out but it's a joke
y-yeah a joke haha
>they accept the just but it's steaming with embarrasment

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>>10374248
.yep
.rip us
.leaf you a new joke sooner or later
>>10374303
.yeah that
.how evil is it
.am i already dead
>>10374329
.all the lasers
.i will be the final boss
>>10374353
.if you see any satellites hurtling toward your house
.uh
.its a hug
.yep

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>>10374384
Uh.... Hold on, lemme just....
Okay so, I asked a friend from Aether Alola about it a while ago and he said...
"It has an extraordinarily vicious disposition and is constantly firing off laser beams."
Might wanna hurry up on the Earthly robody.
Or get help from one of those space faring Pokedestined.

>>10374303
Please.

>>10374329
Money kinda does.
So maybe puns do?

>>10374353
Is this the first time someone flirted as a joke with you?
I'd like to see how you'd react if someone actually flirted with you.
Cause that's funny cute.

>>10374384
Darn you.
Fine.
I will wait.

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>>10374384
>ROLL TO KNOCK THE SASSY SATELLITE INTO HILBERTS HOUSE

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>>10374421
.that sounds
.oh fuck hold on
>>10374472
.yeah one sec
>>10374502
(character development time fuck how do you do this)
.fuck
.im literally under attack by space rocks
>uh
>roll for damage?
>like, dubfail is juice being totally trashed and an odd is being mostly trashed and needing repairs while an even or dubs is like
>yeah ur not dead

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>>10374384
Become a bullet hell boss.
JUICE of ALL THE LASERS

>>10374303
>>10374421
Hell, what's with Alola recently.
Operation save a satellite is go.

>>10374472
I don't know, maybe if you nurture them.

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>>10374564
This is UNN with a breaking report! Something has crashed in our beautiful land.
More coming soon!
Now back to the terrorism desk.

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>>10374384
i would accept that hug
I think
>>10374472
W-well i'm not used to beings flirted so i get a bit shy and awkward
>>10374564
What's wrong!
Are you okay?

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>>10374502
>>10374564
>Hilbert almost falls out of his chair in his haste to get out of the way
>Oh god there's a satellite sticking out of his second story apartment room, what cruel god did he anger
"OH FUCK WHAT THE HELL"
>>10374567
Does anyone have Colress' number?

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>>10374567
>>10374643
.uuh fuck
.made it to unova
>>10374651
.hey
.uh
.nice house
.its
.kinda small
.haha

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>>10374564
Wait what

>>10374612
>SIPPPP


>>10374651
No I don't!
Coming!
>Note to self: find a faster way to get to Castelia than this slow ass ferry
>Rolling: last digit * 2 minutes

>>10374502
>>10374564
WHAT!
NO!
THE AI WAS COOL!
WHY LIKE THIS?!
YOU MONSTER!

>>10374567
What?
Nurture?
We need to save satellite man.

>>10374643
Flusteredness aside I need a hug.
Satellite man may be a gonner.

>>10374706
AAAA!
Wait you ok?

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>>10374706
"That's because it's an apartment. I'm too poor for a normal house, you silly satellite."
>Yes, sass. Sass is the best way to hide panic.
>>10374715
Alright, I got this...
I'll just bait out Colress!
>Uploaded robotlewds.jpg

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>>10374715
>>10374721
.ill just
.be here if you need me
>>10374757
".dude"
".i can see it"
".the light"
".fuck me the sun is small"

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>>10374715
>>10374757
What crashed into Unova this time? I swear I didn't test the Kyurem Cannon.

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>>10374715
>Fucked up a bit the calc
>Make it 20 minutes total

>>10374721
ON IT

>>10374757
The things I do for science.
>Upload more robotlewds

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>>10374772
"Request denied, can't fuck an injured satellite."
>>10374779
A satellite friend of mine is currently stuck in my apartment.
Think you can do some robo magic and uh...
Either fix his current body or make one that actually fits through my damn door?
>>10374808
He's already here, dork.

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>>10374779
A satellite. A satellite that gained sentience spontaneously and could actually use some more point defense lasers.

>>10374840
I'm juggling a thermos of coffee, the dex and trying to not drop it all off this ferry.

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>>10374840
If you'll do me the favor of distracting the paparazzi I'll have him picked up and... Transported somewhere...
>Rolling for travel time with last two numbers.
>>10374901
...I see.

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>>10374840
".i can see him"
".robo jesus"
".hes kinda hot"
>>10374904
holy shit thats a fast nerd

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>>10374706
Are you safe?
Did you get hurt?
>kalaramri is really worried
>>10374721
M-me too
I hope he's not a goner
And for a hug i would if i met you
Probably feel really flustered about being that close to someone

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>>10374904
... How the fuck am I supposed to do that?
Alright, fucking...
I guess I'll go answer interview questions on what happened or some shit.
>>10374953
"Gotta go distract the papa, don't wreck my apartment more, ya lil' shit."
>And with that Hilbert is gone, running down the stairs to intercept the reporters.
>>10374901
Fuck the coffee, hold that shit between your legs or whatever.

>>10374962
.uh im okay
.everythings kinda
.broken tho
.sorry man

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>>10374999
>Oh my god why do I always get gets at the worst times
>NERD BOY SLIPPED, FELL DOWN THE STAIRS
"SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING"
>Yeah, that's a broken leg.
>Still gotta distract the papa though, so the cursing, angry Hilbert crawls the rest of the way.
"STOP STANDING AROUND AND CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE, ASSHOLES"

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>>10374953
>>10375028
THIS THING IS NEARLY THE SIZE OF A FUCKING FOOTBALL FIELD.
>Rolling for time to get him on the frigate with last number.
>>10374999
HOLY SHIT.
WHAT DID YOU DO?

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>>10374953
>>10374999
>>10375055
"The IP will be handling this, can someone get the employee to a hospital?"

>>10375062
"...Is that Plasma?"
>Raikou is sent out.
"Hands up! You're tampering with evidence!"