>Meanwhile on Demon Hunter /tg/ I think I need help DH/tg/.

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Anybody here got tips for removing a possessing Archdemon from a host body? Asking for a friend.

>>55357963
Have you brought him before your local priest?

>>55357963

Have you tried not feeding him blood and reading him stories from that scary flesh bound book?

>>55357963
How weird we talking here?

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>>55360159
Remove the glowy crystal shit from their forehead.

>>55360644
That's a good way to yank their brains out, Anon. Evil crystals can't just be popped like zits.

>>55360713
lubricate with holy water. works every time

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>>55360383
>>55360400
>>55360429
He sorta looks like.......well, pic related. He's a sweet kid though, probably couldn't harm a fly.

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>>55360400
>that scary flesh bound book?
I swear if one of you idiots dug up the Necronomicon again...

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>>55360985
I highly doubt -anyone- is that stupid Anon.

>>55360159
God knows his own. Kill your friend and the archdemon and the host should separate.
Unless he was an asshole.
C'mon, time's wasting. He could start to like having an archfiend attached to him, and then it's too late.

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>>55360782
Seen a case like that years back; young farmhand had gotten himself caught in a nest of succubi. Took me four days, and I lost a hand (it grew back), but we got him out while he could still breathe. Nine months later, baby like yours shows up in a crib.... along with a deaththreat for yours truly.

Son, did you not wear your runic amulet while up in the Appalachian Mountains?

My only advice would be to either neuter him before he gets pulling pigtails, or get him a hobby like woodcutting, model trains, or tabletop roleplaying. We don't need this thing breeding anytime soon.

>>55360782
>cyclops eye
>dog legs
>lion tail
You've got yourself an Eastern Cyclops there. Unlike Western or "True" Cyclopses, Eastern Cyclopses are human-sized and naturally civilized; they can integrate fully into human society.
However, like all nonhuman children, parenting has its challenges. For Eastern Cyclopses, the biggest issue is their prescient ability to see the future. These abilities develop during puberty, and can be very disconcerting when they first become manifest. Make sure that he gets educated about what is going to happen to him and when.

>>55361237
Nah, this definetely isn't a Perciever half-demon, although they do look very similar to Eastern Cyclopses. You can tell by the lack of a 6th finger on each hand, the length of the tail, and the fact that the feet are not cloven hooves.

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>>55360644
>>55360713
>>55361147
Well I mean, I'm trying to find a way to *not* kill him and to hopefully save his soul from being devoured by some sadistic demon deity, but that hope seems to be getting dimmer and dimmer. Especially since it seems to be destroying his body the longer it remains within him

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>>55361108
Anon, there's always an stoned idiot out there who thinks it'd be a real laugh to go dig up a weird fleshbound book and read their contents out loud.

Trust me, I've seen it too many times now.

>>55361446
Do you have a master abjuruer with you? There are magic circles that can lock your friend into a magical stasis. This will get you some time to get a master exocist to deal with your friend; You'll probably want to call up those guys at the Holy Sepulchure, but they don't come cheap.

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>>55361446
Hold up. It's already destroying his body?

Your friend's a goner anon. The only thing to do now is deal with the archdemon inside him the good ol' fashioned way:

With a boomstick.

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>>55361345
>You've got yourself an Eastern Cyclops there. Unlike Western or "True" Cyclopses, Eastern Cyclopses are human-sized and naturally civilized; they can integrate fully into human society.
However, like all nonhuman children, parenting has its challenges. For Eastern Cyclopses, the biggest issue is their prescient ability to see the future. These abilities develop during puberty, and can be very disconcerting when they first become manifest. Make sure that he gets educated about what is going to happen to him and when.
I'll let him know then. He's playing with some butterflies outside right now. I think he's talking to them.

>>55361642
Something to note, their eyes are (obviously) very sensitive, and can be subject to many unusal diseases. The most common that you'll see is kinda like the cyclops verison of a cold; his eye will fill up with gunk and mucus, and will often become stuck shut as the eyelashes become stuck together.
This buildup can be cured by pouring eyedrops made of salt water and lemon juice directly into the eye. This doesn't damage the eye, but as one would expect, it hurts like hell.

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Uhm, DH/tg/, I could use a little help.

I've got this... girl trapped in the basement. At least I hope she's trapped. The chains on the basement door aren't doing much to keep her from doing this all the time.
Pic related.

>>55361894
>we're
She's possessed, but she's not far gone enough that the merging is total. Go and buy a couple gerry-cans of gasoline, pour them all over the place, and set the house on fire..

>>55360782
Ooooh that right there is a doozy of cat 3 manifestation.

Two paths to go here, no judgement either way parenting is hard.

Option 1. Lure the child in to a prepared secure remote location. You will need to have prepared a shaft that is at least 14 feet deep and lined with pure resonant materials, preferable gold or a silver and jade mix, if you're on a budget you can probably get away with blessed brass as long as you're willing to inscribe some sutras to make up the difference. Over the shaft you have the trap, nice looking play area, ice cream and your hellspawn's favourite kind of live stock. Now to ensure a good seal you're going to need petards above the drop zone to create a strong enough shock wave to force him down, you don't want to trust gravity on this one, and you need to sequence the push charge with some seal charges at the edge of the pit to complete the seal, timing is everything, the explosives aren't there for damage they are precision moving implements. Once you have the little tyke in the pit triple seal, remember that's concrete, lead, concrete, silver, concrete on each of those seals don't skimp on the separation layer. Then lay in a small shrine and a crossroad and that should hold for approx 100 years (ymmv based on local weather and dark cult activity).

Option 2. Now this is trickier and only has a limited success threshold but we've started seeing some decent results from raising cat 3 in a disciplined environment with a supervised controlled diet (Low fat, low sugar, low oil, absolutely no pets) and a strong ethical code, studies show the morality portion is unimportant as long as you set firm rules and are unwavering on them. Now this means no backing down to tantrums, you have to stay strong and roll through the fireballs because if you slide on a rule at all it's now meaningless to them. Ensure you socialise the cat 3, but only in safe, controlled, non-flammable environments.

>>55361446
It's a bit of a longshot but have you tried to do a hard samsaric reboot from his back up in the akashic record?

Depending on how gone he is the entity may have already started retro actively altering his time stamps to changed the perceived history on the length of possession but if you get lucky you might be able to snap him back to a previously uncorrupted state, although he's likely to lose at least five years if the body is already starting to degenerate.

Pro tip. If this works don't forget that your ritual team, and with any luck your friends back up will now be standing in the room with an unconstrained corporeal form of the archdemon, dress and prepare appropriately for this.

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>>55361746
>Something to note, their eyes are (obviously) very sensitive, and can be subject to many unusal diseases. The most common that you'll see is kinda like the cyclops verison of a cold; his eye will fill up with gunk and mucus, and will often become stuck shut as the eyelashes become stuck together.
>This buildup can be cured by pouring eyedrops made of salt water and lemon juice directly into the eye. This doesn't damage the eye, but as one would expect, it hurts like hell.
Salt water and lemon juice. Got it.

>>55361894
How exactly did you end up with a possessed girl in your basement Anon?

>>55361746
And for your own sake screen your optometrists, you do not, I repeat not, want to deal with migraine tantrums just cause some fucko forgot to check his sensitivity on his octerine receptors.

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>>55362216
Well, technically speaking this isn't MY basement. I just stumbled on this cabin after hearing the screams of a girl from an abandoned house I pass by all the time.

I may or may not have been stoned when I found this chick trapped in the basement. Started to undo the chains but decided against it after she grabbed at my legs and started growling like a rabid dog.

Also, there's a weird book laying open on the table. No idea what it says, and I sure as hell ain't touching it to find out.

>>55362036
>but she's not far gone enough that the merging is total
Are you sure about that? It looks like a total merging to me!

I am seriously just considering bugging out here. She's been testing the strength of those chains a lot since I posted this, and I do not want to be around when she finally gets loose.

>>55362350
>Are you sure about that? It looks like a total merging to me!
Fuck, that's bad. If she's powerful enough that it looks like a full merging, but their minds are separate enough that they use plural pronouns, that can only mean one thing: she's a willing posessee.
I recommend you fill that bitch with lead, then you fucking run from that house. As bad as she is now, she's still not done getting worse.

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>>55362204
>It's a bit of a longshot but have you tried to do a hard samsaric reboot from his back up in the akashic record?
I don't want to fuck him up even -more-, Doc. If I did that, I could very well erase his existence from every point on our timestream, or I could just give the possessing entity even greater control over him. It's far too risky.

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>>55362350
>stoned
>weird book on the table
>possessed chick
Oh for fuck's sake, not again!

What is with weed that makes people so willing to read from that damn book!?!

Like >>55362479 said, fill the bitch with as much lead as you can and run like hell.

Fuck it, shoot the book too while you're at it. Might as well make clean-up for me easier.

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>>55362479
>Fuck, that's bad. If she's powerful enough that it looks like a full merging, but their minds are separate enough that they use plural pronouns, that can only mean one thing: she's a willing posessee.
It doesn't actually- have- to be a -willing- possession, nor do plural pronouns being used specifically denote that it's the host and the demon talking at once. There are many demons who are not singular individuals, but are instead Hive-Minds. Whole networks of alien intelligences joined together to devour the souls of the living. It's honestly fascinating to speculate on what could cause such a joining, but honestly? I agree with the other two, you should probably get the hell out of dodge.

>>55362479
>>55362537
>>55362582
Welp, I didn't have any guns on me, so I just jammed an electric carving knife in her mouth knocked her back into the basement, tossed the weird book into the basement before she could get back up and then slammed a bookshelf down on top of it to make sure the basement door stayed shut.

Then I ran like hell.

I'm probably going to have to leave town for awhile now, huh DH/tg/?

>>55362716
Hold up.

You tossed a weird-looking book in the basement with a fully merged possessee?

An entity that may or may not have been SUMMONED by said book?

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>>55362716
>I'm probably going to have to leave town for awhile now, huh DH/tg/?
Probably. I thank luck, It/They will forget about you for the most part, and will just take to plaguing the countryside instead. Who knows. It may just focus it's attention on turning the area around the cabin into an eldritch location instead of chasing you.

There's something very VERY wrong in my house.
My fiancee has been way more, well, ready to go if you catch my meaning. Almost animalistic. Practically rutting. And several of my tools have gone missing, including the spike-hammer I recently had blessed.

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>>55362918
Probably a Succubus. With any luck it's just gestation within her, and hasn't gone full direct control yet. That should give you some time to prep yourself, and to figure out a way to deal with it before it completely consumes her.

>>55362918
>Almost animalistic. Practically rutting.
So are we talking more 'insatiable lust', or is your fiancee really acting more like an animal in this regard? You'll have to elaborate here anon.

The blessed spike-hammer going missing might be a red herring.

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>>55362890
If nothing else it'll make for an interesting day's work for other daemon hunters that come across that cabin...

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>>55363225
It certainly will. Anyway, I need to finish restraining and then exorcising my possessed buddy, and then I need to go check up on my kid. Specifically so that he doesn't get himself into any trouble.

>>55363675
What foul manner of daemonspawn is that abomination?!

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>>55363701
The Crawling Chaos. Something that no rookie Hunter (and even some skilled ones) should -ever- meet. At the very least,not without a full team.

>>55362716
Gimme your co-ordinates, and I swear on my master's grave that I'll have an airstrike called in on that house within the day.

Just, don't ask me how.

>>55363828
Backwoods of northwest Tennessee. Better to airstrike the whole area just to be safe.

>>55363974
Epect large swathes of beautiful, untouched tennessee woodlands to be up in flames by the time you wake up tomorrow.

>>55364280
Wait, before you order that in, make sure there isn't a bunch of wickermen set up in there.
This might be a ploy to finish them up.

>>55367002
Winter driving can be such a bother

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>>55367069
Wickermen...... in Tennessee. Really anon?

How are we sure you're not the entity the other anon ran from trying to save your possessed ass from getting barbecued?

>>55361446
The only 100% sure way to save his soul at this point is death. You're not an exorcist, you're a hunter.

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>>55370439
Well, I've just finished the job, if that's what you're asking. He was laughing throughout the whole thing, burning everything down even as he died. It was horrible.

I...I had to put her down. The love of my life is dead and gone. This life has taken everything from me. The thing that had possessed her was laughing through to the end, even with the hammer's point driven into her chest. And the worst part? It said it wasn't done with me. Like it "wasn't done with me after the fire all those years ago."

Can I even walk away from this anymore? Anyone else have a nemesis?

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>>55372175
>Anyone else have a nemesis?
I'm honestly not sure. The thing that possessed my old bastard friend of an exorcist seemed to indicate that it was rather high on the Demonic totem-ole, and that it would return once it found a "suitable vessel", but I don't consider it to be a nemesis. A great threat, yes. But not something that will actively hound us till the end of our days.

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>>55373102

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>>55372175
Actually, I got you buddy.

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>>55375415

>>55374719
Why? When the wound is still this fresh, why would you do this?

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>>55376310
Because I lost my friend and I need ed something to 'amuse' myself. Also, because you were wallowing in your grief and despair, and that just makes it worse. You need to remember what she was like -before- the possession, and temper your despair into Hate for the thing that took her from you.

Why are chainsaws so goddamn amazing?

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>>55376503
Because they're trusty, reliable, and very good at killing supernatural fuckers when the time comes.

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>>55376503
Chainsaws are one of those "go-to" weapons for when you need something capable of splitting a fucker in half.
>Spoiler quite related

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Well now this is certainly a weird gig.

Um guys, any of you know how to deal with something called a Hachishakusan? A couple just paid me to protect their son from getting abducted by the thing.

Apparently it supposedly like pic related during the day and looks a lot scarier at night.

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Hello /tg/ I'm Pennywise, the dancing clown. Would you like a balloon?

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>>55376978
>Um guys, any of you know how to deal with something called a Hachishakusan?
You're going to need to call up one of the Japanese Branches for that I'm afraid. If you are unable to get in contact with one though, just lock the kid in a room, block all windows, doors, or other spaces the thing could crawl through, and instruct the kid -not- to listen to any voices outside of it. That -should- keep him safe long enough for you to figure out a way to banish the thing.

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>>55372175
Was it worth it? If you could have never met her in the first place, would you have don't anything different? Were all those years together worth it, even if it ended so badly?

If the answer to this is yes, then you can still walk away from this. You can find the peace that eludes you yet. There is still hope for you yet.

You may carry the scars for the rest of your life, but the wounds can be healed - this I swear to you.

>>55377161
Easier said than done. This... woman for lack of a better word, is stalking the kid here in Seattle. Bit far from Japan.

Actually, how the HELL did this one get here in the first place?! I thought Japanese yokai stayed in Japan!

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>>55377344
>Actually, how the HELL did this one get here in the first place?! I thought Japanese yokai stayed in Japan!
Hachishaku is one of those roaming evil spirits I'm afraid. Unless you manage to trap her in a single zone through the use of ancient rituals, or seal her in a confined area from which she can't escape, she will just travel the world and randomly assail young males as she goes. Also be careful. From what I've heard regarding a prior encounter with "her", she's capable of creating Constructs as extensions of her will to attack people.

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>>55377344
Wait, you're in Seattle? That changes things anon.

As the other guy said, lock the kid in a room & block all the entrances she might be able to get in through, and then just wait things out.

If memory serves, a certain tall, thin and faceless eldritch entity's made the western half of Washington state his personal territory and is incredibly violent if he catches others poaching on his turf. I suspect this problem will sort itself out before you have to worry about trying to banish her anon.

There's only a 25% chance the local entity will impale you both on sharp tree branches out in the forest for causing such a ruckus, but it's just an occupational hazard, am I right?

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>>55377592
>If memory serves, a certain tall, thin and faceless eldritch entity's made the western half of Washington state his personal territory and is incredibly violent if he catches others poaching on his turf. I suspect this problem will sort itself out before you have to worry about trying to banish her anon.
Anon, if Gorr' Rylaehotep decides to take an "interest" in things, shit is going to go utterly FUBAR -very- quickly. The Black King is -not- one to fuck with.

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>>55377670
>The Black King is -not- one to fuck with.
No kidding. I've had a couple close calls in that neck of the woods when I was called in to look into 'children disappearing'.

Word to the wise: if anyone in the Seattle Area sends out a call for a demon hunter over a missing children's case, don't take it.

A buddy of mine was foolish enough to try that and... well....

We found him in a tree where he was investigating the last known sighting of the missing kids.

Make that several trees.

Even if Hachishaku can create Constructs like >>55377477 implies, my money is down on ol' Schlankwald if the two cross paths and things get violent.

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>>55378163
>Word to the wise: if anyone in the Seattle Area sends out a call for a demon hunter over a missing children's case, don't take it.
This. The only reason as to -why- the Black King hasn't taken over the world, is because it can't be bothered.

>>55378426
>>55378163
>>55377670
>>55377592
So I'm just supposed to hole up with the kid and wait for this to all blow over? I... I think I can manage that.

Hang on. The Black King aka Fear Dubh aka The Pale One aka The Tall Man likes to hang out in mountainous forests, right? Because there's a bunch of huge ass forest fires going on in the state right now.

Isn't this pushing the Black King in my direction, and probably really agitated right now? I mean, last I checked that guy isn't exactly a fan of fire right?

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>>55378766
>Hang on. The Black King aka Fear Dubh aka The Pale One aka The Tall Man likes to hang out in mountainous forests, right? Because there's a bunch of huge ass forest fires going on in the state right now.
>Isn't this pushing the Black King in my direction, and probably really agitated right now? I mean, last I checked that guy isn't exactly a fan of fire right?
If you catch -any- sign whatsoever that the Black King is advancing towards your location, Run. Just take the family with you, and get the fuck out of dodge. Even the worst fates that Hachishaku could inflict upon you are as NOTHING compared to what the Black King can do.

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>>55357963
Anyone up for Pizza?

>>55379093
>"Anyone up for buying me Pizza"
Fuck you

>>55378766
Unless you're within a short distance (777 cubits to be exact) of a Seraph, then yeah, get the fuck out.

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>>55379093
Dante, everyone who isn't a gullible fool knows that you would just force other people to buy your pizza for you. It didn't work the last time you tried it, and it won't work now.

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>>55379093
Only if you're buying the beer Dante. And none of the cheap booze either. I'm talking top shelf alcohol here!

>>55379093
Eh, I got few extra bucks. Just don't get as drunk as last time. That was awkward.

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>>55379376
>>55379764
Good beer seems to be on the decline these days my friends. It's honestly kind of saddening to think about.

>>55379219
Wait, what the fuck's a cubit?!

Oh screw it, I'm out of here.

I'm not paid nearly enough to deal with Hachishaku AND the Black King.

So... a little bit of advice please DH/tg/.
I wanted to take up the hunting business and found a book that detailed a (what I believe might have been eastern?) practice of binding the essence of more benevolent spirits to your physical body in order to allow you to physically interact and put you on a level slightly above that of humans to aid in hunting.

Now I don't know enough about eastern spirits to be confident trying to successfully converse and reach an agreement with them, so I didn't want to risk it. And I (shamefully) don't know enough about the local dreamtime legends to be willing to attempt that. So I did what I thought would be the safe option and tried to go for an angel. Except, I'm not sure I have actually been talking to an angel.

I panicked when i started piecing it together before I reached the final stage of the ritual and hastily agreed to a temporary contract to put the final stage on hold until tomorrow. The spirit said that when I next wake I need to have my conditions/desires for the contract ready so we can negotiate properly, and negotiations will start the moment I wake up.

Any advice the more experienced have would be appreciated.

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>>55361457
Tantir barada kenda

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>>55381832
Alright, so you tried to call up angel, but the spirit you got -wasn't- actually an angel. Anything that tipped you off about it?

>>55383106
>Anything that tipped you off about it?
It wouldn't shut up asking WHAT DOTH LYFE

>>55381530
A cubit is an informal unit of measurement used in the past; it referred to the approximate length of a man't elbow to the tip of his middle finger.

A Heavenly Cubit, which is how one might measure the protective aura of a Seraph, is an actual defined unit of measurement. Specifically, it is the length of the elbow to the tip of the middle finger for Jacob, Jesus, and Muhammad (who all happened to have the same length cubit).

>>55381832
>>55383121
Find another Hunter (or anyone, really), agree to marry them for a Year and a Day, and take their last name. The name you now have is different to the name you swore under yesterday, so any previous deal is void. You are now free from any obligation to make deals with this being.

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>>55383121
>WHAT DOTH LYFE
Oh, you called up -him-. Well, you got an "angel" at the very least. You just got what is probably the most annoying one.

>>55383302
Mhm. Who knew that Samael, the Angel of Death hiself, would be so... boring.

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...

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Hey guys so this privately funded foundation called me in to save the owners kid in japan and I need help. They mainly want to me help keep her stable till they get back but I'm a professional.

Anyways shes has some kind of fever and apparently she being possessed by something but I'm not seeing shit. Talking to some of the medical staff they say its also a genetic thing cause the whole family apparently is possessed.

Any Ideas if this is some kind of demon or a curse? Or if they are just fucking with me?

>>55383578
What kind of symptoms they have? Maybe it is genetic or mental.
I had this one incident with a schizophreniac. In hindsight I must admit, absinthe is helluva booze.

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>>55383763
Fever, hard breathing almost like she is being choked, sleeps all the time. Part of me wants to say they are bullshiting me but I know I and most likely everyone here has seen some weird shit and I don't want to be a hypocrite.

I really don't want to call in an exorcist we all know how those people can be they dont even they dont even kill the demon once it out of the host

>>55383926
Have you searched their house for more evidence?
If they follow Shinto, it might be harder to say what stuff is weird, but if you find bleeding walls or writing, occult items or books like that one made of human leather, Black Bible, Book of Mormon or something similar.
We can't shoot first and ask later, that didn't work out very well last time.

>>55384176
Ok heres what I found out so far

According to the medical staff she found by one of the guest visiting with the foundations owner (her father) in front of an open fridge but when I went to that room a path of utensils was leading towards the fridge

In one of the guest rooms I saw a stained spot on the floor that appears to be a weird pink dust that seemed to be spilled on the floor

The final room I checked I found some interesting stuff though I found a picture of a hand drawn fly and a encyclopedia about insects along with that I saw multiple weird pictures of a man with what appears to be a pentagram on his shoulder and a deep looking scar along his neck and another photo with the italian word for god.

As I final sweep for clues I checked the trash and found multiple broken cameras

So I'm starting to think they aren't fucking with me but now the question is am I dealing with some cult shit a minion of Beelzebub or some weird Japanese yokai

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>>55384526
>Cameras
Please don't tell me those are vintage cameras? Old, antique things from 19:th/early 20:th century?
Did you find film rolls or glass sheets?

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>>55384991
No no just a bunch of Polaroid cameras
also no glass sheets or film rolls

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>>55385120
That's not helping. I don't know what you are up against.
It sounds either diabolic or it's a ghost, yurei like they say there in nipland.
Usually ghosts are easier to handle, but not in Japan, fuck no. They are almost all violent, hellbent for vengeance and even more unhinged than their western counterparts.
Almost starting to wish it's a demon or few.

I hate this job. It will eventually get us all killed or worse.

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>>55385513
Oh shit well I dont want to stand around to find out should I just go back to america I still have so much of the world to see and demons to slay if this is some personal ancient vendetta between this evil spirit and the family I'm not sure if I want to be caught up in it.

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>>55377592
>>55378426
>This. The only reason as to -why- the Black King hasn't taken over the world, is because it can't be bothered.
"Can't be bothered" is putting it mildly son. I have personally been called to examine the ritual sites of at least 15 different cults who worshiped what the Dämonenjäger division of the Nazi SS referred to as 'Der Ritter'/'Der Schlanker Mann'/'Schlankwald'/'Der Blasse (the Pale One)' in the 20 years' worth of research the Allies recovered at the end of the war. The amount of brutal carnage and dismemberment of the cultists' bodies at each site makes the hell I witnessed 70 years ago fighting the Nazis seem tiny by comparison.

I swear, the faceless sonuvabitch is more violent toward his own 'worshipers' than he is toward any poor bastard that stumbles into his territory by accident. Only exception is for any unfortunate soul he turns into one of his familiars, or what are you kids calling them now? Proxies I think? I retired from the demon hunting business a over a decade ago so I'm not familiar with the latest terms you boys are using nowadays.

I personally ran into the Black King back in World War 2 and got to witness his violent handiwork firsthand. Thought he was going to do the same to me until he dropped a huge grey grimoire in my lap, ordered me to leave 'his forest', and that he would come for his grimoire at a later date. Managed not to soil myself until after I was about a mile away from where I encountered him.

I have seen some really disturbing things in my career as a demon hunter, but nothing has ever topped meeting an almost god-like entity like the Black King.

This Hachisakusan yokai likely has no idea what she's getting herself into. I almost pity the girl. Evil spirit or not, I wouldn't wish being on the receiving end of the Black King's wrath on my worst enemy.

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>>55386060
Those things often don't care who they hurt. Exorcism is greatly recommended.
>>55386672
Sounds like he doesn't like sycophants that try to brownnose their way to get his favor.

Did he fetch his book back? Is it written by him or some poor bastard?

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>>55387134
>Sounds like he doesn't like sycophants that try to brownnose their way to get his favor.
Sort of. The Black King usually presented himself as some sinister nobleman back in the medieval days, so I'd wager treating him as such and not being a cultist worshiper if you run into him by accident might increase your odds of survival (not by much, but anything helps at that point).

>Did he fetch his book back? Is it written by him or some poor bastard?
Hasn't come for it yet (which is mildly terrifying), and I have no idea. My guess are multiple authors and a editor/commentator that writes notes on the margins or crossing out whole lines of information. The entries are all over the place and written in several different languages, but the 'editor' seems to prefer writing in German over anything else.

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>>55387134
>Exorcism is greatly recommended.
I guess I have to give another job to an exorcist.
Oh well I'm looking at another job in Egypt whats the worst I can expect to see there never been before?

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So we all agree the Saracens are evil?

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>>55388578
Please respond I just found this forum through some kind of apparatus those dirty fucking moors had in their fancy schmancy observatory

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>>55357963
have you tried propane?

>>55388765
The devils gas never

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>>55382119

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>>55388765
why would you ever use propane when napalm exists

>>55388457
worst I saw in Egypt was literally anubis
was tracking a death cult, they had a branch in Egypt, turned out summoning a death god in an Egyptian tomb results in a different death god than they intended.
Anubis was mad killed them all brutally. I manged to life via fast talking to e plain I was trying to stop the cultists and passing the heart weighing test.
So make sure your heart weighs less than the feather of truth

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>>55391392
did you get some of that dog puss tho bro?

>>55391483
....................
Anubis manifested as a male
hitting on him would likely have increased my odds of death not decreased

>>55391483
... Are you trying to get the guy killed anon? Seriously. If there's any Egyptian deities you can hit on without increasing your chances of dying, Anubis is not one of them.

Now Bastet on the other hand... She's more likely to hit on YOU, if not just jump your bones without warning if she's in the mood.

>>55392723
>Anubis is not one of them
You'd be surprised. There's a reason his nickname is "the petite mort."

>>55392774
first of all I doubt that
second of all he was ripping the cultists guts out with his bear hands. Not exactly in a fucking kind of mood

>>55392895
I never said he LIKED the nickname. I wouldn't either, if someone gave me a nickname based on my dick size

>>55392928
Say that again, I dare you

>>55393032
1/10th of a cubit!

>>55393137
HATHOR I AM GOING TO HURT YOU NEXT

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>>55392928
Gee I wonder who could've given ol' Jackal face that nickname.
Spoiler possibly related.
Either that or Set was probably being a dick again

>>55393242
Ooh, how kinky.

>>55393305
Yup. That sounds like something she'd do

>>55393305
>>55393504
guys there right here, maybe we should stop talking about them for now
>>55393137
>>55393242
>>55393492

>>55393624
Oh don't mind us! Watching humans mock Anubis is fun for the rest of us!

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>>55394132
WHY DID MR.TWIDDLES JUST SPEAK?!

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>>55393137
>>55393032
>>55393242
>>55393492
>>55394132
>Egyptian gods
I fucking swear the lot of you disgust me to no end. Don't even have giant snakes and trees, just fucking sand and walls to doodle on.

>>55394242
They are technically aliens; it's expected that they act like a bunch of knobs.

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>>55394224
That's MS. TWIDDLES you silly mortal!!

>>55394242
>>55394333
>Egyptian gods are the Australians of the multi-pantheon.

>>55393032
>>55393137
>>55393242
>>55393492
>>55394132
>>55395600
>>55394242

And this, humans, is why I live out in the woods. These so-called gods give me a damned headache.

>>55387512
I did loan one of you demonhunters one of my grimoires, didn't I...

>lycanthropes can be based off of any mammal
>lycanthropes technically exist in a quantum state, with their 'other form' existing 4th-dimensionally
>this higher-dimensional existence allows lycanthropes to interact safely with Eldritch forces
DH/tg/, if my calculations are correct, I can create were-humans, with none of the strengths/drawbacks of lycanthropes, except the impressive immunity to the Eldritch. This is a good idea, right?

>>55399945
>I'll create an army of unstable abominations because I think they might have resistance because I have an unproven theory

What could ever go wrong?
Where the fuck you even pulled that theory and HOW are you planning to create synthetic lycanthrope?

>>55400615
>An army
I'm not THAT reckless. Just one. Just me.
For now, at least.

>HOW are you planning to create synthetic lycanthrope?
I'm not gonna give up all my research, obviously, but I can confirm that the ritual involves (among other things) stolen moon dust from the Apollo missions, Vampire blood-plasma, DNA from a Primevil Giant, and a frozen Neanderthal.
Don't worry, I've tested this out on animals already. I've been able to create mules that are were-horses and mice that are were-rats.

>>55400815
How about their aggression? I don't have any sort of experience with animal lycanthropes, once I encountered a melon vampire, but that's neither werewolf or animal.
But anyway, if their brains seem to work properly, I'd suggest moving to primates. I'm just afraid of what kind of damage could chimp- were-whatever could do.

And did you manage to create mouse-were-mouse or some "turns to itself in full moon" critters?
Do they burn?

>>55401185
Animal lycanthropes are a facinating subject; the "relation" that the base and thropic animal species have can lead to various beneficial and harmful effects.

Basically, the closer the animals are related, the smoother they will merge into a lycanthrope.
When you combine very unrelated animals - like, say, a human and a wolf - you end up with a lycanthrope with (almost) completely separate personalities and memories between its forms. When animals are closer, however, this is drastically reduces.

Here's an example. I have a donkey that becomes a horse every night except during the new moon. For a couple months, I would ride it down one path as a horse, and another as a donkey. Then I lead them down the paths blind, and found that they were sure-footed; they remembered the path. When I switched the paths, I found that they were just as sure-footed. The horse had access to the donkey's memories and the donkey had access to the horse's.

>Do the burn
Yes. They're not affected by silver, however. My tests have shown me that the affect of silver is inversely proportional to the relation of the base and thropic species. My aforementioned werehorse donkey is only slightly uncomfortable by touch of silver to his skin.

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>>55401185
>melon vampire
>melon
>vampire

So... you found a vampiric... fruit?

How is that even possible?

>>55401427
At least that explains why bother with this research instead of just doing like those witches and wearing...
Well, if it would even work in your case, it would start with a murder and butchery.
I fucking hate witches that turn to wolf, but at least they die when shot with silver bullets. And weirder things rip them to shreds without a problem.

>>55402274
You've never been in Balkans, haven't you?
Too many things turn there into vampires, thankfully tools left outside don't.
Oh the melons. They aren't really dangerous, they try to attack, but toothless vampire that breaks apart with a karate chop isn't that scary.
They fight bloody battles against their nemesis, the pumpkin vampires that are similar angry fruits. Neither of them are common anymore, because people just smash them to pieces.

I just was offered safe passage through some werewolf territory if I break bread with them and hello burn out a nest off Lingering Shadow. Instinct says burn them all with silver nitrate but ideally I would like to not have to move out of state... Opinions /dh/?

>>55397357>>55394132>>55393492

Alright that's it
I quit good luck keeping the undead from overwhelming Egypt and the afterlife without me. You could always ask Osiris, oh wait you can't

>>55399945
sounds worth a try, do tell us the results
>>55403489
take the deals you can is my advice or else you'll never get any breaks
>>55402638
I saw vampire bunny once
>>55403832
well fuck this will be bad

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>>55403832
BAD! VERY BAD!

GO BACK TO WEIGHING AND JUDGING THE SOULS OF THE EGYPTIAN DECEASED RIGHT THIS INSTANT

>>55405011
No. Odin has made me a very good offer, I get Hel's job benefits and respect. Good luck dealing with the undead in Egypt without me and good luck with Hel having no job and no constraints so she's raise as much she wants.

>>55405350
Your daddy Osiris is gonna beat you with his crook and flail if you keep misbehaving, Anubis.

>>55405646
Osiris is both not my father and dead now if you'll excuse me there Is a fjord in my future

>>55405689
He is your dad in middle/late-kingdom period, and you're acting as if being dead has ever stopped Osiris before.

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>>55386672
Sounds pretty terrifying. Anyway, I have this this "book" that talks about not -just- the Black King, but also a "Nezperdian hive-mind of Chaos". Anyone here know what it's talking about?

>>55405350
WHAT? HOW DARE THEY REPLACE ME. I WILL DESTROY BOTH YOUR PEOPLE AND THEIRS FOR THIS INSULT

>>55405710
Don't ruin this for me man. If I spent another century with those incompetent gossiping idiots I swear I'm gonna snap. Sure the Norse may be drunks but so is hathor and I'll never have to try to work with a crocodile ever again

>>55407997
fuck off entropy

I know you just want us all to get you mega pregnant so you can birth a new universe

slut

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Al right, so just got back from cleaning my friend's body up, and I'm already getting calls about a "Bunyip" problem from some town a ways off. Can anyone give me some inforation on this thing? It's abilities?

>>55408457
That's dreamtime bullshit man, you've got to pass that along to the professionals.

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>>55406184
>"book"
>"Nezperdian hive-mind of Chaos"
Trust me /dh/, you don't have to worry about that idiot too much. Worst he can do is cause an occasional tear in reality and irreversibly possess people. Keeping that 'guy' trapped in his place is kind of a hobby of mine.

>>55408457
*sigh* I'd advise against trying to deal with anything supernatural related to Australia. Especially if it's dreamtime related.

>>55409053
so, whats gonna happen now that anubis has quit? how does this affect the mortal realm? mummies everywhere?

>>55407058
You realize that bitch has a crush on you, right? Be a man (er, dog) and tell her that your want her hot cow-headed body!

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>>55409092
Nothing's going to happen, because Anubis is not going to quit.
>>55407058
Listen you pitiful excuse for a jackal, you're going to stay in Egypt and keep the undead in line and like it! You leave and I will hunt you down and drag you all the way back to Egypt by your scarab-sized genitalia! UNDERSTAND?

>>55407023
Listen you Norse welp, I've nearly destroyed humanity several times because I was in a bad mood. My breath made the desert.

Go ahead. Just try and destroy my people.

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>>55409325
you wouldn't be trying to threaten the newest member of our pantheon would you? Because I might take issue with that

So /dhtg/ what's that one thing you hate hunting most of all? For me it's the puckwudjiie. These little bastards get stuck in like fucking ticks when they've chosen a haunt. And I swear they breed like rabbits. They're little laughs are infuriating too.

>>55409382
>what's that one thing you hate hunting most of all?
One word: goblins

>>55409382
I am deathly afraid of headless horsemen because of that disney adaptation of the legend of sleepy hollow.

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>>55408605
>>55409053
>Tfw even the Black King *Himself* tells you off about a hunt.
Shit, it's that bad? And here I was with the impression it would just be a village-devouring nasty.

>>55409092
Well, I was going to say you demon hunter types were going to have a huge uptick business, but I think Sekhmet aka 'Before Whom Evil Trembles' aka Mistress of Dread aka Lady of Slaughter aka She Who Mauls aka "one of the most ill-tempered, violent and destructive goddesses in the world" just shut that whole thing down.

>>55409325
>>55409347
I'm a little rusty on my Egyptian god legal system, but last I checked Sekhmet has a part-time gig working as the arbiter in the Judgment Hall of Anubis' dear old dad. I'd wager she's pissed because Anubis didn't fill out the proper resignation forms before he quit the pantheon. Probably.

>>55409899
Do you really think I wouldn't make sure all proper forms were written in triplicate, in rune, hieroglyphic and braille? Because I did and we did.

>>55409966
why braille?

>>55409347
That's amusing Mr. Cuckold, because I don't see them on my desk yet.

NOT THAT I WOULD HAVE APPROVED SUCH A RIDICULOUS ACTION IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

>>55409899
>ill-tempered, violent and destructive goddesses
I'm sorry, is the entity going around actively declining any sort of godhood asking to get mauled? Because he's going to get mauled.

>>55410095
Mr. Cuckold...? Sekhmet, what are you talking about.... Pfftnyahahahaha!! Oh now I remember! Tyr got cuckolded by Loki! I completely forgot about that!

>>55410095
maybe if you didn't spend all your time blackout drunk or in a murderous rage you would notice things like the giant runestone covered in the three years notice. As for your permission yours is not requited, you were preinformed of this impending decision three years ago you just either didn't notice or didn't believe either way its too late, good luck finding another death god.

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I find it immensely odd how there are -so- many deities on here complaining amongst themselves. Shouldn't you guys be trying to fight off Apophis, or Leviathan, or something?

>>55409989
Probably for his blind brother, Hod.

>>55410416
No. Even their old WORSHIPERS said that they were petty assholes.

>>55410169
>too late
Let me make something crystal clear to you, you one-handed invalid:

1. Anubis is an Egyptian god.
2. He's under MY jurisdiction.
3. Therefore, any transfers need MY (or Osiris's) approval!
4. Giant runestones are inadmissible for legal forms. Use papyrus like a civilized deity you filthy barbarian.
5. I AM going to bring Anubis back to Egypt, and if you try and stop me I'll turn Europe into a desert just like I did with the Sahara!

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>>55410562
>I'll turn Europe into a desert just like I did with the Sahara!
LISTEN YOU FURFACED WHELP.

I AM GORR'RYLAEHOTEP.

I WAS A GOD OF EGYPT BEFORE YOUR DEAR FATHER RA EVER EXISTED.

IF YOUR SAND SO MUCH AS TOUCHES MY GERMANIC FORESTS I. WILL. OBLITERATE. YOU. FROM. EXISTENCE.

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR SEHKMET?

>>55410169
And you need to stop antagonizing her. I really, really don't want to be an unbiased mediator between pantheons again, thanks.

>>55410562
>>55410936
Y'all a bunch of whacks, if anyone of your decided to go on a stomping trip, i swear by all that is holy you are going to be impaled by every god killing objects and artifacts that ever existed.

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>>55410559
>Even their old WORSHIPERS said that they were petty assholes.
Yeah, but even so, I would much prefer if their squabbles didn't risk the annihilation of the world. Besides, shouldn't most of them be trying to keep the Adversary from breaching, and eating the cosmos?

>>55411128
>picking a fight with the Black King
>ever

I don't care what you call yourself, picking a fight with Gorr'Rylaehotep is straight-up suicidal. There's a massive difference between an eldritch-entity like the Black King and a common god.

As for someone like Sekhmet... Might work. Or you could just give her the D. That could work too.

>>55411289
>Or you could just give Sekhmet the D
Hehe... you have no idea how accurate this is mortal.

>>55411244
>Adversary
Which one of those are we talking about again?

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>>55360782
Make sure he gets a good breakfast.

>>55411672
>Which one of those are we talking about again?
YHMT, the One over Nothing, the Shimmering Void, the Great Serpent, Father of the Last Silence, Mother of Finality, Brother of YHWH Himself, Slayer of Demiurges, Killer of Time, Star of Shadows, and Lord of all that is Empty and Forgotten.

>>55411787
Uhm... do we really want the fickle pantheon gods worrying about the Adversary and making YHWH's job even more difficult? All it'd take would be one god to go rogue and think ending the cosmos would be a good idea and boom, there goes the universe.

So /dh/, calling in from Khartoum, Sudan, have a bit of a problem a sphinx down here at one of the local villages. Apparently she's not interested in the usual riddle thing...

Wait, why are Bastet, Hathor, Anubis and Sekhmet on here?

Why is Tyr here?

WHAT IN YHWH'S NAME IS THE BLACK KING DOING HERE!?

WHAT DID YOU DO /DH/!?!

>>55412166
Mods being fags/asleep and not banning deities on the spot.

Sphinxes that don't usually do the riddle thing tend to be in heat. You're might have to go full Bard on this one, mate.

>>55412166
Dunno, Black King just started to talk to us.
Might have something about us rather leaving him and his woods alone instead of trying to confront him or worse, worshiping him to get his favor.

>>55411289
I shall stab at thee from the blackest depths to the very void of nothingness, none shall stop the stabs. Even if it wakes the dreamer of reality.

>>55412262
>Dunno, Black King just started to talk to us.
What's that American saying? "Heard you were talking shit?" or something to that effect? It's pretty much that.

The fact that harlot Hachishaku was trying to hunt on my turf helped.

For the record, she's been dealt with. That 8 ft tall 'woman' is going to have, shall we say, a rather awkward gait for awhile.

>>55412214
>Mods being fags/asleep and not banning deities on the spot.
Implying your mods could stop deities from getting access to this forum in the first place.

As for the sphinx thing... yeah, she's definitely in heat if she's not interested in riddles. I would know goddess of sexuality and all that, so... have fun! Hehe!!

Oh, and one last thing: sphinxes have crazy sexual endurance.

>>55412655
>sphinxes have crazy sexual endurance.
Oh hell, I really will have to go full Bard on this one.
-insert 'a cat is fine too' joke here-

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>>55413945

>>55410416
I would point out that if this works then we will postpone Ragnarok indefinitely which will be good for us and mortals
>>55410559 I like you mortal, would you like a boon?
>>55410936
>>55410562
I apologize I lost my temper, Sekhmet I will make this point completely ignore the fact that we are all weaker than we were, not sure you could still do the Sahara trick and that other gods live and Europe and would object the real problem here is this. Sure you can drag Anubis back but you can't make him want to stay and do his job and you cant make him do his job. Honestly forcing Anbuis back will probably just make him try to sabotage the afterlife as much as possible in spite and that would be worse for you.
>>55411244
I'm sorry I dont exaclt have another spare arm to lose binding new monsters and im stretched pretty thin keeping the ones we have bound bound. Your hunters go hunt. Besides do you really think that the solution that say Baster or Freya would come up with would really be desirable from your perspective?

>>55410562
Dear I think you need to calm down. Whatever quarrel you have the Norse, they are not the only pantheon from Europe and I would hate to have to get in a fight.
>>55410936
You should calm down too deary for all that Sekhmet is a wild girl obliteration for her is a bit much, being a loose cannon is in her nature. Just like being frighting to mortals is in yours.

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>>55415689
>Besides do you really think that the solution that say Baster or Freya would come up with would really be desirable from your perspective?
Probably not. They -are- rather insane after all.

>>55415789
>>55415689
oh dear I spelled bastet wrong, hard to type with one hand

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>>55416483

>>55415761
Oh I know Vesta dear. I'm merely reminding her what her place on the food chain is. Especially if she's going to start threatening this magnificent forest. >>55414323

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>>55417345
What do you even -do- Black King, aside from torment the poor fucks who stray into your forests, or the many Earthen Gods forbid, the Path Of Black Leaves? I heard from Pops and some others that you like to play a "Game" with other entities like you. Is this true?

>>55417345
well it is a very nice forest and you are very dangerous. But Sekhmet is too when she really gets focused and I can be when someone makes me really mad. Now sit down,have a Werther's and tell how you've been. Do you like Seattle? Why did you move there? its very different from Germany from what I understand

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This place is where mortal who hunt evil supernatural entities yes?

I just got back from a walkabout through Africa, and apparently there's some big issue down in that icy land you mortals call 'Antarctica'? Something about an ancient stone-city appearing in the Antarctic mountains...

What, why are all these gods here? I mean, I get the Black King dropping in I wouldn't be surprised if he lurks on here just to cure his boredom but, wait...

>>55405689 Anubis, am I going to have come up there and smack a bitch? You get back here this instant jackal-boy.

>>55417652
he's not here right now, he's in Valhalla meeting everyone.

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>>55420713

>>55417652
Osiris deary, how did you get out the afterlife? Maybe it would be wise to go back and pick up Anubis' slack. I think it's a little late to take him back he's already in that dreary old place they call Asgard

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Alright I'm back. And we'll shit has gone to hell it seems. Got the town evacuated before that Bunyip waltzed on through, and my kid is saying he apparently saw pic related waking up taking it's morning stretches. I'm not exactly sure what this may mean for the world at large though.

>>55421827
what would that be doing in australia?

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>>55411968
>Uhm... do we really want the fickle pantheon gods worrying about the Adversary
What's the -worst- that could happen?

Uhh.. good day Sir.

So me and some of my friend took a freelancing job about exterminating some sort of Demonlord... or was it an Undead ? Well anyeay we are supposed to make him dead and by doing so clean the castle.

So, errr... we found soem moving skeletons in the gardens and Pete, my friend, gave one a good whack with his axe, almost cleaved right through it.

Now my question is, aren't those things supposed to become slower when damaged ?
All we achived was attracting it's attention and i bet it would look angry... if it had eyebrows... or a face.
What's up with that bone man ?

I hope you can help us with that good Sir
Sincerly -Cederic

how to have sex with sucubus without demon taint infecting penis thanks

answer plx

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>>55422346
>Now my question is, aren't those things supposed to become slower when damaged ?
>All we achived was attracting it's attention and i bet it would look angry... if it had eyebrows... or a face.
>What's up with that bone man ?
That only works with -zombies- Anon. Skeletons have no ligaments to be torn, or brains to destroy. The only thing that animates them is dark magic, and their hatred for the living.

>>55422452
Thanks Mister, i think i understand.
But is there a notable difference between a meaty skeleton and a skinny zombie ?

Pete and I will do our best to whack those skeletons down into little pieces... i guess.
Also Katy just got bitten by a skeleton, do we need to be worried ?

Also also, it just became foggy, do we need to watch out for something specific in foggy castles owned by ill-defined "demon"-lords ?

Sincerly- Cederic

>>55422452
>>55422660
Skeleton bites are fine
use bludgeoning weapons over bladed
and that's pretty vague but whatever the fog is hiding will be bad

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>>55422260
>what would that be doing in australia?
Don't know, don't care. All I care about right now is getting the hell out of dodge before it wakes up fully, and this place goes down in fire and brimstone.

>>55423116
maybe we should take this to one of the gods that seems to be hanging out here? I might call this out of our league

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>>55423685
Considering that they seem more interested in their petty squabbles? I doubt they will be able to do anything. Maybe one of the other Hunter Branches with more skill in dealing with giant aberrations can take this one?

>>55424008
I'd call that also I god though
gods are generally willing to fight other gods

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>>55424032
>gods are generally willing to fight other gods
Only if you manage other convince them that it would be in their best interest to do so. Otherwise, they will just sit and have their petty little arguments between each other, heedless of whether or not the world burns as a result.

>>55424404
so ask a nice one
tyr's a good sort I think
isn't he mercy and justice?

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>>55424699
>so ask a nice one
>tyr's a good sort I think
>isn't he mercy and justice?
Yes he is, but he's also one of the older gods and likely isn't in the best shape to go toe to toe with a demonic fire elemental, and come out intact.

>>55417432
>What do you even -do- Black King, aside from torment the poor fucks who stray into your forests, or the many Earthen Gods forbid, the Path Of Black Leaves?
That would be telling.

>>55417600
>Do you like Seattle? Why did you move there? its very different from Germany from what I understand
I moved out here to avoid dealing with the idiot human governments during the Cold War when they were trying to hunt me down and 'weaponize my abilities'. Got old after slaughtering the first dozen or so demon hunter units that entered the forest.

As for Seattle itself... surprisingly nice. Especially with the dreary, almost constant cloud coverage.

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>>55425473
>I moved out here to avoid dealing with the idiot human governments during the Cold War when they were trying to hunt me down and 'weaponize my abilities'.
>The government honestly thinking it could control a demonic force on the level of the Black King.
Utterly hilarious. Who knows, maybe they might try to 'harness' the power of the Deadly Sins next.

>>55422430
Blessed condoms.

>>55422430
Do not attempt to waifu the succubus.

>>55426517
>>55426539
wat if it took too long to get this advise nd now my penis is fire

hepl

send smoebody

>>55426593
Well, that's what you get for having sex with a succubus, you moronic excuse for a demon hunter.

What is it with humans and their bizarre need to stick their dicks in everything?

Kind of reminds me of Jupiter, now that I think about it.

>>55426375
Oh, you're here? Good. They need someone of your caliber down in Australia. Seems a volcano's started walking or something insane like that.

>>55426686
The bear went over the mountain to see what he could see.
And man peered deep into the occult to see what he could fuck.

We stared into the abyss with that eye to fuck, and that same urge to fuck stared back at us from the void. Hence the succubus was formed in the image of man's lust.

They are our creation, and to fuck them is our genetic destiny.

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>>55426686
>Oh, you're here? Good. They need someone of your caliber down in Australia. Seems a volcano's started walking or something insane like that.
>.........

>>55426711
....

Yeah, I got nothing to respond to that stupidity other than a strong desire to track you down and impale you for such dumb statement.

>>55427320
Look, I'm not a cultist shill or anything, all I'm saying is that not all demons are that bad.

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>>55427320
What were you expecting, O Dark One? Most of the newbies to this business tend to be really horny teenagers who have no idea of what the fuck they are talking about. I'm amazed some of them even manage to -survive- despite their stupidity.

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>>55427362
>all I'm saying is that not all demons are that bad.
>Being this fucking brainwashed.
Not another one of you lot. I hate having to clean your blood of my clothes every time I cleave you in twain, and what's even worse is just how -many- of you there are. Maybe if you all just stopped thinking with your dicks for a singular unit of time, I wouldn't have to deal with all the tentacles and teeth you inevitably leave behind.

>>55427398
Maybe if you demon hunters could back up your big internet talk with some action, Lord Kazaragaflax wouldn't be fucking your shit up so bad?

Just a thought.

I'm not a cultist btw, just a fellow hunter that realizes we're ineffective, useless, and stupid.

>>55427367
>Most of the newbies to this business tend to be really horny teenagers who have no idea of what the fuck they are talking about.
You have no idea how true this statement is.

I just had a lady demon hunter offer to let me use her body to satisfy myself (yes, in that sense) a few years back. I proceeded to use her organs to decorate one of the nearby trees like a blood-soaked Christmas decorations.

Seriously, who in their right mind thinks THE BLACK KING will be interested in sexual pleasure? Only horny idiots of the highest caliber, that's who.

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>>55427459
>Maybe if you demon hunters could back up your big internet talk with some action
The last time one of you cultist fuckers offered up this challenge, one of our so-called 'Demon-Gods' met a most painful end. You are nothing more than vermin who tear open pathways for your masters, and hope that you will be spared annihilation (or in some cases, be eaten first).

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>>55427492
>The last time one of you cultist fuckers
I'm not a cultist, I'm just trying to get across that demons are born from us to satiate our own desires, so they're not that bad.

Maybe if you dabbled in demonology just a little bit you wouldn't be such a bigot and could open yourself up to some new perspectives a little bit.

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>>55427525
>I'm not a cultist, I'm just trying to get across that demons are born from us to satiate our own desires, so they're not that bad.
If you were actually intelligent and knew your shit, you would know that Demonkind as a whole is -faaaaaaaaaar- older than Mankind, and the war against them has literally lasted for untold -aeons-.

>Maybe if you dabbled in demonology just a little bit you wouldn't be such a bigot and could open yourself up to some new perspectives a little bit.
And if you actually knew even the tiniest bit of -actual- demonology, and not that shit that gets spouted out by the latest pseudo-cultist pansy, you would know that -All- Demons are evil. Even the Black King, by far one of the most polite amongst their number, still counts as evil just by his very nature.

>>55405011
>Spray a coyote with a hose.
If you're in a position where you can do this I can't imagine it going well for you.

>>>/qst/

>>55427553
>implying I'm a Demon.

Technically speaking I'm a ('retired') death god, but if we're referring to all supernatural entities that have some ill intentions towards humans as demons, sure, I suppose you might consider me to be such.

Although I fancy my nature more 'Neutral Evil' than anything else these days...

>>55427582
Coyotes are little bitches. They won't attack anything larger than a chicken. They're solitary "hunters" in that they usually prefer live animals, but they'll eat refuse if that's all they have. Coyotes can be scared away by shouting at them.

>>55425473
those were interesting days weren't they. Im still surprised that no one tried to recruit me. Im may not be the flashiest or even the tenth god yourd think of as dagnerous but as goddess of homes, marriage and community I can ruin a mortals life pretty easily. Also I never suffered from worshiper drop after YWWH became popular, so I didn't weakens as much as say poor Janus

>>55425061
IF I HAD BOTH HANDS ID STRANGLE YOU FOR THAT INSULT. But since I don't ill just prove you wrong! Let me at him! wheres the giant volcano thing?

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>>55427726
>Technically speaking I'm a ('retired') death god, but if we're referring to all supernatural entities that have some ill intentions towards humans as demons, sure, I suppose you might consider me to be such.
I'd ask why you retired, but then I'd have to ask why pic related exists, and I probably don't want the answer to that.

>>55430153
gas masks exists to prevent people from dieing from gas

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>>55430208
>Implying that -thing- is even human, or needs a gas mask.
Anon, that's almost cute in how you assume I'm talking about It's gas mask.

>>55427726
You know, you sound surprisingly chill for... well, yourself. Your posts looks like coming from soneome who doesn't care about anyone and anything as long as they don't bother you or trespass on your piece of the world instead of malevolent eldritch... well, let's be honest, the word is abomination.

>>55430406
your gonna have to give more details than thing in a gasmask before i know what your talking about

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>>55430476
>your gonna have to give more details than thing in a gasmask before i know what your talking about
Well my fellow Hunter, after parsing through -so many- eldritch tomes, I think I can describe this abomination. Basically, imagine if the entirety of a realm that most would consider an 'afterlife' was -alive-, and hated you with every fibre of its being. Now imagine if it cut off a part of itself, and stuffed it into a (mostly) human body that acts as the focal point of an absurd amount of vIle necromantic power. That's basically what it is.

>>55430573
so a walking genus loci of hate and necrotic energy in a human shaped sack?
thats pretty fucked up

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>>55430726
>so a walking genus loci of hate and necrotic energy in a human shaped sack?
>thats pretty fucked up
Yeah, it also gets first dibs on your soul when you die apparently. That is, if another being doesn't lay claim to it first, or the deity you worship doesn't take you to your properly designated afterlife.

>>55430890
that sounds like something the other gods would object to, soul's are a major currency after all

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So, uh...DH/tg/. I'm kinda in need of some assistance.

Despite doing my best to raise my daughter and keep vigilant against any potential demonic corruption, strange things have happened.
For one, she's got a boyfriend, and while that's not odd in and of itself, said boyfriend looks very much like this illustration i found in Haskill Armistice's Guide to the Eldritch and Arcane, except without the mask and with sorta goofy-looking, triangular sharp teeth and complimentary mood-colored glowing eyes.
I can't help but be concerned, i mean yeah, he's saved her from more demons i can count, and he knows his way around a zweihander better than anyone i know, but still...

And the other matter...when she was young, she had this imaginary friend?
Who was also the world?
Or something like that, i still can't figure it out.
I figured, "That's fine, right? A lot of kids her age have imaginary friends."
And few years before she met her BF, she got shot in the chest with this oddly ornate arrow, which didn't leave a mark as far as i could tell, and the garishly-colored nutjob who fired the arrow got away before i could question him, shouting something about hitting the wrong guy and how his master is going to drain him.
Since that, she sometimes, i don't know..."blips" like she just changed poses in a matter of seconds, and sometimes this blip also causes an otherwise healthy boy to bleed from his nose and collapse in a heap, and the next time i see him, he's always covered in bruises.
I already had some mages look into it, and they claim she is somehow stopping time to beat people to a pulp, and they saw some ghostly figure mirror her movements from behind her, only jolting to the front when fighting.
It's freaky. Have i failed as both a devil hunter and a father, DH/tg/? Can anyone provide assistance?

TL;DR: daughter can suddenly stop time, and has both a ghostly real "imaginary" friend and probably an eldritch boyfriend, wat do?

>>55431358
time manipluation is some pretty bad juju
also above my league
If i was you'd id kill her in her sleep to be safe but im also widely considered to be paranoid and insane.
I don't know maybe ask Cronus? The gods seems to be kicking around here a lot lately

>>55431420
I wish i could. But i know for a fact that if i did that and somehow survived my otherwise barren wife's rampage over getting our only daughter killed, i'm sure the god who gives her services to me for free would smite me for trying that. Besides...she is so much devil hunter material, i would not be able to forgive myself for not training her to be the next devil-hunting grandmaster.

I guess i oughta wait and see if Cronus shows up in this thread, i don't see him on the poster names. In the meantime...any port in a storm, aye?


Hey, Vesta, Tyr, all the rest of ya venerated overlords and ladies. I'd like to ask your opinions on this. >>55431358 What do?

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>>55431358
Sounds like something fucky is going on here, Anon. I'd advise you to prepare yourself in case your daughter goes full "Eldritch Demoness" on your ass. I mean, I have a cyclops kid so I know a thing or two about dealing with monstrous children, and I can safely say that mysterious figures with unfathomable powers showing up to court your daughter is likely a sign of bad things.

>>55431567
That's the thing, he hasn't done anything particularly unfathomable yet. Mostly just used a zweihander in that werid swordsdancer combat style where you twirl it across your chest and flick it to cut someone's fingers off, outside of that, he's just an ordinary guy with glowing eyes, sharp teeth and tentacle hair who smells vaguely of the eternally twisted abyss.

>>55431529
deary me that quite the pickle you've got yourself in there. The will have to respond with a counter question, how much do you trust your daughter? That kind of power often drives mortals mad and dangerous. If you truly think your daughter would use such power responsibly than as the goddess of families I think you should trust her.
However she is setting off a whole lot of warning bells and I'd say if you have any reason even if you can't quite name the reason, killing your daughter or un-timemagicing her might be the only solution.
you mortals are better at detecting supernatural wrongness than you realize, you just don't listen yo your instincts enough
it breaks my heart it really does.

>>55431358
>>55431420
SOMEONES DOING WHAT WITH TIME

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>>55431619
>he's just an ordinary guy with glowing eyes, sharp teeth and tentacle hair who smells vaguely of the eternally twisted abyss.
If that's the case, then he might just be a half-demon then, who has taken interest in courting your daughter for some reason. The worst you might have to deal with is having to fight/meet his full demon parents at some point. Try not to have your brain dribble out of your ears.

>>55431780

Mmm. From what i can tell, the spark is there, and while i might be overestimating my skills by a mile, a bit of training and she'd be the best damn devil hunter this side of the Black Stump.
And outside of a few usual young adult rebellious phases, i would call on her to drag me out of hell after a hunting assignment gone awry if she were tough enough to beat down grown ass wrath devils.
Still, if worst comes to pass, i'd like to request sanctuary from the wrath of Juno. She, uh...really likes familial ties. I'd rather not be on the receiving end of her gargantuan mace.

>>55431857
Stopping and starting it to beat up bullies and tugs, i've been told.
Just...whatever you do, don't kill her and most of all don't try to remove her imaginary friend
When the mages tried it three of them got shredded by partially halted time and one turned into a little girl.
And all my little girl complained about was a splitting headache and feeling of loneliness.

>>55431879
Thanks, i'll keep that in mind.
Still feels like he might be closer to eldritch than demonic, there's no tinge of brimstone in his scent...

>>55431982
why of course deary, very nice of you to ask
if juno trys anything Ill be happy to beat that bitch black and blue. Have a werther's

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>>55431982
>Still feels like he might be closer to eldritch than demonic
Demons and Eldritch forces cross over quite a bit. There are so many similarities between the two that it's difficult to discern which is which at times. Probably a result of Demons being Formless masses of void-stuff that 'exist' as facets of the Adversary.

>>55431982
What you think im going to eat her?
Now im just going to take her time powers. That stuffs dangerous in mortal hands.

>>55432093
That's..what i'm worried about. From what i can tell, the powers seem somehow connected to her ghostly friend. I don't know how, but what i do know is if they're forcibly separated, said friend goes on a rampage and she'll feel a splitting headache, and seemingly lose her time power for a while.

Actually...wasn't it your temple what was overrun by those weird devil guys in striped suits trying to bore enemies to death with bureaucracy? I'd appreciate it if you could let her keep her powers and just get soem confirmation on whether or not i should be worried. I'd hazard then we'd be even over taking down that Enma guy.

>>55432091
Hmm. I'll keep an eye on her.

>>55432037
Thank you kindly, although no violence is required. Even should she attempt to end me, we are still in a contract, and i'd rather not be dragged into any ill blood between two deific beings.

>>55432037
>>55432037
damn vesta's hard core

Evening, /hunt/

One of my buddies, gunsmith by the name of Pryce, he comes up to me yesterday and talks to me about some kinda special ordinance for his arquebus. Said something about '"mixing foam with somethin' from the oil derrick and putting it in a hollow shell" and how it was "supposed to burn the skin off of the local imp population." Now don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but sometimes he can be a little...crazy.

This morning I thought I'd enjoy the retired life, tend my ranch and all that, till some shitfaced recruit fresh out of the academy walks up to me with a 'hunter's rosary' asking to test some experimental charges out in my forest. Now I'm no amateur, I did my fifteen years patrolling the Deadwoods and over those years I've acquired a sixth sense for when somebody is about to do something fucking stupid.

I tell this kid no, he can take his dual pistol wielding, 'edgelord of the month club' badge holding, trenchcoat wearing ass out to the shooting range like everybody else. I thought he'd leave, right? Few hours later, I walk out, my entire goddamned forest is on fire and that kid is nowhere to be found.

So I got just one question for you, /hunt/

Which one of you fucks went hunting with napalm rounds?

>>55432630

Strange, that sounds like something my stepbrother Dhuron would do...

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>>55432630
>Which one of you fucks went hunting with napalm rounds?
Can't say it was me. I live in fucking Australia for Christ's sake. Besides, I'm currently dealing with a little 'situation' over here.

>>55432864
didn't Tyr charge off to go kill it?

>>55393305
>Set
>being a dick

Isn't that his default setting?

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>>55430419
>You know, you sound surprisingly chill for... well, yourself. Your posts looks like coming from soneome who doesn't care about anyone and anything as long as they don't bother you or trespass on your piece of the world instead of malevolent eldritch... well, let's be honest, the word is abomination.
It's mostly because I'm speaking to you mortals through this amusing human invention called the internet more than anything else. Trust me, I'm usually nowhere near this chill in person (for obvious reasons).

>>55430153
>I'd ask why you retired, but then I'd have to ask why pic related exists, and I probably don't want the answer to that.
Technically I didn't "retire" so much as people found other gods to worship/fear. Not that I particularly mind since I hate brown-nosing cultists morons and terrorizing humanity as a 'god' gets a bit old if you've been since the pre-caveman days Did you really think it was just nocturnal predators are why humans have such a primal fear of the dark and the unknown? As for that walking sack of eldritch hate, last I heard it the result of the The Yellow King getting bored and messing around with the 'collective sentience' of the afterlife. If you want the technical details, go ask Osiris or Pluto. I'm a 'death god', not a 'god of the dead'.

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>>55432985
>As for that walking sack of eldritch hate, last I heard it the result of the The Yellow King getting bored and messing around with the 'collective sentience' of the afterlife. If you want the technical details, go ask Osiris or Pluto. I'm a 'death god', not a 'god of the dead'.
Where Osiris and Pluto drunk off their asses? Who would -ever- let The Yellow King get access to the land of the dead? That's just asking for bad shit to happen.

>>55432985
>>55430153
it's a thing
i'd explain but you lack the vocab and senses to understand

>>55433086
that's actually closer to the truth than you really want to know

>>55431982
>i'd like to request sanctuary from the wrath of Juno.
>Juno provides her services to a mortal for free
>Juno
>aiding a mortal
>ESPECIALLY FOR FREE

Wait, what? Last I checked Juno was more antagonistic toward mortals after all of Jupiter's... ahem... rendezvous with so many mortals.

>>55433773
it doesn't sound very much like juno does it
maybe its some other goddess pretending to be Juno because no one has heard of her?

>>55433773
Er...are we talking of the same Juno? The one i know and can neither confirm nor deny rescuing from the clutches of an amorous underworld goddess three words away from a full blown yandere breakdown is a goddess of family, love and, uh, freedom for some reason.
Then again, Vesta could have a very valid point. but if it walks like a Juno, and talks like a Juno...

>>55434165
you see deary, Juno is a goddess of marriage and family like me. But while I'm more about the aspects of the community shes more about the oath of monogamy. She is married to Jupiter and is famously Jealous. Jupiter theoretically shouldn't sleep around but we does so and so she makes the more mortal woman who caught Jupiter's eye a living hell. So we find it very odd that she would have a man on the side so to speak.

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Finally figure out how to use the search function on this 'internet' device (fascinating device. Mortal communication systems are developing quicker than I anticipated. Good job humanity!) and what do I find? A bunch of so-called 'demon hunters' talking about me, which is weird, since I've laying low for awhile now.

Wait, why are so many deities in this forum? Am I late to the human technological party again? I can understand Gorr'rylaehotep interacting with mortals (Gorr'ry's always been an odd nut), but Tyr, Vesta, Cronus, Sekhmet, Bastet, Hathor, Anubis and Osiris? This is highly confusing

>>55433086
>Who would -ever- let The Yellow King get access to the land of the dead?
... Honestly, if I tried to explain it you in text form every mortal viewing this forum would experience spontaneous head exploding syndrome. That or spontaneous combustion. Possibly both.

>>55433108
As I recall, you were off banging Hathor or Bastet or something while I was down there, and last I checked guarding the afterlife when Osiris is away is part of YOUR job. Going doggy-style on goddess clearly out of your league is NOT.

Side note: didn't that goddess dump you for Cerberus instead because Pluto's guard dog "has a bigger member", to put it politely?

>>55434299
Huh. You wouldn't happen to be extraplanar entities, would you? Because the Juno i know is single. I know right, a single family goddess?
Then again, maybe i'm just not on the up and up regarding goddesses and it's not Juno after all.
...hmm. Vesta, you wouldn't know of a girl called Desele, would you?
Subtitle Abandoned Queen, wears an ebony plated dress, talks to everyone like she's in love, explodes violently at any sign of untwistable rejection?

>>55434485
Oh. Hey, Nyarly. Say, this Toby fellow wouldn't be one of yours, would he? He' s been courting my daughter (full story at >>55431358) and i'd like some word from the non-euclidean direction to confirm whether or not he's bad news.

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>>55434525
>Oh, Hey, Nyarly
That's not the Crawling Chaos, my friend. That's the Yellow King. Slightly less malign compared to Mr N, but no less vile and terrible.

>>55426865
Always a pleasure to see a professional at work.

>>55422660
>>55422346
And young ones trying to do their part.

>>55434597
Well, in my defence, i have been trying to read up on eldritch beings trying to figure out what Toby is, but my question still stands.

>>55434485

Sir Yellow, is Toby your people and is he bad news?

>>55432973
>Set
>Isn't that his default setting?
Oh you have no idea.

>>55434498
>Subtitle Abandoned Queen, wears an ebony plated dress, talks to everyone like she's in love, explodes violently at any sign of untwistable rejection?

Yeah... that doesn't sound at all like the Juno I've heard about. I think you might be getting deceived mortal.

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>>55434610
>Always a pleasure to see a professional at work.
Hmph.

>>55434485
>Gorr'ry
What is it with you and coming up with weird nicknames for the rest of us?

>>55434660
>Sir Yellow, is Toby your people and is he bad news?
Not the Yellow idiot, but this Toby sounds like he's an young eldritch entity, or at least an avatar of one. You'll have to go into more detail before I could tell you what his intentions are.

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>>55434660
>Sir Yellow, is Toby your people and is he bad news?
Lessee here... triangular sharp teeth, mood-colored eyes glowing eyes, tentacle-hair, Victorian-ish fashion sense, uses a zweihander......

Sounds like an Eldritch entity to me. At a wild guess, he's probably more interested in your daughter's timestopping ability than your daughter herself. Probably neutral leaning toward malign, but unlikely to be something near myself or The Black King.

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Alright DH/tg/. I need you to give me every name for the Great Adversary you have right now. Ithe is for important research.

>>55434485
I am very much sick of this slander, I wouldn't touch hathor or bastet with a 200 cubit pole
and im not guarding the afterlife because I quit!

>>55434954
Less demons, more aliens.
But a honorable but unrelated profession anyway.

>>55434498
>>55434944
that doens't sound juno at all
if shes not a petty vindictive bitch its not juno.
>>55435103
I don't know but I've gotten very used to being called mary

>>55434944
Er...I was describing Desele. The underworld Goddess who i saved Juno from. which led to Juno giving me her services for free for a time.

>>55435103
Okay, so. Most has been told in my initial post, but a tl;dr is in order, so here's a greentext bulletpoint list.

>tentacle hair
>glowing eyes that change color with current mood
>goofy, cartoonish triangular sharp teeth.
>fond of flashing toothy, jovial grins at anything funny or anytime he approves of something.
>jovial and mellow overall
>does sword dancing with a zweihander.
>showed up abouts four or five years after that incident with the arrow and the time stop.
>Seems to prefer being considered an average guy despite appearances.
>No eldritch powers prominently displayed.
>Vague scent of eternal, twisted abyss, neither tinges of brimstone nor burnt paper
>Staged repeated, often successful, rescues of my daughter.
>Flips between victorian-era fashion and weird, outback-ish flanel shirts and acid-washed jeans depending on how serious the event is.
>Concerned for our wellbeing.
>mimics instruments perfectly with his voice - daughter heartily approves of this.
>Drinks inordinate amounts of coffee
>Mentioned he's a certified alchemist and artificer.
>Mostly visits at intervals of 3-4 days, frequents the tavern.
>Villager reactions vary from polite smiles to near-brotherly teasing and jovial conversation. Very trusted.

>>55435297
Hmm, oughta keep an eye on him too, then.

>>55435378
Where i'm from, he's called Saatana. So there.

Anyways, i gotta go. Apparently one of my buddie's buddy has gotten drunk again and staged a public reading of eldritch manuscripts. Probably another all-nighter. I'll hit the board up tomorrow morning if it's still up.