Anyone have the time and patience to teach a fucking idiot

>>55354903
no

What's the problem?

>>55354903
Have you read the books yet?

http://dnd.wizards.com/products/tabletop/players-basic-rules

If you don't have the patience to slog through the book yourself, you don't have the patience to actually play that shitty system.

You act like it's difficult to teach an idiot to play. I'm pretty sure the game is played exclusively by idiots.

>>55356863
>>55357719
>the contrarian trolls emerge

I love that just two letters and an ampersand are enough to trigger you little bitches.

>>55357756
Why is it that when someone is triggered, they start calling everyone else triggered?

>>55357756
Oh look it's the Eternally Triggered Bitch-Anon.

>>55357780
>>55357820
>>55356863
>>55357719

/v/ermin, leave. You don't even play roleplaying games. You just force memes.

>>55357857
I just came to have a civil discussion about D&D and you're acting like I'm attacking you. Don't be so childish.

>>55357719
>>55356863
>>55356717
>>55356728

Not OP, but most people ironically enough can't really 'learn' something from just reading a book alone- they can't connect the information they're given or contextualize it, they need someone else who's played it or done it to make sense of things or better yet just do it themselves with someones help.

I remember when I first played settlers of cattan the rules were being explained to the rest of our group by the one person who actually knew how to play it and he went on for what felt like 10 minutes and it all sounded like complete fucking nonsense, but once we actually started playing the game we quickly understood what to do in a matter of minutes.

>>55354903
>Anyone have the time and patience to teach a fucking idiot how to play d&d?

Op, you might have better luck just going to a hobby/game store and finding a public group to play with- just skim the basic rules from one of their store-bought sessions/games and go from there.

>>55357884
>Wah, stop triggering me, wah

You trolls are so pathetic. Here's hoping the mods wise up and just hand you the bans you crave.

>>55357780
It's an easy out and they've got nothing to lose. Indeed, their jimmies are shimmied already, getting into an internet fight over it sounds like a fantastic idea.

>>55354903
What do you want to know? "Play D&D" is a pretty broad category.

>>55354903
Hi eric

>>55357756
Lol
So much this.^^

>>55354903
Sure man. What kind of platform would you be hoping for? I know 4e like the back of my hand, 5e enough to teach you with some shakiness. I've played 3.5e once or twice. The rest are out of the picture, as I don't have the books.

>>55358004
Is very much right. Try public outings first, the people there tend to be autistic as all hell, but good at being autistic. They'll get you the rules.

>>55354903
You start by charging your phone (you really don't want to run out of energy mid-game), when at table you browse picture galleries of silly cats in funny hats with a boredom drawn all over your face (extra points for yawning, slightly discontent sighs, resting your head on hand), when GM (the fuckface behind a big-ass folding picture of a dragon) tell you it's your "turn", you go with "Yeah, I attack him or whatever" (The important part is not flinching your eyes to the actual table, they should be firmly looking at the phone screen).

>>55354903
Lots of people if you have the right attitude, DM's dont give a flying fuck about if you can memorize the range and effect of every wizard spell and never make a mistake, they care about your willingness to go along with the story theyre trying to tell and your ability to put a fun spin on the experience

File: Did you read the book.png (514KB, 500x572px) Image search: [Google]

514KB, 500x572px

Did you read the book?

File: DnDPaint.png (48KB, 734x797px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 734x797px

>>55354903
Use this.

File: keep-calm-and-read-the-fucking-manual.png (43KB, 800x700px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 800x700px

>>55354903
>Anyone have the time and patience to teach a fucking idiot how to play d&d?

1. Get the core books for your preferred game system. If you're dead set on D&D and not any other fantasy RPG, then pick the latest edition (5th). Fifth edition is the most modernized and playable version of D&D.

2. Read the books carefully. Especially the "how to play roleplaying games" bits. Those are helpful for newbies.

3. If you still need help or clarification, return again with specific questions. Well-informed internet strangers will not put in the work to teach you unless you clearly demonstrate that you are putting in the work to learn.

>>55362289
>recing 5th over 2nd