You're in a tavern and this guy slaps your party healer's

>>55349501
My party healer is a fat drunken dwarf that worships the god of booze and bar fights.
I run, I run like hell.

So did he just give us a free healer, or what is going on?

>>55349501
I'm the one playing the party healer. I'll try to pursuade the murderhobos I'm with not to kill the poor sod, but one of them will probably have the offending hand torn off before I can get halfway through my plea.
If he's lucky I'll manage to calm them down in time to save his life and limbs.

>>55349548
>A rather dapper gentleman saunters up to your party, weaving through people in the crowded tavern.
>As he approaches, he declares himself your party's healer and then slaps himself on the ass.

>>55349501
Wait for the ass animal instincts to activate and kick that guy in the balls

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>>55349501
Time to practice medicine.

>>55349501
Well, we're a Deathwatch kill-team and our apothecary Brother Tillius is perfectly capable of handling this himself. I don't like the odds for the man with the cane.

>>55349501
I, the party healer, tells him to fuck off.

>>55349501
Is he rich?

We give our healer to him. Time for that cunt to earn some dosh and be useful.

As the party healer i'd offer to suck his penor in exange of payment, as i usually do.

Jaw meet power klaw. Ork docs is da best!

Ours is frighteningly effective.

>>55349501
Our party healer bites his hand off (Gnolls) and then our party persuade her to make poor man a replacement metal arm

Conflict of any kind makes my autistic drow erupt into a panic attack

>>55349548
>>55349587
>A rather dapper gentleman saunters up to your party, weaving through people in the crowded tavern.
>As he approaches, he slaps your PC on the ass and you explode into confetti
>as it falls, you have become a 5'3 healer who is tsundere for the entire party

>>55349501
>party doesn't have a healer
>slaps our druid on the ass because he always prepares at least one goodberry and that's as close as we're gonna get
>druid is confused, and probably was sitting on the back of a 9' tall ape
>as the duo turns around and towers over the man they immediate freak the fuck out and ask him where he got his clothes
>gorilla picks him up and starts pulling at his jacket and shit

he fucked up

>>55349501
>dapperman slaps the 7' tall dragonman on the ass
>sip drink while watching dapperman discover how far he can be thrown across a crowded tavern before having acid spit on his face

>>55350516
Only bitchboi betas can be healers

>>55350534
What strange universe do you hail from.

>>55350534
/v/ pls go

>>55349501
nothing, the healer can heal himself

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>>55349501
Closest to healer in our party is noble paladin. She would slap back and possibly demand formal apology.

>>55349501
Our healer is a priestess of the devil queen of misandry and we're a high level party full of full casters in one of those caster supremacy systems. We watch very bad things happen to dapperman.

>>55349501
Our healer is an ancient Kislevite crone, she'll probably hex him.

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>>55350445
... (male) ?

>>55349501
Depends on where he's from, the healer's culture has very harsh punishments on fornication with outsiders. If he's from the same place as the healer, she's happy to see another and they probably bang (they're rare in this part of the world and she's been adventuring a long time). If not then it's a matter of who reacts first and he's either shot or set on fire.

>>55350673
player discretion

>>55349501
Wonder why my surgeon followed me to a random tavern and why she let her boyfriend over dress that hard in a fucking bar. For real, who are they trying to impress? We get it, you're a successful Doctor, he has old money. I pull heads off of shoulders for a living, the crew and I couldn't possibly care less.

depending on how hard he slaps her ass he might break his hand on her cold Steel buns, and takes 2d8 lightning damage, if he lives the gnome might do some wierd druidic shit to him for being an "obstinant propigator of the imperial unbalancing of the material plane deserving of an infinitely more grevius retaliation than minor electricution."

The Sorcerer turns him into a chicken and the Warlock send him to the Beastlands.

>>55349501
I am a part of two campaigns...

>Low level good party
Our healer, a witch, puts him to sleep with a hex. At this point the brawler will likely pick him up and toss him through the window.

>High level evil party
I'm the healer. I'm also a lich, I don't really have an ass to slap. In any case, the man is either plane shifted, enervated or disintegrated.

The Paladin is new to this land and is confused as to whether it would be proper to be insulted. He'll probably just leave after dropping his spaghetti.

>>55349501
Raise an eyebrow, take another sip o' drank, and tell the healer "I think he likes you."

Our healer has a bit of anxiety so I'd stay within audio distance in case he creeps her out or gets aggressive, but if/when it seems the proverbial deal has been sealed I'd probably go back to my own thing.

She's a good kid. Deserves to have a dapper gentleman every now and again.

We gangbang our Halfling healer regularly and once rented her out to a band of orcs to stop them from attacking a village. This guy looks pretty wealthy so we ask him how much he is willing to pay.