The king has contacted you to find a bring his son home, he was

>>55305214
Your fae wife has a penis.

>>55305236
"Yes, and?"

>>55305214

Tell him that his dad needs a wedding too, even if it's just a mock wedding because they're already married, not to mention he would love to meet his new relatives and allies.

>>55305255
I touched it & did everything I can to it before you even met her. Did you notice my smell?

>>55305214
Too bad, I promised the king I'll get you back, and I'll do it by force if necessary.

>>55305214
Explain that he is happy for the lad but his father is worried sick about him and would like to know he is ok. Why not visit with his new wife to help start a relationship between the two kingdoms then return?

>>55305214
Knock him out and bring him back? i'm not paid for anything more

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>>55305214
I knock his ass out and haul him back home to get paid.

Afterwards, I offer the prince to escort him back in exchange for more money.

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>>55305214
Fuse the material world and the Fey world into one.

>>55305522
> So, adventurer. What's the next step in your master plan?
>Crashing this Fey plane, with no survivors.

>>55305214

Use a magic charm to reveal the Fae wife for the horrible monster she really is.

>>55305675
I see what you did there.

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>>55305214
>The knight sent on a quest to retrieve the king's son is actually a female knight who's been in love with him for as long as she has served the king

>>55305387
>>55305389
>>55305405
Looks like the king will have to send more adventurers in these three cases.

I give him an ultimatum, he and his wife can come back with me or he come back with a hired my Hogoblin army and visit the ashes of his betrothed's forest.

>>55305214
Kills Fae and brings him home

>>55305388
This fellow gets it.
And that fae bloodline is definitely one of the strongest bloodlines, even among fae.

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>>55307257

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>>55305965
Did you just assume the entire fae court teleported behind the party with katanas?

>>55305835
Your charm reveals the terrible evil of the king's son.

>>55305214
>What does your PC do to convince him?
Kidnap him starting the fae-human war. The casualties would be in the tens of millions.

>>55305214
Hit his skull with a stone and bring his unconscious body home.
Sell his wife to a brothel too

>>55305214
Polymorph him into something portable and kill his fae queen.
After that we alter his memory into thinking the fae kidnapped him for ransome.

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Most likely kill his newly wedded wife and/or family and drag him screaming back to his dad and tell his father about the bewitching fae and how they planned to consume his son.

Seriously, I have no patience for whiny tantrum throwing NPCS, you help me in my quest, or you're a hindrance. If you're a hindrance, I hate fuck you until you're not. It's boring, but I can't stand trying to white knight every quest while getting shat on by ungrateful NPCS. A lot of these threads I see are like that.

>>55307742
You're the ones that challenged the fairies in their own realm.

>>55305388
Mine breathren of afroamerican descent. Jokes aside though, this is actually the more sensible choice that, if done right, would greatly benefit the kingdom both in short and long term.

>>55308221
That guy spotted.

>>55306441
So your solution to a problem with fairies is to bring in more fairies?

>>55305214
This is quite possibly one of the most OOC arts of Cirno I ever seen.

>>55308221
>Literally trying to kill a Fae princess in her home realm surrounded by other Fae servants

>>55308329
Could be a crossover with TES, considering that dude just became a Knight of the (9)

>>55308464
see >>55307417

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>>55308416
>>55308257
Anon, I don't know how to tell you this, but adventurers aren't chumps who are there do die to your OC donut steel. Killing liches, vampires, dragons, fey and other uppity shits is their job descriptions. Those are things they do every day.

>>55308697
If you think you can get out of fairyland after violently violated sacred hospitality be my guest, just don't get mad at your GM if you get your shit pushed in for it.

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>>55308329
I don't know, Cirno strikes me as the sort that would appreciate a strong man, if you will.

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>>55308697
>Genuinely believing that adventurers have the capacity to face the Fae in their own realm directly whatsoever.
Enjoy getting turned into an eternally screaming cum-bucket, Anon.

>>55308697
>PCs should be able to do anything without risk of repose even if they're doing something monumentally stupid
That's why every GM lets them cleave the orb of annihilation in twine with their greatsword!

>>55308697
If you're strong enough to 1-shot the fey kingdom, I don't see what this quest has to offer you in the first place.

>>55308813
Cirno is a hyperactive goblin that, once given exceptional power in the new game, wants to take over the world. I could see her falling for a knight totally, but her being a timid and cute little girl is hilariously OOC to me.

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>>55305214
A fist in the face. We're a spec-ops unit, not a fucking ambassador group. Would probably burn a city or two to cover their escape.
>inb4 muh war and moral
Why would a king ask a set of walking nuclear bombs to do a delicate operation in that case? Also Fae are cunts so it's win-win.

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>>55308844
I think the print works state that she has a soft spot and cries relatively easily. Even if she's a muscle-head, I don't think she actually knows how to act stoic and would act cute if given the required stimuli.

>>55308915
Sure, but her acting exceptionally passive is what's funny to me - she's basically the opposite whenever she actually shows up in works, especially compared to some of the other Fairies. Once again, i feel the need to re-emphasize that once given a power up (and a suntan!) her immediate instinct was to try and take over Gensokyo.

>>55308912
You better hope your guns shoot iron, otherwise yer fucked, my lad.

>>55308912
Aren't there types of fae that can straight up kill anybody instantly by calling their name? I don't see how a spec-ops group would be able to handle their strongest unless they brought copious amounts of iron weapons.

>>55305214
'Kiddo I literally do not give a shit about any of this. Love who you want. You still need to go home and speak to your dad.

Shit, a marital alliance with the fae would probably be a great boon in his eyes! I'll help convince him that this is the best case scenario, if it helps me get paid.'

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>>55305214
I forget about my original quest and dedicate all my attention to eradicating the fucking fairies. It won't be easy, and it won't be done in a day, I'll likely need to bring outside help too, but it's what must be done.
Fey are not merely a remnant of a bygone era, they are parasites, actively preying upon mortals. This is why we burned their forests and chased them off into their hidden magic castles thousands of years ago, but what did you know, turns out if you want to get rid of the weeds, you need to pull up by the roots.

Jesus, I hate those little fuckers. We've made the mistake of dealing with them like people before. Never again.

>>55309012
Yes. Dullahan. Most appearances of fiction leave out this aspect of them and just make them sword-wielding headless people, which is odd since they actually used whips made out of a human spine. They also usually drove a wagon, not just a horse, and it was explicitly adorned with funerary symbolism such as skulls and candles. Unseelie can look pretty metal.

>>55308697
Sure, through trickery, guile and derring do.

Declaring war on the fae, while you are standing in the middle of a fae kingdom, surrounded by fae and in the presence of a fae royal, is none of those things.

Remember: There are no stupid adventurers.

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>>55308990
>>55309012
>their guns aren't iron
low energy desu

But seriously though, a couple of high-level adventures with the orders to fuck shit up and do the mission at all cost would manage that handily. Summoning demons, terror missions, explosions, civil war instigations. People just assume that the group would just go through the main palace gate and attack the Fae king or whatever.

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>>55308697
>GM's response

>>55309086
Discovering that the prince has courted the fey and invading the fey kingdom are mutually exclusive - by the time you figure out the plot you're already in the middle of their territory.

>>55309084
>There are no stupid adventurers.

Addendum "That are still alive"

>>55305214
Abduct the Fae for a change.

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Post best Fairies.

>>55309141
But nobody would go in there and tell everyone there "yeah, we're killing you". Why would anyone assume that? When people are talking about taking on their kingdom, they're not talking about declaring an open war against them, they probably don't even intend to do anything beyond forceful extraction of the target/covering their tracks.

>>55307798
well, they should seperate either way.
I get paid, problem solved.

>>55309203
I remember when I leashed one of these bad boys on my group. Their reactions were quite strong in the "what the fuck" territory, especially as they had mostly been dealing with more conventional or at least humanoid fairies previously.

>>55309206
If you try to pull this shit in my game, I will find whatever excuse needed to wipe out your party as quickly as possible.
Fey are not meant to be defeated in such way. If you want to complete your quest, pledge your service to one of the courts and work your way to freeing the prince with intrigue. But you are probably too dumb to even try it, HFY dumbshit.

I run for the hills and tell the king his son didn't make it, no way in hell am I dealing with fey.

>>55305214
Morr, is that you?

>>55309169
That... That was the implication, yeah.

Remember, anon

Subtle

>>55309206
You're kind of assuming you'd be the only ones with the element of surprise
>Burn some seaweed in your completely unjustified terrorism spree
>Suddenly a massive flayed human with a single glowing eye fused with an equally skinless horse monster rises from the ocean and belches on you, infecting you with 7 different kinds of plague
That's how Fey be.

>>55308697
the kind of adventurers that do errands for kings dont stand a chance

the kind that do stand a chance wouldnt bother, they have more important things to do- like being god

>>55309334
Well, maybe running errands for a more powerful god.

>>55309367
the kind of god who could order around the kind of people who can walk into the middle of a fey court and steal the betrothed prince and kill the princess would just look at the plane the fey are on and annihilate it

>>55309393
Wouldn't that be boring, though? Just send in these new adventurer gods and see what they do, they've been pretty entertaining so far.

>>55309038
This anon gets it. Fucking DMs thinking their anime Fae are all cute when their entire thing is tricking innocent kids and fucking humans over.

I will join your guerrilla war against them anon.


>>55309203
This is more how I like fae, give them the fucked up scary aspect, not cute faeries. Maybe a bit more colourful but more fucked up than cute grills in big dresses, I'm thinking more Hive from Destiny here.

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>>55309242
>how would you do it?
>I'll do it like this
>reeeeeee, that's now what I had in mind, fuck you for trying to have fun
Also, HFY? Seriously?

>>55309445
The Fae are both. There are humanoid ones and there are ones like the Nuckelavee or Redcap. Just like that, there are Evil ones like the Unseelie, or moderately less evil but still evil ones like the Seelie.

>>55309304
It's kinda hard to assume anything, because of op being a faggot and not specifying shit. They might as well be tooth fay from hellboy for all we know.

>>55309206
>you find out X
>we do Y
>Y is stupid
>well obviously we dont just do Y, we do Y before getting to the part where we know X

and even assuming you decide "lets do a violent extraction"- thats the equivalent of breaking into heaven/hell in terms of "must be this epic level to ride"

>>55309511
That's true, I'm just secretly trying to make more people know about some of the extremely interesting Fae entities shown in mythology.

>>55309454
Not everyone who disagrees with you is OP cunt, I'm OP, he's not.

>>55305214
Depends on the king's reward. The fae are ageless entities brimming with power while this guy's presumably just a normal human. I'll need a hefty reward to even REMOTELY consider trying to get him back. If I had significant incentive, though, I don't think I'd try a violent extraction. I'd either attempt to convince him to come back, and if that fails, contact whichever faery court this one has a rivalry with, if possible, they'd hopefully be receptive to granting assistance in order to fuck up their rival.

>>55309526
In which world some random fey court is as important and difficult as Hell?

>>55309608
This distinction, even in real-life mythological research papers, is kind of hilarious to me since over on the fae side you have dudes like Balor One-Eye who can kill you with a stare while on the demon side you have Stolas, The Tall Bird That Teaches You The Biologies.

>>55309608
because they are the nature equivalent of angels/demons?

evil has hells
good has heavens
neutral has the fey

or at least thats how i do it

>>55309511
Don't think I remember those. They forcibly pull out your teeth and build houses for themselves out of them?

>>55309242

He's a dumbshit but not HFY. HFY would probably try and out scheme the fae cause they're HFY. This one's a murderhobo.

>>55309699
>You can't fight the fey
>You can't scheme against the fey
What the fuck do you want PCs to do, lube their anuses and bend over?

>>55309677

They're the swarm of monsters that buried themselves into people and ate through shit like a chipmunk.

>>55309699
Tricking Fae is very common in fairy tales. trying to kill them forcibly usually results in death in fairy tales. You can't have them be invincible to both, that's just unfair.

>>55309713
Negotiate. It's a role-playing encounter.

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>>55309531
You should probably try killing yourself instead.
>>55309526
>you find out X
Nigger I didn't find out shit. I told you that most groups would be smart about how would they go about creating chaos and doing their job.
But of course it ends up in "nuh-uh, you have to do things MY way". What's the point in players if you're going to remove a fun option that can work if played smart? Of course it wouldn't, if your fay are omniscient and omnipresent, but than what's even the fucking point, because there's gonna be a giant railroad involved anyway. And of course every player is just dying to meet another of GM's "great and unique" characters that would hog attention and suck player involvement out of it. Nobody wants your polititcal plot because it sucks, Steven, not because we're murderhobos.

>>55309713
you can do both of those things, but not inside of the court

>you can fight demons
>you cant invade hell and expect to win

>you can fight angels
>you cant expect to invade heaven and win

>you can fight fey
>you cant invade their plane and expect to win

as for tricking them its another matter, if you are clever enough then yes

>>55309737
>Nigger I didn't find out shit. I told you that most groups would be smart about how would they go about creating chaos and doing their job.
the OP scenario says you find out X

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>>55309733
>playing "convince the DM"

>>55309726
>trying to kill them forcibly usually results in death in fairy tales
That's because fairy tales were invented by Joe the Miller, who's afraid of the forest, dark and his liege lord, and his stories reflect that. They are cautionary tales about being uppity.
In Russia, we have our own fairies to justify all sorts of retarded behaviour and laziness, including "Don't work at noon" fairy that will snap your neck if you work at noon if you're doing it for money, but will help you if you're forced to do it by your superior.

>>55309713

Not be retards.

>>55309737
Since the OP explicitly states you journey to the realm and discover this directly, you'd naturally have to actually interact with the Fae court when you arrive. As such, they'd probably present a meal as a showing of sacred hospitality, which in most cases the Fae treat very, very seriously - of course, we all know what Fairy food does, yes? Do you accept their meal, and if you don't what do you do? Please show me your supposed cleverness when it comes to dealing with these scenarios.

>>55309737
>Nigger I didn't find out shit.
Not the guy you replied to, but you did find out the prince went and got married to a fae princess. OP said as much. And at that point I at least would default to negotiations/trade, definitely not to brute force like those posters earlier in the reply chain.

>>55309726

I never said HFY wouldn't succeed. Just murderhobo in the middle of Fae plane wouldn't.

>>55309821
A fantastic answer, dipshit.

>>55309785
Well, if you have a shit DM, I pity you. You don't even need a great one, an adequate one can pull it off.

>>55309645

Ironic seeing as how Demons were essentially amoral interdimensional mercenaries and fae were the ones who kidnap kids, rape strangers, topple kingdoms and massacre villages.

>>55309899
they stepped on a flower or something

ITS JUSTIFIED

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>>55309824
>>55309841
We only know the gist of it. What kind of fae are we dealing with? How did the players find out the fact? What's the paying side's position on fae? What's a "fae realm" in that setting?
It's only natural to assume the worst and go in prepared and through the back door. But of course, if the fae are omnipotent than it's all pointless and we should either get railroaded by the gm into his "wonderful" npcs or just leave the table. And judging by >>55309821
it's safe to assume that we're dealing with the OC donutsteel kind.

>>55305214
Tell him his duty to his people comes before some otherworldly bug. If he doesn't listen I take him by force

>>55308972
In all fairness, her being able to freeze danmaku is a fuck-off huge power-up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztOGvd-mv30

>>55309975
You have a technical point, yet you refused to show any of the actual talent you boasted of when I presented you with a scenario that had actual information (regarding the sacred hospitality and fairy food, which if you've read any fairy tale you'd know traps you in their world forever).

>>55310012
>not even giving the choice of how the players enter the fae realm, and railroading them straight into a scripted social encounter.
You sure showed me.
>>55309877
Then who's a good DM? People in this thread that argue for OCdonutsteel fae and railroading?

>>55309975
Judging by OP's pic, it's one of two options for which fae you're dealing with.
1. The winter court. inb4 CARLOS!
2. Gensokyo.
If it's the former, you can probably figure something out.
If it's the latter... Just leave... Nothing good will come of pissing off those residents, and the prince is probably going to be youkai chow sooner or later.

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>>55310064

mfw retards walk into an RP encounter and try to cut their way out

>>55310094
Judging by OP pick it's Cirno hugging a knight. Might as well post a pic of Kira and ask how would players deal with mages.

Lets take away the fantasy and make this more mundane, say:
>The king has contacted you to find a bring his son home, he was last seen walking into the woods following a blue light.
>After an arduous journey and long boring talks of eleven rules and politics concerning a foreign human nation, you found the lad has vecome wed to a princess and fefuses to go home.
>What does your PC do to convince him?
If you answered with >>55308221, lets see how many guards you can mow down with your adventurer before being turned into a pincushion blackbeard style OR if you somehow manage to make it out alive with the clearly defiant prince how the king will respond when you declared war on a foreign nation on his behalf. You'll be lucky if you're merely boxed and sent to the foreign dignitairies for execution as a sign of goodwill. Even if we're assuming they're all Cirno-level and physically weaker than man, a kingdom is a whole lot of fucking people. You couldn't kill them all in the reasonable span of a campaign by yourself.

If you're a wizard or other non-martial class, you already have a better solution to this scenario or you wouldn't have gotten this far in the first place.

>>55310012
Not that anon, but I wouldn't write you any answer whatsoever either. Your tone was clearly hostile, and whatever answer he came up with, you would not accept. You're not here for a debate or for reasonable discussion.

>>55310108
>walk
More like
>people get railroaded into a shitty social interaction made by a terrible DM and want none of his shit

>>55310142
If you hate it then why not leave the table?

>>55310129
Making them humans instead of fairies changes everything, anon. For starters, we can be reasonably sure he wasn't brainwashed into loving his waifu, and that he probably did it out of his own will. We can also assume that the king and the princess are honorable people, who will abide by laws and traditions governing human socities, as opposed to inhuman tricksters who can not be negotiated with without fucking yourself over.

>>55310173
The retard probably tried to fight the table.

>>55310255
What hardness does 2 inches of oak have again?

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>>55310173
I would never play with mentally challenged people to begin with.

>>55310331
Well then why are you in the thread if you hate the premise given to you?

>>55310466
So you go out of your way, not to try and make something out of a failure of a thread but instead insult the person who failed?

>>55310466
Not that guy, but it seems like you've had some really bad experiences in the past and are pretty biased because of them. I know this is just anecdotal and might not mean much, but a powerful NPC doesn't always mean things have to suck for the players, and the DM is not always a faggot, even though OP is.

>>55305388
Probably this honestly.

>>55305214
>I unleash my bardic prowess and seduce him to make him return, but I fuck the fae princess afterwards.

>>55309758
>Can't fight demons in hell
RIP
AND
TEAR

>>55308760
ive been listening to a game like yours, it really sucks when you GM is just NOTHING CAN BE GOOD. its like theyre playing warhammer grimderp fantasy.everything has to be detrimental to the players.

>>55310527
What worries me about that is you have to be careful how you word it. You invite them into the kings house and you better make sure you're not inviting them to the whole damn kingdom.

>>55310773
If you idea of diplomacy is "I stab the king lol" I can see you seem to have such a bad time.

>>55309035
>>55305388
>bring the kid and his fairy wife back
>manage to foster friendly relations, as a result or in spite of this union
>Eventually, the two kingdoms become friendly and further down the road they become one and the same thing, due to lineage of the royal family
>Fairies are a normal thing now
>Eventually, due to some contract with the fae or something, newly born babies of both species are paired at birth
>To help foster further friendly relations and cement the relationship of the two kingdoms or something, i dunno
>Kingdom becomes kokiri forest without the evil part of it and the staying young indefinitely thing

I don't see why anyone wouldn't want this. Are you saying you DON'T want a cute little fairy friend to help you with all your endeavors throughout life? maybe even romance them, if you so please?

I see no downsides to this.

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>>55309758
>He can't take heaven by violence
What a pleb.

>>55309242
>Fey are not meant to be defeated in such way

By ordinary people, sure. But in settings with "high level adventurers" for whom tearing rifts into spacetime and punching out shoggoths is just another tuesday...

>you can only solve the quest MY way
We turn around and look for a better quest.

>>55310500
yes
>>55310519
>doesn't always mean things have to suck for the players
judging by "DMs" present in this thread, my assumptions are true.

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>>55309758
>you cant invade hell and expect to win
>you cant expect to invade heaven and win

>>55310872
>I stab the king lol
nice strawman, fag. Pls quote anyone in this thread that claimed to attack the king personally.

>>55311383

>>55307896
>>55308221
>>55309038
>>55309086
All say to attack/kill the fae princess who married the prince the party is looking for. One of them says to attack the fae king.

I left out the ones that say to knock out the prince or left it vague along the lines of "take him by force", there's upwards of half a dozen of those posts.

So, yeah... Some people here really do seem to think that "stab the king" is a viable form of diplomacy. At least regarding fae.

>>55311784
At least one of those people wanted to start a guerrilla war because they hate fae. It's not that they think this is diplomacy, they just don't want to be diplomatic with backstabbing fae. Some people don't care about the quest.

I'd just go the talking route myself but it's certainly not the only way.

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>>5530521
>mfw evil party
We've exterminated fae before. One of our party members is a warlock that is actually feared by them due to the fact that he likes to use their parts when he dabbles in alchemy. We'll give him two choices.
Option A: The prince can come willingly, we get paid, and he's free to run off again with his wife at his leisure when we roll out to avoid us being paid to stop him. No one gets hurt.
Option B: He can make it difficult and be dropped in a broken heap on his father's doorstep with whatever pieces of his wife the warlock didn't have a use for in a box, we patch him up so his dad won't get angry, collect our fee and split.

>>55305214
One question, has the prince already been betrothed to someone else to ensure some convoluted political alliance?

>No
Go home and tell/convince the king that he's the luckiest father-in-law in the world. The prince has married a princess of the fae. That means he's in line for the throne. That means that due to the united houses although they have a claim on your land, now you have a claim on theirs. Go full Habsburg. If the fae complain point out that they always expect us to follow their rules that we see nonsensical, why should they not be expected to follow our ridiculous marriage rules. Fae tend to be rules lawyers, but they tend to follow the letter of the rules in the first place.

If immortality is an issue, it's likely that the princess has some manner of making the prince immortal (something like that always tends to happen in these stories) so the kid can afford to play the long game. If not, hey, there's a new job opening up some room at the top if you're evil-aligned.

Once the prince is convinced his father will no longer send teams of adventurers to drag him back, he might visit more often.

>Yes
Well then I guess we're just fucked then aren't we.

My current party is a group of Siegeball players. We challenge the fey to a game. If we win, the Prince will come back with us. If while away from the fey, the prince seems to un-enchantedly love the fey princess, we'll put in a good word with his father in hopes he'll allow the marriage.

>>55309824
We'd offer to provide our own gift of food to the fey, in honor of meeting fey royalty. Then we'd go out and hunt up some food from the forest that wasn't fey food and eat that at the fey dinner, apologizing for our 'delicate' constitutions.

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>>55309038
Amen.

I raze the King's kingdom first since apparently I'm strong enough to kill the entire fey court from >>55308221 and then I raze the fey Kingdom as the next stop. Afterward, I start my own Kingdom, with blackjack, and hookers.

>>55305214
Well, first, we trick the fae by saying the king sent us to carry out the wedding ceremony as is human custom, which first involves gagging the groom and hauling him off back to his father?
If anyone interferes we snap their necks and claim they broke the rules of the wedding. Nothing bad will come after this because random violence on arbitrary rules broken is just how fae do things.

The fae princess can come along to but she needs to have her wings removed. We also trick her into eating human food so she can never return to the fae realm (to tell them she's become the prince's mistress or possibly fuck toy).

That's how you do things the fae way.

>>55305214
>The king has contacted you to find a bring his son home, he was last seen walking into the woods following a blue light.
>After an arduous journey and long boring talks of eleven rules and politics concerning Fae, you find that the lad has become wed to a princess of the fae and refuses to go home.
>What does your PC do to convince him?
we go to the local pope/caliph equivalent and inform him that this kingdom is in kohoods with demons living in that forest over there
millions die, cities are raised and forests burn
but in the end vile demons go extinct and we got a bunch of exp

>>55305214

>bring his son home

What kind of fag rescues a prince? I turn the quest down and find a king with more respect for my profession.

>>55305214
Well, first I report to the king.
It's possible that this will work out. Who doesn't like an alliance with batshit strong dudes?

If the king doubles down and insists I bring his son home, I go out, then try to convince the kid to go see his dad. If that works, great. If not, I take stock of the approximate power of the fey realm I'm in. If it looks weak enough, I go round up some homies and start a fey BBQ. With cold iron tongs.

If it looks stronger, I tell the king this is going to take some time, but I can do it. If he says no, then I decline the job. If he says yes, I move on to the next plan.
I secure wagons. Tons of wagons, and begin collecting and hauling the kingdom's garbage, especially any industrial waste, to the area nearby this access point to the fey realm. I begin a waste disposal service to nearby kingdoms and haul their garbage to this site. I make each kingdom sign a contract stating that the garbage must be removed, and that it must be transported to this location. I ensure to use lots of poisonous chemicals to kill off any scavengers that would feed on this bounty. Eventually, the Fey will start feeling the effects of this mountain of trash and death and start poking their heads out. In an ideal scenario, Fey trickle out a little at a time, and we can gank them, then hide them in the pile. If too many come out at once, we invite them to a party on garbage mountain. At some point, we either manage to extract the prince, or else give up and abandon the quest, except with a tidy profit earned from removing so much garbage and a wizard can figure it out.

>>55305214
put the entire fae kingdom to the torch. slaughter its inhabitants. I fucking hate fairies

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>>55315892
>fae are really good at fucking over other fae
No wonder they all act so evil. To be the one doing the fucking is just the best way in their culture to not get fucked over.

>>55309242
Punching fey with magical cold iron knuckles until they die is a perfectly acceptable means of dealing with the problem at hand.
Reasoning and playing political intrigue with a species/faction/planar club literally built on nonsensical laws and rules with harsh punishments is simply illogical, and is a trap those inexperienced with dealing with fey would fall into.
Fey are not meant to be reasoned with. That's the fucking point of fey. They are fickle, unreasonable spirit entities. Unless you can somehow make them all piss themselves in terror (unlikely, they are all fucking weirdos), you are not getting anywhere with them, and no amount of pretending to be the mad hatter is going to make your insisted solution any more reasonable than blanket extermination, or a quick, shock-and-awe extraction. Honestly, it's better to just fuck fey entirely, don't even poke that particular hornet's nest, but this is assuming they need to be dealt with and can't just be avoided.

>>55305214
Your wife is 60 years old and frigid.

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>>55305214
I'm gonna summon the angel to help slove this problem

>>55305214
Kidnap him, ask additional payment for killing fey princess and cure his affiction.

Convince the Fae princess that her husband will wither and die outside of his own people.
Propose a solution in the form of fusing their two palaces so they can tend to the needs of the fae kingdom and the human one at the same time, maybe a by day by night kinda situation.

Sure it'll inevitably implode in a magnificent way as the fae and the mortals intermingle, but that ain't my problem.
Kick that can down the road and onwards we go.

>>55311784
We just do what are we get our paying from. If i was smart and know diplomacy thing i work in some whitey tower far from death and danger.

>>55309242
The fey are almost as gay as you lmao

>>55317010
Is OP a fey being?

>>55305388
I was going to write something along these lines, but you already covered it. Well done!

>>55317032
Although instead I would have suggested that the father visit the fairy realm, to avoid an obvious possible complication. Although thinking about it, it might cause a worse problem if the father refused to return likewise.

>>55307798

Yeah, but it's normal, mortal evil. Not the evil soul-sucking malice that is fey. He'll come back home.

>>55308813
Is there a page that has the cirno knights because I remember drawing the original

>>55305214
Drag him back by force. I came to this covered head to toe in cold iron plate for a reason

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>>55308329
It was made by a drawfag on an imageboard which used Cirno as a mascot and the poster name on /b/. As a result, she is frequently used as a default character for any picture there, even if it's not very fitting for her personality.

>>55318063
CbIPHO HE 6AKA

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>>55320300
Voistinu ne baka!