That DM thread

>>55239180
I'm waiting on the tgtards that claim "since the dm works hard to build a setting, the players should stick to his plot"

>3 sessions in
>under normal intervals, that is AT LEAST 3 days
>nobody in the group said "so when does the high adventure start"
yeah nah the DM is a fag but your group is a bunch of non-confrontational babies with a chronic fear of communication

>>55239347
>nobody in the group said "so when does the high adventure start"
We asked him this after session one and he insisted he was building to it
>3 sessions in
>under normal intervals, that is AT LEAST 3 days
Actually he specifically mentioned that several days passed in between session.
He already knew what we wanted out of the game. If he couldn't hook us within 3 sessions then he's failed as a DM

>shadowrun 5e
>few sessions in, we're trying to stop a biker gang for a reason I don't remember
>party member has the idea to put up some wire across trees to kill them as they drive through
>DM agrees to it
>said party member stands in the open, baiting them
>DM states that the biker gang speeds up towards him
>1 or 2 bikers get decapitated by the wire
>The rest STOP instantly
>1 of them pulls out a grenade launcher and fires it at someone and kills them instantly
>we all argue that was bullshit and the DM retcons it to have all but 1 of them all decapitated by the wire

>>55239738
>dm makes a mistake
>players address the mistake
>dm fixes the mistake
Not really a That DM, then...

>>55239180
Next time he puts the characters against someone with a knife, all of them should just fucking run. Participate in no combat where anyone has a bladed weapon. Cite PTSD. Retire in the countryside.

File: Wizards_65713c_354294.jpg (35KB, 203x293px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 203x293px

>>55239180
>>DM holds session 0 and says he wants to do a political intrigue based campaign
Your DM actually said he wanted to run a game based on a /tg/ meme?

>>55239180
>characters get PTSD for killing someone in self-defense
>in D&D
I don't even

>>55239180
Had one start taking his clothes off during a monologue. All of us left by the time he started tugging at his pants.

>Join a D&D game at FLGS
>There's about ten other players, DM is an older man who looks a lot like Gary Gygax
>Party's around level 4
>Given a quest by an old wizard, he wants us to go to an island and find a magical box
>To get there we have to go to an abandoned house and get a swan boat feather token
By the way, there was no buying or making magic items in this campaign. PCs only had the magic items the DM saw fit to give, which were almost all potions and scrolls. Even though we're playing 3.5, where the math assumes PCs will have level-appropriate magical equipment.
>Outside the house we're attacked by two "Cambrians" (I think he meant Cambions)
>Notice that the DM doesn't have any notes, or books, or laptops, or anything. All of the stats for anything are "from memory"
>Someone casts grease, one of the "Cambrians" casts Black Tentacles, DM makes joke about the grappled PC (whose player is like 15) getting hentai raped by greasy tentacles
>Anyway, we defeat the monsters and go inside the house
>It's pitch black, supernatural darkness. We have absolutely nothing that can cut through it
>There's also a whole bunch of will o' wisps, way more than we could be expected to fight even if we weren't blind
>They're also immune to non-magic weapons (we don't have magic weapons)
>But then
>One of the PCs uses an item that casts Dispel Magic
>DM rules that, as creatures of magic, the wisps cease to exist
>it also causes all the scrolls and potions to become useless paper and water
>you know, like Mordenkainen's Disjunction, a 9th level spell, is supposed to do
>not Dispel Magic
>whatever
>we find the feather token, it turns into the boat, we get in and we're off
That was the end of the first session, will continue later if I feel like it

>>55241122
Wait.. the DM started undressing or the NPC? That's a very important distinction to make

>playing a 5e game
>In town, DM describes us encountering four belligerent men in a tavern demanding people go find someone in town for them, "or else."
>We don't attack them, they've technically not done anything illegal
>we go to the NPC they are looking for and hide him just in case, we stay to protect him
>Later that night the four men start smashing shit and acting belligerent
>We stay where we are, saying we are in a big city and the city watch is more than equipped to deal with four drunk assholes
>City guard takes them out easily and arrests them
>"What's your guys' alignments?"
>"Well since you're good and didn't act to stop the bad guys you all take an alignment hit and a negative level."

>>55241254
The DM. The NPC was a stoic elf priest rambling on about how their village was enchanted.

>sitting around in a drafty cold house
>I and my brother were 20s, other gamers are a bunch of 40-50s fags
>playing some totally custom setting
>making characters out of a big ass Character Creation binder
>finally 2 hours later have my character ready
>wait around even more while the current party fucks around in a dungeon, waiting to be introduced
>finally can join the party with my character waking up naked ina prison cell, wow so fun
>the instant I put my token down the DM declare that an enemy archer had a held action and shoots me
>my guy wasn't wearing a "curboillee" because of being a prisoner?
>archer one-shots my guy before I have had even 1 actual turn
>every other old fag gamers think this is hilarious
>we eventually leave after midnight, none of them notice or care

lesson learned, don't play with faggy old grogs who don't give a shit

>>55239180
I'll take things that never happened for $200 Alex

>>55239738
He should have had all of the following bikers roll to skid to a stop under the wire with the ones further away stopping normally.
His baddies get that action movie under a truck moment, makes them seem more intimidating (or awful depending on how many actually make it).
Grenade launcher gets put on the back burner to avoid friendly fire netting the pcs a temporary tactical advantage.

How hard would that have been.

>>55239180
Honestly, the worst "That GM" story I have is with a guy who made an interesting but abnormal High Fantasy cosmology, didn't explain it well, and got annoyed when people were slow in catching on to things.

I don't understand why anyone would play with some of the horror stories stated here.

>>55241401
Why did you play with them on the first place. They clearly wanted you out.

>That Guy of the group wants to run oWoD
>We all hesitate, but allow him to
>He tells us about the world
>Near future
>Post-apocalypse
>Masquerade is down
>Openly Vampire Pope
>Megacorps of varying supernatural levels rule the world
>We figure that this is a beat-em-up campaign
>We build ridiculously overpowered characters
>5th-gen Vampires that have 8 turns a round and 20+ dice to hit
>Mages with multiple five-dot spheres out of character creation (the rest were at three or four)
>Werewolves with basically every gift
>This was done to show him that he was making a mistake giving us all this power
>He gave us more power in return
>Still clutching on to the hope that this would at least be fun in a dumb way
>He has a known problem with railroading and solving his own encounters for us
>We have told him this, he has acknowledged this
>Me and That Guy have the "why your character is with the party" chat
>My character, at his insistence, has been in torpor for a century
>Watched over by the Salubri
>I am a Nosferatu
>I wake up and am immediately told to head to New York
>I ask about New York
>"It's run by the Technocracy."
>The whole city?
>"Yes."
>Why would I ever go there?
>"I am the head of Famous_Family. You will work for me."
>I have been in a coma for a century.
>I have never heard of you or your family.
>You are just some woman, telling a 1920's man to head into a city owned by people I don't like.
>Give me one good reason to listen to you.
>"She reveals herself as Lilith."
>...That Lilith?
>"Yes."

This conversation was in a Denny's a week before the campaign even started.
Our freedom of choice was... limited in that campaign.

>>55241674
Met some kids in school that were going there afterward and we tagged along.

>>55241814
>WoD
>Denny's
Yup.

>>55241332
that's not exactly a typical "that DM" friendo i think your DM was a pervert.

>>55241401
why didn't you then grab the character sheet, edit it to have a "curboillee" and then say it was your last character's identical twin brother.

>>55242143
Wasn't my friend, probably was a pervert, though. Guy who knew him didn't talk about him after that.

>>55241926
You just reminded me of the first time I saw him DM a small scene at that Denny's.
To be fair, he prefaced this with "You're going to hate me."
I was not involved, only a witness.
This was the only part of his campaign I saw (which ended immediately after).

>The character was Level 23 or something in a D&D 3.5 campaign
>Magic-psionic hybrid that crafted their own spells and powers
>Travelling around some flying steampunk city
>Suddenly, BBEG starts beaming messages directly into PC's mind
>PC travels to orphanage to protect children from evil
>Suddenly, magic restraints appear on PC's legs
>"I teleport out of them."
>Nope.
>"Dispel Magic."
>Nope.
>"Psionics to destroy them."
>Nope.
>DM describes BBEG sacrificing orphans
>PC does last-resort spell, crafted by player to destroy entire plane
>Summons Orb of Annihilation in front of self
>Orb starts growing, as per spell
>Orb stops growing, not as per spell
>Orb starts shrinking, exactly opposite to spell
>Second Orb appears behind player, starts growing
>Passes through player
>Grows, destroys entire plane
>Plane is remade exactly as it was
>suspicions_confirmed.bmp
>BBEG owns and controls entire plane
>PC gives up at this point
>BBEG kidnaps PC, removes brain
>Puts brain in anti-magic, anti-psionic Warforged headcase
>Body still alive, controlled by BBEG
>Warforged still controlled by BBEG
>Body still has all magic and psionic powers, memories, etc.

No dice were rolled for this entire scene.
Thankfully, he was one of the few players who didn't have an ongoing campaign.
We would occasionally throw him a bone, and hope he improved.
He didn't.

File: 5b13fb1ef813c0749b0796185a20df3a--character-portraits-character-art.jpg (99KB, 736x943px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 736x943px

>a friend convinces me and another friend to sit down to a game
>had a campaign that he had been planning for a year but couldn't find players
>wouldn't tell us anything except we were going to be level 15 in D&D 3.0
>I make a halfling bard
>my friend is playing a monk, and the friend that convinced us to join is playing some four-armed four-sword wielding character with a sidekick under his control
>session starts with "roll initiative!"
>we're fighting a mind flayer, he immediately attempts to mind control me to force me to set myself on fire
>four-arm player reveals he can fly, grapples mind flayer and flies into the sky with him
>mind flayer can fly too, they start going at it dbz style in the sky
>suddenly a purple worm shows up and swallows me
>i use gaseous form to avoid death, ask if i can escape through the massive worms pores or something, anything
>DM says I squeeze through the pores and am crushed to death
>"I'm gas."
>he folds his arms and says that he guesses I'm alive
>worm leaps into the air and also swallows dbz fighters
>the mindflayer dies and the four-armed player immediately goes for the purple worm, kills him in one hit
>the monk was just standing there the whole time, I float down and join him
>"Oh yeah, by the way, there is a massive army surrounding you guys."
>four-armed player asks if he can see how big the army is from his vantage point
>"So big you see no end to them, also they teleported in that's why you didn't notice them before."
>suddenly our magic doesn't work anymore, the DM explains that in his setting there is a giant tree that moves one inch per year and it casts a massive dispel magic field that you can't avoid and it just walked close enough to affect us
>"Well we move an inch farther away."
>"No you can't do that, also the army kills you you're all dead."

The DM later revealed he was punishing us because his initial "roll initiative" was just a joke, and we weren't supposed to roll. We were 20, he was in his 30's.

File: 1492155769851.jpg (49KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 640x480px

>>55243577
>The DM later revealed he was punishing us because his initial "roll initiative" was just a joke, and we weren't supposed to roll
what the fuck

>>55243642
He revealed that after we told him we wouldn't come back for another session. I think it was just supposed to be a plea to win us back, somehow.

>>55241814

>>Denny's

Fernando?

>>55243577
>suddenly our magic doesn't work anymore, the DM explains that in his setting there is a giant tree that moves one inch per year and it casts a massive dispel magic field that you can't avoid and it just walked close enough to affect us
>"Well we move an inch farther away."

Hah. Made me laugh

>>55243577

None of this makes sense. Is there something we are missing? Or was this dmed in middle school regardless of the aged stated.

>>55244687
I was confused the whole session. Things kept jumping around and the guy playing the four armed character had clearly been colluding with the DM to make his character super awesome. But yes, the DM had a middle school mentality.

>>55239180
You can still get your combat in, anon

Just boot party your way through his bitch empire

>>55239738
how is that a
>that DM
see >>55239773

>>55244687
He was pretty clearly fucking with them like he said he was (come on, the tree thing is a dead giveaway) but that doesn't justify it.

>>55241277
that's actually retarded

>>55241926
Stereotypes always prove true.

>>55241277
They called the cops? That's a perfect idea for especially low leveled characters

>>55245147
We technically weren't even near the bar where it was occurring. We could just hear commotion outside. One of the players went to look and the guys were already fighting several guardsmen. When he told us what he saw, that's when we said we just stay put.

>>55245175
Even better.

>>55245175
That's still odd that he docked you guys alignment and level. I'm not sure there's a way you could have been more proactive other than leaping in like he wanted and killing the drunks, but that doesn't seem that Good either, since they're drunk. Protecting the guy and letting the guards handle it is fine. More key, single actions don't change your alignment, otherwise any Evil character would shift up whenever they decided to not pickpocket the first person they saw.

File: sleep is for the weak.jpg (27KB, 576x384px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 576x384px

I told this one recently, it's an oldie but a goodie.
>3.5 campaign.
>DM loved to have us get attacked in the middle of the night if we slept outside.
>We could literally be in an abandoned cave with no creatures for 50 miles and somehow a creature would sneak up and attack us in the middle of the night.
>Finally get to a town, pay for a room, don't want to take any chances of sleeping outside.
>Go to room and sleep.
>"Make a saving throw"
"Um... Ok?"
>The party gets attacked in this inn by some giant insect for no reason (and somehow got inside quietly?), innkeeper and other residents sleep fine and aren't attacked.
>Go to next town, it's a big town with a fancy 5 story inn.
"I tell the inn keeper to book me the room on the top floor, I'm not taking any chances"
>Pay 15 gold to sleep one night.
>"Make a saving throw"
"What?... Ok..."
>Get attacked in the middle of the night by a wererat.
>This random wererat decided to climb up 5 stories and through my window just to attack me.

I don't even know why we kept getting attacked in the middle of the night, it was only us who ever got attacked (no NPCs were attacked ever) and there was no plot reason behind it.

>>55245312
He was also pissed that we didn't attack them for being threatening in the first place. Which would have been the opposite of good. Later he said that he normally wouldn't have docked us for not helping, but two players were lawful good, so they basically had to help. I don't miss that DM or his games.

File: fang.jpg (156KB, 430x720px) Image search: [Google]

156KB, 430x720px

>>55243577
Alright, so this is a great batshit DM story, but
>in this setting there is a giant tree that moves on inch per year and it casts a massive dispel magic field
this seems kind of neat, actually

>>55239180
lazy. Can we get some actual story time going?

>>55246360
Sure, but it will only affect things that can't leave the area. That does mean that for many years there will be a section of your world that has to be mundane until the tree moves far enough away, which could be cool, but it would be bullshit for the game Anon was in.

>>55246506
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. I'd also make the field a good deal smaller.
>the Tree's anti-magic aura begins enroaching on the grounds of an arcane research institution
>everybody's working overtime to see if they can't figure out how to divert it, what chopping it down would do to the local/global mana ecosystem, etc
It just feels weird enough to work

>>55246551
You just have a stupid idea cool. Good job Anon. I like it.

>>55243577
>"crush the gas"
>teleporting protoss army
>magic moving tree

lmfao

>>55246501
^^this

>>55241332
>the elf's village was a magical realm

>>55246501

Back before I became permaDM, we'd rotate dms. Once a player (Chris we shall call him), was killed when his thief charged a guard tower, took two arrow hits and then got his head crushed by a dropped rock as he tried to climb the wall.
This made Chris rage... when it was Chris's turn to dm, his salt level was still very high.

>4 PC's are involved in a bar brawl in an inn.
>As we flee before guards arrive Chris rolls d20s.
>As you guys run out the door, 2 of you are hit by rocks thrown from the third story window, by a guy who was woken up by the noise of the fight.
We say " wtf is a guy doing with rocks up in his room?"
Chris replies " he carries them because he knows how deadly they are when dropped on someone. You each take 18 pts damage."
Later that same night...
>Getting our horses from the stable..
>Dm rolls d20s...
"You all take 12 pts damage, the stable boy is throwing rocks at you because he thought you were thieves"

Final battle of that session...
Kobolds in trees... dropping rocks on us.

>>55242206
>Guy who knew him didn't talk about him after that.
Your bro probably saw some ad on craigslist that was shady as fuck and blindly went with it.

The DMs probably on some other forum complaining about THAT group who showed up for his "special session" and bailed despite clear indications on the ad.

>>55247344
Months later Chris is dming again...
We've given him shit about his rock dropping..

First battle is an ambush...a wizards Raven is dropping fucking rocks on us as we sleep...
Dm: " you take 5 pts damage"
We try to shoot the bird but " it's too high and it's dark". We take cover under a tree, and the wizard casts sleep on us all, he was hidden in the tree...we all fail our saves.
Dm:" the wizard starts dropping rocks on you all, from 36 feet up in the tree."

We said nothing just stared at him till he said, "you know... maybe someone else should run a game?"

>>55241277
can i play with you guys?

Everyone I know my age (mid 20's) just wants to be murderhobos and/or have Really Cool Stuff happen. Nobody tries to play it cool and take their time, they all want to start shit and get to the action.

>>55243808
Nope.

>>55247344
what a fag. most passive aggressive; rocks fall everyone dies

>>55247502
I feel you, Anon. I kinda feel like most people just want to KILL MORE MONSTERS GET BETTER LOOT! We were only cautious because I made the decision for the party. They usually only want to kill. Earlier in that game, different session, I found a magic artifact. My character was old and knew that the only thing that came from that sort of thing was trouble, so I gathered my fishing gear (which I had purchased during character creation, my guy liked to fish) and told the party I would be out casting. I went to a secluded place, used magic glue to meld a rock to the dangerous weapon, and threw it into the ocean.

The DM stared at his notes, looked up at me and said, "I, uh... Didn't expect you to do that. Let's say the cleric went with you. Cleric, you notice him with a weapon and stop him from doing that."

I'm glad I no longer game with them.

>>55247702
All because his thief charged a tower and died from a dropped rock.

Not sure why it bothered him so much.

>>55247736
>Plot hooks are dangerous, let's cancel the campaign

Sure, the DM could've handled that way better, but by that logic your old dude would've just stayed home and fished instead of risking life and limb.

>>55245347
Your DM must really enjoy early WRPGS (Wizardry/Might and Magic) where towns are full of monsters yet nobody knows seems to care.

>>55247736
Obviously it was a cursed weapon of kill the king. You made the right choice

>>55241277
Thats more lawful alignment rather than not good

>>55247736
>Be DM
>Entire party clears dungeon
>Gets to treasure room
>Statted out cool magic sword for fighter
>Old rogue finds it, doesn't tell anyone else
>Bullshits about "artifacts always being trouble"
>Hasn't even identified it or anything
>Give in, will probably give the fighter weird vibes to find it later
>Next session
>Setting up for next cool encounter
>Rest of the party prepares gear, asks for information about terrain
>Old rogue says he's "going out casting"
>Party looks at him weird, he's not a caster
>Tells me he's taking sword and some other magical shit
>Whatever
>He fucking throws the sword in the ocean
>Fucking what
>Look over notes for session
>Boss is immune to non-magical weapons
>Fighter has no magical weapons
>MFW the rogue just made the front line fighter useless this session

>>55248084
>>55248269
>>55248563

You guys didn't know the DM. It revealed itself to be a talking sword next session that betrayed the party by screaming when we were sneaking through a bandit camp. It got the ranger killed. Thing belonged in the ocean.

>>55239246
Should players be fed "stories" on a platter, sir?

>>55239246
i would normally be that guy but in this case, but all the players where up front with what they wanted so the gm is probably an ass.

>>55249137
I'd hope not.

Most of the issues I see, can be resolved before the game ever starts, simply by the DM and players agreeing on a campaign.

Examples
"We'd like a combat heavy/light game"
"We want to buy a ship"
"We want to set up an adventurers training camp"
"We're not sure what kind of game we want, but we don't enjoy political intrigues"
"We love political intrigues, and hate dungeons"
"We like dungeons and hate any type of water based adventure"

Then, the DM can slap together a "plot", based on the players wants. It's not that difficult.

The wrong way to do it, is to write up 999 pages of info about what Duke Boring on eats, and how Baron Jiggiepuffs likes a finger in his dickhole on Saturdays. Then force that storyline off on a group that just wants to kill goblins.

>>55248934
I knew it was something about getting yall killed. Not exactly kill the king but it did fuck yall up. The GM fucked yall for not taking the risk.

>>55249178
>but all the players where up front with what they wanted
Some players literally don't know what they want in a game, in that case the DM has a lot of leeway.
But ya, when the players want a specific "theme", and the dm says "fuck that, I want you guys to see my magic tree, so we're doing this", that's when the DM should rethink things a bit.
It's a group game. Reaching a group concession about the game, isn't too difficult.

File: Cambrian.jpg (19KB, 200x312px)

19KB, 200x312px

>>55241145
>I think he meant Cambions
He did not.

>>55241145
Did the token not lose it's magic?

>>55248934
so what did anyone blame the cleric or DM

>>55245347
i really hope you got your 15 gold back from the innkeeper because of the vermin

>>55249531
Well, I blamed the DM. Everyone else had been gaming with him a long time and just acted like it was a normal thing to happen. Most of the time they just all shot me down whenever I went contrary to what the DM clearly wanted. It was like some sort of weird railroad where the players were the ones to keep it on track.

Had a GM rape another player with an undead futa dick in an Exalted game.

Attempt to rape him with zombies in a WoD game

Rape everyone with a demon that visited our dreams later on in the same WoD game

I no longer play with this GM

>>55249796
>Had a GM rape another player
Did you call the police?

>>55249197
this, it's a good idea to tell your players what they're in for, because if you don't the next thing you know you have a barbarian in a mundane party, already making bone shivs and ready to fuck up in of that butler who wants the party to work for him

>>55249827
Oh my god, you're so clever and smart and handsome

>>55245421
wouldn't lawful good be exactly what they did? Putting the threatened party under protective custody and allowing the proper authorities to handle the drunkards?

File: 1255193872877.png (17KB, 470x495px)

17KB, 470x495px

>>55249885
Thanks

>been really missing ttrpgs
>go to the local game shop just to see if I can find something
>flyer advertising for game, in it they seem reluctant to try a stranger but they really feel they need another player
>I go through email correspondence with the GM, he tells me to come to the game next Saturday
>gonna meet at the shop even though they game at home because I'm a stranger
>show up pretty early, just the cashier and one guy looking over magic cards
>go be friendly and chat with them
>guy with magic cards is kind of rude, doesn't want to talk. Cashier is friendly
>cashier and I talk about 5e which was new at the time
>magic card guy says he plays, gonna game today actually
>realize he might be in my game but don't say anything yet because he was really rude and still might want to ditch if I need to
>starts complaining about the game he is in
>all the players are constantly killing each other, but they have extra lives so it's ok
>whenever they roll a 20 they get an extra life in game, it's set in a video game
>killing each other is the whole point of the game actually, the setting is that they are trapped in an arena run by a lich and every session they just fight each other in a gladiator match, whoever kills the others to the point they give up wins
>winner gets gold, booze, and wenches until the next match
>others tortured in great detail for a week
>sounds terrible but nothing like the game described to me in the email so I feel safe revealing I'm here for a game too
>literally the same game
>it was down to two players because everyone quit
>they wanted someone else as magic card guy was tired of always being the one killed
>he said they were gonna make me come in at level one. They're level seven
>turns out the GM was keeping it "secret" because otherwise I might not show
>I told him it didn't sound like it was for me and that I was gonna leave
>he doesn't want me to leave, was gonna use me for a ride home after
>leave anyways without ever meeting the GM

>>55249971
I also realized just now that other than the extra lives thing, it didn't even sound like it had anything to do with being in a video game

Played in an Adventure League game at FLGS

Roll up a noble born OOD warlock, made a pact with Old One because of decadent aristocracy reasons. Have three dudes, on to look after my dog, one to be my manservant, & one to be my herald. When outof town adventuring I wear a pointy hood with cloth tendrils that make me look like a klansman of ctnulhu. My wife makes a woof elf elements monk.
Lower level than the other players as they are several session into LMoP. Join the group as they are travelling. Encounter an ogre, seeing it way out in the distance & angry. The entire party of mostly martials/clerics are about to charge it, when i say that we should all just pull out our bows & shoot him as he comes into range. Wife throws some caltrops infront of the group as well. I sling insults at it to get its attention & by the time it pulls close to us its a pin cushion. Everyone is kind of weirded out because it was so simple. Im pretty sure that was the very first use of tactics they had ever experienced. Later learned just how crappy the DM was when we rescue some peasants from goblins or something & i tell the villagers to grab the goblins weapons & shields & follow us to safety

"Uh, no anon, they are peasants, they arent going to grab weapons."

Explain that im not trying to ga,e the system & use them for cannon fodder, i just would want them armed in this situation because its normal to do so when your life is in danger & i just want to make sure they live.
"No, anon, they arent going to do that"
Well i tell them to at least grab shields to protect themselves
"No anon, they are peasants & arent going to do that either"

Okay fine let me escort this obviously cardboard cut out NPCs to the quest return zone so that i can get my xp & advance to the next generoc quest point. Maybe i can go & gather ten rusty buckets next.

The DM ran the game like a vidya, & the players played it like skyrim. Literally one of them was a dragonborn tempest cleric named Talos.

>>55249971
>he said they were gonna make me come in at level one. They're level seven
>turns out the GM was keeping it "secret" because otherwise I might not show
>I told him it didn't sound like it was for me and that I was gonna leave
>he doesn't want me to leave, was gonna use me for a ride home after

What gigantic assholes.

>>55249971
irl lol

i've been in the same boat thinking about hitting up the game store for D&D openings but now I'm not so sure.

>>55250002
I especially thought it weird he was gone ask me, a complete stranger for a ride home. I was 24 at the time and he looked about 15, but I couldn't be sure.

>>55250016
Don't let me story keep you from finding a game, I joined up with a random group in a similar way later and they were pretty great. Don't game with them anymore but did not regret meeting up with them

>>55241254
It's quite common amongst my group to disrobe once we start playing. My apartment gets to like 40 degrees celsius. Pretty much all of the players know ahead of time to wear comfortable, cool clothing underneath their real clothes in anticipation for my apartment.
Standard is just boxers for males, boy shorts and tank tops for females.

>>55249997
Eventually got in with another group at the FLGS. Play the same character since i didnt get to really RP my warlock much in the vidya vibes campaign. The DM was new & i helped him a lot with details & rulings. I never read the adventure we did but i always tried to goad the plot along where the DM wanted it to go, the DM might be a really good one someday. But man were the players so inexperienced in non-linear thinking. I was the most experienced player by a few years but still they were just so new to anything that wasnt "do the thing, get the reward". An example; Part of a quest had us rescue a dwarven merchant. We do so & my LE cultist tries to push him into giving us money/resources for saving him since he is a wealthy merchant. The rest of the LG, NG, & CG party jump on the band wagon... then the LG cleric of Life starts to bring up torture... I , a LE servant to a mad god, then have to convince them that the merchant can only give us so much right now but maybe he can owe us a "favor" later & OOC remind the dude that torture is definitely not LG & if he meant that. The DM thanked me after the session & i tried to take cues from him on how he wanted things to go after.

>>55250155
>anon turns the heat up to 40C before every game

>>55250155
>40 degrees celsius
>doesnt give a measurement in freedom

>>55241145
>Outside the house we're attacked by two "Cambrians
Is he an oxford man, by any chance?

>>55239246
Eh, I'm more thinking, "He worked hard on his setting for a particular type of game, why not give it a try to see what well thought out, prepared, and passionate games are like instead of opting in for the literal baseline, over the counter DnD experience."

Not saying OP's DM did nothing wrong, just saying that the players started with the wrong thing.

>>55250190
To my friends of the south, it's 104. Apparently. I only know weight and length in freedom. Everything else I use surrender monkey measurements

>>55250306
Holy fuck anon, open a window. How does Canada get that hot?

>>55250306
>104 degrees
>nothing more than some nerds playing around a table in anon's apartment
Be honest, anon. How many spontaneous orgies have erupted from your in depth erotic sessions?

>>55250431
>>55250450
It's really humid where I am. Also I'm in an apartment surrounded by old people/meth cooks who constantly run their heat, and because it's hot water heating, we fucking cook.

So far we've had an in game orgy while running reign of winter. And our one friend always encourages irl orgies because she's into the kink community and wants to see our game group being homos. It hasn't happened yet

>>55250544
How have you not? Nerd girls are my fetish. Even the chubby ones.
especially the chubby ones

>>55241145
Doesn't sound that bad. Sounds like Gygaxianboi was using the wrong system. Too many stupid fucking spells, dispel should just dispel magic.

>>55241413
Almost everything in this thread, desu.

>>55250561
The one that encourages orgies is really chubby. Like 300lb chubby. She makes money on fetlife dominating dudes or some shit. I dunno.

>>55245347
Dude, just go with it, honestly not too bad.

>>55250612
Just stick her behind a glory hole. Chubby pussy is great, even if everything around it is a mess.

>>55250665
I have a wife with a properly working pussy. If anons want, I'll try and get chubbyfems info and y'all can pay her to degrade you

>>55250709
no thanks, if I wanted a fat bitch to tell me how disgusting I was and how pathetic I am, I'd just go back to my mom's house for Thanksgiving

>be playing standard Forgotten Realms with some homebrew cities
>be playing as a drow rogue who follows Lolth (with a view to betraying her at a later date)
>we head to some drow city where the plot has been dragging us
>have to say we're followers of Vhaeraun to get in
>head to the palace to meet the queen
>queen says she already knows my character is a Lolth follower
>bullshit but ok
>soon turns out that this queen is the DM's character from a previous campaign
>she's got a magic mirror that holds an ancient power monster that follows her commands but is clearly unhappy about it
>magic mirror eats one of her subjects because they betrayed her
>dislike this queen so sneak in when no one else is around and try to make a deal with it to free it and cause chaos
>go back to the tavern, settle down
>morning comes
>"you feel yourself pulled by the ankle through some unseen force"
>party try to hold onto me to stop me flying through the air
>take repeating bludgeoning damage the longer they hold on so tell them to let go
>fly directly upwards into the queen's tower
>get put into a torture chamber
>turns out the mirror sold me out
>get castrated by the queen
>party try to negotiate for my release
>queen says no I'm gonna be sacrificed to Vhaeraun
>they have no way to break into this tower, guards everywhere
>get to a big event
>queen forces the party to sacrifice me
>use up my inspiration to ask if I can barter with Vhaeraun
>she allows it
>get to go back but have to multi-class into Warlock of Vhaeraun
>Vhaeraun holds my leash from there on out and can stop my heart the second I do anything that displeases him, he always knows
>try to research ways to cleanse myself of this
>"you find nothing, there's no way out of this"

She ended up pissing off everyone in the party (much later) and we staged a coup, and I'm the DM now.

i once played a self made system based on fudge.
the dm was... strange and the story did not make much sense... in the end the main problem was, that magic did not exist in the world, but because some "elves" fucked up, magic was streaming into our world. they where teaching us to do something about it, but gave us many rules what we are allowed to do with the magic.
So we asked: you guys fucked up, why dont you do something about the problem than?
--> nope, elves are not allowed to take action in other planes. and they where allknowing and so unbearibly GOOD.

>>55241509
any water in a drought

>>55250838
>be playing as a drow rogue
stopped reading there
there is nothing that can possibly follow this that won't establish you as a that guy

>>55241145
He wasnt a friend of the owner aswell?

>>55250983
>A spider bit me on the peepee and gave me a priapism that pulsed to the beat of Soft Cell's Tainted Love and so I'm reminded of this traumatic incident every time I hear this song or see a drow

>>55251035
careful not to cut yourself on all that edge drow lover

>>55250983
Believe what you like, pal. I ended up being the most successful face of the party and generally the most reasonable person.

>>55251049
Is the face of the party the member whose body all the others go inside on overworld maps and awkwardly walk out of and back into when they have dialogue themselves?

>>55251049
sure you did, that guy

>>55251071
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjJS76wOUm0

>playing 4e, close friend and former roommate DMing.
>I play a Warlock focused on defense and area debuffs.
>New Group.
>They find me in a cave, they get attacked by my imprisoner.
>Monster has an AoE attack that covers the area around it, my character becomes invisible when he moves far enough in a turn.
>I run back and forth sniping it with debuffs while group pounds on it.
>Almost kills me as it hit automatically and my character relies on invisibility being always on for protection, DM has me get hit by AoE every turn.
>Retreat out of room to chug a potion and avoid dying.
>Party decides to kill my character for "cowardice."
>I kill two of them before dying. DM retcons fight and orders us not to kill each other.
>Group breaks down into screaming fight over who has the right to be the party diplomat when we meet a friendly ghost.
>Pack things and go, can hear them still arguing about which character has a worse charisma score as I drive away.
>Get apology message from DM later, never play with him again.

>>55251071
Go ask /5eg/ about the Oil Baron if you don't believe me. There's a reason all of the players in the group came and played on my table when I left the game. It is possible to play a drow without going /thatguy/, you know.

>>55251062
It wasn't quite that drastic, but more or less.

>>55250983
Hey man Drow are cool. I love Drizzt but if I was gonna be a Drow I'd go for neutral evil, they just have good racial attributes and being an evil elf is fun.

>>55251095
>/5eg/
yes because we all know cancerous generals are the best place to find excellent examples of roleplayers

>>55251121
>cancerous generals
>drow are all that guy

Who hurt you anon and why can't you enjoy a straightforward That DM story

>>55250952
>adds salt water to fields
>wonders why crops won't grow
>any water in a drought!

>>55250838
>Forgotten Realms
>playing a Banite eldritch knight ftr/wiz from Calimshan, from a wealthy noble family
>have tons of expensive stuff - prize warhorse, mithril horse armor, mithril breastplate, magic sword hidden in a glove of shrinking, big spellbook with tons of additional spells and several backup spellbooks
>travelling by ship
>long travel, take off my combat gear and put my luggage away, go around in a robe
>everyone else is in full armor, weapons ready, 24/7
>fourth night, there is a massive storm with severe wind and heavy rain
>we get attacked by a pirate ship
>pirates shoot arrows at us, get hit by a few
>DM: "maybe you should've used that fancy armor you have, not my fault"
>meanwhile my fire spells fizzle in the rain
>have to roll acrobatics every step to move and not fall
>meanwhile pirates still sniping us with arrows
>several pirates swim to our ship, in the middle of the storm, waves 5m high, and board the ship
>I've gone belowdeck to try and get my armor and weapon, see them come belowdeck and start fiddling around some crates
>did have some spells prepared, attack the pirates and chase after them out up onto the main deck
>suddenly explosion
>front half of the ship is missing; ship is rapidly sinking
>shit, my horse was there
>and most of my gear
>can't save the rest because the ship is sinking too fast
>take off my breastplate and jump into the water with other players
>DM: "lol, why'd you take off your armor?"
>remind him that it's a storm and my swim skill isn't good
>DM: "oh, I don't count weight into your swim checks"
>"Well, can I have my armor back, then?"
>"No, you already took it off. Your fault."
>I curse because I've lost all of my wealth, esp. all the additional spells I've written into my spellbook
>DM gets pissy and blames me for not checking the crates pirates fiddled with
>apparently "fiddling" was "setting us up the bomb"

>>55251093

But that sounds more like the party were cunts rather than your DM

>>55250252
He worked hard on this setting after they already told him they don't want that kind of game, and wanted something traditional. He could have easily put his hard work to something that he could be proud of while still giving them what they wanted. Instead he ignored what they wanted and spent all his time working on something solely with his own desires in mind. Since he clearly didn't care about what his players wanted, the players shouldn't have to care about his "wasted time".

>>55248563
There are many retarded and presumptuous greentexts out there, but this takes the cake anon. My favourite part was where you never heard of casting a net/casting a line to mean fishing.

>>55251093
That's fucking depressing.
Definitely sounds like it was the players' fault rather than the DM. That shit happens sometimes and it's depressing as hell.

>>55245347
Just treat it as a curse and use it to your advantage
>Character is somehow misteriouslly cursed to be attacked at night no matter where
>Start using the most expensive and
luxurious inns you can find
>keep getting attacked at night
>complains to the inn manager you were attacked at night, shows the corpse as proof
>Get your money back, plus compesations

seems good, desu.

>>55250838
Eerily similar to the style of DMing of a female DM I know... Maryland?

>>55253683
England. Female DMs, dude, what can you do?

>>55250734
Underrated post

>>55239180
>investigating this abandoned monastery up in the mountains.
>entrance room, two minotaurs inside, kill them before they can utter an alarm
>no obvious way to progress forward.
>look for secret doors.
>find one, can't get it open.
>DM does not tell us that our lock picking roll just wasn't good enough, just shrugs and asks if we want to try something else.
>well, there was this gong in the room with us, maybe that opens it?
>ring gong. Nothing happens.
>finally decide to take 20 on picking the secret door, get it open
>Every single monster in the fort is on the other side.
>half the party dies fleeing from them.
Fucking douchebag.

>>55252597
I don't believe you.

>>55245347
I don't believe you.

>>55243577
This is another one of those Markov chains isn't it?

>playing 3.0 with this dm
>his plots are so insanely mundane and boring
>so predictable that if someone approaches the party outside of town you can outright attack them before they're even described because they WILL be an enemy
>we play this game for several sessions, only finding the above more and more true
>I usually protest, because my character doesn't want to accidentally attack innocents and am worried the dm will eventually decide to make one of them actually good npcs to trick us
>party gets so used to his style that we just walk through his plots attacking everything before he can describe it
>too pussy to kill us, literally stops attacking us if our health gets to low, and if that happens to the entire party the enemies just run away
>everyone so fucking bored
>we eventually get a quest to invade a camp of thieves
>just stroll in like normal attacking everything
>they just wipe the floor with us, nearly killing us, dm isn't holding back anymore
>finally interesting, I play dead after a particularly good hit
>party follows, they drag our "corpses" away after the battle so we don't stink up the place
>rest of party is so mad, I'm just glad things are different
>dm says he wanted to teach us that not every challenge is easy enough for us to tackle, sometimes we need to learn to run away
>we sneak in to complete our quest without alerting anyone, finally fun
>excited that dm finally learned his lesson
>he immediately goes back to normal and we never face a challenge ever again, making the entire "lesson" pointless

at the risk of sounding like an absolute asshole,
can you think of a way of sabotaging a session (as in make it less fun for everybody) without looking like that guy? I wanna make the GM look bad without coming under scrutiny myself.
Before you judge, this guy has been a real dick to me and feels like his shit doesn't smell when it comes to GMing. The group is about to fall apart anyway and i want the last session to be an embarrassment for him.

>>55254605
can you tell us about the game?

>>55254605
Steer away from the DM's plot so they're forced to invent new things constantly. DMs usually overcorrect or panic and shit it up.

>>55254605
We are gonna need some details for that mate.

>>55254605
Whenever the DM declares something do the whole "Oh...kay?..." attitude. Then have your character try to do some "reasonable" thing that is actually very sideways to what the DM intends, pretend like you don't understand what he is trying to do.
Come up with a "plan" to solve some issue in the world that is not the DM's focus, ignore his quest in favor of some other sideline issue.
If possible try to convince the other PCs to go along with your pointless distraction under the guise of a plan.

>>55254543

the problem is the modern crowed thinks what this 3.0 dm did is likely good dming.

>>55252597
>playing a Banite
>NPCs crash your ship with no survivors
>this wasn't part of your master plan

>>55254605

Context context context. Heck you even be that guy.

>>55245347
LOL. May be you were possessing some cursed item that attracted monsters?

>>55250983
Agreed.
100%

>>55254627
>>55254643
the game itself is pretty average with a wildly inconsistent setting, being pretty much earth in some unspecified time period, that seems to be changing the worlds technological level whenever it suits the GM, and some half hearted "there is also magic" shit tacked on.
The GM also constantly forces his bullshit politics into the game. I don't have a problem with his politics, but i don't want them to be injected into a RPG session to this extent.
GM is also - as he verbally declared himself - " entirely next level" which simply means the whole system is rolling a 20 sided die and having him decide the outcome of anything according to the rule "higher is better".
apparently this means "unrivaled freedom", however, the campaign itself is rather railroaded,
with the occasional "A or B" decision.
The GM calls this "sandbox" and feels like it is very revolutionary.
He has also basically conditioned the players at the table to suck his dick, by giving extra loot to people who suck up to him the most between sessions.
All that is rather annoying, but the real reason i am so mad at this guy, is that he constantly shits on and disparages the games i run in a separate group.
he has never played in any of them, nor witnessed them, yet he feels the need to belittle me for them calling them "little side sessions between the MAIN game" (being the games he runs), saying his campaign is the only one that actually matters, outright telling me that he is clearly a better GM, that he has "heard from friends" about my game and "is not impressed".
The most dick-suckey of his underlings also likes to affirm this.
To be VERY clear, i have never bragged or even mentioned anything about running my games when i was with this group.
however, i do take pride in the fact that i pour a lot of my effort and soul into the campaigns i run.
having them so openly and blatantly (and without any justification to boot) disparaged is about the worst insult you can throw at me.

>>55252919
Well said

>>55254900
>little side sessions
what a bellend

>>55239246
That's correct though. If you hate the GM's game so much find another game or run your own game.

>>55253683
Former Marylander here, AA County?

>>55254900
Then >>55254671 would be a good start.

My advice would be to leave and never look back, but you don't seem the sort of person that leaves another the last word.

The first thing would be to try and go against anything the GM wants you to do, subtly. An example could be that if the GM wants you to explore a cave, you can suggest to send other people to do it for you instead. Make sure that you don't act out of character though and explain IC your reasoning.
>If we have someone else go in the cave for us and kill the monster inside, then we can go and kill them and the monster and take the treasure for ourselves without breaking a sweat! Pretty neat, don't you think?

The best way to ruin someone's fun is to steer the game away from them and constantly give attention to other things. Don't allow the GM to focus on things he likes but do not interrupt him when he speaks, that would just be suspicious of you.

So instead, when he jerks off by describing what color the panties of the latest loli GMPC he introduced has and how short her skirt is, instead focus on something irrelevant that he mentioned in passing. Like the school gate that she just walked through: there are her classmates right? Wonder if your sister's nephew is coming out, since he also goes to this school and direct your attention to the cardboard cutout NPCs that are walking out instead of the Lolishit the GM introduced.

>>55239180
>DM soft railroads us into going on ths long quest to discover the super secret and tragic background of his BBEG.
>Ugh.
>Whatever, do your time, maybe something interesting will come up later
>Find out details of his past, including how he failed to keep his family from being executed over political machinations a long time before our party was on the scene.
>Much later
>Being special forces in a pitched battle against said BBEG's army.
>Spot the evil wizard himself.
>Call out a taunt about his family and how he will fail his new nation just as badly.
>DM consults his notes.
>Rolls a die
>Announces that this guy turns red in the face, howls at the group, and starts lobbing kill spells at my character specifically.
>Despite the best efforts of the party mage to shield me from magic, and the priest to heal me, I go under pretty fast.
>The expenditure of magic forces him to retreat afterwards, they don't even kill him.

It is the highest bullshit to forcefeed your players that kind of tripe and then punish them when they try to use it.

>>55255479
Well all in all it doesn't seem that strange, you pushed a button which was painfull for him, he decided to fuck you up with the power he have, seems reasonable.

>>55255508
Fuck you Josh. It was a terrible way to waste dozens of hours and screw me over for doing that.

>>55255479
>Try to anger BBEG with taunts
>Complains when previously taunted BBEG attacks him
I mean what were you expecting to happen? The guy to burst into tears and give up?

File: 1494558950939.jpg (24KB, 427x384px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 427x384px

>>55240493
>Next time he puts the characters against someone with a knife, all of them should just fucking run. Participate in no combat where anyone has a bladed weapon. Cite PTSD.

>>55255479
>find sensitive info
>taunt powerful wizard with it
>wizard kills you
>"wow wtf gm why are you punishing me"

>>55255573
No mate I don't mean the first part, that well it just depend on the execution, but the second part seemed justified, in my opinion at least. Also fuck you too Tyler.

>>55241413
I've learned to never underestimate the boundless well that is human stupidity.

>>55255479
You seem real hard to please anon

>>55255582
>>55255593
I would expect to get some kind of benefit for the information I had to waste so much time getting.

>>55255479
It sounds like the DM was just trying to flesh out his villain rather than make him some one note antagonist you guys would just forget about. He misread thinking you guys would be interested in that but you honestly acted pretty dumb touching the BBEG's nerve like that and then acting surprised when he gets mad and tries to kill you.

File: 1381030573167.gif (675KB, 350x250px) Image search: [Google]

675KB, 350x250px

>>55255479
this seems more like a ThatGuy thing than a ThatDM...player whines about consequences of their actions. Whatd you think he was gonna do? If anything you should have appealed to his apparent humanity in this situation, saying that his actions are going to cause thousands to lose their families just like he lost his. Instead, you insulted him and got angry that he got angry...

>>55255479
>taunts BBEG with dead family
>complains when BBEG flips out
did you expect him to break down crying or something? The DM did nothing wrong in this scenario.

>>55255669
Yeah, you got a way to really rile the guy up. That's pretty useful in the right situation.

Too bad you used it in the wrong one.

>>55255669
well that's kinda up to you, isn't it?
you decided to use this information to insult the guy, so what did you expect to happen?
you explain about being force fed, but then expect to be force fed undeserved success simply for remembering something?

>>55255479
haha get cucked loser

>>55255669
Yeah, you went through all that trouble to get a silver bullet and then proceeded to shoot yourself in the foot with it. Did you think screaming sensitive info across the battlefield was magically going to solve anything?

>>55255479
7/10 post, got plenty of (You)s.

>>55254236
>not taking 20 on the lockpick to start with

Your fault, not his. He's under no obligation to tell you how badly you failed or why.

>>55255096
>So instead, when he jerks off by describing what color the panties of the latest loli GMPC he introduced has and how short her skirt is, instead focus on something irrelevant that he mentioned in passing. Like the school gate that she just walked through: there are her classmates right? Wonder if your sister's nephew is coming out, since he also goes to this school and direct your attention to the cardboard cutout NPCs that are walking out instead of the Lolishit the GM introduced.

Uh, okay. That took a wild tangent. You got a story to go with this? Cuz i'm not sure i believe you made this up on the spot.

>>55254900
Do you happen to be in Ohio? I might know this guy

>>55254953
Honestly, I'd provably just stop playing with the DM.

Make sure to note that these side sessions are eating up too much time you could be spending working I the main game and just leave it at that.

>>55251046
What exactly is wrong with the drow? Shitty players who play Drizzt ripoffs are not the problem with the drow, that's the problem with shitty players.

>>55242226
I fucking hate DM that have this "really god story" that they want the players to go through. If you want to tell a story then write a book, don't just sit there and tell me stuff happened without any input from the players. Worst fucking kind of DM, from own experience dealing with that shit

>>55239180
So, since this is on the subject of such, at what point do you think a DM has officially crossed the line into a That DM action?

>Introduces a monster/NPC encounter that is enormously stronger than the party, such that combat with it is suicidal, but there are clear alternatives to fighting.
>Introduces a monster/NPC encounter that is enormously stronger than the party, such that combat with it is suicidal, alternatives to fighting exist but are not immediately evident.
>Introduces a monster/NPC encounter that is enormously stronger than the party, such that combat with it is suicidal, alternatives to fighting exist but the DM has led you on to believe that combat is the best option here.
>Introduces a monster/NPC encounter that is enormously stronger than the party, such that combat with it is suicidal, with no indication that this thing is too tough to handle.
>Springs the above monster/NPC that is enormously stronger than the party in a position where it cannot realistically be avoided.
>Allows the players to traipse through an area where there is a monster/NPC who is enormously stronger than the party, giving no indication that running into this thing is even a possibility.
>Rolls a die and announces that hidden forces (whatever is appropriate to the campaign setting) have murdered the party in their sleep.
>Rocks fall, everyone dies.

>>55243577

I chuckled towards the end. Sounds like our "pity" DM friend too.

>playing homebrew based off the pantheon greentext
>planes of fate eats d20 people a 'turn'
>do quest, get magical artifact that negates loss of people
>The VERY next turn, "you loose more people to the Plains of fate"
>I thought my artifact negated that?
>"oh yeah"
>have to remind him EVERY turn.
>not every other or when he felt like it, EVERY turn.
>next session
>"you lose more people"
>And my artifact?
>he looks at the map, his notes, then to me and fucking shrugs
>"I don't know what to tell ya man"
>won't ever acknowledge my magical item THAT HE HAD PREVIOUSLY MADE AND TOLD ME WHAT IT DID

>>55255479
Sounds like you're the problem

>>55239180
>Guy playing rogue openly brags that he knows a trick to roll d6s to anything he wants.
>Whenever he gets a backstab, always tends to roll a shitton of 5s and 6s.
>DM "Wow, you're really lucky there"
>Does absolutely nothing to curb his obvious cheating.

>>55256564
The first two are fine.
Everything else is wtf dude tier.

File: 1496169075149.png (11KB, 447x378px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 447x378px

>>55256564
Shit, am I That Gm for having the players encounter a Giant Elk that is promptly eaten by a Bulette on the first session? I wanted to set the tone for the PCs not always being stronger and setting an example of sometimes running is the better option, but I'm not sure if that's a That DM thing.

>itt gms aren't players too
>itt the GM has to do what I want
>itt the players have to do what I want

For fuck sake people, stop playing with people you don't have fun with, shit ain't hard.

>inb4 no good people in my area
Then go find some, I did it, that other guy did it, you can do it.

>>55257301
Nah, you sound fine. It's only really a That DM thing if you spring it on your players unexpectedly. Running being the better option is fine. Putting them against something they should run from while either giving them no warning or making flight impossible is a problem.

>>55250431
In summer in canada we've had upwards of 45C with humidity, and humidity will make you drip with sweat just sitting around. then of course we also drop to -45 with wind at some points in winter (all in the same city) Canada has some fucked up weather.

>>55249304
/tg/ never disappoints

>>55257243
>Guy playing rogue openly brags that he knows a trick to roll d6s to anything he wants

Thats called weighted dice

>>55257413
>itt people complain about people complaining and try to use their own arbitrary experiences to stop them from complaining

Fuckin brilliant one aren't ya.

>>55255096
>>55256263
thanks. i would have stopped a long time ago, but some of the players there are my friends who are for some reason really attached to this group.
They keep low-key pressuring me to not quit the group in a way that i can only describe as emotional blackmail.
but i have made up my mind for good now. i will ruin one last session, and leave. if the group falls apart without me, they probably should have been a bit more respectful to me, one would think.

>>55256135
nope, europe.

>>55241145
cont'd
>We reach the island, it's tropical because there's a volcano on it
>First thing that happens, a swarm of monkeys shows up and starts literally throwing shit at us
>Later, the DM tells the wizard that he feels like he's lost his connection with his familiar
>Then a douchebag pixie shows up
>The DM puts on a really annoying voice when he talks
>DM informs the wizard that the pixie is now his familiar, but he has no control over him
>The pixie has fairy magic, which can apparently do anything
>He transforms us into humiliating new forms
>I'm turned into a rabbit man with a giant carrot. Other PCs get turned into a MLP centaur, a Liberace (who can spin a feather boa to use as a shield), a woman (but with the same face as when she was a man), one of them's just naked and has a really small dick
>So this pride parade goes looking for the box in the jungle, make our way toward the volcano because that's the only point of interest here
>We fight dinosaurs, apes and worms. As with the other fight, there's no notes or books or anything, it's all in the DM's head, and he doesn't write anything down when we do damage. It's clear that he's just making everything up as he goes along
>We reach the volcano and find pirate treasure. The DM has us roll for the treasure (one thing I did like is that the DM had players roll everything), but he doesn't consult charts or anything. Those are "from memory" too
>We find an artifact: a coin that can be flipped when something bad is about to happen to its owner. If it's a heads that thing doesn't happen, if it's a tail it happens to the entire party
>So, it can turn a dead PC into a TPK
>There's also some flintlocks here, but the DM tells us we can't use them or sell them or do anything else with them. They're just decoration
>We aimlessly wander around until we're on a beach, then the DM tells us we see the box in the water
(to be continued)

>>55257959
>We take the box, the fairy turns us back into our normal forms, and we go back to the wizard (who's also the ruler of the surrounding area)
>The wizard lies down on the box, it turns him young as the box rots away
>Then the wizard tells us that war is coming, a baron of the next land over is pissed at him for fucking his ten year old daughter ("I thought she was a halfling!", says the wizard)
That was the end of the first adventure.

>>55249381
No, but it might've been out of range or something.

>>55251015
Not that I know of.

>>55254543
Sounds like some 3.0 games i was playing

>>55257630
Nah, I've seen him do it with any die you pass to him. It's some sleight of hand to make sure that it rolls out the way he wants.

>>55258075
>"I thought she was a halfling!"
kek

>>55249721
>entire party likes DM except for me.
> DM made a weird item that got us killed because we didn't think this talking sword I threw into the ocean would get mad at us for that.
>SHIT DM

>>55249930
>>55249885
This exchange is why I love tg/

>>55249930
>>55249885
Kek
This exchange is why i love tg/

>>55259021
>>55259093
I'm not sure which is worse, the way you tried to correct yourself by adding "Kek" or that you managed to fail to capitalise "I" the second time round.

Or that you managed to miss the first forward slash on /tg/ while keeping the latter slash.

No, wait, it's the fact that you failed in knowing how to delete your post.

>>55255096
>So instead, when he jerks off by describing what color the panties of the latest loli GMPC he introduced has and how short her skirt is, instead focus on something irrelevant that he mentioned in passing. Like the school gate that she just walked through: there are her classmates right? Wonder if your sister's nephew is coming out, since he also goes to this school and direct your attention to the cardboard cutout NPCs that are walking out instead of the Lolishit the GM introduced.
Uh, the guy you're responding to didn't even mention anything about loli GMPCs. Focus.

>>55255920
>DM does not tell us that our lock picking roll just wasn't good enough, just shrugs and asks if we want to try something else.
Shit GMing.

>>55260721
lemme ask this. How high was your first roll compared to your max?

File: 1282274277259.png (77KB, 297x310px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 297x310px

>>55260379

You Can delete posts?!

>>55256697
What pantheon greentext was that?

>>55260754
Wouldn't know, I wasn't in the group. "You feel like you got close to getting the lock solved hit in your rush damaged your kit. You'll need to spend a few moments repairing it before you use it again." Is something I have used in the past as a way to encourage them to try again or decide to devote a good bit of time trying.
Also describing the locks quality as "much better made than any lock you've bypassed before but you think you can get it." Goes a long way.

"Hurr it's a lock." Is some shit level GM work.

>>55260878
Depending on the discrepancy between their rolled lockpick and max, they should have probably just assumed taken 20 may have a different result.

Admittedly thats shit tier GM work, but at the same time shit tier GM's for shit tier players.

>>55255669
>I spent hours getting this sword, why does the GM punish me when I stab myself in the face with it?

>>55254724
kek

>>55239180
there's more to come of this as the GoT watching normalfag horde starts taking an interest in tabletop

File: 1503621404227.jpg (278KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

278KB, 1024x768px

>>55264778
What specifically in GoT do you think is causing what? I don't watch or read it, but I know a few players and DMs who do.

>>55265072
The massive amounts of death and dragons.

>>55265072
He thinks popular fantasy will bring a bunch of new people into the hobby. He also thinks that new people coming into the hobby erodes the integrity of the hobby. He does not acknowledge that new people can revitalize a hobby, however. Nor does he realize that new people coming into the hobby only increases the number of potentially decent people to play with, as one can always filter out shitheads.

Basically the "This band was cool until all the normies started listening to them" thing that hipsters do, but applied to RPGs.

>DM running a book adventure
>literally tells us DM only knowledge to get us to do things
>"Oh I don't know those guys look tough."
>Oh, don't worry they run away if you get them to half health.
>"O-okay.."

Why does he think this is acceptable. Literally told him to stop spoiling shit and let us play. Had to quit because he wouldn't stop this bullshit.

>>55245347
You told this story at Dragoncon? I heard it there.

>>55258567
>Guy playing rogue shows skill on sleight of hand
I would give him inspiration for good roleplay.

My DM doesn't allow ability modifiers when making attacks so whatever I roll on the D20 is what I get regardless of my stats or proficiency.

>>55241509
Mine was just a guy retconing a backstory thing I paid for once ortwice a session until it was 9 to 6 job I had todo and didnt get paid for and a v. On rails game.

Again he was very on rails and had a lagor (psychic hound sized pack spider with swords for hands) ask for someone to pull a lever and be impressed when they attacked it.

>>55266509
Your DM is a retard and needs to be slapped upside the head with the PHB.

>>55266907
I'm still relatively new to the game, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he mentioned that bullshit rule claiming "thats the way you're supposed to attack". Of course I was fucking pissed once I had the chance to reread the PHB.

>>55265532
Fuck inspiration, just let him keep his rolls.

>>55255479
talk shit get hit

>>55257301
Giving a brief glimpse of future horror isn't so bad a thing. Even official DnD modules do this.

>>55239180
>Try to encourage everyone in group to DM at least a one-shot every so often, spread the work around, see if anyone likes it, help with perspective, that kind of thing.
>We have this guy, Vincent, decent roleplayer, but his one-shot was awful. Nonsense plot and setting, crazy consequences for mundane actions (We once found a bed on a featureless plain that was near a sheer drop off the 'edge of the world'. Inspecting it made him decide we all climbed aboard, where it flung us into space. We take some damage from vacuum exposure trying to get back, and more from 'FBI orcs' shooting us on our way back.) The setting material he provided us contained numerous misspellings, often misspelling the same fictitious place in different ways.
>Like I said, it was awful, but I don't think there was any malice in it, he was just bad and maybe on acid when he wrote it.
>The that DM in this story is another guy in our group, Timothy.
>Timothy subsequently makes two different one-shots that are both barely hidden barbs at Vincent, the second of which involved running away from Freiza (who made a cameo in Vince's one-shot) so we could report to the "police of bad taste" and get a totally not the same guy "Vincent" arrested. And of course, when he gives us material, every other word is intentionally misspelled and has random capitalization.

>>55270184
what a douche

>>55270184
sounds like tims got the bants

File: Dilemma.png (93KB, 1327x326px)

93KB, 1327x326px

>>55239180

>now we have 8-9 players of D&D in the group
>we reach the city where I can get my corrupt guard captain healed(so I can arrest him later)
>can't find a priest
>later find out that some other player could have healed him but whatever
>we find out that suddenly are playing in the Dragonlance setting because there was a mention about the War of the Lance
>DM said we are playing a homebrew campaign
>personally would have done research about the setting if he told us earlier
>Meanwhile in Real Life, DM has had spats with one of the best Lawful Good players I've known
>constantly tries to get him to shut up and argues
>LG player starts to be arrogant because DM is trying to punish him
>one player who sides with the DM basically says: "I NEVER WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME EVER BECAUSE I HATE YOU."
>and all the while we are all playing at LG player's house
>later move to a new location
>now players are dividing themselves into factions of good aligned players versus chaotic neutral players
>campaign later implodes on itself

Its not in the exact order of events but a good summary of those turbulent weeks

Pic related was a story I shared in a /5eg/ thread some months ago about the same campaign. The DM basically wanted to make us feel bad for going after the local thieve's guild and their sexually molested Tiefling leader(which the DM said as part of her backstory that we didn't need to know unless asked about). DM also gave me xp for trying to help my corrupt guard captain but had no idea I wanted/wouldn't let me arrest him.

>>55270921
>deal to protect the town
>can't stop orks from raiding
they deserved it.

>>55265491
Yes, and Dragoncon was awesome.

>>55239180
>Not Being the DM
>Not convincing your friends to play with you
>Not Forcing uninterested people into it

Being the DM and forcing my mates to play was one of the best times i've had

>>55250180
Was thinking that too anon

>>55243808
Don't call my name

>>55270921
Damn.

>>55258973
But he didn't throw it into the ocean. That got retconned by the DM because he wanted it to fuck with the party.

>>55254900
Maybe you're a faggy ass DM who's not self conscious enough to acknowledge his own problems about his own shittily-ran game, and the other guy is also a pompous ass, but you want to be a passive-aggressive chucklebucket. Maybe both your spheres of self unawareness have collided, and vortexted into its own little shitshow.

>>55254543
Sounds like he's a "fan of the players".

File: IMG_7677.jpg (38KB, 405x650px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 405x650px

>join group on roll20
>VoIP on discord
>GM has voice activation on
>he uses speakers so anytime anyone says anything it's echoed through his shitty mic
>ask him to use PTT
>he refuses

I quit right there because fuck that.

>>55274262
Thats a pretty legitimate reason to bail. If a guy can't even be bothered to take a slight inconvenience to fix a major sound issue that could easily disrupt gameplay, he shouldn't be DMing.

>>55273873
Did you read his story?
Whether or not he is good at DMing is irrelevant.
The other guy hasn't played in any of his games.
He even said he's not braggy about it.
The other guy has absolutely no right to shit on him.
Work on your reading comprehension m8.

File: 1469450626325.jpg (11KB, 343x295px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 343x295px

>>55255675
>you can take your flumphs and shove them up your ass
mother of mercy

>>55275175
Nonsense, you're hearing a one-sided perspective, so from someone who is not self aware you're basically the Mary Sue hero of your own adventure. Also people have a right to shit on anyone. For example, you're a faggot.

>>55275430
Assuming the storyposter anon is at least correct about the other guy not having been to his sessions at all, in any capacity, which i'd fucking hope he'd notice that, the other guy is still a fucking asshole for taking potshots over nothing.

You can be as skeptical as you want, but at the same time there's no reason to doubt that part of his story.

>>55275430
I sure hope i never have to play with YOU.
Thatest of guys.

>>55275693
Anon, pls.


>I only come to tee gee cuz of the stories, my friends and I just like to drink then play cards or dominoes. Playing Risk, just reading the rulebook, got us into a heated argument.

>>55241277
>>We don't attack them, they've technically not done anything illegal
Coercion is actually both illegal and immoral. As good characters, even if you didn't feel up to fighting them, you should have reported them.

>>55277648
Well, they technically said something closer to, "I really hope we find this guy. Who knows what might happen?" While giving us a look. But yeah, we probably could have gone to the guards. We attempted to keep an eye on them but they really weren't searching for him, literally just waiting for someone to bring him. That's why we just decided to protect the NPC.

>>55278265
See, that's the key point. You believed in the strange men enough to seek out the NPC and tried to protect him. Which, in my book, would have been huge Good points, but you definitely should have resolved that more directly.

>>55241401
It's cuir bouilli, it means boiled leather (so some from of armor I guess?)
T.Frenchfag

>>55274262
>he wont even use headphones

Yeah I would have told him to fuck off or done the same. Except put my mic right next to my speakers for maximum feedback.

>>55242167
totally done this before in a game of RIFTS. playing a Bio-Pneuma-form Dolphin. he jumped out of the water as a another character deflected the shot of some mech. my brother (gm) rolled to see if it hit me. he rolled a nat20 and I was vaporised. luckily his twin brother with the exact same stats was right behind him

>>55265153
Tbh, there are issues with stuff becoming mainstream. Rather than having all the systems and numbers we currently have, new games will become simpler to the point of being stupid, like if every thing was Ninja Burger or something. Less serious.

Of course, with tabletop games it's not like the old versions stop working and it's relatively easy to design our own, so this is not that big an issue... but it's still an issue with being infested by normies.

Having new players is good, having a bunch of people who have nothing to do with it jumping on it due to a fad isn't. Though I'm sure the companies would love the short-term increase in income!

>>55278391
why.jpg
the cops got them good enough. no one got hurt. Win win.

>>55282208
>Having new players is good
>Bringing in new players is bad
I don't think you know how that works anon

>>55250582
So every two-bit sorcerer can destroy Excalibur whenever they want to?
You sound like a promising future GM m'boy

>>55282226
Having new players is good. Having new people who will never become players being brought over in such a high rate that they become the new target audience is not. It eventually kills the game.

The issue is that these folk are not coming to tabletop games because they like tabletop games, they're doing it because of a tv show. They'll likely play once or twice and stop, so if the games start changing to accommodate them, everyone loses.

>>55282214
Because you wouldn't have had to intrude on the NPC's life like that playing faux-vigilante.

>>55239180
>DM huffs and takes a long breath before telling us we now all have PTSD


FUCKING LOL.

>>55282884
it was, like, super traumatizing

>>55249885
>>55249930
lol this exchange is why I love /tg/

>>55270184
Based Tim.

>>55283819
Just walk it off, I guess.

>>55239180
GM who may not be That Guy
>GM doesn't like my character because she's a bit of a bitch (which I accept, I'm trying to tone her down) and wants her to die.
>Decides that since the party (and especially my character, Morwenna) has breezed through most things so far, that he's going to properly try to kill us.
>Plot arc puts through his own personal version of the tomb of horrors, with trap after trap and encounters whittling us down.
>Solve a puzzle he thought we wouldn't solve and get rewarded with as much gold as we can carry. GM is not happy at this point, since he thought we wouldn't solve that puzzle, and only put the room full of gold there to taunt us.
>short rest, regain some health, but still low on spell slots.
>ascend the temple, reach the top level, and get to the boss, and awakened (though weakened) God which the GM later admitted was CR 15 (we were a lvl 5 party)
>Wizard casts wall of fire which catches the party healer and incinerates him. Now have no healer.
>We beat on the god with magic weapons and actually do some fair damage.
>He flies up out of reach of us, but the party launches my character into the air, I grab his leg, and start stabbing him in the dick.
>With most of the party weak or dead, my character down and out, th party's NPC tag-along grabs a magic dagger, throws it with disadvantage, rolls the exact number he needs to hit, and exact damage roll he needs to kill.
>We killed a fucking god.
>GM immediately ragequits because we were supposed to fail.

>campaign idea is told to us
>Last campaign was total shit so already not liking it
>New campaign sounds boring
>Say I don't want to be part of it
>DM gives me shit
>Whatever nigga.png
>Few weeks later realize I should be part of it because I should support friends who are playing it
>Play
>Setting's boring, NPCs are boring, combat is boring, roleplaying is boring, everything is boring
>DM nerfs me because my ability to detect if magic is going to explode or heal is "OP" for some reason
>The next session is worse
>Goes from boring to fatigue inducing, just want to take a nap to avoid the needlessly hostile NPCs
>"Oh you don't want the necromancer, obviously evil guy to watch your village while you go on adventure? Alright, no one else wants to either now"
>To get someone to watch it we basically have to sell all our armor because everyone hates us now for no reason
>Fuck it, I'll just create some undeads to watch over town, and I'll like that it's using golem magic
>"Oh people can tell the difference between that and golem magic?"
>"They can just sense it"
>Sell all armor to protect village
>Go on adventure
>We all almost die due to no armor but DMPCs crawl out of my heavily damaged ass to "save the day" by easily slaughtering our opponents
>They get part of the experience too
>They call us idiots for trying to do anything and then fly away
>Whatever, my friend found a cool thing to do-
>It turns out to be a meme of pickle rick
>Fuck it, quit the campaign
>Other players quit
>DM blames me for being overly negative towards him
>Posts about me on bad players thread
>In real life I call him a weine
>He blocks me
>one week later he wants to DM again and invited me

>>55284527
Pussy should be amazed rather than butthurt. The gods of luck blessed you that session.

>>55243808
There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright.

>>55284615
My character had the best streak of luck. I passed four 25% or less saves which would have disabled or killed my character, and the npc who threw the magic dagger, I calculated, had only an 11% chance of making that throw and rolling the amount of damage he needed.
A single 11% chance decided the fate of the party, since pretty much everyone else was down and out by that point.

>>55243577
>the DM explains that in his setting there is a giant tree that moves one inch per year and it casts a massive dispel magic field that you can't avoid and it just walked close enough to affect us

Clearly your DM can't math, an inch per year is about 0.3 millimetres per day. The only way for that to suddenly envelop you is if you were running into it because you're fleeing.

5e I need help.

If I was to obtain an NPC's blood, what spells would be of use over them using this as a component?

Please and thank you.

>>55249796
>MagicalRealm.jpg

>>55283819
Does that mean you get Magical PTSD?

>>55256564
First two are fine
3, 4 and 5 might not be ThatGM if he honestly though the party could handle it (of course that depends on how much stronger the monster is)
3 through 6 are also okay if the players want such a game for reasons I would not understand.

>>55284720
Try asking the 5e thread?
Divination is usually easier with people's blood.

>>55251095
Oh fuck, I vaguely remember you.

That shit was infuriating.

>>55256564
Every single one is That GM

>>55284544
>Few weeks later realize I should be part of it because I should support friends who are playing it
This is your first and biggest mistake right here. You don't HAVE to support your friends no matter what. It's a nerd social fallacy to feel like friends should do everything together, and frankly you should realize that sometimes your friends interests will not line up with yours and you shouldn't have to tolerate it and be bored and miserable trying to "support" it. I have tons of friends that I love but would NEVER invite to a table top session for various reasons, such as I believe they would suck at it, or they wouldn't like it.

>Fuck it, I'll just create some undeads to watch over town, and I'll like that it's using golem magic
>"Oh people can tell the difference between that and golem magic?"
>"They can just sense it"

Golem: Uncanny valley amalgamation of a material like stone or clay that is given locomotion and sentience
Undead: Formerly sapient creature's corpses given locomotion through black magic

It's not that hard to tell the difference, anon...

All of the above aside though, he sounds like a railroading cockmunch, and I'm actually very sympathetic to you cause I've been dealing with that recently with my DM who I thought was above that shit. I'll talk about it in the next post.

>>55288997
>slap thick coat, boots/gloves and mask on an undead
>tell peons it's a golem using cloth for the outside shell and they should not remove it
that can work if they're stupid or don't know much about magic

>>55288997

>Player at my table for a long time, was a reasonable player, aside from his love of silly characters and silly things in general
>Wants to run a game of his own
>Campaign is very silly, make a somewhat straight-laced character to counter balance the silly but still have fun with the setting
>Game goes okay for awhile as we're settling into the flow of how silly the game is.
>Until we get to the MacGuffin girl
>She's trying to rob us, gets caught immediately, and then says that we were robbing HER
>Seems harmless AND stupid. Let her go in the woods
>Later find out she's super important to the plot
>Find out she likes carrot cake
>Since we have to go back there, want to make it a bit more fun to catch her
>Set up a large cage propped up with a stick and rope. Trying to catch her like an animal
>DM suddenly gets a frown on his face
>Says that a bear shows up all of a sudden and observes the situation before swatting at the cage and just disarming the trap altogether
>Then physically picks up the cake with it's bear claws before wandering back to where the girl was hiding
>"Okay?"
>The girl is suddenly very arrogant, reasonably spoken, and somewhat intelligent, and also somewhat aggressive
>Also apparently has decent magic powers and fighting capability
>He's very much trying to get her into our party
>Group doesn't really like her much since she stopped being a joke, and we don't really want a DMPC
>But we HAVE to take her.
>Okay, fine we take her back
>She gets us wrapped up in a rebellion plot against some noble families that we weren't really happy about
[...]

>>55289244
[...]
>Through certain methods, the DM allows us to get our hands on a level 9 spell scroll, which we promptly used
>Skipping some details, we had to manually kill the last family by sneaking in and murdering them dead
>We found a boatload of evidence in the basement of the last family that indicated they were plotting to murder the girl, the royal family, and the other noble families using a level 9 spell scroll. The one we had gotten.
>We all thought that the DM detected we weren't interested in the plot and was ejecting
>Nope
>It was more or less a trap
>The last family had paid the local church to auto-rez them in the event of their death
>Which they were doing less than 20 minutes after we murdered them
>At 3 am in the morning
>Because the church had "on-call staff" despite having no prior indication of any of this, or even that they had worshipers at night.
>Even though we were showing the King and Queen the boatload of evidence of their betrayal and attempted assassination of the girl and the royal family, the queen was going to allow them to be raised so they could hear "Their side of the story"
>After the argument died down, we spend an hour and a half negotiating with Assassins that were hired on retainer for the rebellion plot.
>Even though they were already very well paid and on retainer, DM keeps insisting that we pay them more
>One player and myself actually go bankrupt out of our own pockets paying the already paid assassins
>An insight check revealed that they were very "professional and competent"
>Assassin go on their way
>hour later, the guards arrest us for treason and murder
>When asked how, the DM says that the assassins "just got caught, and you didn't pay them enough, so the family made a counter offer and the assassins sold you out."
>All four of them?
>All four of them.
>All of this so he could have a court room scene and make phoenix wright references
>After we get out of all of that shit, try to leave town
>Nope
[...]

>>55284527
Why would he even stat the god out if you weren't supposed to have a chance? If you stat it, the players will find a way to kill it.

>>55289427
[...]
>Demon/Drow army subplot that we were trying to avoid and ignore rears it's head, the entire army is now at the gates and attacking right as we're about to leave with no other way out of the city
>Enthusiasm is dying quickly from all players at this point
>Stubbornly, we skip town by climbing over a part of the wall that's not attacked and leave the town to burn
>But we're still not allowed to ignore them
>They are now the main plot line
>They were after MacGuffin girl, and there are three more of them
>We HAVE to deal with them, there are no longer any other sidequests
>Make our way to the next town after several sessions of boring wandering encounter checks just during travel
>Almost every single day, because he was rolling the encounter check directly, and only one of those results were "nothing happens" on a d8.
>During these encounters, the DM is forcing more NPCs into our party, especially joke characters, like a flumph.
>Can't get rid of them
>Gettingtoochivalrousforthisshit.jpg
>FINALLY make it to town
>It's already under attack by demons looking for MacGuffin girl 2
>We actually wind up finding her in the refugee camp outside of town
>She's a stupid meathead jock
>Wants to go fight the demons
>Entire party doesn't want this to happen
>DM keeps pushing her on us through guilt tripping the main part of the group, with things like "What, you think I can't handle myself?" and "Why? Because I'm a girl?"
>Try to come with ways to store her out of harms way, like thinking about taking her to an out-of-the-way location that only our group really knows about
>DM: "Pffft, yeah, you think the demons won't just catch her? Nah, she's safer with you guys going into the demon army than she is at a place they logically shouldn't know about."
>"ESPECIALLY because they would immediately find her"
>Even though they couldn't find her in a refugee camp less than a mile away.

That's where we are right now, and frankly, I'm getting really sick of this shit.

>>55289584
Then call him on his railroading bullshit like a mature adult.

Has no one actually brought it up to his face that you guys don't want anything to do with this drow/demon whatever plotline and that giving you a macguffin waifu ain't gonna do jack diddly about that?

>>55239738
Assuming that these motorcyclists were going at highway speeds, only someone straggling far in the back would avoid being either decapitated or part of a giant pileup. And firing rocket launchers at someone near your friends that might've survived is retarded.

>>55282653
You'd have to use a 9th level slot in 5e terms to render the enchantment of excalibur null, at it would be a contest of your dispel vs the enchanter's enchantment skill.

>>55284544
>>Sell all armor to protect village
Why? Why would you care about protecting a town where everyone's an asshole?

>>55289766
Actually, yes, I've directly stated it to him myself that I wasn't really interested in the plot line with the drow. Nobody else is vocal about it though. The rest of the group isn't really motivated in general and just moves along with the plot. They only tell me they don't care too much about it after hours when DM isn't there. One of the group is the DM's buttbuddy and constantly sides with him during ANY thing that comes up even as slightly an argument and winds up talking over the DM to make arguments for him why we should just shut up and go along with it. He's also a nice guy in general and our friend, so there's that aspect of not really wanting to speak up in general, but even when I do speak up, because of autist buttbuddy and nobody else taking ANY sides vocally, whenever I speak up, he and buttbuddy assume I'm just being selfish.

>>55289902
Then your options are to wait it out and go with the plot to get it over with, record your conversations with the other guys and use it to prove a point, or leave.

Frankly speaking, the first is probably the only viable option unless you can get the other guys to side with you somehow.

>>55289943
I mean, yeah? I know? I'm not looking for your advice, friend, I'm here telling the story of what I've experienced.

>>55270604
Come on Vincent lighten up it's pretty funny

>>55289970
Fair enough. Still, i can't help but empathize. My groups got a couple guys where if you alienate one it'll alienate the rest, and that situation is just dicks.

>>55290084
No, I hear that. Honestly, Buttbuddy, in my opinion, is the real problem at my table. If I could just isolate DM alone and talk to him face-to-face without buttbuddy, I feel like I could make the situation more salvageable. The problem is though that Buttbuddy is a literal Tranny NEET stereotype down to the T, and gets rides from DM to and from the game. So not only can I not see DM without buttbuddy there, buttbuddy spends more time alone with DM because of the rides in his car that buttbuddy is getting.

Something I glossed over but might as well mention since I'm getting it off my chest, but I've noticed the DM also unfairly favors buttbuddy's suggestions over the rest of the groups. A quick example

>Buttbuddy and group run into a horde of undead while I'm not there
>Buttbuddy suddenly says that they walk up, use prestidigitation on the undead's shield, and says "See, you can look pretty with some work!"
>DM just completely runs with it, no rolls required, they turn a good part of 30 minutes of the session into a fashion show
>No in-lore reason or explanation for it
>It actually becomes the point of contention later on for another player having a huge outburst which eventually lead him to leaving the table
>Meanwhile, my idea of the carrot-cake trap is casually side-stepped around with a shrug
>My later idea of setting up a toll-booth on the only bridge leading to and from the demon-infested city, with the intention of slowing down the demons from wandering out of the city and trying to attack the refugee camp, is shot down with a shrug and the DM saying "They can just fly you know"
>This after allowing Buttbuddie's idea of stacking up several "horses" in a giant trench coat to sneak around some guards is met with laughter and no rolls needed.

>>55290260
Thats just fucking terrible

>>55290260
>a toll booth to slow the demon horde
>papers please: demonic horde edition
>not loving this idea
What is wrong with your dm?

>>55241814
>Denny's

Already at a bad spot in life huh kid?

>>55290260
natt and max?

>>55291265
>>55290295

Exactly. The toll booth was hilarious but shot down. I think buttbuddy might have frowned at it and that might have been why, but I think that's just paranoid conjecture on my part.

>>55291734
No, and I shudder to think that there are people who are in a situation this closely related to mine.

>>55289885
I did it because my character cared about the village because he was born there, so I had to, even if they were cunts, or else it would seem weird for my character
I know
>that's what my character would do
but it would seem weird if he decided
>fuck it, I grew up with you people but it's time to die due assholes murdering all of you
I probably should've just shot everyone and died in a blaze of anger

>>55292174
You could have turned that into
>What? All of you hate me now? I can't handle this betrayal of what I thought were my loved ones at this drop of a hat that is completely unexplained. May you all burn in hell for the scorn you have shown me. May you be cursed for returning my love with your pettiness.

File: 1501308342699.jpg (6KB, 261x163px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 261x163px

>>55292174
>that's what my character would do
I've seen this phrase pop up more and more often, what's wrong with it? I know the source is usually when someone is playing a bad character / someone who doesn't fit with the group, but I don't like the break from IC and OOC in so much OOC informs IC without any reason.

>>55292254
I really should've, that could've been fun
It probably would've been a nightmare because we once did a shadowrun one shot where this happened
>magic user man who is evil because he needs money really badly so he can save his dear mother, but is willing to do awful shit for it
>we need to steal some guy's brain for some plot reason
>finding info on him is annoying because it's super secret
>oh wait we found him in public
>fuck it, let's do it right now, we might never see him again
>use mob mind to control everyone around him and him
>have them and himself claw open his skull to pull out his brain and give it to us
>DM is horrified, players are laughing out of horror because it's so awful
>it works
>tell them to forgot what happened so we have nothing on us
>DM looks cheeky and says
>"it doesn't work that way"
>oh well, use my tiny gun to kill yourselves with
>"but you don't have enough ammo"
>okay, rip each other apart
>players laugh even harder, one of them left the room but her laughter is now mixed with screams of horror
>DM goes into a permanent angry look for the rest of the oneshot
>throws a hole bunch of horrific shit at us "because we deserve it
>everyone, no exception, attacks me
>heavy armor saves me
>players are all built for murder
>we kill everything
>DM is holding head in hands while screaming periodically at players for being cheerful
>said "it wasn't supposed to be this easy"
>at the end the Mr. Johnson reveals himself to be necromancer and hits me with a death stick that insta kills me
>no rolls or whatever
>said I deserved it
>walks away into his room
>at his own house
>we all scuttle away from his house
>a week later
>"hey guys I gotta another oneshot, just don't ruin it this time"

>>55291375
>>55243808
>>55241926
Damn, I didn't realize Denny's was that much of a hellmouth.
We would typically game until midnight at DM's bookstore, then go out for dinner and post-game bullshitting at one of the only two options available.
The other was an IHOP, and it was consistently terrible.

>>55292357
The phrase is associated with bad because it's usually used for awful shit like
>I rape the orc babies
>I'm evil, so that's what my character would do

>first session before party meets us
>I won't interact with the party so no meet up with the rest of the party
>that's what my character would do

>steal from party
>rape party member
>shit self and smear it on the wall in game
>throw up into character's ear
>call other parties retards
>betray party
>rape party member's love interest to give her cuck baby
>use charm to make the king attack party
>shit in the king's eyeball
>rape the skeleton
>THAT'S WHAT MY CHARACTER WOULD DO
It's also about how acting in character is not always what's conductive for fun, and how fun should sometimes take precedent over what's makes sense for character
In this case, I should've abandoned the village, but I didn't because my character's backstory is about the village

>>55284527
>start stabbing him in the dick.
This story maybe fake, but this is always the proper method to dealing with every problem

>>55250612
Bruh 300 is not chubby, that's just fat.

>>55292357
Unless you're one of those people that just make your characters you, then you're character isn't you. Not being you, your character would, presumably, make decisions in certain situations that you yourself would not, given the same circumstances.

>>55292501
Denny's is where the vampire kids hang out. It's the lair of the Dark Lord of Denny's.

>DM has never DM'd a good thing until his latest oneshot
>which was really fun
>he has a new campaign idea
>I'm on board
>campaign is supposed to be political stuff
>make a character that can assassinate because sometimes it's needed
>other guy is fucking social extreme man, he can talk his way out of a fucking paper bag and into a dragon's vagina, with all of it's shit
>turns out the campaign is we're warped into another hell reality in an alternate history where the civil war was invaded by a necromancy who killed everyone but some bumpkins and assholes, then went to live inside of the white house
>okay that's interesting
>mine and other character don't really bound because I have to risk my life for his and vice versa even though our characters know jack shit about each other
>I guess the social shit is so we can lead our own revolution to defeat the necromancer!
>try to do social stuff
>no one likes us
>no one
>either violently attack us or tell us to fuck off
>not a fucking exception except for DMPC man
>who's boring wheat bread
>whatever, we'll try to rebuild society to make people like us
>despite not using money and needing to rebuild society to have a good life, they want to be paid in hundred dollar bills
>whatever, we'll go get some
>quest to get some is so fucking awful and boring
>final boss fight is one hit killed
>get magic item
>that only the DMPC can use
>get money
>oh they decided they didn't want to anymore
>whatever, we got some farm animals, which are like fucking gold out here
>oh they don't want them unless we pay them to eat them
>despite all of them being super hungry because no food
>mine and other guy's character, despite being best friends in real life, and gay lovers for one night when we got too drunk, are as cold as fucking frozen sausages to each other because our characters have no reason to like each other except for the person behind the character
>character interaction is just talking meta now
continue in next post