What if the Emperor was homosexual and that's why he had

>>55222269
Women carry inferior genes

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>>55222269
>if

>>55222269
>if
>Literally everything ever written about his relationship with Malcador

>"Oh my sweet God Emperor, you are so brave and strong and handsome! Please, let me have your babies!"

"Oh, uh, right. About that. I can't. I mean, sure, I'm a macho guy and I love sweet poontang like all macho guys, but uh.. One time I was totally doing it, like with a girl, of course, and I was loving her sweet poontang, but my psychic power was so great that she, uh, died and stuff. From that day forward I swore never to have sex with a-- never to have sex. Now matter how much I LOVE sweet poontang, right guys?

>oiled up, musclebound male companions all snicker

>"Oh, but Emperor, I would gladly give my life for you, so.. if you ever feel like you can't stand it any longer.."

"Not happening, sister."

>snickering intensifies

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>>55222269
Only real men fill their "clone-sons" with their "gene-seed". Too bad you need to bang some daughters a few times.

He created a race of big manly men that reproduce by inserting their gene-seed into little boys. I don't think there was any doubt about this.

>>55222269
Why would a near-perfect human be a faggot? Faggotry is nothing more than lust incarnate, which is the field of Slaanesh

>>55222269
He could've created his sons through budding if he just wanted children who don't inherit his powers.

>>55222269
He has biological children, look up the sensei

>>55222692
Gay is the manliest there is because it doesn't involve women.

>>55222269
What if OP was a homosexual and he was slowly dying of AIDS?

>>55223415
The only cure for AIDS is (You)s. It remains to be seen if this thread can save his life.

>>55223437
I'm sorry to inform you, my new friend, but OPs get (OP)'s

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>>55222269
What if the Emperor was a girl and that's why she always had her blinding aura on?

>>55222692
What exactly makes being gay anymore lustful than being straight?

>>55224133
He's catholic. Sex without the intention to procreate is sinful.

>>55222269
>what are the sensei

>>55224518
Nobody cares about your weeaboo fanfiction.

>>55225092
Are you retarded?

>>55223512
>Mark 7 armour
>Grey Knights
>On Horus' Flagship

Consider my autism activated.

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>>55222269

>homosexual

stop projecting you fucking fantasies you puff

no he was just a virgin, thousand year old virgin
you don't become psychic just like that, he is wizzardest of all wizards.

>>55224133
Gay sex has no purpose besides pleasure.

>>55222269
Now at least we know why he was so dead set on convincing people that there was no god.

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>cloning
>he has not heard th tale of Kronar, Son of Man
Educate yourself a little, OP.

>>55222269
But the emperor is immune to diseases, and mental illness is caused by the chaos gods
> inb4 banned for a shitpost

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>>55222490
This should be canon.

>>55226217
Then why is he so autistic?

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>>55222692
Don't you /pol/tards ever get tired of being wrong ALL the fucking time? I mean really now.

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>>55222269

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>>55222692
/pol/ are biggest faggots

>>55229080
It's just some dudes sharing a bed, relax bro

>>55225207
She made everything turn out well

>>55223328
>>>55222269 (OP)
>He has biological children, look up the sensei

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Sensei

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>>55223512
What if it was something in between?
Like the God Emperor from Five Star Stories, what if he was a trapilicious perfect being worthy of everyone's worship?

>>55225216
>LoL at that graph
Had mine til 21 and kinda late bloomed. Managed to keep it a secret and now i am a chad/smash on the reg. Buddy of mine "lost" his at like 15 and dated a ton of chicks in high school. Until later i found out he was running thru so many girls because he couldnt get it up cos he jerked off all the time/performance anxiety, and was super embarrased so he kept dumping them. Now hes on a 5 year dry spell and sells kendamas to 12 year olds at a mall. Shit happens

>>55222692
/thread

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>>55230444
In the "Imperium wins" scenario I'm currently cooking up, the Emperor plucked his eyebrows on the way, shaved his legs and then he was a she so things be pretty different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KaWSOlASWc

>>55222490

I'm surprised that you haven't considered that the Emperor would find sex far beneath him. Remember, the Emperor is basically a god. Having sex with a woman that isn't on his level would be like child abuse - he'd be taking advantage of a toddler's awe of an adult.

Worse, it might be like bestiality. It's like if an animal comes up to you and nuzzles your hand, you don't feel the urge to fuck it. The animal doesn't know any better.

It's more like "Sure, I like women...But fucking you would be wrong. It would be an abuse of my authority. Like, someone has to be a responsible adult here."

>>55225207
Don't forget Ultramarines on Horus Flagship

>>55233629

>The Emperor's Beard arrives

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>>55233629
>It's like if an animal comes up to you and nuzzles your hand, you don't feel the urge to fuck it.

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>>55224464
no that can't be right

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>>55232678
This sounds enough like >>55230711 to be relevant to my interest.

>>55222269
>Sensei don't exist

>>55222543
Every time I see this picture I love it more.

Each generation gets more disgustingly moe from the retarded gene pool.

>>55232678
Correct me if im wrong but couldn't the Emperor change his body at will? I remember reading something when he was recruting his primarchs he approached them in a different body than his.

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>>55222269

>>55234916
okay fella there is a story in the Tome of Fate thas tell us how a little girl with his dog reach the way to the imposible fortress, that fucking girl can easily be the fucking Emprah

>>55235029
You misunderstood me, i looked at the pic and the question sprung on me, i'm not replying to that post.
But is that a yes?

>>55231093
>now i am a chad/smash on the reg
Can you guess how I know you're lying?

>>55235029
It's more likely to have been Cegorach.

>>55225971

If you're using sex for more than pleasure you're contributing to this little issue commonly known as "the entire human race".

Whether or not homosexuality is immoral you've got to admit that that homosexuals, sexually promiscuous drug users who are obsessed with appearance, are Slaanesh fodder.

>>55239190
Well yeah but anyone who's a sexually promiscuous drug user obsessed with appearance is Slaanesh fodder, straight or gay.

>>55234916
>Correct me if im wrong but couldn't the Emperor change his body at will?

Yes. The Emperor didn't even have a "true" physical form. He was just a gestalt collection of psychic energy

>>55239460

Yep, made up of a bunch of old shamans, which are basically prehistoric priests.
Which explains the whole "insert my gene seed into little boys" thing.

>>55239460
According to outdated fluff...

>>55232678
>>55223512
Whoa, those emperors are pretty. I'm going to renounce my chaotic ways and properly worship and tribute that cutie.

>>55224133
Strait sex is limited by the woman's low lebido
Gay sex lacks that limiting factor
T. Faggot

>>55226264
Ah sweet Kitten

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>>55222269