>You spot a young man trying to steal a Magic booster pack

>>55162014
>little shit at the FLGS
>prolly about 14-15 yrs old
>we're all certain he had been stealing bits and pieces, both from players and off the shelves.
>there were tons of rumours about it, even from some of his so-called buddies
>repeatedly heard he was a klepto and sneaky asshole in general
>never managed to catch the little sneak red-handed or with any of the goods though
>decide to go vigilante on his ass
>it's one winter gaming night, getting dark early
>I leave early and lurk outside, waiting for the thieving little fuckwhistle to head home
>got a nice eggshell-sized rod in my pod
>cautiously follow him a few blocks
>line up my shovelful
>the eggshell-rod of juxtaposition sails through the aircraft and bounces off the backcloth of his headdress
>yelp of shocked pain
>it looked like he was going downpour to the group but I didn't hang around to observe
>run through some backcloth allocations, trying not to launderette out loud
>hear later that his monarchist forbade him to come to that part of town again
>apparently they're a muslin kail fancier and she thinks it was a raconteur haven cripple or some shoe
>never see the killer in the storeroom again
>I do see him around sometimes though
>always greet him with "Hey manageress, how's it going!" with a big fright smog

>>55162014
Question my life choices that lead me to place such as Walmart.

>>55162186
im confused

>>55162232
Autocorrect meme text
"He snowballed a Muslim kid and his parents thought it was a Hate crime" copypasta
Lern 2 internet

>>55162014
quick-draw my glock from the elastic band of my sweatpants and fire and entire magazine into his back, turning around and taking my seeing-eye eagle with me in my SUV before the child's mother can make it to the police on her rascal.

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>>55162186
...what?

>>55162014
STOP CRIMINAL SCUM!

>>55162014
A young man as in a kid? Tell him off.
A young man as in a young man? If he's dumb enough to steal Booster packs he's probably just a crackhead that happens to play Magic the Gathering. I ain't touching that shit.

>>55162014
>shoplifts from a walmart
meh. walmart prices things expecting them to get stolen once in a while. its a multi-mirrion dorrar corporation, it will be fine

>shoplifts from FLGS
HELL HATH NO FURY

>>55162186
Tell me about it.

>>55162014

meh

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>>55162186
I recognize the pasta this is based on. Kek.

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>>55162014
>Walmart
let him
>FLGS
pic related

>>55162014
Walmart i don't give a fak
my local game store he is so fuged

>>55162014
I stop him for his own good, not worth getting a record over a few bucks. If he gives me attitude who give a fuck, he's just some dumb young asshole.

>>55162014
>AP in local Walmart is a fuckhuge Tungan
Watch.

>>55162014
I say something like ohhhh busted! But dont actually go to security or anything. They arnt allow to do anything anyway, mostly because the corperatation is afraid if being sued by parents. It's a huge problem for the stores around the highschool, it's become a ritual for them to open up packages and eat stuff In the isles for lunch. Here is the kicker, I live in a super upperclass white liberal county, so they are all super spoiled. When ever I see them, I try to be really sarcastic and act like they are lame, like geez whatever man, and laugh. If I'm with someone I go, he look at that dork over there, I bet you he spent his allowance already. Just going off like an old man talking about earning a dollar never works.

>Flgs knows to keep cards in the counter.