What magic card best describes your sex life? Give it a

File: Image.ashx.jpg (27KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 223x310px

>>55160941
We're hardly ever on the same page.

File: one-with-nothing-cropped.jpg (127KB, 464x664px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 464x664px

>>55160941
im lonely

File: Batterskull.jpg (2MB, 1632x2220px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1632x2220px

Do I need to explain?

>>55161662
please do

>>55160941
>Give it a brief explanation

way to ruin the joke

File: file.png (94KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 300x168px

>>55162038
batter = beat
skull = head
The joke is masturbation. Please clap

File: trialofam.png (127KB, 223x311px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 223x311px

>Explanation

nah you're alright

>>55162038
He hires a small black man to beat women unconscious then rape them while he, the "summoner" if you will, watches.

File: 1468298949821.jpg (143KB, 464x664px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 464x664px

Who needs sex?

File: 1503005038370.jpg (47KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 312x445px

>>55160941

File: Image.ashx(5).jpg (30KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 223x310px

So...lonely.

File: knotme.jpg (33KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 223x310px

>>55160941

File: anax-and-cymede-35195-medium.jpg (64KB, 277x401px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 277x401px

get fucked nerds

File: ec7f8981825d18b3972fe0f407610651.png (136KB, 198x285px) Image search: [Google]

136KB, 198x285px

>>55162527
>heteros
Gross

>>55162568
>homos
>not gross
The unawareness

>>55162527
You fuck your sister?

File: Image.jpg (27KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 223x310px

Not masturbation.

File: Image (4).png (115KB, 223x311px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 223x311px

>>55160941
I'm seeing a teenage girl

File: Tendrils of Agony.jpg (29KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 223x310px

My fetish

File: 21.jpg (65KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 312x445px

I DON'T NEED IT

File: Image.ashx.jpg (30KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 223x310px

Yep

>>55162949
nothing wrong with that

>>55162949

Gross

Unless you are teenage.

File: trueheart duelist.png (161KB, 265x370px) Image search: [Google]

161KB, 265x370px

Because I did it with two at once.

File: 1491973370217.jpg (212KB, 394x463px) Image search: [Google]

212KB, 394x463px

>>55160941
sodomy

>>55162077
If it makes you feel better, anon, you made me laugh twice.

>>55162273
orgasm denial/ruining

>>55162527
incest

>>55162568
dick fencing

>>55163855
brainwashing

>>55162949
teacher/student realtionship

>>55163823
>>55165745
S&M

>>55166815
Threesome

>>55162939
>>55162512
>>55163367
obvious

File: enslave.jpg (65KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 312x445px

>>55160941

File: earthbind.jpg (38KB, 264x377px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 264x377px

>>55160941
REALLY GUYS?

File: 138.jpg (70KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 312x445px

>>55160941

>>55161600
HEY THAT'S ME AS WELL

File: 331.jpg (64KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 312x445px

my ex lmao

File: Men of Culture.jpg (51KB, 1024x576px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 1024x576px

>>55162949
>>55167871
>>55166815
>>55162939
>>55167933

>>55166576
hi tumblr

File: Image.jpg (31KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 223x310px

>>55162568
This + my picture.
We're in a long distance relationship. I miss him.

>explaining the joke
This is why you suck /tg/

>>55165745
Daddy?

>inb4 a hundreds jokes about virginity

>>55169592
It's got nothing to do with tumblr and everything to do with being an adult.

File: IMG_1953.jpg (79KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 312x445px

Here's mine.

File: Image.png (126KB, 223x311px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 223x311px

>I miss those times so much

>>55171586
Yours was better at conveying what I wanted.

>>55171586
>>55171595
Thanks, dude

What was yours? I'm curious

File: 392650.jpg (28KB, 324x450px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 324x450px

>>55160941

File: 67507_200w.jpg (28KB, 200x288px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 200x288px

>>55160941
1

>>55171646
Forgotten Lore.

>>55161600
>wotcha thinking about?

>I don't know, volleyball and stuff

File: T4f0g2G.png (49KB, 1111x1024px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 1111x1024px

>>55171859
We're waiting on the good times now

>>55172073
Everything will turn alright for you guys, just wait

>>55170914
>fetishizing gays is adult
for american numales maybe

>>55173561
>fetishizing gays is adult
What did he mean by this?

File: 116483_200w[1].jpg (24KB, 200x285px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 200x285px

whyboner

Engaged, long term relationship.

File: ad_nauseam.jpg (45KB, 234x320px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 234x320px

>>55174681
Shit, thought you could attach URL for card image, pic related.

File: 32.jpg (64KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 312x445px

>>55160941
When you just went back to visit your friends and hung out with your ex, thinking of what could have been.

File: 1477894280526.png (1MB, 996x566px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 996x566px

Remember folks:

Shocklands are euphemisms for vagina

File: IMG_1954.jpg (70KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 312x445px

>>55173301
Been 4 years-ish? I might meet up with this Chinese girl this weekend.

>>55174253
This should be the default phrase instead of 'whyboner.'

>>55162949
Does she even look like Lili?

>>55170914
Being an adult means fucking as much teenage puss as physically possible before you get too old.

File: Image (147).png (127KB, 223x311px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 223x311px

>>55160941
/edhg/ mem

>>55177111

been 3 years for me, bout to fuck this super ugly but super nice coworker of mine this weekend

File: 392661.jpg (33KB, 324x450px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 324x450px

Some fun stuff.

File: curseofthirst.jpg (49KB, 265x370px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 265x370px

>>55160941
Mostly for the title.

>>55166485
damn right

>>55166576
tumbler

>>55177757
not at all, blond and all skin and bones, cute face and ass tho

>>55169740
There are no girls on the internet, therefore you are a gay.

File: 275.png (153KB, 265x370px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 265x370px

>>55176257
Holy shit, all dual lands by that extent

>ladies and gentlemen, my ex

File: Hope+Tender+%5BHOU%5D.jpg (30KB, 223x311px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 223x311px

>>55173301
I keep telling that to myself; thanks anon

>found you

File: lostsoul.jpg (34KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 223x310px

or case

>>55184159
Go to the doctor, dude

>>55176257
>>55183962
I don't get it
pls explain

File: Raging Cougar.jpg (55KB, 312x445px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 312x445px

>>55160941
Could be worse...

>>55182804
And what about her feets?

>>55188130
nice

>>55188987
Don't be creepy, bro.

File: Melancholy.jpg (28KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 223x310px

>>55160941
Sad face.

>>55176257
>stomping ground

>>55185587
Don't tell him how to live his life

>>55162949
How teenage we talking about, here? Are we talking half-your-age teenage? Because I'm not doing too well on that front.

>>55196350
What do you mean?

>>55196683
He wants to bang teenagers but isn't getting any

>>55198541
It isn't that hard
All you have to do is make her feel pretty and buy her stuff
Anyone can do it

I uh
I live dangerously

>>55199038
But that's for when you're already with them, how in god's name do you get one in the first place?

File: 1498729611802.png (231KB, 500x735px) Image search: [Google]

231KB, 500x735px

>>55167248

If there's a card that clearly enough states "never going to get any even once", I'm not aware of it.

>>55202826
Taken from a rather suspicious thread:
>They usually roam in malls during the afternoons, try the Abercrombie & Fitch or Hot Topic or American Eagle stores, on rare occasions you can find them at the arcade.

>>55205436
I see

>>55167819
>Built to Smash
I love it

File: MindbreakTrap.jpg (32KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 223x310px

>>55160941

>>55207449
Storytime?

File: Image (1).jpg (30KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 223x310px

>>55203589
gotchu sempai

File: Bound in Silence_FUT.jpg (200KB, 672x936px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 672x936px

Although lately it's been more like >>55161600

File: hotp.jpg (28KB, 223x310px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 223x310px

>>55160941

>>55171162
Got me

>>55205436
Protip: Ask girls if they're over 18. If you suspect they aren't, demand to see an ID

>>55213573
Funfact, girls don't like being accused like that, especially not about their age
Earlier this year during uni orientation week I was hanging around with these girls, we're having a good time. I'm a barman (and they knew) so I'm a little bit aware when it comes to drinking laws. I've been buying them rounds, and by the 4th I half-jokingly ask 'so you girls are 18 right?'
Instant turnoff. Lesson learned, its better to infer age rather than ask. Don't deal with girls whose age you question, or ask but be prepared to lose em

File: Ever-After-Shadows-over-Innistrad-Art.jpg (130KB, 1188x869px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 1188x869px

the wedding's even in October

>>55162038
lots of germs