Scary nature thread. Post stuff that would be right at home as monsters or environmental dangers for a fantasy campaign.
This is Clathrus archeri fungus, commonly known as octopus stinkhorn, or devil's fingers. Apparently it smells like putrid flesh when it has matured and deployed it's "arms"
Xenomorph eggs anyone?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clathrus_archeri
>>55093001
African armored ground cricket.
Cannibalistic and can squirt a blood-like substance up to 5 cm to deter predators
>>55093055
Here's a fun little bugger we really don't know much about yet. The antarctic worm species called Eulagisca Gigantea.
>>55093001
>>55093102
That's the most fabulous graboid I've ever seen
>>55093102
Some really fucking weird fish caught off the coast of Russia.
>>55093177
>>55093185
>>55093185
>>55093177
what's this then?
WHAT THE HELL THIS THREAD
FUCK
FUCK THAT
FUCK THIS
>>55093247
Hawaiian carnivorous caterpillar.
The Cordyceps is a fungoid parasite that "remote controls" it's host even after death of the host has occured. Usually only infects ants and wasps but scientists recently found a strain that has evolved to infect large spiders.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cordyceps
>>55093181
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE KILL IT WITH FIRE NOPE NOPE NOPE
>>55093102
So THAT'S where staple-removers come from!
I've never seen one before it was harvested and mounted.
I knew I kept this around for a reason.
>This entire thread.
At times I wonder if the Demons and monsters most think are "fake" or "fantasy", are already here on Earth, and are far, *far* worse than anything we could possibly imagine.
These little structures protect spider eggs in the Amazon. They grow up to make nests that camouflage with the corpses of their prey.
Not incredibly creepy, but imagine stumbling upon a group of those structures scaled up.
>>55093494
This is one of their nests. Just fucking covered in dead spider food.
>>55093514
Hansel and Gretel missed out by not having the Gingerbread house encrusted with children's bones on the inside.
>>55093356
>>55093181
That's a frilled shark. They live in deep high pressure waters and die when they reach surface leveled waters. They're harmless to people.
See this little fucker? You may think he seems cute, and possibly even harmless right? Well you're dead wrong. That is a Japanese Mountain Leech, and it is not confined to bodies of water like most of its kind. This little shit will cling to solid surfaces, and flail around trying to reach you, and once it latches on, it will proceed to chew through your clothes to get to your delicious, and tender flesh. Not that terrifying, but still pretty disturbing.
Here, have a Chimaera for your troubles /tg/.
>>55093727
>If it gets close just hit it with shampoo
Haha seriously fuck nature
Animals being tricky is terrifying.
>>55093179
>That's the most fabulous graboid I've ever seen
Best post
>>55093818
Dat airtime tho
>>55093485
Not a day goes by where I don't wonder if I'm actually in some sick hell.
>>55093916
In the last (I think) deep sea hell thread, someone posted that sea louse that hunts females, rapes them, and then they get eaten by their babies while dying in a pile of other females.
Fuck nature.
>>55093916
Russia exists, so it may be true.
>>55093102
>>55093727
That's one of the fuckers that ate Amelia Earhart.
>>55093102
Oh wow, it looks like a golden toilet brush with teeth
Bobbit worms.
>>55093494
Oh wow, they make little fences to protect their babies
That's cute as fuck
>>55093916
>>55093944
If people ever tell you that monsters and demonic abominations "don't exist", simply tell them to take a proper fucking *look* at nature and see for themselves.
>>55094069
sarcasm much?
>>55094069
What's really neat is they don't follow the same egg strategy as almost every other type of spider, even accounting for the structure.
Instead of laying a large clutch like usual, each of those little spires only has 2 or 3 eggs in each.
>>55094447
From the thumbnail I thought it was just a bloated tick or something.
I shouldn't have opened it.
>>55094433
Rhinoceros beetle?
>>55094577
Wise words, suffered same fate. So much worse than a bloated tick.
>>55094595
I think so
>>55094447
Looks like candy
This is why you don't let yourself get intestinal parasites, people.
>>55094796
I'd actually have to debate with myself whether or not to show the patient what had been inside them.
A large part of me would think it's a kindness to just never let them see, regardless of how curious they might be.
>>55094796
Is the the parasite itself or is that parasite wrapped in intestine?
>>55094796
Did they cut out part of the intestine with it? Speak of overkill, ain't there an easier way?
>>55093386
10/10
>>55093514
I'm loving the idea of a monster who's home looks like rock formations or even glittering gold from a distance. But when you get closer you see the drained corpses and bones.
>>55094796
I don't understand what I'm seeing here.
also I would debate most people have parasites inside them, we just aren't aware of it because we don't go to the doctor every week since shit is expensive as fuck
>>55094854
The latter
>>55094859
If I recall correctly, the parasites inside the intestine killed it, so the only thing the doctors could do was surgically remove the tract. Poor bastard that had that inside him
>>55094859
>speak of overkill
well that or there's a parasite so persistent the only way to remove it is to amputate the piece of intestine it's attached to
which one you think's more likely?
>>55093944
>Cthulhuworld
>>55094955
Disgusting. I'm really happy all I get to complain about in western europe is sub-par weather.
>>55094937
western food tends to be clean enough most folks are free of macroscopic parasites
and generally speaking any microbiotic parasites tend to be chased away by the horde of symbiotic microorganisms who prefer our intestinal track be as healthy and functional as possible
>>55094989
That's good to know, imo. So generally we are safe from parasites?
>>55094937
We have plenty of microscopic organisms living on us, including very, very, very tiny worms that live on our eyelashes. That's alongside symbiotic bacteria that does everything from help us digest to fight against harmful bacteria on our skin.
As far as parasites though, that refers to not something that simply lives on or in us, but actually causes us harm, and those are very noticeable unless you have many other health issues.
>>55095007
it happens, occasionally folks tend to get parasites but even if you do end up with some unwanted passengers western medicine is of a sufficiently high quality they get discovered before they can do any real damage (or are the type that don't really do damage in the first place) or worst come the damage can be reversed
if you hear about these terrible untreated infestations generally speaking they're in poor countries with shitty healthcare, heck I believe at this point the majority of parasites by western folks are acquired on holidays
>>55094433
Cook 'em and they taste like peanut butter.
>>55095007
If you're worried about weird shit in your guts, just develop a taste for spicy food. Taco night is as hard on worms as it is on your asshole.
>>55095111
On it.
>>55095111
that's why India is notorious for it's safe for foreigners food that contains absolutely no parasites
>>55093818
What the fuck? Did it just chuck a fish in the air? I'm assuming this is to help it draw the seagulls to the water?
Imagine swimming in a sea of these
>>55093944
>sea louse that hunts females, rapes them, and then they get eaten by their babies while dying in a pile of other females.
I'm not sure weather to be proud or horrified of my own erection.
>>55095187
That doesn't look too bad.
Unless those are the ones that swim up your peehole.
Then no fucking thanks.
>>55095187
terrifying until you notice they have googly eyes
>>55095171
A country that eats cow shit and drinks carbonated cow piss and has designated shitting streets has more trying to kill you than just intestinal parasites.
>>55095218
PREDATOR
>>55095207
Indeed.
Without the eyes they'd be terrifying, with them they're actually kind of cute.
>>55095111
>>55095162
There's a reason why our stomachs have evolved to digest what is essentially a low-grade chemical weapon. It kills the bad shit in our guts before the bad shit kills us.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsaicin
>>55093001
I'm honestly disapointed because there's nothing new in this thread. Then again, I have nothing I haven't posted in /tg/ already.
http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/09/30/bdelloid-rotifers-80-million-years-without-sex/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/18/bdelloid-rotifers-sex-dna_n_2152426.html
>up to 10 percent of the active genes in microscopic bdelloids comes from bacteria and other organisms like fungi and algae
...You are what you eat.
http://www.sportfishingmag.com/news/needlefish-attacks-russian-tourist-and-paralyzes-her
The living arrow of the ocean
https://youtu.be/GCh3JdMMwY0
https://youtu.be/uVnDJMjNySg
https://youtu.be/_8FVpj0p-iU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_bzyAlspNI
https://youtu.be/eKK-_N7XO1s
https://youtu.be/EBYmiqad_-M
https://youtu.be/zv3bqTNzcrA
https://youtu.be/nFHyfmUr0Mo
https://youtu.be/lKXEKQb_hxo
https://youtu.be/XGM6sHIJuho
https://youtu.be/fU6XTZ1vEoM
https://youtu.be/BNPofhjkEto
https://youtu.be/nlRkwuAcUd4
https://youtu.be/qSSSSt-b9gk
https://youtu.be/3i_axpk0a7Q
https://youtu.be/ubNm5M2-LAc
https://youtu.be/kFV5tjo80QQ
https://youtu.be/2YZJt_Bw3eo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dvppzq4arC4
https://youtu.be/dNAk6oIKAjI
https://youtu.be/F6tvF1HtjLI
https://youtu.be/iSaOecltEjI
https://youtu.be/UKkrZ5LuJ-I
https://youtu.be/3H4J5QDQeA4
https://youtu.be/ctoBivu2NSE
>>55095410
>>55093944
>>55095449
>>55095470
>>55095498
http://optimalprediction.com/radiation-eating-fungi-they-kill-trees-and-they-kill-people/
>>55095205
>Unless those are the ones that swim up your peehole.
No, those in that pic are mostly harmless. The peehole-destroyers are far, *far* worse.
>>55095534In case it isn't clear, the dolphin is using a headless fish to fap.
>>55095498
You ever just get so excited about a fish you roll over and nom your mate's arm?
>>55095556
Man fuck dolphins
Not as bad as the one sea lion raping the penguin
>>55095181
Baby seal
Flung it into the air so that the impact would stun/kill it and be easier to deal with
>>55095218
You're one ugly motherfucker...
>>55095658
>Flung it into the air so that the impact would stun/kill it and be easier to deal with
It's a baby seal. It didn't fling it up into the air to make it easier to deal with. It flung it up in the air because killer whales are fucking murderous psychos.
>>55095556
>>55095644
>Dolphins
>Have intelligence almost on par with humans
>Use it to rape and torment your fellows for days on end, or until they die from the strain.
Damned Dolphins man.
>>55095729
Is it a coincidence that a dolphin's nose is basically shaped like a dildo?
And then there's this shit.
>This entire fucking thread
>>55095498
they're like retarded green dogs
>>55095846
That is terrifying
Bobbit worms
>someone found this worm in their coral tank
>can't physically remove it as it's many legs keep it anchored
>eats all the fish and even the coral
>fed it bait worm that's filled with glue and glass shards
>it still lived days after like nothing happened
I'm never quite sure whether to find these guys adorable or horrifying. Basically a hyper-evolved insect that's become a small bird.
>>55096180
Those live where I live. They're really cute.
>>55096070
It's worse when you read about how they're mistreated from birth and forced to perform on the street.
>>55096180
>Basically a hyper-evolved insect that's become a small bird
What the fuck are you doing, Nature?
>>55096209
They are cute, but I encountered one when I was a kid and thought it was a really tame hummingbird until I realized it had antennae and too many legs and I had a moment of Lovecraft-style SAN loss.
>>55096180
shit a few years ago I had one of these, it would shop up every once and awhile to eat from the flowers on my porch.
I always wondered what it was...
>>55093784
I got the reference, loved that movie!
>>55093784
>>55096355
Isn't it the movie where they just kill an alien by cleaning it's anus. I don't remember the name.
>>55096283
>naruto run
Goddamn weeb birds.
>>55096364
>>55096397
That still exists? Knights of the Zodiac run like that. It always looked like they were trying to take flight and yet took half a minute to cross 60 feet.
>>55096171
The second to last video here >>55095410 has one eating a lionfish. You know, that goddamn venomous thing full of thorny fins? It just disapears.
>>55096428
>>55096389
Evolution
>>55095410
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dvppzq4arC4
So is it true that the hairworm that comes out of the mantis has the ability to control the mantis's body and force it to go into water? There's not a lot about this species online yet.
>>55095410
I ain't clicking any of those thumbnails.
they look disgusting
>>55093916
>>55093944
>>55094078
Nature looks kinda horrifying, until you look closer and see that's it's actually really beautiful.
Until you look closer, and then it's really pretty horrifying.
>>55093001
>>55096680
Not the body exactly, but it does alter the bugs brain chemistry (thirst maybe?) and drives it to water.
Also, they have been recorded in cases of accidental parasitism in humans in East Asia. One even emerged out of a dude's penis.
http://parasitol.kr/journal/view.php?doi=10.3347/kjp.2012.50.3.263
>>55094433
>>55094595
>>55094682
>>55096355
>>55096389
I was referring to ATHF, but that works.
>>55096180
Fun fact: they sneak into your room at night to masturbate to you while you sleep.
>>55097055
>cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
>little boy blue, and the man on the moon
>when ya coming home grub?
>I don't know when, but we'll get together then man
>we're gonna have a good time then
>>55096180
Except they fuck with your tomato plants when they're larvae.
>>55095498
That first gator looks so fucking exasperated.
>"Really Dave? Like, really?"
>>55095171
Indian food really isn't terribly hot. Aside from vindaloo, most of it is more spicy in the "made with a lot of different spices" sense than the "will make you sweat" sense.
>>55093727
>this thing and a barnacle belong to the same species
>>55097230
Phylum bro, sub-phylum I guess if you want to get technical.
>>55096783
Congratulations, you're a saner person than me.
>>55096680
Don't know.
>>55097055
For a moment I thought the video would end with the rapeworm from GoT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfx9nyVn15M
>>55097175
>That's not okay man!
>>55095629
Not yet.
>>55095882
>retarded green dogs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEMTQYe1ro0
>>55095729
Maybe they also ate from the Tree of Knowledge and thus acquired the same vices.
>>55094433
>>55095774
Probably go to hell for posting this but...
>>55097230
>species
This little guy wears the dead carcass of it's enemy as a helmet.
>>55097331
>Maybe they also ate from the Tree of Knowledge and thus acquired the same vices.
But humans are able to temperatures those vices and actually make something of themselves. Hell, many Crows who hardly have the same advantages as us are capable of advanced techniques and tool-use. All that Dolphins seem to do with their vast intelligence is to use it to rape anything that moves.
>>55097446
Not really though, that's just a weird growth.
They all have them.
>>55097448
It might be since they're cursed to a life of high intelligence but lack any sort of limbs that allow object manipulation. Crows got talons and a reasonably movable beak and neck and octopuses have plenty of tentacles to poke and prod their environment. Dolphins are pretty much just stuck with their dicks.
Bump.
>>55097448
Okay, second theory: Adam and Eve went to the beach after being expelled from the Garden. They threw a half-eaten and rotten fruit at the water, where a dolphin ate it. Its newborn intelect was just as rotten and incomplete as the fruit itself.
>>55097446
That's called mimetism.
THIS is using the dead carcass of your enemy. This tiny fly lays its egg on an ant, the larva ends up decapitating it and using its head as a nest.
>>55093514
>It's a spider nest covered in random bits of leaves
>Read post
>Oh...
>>55093727
Fun fact: a group of coconut crabs is called a nightmare of coconut crabs.
chemin ramos
Nature is amazing and disgusting
>>55097556
Dolphins actually do use tools. They make use of sponges.
>>55094859
Supposedly some anon managed to kill a tapeworm by ODing on soda and energy drinks for about a week.
>>55096283
I fucking love Secretary birds. Best birdo. Just wants to stomp snakes.
>>55097404
I bought one of these once. The dildo jokes went on for months.
>>55097961
If you ever see one of these things actually swimming they go from creepy to helplessly goofy instantly.
>>55098128
Is it weird that that thing looks delicious to me?
How about a mushroom that's way less scary looking?
The humble little genus Amanita, an unassuming and worldwide occurring family of "fun guys" with a seriously metal nickname.
Don't eat it though...seriously, you don't want to do that.
>>55098489
It's got a sweaty meringue sort of look to it I guess.
>>55098521
You may see horses try to fly or a dog with periwinkle eyes, but peppered earth with chunks of sky, now there's a sight worth seeing!
>>55098521
>Don't eat it though...seriously, you don't want to do that.
What's the worst that could happen?
>>55096180
>>55096249
Technically, the ancestors or moths predate the ancestors of birds by a few million years, and both coincide with the appearance of flowering plants.
Also consider the iridescence of many common beetles, and the iridescence of hummingbird wings.
So the real question is; who's mimicking who?
>>55093001
These giant hornets are like Aztecs. They hunt and wage war not to kill or conquer... they fight to capture and bring the defeated back to the nest for the queen and her larvae. Like blood making the maize grow
>>55098687
Didn't those type of moths show up like 30-something mya just like hummingbirds though?
There must have been a lot of really awesomely tasty flowers requiring hovering and shit.
>>55098778
The honeybees where those giant Hornets live have developed a means to destroy them, though. Hornets need scouts to find bee nests, and the bees let them show up uncontested and ignored, letting the scout grow bolder until it's actually allowed into the thick of the nest.
Then the bees swarm it and just start buzzing and rubbing against each other. The bees don't fight or sting, since the hornet's armor is much too thick for such an assault, but the bees have a marginally higher heat threshold than the hornets, and so drive up the temperature through their movement as the hornet tries to kill its way out.
Eventually, the temperature threshold is reached, and the hornet is cooked to death, after which the bees simply go back to what they were doing, allowing the dead hornet to fall, discarded, to the ground. The scout dead, the bees have averted the attentions of a much larger assault from the hornets.
>>55098830
>red and yellow
is that a common coral snake?
good job spider. those are venomous
>>55095774
>>55097411
TWO!
LEGS!!!
>>55098830
You actually know where you stand with tarantulas. To date, no known species of dangerously venomous tarantula has been discovered. Other large spider species, yes, but not tarantulas. The worst they might give you is something akin to a mosquito bite, although their larger mandibles will probably do more physical damage.
Of course, a tarantula's preferred method of deterring attack is a threatening gesture, and if not that, then it fires its still leg spines at their aggressor's nasal passages, causing intense irritation and running nose.
>>55098851
Epic, like a giant toaster. Do the bees die too or can they withstand the heat?
>>55098858
Looks like it bruv
>>55098901
Dude, fuck those hairs. The librarian use to keep one back at my grade school. The bastard would kick those up if we ever started rattling the cage or tried to pick it up.
The librarian didn't keep a sign up. She didn't warn us four or five times. She told us once that her tarantula is not to be messed with. The spider did the rest
>>55098905
The bees have a higher heat threshold before they start dying, a few degrees higher than the hornets. They can survive the heat, although the hornet does kill a good deal of bees in its panic before it's cooked to death. Better the loss of some hive members than the whole colony by letting the scout send word back to its hive.
>>55098947
For the good of the hive. Love the undying, unfettered devotion and morale that hive insects have
>>55098905
>Do the bees die too or can they withstand the heat?
Seems that they can survive the heat well enough. Most of the death likely comes from the Hornet trying desperately to massacre its way through.
>>55098966
Well, until things start going wrong in the hive. In many hive insects like ants and bees, when the queen stops laying viable eggs, and is near or at the end of her viable lifetime, workers (who are all female) start spontaneously becoming fertile and turning into "princesses," who then make it their goal to kill the queen and each other until one remains to become the new queen. You stop providing for the hive, and the hive turns on you. Although some species mitigate this by having the queen purposefully make her own successor or successors who then take a contingent of workers and drones with them to make new hives.
>>55093727
i find them kinda adorable, as i am an owner of hermit crabs.
>>55098966
Shit that's cool, I knew ants worked as a unit but I've never actually seen it action. Nature really is amazing.
>>55099000
>dem digits
>>55098976
Again, it seems for the good of the hive in the end. "You're an old dusty bitch now, imma start laying eggs and keep the colony going." The contingent idea seems best though because you can colonize entire new areas.
>>55098905
>>55098976
Here's a link to a video:
https://youtu.be/K6m40W1s0Wc?t=22s
>>55099078
Thanks anon! Nature is fucking brutal
>>55098804
>be in a boat filming this
>they start coming at you
>>55093462
That's a crinoid. Working from memory I think the oldest known specimens go back to the ordivician. Fossils can be found all over the globe. They look like tiny beads. They're pretty cool and have always given off a big Lovecraft vibe to me. I think it's the way they move
Then again, sometimes it isn't
>>55093001
Stinkhorn fungus is pretty messed up.
Got told a story of a guy accidentally taking one home cause he thought it was another type of fungus.
He went out for a couple of hours, came back and the heat from being indoors or whatever had prompted it to "bloom" in that short a time.
Basically like OPs picture except a dildo looking thing sticking out of it instead of tentacles.
>>55099056
What sea life has vision good enough to force such a strong camouflage adaption?
... but usually it is
>>55094577
>>55094638
It's just a young momma.
>>55097446
>I haz a hat
>>55099164
These. Their eyes can see an array of colors that we humans cannot even comprehend. They either strike with hammer like fists or mantis like claws that move from 31 to 52 miles an hour. That's right: they go from 0 - 50 in the blink of an eye
>>55098966
I can almost hear the pikmin sounds.
>>55099221
I don't think octopuses need to be able to hide from those.
>>55098804
there's a lot of creepy nasty shit in the thread, but that's scarily intelligent
>>55099221
The idea that they can see more colors than humans can comprehend is somewhat false. They see the same spectrum, but it's stretched into the ultraviolet and infrared to a degree, and overlaid with the ability to see polarized light, which adds contrast to shadows and outlines.
The extra rod and cone receptors in their eyes are better at picking out the variations between colors, but they don't precisely see more than we can, they just see in between the demarcations of gradients that humans distinguish as different shades.
>>55099094
source? Also what is that
>>55099303
I think clams
>>55099221
And people say fucking Magic doesn't exist.
>>55098645
It literally destroys your DNA, as if you've gotten acute radiation poisoning. Without DNA, your cells stop being able to be replaced so your body rots while you still live due to your cells dying off one by one.
>>55095846
what the hell was that
>>55099397
monkey playing with a doll head
>>55099250
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zB4vMz5sVQ
>*pop* HELLO
>>55099375
Also note that, much like their much more fun species amanita muscaria, the Destroying Angel also causes hallucinations. Of course, it's universally a bad, horrifying trip of an experience, further compounded by the full knowledge that such an experience is also killing you, so that you spend your last days in a terrifying hallucinogenic nightmare stupor as your body fails.
Yes, days, as in it's not a quick death in the least, but a long, drawn out experience that's usually brought on by liver failure, followed by the rest of your organs failing.
>>55094086
It's not sarcasm! Spiders are cute!
This shit is more terrifying than any of the shit on x
>>55099252
You asked what sea life has the vision, these are one example
>>55099261
Right? Humans tiring out animals over hours was another great example of coordinated hunting. Can see ourselves in it; in a way
>>55099292
Thanks, professor! Always enjoy learning something new
>>55099320
Indeed
>>55099375
>>55099439
>God when designing such a thing
>>55099375
>>55099439
Well shit. And here I thought it would just be one *really* bad trip. But it turns out its a fucking nightmare that destroys your entire body. Its fucking Ouchi the mushroom.
Haven't scientists discovered colors that the human eye can't see? Shit like a combination between blue and green that ends up looking nothing like either. Supposedly pink is an impossible color as well, but it's close enough to red that we can conceptualize it.
>>55099502
Magenta is our brains trying to see a mix of blue and red and basically making shit up.
>>55095470
I dunno man, that just looks hilarious
I mean, I'm sure like 50% of those people vomited immediately afterwards from the smell, but as a gif it's hilarious.
>>55093102
worth mentioning that it's upside down apparently in that top image
>>55095534
Now that's just fucking sad
>>55097006
Fuck harvestermen spiders
I saw a clump like that before and I torched the fuckers. I'm normally okay with spiders, but something about those spiders in particular throws a curveball into my brain.
>>55094405
What on fuck is that
>>55099221
Mantis shrimp can't actually see color better than humans, they just have a really weird and complicated version of color vision that doesn't require our awesome visual cortex. Their system has less lag in it though, so they can recognize colors super fast.
They can see ultraviolet light and have optimal polarization vision, which allows for a lot of really strange things underwater like detecting tide size.
Mantis Shrimp also don't eat octopodes, they usually hunt crabs and other armored bottom crawling stuff.
>>55099164
Seals are a big one, they have really good eyes. Dolphins as well.
>>55098808
>That moment of sheer terror
>>55095410
I couldn't even get through half of the THUMBNAILS of those videos
You win, sir.
>>55099464
Fancy circles, mumbo jumbo literally taken from horribly written "spell books" written by basement dwelling shroom-heads, divination and summoning spirits... I could go on. Junk.
Now a grouper swallowing you up to your hips... that can happen. Shark bite your calf or leg off while walking in the shallows, that too. Rattlesnake bite your arm while searching for fossils as a curious six year old. Yep. Happened to me and survived because the fucker only got me with one fang instead of two. The real world is scary enough. No need for /x/
>>55099598
Appreciate the knowledge, anon! But... what if the octopus BECOMES an armored bottom crawler?
>>55095729
>AI is going to be so fucking great guys! Just watch!
>>55099634
The difference is that
>Fancy circles, mumbo jumbo literally taken from horribly written "spell books" written by basement dwelling shroom-heads, divination and summoning spirits.
May exist or not, we don't know
But
>Now a grouper swallowing you up to your hips... that can happen. Shark bite your calf or leg off while walking in the shallows, that too. Rattlesnake bite your arm while searching for fossils as a curious six year old. Yep. Happened to me and survived because the fucker only got me with one fang instead of two.
Do exist and we're sure of it
>>55097446
Just like Mario!
>>55099664
That's adorably badass
>>55099664
>the first Pokéball
>>55099029
Fucking shrikebirds
>>55095729
She has no idea how lucky she was. She had that dolphin desperate for her and just ignored it. I would have spread my legs and let him rail me.
>>55099664
Those fuckers are too intelligent for our own good
I remember reading a book about our planet in the far future, Niourk
After a nuclear catastrophe, the few remaining men returned to a prehistoric nomadic life, the sea was drained and the octopi survived and absorbed the radiations to become giant earth-based death machines thanks to their intelligence, size and body structure
>>55098966
“Worker bees can leave.
Even drones can fly away.
The Queen is their slave.”
>>55099719
Deep, but dark. Love Haikus sometimes
>>55099112
Haha ha haaaa ha
haha ha haaaa ha
hahahhahaahhahahahahahahahhaah
>>55099741
>>55099704
Sounds like a good way to get some internal damage.
>>55099741
>>55099664
>a weapon to surpass metal gear
Less parasites, more predators
General reminder that carnivorous plants exist
>>55099769
>>55099799
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s637-5A9Gro
>>55099740
Saddest thing I've seen today
I hope he got it another friend
This animal is responsible for killing more humans than any other animal species on the planet.
(not counting ones that kill us indirectly by making us sick, like mosquitoes and shit)
...not the lions.
>>55099833
That hippo does not give a fuck
...SURPRISE!
>>55093313
Last of Us has these being the main reason for everything bad that happened.
>>55099851
>Hey master
>hey can we go to park?
>lets chase cats
>wanna go poop on sidewalk
>lets find food
>hey master
>hey
>>55098778
>>55098851
There's a life lesson somewhere here
You can be some badass hornet who don't take no shit for nobody your entire life, and still get cuddled to death by fuzzy bees
>Always hated redditors who comment about how lol scury xd insects are in thread like this
>First post in the thread makes my chest tighten up
>>55099914
>cuddled
Yay
>to death
No!
>by fuzzy
Yay
>bees
FIRE!!!
>>55099898
Man that looks like a great place to live. Crows are such interesting neighbours. There's a family of like, 5-10 of them around my area, and it's reached the point where I can tell them apart based on the white markings of their wings. I give them sunflower seeds each day on the way to work and now they follow me down the street.
>>55093727
>Well Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam,
>I was a drab little crab once.
>>55095556
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tquDnOdYDI
>>55095069
>including very, very, very tiny worms that live on our eyelashes.
Demodex mite, it's an arachnid, not a worm.
And yeah, EVERYONE has them.
>>55099582
mushroom
>>55100030
Who put a dolphin brain in that shark?
>>55097055
Mein gott, I love it
>>55095007
My old parasitology professor laid down some simple rules for avoiding parasite infestation.
>don't have anything to do with poop
>don't use poop in your gardens as fertilizer
>don't have kids or pets, because they are constantly involving themselves with poop
>always wash your hands after dealing with poop
>wash your hands often, in general
>don't EVER eat a raw snail or slug, and generally never eat raw crabs
>avoid raw foods in general (mostly for animal products)
>cook your food to the recommend safe temperatures to kill off any parasites inside it
>don't have anything to do with poop
Parasites are astounding, from an evolutionary standpoint, and their life cycles are often extremely convoluted.
>>55100043
>So you eat, and all the food goes splashing all over your face, and you end up with monstrous demons feeding off the garbage dripping from your eyelashes, and you're okay with that.
>>55099833
Not true. The hippo is the most deadly large mammal in Africa but it is not even close to the one that kills the most. Snakes kill a lot of people, one species kills more than 10 times as many people a year than hippos. Dogs also kill way more people as do Crocodiles.
>>55095410
oh fuck
this is just too goddamn intense
I cannot fuck deal w
>>55095757
>seal's dick is so large it's destroying the penguin's insides
>>55097448
They do other stuff sometimes
>>55100030
I can hear them shitting their pants.
>>55096171
Wasn't that thread about 40 pages long, and over half of the posts are the tank owner trying and failing to kill the worm with all sorts of desperate and wild measures? It reads something a bit like a Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner script.
>>55100072
Yep. I'm thinking of basing some asshole fantasy species off these jerks
>>55099898
>You said you had an entire murder of crows in your backyard?
>Mine is an entire MASSACRE of crows
>>55098687
>who's mimicking who
Who's mimicking whom.
Started off as d&d ideas now it's gone to how nature is horrifying and that we should avoid it at all costs.
>>55100143
Several weeks back, in a werewolf thread, I attempted to throw together some shit about how a parasitic origin of lycanthropy might play out. Tried to incorporate a mix of parasite standbys, like how a parasite can migrate through the hosts body to facilitate being transmitted, or how certain parasites can alter host behavior to more easily spread, or how sometimes they can encyst in the body and just stay there until you die.
>>55097448
>>55100133
The thing with dolphins is they're a LOT like us in that how they are as adults is heavily influenced by how their raised.
Dolphins growing up mostly alone or in a highly stressful environment (abusive dolphin parents are a thing) are more likely to end up being serial murder rapists.
Dolphins growing up in a well socialized pod/ low stress environment are more likely to end up being playful bubble artists.
And of course everything in between those two extremes exist.
>>55093651
>leech
if its anything like the ones in aus, they're pussies. you just pour some salt on them, or hold a lighter underneath them, and they freak out and try to escape
just need to apply some pressure afterwards because they pump you full of anticoagulants.
>>55098808
>jesus christ its a lion get in the car
wasnt an invitation, nala
>>55098778
This video is sad in a war movie way. Look at the grounded bee retrieving the body of its fallen comrade.
>>55100820
For food. They'll eat the corpses.
>>55100856
I know that, but it doesn't stop me from hearing slow piano and muffled gunshots.
>>55100970
Also surprise rounds in D&D.
>>55099833
They're just lucky that hippo had somewhere else to be.
>>55100970
>he's fast...!
>>55099538
yes, seen from the top it's fabulous
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKDpcnMYWp4
>>55093177
>>55093185
>>55093199
Now imagine if a wizard used magic to create a species of these things the size of anacondas and populated an entire forest with them.
Everyone would go back to living in mud huts.
>>55093485
Quit being a baby. This thread is pleb tier compared to the threads posted in the /an/ board.
>>55094796
>>55094829
>>55094854
>>55094859
>>55094937
Fun fact! Nicotine is actually a pesticide. So all you have to do is an internet search for how much your specific body ratio can handle without harmful risks do to overdose, then roll that amount of tobacco into little pills, and swallow it.
Afterwards, you just wait and shit out all of the parasites in your gut.
>>55094049
this. Bobbit worms are unholy nigh unkillable monsters
http://www.michiganreefers.com/forums/advanced-topics/84173-bobbit-worm-chronicles.html
>>55095111
>>55095327
I find it hilarious that we eat paint thinner/remover on a regular basis.
>>55095187
Those look adorable as hell, I would love to have a dozen of those in an aquarium.
>>55093916
Can someone please explain to me how an unfertilized egg = males?
Wouldn't an unfertilized egg be just that, unfertilized, thus a blank slate?
>>55101521
Dude: back to highschool and fucking re-do all of your basic biology classes.
>>55097556
they have prehensile dicks and pussies though
>>55095556
Dolphins are the only species known to have nazal sex. They give a whole new meaning to the term "blowjob".
>>55096283
Fun fact: peacocks do the same thing to snakes. So the filthy rich started keeping them as pet guardians to kill any venomous snakes that tried to come into the home/yard.
>>55097169
This is true, but they are also incredibly important to the ecosystem because there are many species of plants that can't pollinate without them.
And many of those species are delicious foods that we eat.
So basically the havoc they wreak on tomato plants are a small price to pay for having a wide and varied diet.
>>55101521
With humans, male are XY and females are XX - so males are the heterogametic sex.
But many other species aren't like this. Chicken, for example, the males are ZZ and the females ZW, so females are the heterogametic sex.
Now in the system we're talking about, males are X0 (as in not fertilised) and females are XX.
You might want to read up on it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_sex-determination_system
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ZW_sex-determination_system
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X0_sex-determination_system
>>55093001
The Goblin Shark. This gif itself give a good enough explanation of what this shark is.
>>55097448
>dat dudes boner
>>55098935
> The bastard would kick those up if we ever started rattling the cage or tried to pick it up.
You deserved it.
How about a Dunkleosteus?
>>55098026
ah ! i knew those wasps had weird abdomen
>>55099035
Fun fact: The vast majority of the mushroom is actually a fungi that lives in the dirt. So what you are seeing is it's reproductive organs.
Every time you eat a mushroom, you are eating a dick.
>>55095187
That's just baby eels.
>>55094796
Holy shit!
Cthonians are REAL!
>>55099664
The coolest part is that these octopi learned how to use coconut shells as armor to protect themselves from falling rocks whenever the volcano on that island goes off.
>>55093181
Is this the same creature as in that old image where its eyes aren't the bit you think its eyes are?
>>55099833
Their closest living relatives are whales.
>>55099898
>when your vampire waifu is worried about you during the day
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiotrophic_fungus
>>55101803
>Whippomorpha
>Claude containing the Cetacea (Whales, dolphins) and the hippopotamuses
>They all descend from an unknown common ancestor
Interesting
>>55095729
Dolphins are pretty much children. They'll do most anything to entertain themselves.
>>55096397
I was thinking the same thing
>>55101749
They probably had a layer of scales to cover their beaks and bony heads
>another badass prehistoric animal ruined
>>55094937
>most people have parasites inside them, we just aren't aware of it because we don't go to the doctor every week since shit is expensive as fuck
laughing-at-americans.jpg
>>55101855
>Even as adults, Dolphins keep a child mind and are able to play and enjoy themselves
Truly, we should follow (some of) Nature's examples
>>55098123
>chemin ramos
what the fuck am I looking at? Looks like fucking Gravelord Nito
>>55098989
did anyone even win that?
>>55095410
FOR FUCK SAKE NATURE!
>>55099569
It's because they look like walking warts.
Also, they're not spiders, they eat solid foods (and as such can carry parasites.)
>>55101835
fungi are amazing. Locked in an unending battle with bacteria, but also capable of becoming the allrgest organism on earth. Quickly evolve to devour an kind of energy source, can grow anywhere no matter what.
>>55095498
I lose it every time I see that gator death roll his buddy, and this his other buddy on the right clamps his tail.
Mossy River Reptiles are hilariously retarded.
Human bodies are actually some of the scariest shit you've ever seen.
Acne and pimples are basically when an individual skin pore produces a little too much sebum. Bacteria that eats sebum moves into the clogged pore and start having a massive orgy where they reproduce uncontrollably. This is what clogs the pore. Then your body sends in an army of white blood cells to kill them all off.
Acne is literally a Slaanesh tier orgy of reproduction and slaughter. Each new generation of bacteria is born in and feeds off of the pool of rotting corpses of their own dead and dead white blood cells. Until eventually the skin ruptures like a volcano and the bacteria and white blood cells flood the surface of the surrounding skin.
>>55094937
>since shit is expensive as fuck
Not where I'm from, yank.
>>55101749
one of my favorite ancient critters. Would totally fill the water plane with these and ancient sharks.
Possibly make blind dunkleosteusis in underground oceans of the underdark.
>>55101875
Sea stars. They get saggy put of the water.
>>55097055
Huh, it actually reverses its bodyplan.
>>55100013
>Lightning Strike
>1RR
>Instant
Deal 6 damage to up to 3 creatures
>>55101974
You think fungi are successful? Ants account for 14% of the earth's free carbon.
>>55096249
>prototyping bird replacements for the next mass extinction
Nature never forgets to hit Save Draft.
>>55099843
Rubbery thick skin that's been known to deflect bullets.
>>55100970
...Did that falcon just tear the duck's head off? Or is it's neck just broken?
>>55101369
most of the time I go on /an/ it's just them hating cats as if they're the worst thing ever.
>>55102403
Well they are.
>>55102128
AutocardAnywhere is a gift and a curse. Already exists as an overcosted Lightning Bolt, sorry.
>>55095556
>the dolphin rape cave was just shark falsified propaganda, I swear!
>>55093727
Are those edible?
>>55096428
>never talk to me or my son ever again
>now get out of my house
>>55102924
Yes. They're nearly extinct on islands with human populations because they're delicacies.
>>55095187
Needs garlic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UBpn-L3pRg
>>55101838
>>55099122
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_whale_attacks_on_humans
>However, wild orcas are not considered a real threat to humans, as there are few documented cases of wild orcas attacking people and no fatal encounters
Orcas are insanely smart, and either understand the consequences of attacking us, or are really good at hiding the bodies
>>55102924
>>55103027
I've heard they capture them, then feed them nothing but coconuts for a few weeks before cooking
>>55103260
There are documented cases of orca pods learning to hunt in cooperation with humans. They just respect their peers
>>55103326
same with fishermen working with dolphins, the dolphins driving the fish into the shallows, and the fishermen casting nets, then giving the dolphins their share. they both managed to figure out a rudimentary communication using jumps and splashes.
>>55098935
>now look at this net
>>55101875
>>55102029
basket star specifically which is a brittle star. regular sea stars don't do that.
>>55093313
>>55099858
Fallout New Vegas had a lot of that too, they turned green too so I think they were in a Lichenous relationship with some kinda algae too.
>>55100030
Aren't those things usually Kevlar?
>>55099375
>>55099491
Wikipedia just says it slows down copying/RNA reading of DNA to a crawl, not Radiation poisoning style destruction.
>>55103803
Kevlar's great vs bullets and by extent all blunt and light puncture stuff.
It's not great vs puncture that goes beyond it's threshold, and decidedly terrible vs slashing.
>>55103913
hence you're killed in a matter of days rather than hours/minutes like radiation poisoning can do.
The end result however is equally fucked up and painful.
>>55101736
Oh, no doubt. Taught us a valuable lesson and the tarantula was alive the last time I checked (four years ago during a visit) when kids usually destroy and break things within a couple years of having it
>>55099940
Neat. Eventually the young will follow you even if you stop feeding them. Like some kind of demi-god.
The colony by my house drop walnuts and acorns onto the street in small piles. Once a car runs them over, they all swoop down to peck up some of the food. Once, one got struck by a car while doing that. They perched like the vultures in >>55099898 for three days. No noise, no calls. Solemn silence for their fallen
This thread is filled with too much disturbing shit (Especially those fucking Dolphins and Seals). So here, have a baby Axolotl to clean your mental palettes.
>>55095498
Last time I watched this I did not notice the 'dile eatin it's fellow reptiles leg after the deathroll.
>>55096171
If I recall, the way you get rid of them is via a trap weighted down with stones or filled bottles and once it's head is in you release the weights until it is pulled out, and then decapitated.
>>55104627
Decapitating won't stop it. It's a segmented worm. Cutting it in half just means you have two to deal with.
>>55098905
>That
>Biggest Shark
You've not seen the video of the THING they found in that depthless Trench have you?
It was fucking Megladon sized.
>>55104706
That one is freaky. Forget the "estimated size", just know that the bait cage was the size of a regular diving cage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwndNqjMlIk
>>55098905
What the fuck is the point of having a big safety cage thing if someone is just going to stand on top of it?
>>55099556
>They use the pigment melanin to convert gamma and beta radiation into chemical energy for growth.
>Blacks were actually right about Melanin giving the super powers
WHAT
The deep sea is full of things that probably live in a place where people would never normally get a chanse to see them for a reason.
Dragonfish can open their jaws a ridiculous 180 degrees. They've actually lost the vertebra connecting their skull to their body in order to let their upper jaw bend that far.
>>55104958
I bet this things live so far down and in the dark because they would die of embarrassment if anyone knew how ugly they are.
Still one of my favorite animals. You may call it hideously ugly, but I find certain beauty in it's...I suppose you could call it "purity of purpose". Any parts not absolutely necessary for keeping the creature alive and letting it eat whatever it might come across has been discarded, leaving what is essentially just a huge swimming mouth and stomach.
>>55105032
For a worm, it's quite pretty. And it can swim, which is not something most worms can do. I bet it feels superior to all its bottom-dwelling relatives.
Now, ctenophores are freaky for different reasons. Not because they look scary or anything (this one just looks smug, like some kind of reaction image loli made from mostly water and jelly), but because they are probably as close to alien animals we have on Earth. All other animals alive today can be traced to one last common ancestor, except ctenophores. They diverged from the ancestros of than ancestors even before things like muscles and nerves were evolved. And then proceeded to develop their own muscles and nerves that are completely different from any other form of life.
>>55102091
Not really...?