What do you do about players who cripple themselves, then complain

He's right pigeons aren't cool.

>>55084485
sounds like a dweeb desu.

>>55084497
4u

>>55084485
At least make them crows or ravens or something.

>>55084485
Roll up the wheelchair.

Treat pigeons as one collective murder.

>>55084485
your players a faggot. Sentry crabs is the coolest fucking thing I've read all day.

Create an NPC villain. Beastmaster. Make your Beastmaster NPC use all the cool shit you have laying around against the PCs. Maybe bitchy faggot will get the hint.

>>55084485
Start giving pigeons dragon traits, like flame breath; add armor to cows. Come on DM, give him something to work with here...

>>55084485
>>55084677
It's a city, right?
Can't you have the NPC beastmaster use hordes of rats and spiders?

>>55084485

I really want to believe people can't be this entitled and retarded. You made an urban campaign, told him about it, and I guess he expected you to bend to his will and still somehow make the campaign all about him, and how he tames badass magical monsters in a place they have no business being in.

He clearly just wants the spotlight shining out of his ass, don't humour him.

>>55084677
>>55084696
This. This is how you do it. And if your player still wont shut the fuck up have the NPC drag him into a back alley and display his dominance if you know what I mean.

>>55084677
So you want him to fight The Zookeeper from Futurama?

>>55084761
>display his dominance if you know what I mean.
Tie him up with spider silk while cockroaches rip out and eat his eyes?

>>55084485
Dear sweet lord why couldn't you be my dm when i rolled beastmaster. My dm never had small shit like that.

I once had a player create a blind swordsman. No magical vision, no abilities to detect enemies without sight, this wasno Daredevil. Just a fighter without eyes that work. I offered to help by rebuilding him to at least have blind-fight ability, but got refused.
He got upset that I gave the character the blind status effect.

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>>55084900
Well of course just swap eyes with crotch, cockroaches with brown recluse and eat with mass cell necrosis.

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>>55084485
You did what you could, I don't blame you
Best Shinkai movie coming through

>>55084485
If he's not working with what you've already given him I just don't think that character is going to work for him. Suggest rolling up a new character to him, and if he complains and says he wants to play the character he is remind him that you've been trying to help and he's been ignoring it.

>>55084497
No, they're not. They're horrible little shit filled lice covered vermin. I could bring a kingdom to its knees with pigeons.

>>55084945
Anime, not even once.

>>55085623
Zatoichi is a Japanese story but it's older than anime.

Because players are entitled little shits who think they have to "win the game" and that everything in the games world only exists for their characters

>>55085623
>>55085648
Sounds like this motherfuckers not even a Zatoichi. I'm not sure what he was trying to accomplish playing a for real blind guy.

>>55085682
He clearly wanted to do a Zatoichi ripoff but was just an idiot at the execution.

I've actually had someone claim to be a mute, and he constantly makes bluff checks, diplomacy, and uses verbal components on things. His character does not know sign language, the people he's diplomizing do not know sign language, and magic does not respond to sign language without feat investment.

When I called him out on trying to activate something with a spoken component, he threw a tantrum saying "Lore and rules are two different things, rules say I can speak, my lore says I cannot, and rules take priority". I banned him from the game and deleted his character sheet.

Hilariously he was inspired by a mute I often play, but he didn't know it was me that was running.

>>55085760
>"Lore and rules are two different things, rules say I can speak, my lore says I cannot, and rules take priority". I banned him from the game and deleted his character sheet.
I have a guy who uses "FUN should take priority over rules" as an excuse to make his character stronger than he actually is and to also steal the spotlight from other players

I really want to shut him down but im sure theres going to be a tantrum from him when the truth of "I'm the GM and as per definition im in charge of the rules and everything else" sinks in

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>currently playing a beastmaster in a forest campaign
>started with an adventurer-fodder wolf, it died quickly once we started taking on higher level encounters
>search the surrounding woods for something more appropriate to tame, take 20 with the check
>"you don't find anything"
>repeat whenever there's downtime in the party, same results

>>55084950
Worm is pretty decent source material if you want to learn how to effectively use bug mastery in a campaign.

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>>55084497
>train pigeons to drop flasks of acidic poisons of foes
>make them flock on an unsuspecting foe and rip him to pieces

There are many fantasy uses for them

A beast master controlling hordes of every kind of vermin supplemented with a few angry foxes or raccoons or something in an urban campaign would be pretty cool in my book.

And since people have mentioned crows and ravens, those birds are dangerously smart on their own, imagine what an even smarter beastmaster [i.e. not yours it seems, sadly] could do those buggers.

>>55085791
>I really want to shut him down but im sure theres going to be a tantrum from him
Why would you choose to play with someone who you expect to throw a tantrum

>>55084485

Why doesn't he just declare that there is a gryphon nearby?

> urban beastmaster
Master of the ravens who help different gangs to send invisible messages across city.
Done. Next.

>>55084485
PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT SENTRY CRABS.
I just found a hole in my live i did not know i had.

>>55084485
Yeah, a lot of times these people are being inspired by something they thought was cool but aren't smart enough to pull it off.

>>55084497
Pidgeons are way cool, you tool

>>55086616
Fuck man, you don't even have to do that. Just get some magic bullshit to see through their eyes. Pigeons are everywhere in a big city and nobody gives a fuck about them. There's probably one watching you right now.

>>55084485
>rebellion game
>not spying on everything with pigeons
He's an idiot

>>55087870
I live in a studio apartment with windows covered by several layers of alluminium foil, so pigeons can fuck right off.

>>55087914
>rebellion game
>not slowly clearing goverment buildings by large swarms of rats and roaches.
He's an idiot

>>55086003
Considering the forest is empty of any animals, there must be some sorta big ass beast that is hunting them to extinction/forcing them out of their habitat.
If not, then your GM a shit.

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>>55084497
>pigeons aren't cool

>>55088336
Now I know what my next character will be

>>55088542
The crazy pidgeon lady?

>use your beast powers to summon all the countless rats that live in and under every city
>teach them to link feet and tails until they form a human shape
>sit on top of it
>stomp and kill in your 50,000 rat megazord
Or just control them and tell them to eat anyone in your way, 5000 mind-controlled rats will easily fuck up that faggot griffon he wanted

>>55084485
You're gonna have to tell us more about sentry crabs though

Your player is a fuckboy.
I once played a druid in an urban post-apoc setting where there was no nature left.
He ran a bar, had a PTSD carrier pigeon and his entire purpose was to bring back nature to the world.

Tell your player that some guy on the internet thinks he's a fuckboy and that if he thinks he's too good to carry a swarm of rats under his coat then he's doing it wrong and should neck himself promptly.

>>55089118
>Tell your player that a LOT of guys on the internet think he's a fuckboy
FTFY

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>>55084677
>>55087529
>>55089076

The council of anon spoke OP, tell us more

>>55084485
Not everyone sees their hero persona as Lord of the Pigeons. That's just not what he had in mind when he picked beastmaster. Some people are just not very flexible.

Also
>Not feeding a bull some drugs and calling it a day
Meth bull would be the greatest of urban warriors

>>55088821
Probably the crazy horror inducing pigeon lady. Pigeons are little pieces of terror. Just imagine them trying to stuff themselves down your throat while chirping excitedly. Or trying to pluck your eyes out. You are throwing them off and killing them one after the other but new ones come again and again and you start slipping on their blood...

>>55084485
Okay I'll try to be constructive.
You could let some sort if circus or zoo come to town.

Heave some advertisement going around with "ferocious beasts, even adragon".

When the BM will come to visit it, or maybe the group get's free tickets or whatever, have the whole thin blown out of proportions for the townsfolk.

There could be a "wild monster from underground which needs the steel and blood of an entire battalion each week to survive"
It's just one lousy rust monster.

The beholder from the posters "With eyes that cause the weak hearted to die" is just a spectator which was talked into it and get's paid on a regular basis.

The dragon? Just some dog sized fire lizard/salamander with wings strapped onto his back.


You know, beats which are a bit more exotic but don't over shadow everything else in the city. Interesting, but not overly usefull.

Also since your player seems to be a bit stunted, explain to him that the zoo is a ripoff, he is a BM, he should know (more or less)

>>55088336
I feel like this person - and the implied pc - would have an inordinate amount of poop on them.

>>55089193
I'm just not sure why he thought there'd be dragons, griffons, manticores, and other giant magical beasts just chilling in a city. Implies a very particular kind of fantasy setting, and seems like it's the kind of campaign expectation that should've been mentioned early on.

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>>55089441
Even if it was a magical city with all of those things, nigga is presumably starting at level 1 (or whatever equivalent this system may or may not use).

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>>55084485
Sentry crabs?

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>>55089474

Could always go the middle road.
Pigeon Griffons and Rat Kings.
Tiny pet shoulder manticores. That sort of thing.

>>55087529
<insert picture of crab clan here>

Sentry crabs sound like pretty cool shit, like something that would make a cool companion
>I call him snippy

>>55089192
>aweapontosurpassmetalgear.jpg

>>55090000
Only if that crab can launch a nuke from any point on the planet, anon.

>>55090033
>tough pointy shell
>powerful snips
>a motherfuckin MG mounted on its back
>delicious with some Old Bay

I think we both know that a Sentry Crab is way better than some dumb Russian Shagawhatever

>>55088336
I know you shouldn't stick it in the crazy. But I really want to.

>>55090251
It's fine, as long as you go in aware of the risks, and don't form long-term attachments.
And bring enough food to distract the birds.

>>55090251
>tfw you'll never have a gf who's only crazy with other people and normal enough with you.
>tfw you'll never have a gf

>>55084497
T. seagull

>>55090179
It broke my knife.

I think part of handicapping your character is the funny shit that happens because of it. I made a Shardmind Psion once. Since it came with natural telepathy I told the DM my character can only communicate telepathically.

Skip ahead to the middle of a dungeon. I find a magic orb which contains the spirit of a elf who we must ally to continue. I proceed to make diplomacy and bluff checks with huge success on the numbers. As I like to roleplay I go through and give these speeches aloud. After about 10 minutes of trying and getting zero response back from the orb it finally speaks up.

"Can one of you take me away from this creepy rock monster I am absolute terrified."

>mfw telepathy does not work on magic soul stealing orbs.
>mfw all the elf saw was an rock monster who kept swing the orb to and fro while it glared at her silently.

>>55091988
Fucking hell, must've been great.

@OP The vote is decided. Player is a faggot that needs to get some gud.

Further, The price for the wisdom of this council is more knowledge of the sentry crabs.

Anybody here who want's to speculate about what sentry crabs are ?

I'd thin that they are some form of beagle (the dog) sized hermit crab which live in man made houses. You bury the house, including the crab, somewhere in your yard and have them act as some sort of natural field mine attacking anybody who comes to close.
Also, you could lay pipes in your yard so they would get the water they need even during hot days.

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>>55092675
My brain just keeps coming back to 'domesticated hermitaurs'
Which wouldn't be that far off from what you said, really.

>>55092675
Well, sentry could imply they would be used as an alarm system or as a manner of attack against intruders. Small crabs are really speedy, but I don't know about the bigger ones, but I imagine they could keep up with you pretty well.

I'm having quite a bit of fun imagining a handful of previously-disguised crabs hiding in the mud chasing after intruders and burbling/chittering while they chase them, even if they couldn't do a whole lot of damage. They'd definitely get everyone's attention.

Probably pretty smart, maybe something like crow intelligence. Not heavy-hitters, but good for spying, getting into small spaces, you know the drill.

>>55093408
Oh, or how about some form of domesticated crab that lives in hidden tanks. As soon as it notices someone unfamiliar or is starteled it surfaces and starts screeching and smacking it claws together,till it gets feed with some sort os special food or get's another kind of signal.

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>>55092675
I think of these guys.

>>55090631
>have held hands before
>have kissed before
>but never actually have had a gf because I either show too much feelings or too little and I never get it right

Is it worse to be a lightyear away from your goal, or to be so close you can feel it slip through your fingers?

>>55088336
...I have that picture on my computer, I can't remember where I found it, and I'm afraid it might actually be some chick I'm friend with on facebook and I posted that picture on 4chan without thinking about it.
If that's the case, I'm sorry girl.

Well this thread is as derailed as it gets.

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>>55093872
google search DOES come up with a facebook girl that looks like her.

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>>55084485
>sentry crabs
This sounds awesome. Explain.

>>55093807
Probably the 1st one anon.

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>>55088066
And that beasts name....

man

>>55087948
>He thinks pigeons can't see through aluminum

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>>55084485
>not being the Pigeon King

That player is unrefined and uncouth.

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Toy griffons that rich bitches keep on their lap. Often dyed pink.

Swamp dragons (pic related).

Actual baby dragons that kids keep flushing into the sewers.

Giant spider stalking pigeons in the park. Wears a collar named "spike."

One time in Dark Heresy we injected a crab full of frenzon and threw it into a local boxing tournament because we needed cash and nobody was in any shape to fight. He tore a mans head off

>>55089786
Dammit now I want a giant crab animal friend.

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>>55084801
Citizen Sniiiiiiiips!

>>55091988
That's the fucking funniest thing I've heard all day.

>>55093642
Screech and clack till it gets fed when seeing something unfamiliar. If the unfamiliar thing doesn't feed them they eat it.

>>55084485
Don't play 3.PF

>>55084696
This was literally my first thought. Giant goddamn flesh eating sewer rats, nutreas, spiders, wasps, sewer gators, pet snakes that stopped being cute, packs of feral dogs, those mean ass fucking swans that colonize parks; shit, the possibilities are almost endless, and that's without bringing urban cryptids into the mix. Your player's just a little bitch.

>>55089232
Til he starts to crash and gets all paranoid and sells your couch and TV on Craigslist to buy more dope. Meth bull is not to be trusted.

>>55084485

I have a player who mostly refuses to interact with the world or npcs, on account of playing edgy loners combined with a strong dose of "but that's what my character would do", and then complains about having no idea what's going on and being left out.

If I try to directly involve his character into something, he'll point it out as pandering and lose interest, and if I don't engage him directly, he doesn't engage at all. As far as I can tell, there is no actual middle ground between the two, and yet I'm assured that there is and it's easy to do. I dunno man.

>>55096898
next time he doesn't care you say
"your character realizes that he doesn't care for these people and events and leaves. Make a new character that DOES care"

>>55096078
>have cool, interesting character
>turn him into just black captain america with a political agenda

Thanks Marvel.

>>55091984
'Heard you dared to attack me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OMHIrKaB1I

>>55084485

Because people are spoiled and stupid. Let em sink or swim. They will figure it out.

>>55084485
There's this constant set of idiots who play Exalted: All of them.

There's this constant subset of idiots who play Exalted: People who choose to play Lunars, Sidereals, Dragon-bloods, God-blooded, etc. in games with Solars. And then they whinge about being weaker than Solars. No shit, Solars being top dog is a core conceit of the setting. How did you not see this coming.

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>>55084696
>>55096483
Geese.

>>55084485
OP, please come back and tell us about those goddamn sentry crabs.
Seriously, you can't just mention something like that and NOT say anything further.