in 5e, How would you go around statting a character who's

>>54816789
>Cause even taking roleplaying into account, I don't think the DnD stat system can adequately reflect all those traits at once.

Good. Your character sounds annoying unless you're the DM, in which case your GMPC sounds *infuriating.*

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>>54816789
Maybe you should try Pathfinder instead. I think it fits your character much better.

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Sounds like either a Pact of the Blade Warlock, College of Valor Bard, or an Eldritch Knight, with high stats except for a dip in dexterity and either low wisdom/intelligence depending on what class you picked.

You're trying to describe someone who's rather inconsistent, but the nature of stats is that they are more of a maximum than a baseline. You can have an Intelligence of 18 and not know anything about history if that's your wish (just don't even bother rolling history checks), or have high dexterity but be bad at dancing or clumsy on your feet in general. You simply can't be more intelligent than an 18 would indicate, or have greater dexterity. Self-imposed limitations for character purposes work because the stats are supposed to be broad generalizations and generally supposed to be flexible.

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>>54816789
So you basically wana play an annoying Mary Sue who's good at everything, but it's OK because sometimes she's not for really stupid "quirky" reasons LOLECKSDEE.

Play Pathfinder... or better yet, play MAID RPG.

>>54816789
This sounds like every min maxed D&D character because players always make the worse possible decisions

>>54816789
>extremely good at magic,
needs more definition

>a skilled fighter,
needs more definition

>very knowledgeable about karmic morality,
proficiency in knowledge (religion)

>and super attractive,
maybe extra charisma, but charisma isnt strictly appearance

>but is also a clumsy, bumbling idiot who behaves like a complete brat,
sounds like penalties to dex, int, cha

>always makes the wrong choice and constantly embarrasses herself in public?
this is the result of player decisions more than character behavior

have you considered playing a cleric? you could probably hit all those checkboxes

>>54816789
>>54816907
Could go with a system like Fate, where characters' primary strength is narrative and which skills they have is mostly fluff.

Basically the more powers and unique features that don't go together you have, the smaller your pool of fate points becomes. You need fate points in order to accomplish heroic deeds, and refill them by letting your flaws screw you over.

So more or less, the system pushes Mary Sues into the role of the mentor who's more experienced than the protagonist but can't solve big problems like they can. Unless the writers of the game in question think "can use magic" is a good trait, since it's both vague enough to do anything and bars other players from doing magical things. You should always require more specific stuff like "can use *fire* magic", or at least rule that in contests of strength the more specialized ability will always win.