So, /tg/, I'm not really sure what to do at this point.

>>54608815
Lastly, the Ranger. The ranger isn't elf like in the original draft, but is actually a human and receives the appropriate modifiers. He's a slavic man from modern times who happened to be born with pointed ears, who slipped between dimensions and landed in the D&D world while hunting with modern bow and arrow. He had drawn the bow beforehand and let go from the shock of his surroundings suddenly changing, and the arrow shot into the neck of an assassin who was about to kill a wood elf chieftain. The wood elves assumed that the slav was an elf, and that his unique arrival and his complex-looking bow was proof that he was the one who would bring the elves into a new age of prosperity. He has since been pretending to be the legendary elven savior in front of them because he's terrified that everything in this new world would kill him the moment he turns his back, and he doesn't want to give them an excuse to do so.

So, what was originally supposed to give me normal-ish adventurers with actual personalities has resulted in me running a campaign for a masseuse with literally healing hands, a bard who is prepared to defend his virginity from an endless barrage of sluts, an autistic wizard that is astounded by everything, and a slavic not-elf.

Also, my original campaign is now out the window, because even if I stretch the limits of credulity, there is no way that these characters would be remotely interested in geopolitical disputes between different factions of dragons, and their philosophies on the treatment of their unfortunate humanoid "subjects". With Murderhobos I could just shrug and send them off to kill dragons until there was no one left to have political disputes with, but I probably have to start from scratch on this one.

tl;dr Elf slav, what do?

A D A P T
D X X X P
A X X X A
P X X X D
T P A D A

>>54608815
>>54608818
It sounds like your players want a light hearted adventure. I know you want things to be serious, so try and meet them halfway. Put them on adventures where they'll get some sort of a personality story benefit, like a bunch of one shot stories and then ease them into the campaign once they are invested enough in the story.
Allow the characters to be a little bit wacky and play to that - these guys seem like they could become reluctant heroes instead of murderhobos.
So it is an improvement.

>>54608815
>The Paladin is apparently a skilled masseur, who felt he had reached the pinnacle of mundane skill, and lied his way into becoming a paladin in order

This is where I stopped reading.

>>54608815
Honestly that sounds like it could be a pretty fun time. I would add some goofy elements to your adventures. Like maybe your heroes save a nice dragon from being bullied by mean villagers or something, idk, just mix things up and keep it silly.

File: 2015-01-29-001543.jpg (161KB, 960x544px) Image search: [Google]

161KB, 960x544px

>>54608815
Sounds pretty interesting, actually. You can still have an interesting story with a group of misfit characters, as long as you allow some silliness in it.

>>54608815
>I got a bunch of awesome concepts and my brain cannot process it

Honestly, those character ideas sound awesome. Maybe except the ranger, otherworlder pointed-eary human arriving in the nick of time sounds snowflakey, but the "I know full well I'm not a real hero but I'm terrified to reveal the lie" has potential.

Do keep us updated.

These guys sound great

>>54608818
Even though they're kind of silly, your group gave you a lot to work with. 2 out of 4 have secrets and the other 2 could bond over how new and exciting and terrifying this world is.

>>54608815
Start throwing themed attackers at them. Like a giant with a really bad back, Russian gangsters, a culinary assault on the senses and someone trying to get into the bard's bed.

I agree with the anons who've already posted here: This sounds like great material for a comedic campaign.

>players have personality
>GM doesn't
Good old /tg/

Bad news OP, you're gonna have to suffer the loss of your campaign.

Good news OP, you get to instead fuck around with silly adventures and battles like what >>54612300 suggested.

>>54608815
>>54608818
Sounds like you and the players want to play a completely different kind of game and I promise I'm not memeing when I say this, but you should try looking for another group and/or not playing D&D.

That's not to say abandon your current group, I was in the same position for a while where I was getting increasingly frustrated with my irl group who wanted to fuck around and do murderhobo shit while I wanted to run something more serious (or just not goofy right off the bat) so I ended up finding a decent group of people who play on discord and now I have my serious group where I can get invested in the gay shit I enjoy like story arcs and character drama and I have my irl group that I no longer get stressed about for putting a bunch of work into a serious game that they won't be interested in and just run lighter, more improvised stuff instead. At the end of the day, GMing is a creative outlet so if you aren't ever able to run the kind of stuff you want to run you're gonna end up getting frustrated and burned out.

>>54608815
>>54608818
You should treasure your players OP, I wish my last group had an iota of this kind of dumb creativity. You sound frustrated with this silliness, but you succeeded in motivating your players to create something more then generic murderhobos. Rework the campaign or shelve it for now and work towards creating a better suited one to motivate each of them into some roleplaying shenanigans. Then when they've gotten it out of their systems you can run a more serious one and they'll be better players for it.

>>54608818
>tl;dr Elf slav, what do?

YOU CHEEKY CUNT

>>54613897
This, OP. Run Everyone is John or something a few times to focus their creativity in a way that kind of forces them to work it into how they play their characters and to get some of the silly bullshit out of their systems.