Can somebody very shortly summarize to me what was this guy thinking

>>54551853
How the fuck did it get this bad

Who cares, fluff dont matter anymore and is subject to change.

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>>54551853
YOU ALL FUCKED UP!

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>>54551853
>not blue enough
>they don't like my eldar waifu
>my feet hurt
>I'll just make new friends
>should have left me asleep
>I bet none of these people have even fucked an eldar

>>54551879
It's your own fault.

>oh god this is awful
>good job staying alive through this, I'm pleasantly surprised.

>>54551853
>why are you all yelling "praise the Emperor"
>he's not a god
>why are the guys in funny hats looking at me like they have just seen an Ork diplomat
>what are they giving me
>hey, isn't it that silly little pamphlet Lorgar wrote?
>shit, fetch an apothecary, one of them just had a stroke
>better change the topic

>>54551853
>Horus was right.

>>54551853
>Tech Heresy? What the fuck is tech heresy?
>Why's everyone talking about heresy so much?
>Why's everyone calling dad a god?
>Why are the space marines following the Codex so SLAVISHLY?
>Why won't anyone tell me things
>I asked the Inquisitors to let me into their library and they said no...
>My back hurts
>That eldar chick is hot
>I have to pretend that dad was a god even after people heard me say he wasn't
>I met dad and holy shit he let himself go
>Actually I'm going to stop calling him dad because he doesn't seem very paternal anymore
>Maybe we should blow it all up and start over from scratch. The whole Imperium.
>I'm gonna find other guys who like reading books instead of burning them and maybe plot remaking the Imperium?
>I wish Cawl would stop asking me to make him ruler of fucking mars
>I wish Cawl would stop using traitor DNA in the primaris after asking for permission and me saying no
>I'm gonna write a new codex

>>54553093
This.

Ah, how perfect. The Imperium is now ready for the harrowing. Hydra Dominatus

>Fulgrim you bastard! My neck
>wait... where i am i?
>why there is a xeno, a giant centipede and a Sanguinus chick cosplayer here
>right... that Cawl guy, forgot about him
>WHAT THE FUCK YOU MORONS MADE OF OUR IMPERIUM?!
>So i was dead for 10k years
>this place sucks
>why everyone act like morons and call the emperor, God-Emperor?
>ok let's go back to Terra
>WFT Magnus is a chicken
>WFT what you guys did to Terra
>WFT father... you're a fucking, heartless bastard
>ok, father isn't human, but can't call that thing a god
>alright, back to the old job it seems
>why those morons can't even tell me which fucking year it is
>the legislation is a clusterfuck
>can't sleep
>Pfff... right, i'm gonna pen a codex for the civilians in case i die so they can't fuck much things again
>wonderful... Mortarion is alive too
>no, i'm not a son of god
>no, he's not god
>ok, i give up, call him god if you want
>yes, yes, he loves us all, every single one of us
>why they kept using those creepy freak flying baby things?
>at least they stop chanting when i change my clothes
>no Cawl, you can't use traitor geneseed
>no Cawl, i'm not create a civil war just because you want to be the FG
>why that fucking centipede is using AI as mail?
>the fucking centipede will ignore my orders
>yes, you can have your religious triumph
>seriously, what's the deal with those freaky flying babies?

>>54551853
>the only thing more impressive than how shitty the imperium has become is how tight this Eldar snatch is
>I better legalize this shit

>GOD, I CAN'T WAIT TO BUST THIS FAT NUT

>>54551853
Is it true he made the Custodes go back on active duty? How are the Space Marine chapters reacting to Custodes being back on the frontlines?

>>54551853
>WHY?

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>>54551853
Isn't there LITERALLY a picture with his words on it?

yep, found it, quick google search.

>>54554095
I don't suppose they give much shit. A few thousand Custodes that can be spared from securing the palace isn't gonna force any chapter out of their job or anything.

>>54554095
After 10,000 fucking years of scratching their balls they may as well do something for a change.

>>54554281
Astartes just jealous because Battle-Bananas are cooler than they are.

>>54554281
They have the primaris actively cucking them. A squad of custodes here and there is nothing compared to that.

>where is Theil?
>I miss Thiel
>my feet hurt
>I wish i was back on crusade with Thiel

Well, I'm pretty sure the state of the Imperium actually gave Guilliman depression, so I think that says volumes.

>>54554655
Is Thiel unquestionably the best Smurf?

>>54554912

Uriel Ventris is the best smurf

Though Theil was the best at the time he was alive, with Renatus Ventris in 2nd, Marius Gage in 3rd and Nicodemus in 4th

Sicarus is a wanker, Agemann is forgettable, Calgar is a grumpy mary sue, Tigirus is quite good but veers too much towards mary sue land.

Wait, are the custodes currently trotting around still the same ones from the Horus Heresy that the Emperor made himself? Is Valdor still with them? How the fuck is the Imperium in the ignorant state that it's in (both with the whole "worship the Emperor as a god" thing and the general mass superstition and the way the heresy is a poorly-understood myth at this point) if there's about a thousand dudes chilling on Terra who were around during the Heresy and all knew the Emperor personally?

>>54555138
They're not the same dudes. It's unclear but there actually seems to be some attrition among the Custodes from beating down any daemons who slip through the warp gate underneath the Imperial Palace. Or maybe they just don't live that long anyway.

>>54555138

Because they stay in the palace and dont talk to people.
Also if people wont listen to Guilliman why would they listen to a banana man?

>>54555138

Their job isn't to pontificate or inform, it's to protect the Emperor. Shit that happens around it is not really their business. They didn't even really do much when it came to Goge Vandire, save for getting the future founder of the SoB into the Golden Throne so she could have a private chat with skull-dad.

The Imperium does what it will do because of the whims of the High Lords and power plays by everyone else. The Custodes keep the Emperor alive by playing neutral and presenting a very intimidating and deadly front to anyone who would try and fuck with them. That way they ensure the Emperor stays alive by focusing on that one task to the exclusion of everything else, rather than getting their hands in everything which would cause pushback.

>>54551853

>"Wha happen"

>>54555078
Uriel is boring.
Thiel is GOAT.

>>54555226
Valdor didn't age in the centuries between before the start of the Unification Wars and the start of the Great Crusade, much less then 200-300 years before it turned in the Horus Heresy after that.

>>54553130

Tech Heresy probably existed back in 30k.

>>54555304
Yeah, but still, 10000 years...

>>54555354
>>54555304
Do we even know if Valdor survives the Horus Heresy?

>>54555374
Pure headcanon/speculation, but I think in the new fluff he's probably going to be the one Horus kills that makes Emps snap and mindmelt him, given the Custodes seem to be the only thing he truly gives a shit about at this point.

>>54555422
I don't think it'd be Valdor, it should be one bad-ass loyal regular Human soldier or a random Custode. Valdor is too cool to be ended that way. Persoanl head canon or at least theory to me is that he's so ashamed of the Emperor's entombing into the Golden Throne and the injuries Horus dealt him that he went on a personal journey of atonement similar to Dorn until he died in battle against the traitor forces.

>>54555138
There's surely several Custodians who were alive during the Unification Wars even if they were whittled down to maybe a thousand during the whole War in the Webway. Since they haven't really seen active combat since Horus lost there should be at least a few hundred dudes who fought techno-barbarians and maybe a thousand who were there when the Emperor sat down on the throne one last time.

As for the second question, they don't give a shit. They protect the Emperor and lay down his will but only follow direct orders from him. They regard the space marines as a failed project and the Imperium as ultimately disposable.

>>54555553
>They regard the Space Marines as a failed project.
Proofs?

>>54555422
Emperor had Maclador, he gave a shit about him

Perhaps he gave a shit about Horus, i think he probably did, if not the rest.

>>54555754
Well we know its hammered over and over on us before the Heresy and even during it that of all his sons, Horus was the most favored and special to him even over Dorn, Guilliman, and Hawk-Boy.

>>54555607
Quints.

>>54555754
Emperor gave a shit about Horus the same way an average person gave a shit about their car. A favorite car, sure. But when it starts belching sulfuric fire and demanding you to resolve its daddy issues, it's also time to blow up that car.

>>54551891
Does someone happen to have the Yvraine edit?

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>>54556103

>>54556111
this should go
>we are not slaaneshi
for extra flavour

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>>54551853
>where the fuck is inquisitor obi-wan sherlock clouseau???

>>54555979
>Quints
>broken by 3

>>54551881

the best thing about 40k is that everything is canon and nothing is. The fluff is presented as snippets in time from some elses perspective.

Why did the Indomitis crusade achieve nothing? Why did we time skip over century? Why has the Return of Papa smurf changed nothing? Is anything planned to happen in the next 6 months?

>>54556611
We are getting AoS alliances.
Imperium, eldar, tau, necrons, all on one side and nids, chaos, orks, and I'm probably forgetting some on the other.

>>54553093
eighth post best post

>>54556010

I thought that was the way with the rest of them, but that Horus was different, considering he spent so much time with him and fought with him all the time.

He gave him a book on astronomy and showed him different star signs, he gave him his own signet ring from 30,000 years ago, he spent lots of personal time with him and seems to have genuinely cared, he resisted killing him until he saw what he did to the guardsman, even after he had attacked terra and killed sanguinius.

>>54556464
that's what I'm talking about!

>>54556611
>Why did we time skip over century?

This is something I've been meaning to ask about - if we've just had a 100 year time skip are all the imperial guard characters and the like now dead of old age or otherwise unfit to be battlefield bound?

I haven't really been following the 8th ed fluff, but something like that seems like a pretty big shakeup to all the non-ageless factions.

>>54557117
>all the non-ageless factions
which is literally only the IG?

>>54557117

The imperium has anti-aging drugs for important people

>>54555340
Tech Heresy is the end result of chaos corruption.

The only forbidden technology in the 30K era was true AI.

>>54557411
No? They have rejuvants or whatever that technology is called that massively SLOWS down the effect of aging for regular people. You mostly see Inquisitors and select members of like really really fucking rich or noble families being able to afford so someone whose 280 will look like they are merely in their late 40s or early 50s.

>>54557195
Don't Tau have a pretty short lifespan as well?

>>54557552
Well Farside is immortal and the one chick was on ice for a long ass time so they can pull that shit again

>>54557552
>Tau
who cares. Riptides are nerfed, you wont see Tau players anymore.

>>54553130
>Tech Heresy? What the fuck is tech heresy?
This is the guy who labelled Lorgar as a heretic for not being a fedora atheist.

If anyone can be on board with the everything is heresy meme, its him.

>>54556808
>he spent lots of personal time with him and seems to have genuinely cared, he resisted killing him until he saw what he did to the guardsman, even after he had attacked terra and killed sanguinius.

Anyone wanna bet money that it will be retconned so the Emperor will get to look like even more of an unreasonable douche?

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>>54555354
Actually, Custodes are 100% Immortal save by death in battle.

The primarchs fought in the great crusade and united humanity

The state of the imperium right now is like if the great crusade was 75 percent completed.

>>54558602

Why wasnt Custodes addapted to for wide scale military operation?

>>54558668
Because it was far too costly. In the time it took to make a single Custodian you could have 20 Space Marines, who were about 60% as effective. That's more than enough for the Emperor's purposes.

>>54558668
Either the secrets were too good to let out or even on the massive scale of the imperium it wasnt efficient.

>>54551853

Guys... I like the Ultramarines. After reading into their lore after dismissing them as faggot Mary-Sues even as far back as third edition and going for the more GRIMDARK shit, I've realised that I like the Ultramarines and their attitude towards things. Gulliman isn't even a giant piece of shit and actually cares about shit.

>>54558850
No reason why not to. Ultramarine ultra-hatred is a decade old meme at this point.

>>54558850

I'm making my own successor Chapter SM of Ultra stock. Ultras aren't that bad sans Ultra-wank, they're just fairly pragmatic marines.

>>54551853
>why the fuck is everyone praying
>whats up with these weird baby robots floating around
>who is this Calgar guy fucking everything up
>my throat hurts
>i wish Russ were here

>>54551853
"This is not ideal."

>>54558602
Post more Custodes stuff.

>>54559953
"Theoretical: The Imperium has stagnated, the science of my father's secular truth has been perverted into that which He most abhorred above all else. Faith. Superstition. Zealotry. This is not what my Father wanted."

Now someone come up with a Guilliman practical.

>>54560497
Just read the book. Thats his internal diologue the whole book.

>>54560515
Go away Lorgar.

>>54560525
Im a staunch Russfag i will have you know sir, and at the end of the book its hinted heavily that Guilliman has come to view the Emperor as a God.

>>54560515

What book?

>>54560566
Dark Imperium, the one that's about Guilliman, and ends with Guilliman on the precipice of worshiping the Big E even though he's decidedly not a fan of the higher echelons of the Ecclesiarchy.

>>54560497
Thats not a Theoretical anon. That is the Practical.

>>54560600

Will read.

>>54551897
im laffin

>>54554260
I'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING I CAN
THERE ARE NO HEROES LEFT IN MAN

>>54555553
>Custodian Dreadnought that's been alive since the Unification Wars

How many levels of Bjorn teir grumpy would he constantly be at?

>>54560689
They cut the passage off. Guilliman immediately regrets thinking that.

>>54560654
Yeah after he BTFOs a hilariously over the top Nurgle greater demon after it BTFO some sisters, gray knights and marines he starts to believe after the Emperors Sword causes it great pain and death and only he and a humble Priest escape the mass carnage.

>>54551853
>Waking up was a mistake

>>54560699
Well i mean the custodes were always so haughty and aloof and hold themselves above everyone. Bjorn just gets grumpy because he is a bro who just wants to have a normal conversation but cant get two words out because everyone to orgasms in religious fervor.

>>54560764
>A smug super condescending Custodes Dreadnought who can go hours upon hours talking about his past glories and his times with The Emperor himself constantly berating and mocking the accomplishments of whoever he's speaking too.

>>54560853
Custodes confirmed to be of British descent.

Question, did the emperor talk to him or not?

Some things I've read say that we don't know, he leaves the golden throne and says "I've heard all I need" or something like that.

I've also heard people claiming the emperor says he never cared for the primarchs, but I can't find a source for that.

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>>54551853
THIS ACTION DOES NOT HAVE MY CONSENT

>>54560927
Yeah. But like the Emperor's prior M41 portrayal in Inqusition Wars, the Emperor is quite insane and unlikely to still have the capacity for love.
Or, if you like the HH series, never did love the Primarchs.
It's irrelevant in the end, since old and new fluff seems to have brought about the same M41 Emperor.

>>54553093
Bobby G is /ourguy/

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>>54560959
>>54560927
I dont believe the Emperor never cared for the Primarchs. He called them his sons from the get go, and only speaks negatively of the traitors. Calling them by their number, as "it" or referring to them as creatures. The onky case you can make is what he says to that Magos after finding Angron but you can just as easily dismiss that as ADBs shit writing.

>>54560720

True. Immediately afterwards he reminds himself that he's standing in the presence of people who are actually living, and finding the strength to stand even after ten millennia of this bullshit. He might have seen a brighter future during the Great Crusade, but the grim darkness of the far future is all these people have ever known.

These fucking religious nutjob weirdos still manage to find the will to live in this bullshit. How can he, a fucking Primarch, be despairing when these people still resist? He was brought back to be a symbol for them, the least he can do is chin up and get to work.

>>54560927

He basically saw the Emperor for what the Emperor is, scarcely even human anymore, but so much more than he had once been. Almost a true warp god, to be sure. He's lost a great deal, if not all, his humanity, and at least has lost the concept of subtlety; he reveals unwittingly that the consider the Primarchs as merely creations to further his own aims for mankind, and the whole Father and Sons thing was just a façade he put on for their benefit. The Emperor never truly thought of the Primarchs as his Sons, just as a means to an end.

>>54560959
He isng insane. Hes been diabetic since 804 B.C. and the Custode that gave him his insulin died on the Vengeful Spirit. Thats why Horus was able to hurt him and why he hasnt revived himself.

>>54561025
>He basically saw the Emperor for what the Emperor is, scarcely even human anymore, but so much more than he had once been. Almost a true warp god, to be sure. He's lost a great deal, if not all, his humanity, and at least has lost the concept of subtlety; he reveals unwittingly that the consider the Primarchs as merely creations to further his own aims for mankind, and the whole Father and Sons thing was just a façade he put on for their benefit. The Emperor never truly thought of the Primarchs as his Sons, just as a means to an end.

Where is this from? This is what I was referring to. I hear this said but I don't know the source.

>>54561326
Dark Imperium you dumb fuck. I swear to god jack you need to read more

>>54560959
When does the Emperor show up in Inquisition wars?

>>54560853
>1st founding Chapter Master smugly speaks of all the crusades he's been on
>Custodes Dreadnought retorts with his 753 names carved into the inside of his armor by the Emperor himself
>Space Marine claims he is humanity perfected, a perfect combination of efficient creation and maximum potential
>Custodes Dreadnought retorts with "There were once those who claimed the same. They were called the Thunder Warriors. We put them down."

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>>54560462

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>>54561959

>>54554095
In Dark Imperium there are like 5 at a war meeting and the leader of them is all grouchy. Guillman thinks about how they dwelled on their failure for 10k years and how it is too late to make them an effective fighting force.

>>54561581
>autism the post

That aside, Bjorn fights. Janitor Dreds have been busy playing hide and seek (they call them blood games to sound cool to their superior astartes cousins) and finger popping each others assholes for 10,000 years.

>>54551853
>Put me back in

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>>54551853

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>>54551853
>>54562259

>>54561388
Chaos Child I believe, but I could be wrong it's been a while. It's the AGONIZINGLY ALONE speech you see so much around here (but it's a good one so I'm not complaining).

>>54561959
>>54561985
Honestly I just want to build and paint these for display purposes. They look hella fucking cool.

Brace yourselves,

After Guilliman, Lion is next in revival. It's even implied in their 30K books that Guilliman would only listen to the advice of Lion above his own pragmatism. It was a set up for the 40K moment to arrive very soon.

Then Russ and Khan are returning. It's heavily implied when Magnus starts winning vs. Guilliman in their duel that Russ is Magnus' only fated equal in combat.

But best of all, Sanguinius will be revealed as a last minute traitor in 30K, then return in 40K as a Daemon Prince.

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>>54562596
And I'm sure you're dad works at Geedubs?

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>>54562284
>>54562259

>>54562625
You only need to know how the company works.

After Magnus, Russ, new Guilliman, and Demon Magnus totally sold out, you bet your faggot little ass that more returns will happen in 40K.

The big fucking Sanguinius twist has been rumored for a year.

>>54562596
>It's heavily implied when Magnus starts winning vs. Guilliman in their duel that Russ is Magnus' only fated equal in combat.
No it wasnt retard.

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>>54555283

>>54555283
Someone set up the Imperium the bomb

>>54561959
>Shapura
>Shapur
GW really loves those Persian references in the Custodes.

>>54554303
I thought they were constantly fighting demons leaking into the palace or something?

>>54557117
Warp travel a bitch. One could skip more than a decade of real time for eaxh year in warp travel.

Combine this with rejuvilant drugs and a human can hit 500+ real time years with active fuckery

>>54562596

Traitor Sanguinius sounds fucking gay and retarded on your part and you should feel ashamed of mentioning this kind of theory.

>>54565478
It's so bad it must be true.

>>54561959
that shield is giving me a boner

>>54562596
Haven't been paying attention, but last i heard, Magnus was thrown into the webway after the battle on the moon, correct?

>>54561010
Probably treats them like dogs
>Horus! Where's my good boy?

>>54554260

Too bad they didn't stay with this Guilliman. In Dark Imperium novel has him all huzzah and looking forward to reforming the Imperium. GW throwing the inconic 40k grimdarknes out of the window again.

I work in GW, you will only hear this once and in this very post. Treasure it.

- Magnus once thrown in the webway comes to understand what the Emperor was trying to do. Will eventually lead to Magnus doublecrossing Tzeentch and sitting on the Iron Throne as a replacement for the Emperor to allow for the Emperor to rise from the Golden Throne in GW storyline of 2019.
- Malcador is revealed to still exist in the Warp after fusing with energies there, as a benevolent force. His essence and support will be what finally gives the new Eldar God substantial power over the Big four.
- Slaanesh is to be phased out with Eldar god of Death's Immaterium arrival. He will enter realspace as an insanely powerful being, but will be permanently unable to access his previous power. Slaaneshi uniys are totally being fused with Dark Elves. Jaghatai Khan will return for Dark Elf - Scar storylines 2020.
- Leman Russ is only to return when Tyranids begin changing course towards Fenris.
- Lion's resurrection happens via Guilliman's discovery of his existence. Watchers are revealed to have been a benevolent xenos race that the Emperor allowed to live when he discovered that their had the inability to affect or be affected by the Immaterium. Cypher returns the sword to Lion, and Luther is allowed to finally be free.
- Necrons, with all their factions, will get involved in Cadian storyline.
- It will be revealed that Old Ones were not a benevolent precursor civilization. They are just as flawed as Necrons and C'Tan.

A lot of stuff is planned, but the summary of it is; storylines which are getting sales traction are being boosted by fluff.

You're welcome.

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>>54551853

https://twitter.com/angryroboute?lang=en

You'll thank me later.

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>>54568834
>I work in GW
>calls DEldar, Dark Elves

>>54551853
Shit got fucked up

>>54568834
>It will be revealed that Old Ones were not a benevolent precursor civilization. They are just as flawed as Necrons and C'Tan.

If this were to come true, then the recently hinted link that Tyranids were in some way created by the Old Ones would make sense.

Granted this shit would make the 40k universe self-contained within its own galaxy, and the Tyranids would essentially become the reapers from mass effect, or the flood from halo.

>>54572954

Or the Zerg, funnily enough.

>>54568834
Wasn't there a rumor about two legions changing sides?

>40k TS loyalists
Muh dick