>You enter the inn >It's full of adventurers with

>>54253442
>Let the rest of the cloak fall off from my hands, now dragging the floor
I'm a grower, not a shower.

>>54253442

Clearly they're projecting.
I have nothing to demostrate to anyone: stare as they might, they're only aware of their own shame.
Bigger cloaks don't mean better adventurers!
After all, the important thing is how you use it.

>walk around the bar tearing down all the curtains and tapestries, and picking up all the rugs
>drape them all over my head
Your move, tavern.

>>54253750
>the curtains are magically enchanted to be jealous of one another, refusing to be worn by the same person

>>54253802
>But also too jealous to allow the person wear any other curtains
>So they fight about it

File: I need the booty.png (1MB, 1080x1224px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1080x1224px

I cast peepers wind to blow up the skirts of everyone cloaks.

If they get to see my legs, I get to see theirs.

>trips on cloak, spaghetti falls out of pocket

>>54254110
How do you trip on a cloak that is too short?

File: a0o5k_f-thumbnail-100-0_s-600x0.jpg (452KB, 600x457px) Image search: [Google]

452KB, 600x457px

>>54253822
this could be interesting

>>54254306
Natural 1

Roll diplomacy or bluff to not get laughed out of the inn

>I meant to do this!

>>54253442

"I've got two hundred gold for the first man, woman, or abomination to bring me the largest cloak in the Rivermark."

>>54254390
I roll to intimidate people into not laughing, then I roll to intimidate my cloak into never tripping me up again.

Rolled 15, 10 = 25 (2d20)

>>54254782

>>54253442
>I rip off my cloak and declare myself the head of the anti-cloak rebellion.
Who is with me?
Can you hear the people sing?

>>54254390
>nat 1
>result isn't "Your diplomatic attempt is so bad that the gods smite you with a huge thunderbolt that shatters the entire planet! LOL xD!"

Wow, unimaginative DM I guess.

What if I'm wearing a cape?

>>54253442
I take my cloak off, slowly saunter up next to the biggest cloak at the bar, and order a glass of milk.

Bring it, cloak-chads.

>>54253442
I'm literally half Gnome half Cloaker though. Freak Magical accident, don't ask, it's terrifying.

>>54257355
The cloak hipsters are not impressed by the reality of your heritage. They are clearly more interested in having the biggest most impressive cloak. It's enough to make a cloaker-kin retch from disgust and despair.

>>54254725
This, except narrow down the search area to just the tavern.

>>54253442
"what? is it that I'm the one NOT compensating for something?" rolling for diplomacy.

>>54253442
I take out two magical torches from under my cloak, light them up and scream "Time of reckoning bloodsucking bitches!" and start burning everything.

>>54253802
You joke, but I had a DM who would do stuff like that. "Oh, you want to do something that I didn't plan for and wouldn't go along with my ocdonutsteel storyline? Well, you can't because reality has decided to fuck with you."

I cast Enlarge/reduce on my cloak, shaming the patrons with the size of my now massive cloak