>The Queen has offered to reward you if you can goad her daughters

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"Quit being a lazy piece of shit"

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>>54220279
Introduce one to the Lake of Black Tears.

>>54220318
The ending of that game was shit.

Just sayan.

>>54220346
It was, but the rest was awesome.

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>>54220311
Also the less lethal option, though you need to stay and cast it every day it's workout day.

Become the ultimate personal trainer.

>>54220376
Also some neat ideas.

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>Let some Orcs into the castle to give the girls the spooks

In all seriousness, would that solve the problem?

>>54220279
>Be max Cha bard
>Seduce princesses
>Convince them to join you in your adventures as you travel in search of great events and heroes to sing about

>>54220617
Yes. Either the nobles die and nobody misses them, or they step up their game and actually do shit.

You play a series of harmless pranks on the daughters.
Itching powder on all the lounging surfaces
Squirrel pheromones and peanuts in the dressing room
Just bother the shit outta them 'til they leave the palace

>hire the prettiest carnie/street performer acrobat/whatever, dress her as princess, give her some weird excuse for being around
>have her hassle princesses
>first princess that objects gets taken to suplex city
>fake princess's job is now to sit around being visibly smug all of the time
>training montage
>fake princess's job is now to just barely allow herself to be taken to suplex city
>fake princess gets a bonus and can now return to her wagon

>>54220279
I'll tell the Queen that she should force her daughters to become active by placing a condition on her inheritance. The more successful they are in life the more they get out of their mothers eventual death. Otherwise they ain't getting shit if they just laze around doing nothing all day

>>54220973
Anon, have you never heard of Chekhov's Gun?
I'm just saying, don't pull out the phrase 'suplex city' unless you're willing to put Brock Lesnar in a dress to make this thing work.

Sexual slavery is good exercise.

>>54220279
Drag them all to the countryside and make them farmgirls.

>>54220617
>a game where you play a bunch of local orc roustabouts hired to pretend to be raiders for a royal scared straight program
I'd play it.

>>54220279

>Cast Raise Dead on their animal pelts

That oughta get 'em moving.

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>>54221493
>a game where you play a bunch of local orc roustabouts hired to pretend to be raiders for a royal scared straight program

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>>54220279
>The sun gently rises in the Kingdom
>The birds start singing their love song, welcoming the warm light of the day
>The princesses sleep comfily over their thick mattresses, covered by the softest silk human hands can make
>If the princesses were awake they would notice the sweet smell of fresh baked croissants and cakes
>They would also notice the strong steps over the marble, coming in their direction
>But suddenly, tranquility ends
>"REVEILLE! REVEILLE! REVEILLE!"
>Three mad men enter the room, one of them loudly bangs an iron bucket with a club
>"YOU HAVE EXACTLY THREE SECONDS TO GET ON OUR FUCKING FEET OR I SWEAR I'LL RIP YOUR BOWELS AND HANG YOUR PRETTY NECKS FROM THEM!"
>The princesses start screaming, something logic since it's not usual having unknown people shouting at you. Specially people this menancing.
>"SAVE YOUR BREATH, YOU MAGGOTS, TRUST ME YOU'LL NEED IT! YOU'LL DO PT UNTIL THE WALLS OF THE CASTLE SWEET!"
>"DO YOU LIKE RESTING, YOU LAZY PILLS OF SHIT? WELL THAT'S FUCKING GREAT, FRONTAL LEANING REST POSITION! NOW, EVERYONE OF YOU WILL GIVE ME TWENTY AND YOU'LL COUNT THEM FOR ME!

>>54221447
I think people other than Bork are allowed to suplex somebody eighty times in a row.

>>54221447
Reminds me of a story where That Guy got hunted down and trapped by a duo of Bounty hunters.
One was an illusionist, who disguised the other as the type of woman That Guy kept repeatedly attacking.
His partner was Sir Randal the Savage.

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>>54220279
>>The Queen has offered to reward you if you can goad her daughters into less languid life-styles.
I use the Apple of Discord (now in spreadable form!) to make them compete with each other for it.

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curse the princess with some horrible curse and tell her the only thing that will cure it is to [INSERT QUEST]. she don't have to do it all by herself but she can't accept any help that wasn't given without her asking.
she'll be an adventurer in a month.

>>54222578
That's assuming she isn't one of those whiny princesses that'd rather bitch about her woes on a Taiwanese finger-puppet imageboard than actually do something about it.

>>54222624
just adjust the curse to fit the person i guess.

>>54220279
Get them back braces.

>>54222361

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Give her coke habit, suddenly find her blowing dicks in taverns for more coke.

>>54220346
What about the ending was shit?
Also we played it mostly for the world and not the story, lets all be real.

>>54222836
Fun magical realm.

>>54220346
DECAPITATIOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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>>54220279
>"But mum-mums it's soooo HOOOOOOT reeee"
>tfw no rich autistic lazy princess gf

>>54221534
Without any skeleton to give if form, the undead pelt couldn't really fight off the princess. You'd basically just have a fur blanket that snuggles you if you lie down on it.

I feel like this is only going to make the princess lazier and comfier than ever.

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>>54221724
I'll just pretend you didn't say that.

>>54222930
Dorf fort had an interesting bug where, since anything with a grasp could be raised and boneless fleshless hands were still technically a body part capable of grasping, necromancers could raise sheets of flayed skin and hide to attack the living.

Just do something like that. Skinsend, but as a minion.

Probably still super comfortable though. Actually, stealing this for vampire nobles.

>>54220617
Probably not. It would just result in the creation of half-orcs. Not to mention the princesses would be sitting on their asses and acting spoiled at exponentially increased levels for around 9 months, perhaps longer now that they can pull the mother card.

>>54220279
Just go Sun Tzu on 'em.

>>54223186
I really appreciate that the Orcs post managed to have three normal replies before somebody went Magical Realm with it.
Baby steps, /tg/.

>>54220692
>princess dies in a critical hit from a random hoodlum
Great job.

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>>54221724
What would 'im upstairs think of that?

>>54222858
The way they attached it right on the ass of the 2nd act.

>>54223360
It feels like this is a common problem for vidya plotting - having the Third Act be nothing but a boss fight at the end of the Second Act.
I mean, that would *almost* work with a 4th act at the end of a 3rd act, but pretty much nobody makes it that far.

>>54223543
>It feels like this is a common problem for vidya plotting
It's usually referred to as "Xen syndrome", Xen in the name referring to the Xen levels of the original Half-Life.

>>54223603
You know, when I first played HL as a kid, I had like zero problems with those levels. I was a freak or something. So years later, hearing people complain about it, I didn't really understand.
Then I played it as an adult. Apparently, whatever magic I had at 16 was gone by 24, and I suddenly understood.
Not a bad term for the problem. It might have something to do with the medium itself being different then the tv/movie/play formats we tend to use for storytelling on it, but I have no idea where to go with that thought, and I'm already drifting pretty far away from /tg/.

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>>54223329
Same thing he usually thinks about wacky sandal hijinks in his attic.

>>54220279
Send assassins after them

Incompetent assassins, at first, just to let them know what is going on, and then growing in skill and power until they're forced to git gud or git ded

>>54223720
The problem isn't that there were any difficulty-related problems with Xen levels, the problem is that they were empty as fuck and poorly designed in general.
They felt like filler that shouldn't've been there. Hopefully, Black Mesa fixes this problem when it comes out this year.

>>54220692
You know it's gonna be Tales of the Silver Prince all over again

>>54223772
>tfw no tv show where the Three Stooges are sent on an assassination mission

>>54223329
The fuck?
Candlecove was real?

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>>54220279
I get a spartan woman to get her to exercise more.

>>54223861
That's the trap door, you daft sod.

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Hire some pretty young actresses from another city, outfit them with fancy clothes, and present them as visiting foreign nobles. With the Queen playing along with the ruse, it should be perfectly easy to get them introduced as fashionable companions for the princesses.

After they've befriended the princesses, have the faux-noblewomen introduce them to sportive aristocratic pastimes like archery, horseback riding, and falconry. Coming from their new "friends" these suggestions should be much better received than their mother's nagging was, and they're sure to have a great time running around the countryside shooting arrows at small animals and having picnics and so forth.

After a couple of months, it's time for the visiting nobles to "return home," but by now the princesses find their former habit of lying around all day napping on leopard pelts terribly boring and they continue on being active.

>>54223894
nice dick sucking lips

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>>54223894
>there will never be an xcom/princess trainer hybrid

I'm going to stare at Gibson Girls and sigh repeatedly.

>>54224358
>>there will never be an xcom/princess trainer hybrid
EraMegaten?

>>54220279
I offer the daughters as a sacrifice to the local dragoness, then bang the dragoness

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>>54224443
I'm googling this but none of the results are in English so I don't know. MegaTen seems to be some kind of more open ended jrpg. I was imagining alternating between training sequences and battles but instead of battles it's some weird princess American Gladiators. I really doubt that someone has made this already.

>>54220294
How is life on autistic arrested development like, I wonder.

>>54220346
Never got to the ending, the final "RTS" part was too hard with its clumsy controls, and they fucking gated what is nearly the perfect "Cruising in a metallic monster of a car" song (Painkiller, I realize it's about a bike but still.) Behind beating the game.

>>54221447

The question is not "am I willing to put Brock Lesnar in a dress," the question is "can I get by with using Brock Lesnar in a dress."

You must deal with the sadness of all the times the question is "no," but you rest easily in the knowledge that you will not miss any of the times the answer could be "yes."

>>54224452

After a few days of laying with the dragoness (she took a like to you and are now her favorite) you are inform that the princesses have escape the dungeon, kill the guards and left a message promising to come back for you and the dragoness.

Congrats you have become penultimate boss in a campaign.

>>54224626
So like, X-com style grid stuff where you have the princesses competing in less-lethal events or more showy combat, with them slowly improving and gaining ranks, which can then further be influenced by out of battle lessons?

Seems a bit weird and specific, though honestly I do wish more games would go for grid-based tactics nowadays.

>>54223800
C'mon man, let him dream.

Besides, I highly doubt any of them are as dangerous as Vastoki or Littari. If any of them decide that killing you will be fun, then just stay the fuck away, which Kassardis did.

That story's ended now, did you read it? If not, I highly recommend you do.

>>54220294
Wait, isn't that the manga where the turtle god swaps her mind with someone else's because they insulted him?

>>54223284
>rape and pregnancy are automatic magical realm and not just part and parcel of living in a big city with orcs in it

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>>54220279
Give them an all expenses paid vacation to a beautiful relaxation spa.

There is no relaxation spa. I and my cronies with a bunch of the queen's guards who probably have a grudge to settle with the spoiled brats join me in the woods to stage a horrifying semi-rapey attack on their carriage.
We let them get away and hound them through the woods for the next month as a mysterious ranger teaches them how to survive.

We get the party necromancer to necromancer a bunch of skeletons for them to "fight" through, culminating with the defeat of the "skeleton king" who is really just a regular skeleton in fancier armor.

They will only be able to get home after achieving the skills of at least a 5th level fighter

>>54220279
Offer the queen a new daughter, me.
A male half-orc ranger, I'll be the best princess she can ever have. The purity of the blood line? Psshaw, I got elder blood in me, i'sall good.

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>>54227598

>>54227598
5th level fighter sounds like a tall order for NPCs. Still a pretty good plan though.

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>>54227598
>They will only be able to get home after achieving the skills of at least a 5th level fighter
That could take years

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>>54227598
>I and my cronies with a bunch of the queen's guards who probably have a grudge to settle with the spoiled brats join me in the woods to stage a horrifying semi-rapey attack on their carriage.
>Semi-rapey

>>54227762
I think the idea is to get them concerned about the possibility, without actually doing much.

>>54227751
>>54227747
>Years to achieve the skills of a 5th level fighter
Well yes, plenty of time for the queen to find suitable partners for them.

of course by that time they will have grown strong and willful due to their time in the woods fighting skeletons and fleeing bandits. I daresay even a little bit independent, having outgrown the frill of castle life.

Then the queen will have a new headache. Finding suitable matches for her warrior daughters. Thankfully there are several trusted fighters on hand who have spent this time buttering up the queen...

>>54227786
Tearing dresses, talking about how much "fun" they are going to have with them, telling them how they will be passed around the men like a bag of chips.

>>54227822
>>54227786
>One of the queen's daughters is way into it because that is her specific fetish
What then smart guy?

>>54227837
That's when the mysterious ranger swoops in to 'save' her. The guy taking a dive as the others flee and he drags her off.

>>54227797
I think it's less about time involved and more about the fact that level 5 fighter skills aren't that useful.

I would say to go for a level in Rogue or Ranger rather than fighter. Even if they mostly learn survival skills, Stealth and Perception might still come in handy in court politics. Plus it's a decent amount of combat skill if they get into trouble, and shouldn't be a prohibitively long training time.

>>54227590
Maybe people's orcs don't just go raping left and right

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>>54228051
here here!

>>54227912
This is why the plan calls for skellingtons later, skeletons can't/don't rape and make perfect fodder for the princesses to cut down

>>54227941
>Rogue or Ranger rather than fighter.
Actually, I like this plan, but at least one of them has to be a fighter to round out the party, that and I like the idea of one of the pricesses being the sneaky stealthy rogue good at politics, the other being a mysterious ranger gal, and the third being the awkward /fit/ fighter

Whichever daughter has the most freckles is the one who will be shoehorned into being a fighter

>>54228144
Depends how many daughters she has. If you're lucky, you might even be able to get one to learn some druidic skills. Only thing I could see being available in the forest unless you find a witch, and that seems hazardous. Ideally whichever one goes into fighter would have a good baseline of tactical knowledge to be able to get a more military inclined position as well.

Either way, pretty well rounded adventuring party, and should provide a good foundation for them to move forward from.

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>>54227459
Yeah, this exactly. Princess capture the flag. Princess queen of the hill. Princess whatever that american gladiators thing with the giant q tips on a balance beam is.

I remind the princesses that only one of them can be queen some day, and then play the part of the loyal vizier, helping them plot against each other and learn the ruthless ways of politics.

>>54221930
Hail ERIS, goddess of fnord discord, that thou wilt send CHAOS, the great force that is all, to fnord the glory of thy children and to the glory of thy fnord name. Fnord throw the golden apple and let's fnord play hot potato.

>>54224626
MASSIVE CHALICE

>>54227751
>>54227762

Depends on system. Not so bad in 5e, with an artificially inflated encounter rate they could make it in the span of the average European vacation

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>>54228422
This is just medieval xcom plus your dudes make babies and the babies grow up to be your new dudes and also horrible lovecraft monsters eat them sometimes, right? It's kind of a different thing.

>>54227837

Her, we keep.

>>54228229
That sounds wonderful.

>>54228422
Seems pretty neat, though I think what >>54228510 is after is more about princesses doing sport combat more than anything else.

>>54220279
Sex is a rather active activity, I'll introduce them to it.

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>>54228534
are you a self contained game studio

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>>54220279
Lazy Neet Princesses are the best.

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>The Queen has offered to reward you if you can get her barbarians to calm down, seriously Sheila what are you doing just shut the fuck up for thirty seconds everything is ok

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>>54220279

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>54220279
Rolling for a princess. Five all at once is a lot to look after.

Massive amounts of rape

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>The Queen has offered to reward you if you can get her daughters to stop being such fucking nerds

>>54234144

>All five

You have a long hard road ahead of you.

>>54234744
>95% camo index

>>54227941
>level 5 fighter skills aren't that useful
Depends on the system.

>>54227598
That poor ranger.

>>54223543
SPACE MARINE

>>54234671
>Ophelia you're bringing your bullshit Prussian infinite fairy loop deck again fucking christ
>Beatrice's talking animal buff deck hard counters it and you can swap in tech cards to keep yourself competitive, you just refuse to get g
>RHGHGHGRHGRLGRHGHGHGRHGRLG

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>>54236487
>Prussian fairies
Thank you for that mental image, Anon. It is the most adorable militaristic state I've ever heard of.

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>>54227567
No, it's the manga where a little girl is given superpowers to save the world with the help of her beast knights. However, the only reason she's going along with it is because she wants to use those powers to destroy the world with her own bare hands.

Hoshi no Samidare. It's pretty good.

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>>54228123
>skeletons can't/don't rape

>>54228510
>first mission
>rookie princess squad gets wrecked with the entire team either fainted or crying, opponents are fine
>various games and training sequences
>same princess squad goes up against the team they faced in the first mission and clonks their bonkers
>cake

>>54221493
>one of the princesses has an orc rape fantasy
>'I'M NOT PAID ENOUGH TO ENTER A ROYAL SCANDAL'

>>54237322
>Pretty good
Its a goddamn treasure
Good comedy, good tears, good action.

Seriously, I would love to play a game in the setting. One of the failed runs (with the potential to change) would be amazing. Just need 12 people who are really good at roleplay and a DM with fuck tons of time.

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>>54238225
>>54237322
Everything by Satoshi Mizukami is a treasure.

Damn shame he'll never be popular enough to get an anime.

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>>54236932

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>>54239411
>Princesses leading small nations of fairies in peace and war!
>Each has its own ideology, a little informed by the personality of its princess!
>Tiny fairy infantries and regiments marching in military parade across the dinner table!
>It's somewhere between a game and deadly seriousness, but that suits the fairies fine. They don't stay dead for too long anyway.

>>54223329
>Trap Door
God-tier taste, my friend.

>>54223861
Nope, Trapdoor.
https://youtu.be/-9dbAQJIu1o

>>54236932
You are wrong, anon.
Prussia was not a militaristic state; it was a military which just happened to have a state attached to it.

>>54239502
>a complex series of alliances keeps the tea party running smoothly until Priscilla trips and falls in the cake before it can be served

>>54237386
>fat
>conquistador
>breakdancing
>museum
>prof dracula

r8 my skelly

>>54239502
This suddenly got way too "Lost Children arc of Berserk" for me.

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>>54239835
>Alpenfeejager fighting across the rooftops
>Tiny trenches in the flowerbeds. Where ones the tulips stood, now there are only artillery craters and no-man's land.
>The gardeners refuse to go near it. Every so often, a tinny 'crack!' can be heard, followed by an, "Ow! Dammit..." and a small, spectral fairy floating off to their graveyard, pouting.
>The Big Push was called off when a stray shell hit a bee nest and the trenches had to be evacuated for hours, until the angry swarm was dispersed by a gas barrage
>The fishing lakes and duck ponds have become sights of naval warfare and of course, amphibious assaults
>The Bunnyhug landings against the Red Teapot Coalition will long be remembered as a scene of heroism and determination in the face of overwhelming odds

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>>54240204
>A corner of the patio is a mess
>Fairies stand about 13cm (5in) high. Their tallest spires are about as high as your stomach
>Pixiestadt has been under siege ever since the Cake Incident. Its once shining spires, churches and galleries have been reduced to twinkling rubble.
>Brutal street-to-street fighting has ground into a stalemate of tiny machine guns and silvery-white blood
>Pillowland has vowed that this next push will at last break the spirit of the Daisy Federation
>12,000 infantry in dress skirts salute their princess in a grand parade at breakfast, biplanes no bigger than models soaring overhead
>Most will never see home again...
>At least until they pop back into existence, upset that they got taken out some some camping sniper asshole in a building somewhere
>Meanwhile, Euphemia and Priscilla have secretly made up about the cake. They just don't want to tell the fairies, who are having so much fun battling it out for their princess's 'honour'.
>The poor, beleaguered butler would like to ask them to stop, but is hopeless against their puppy-eyes
>And so the Great Palace War enters its forth month...

>>54241859
>>Meanwhile, Euphemia and Priscilla have secretly made up about the cake. They just don't want to tell the fairies, who are having so much fun battling it out for their princess's 'honour'.

This is the best. Eighty star general or worst conscript, fairies just want to prove that their princess is the prettiest, smartest, most powerful, best dressed, and so on, by crushing all those who say otherwise (other fairies who feel the same way, but about the wrong princess) and maybe get a head pat of recognition for doing so.

>>54242275
>Priscilla is a very proud, but fair girl and in respect for that, her fairies formed a constitutional monarchy (with their leader basically being Priscilla's favourite)
>Euphemia is the richest and has the best ojousama laugh, so her fairies are a much more totalitarian, absolutist monarchy
>Elizabeth is always kind and caring, with her fairies forming a liberal democracy
>No-one knows how Martha the common maid got a fairy nation, but now there's tiny commies running around trying to 'spread the revolution' and also force the others to acknowledge that Martha is best girl.

It's usually all in good fun! The Cake incident just kind of got out of hand... It didn't help that Lili Twinkletinker figured out industrialization a few years ago (which angered the Workshop Union of Sprites and Imps, but that's a whole other story...)

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>>54239502
>>54240204
>>54241859
>>54242275
>>54242452

>>54242452
>alliances
>"Priscilla is prettiest! Elizabeth is also prettiest, but less."

>>54220279
Poke them with a stick.

>>54221719

Sun Tzu actually did this to Chinese imperial concubines at one point.

Conclusions from this thread:
>Princesses are cute
>/tg/ still likes princesses
>princesses are not for grimdark
>princesses are for overselling mild stress followed by a cooldown period where they have snacks or hold hands

Is that about it?

>>54243381
>physically useless princesses are ok
>adventure princesses are ok
>hybrid princesses are ok
>conflicts that involve putting a bitch in the boston crab are ok
>conflicts that do not involve putting a bitch in the boston crab are ok
>princesses aren't useless but sometimes they're out of their element

>>54242863
Didn't he also executed some of them when they still tried to laze about ?

>>54242863
>>54244705
Yeah. The Emperor was like "No dont do that"
and he was like "Sometimes a commander has to disobey orders."

He was a douchebag.

>>54220279
Awful shoujo manga to the rescue. Alternatively, do >>54244705
>>54244725

>>54220294

And you needed a trip to post that.
How much more fucking autistic your lot can be?

>>54235633
This is why they get paid

>>54234671
>>54236487
kek

You can see her nipples

>>54245561
MODS!

>>54245561
>>54245759
It's an art, though. A serious one.

>>54242452
>Each army has it's own little battlecry
>You always know when Euphemia's army goes into battle, as the echoing shrill of a thousand "~OHohohoh" 's fills the battlefield.

>>54243381
Yep, about right. Guess that's why there's such a big stealth /mlp/ presence here. AJ a best.

>>54240204
>>54241859
>>54242275
>>54242452

>Princes are introduced to the Princesses
>Are amused at the fairies antics
>Princesses ask them what they do for recreation
>"Pretty much the same thing except our respawn times are a lot longer and we use a lot more horses."

>>54242532
Alternatively:
>"So we're all agreed. Elizabeth is prettiest, but Priscilla is cleverest-"
>"Only a little bit!"
>"Only a little bit, yes. And they're tied for niceness."
>"And Martha's nice, but not AS nice. Those bolshevik dummies can suck it."
>"Wait, we haven't covered playroom rights on Tuesdays, or who makes the best tea!"
>There's a brief pause in the proceedings, before the Pillowland representative hurls the papers into the air
>"SON OF A FUCK-!"

>>54246115
>That visiting princess from the East brought her fairies
>"天皇陛下万歳!!!"
>"Oh tea and biscuits! Here they come again!"
>"Fix bayonets! Fix bayonets dammit! Someone get on the MG!"

>>54246892
>Fairy stomping past, muttering amuses the princes no end
>"Scheißkopf sniper arschloch! Fight like a real fairy instead of hiding in the buildings all the time, gott verdammt! Deine mutter geht in der stadt huren!"
>Fairy promptly realises the princesses have gone atomic red and squeaks, fleeing, while the princes fall about themselves laughing

If the princes are anything like young boys when I was a kid, they'd try and take charge and the fairies would have to very politely (possibly with artillery) ask them to leave them alone and let them sort this out the fairy way.

>>54244705
>>54244725
>executing the royal hoes
Why TF would you do that? They're hoes, not special forces recruits!

>>54248461
Sun Tzu made a bet with his king that he could turn even the palace concubines into elite soldiers, to prove that he was the greatest general to have ever lived. The king took him up on that.

So Sun Tzu treated them like any other recruits. When he ordered them to line up and they tittered and played about, he ordered two of them brought forward, one the king's favourite and ordered them executed in front of the rest as a warning. The king tried to stop him, but Sun was all like "His majesty has told me to make warriors of these women, so that is what I shall do. If his majesty interferes with the expertise of his generals in this, will he in the field? Will his majesty sacrifice victory for the sake of his whims?" and the concubines heads fell.

The women promptly started obeying orders after that and became trained soldiers. Sun Tzu had made his point. The concubines themselves weren't important; making his point to his boss was the goal.

>>54248688
>traumatizing your slave wives and then giving them physical and mental fortitude
I feel like this isn't the smartest thing to do.

>>54248728
Actually, being a Chinese king's concubine was typically a very sought-after position, especially to become the king's favourite, or mother of his heir. They lived very comfortable lives under most circumstances, more of a threat to one another as they jostled for position, than to the king/emperor.

Frankly, having your concubines as trained soldiers just means their little spats will get sorted out more directly and any assassins hoping to catch you with your pants down were in for a HELL of a nasty shock!

>>54242452
>Dear dairy,
>Today was a good day. Why was it a good day? Princess Priscilla told me I did a good job, that's why! I've not been able to stop smiling all day!
>Okay, so she didn't say it to me specifically; she was addressing the entire Fifth Army Corps, but still!
>We were all lined up on parade, neat blue skirts pressed, rifles oiled and bayonets polished and Priscilla said she was proud of each and every one of us for our brave efforts taking Picnic Hill.
>The colonel even got a pat on the head! So lucky! It just makes me all the more eager to keep going! The Fifth isn't stopping until we've pushed the Daisies into the duckpond!
>Just wait, princess! I'll make you proud!

>From the journal of Private Sunny Skies
>Sunny was killed in action by a strafing run, during the Daisy Federation's counter-push to take back Picnic Hill and secure the commanding position for their artillery
>After returning to service, Private Sunny transferred to the army air corps
>Her given reasons were "To get revenge on those flygirls who think they're such hot shit. Also, the air corps is flashier, so the Princess is bound to notice me then!"

>>54237386
>Ghost
>Pirate
>Dirty Magnetic Bones
>Underwater ruins
>Kelly Goldstein

I'll take skeleton rape with a side of actual dolphin rape.

>>54220279
>acquire witch
>bribe witch with children and pretending she's still "got it" after eight centuries
>curse the daughters to constantly feel they are on fire, while not actually being on fire

How many people genuinely want to play a fairy army game? Because I do.

>>54250827
But would you want to play as the fairies, or the princesses? That is the question.

>>54250844
I felt like the answer was obviously fairies but there is the obvious problem that trench warfare and mass battles from an individual perspective don't lead to a good game experience. But the princesses are sort of uninvolved in the main plot, I think.

>>54220279
First girl is just so cute

>>54251131
So instead play as alpenfeejager, or urban combat troops, or even trench raiders or infiltration specialists, tank crew, or pilots!

Heck, you could play as a squad of fairies performing their ACTUAL mission of protecting the princess, rather than just playing around in the trenches?

>>54251414
I feel like shooting princesses with cannons is probably against the rules, if only because all of the princesses would be unable to prevent their fairies from mass infantry rushing each other on the dining room table, but they could all agree to issue firm orders about attacking other princesses (especially because a princess who refused to keep her fairies away from other princesses would find herself unprotected by the ban). So princess protecting is probably more of a prank war situation.

>>54220279
Do some aerobics you lazy fat cunts

CMON

hit the gym already!

>>54251571
I never said the fairies protect the princesses from the other fairies/princesses.

>The kings and queens of the nations are well aware of the threat of evil sorcerers, dragons and dark knights kidnapping their precious daughters
>But traditional bodyguards of sufficient power to protect their darling angels would just scare them
>So long ago, a pact was formed with the High Fae. The rise of man and iron threatened to destroy them, so the Fae Queen asked that at least some of her servants be spared
>Fairies became the sworn protectors of the princesses of all kingdoms, acting as their playmates, so as to allow the girls to still live happy, normal lives
>Over time, the High Fae faded into myth, retreating into Tir Na Nog and both the fairies and humans largely forgot their duties
>But a small group in each fairy nation remember. With their tiny lives, these knights protect the princesses night and day
>The wars and games are useful excuses to keep their skills sharp, but should the princess be threatened, those diminutive soldiers, the elite few are her last and best line of defence!

>>54222836
C-c-c-c-yeah baby! Doctor Rockso likes the sound of that

>>54251801
This is a quality excuse for doing the thing I already wanted to do.

>>54227598
Totally jacking this for an RPG. PCs will play from the princesses perspectives.

>>54223894
Add in handsome male tutors for acrobatics, tennis, dancing, and if you can get the equipment even weightlifting (for greater strength in other activities).

>>54228229
>Princess cuts a promo
>Is complimentary to her next opponent, but in a way that implies that other princesses would get more compliments if she brought them up
>Her crew sits around fanning themselves in the background and makes forced neutral expressions

>>54246892
>>54247077
>The princelings come to visit
>"So it's like chess but with more realistic armies?"
>Start corresponding with the fairies in secret offering tactical and strategic advice.

>>54255118
>the fairies mostly ignore this advice because it's less fun

>>54220346
Yes it was. It's because the game was rushed. Tim Schaffer is a hack.

>>54227598
That's actually great. Just wrote it down in my DMing ideas notebook and I'm probably gonna use that plot in some way soon.

>>54255134
To Prince Bartholomew of Lassen,
We, the parliament of Pillowland, accept your kind missive and the gracious offer of strategic advice in the spirit in which it is given, however with all due respect, this matter is a fairy affair and it simply would not do for human involvement to become a factor, much less the frightful effects becoming party to such a conflict may inflict upon the reputation of your royal family. We have full confidence in the bravery of our troops, the strength of our arms and the brilliance of our commanders, as much as we have faith in our righteous cause and our will to persecute this war to its end.

Your implicit support for our cause has been received most kindly by both our queen, and royal patron, Princess Priscilla. Indeed, if we may be so bold, the princess has expressed a personal desire to thank you for the concern shown to her supporters and proposes an informal meeting to such effect on the 12th of August. We shall be delighted to receive you.
Yours sincerely, Her Majesty's Government of Pillowland

>"Think that gets the 'fuck off who invited you' across politely enough?"
>"Indeed. If we wanted to fight this war like humans, we already would be."
>"Seriously. How rude can you get, presuming that gangly brat knows better than our veteran generals and officers?!"
>"Well it all turned out alright in the end. Hopefully the princess and him will hit it off! He certainly seemed besotted by her."
>"Of course! Priscilla is the prettiest, cleverest and most talented princess ever, after all!"
>And so the Great Palace War continues as a fairy affair, while the politicians play matchmaker to pass the time
>Sadly, Priscilla finds Bartholomew to be a frightfully boring boy and bids him a polite but cool farewell after they take high tea together. It probably didn't help that he made some unkind comments about the dogfight overhead, involving her troops lack of tactical acumen.

>>54227598
Which forgotten realms book is that one from again?

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>>54255441
>>Sadly, Priscilla finds Bartholomew to be a frightfully boring boy and bids him a polite but cool farewell after they take high tea together. It probably didn't help that he made some unkind comments about the dogfight overhead, involving her troops lack of tactical acumen.
>be Priscilla fairy
>mfw this is the best possible result, best princess has a monopoly on boys but is so phenomenally fancy and amazing that she is too good for all of them

>>54255699
Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile!
Euphemia is ugly and her tits sag!
Smile girls that's the style!
What's the use of worrying?
It's never worth the while, so
Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile!
>Pillowland marching song in month 3 of the Great Palace War
>After Euphemia was seen sniffling after hearing it while a column marched past in the gardens, the fairies of Pillowland apologised deeply and anxiously, voluntarily agreeing to stop
>"We're sorry; we got a little carried away. There was no call to get so mean about things." - Captain Sparkledance, 47th Cuddles County Infantry

>>54227762
>Wait, so we're not actually going to rape them, right?
>What? No! It's the IMPLICATION.

>>54255934
>original marching song often performed in the absence of officers despite increasingly harsh penalties

Also, I made a discord for discussing any actual game setup. I'll post a summary if anything relevant happens there because I don't want that secret club smell, but I don't think we need eighty posts of email swaps and scheduling arguments here.

https://discord.gg/bTCVP

>>54221719
That picture triggers my PTSD

>>54256306
>GET UP GET UP GET UP UNIFORM OF THE DAY IS AS FOLLOWS: PT SHORTS, PT SHIRT

post your fairy loadouts

>>54256263
>Discord
y tho? We're having fun just posting silly little stories from the Great Palace War, or maybe some peacetime stuff later too.

>>54259572
loadouts like what..?

>>54221565

I'll be the Booty Warrior.

>>54259687
Backpack contents.

>blanket
>mess kit
>fairy dust
>rifle
>bayonet
>bullets
>shovel (enchanted to do all types of physical damage simultaneously)
>diary

>>54234744
The line between preppy and frumpy is razor thin, but that line is super hot.
Like Liz Kaplan in the League.

>>54227210
I said "Sacrifice" not "keep prisoner." They're not running away for shit when they're dead.

>>54225940
I'd heard about the RTS bits. I wanted to buy the game before I learned about them. Are they worth suffering through or not?

>>54223049
I swear to God I once had a goose feather in my backpack get animated by a necromancer.

Harmless, but annoying. The horde of other zombies was a bit of an issue, though.

>>54223049
>bug

I legitimately want to see a Fairy War anime now.

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>>54260809
>anime

>>54259687
>y tho
Well it's also for Princess American Gladiators Xcom and Princess Forest Base Builder. /tg/'s cute threads always hit the bump limit and make four or five total threads and I figure at least one game should result.

>>54220279
>kidnap them
>leave them in a jail cell with an easily unlocked door
>only guard is the slowest goblin
>jail cell at one end of the hallway, exit at the end
>in the middle: obstacle course
>no consequences for attempted escape

There.

>>54234744
>tfw no qt lazy, comfy librarian-ish gee-eff to read books and cudlle with
Please release me from the horror that is life

>>54259912
Oh wow, that would depend very much on the branch of the service, wouldn't it? An infantrygirl's kit is going to be very different to a paratrooper's, or a tanker's, after all.

>>54261534
Let's face it mate... /tg/ doesn't Get Shit Done anymore.

>>54265093
Well, yeah, thus "your." If they were all the same we could only post one objectively correct list.

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>>54265093
/tg/ getting shit done was generally one person sperging the fuck out and writing a billion pages and then editing those billion pages a billion times after ten people made a thread full of "what if a cactus was a wizard" "what if the cactus had a hat" "'hello i am mr cactus wizard this is my hat.'" Basically /tg/ produced seven or eight good screenshots in its first five years of existence.

Also, this is hardly getting shit done. Low standards.

>>54227598
This is great

>>54228229
>capture the flag
>goal is to have more members of the opposing team in your own starting zone when time is up

>>54268962
Though I'll discuss imaginary rules if it saves the thread.

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>>54220279

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>>54260302
the RTS function is clunky and not very good. it's also really fucking easy right up until the last 2 RTS fights which are FUCKING NIGGARDLY BULLSHIT frustrating.

Really, they should've just made it a hacknslash or brawler.

>>54244705
He was given around a hundred or so concubines and was told to make them competent marchers. When they didn't listen to him, he had half of them executed. Then the rest listened. Crazy bastard.

You know, if fairies respawn, there'd be a lot of incentive to capture fairies alive (because they stay captured unless rescued, but they don't stay dead). If respawn times are significant, there'd be a reason to run away when defeated, too.

>>54275570
>fairy warfare begins to capture enemies on an enormous scale
>captured fairies are sent to enormous labour camps because prisons are flooded
>fairies are indoctrinated into fighting for the side that captured them
>fairies would now rather die than be captured, and ferocious and suicidal tactics develop

>>54275860
I think they'd already rather die than be captured, but it'd be more of a "fuck it, affix bayonets" kinda thing. Better to die in service of the princess than die like a little bitch. It's not like entire armies get captured in real life. Also, if fairy armies surrender when it they can no longer fight, the negotiations of terms and formal signing scenes and stuff are probably great. And I think fairies would probably let captured fairies go when the war is over (because you need someone to fight in order to have a second war, plus being on the front lines is more exciting than guarding the prison).

>just accidentally made fairy klingons

>>54255699
what about the beloved older brother who has a really soft spot for his baby sister but is an absolute hardass to everyone else?

>>54275570
I'd think they'd have to hang around their little graveyard or church being all spooky for a while, before they pop back into corporeality, otherwise the wars stop resembling anything we can reasonably consider and the concept of making gains becomes meaningless as both sides can constantly funnel fresh troops into a conflict, rather than having to preserve numbers and wait for their veterans to return.

>>54275860
>>54275941
Given they are still fairies, it's probably halfway between serious realism and just a game where everyone follows the rules. After all, being captured and sent to a PoW camp is a nice little vacation from having bullets shot at you (which still hurt!) and 'daring escapes against a cunning prison warden like a game of cat-and-mouse' is also a fun part of warfare for them to play at!

In other news, I think we can all agree that the fairy kingdoms (and presumably the human ones they inhabit) are at a technological and industrial level roughly equivalent to 1910-1926? Some armoured vehicles, aircraft and such, but no assault rifles and the like.

What would peacetime be like? Presumably fairy society has a high emphasis on the arts and luxury goods, in addition to their industries (fairy dust makes a great and clean alternative to coal as well, when it's compressed into briquettes).

>>54276021
Official position is that Prince Heinrich is cool and a good boy who loves his sister. As a result, he gets a bit more respect and consideration than the visiting idiots. He is still a) a boy and b) a human however, so if he tries to interfere too much, the fairies will still tell him where to go and he can expect small pranks to be played on him for the next week.

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>>54276021
>not a princess, so not competition with the best princess
>either blood relative or no fucks given status to all princesses, so not an object to be captured/denied
He ok.

>>54276150
WWI times means limited SMGs/semi-auto, though not a ton. I assume this was for cost effectiveness reasons? Better to have ten dudermans with bolt action rifles than one duderman with a tommygun. Some anachronisms may be in order because I think by that point army uniforms were more about function and camoflage than BRIGHT COLORS FUNNY HATS GO.

And yeah respawn times have to be significant. Enough to be an inconvenience, definitely. Of course it's hard to figure out the best time to set it at without knowing more about the effect on the players, as well as how fast fairies can travel and what scale they have to travel on (both of which are completely bulshittable).

>Given they are still fairies, it's probably halfway between serious realism and just a game where everyone follows the rules.
Yeah this is the number one thing to consider condensed into one sentence.

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>>54276299
Nothing wrong with tiny fairies in trench colours! Likewise however, it took the French a little while to figure out that it wasn't the 1810s anymore at the start of the war. They soon moved to skyline camouflage of light blue uniforms, but even that wasn't ideal. But hey, there's nothing stopping the fairies from having battle uniforms and dress uniforms! Just remember, it's not a dress; it's a combat skirt.

And yeah, machine-pistols were available in limited numbers, but doctrine, the untested nature of the technology and just the economic viability kept them from being deployed large-scale. According to Wikipedia, only Germany, Austria-Hungary and Italy ever used them as a general-issue weapon and only the USA used shotguns (European nations considering them an 'ungentlemanly' weapon and executing enemy soldiers captured using them).

Travel is either by horse (not really plausible for fairies roughly 5 inches high); early trucks; by foot; or for all large-scale movements, by TRAIN. Besides, can you imagine how cute a tiny conductor would be, waving her flag and blowing a shrill little whistle while the model-sized train pulls out of the station?

>>54227598
>We almost died! Many times!
>But you were never in any danger at all, my sweet!
>W-wha?
>I arranged everything. The bandits, the skeletons, all of it.
>....
>It was all a trick to get you off your lazy behinds and to lead a more active lifestyle
>B-but mom, that doesn't-
>Nonsense! It worked, didn't it? You're all as hearty and active as nomad huntresses now! You probably don't even remember the comforts of your upbringing!
>[sound of knives unsheathing]
>W-wait, girls, what are you-
>[fade to black, stabbing noises accompanied by the queen screaming]

>>54276642
I think dress uniform as battle uniform is now my headcanon at least.

For travel, I think it's relevant that fairies usually have wings. They probably shouldn't here.

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>>54276924
No wings to see here! Besides, if they had those, what'd be the point of them buzzing around in little model aeroplanes and having dogfights over the rose bushes?

And I think headcanon is the only canon around here. It's not like this is a formal setting; we all have our own ideas of what the fairy nations and their people are like.

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>>54277046
If they don't have wings then in some people's minds they stop being fairies and start being weird little fucks.

Also, makes it hard for them to do urban combat on the dining room table after tea if they have to show up by plane (which I'm imagining working a very serious game with a few important ground rules, like "no deploying from anywhere except your own table edge.")

>>54273550
>Really, they should've just made it a hacknslash or brawler.
That's exactly what I thought it was, which was why I was interested in it. As soon as I heard about the RTS sections, my interest immediately dropped. EA made a smart move not advertising any of it, and I can definitely see why Activision dropped it, especially if everything Kotick said about Schafer was true. And it certainly looks like it is.

>>54276924
>>54277257
Maybe they have wings, but need pixie dust to fly? And since pixie dust is heavy, they can only carry so much

Infantry get a little, so they can get onto a table or dresser in a hurry, but using it outside of traversing terrain is wasteful. Paratroopers use it to slow their decent. Those model planes run off of the stuff, and it's easier to fly a plane full of faries than it is to make each of those faeries fly on their own.

>>54223329
nice show

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>>54277446
This satisfies my autism. In fact I don't really see fairies as flying, just having ownership of decorative wings.

>>54277257
>Urban combat
Well there was already mention of the Siege of Pixiestadt earlier... I think they pretty much have their own tiny towns and cities scattered around the palace grounds.

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>>54278086
That was a good idea. I like completely arbitrary battlefields too because fairies aren't actually fighting over anything, just as a form of sports for the glory of [the correct princess] and plus hiding behind an overturned teacup while a tiny tank drives over a plate is fun imagery. I think there's space for two armies of fairies to go "We're enemies now, let's have a battle over here on the count of three" with the option to go "Ok let's actually try to knock over their supply lines and factories and stuff" for a bigger scale conflict.

>>54220279
I tell the queen, loud enough for the daughters to hear, like the other side of a door" She is just plumping up herself to attract a mate."

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>>54278279

>>54220279

Go Sam Vimes on 'em.

>>54276924
I think they have wings but its against the rules to use them.
>>54277655
Now that I think about it whenever, I imagine faries or fae or whatever, I usually picture them with wings but they don't use them, they fly by magic not by flapping.

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>>54280226
Pic is probably the source of that belief.

I think making stuff against the rules would be hard unless it was clearly defined and easy to avoid. You can ban attacking princesses because princesses are big and hard to attack. It's harder to say "Hey flying creature with barely any attention span, don't fly." One of them would fuck up, and then there'd be a chorus of "Well SHE did it"s from all directions.

>>54280466
Hence why I always think of them without wings. Unless they've graduated jump school.

Plus, I don't know why, but the wings kind of spoil the image I have of them... By turns sweet-mannered playmates perfectly suited to be the cute, inoffensive companions of a princess; and at other times, cursing, hardcore little shits fully ready to beat in a machine gunner's head with the business end of an feldspaten...
>There was a quiet *pung!* from the planer nearby.
>"How do you like that, you cheesy bastard?! Making it take seven goddamn hours to take like, two feet of trench-! Maybe I'll get myself one of those broken-ass pieces of shit and see how you like it next time, fuckgirl!"
>"Uhm- Yellowrose, maybe you should calm down?"
>"YOU calm down! I've had mud soaking into my panties for an hour and a half and she shot my second-favourite hat!"
>"No, I mean the princesses are right over there and can hear you!"
>"Urk-!"

>>54227598
This is fucking beautiful. Goddamn it would be so fun to play as either side.

>>54220279
Arrange a labyrinth woodland and have them larp some survival.
Then have the guys from the party fuck them real good and take them out to the real woods since there only needs to be one heir in the kingdom anyway.

>>54242452
>democracy
>caring
Go fuck yourself, communist.

>>54281299
Yeah princesses passing through and paying partial or full attention to the action is going to motivate some fairies quite a bit.

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>>54281450
God dammit, why has it always gotta be rape? I am at least reasonably sure the queen would be horrified by your antics.
>>54284834
I- What? What are you trying to say here? If I were a communist, why would I be calling a democratic system caring?

>>54285290
It'd take an odd kind of princess to be really interested. Most would probably be okay with it in the abstract (the fairies seem to be having fun and it's quite flattering having them fight for your 'honour') but actually seeing their little friends burned to ashes by a flamethrower, washing up waterlogged on the shores of the pond, blown to pieces by artillery, gutted by a bayonet, cut down by gunfire, or just quietly bleeding out in a corner would probably be horrifying for them, even if magical fairy bullshit makes it look less horrific than with humans.

Likewise, the fairies would probably try and insulate their royal patron from the foul language and violence that typically comes with soldiers in the field...
Then again, there'd always be that one princess who gets all starry-eyed the first time she hears her little friends have a military and immediately starts dressing like an officer, studying Clausewitz, Tacitus, Sun Tzu and the like and honestly spooking her fairies by how much she wants to act like a real commander.

>>54285574
>but actually seeing their little friends burned to ashes by a flamethrower, washing up waterlogged on the shores of the pond, blown to pieces by artillery, gutted by a bayonet, cut down by gunfire, or just quietly bleeding out in a corner would probably be horrifying for them, even if magical fairy bullshit makes it look less horrific than with humans.

See, I always figured that fairies run on "this feels true so it is" and "this is a good story so therefore it is what happens." So the fairy war experience is more like the dumbest possible romanticized version of war as imagined by a 1910s patriotic songwriter (see: dress uniform as battle uniform, actual enthusiasm for fighting after having been on the front lines for more than a day), with minor concessions to practicality because the fairies want to win so they aren't going to be doing cavalry charges once they realize guns shoot fast now. Plus I figure that fairies don't really have HP or coherent anatomy, and in terms of injuries they are either 1: fine 2: fine but with a torn uniform and a trickle of blood coming out of their mouth or scratch marks on their arm or something or 3: completely dead and instantly disintegrated into component magical particles.

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>>54220279
operation high voltage princess is go

>>54276150
>Prince Heinrich is cool and a good boy who loves his sister
Prince Heinrich is actually a decorated military commander because he grew up being slightly miffed that the fairies wouldn't let him play with them, not realizing that this is as deathly serious to them as it is great fun.

>>54220346
what game is it?

>>54242519
Yes. Yes it is.

>>54220318
Is that where they'll learn to do burlesque?

>>54222930
Well fuck the queen's reward, then, we've got a prosperous career as necromantic furriers ahead of us!

>Party are trying to build a colony funded by what is basically Merrie Olde Englande as a state
>J. Bull Esq. finds that he has been ordered by her Imperial Majesty to teach the Imperial princesses how the lower classes live (dukes, baronets, those middling sort)
>Awkwardly forces a bunch of unwilling princesses to dig trenches and gather lumber, as well as hunting and fishing
>They end up with a more indepth perception of lives beyond the palace and gain some useful survival skills

All in all, very nice.

>>54287836
Brutal Legend.

Jack Black as a roadie who dies and goes to a land of metal, to face off against glam, industrial, and black metal.

>>54287836
Brutal Legend. It's a fun game but swings alot between stupidly easy and stupidly hard. And the hard bits are mostly because of the terrible controls.

>>54237386
>normal
>skull polish
>magnetic bones
>breakdancing
>museum
>professor dracula
Behold, the Lord of the Dance!

>>54286528
"Cute WWI" is a criminally underused aesthetic/setting.

>>54285574
Actually I'm rereading this and it's making me realize some key points.

First, the original joke post setting the whole thing off was a bit about pre WWI alliances and the assasination of archduke Ferdinand. But that kind of implies that fairy groups often work together and that sometimes they aren't fighting.

Second, princesses are unlikely to have a six month long tea party. So, any relationship, positive or negative, between two fairy groups, is probably ending (or at least going on hold) after a day at most. If you imagine Priscilla+entourage having her friend Elizabeth+entourage over for afternoon tea on Monday, then having brunch at Ophelia's estate with Elizabeth and Beatrice also present, with the usual breaks for sleeping and stuff, you get the general idea.

I dismissed peacetime details as boring because they make for less of a good game but there's probably some good stuff there now that I think about it.

>>54290433
You're not accounting for the fact the princesses might be siblings, or from allied nations such that long stays with other royal families, for the sake of furthering relations, aren't uncommon. Likewise, they could be political hostages, or not 'true' princesses, but highly-placed nobility within the kingdom.

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>>54237386
Better with the expansion pack

>>54289987
It's really not because it doesn't make any sense and it's hard to smooth over actual human suffering for the audience. I like this thread but it's easy to see why nothing similar has been published.

>>54290534
This is true. There would still be a lot of temporary encounters between fairy groups, though.

>"Shimmersplash, I... what was it that you wanted to be called again?"
>"Double Admiral Triple General Shimmersplash, your highness!"
>"I... will endeavor to remember. Now, about the dreadful racket outside."
>"The girls are really letting them have it, your highness! We'll be in the azaleas by Tuesday!"
>"I'm sure you're quite capable. But... Jocelyn is quite a lovely woman, and I'm sure her fairies are quite nice if you get to know them. You must have a lot in common. You might discuss the little horseless carriages that all of you seem to like so much?"
>"I will give the order to withdraw if you wish, your highness. I know the girls want to keep you happy, even if it means missing the big attack we have planned."
>"Well, finish by sundown. And find Petalpuff before I go to bed, I find her voice incredibly soothing."

>>54292688
>"Your highness! Your highness!"
>"What is it, Double Admiral Triple General Shimmersplash?"
>"It's Triple Admiral Double General now, your highness. I got a demotion and then a different promotion later."
>"Well, what is it? I've thrown about ten drafts of this letter away and it couldn't hurt to leave it alone for a few minutes."
>"We got you a present, your highness!"
>"Oh? Let me see. No, I still can't quite tell what it is."
>"Annabelle's fairies had built a fort by the fireplace and we could hear them saying mean stuff about you inside! All of the girls were really mad. And... some stuff happened that you don't wanna hear about and now the fort isn't there anymore."
>"I did hear a loud noise a few minutes ago."
>"We've already put the fires out and put the floorboards back together, mostly. Anyway, that's their battle standard! Annabelle's fairies really dug in, but whenever things got tough we all thought about how we were fighting for the prettiest princess' honor and felt a lot better. So we wanted you to have it, your highness."
>"You're very... kind."
>princess puts the trophy in the drawer with the others

>>54288956
>terrible controls
Amen to that

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Just remembered that I have some inexplicably related images.

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Hope that helps.

>>54277298
I know Tim Schafer's type. He's one of those genuinely creative and talented guys who are also very lazy and can't stick with one idea for long enough to realise its full potential.

>>54220279
Three words:
Cocaine Smoke Bomb

>>54291553
It's the idea of really leaning into the silliness of wargaming that I like. I imagine it would only work in a medium that could convey the mismatch between the characters' perceptions (we are serious fairies and this is serious war) and reality (they are grognards and this is a game). Tabletop RPG isn't the one, but I can see a Persona-style interlacing of strategy game and frothy social simulator, where between battles the characters think they're acting like generals but are actually being goofy and cute.

I might just have too high a tolerance for fluff and lack of consequences in my entertainment, though.

tell them chris chan is going to sleep with them

>>54299070
>what are guards

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>>54237386

>>54223894
This is the most real answer.

>>54298217
I mean you could rely pretty heavily on manifestations of fairies' beliefs being true because they believe them. Being a soldier is mostly sitting around? Nah. FIGHT ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME.

>>54224626
I know I'm 5 days late, but the thread's still up.
Check hgg on twicechan for era games.

>>54220279
Kill 1 and 5
Marry 2
Fuck 3 and 4

>>54255699

Now stop trying to turn inside the arc of a trailing biplane, you dandelion fluff for brains dipshit.

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>>54302268
fite me irl sis i got 1.02 k/d

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Actually here's another one.

I've been GISing around and this is the image that comes closest to feeling correct as fairy uniform material.

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>>54306359

>>54248688
>No I would not sacrifice victory
>This is not a battle
>Winning is fucking the hottest concubines

More surprised he survived that shit.

so did the first fighting battle hookers division ever see actual combat

>>54293821
I love wonderful stuff like this. Got anymore?

>>54309858
I wrote all of that on the spot, actually. So there isn't any more lying around.

>>54255508
The Knights of Myth Drannor, Book 1 - Swords of Eveningstar.

>http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Swords_of_Eveningstar

Princess falling love with a peasant is a cliche I can not get enough of.

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>>54227598
>The story has two perspectives: the party and the princess group.
>Back and forth between what each side is doing
>The party manages to get a DRAGON to go along with the plan to get the princess into shape.

And so much more.

>>54306520

Unlikely greentext goes back way, way farther than you'd think.

>>54310816
examples plz

>>54224358
there is Princess Maker series

>>54316013
Yeah, but that doesn't involve the XCom element; at BEST there's some light Dragon Quest parts to it.

>>54310221
Well then it's obvious what you've gotta do now, isn't it Anon?

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>>54293821
>"Tally bandit! Six o'clock high!"
>"Dash it all, where did she come from?!"
>"Relax Rosedew, I've got visual. Coming in on your eight. Throw a rolling scissors; I'll catch her on the second pass."
>Rosedew threw her tiny biplane into a turn, rolling and pulling back, beads of sweat clouding her vision as she put her trust in her squadron leader. She daren't take her hands off the stick to wipe her forehead, as the enemy aircraft cut past her, guns blazing.
>Holes peppered her airframe, but the elevators and wings were still fine. Silently praying her commanding officer got there in time, she threw her plane into another turn, looking up to see her opponent doing the same. She'd have her aim in this time, so if help didn't arrive, Rosedew was done for-!
>The planes banked, turned. The air filled with the staccato beat of twin machine guns..! And Rosedew opened her eyes to see the enemy plane pitching groundward and trailing smoke, while her squadron lead fell in beside her.
>"Sorry to keep you waiting," Sunshower called over the radio, giving her junior a friendly wave. "That last one from the furball was a persistent blighter!"
>Ever since their home, the independent city of Smilegarden had fallen in the second week of the war, the girls had been exiles, continuing to fight the war from within the Teatime Republic, taking ranks in its airforce as part of Smilegarden Wing.
>Sunshower had quickly earned herself a reputation as a cunning and uncommonly skilled ace, once gunning down an entire flight single-handed. Indeed, the only better on the terrace front was-

>>54318125
>Rosedew's eyes widened as she saw the sleek grey shape of a Daisy Federation monoplane flitting behind the chimneypots of the kitchen wing. She grabbed for the radio in a panic.
>"Sunshower! On your four! It's-!"
>She didn't get any further. Zipping high and coming in at a steep angle, right out of the sun, the swept-wing fighter was like a diving falcon. A swift burst from its guns and Rosedew's fighter erupted in a fireball, blowing itself to pieces and leaving a shocked-looking ghost drifting in place behind it
>"ROSE!" Sunshower yelled, immediately going evasive. Her head whipped back and forth as she looked for the vanished attacker.
>The boom-and-zoom attacks; that damned experimental turboprop plane; appearing out of no-where and vanishing just as fast, there was no doubt who had caught them.
>"The Grey Phantom," she growled, knuckles turning white under her flight gloves. "I wondered when we'd finally get to dance."
>Her biplane had a much shorter turn than that monster of an energy fighter. If she could just force her into a dogfight, victory was a good as hers. She just had to keep an eye out above her for the attack-
>Sunny's airframe juddered and her eyes widened as she suddenly lost all control, one of her wings peeling away.
>"From... Below?!" she gasped.
>She looked to one side, guided by instinct as her enemy shot up beside her. Blonde curls peeked from below a coal-black pilot's helmet.
>For a moment, time slowed as the two foes locked eyes, before the Grey Phantom looked away, disregarding Sunny as just another squashed bug

>>54318141
>With her control gone and her plane going into a tailspin, Sunny had little choice but to unbuckle and bail out, ditching her beloved plane into no-man's land in the flowerbeds
>As she pulled her chute, she cursed her opponent's cunning. A high-speed fighter like that would typically attack from up high, adding the fall to its engine power for a high-speed slash-and-dash
>Instead, the Phantom had counted on that expectation, using her superior horsepower to climb from below without fear of stalling; an unorthodox and devastatingly effective stroke

>As she hit solid ground, Sunny rolled, her chute covering her and forcing her to crawl her way out
>Emerging into the daylight again, she shook her fist at the uncaring sky
>"Curse you, Phantom! I swear, next time you won't be nearly so lucky, you hear me? Your goose is cooked, or my name isn't Sunshower Sparkles!"
>The soft clink of a teaspoon being set on a saucer suddenly brought the Squadron Leader to attention and made her slowly turn her head.
>Looking down at the tiny figure in a flight jacket and goggles, were five inquisitive faces, each wearing tiaras and enjoying teatime together. A teatime Sunny had just parachuted right into the middle of.
>"Erk-! Y-your highnesses-!" she stammered, trying to think of an explaination
>"Having a spot of bother up above?" asked her royal highness, Princess Elizabeth
>"Fufufu, you'll have to get up much earlier than that to beat my Grey Phantom," Princess Grace chuckled, covering her mouth as the gaudy but meaningless medals on her chest glinted, her cavalry uniform a stark contrast to her friends' elegant dresses

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>>54318162
>"I- Er- I-I..." Sunny stammered, but Princess Toshi held up a hand and delicately cut a small slice of butterfly cake, passing it to the pilot
>"Why don't you take a while before the recovery crews pick you up?" she asked, with a heavy Jomon accent. "I am sure you have wonderful stories to share with us!"

>The Republic Army Air Corp's recovery team picked up Sunny a little later, butter frosting on her lips and the princesses tittering at some of the more family-friendly stories of the Smilegarden Wing's antics in the air and around the barracks
>The story of the time the squadron had tied the sleeping air commodore to the back of a corgi and dangled a dog treat in front of its nose by a fishing poke had two of the girls positively crying with laughter

>>54220279
I introduce them to an exciting new hot beverage from the distant shores of Arabia!

>>54315663
It's rare to see, but a good one is Donnel and Maribelle supports from Fire Emblem Awakening.

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>>54234829

I chuckled more than I should have

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>>54316013
>>54317357
We're definitely imagining something that will never exist due to being the most niche thing possible.

>>54317357
Maybe at some point.

>>54323482
I guess it's up to the rest of us to keep the thread alive or make a new one then. We greentext farming now, boys.

>>54325819
We're like ten posts away from the bump limit, the thread is poorly labeled, and /tg/ goes fucking nuts for cute shit (really I think we could do with a cute thread encompassing princess sports manager, fairy cutebright wwi, and whatever else is happening).

I'm sort of idly browsing traditional soldier's marching songs, also, if that helps.

>>54290433
>>54290534
Peace treaties or terms of surrender are just the faeries making their own pomp and circumstance when the visiting princess finally has to leave and everyone is saying their goodbyes. Battles between siblings end up being 100 year wars (or at least it feels like it to the faries) where there are only cease-fires called for when the princesses have school work to do.

Individual princesses vary from distant and ineffective figureheads of their fairies government to commanders in chief holding strategy meetings with their generals.

The fairies in general follow the rules of narrative above all else, but the "rules of engagement" laid out by the princesses are generally followed, violations giving their opponents the upper hand thanks to the propaganda boost of fighting "evil, despicable, and savage" foes

>>54329486
I think fairies follow the rules because if they don't their princess will actually give the order to pack their shit up, which is literally a fate worse than death.

Also update on >>54326514
apparently there aren't many olden timey war songs that copy change well to be about fairies. Who knew.

>>54330499
Well that just makes it even more despicable right? If it got that bad, why defeating such a foe would be an existential threat! And thus have a subsequent Independence Day-esq reaction to it. Plus it would tarnish the name of their princess to boot

I could see this as a kinda miniatures game intended to be played using "natural" terrain, that is whatever random chunk of your house/ yard you feel like. Squad level probably? Named units and maybe even unit advancement? A rolling campaign would obviously be required, maybe some way of modifying the objectives based on simulations of the princesses moods?

... I should probably join the discord huh?

>>54331874
>I could see this as a kinda miniatures game intended to be played using "natural" terrain, that is whatever random chunk of your house/ yard you feel like.
Someone actually already made this and it's Fairy Meat, though you can guess by the title it's more grimdark.

>"So it's settled, then. We all agree to officially state, per terms of the surrender, that Princess Gwyneth's servants put her dress on upside down half the time because they can't tell the difference between her face and her butt."
>Sniffle.
>"You know that if the negotiations break down, the conflict will resume?"
>Sniffle.
>"You're such a baby!"
>Sniffle.
>"Fine. Just give us three barrel's of pixie dust and we'll leave, but we're gonna brag about this forever and make a holiday about the time we beat you up."
>later, Blueblossom was awarded the Gwyneth Triple Star for excellenece in the field of negotiation

>>54256306
Hearing Reveille is all it fucking takes, more so than ground attack or IDF claxons.

I'm pretty sure that we've had a similar discussion before and that the conclusion was that fairies with guns functionally become orks.

>"What are you going to do when the war's over?"
>"Probably take a nap and then wait with you for the next one."
>"Yeah, same here."

>>54340208
>"Well, I left the prettiest girl behind, Her Highness aside. We swore to be married when I returned. I think about her every minute, but all I have to remember her by is..."
>"No, I'm here too. We're all girls and we all enlisted."
>"Oh, right, one nap for me too then."

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>>54229982
>ywn be chained to a tree as some she-barbarian's rapemeat
welp

>>54220279
Give them a commission into the Imperial Guard or just have a drill abbot whip them up into shape. As a Rogue Trader and a servant of the immortal God Emperor of Mankind, I have better things to do than baby sit a few nobles.

>>54220279
>Place deadly spikes in the room
If they want to get some food they have to jump past all of the spikes

>>54341881
>a princess trips

>>54341881
>servants, bring me food

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Campaigns_and_theatres_of_World_War_I

For things that aren't trenches.

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>>54312347
Fuck that, there's 5-6 players.

3-4 of them are told it's a high-society game of intrigue or it's a murder mystery or something. They make lvl 4 nobles or something. The first session ends with them ostensibly failing the intrigue or finding out that THEY are the murder targets and they get dumped in the woods.

The other two players are the lvl 5-6 ranger and necromancer who are "in on it" and have to occasionally sneak off to "prepare their spells for the day" / "rig up the next obstacle" for the bitches to over come.

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>>54290701
> not having the double expansion pack
fucking dork

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>>54345128
6 is a big group and this group is probably extra difficult already due to the sneaking but aside from that 10/10.

>>54248728
>Not wanting a harem of elite soldiers

>>54221534
You want animate object anon.

Nothing like a pelt that violently snuggles you to death

>>54345816
The dorf fort version of this was extra lethal because you couldn't kill it (no blood, brain, or weak points of any sort) but it could kill you.

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>>54345785

>>54345166
I'm really impressed by the amount of dedication (and I feel like this is just one person making all of these and posting them in the thread for the first time).

>>54347539
New thread for fairies and princesses and stuff.