me: "I try to lift up the cart" dm: "roll a d20"

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>>54183699
>Game of StarVentures
>5 stormtrooper get into our bunker, half our group is down
>Only a 1 hp wookie, 3 hp red twilek and 1 hp green twilek alive
>Red Twilek shoot on 1 trooper, roll 1, kill our green twilek
>Wookie only have 5 shots left on energy cell, fire split shot in his crossbow (Think Jedi : Outcast or Jedi : Academy)
>Rolls 20
>5 headshot

pic unrelated but same system

>I roll remain hidden
>20
>you hide so well YOU don't know where you are anymore

>>54183699
Both time my ranger shot at a mounted enemy leader. Once he knocked a hobgoblin off his warg while it was running away at damn near his bow's max range. It lead to my dirty Frenchmen ranger dancing and singing about himself.

op : " i want to be a faggot"
m00t : "k roll d20"
op : *rolls a d20*
*its a fricking 20*
entire 4chan : HOLY SHIT
m00t : " YOU ARE THE ALPHA FAGGOT"

>>54184205
Who is m00t?

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me: "I want to climb up to that window on the 2nd floor"
do: "okay, roll a d20"
>me: "rolls d20"
*its a frickin natural 20"
entire group: HOLY SHIT
DM: "YOU LITERALLY WALK UP THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING LIKE YOU HAVE GRAVBOOTS ON"

>Be me, Du'Ma, the elven Bard, riding his trusty Dragonborn barbarian's shoulders into battle.
>Come up to a group of bandits and assassins, lowly scum of the streets
>Kill all of them but the leaders, our warlock binds up one of them with eldritch tentacles and forces her to watch as we kill her brother
>Take out my twin-whip and lasso it around the girl's neck. Scream "SUBMIT"
>Natural 20 Intimidation check
>Don't let her out of prickly spooky tentacles, attempt to convince her to join the ranks of our grand adventure
>A second natural 20 on persuasion check
And that's how I got my third companion in three sessions.

Fuck me with a rusty spoon this session has made me realise i'm actually a sucker for 'lolsorandom' humour.

me: "I go to the bar and play cards for a few hours in my downtime"
dm: "roll a d20"
me: *rolls d20*
*it's a frickin natural 20"
entire group: HOLY SHIT
DM: "YOU GET BANNED FOR SUSPECTED CHEATING"

>>54183699
me: "I swing my greataxe"
dm: "roll d20"
me: "I know how to play the game, asshat" *rolls d20*
*nat 20*
dm: "you shove the entire axe in his ass"
me: "thanks for catering to my fetish dm"

>Guys trying to get across a gap in a bridge.
>Paladin makes the jump across
>Rouge declares he's throwing his rope across, Paladin will catch
> Rogue rolls nat 1, Paladin rolls nat 20
>"You expertly catch the rope...the rope in its entirety

>>54186587
That's actually pretty good.

>>54186587
Did paladin throw it back across?

>>54184292
Roll a knowledge check

>>54186661
*rolls a d20*
*it's a frickin natural 20*

>>54186683

You are m00t

>>54186683
You are m00t

>>54186705
>>54186702

Hivemind

>>54186702
>>54186705
>m00tmind

>>54186702
>>54186705
is this what happens when you roll a nat20 to 4chan post?

>me: "I want to play dnd"
>dm: roll a d20
>me: *rolls 20* "HOLY SHIT NAT 20!!"
>DM: "get out."

>>54186644
They were getting chased by a horde of goblins, so everybody said fuck it and rolled for the jump across. Only the sorcerer failed the jump and fell into the moat, paladin used the rope to help pull him back up.

>>54183699
What the fuck happening to this niqqa's shoulders

>>54183699
>Just started campain
>exploring area, come across mithril animated armour
>clearly not meant to kill it normally
>attempt to steal it's sword, right out it's hand
>"Roll for it."
>paladin gets an enchanted mithril longsword

>>54183787
Did MahyarS posted a rulebook of Starventures ?

>co-DMing DnD 4e
>instigator tiefling rogue pulls all levers in a room with big sign saying "DO NOT PULL LEVERS"
>sets free horde of vicious monsters on their home city
>big ass griffon hangs back to kill group
>dragonborn Clerxes the Cleric decides to fucking wrestle it
> gets picked up by griffon and flown away
>Clerxes: "I pin it's wings"
>me: "dude don't"
>Clerxes: "I pin it's wings"
>natural 20, they plummet to the ground
>Clerxes: "at the last moment I let go, kick off the griffon's body, and hop down unscathed"
>me: "fuck you"
>nat20
>me: "seriously dude fuck you"
>Clerxes: shit-eating grin
>I establish that all dragonborn have two buttholes and for the rest of the campaign everyone is trying to fuck him in both of them

>>54187441
probably bait but that's not how falling works

>>Playing CoS in Castle Ravenloft (literally last night)
Climbing a staircase
See an interesting object just floating there
Party (all newbs) decide to shoot it
(My 3rd time through Barovia...) I (the rogue)climb the stairs to find a choke point
The monk decides to leap out on the thing and punch it to pieces
Vampire thralls climb the walls to come after him... his answer drop to the bottom of the stairwell ...
60 ft in the opposite direction from all of us.
Vampires -of course- give chase to the monk.
>> I would like to leap down and stab the closest vampire with both hands
DM: That's at least 45ft down...
>> I'm willing to take that risk , it is ten against one, what's a bit of fall damage?
DM: Well... roll for Acrobatics
>> Thats a nat 20!
DM: Wow! Roll for your attack...
Monk: I think you should get advantage because that was awesome!
DM: I agree, roll with Advantage.
>> ummmm... wow (free sneak attack)
DM: yes?
>> ...that's a Nat 20 ... and for the off hand ... 18 , both plus ni-
DM: well roll for damage
Monk: How many die is that?
>> 3d8+8d6....plus-
DM:Holy crap!
>> plus ten... totals fifty-
DM:yeah, he dead.
>> five.... it was fifty five. Thanks for the advantage.

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