How does this diagram look? Let's assume that all titled

>How does this diagram look?
Unprofessional. I realize it's just a draft but visual presentation you give to the idea has about as much effect on reception as the quality of the idea itself.

>>54041242

The various clusters could use being physically separated from on another more, and some colour coding doesn't hurt either.

>>54041269
how does one make a diagram more visually appealing?

>>54041533
the principles of Graphic Design and art in general

>>54041550
Point taken. will work on making it pretty for next time. anything else besides the presentation?

>>54041879

Why so many? That's a huge amount of attention to spend on character creation

>>54041242

A key would be good. What's the difference between the square (start point?), the diamonds, the ovals, the hexagons, etc. etc., what do the colored shapes mean, what does the colored line mean, how do you get to disconnected things like Bard and Beast Master.

I'm also really skeptical of how much you actually need all these sub-sub-sub-classes, especially since so much of it doesn't even loop onto itself. A lot of these classes split into three sub-classes and each of those three sub-classes is accessible only from a single parent job, which means you'll have a much cleaner and easier to navigate diagram *and* character advancement system if you fold all of those back into their parent job. This also means you aren't nailing yourself to trying to make "Barbarian" and "Berserker" different enough from one another to justify forcing players to pick one but not both.

Also, how many classes can one party of six cover in the space of a single campaign? If the expectation is that everyone will settle on one and only one top tier class (i.e. Sharp Shooter, Trap Master, Corsair, other things that have arrows pointing into them but none pointing out) then it'll require, what, a half-dozen campaigns before a party who all resolve to always play at least a slightly different class progression before they've seen everything? That's not a good thing. It's very unlikely that one group will play your system through six campaigns, and instead of making three dozen sloppy classes, you could've been making one dozen really good ones.

>>54041968
I think character creation is one of the most important things in an RPG and deserves the attention.
>>54042012
These are all less "sub-classes" and more job advancements. They're meant to show the narrowing--down and specialization and expertise that someone might have.

i.e if you're an adventurer that's the most basic "physical fighter" class. Rogues are for people who want the standard thief/speed playstyle, scouts are for ranged weapons and warriors are for the frontline fighter style.

Then if you picked Rogue, you can do a little bit of all of the next job advancements, but Duelists are for people who want to be more of a front-line fighter, assassins are for stealth, and thieves are for stealing. Which is what I thought was the next logical step in specialization for a rogue -type character.

>>54042365
>These are all less "sub-classes" and more job advancements.

Do they branch off from a main class with no overlap with other main classes? Can you have more than one of them? If your answers were "yes" and "no" then it's a sub-class and has all the problems that having 30+ classes will bring. A single group will play one, maybe two campaigns with this system. If, in that time, each of them will end up seeing one sub-class come online, then what you have done is split your effort between thirty+ options when they will only ever see 6-12 of them. All that any of this variety has accomplished is that your players will see 6-12 shitty sub-classes instead of 6-12 good ones. Calling them "job advancements" doesn't change anything about how they function, so of course it doesn't fix the problem at all.

>>54042365

I'm getting the feeling that character creation is the only thing you've ever done in an RPG.

>>54041533
In this case, the first thing you'd want is a legend.

What do the various shapes (hexagonal, diamond, oval, triangular, rectangular, trapezoidal) mean? Why is one arrow red? Why are five boxes green? Why are several boxes empty? Why are some labels all lowercase while most are all uppercase? What logical structure has "Bard" at one end and "Lunar Magic" at the other? What's going on with the "Adventurer" box? Above all, what kind of process is being illustrated?

You may want to consider using a program like Omnigraffle or graphviz.

>>54044210
Not him but it's pretty clear that the red arrow is supposed to connect "acolyte" and "wizard" while bypassing "rune knight" which is in the way.

>>54041242
Shit presentation, generic Finaru Fantasy classes, too many classes, overspecialisation. Indie vidya/10.

>>54041242
1, where do I start
2, why is Barbarian after Soldier?
3 Mercenary should be where soldier is, Soldier should be where Barbarian is, Barbarian is no longer needed, and pull something out of your ass to replace Mercenary.
4: How do I get to bard, lunar magic, or beast tamer?
5: Where is fistfighter?
>I need a degree in philosophy to be a mechanic