>A demonic advisor only you can see constantly gives

>>53985351
Sounds good.

So what's the catch, the usual eternal torment?

>>53985403
The advisor is a retard.

>>53985403
You have to wear a red funnel hat.

>>53985475
Thats not a catch. Thats just good fashion sense.

>A guy is playing a roulette.
>Suddenly Satan appears to him.
>"hey, bet on 17".
>Guy bets on 17 and won.
>"OK, now bet on 23"
>Guy still wins.
>"Now on 9"
>and he won again.
>Dude is happy, rejoicing his victories, when he sees angry Satan going back to hell.
>"Hey wait, what should I bet next?"
>"Oh go fuck yourself you lucky asshole"

>>53985403
That's all you got for giving up your soul.

>>53985497
David the Gnome over here...

>>53985351
>demonic

>>53985351
>the demon is a little black man
Fucking white people, why are they so racist?

>>53985351
Ignore its advice. I have no idea what it's trying to accomplish but I'm gonna get burned by playing along. Even if he isn't just building up trust for some horrible betrayal down the road, and his advice actually leads to short or long term gain, I'm gonna be paying for it pretty awfully somehow.

Total monkey paw of a situation, so the only winning move is not to play.

>>53985351


That's what the internet is. Only you have ever used the same internet, every gets one, and it's used to feed you lies and misinformation, including this, to test your reaction.

You don't need to reply, there are plenty of cameras and mics in your phone/home/appliances.

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>>53985351

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>>53985475
> Not joining glorious phrygian cap master race.

>>53985589
You're asking the wrong question.

Fucking black people, why are they so demonic?

>>53985787
There was this one short comic I read where three people summon a devil to grant their wishes, only to find out Hell works of a point system. So like getting an apple would cost 1 point, killing somebody would be more than that, etc. etc. They get 100 points to work with and divide it up 33 points each. One guy gets wealth, another cures his terminal disease, another kills 12 members of the Illuminati. No catches, except they summoned this demon on the op floor of the world trade center on 9/11. The devil informs them of this.

They're panicking, trying to use that one point to save themselves. They try to kill the terrorists, they try to teleport out, they try to make themselves invincible, nothing works. They only have one point. They try to give their wishes back, but he won't take them. They can see the plane coming at them through the window. Finally, one of them asks how many points the devil wants destroy the terrorists faith.

There's this small panel of the devil smiling and the plane veers off.

What I'm trying to say here is that the devil is a smart man, and if you're dealing with him it might not be you he plans to fuck.

>>53985868
Damn straight, Troy.

>>53985403
You have to pay zeon for it, and hope no inquisitor with see supernatural appears horny for some skulfucking.

>>53985518
kek
>>53985868
bigger kek

>>53985403
He's creepy and his advice is mostly just obnoxious.

>Wake up from a nightmare
>A horrifying demon is standing over you looking at you
>"Go back to sleep"

>Walk in on your wife cheating on you
>See the demon in the place of the man
>Turns his head 180 to look at you
>"You should probably get a divorce lawyer"

>Go to McDonalds because you want food and are in a hurry
>About to take a bite out of a burger
>Look down at burger
>It's the demon's head
>"You really shouldn't eat fast food"

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>>53985351
It worked for Socrates.

>>53985351
Demonic advisior is overdone. I`d rather eldritch.

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>>53985403
He only gives the advice post-facto
>You shouldn't have bet on black
>You should've checked to see if you're alone
>You should've looked both ways
>You should've asked if she was legal
>You should've tried the left one

>>53985518

I don't get it

>>53987344
Doesn't sound terribly helpful.

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>>53985351
Neat!

>>53986166
Nickelodeon by Douman Sayman

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>>53986166
Douman Seiman is a treasure.

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>>53986166
>>53987838
>>53987889
That was a clever twist, I like it.

>>53985403
If anyone looks at your back, you die.

>>53987699

The devil didn't know which numbers were going to win, but the man won regardless.

>>53985351
Plottwist:
The Demon is actually a genuinely nice guy who targets /tg/ players in particular and is slowly getting pissed off that they either don't trust him or are disappointed that he's not a succubus (or both).

>>53990142
I mean, thats gonna be all demons trying anything in modern society.
Because the whole "whatever you try, the demon will fuck you up" meme has been to inrooted in all but the most stuck up retards.

>>53990399
>genuinely nice guy
>, thats gonna be all demons
Hey there, Satan, we don't fall for your tricks here

>>53990422
Don't matter if they are a risen demon or fallen angel, society is to wisened up to demon deals.

Which they should be 660 out of 666 times its gonna fuck you over.

>>53990459
>the joke
>.
>..
>...
>..
>.
>anon's head

>>53985518
proof that lucky is inadvertently the most powerful trait.

>>53987344
I already have one of those

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>>53985351
>the advice is about your homework

>>53985403
He helps you because he knows you're going to make the world a worse place

>>53991323
He's not wrong.

>>53985351
Replace "helpful advice" with "unhelpful advice and insults" and you have one of the subplots from a game I ran.

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>>53990574

>>53986999
Everyone's got one of those, genius.

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>>53989912
Always snag em when they're young.

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>>53985351

I woulldn't call her demonic but simple minds can only do so much.

>>53985351
>>My stand *DOWN TO GEORGIA* will be the judge!

>>53985403
The advise is actually terrible, its supposed to fuck you over but somehow, someway, the situation seems to always end up in your favor.

>negotiating with some king
>demon tells you to call him an asshole
>you hesitate but do it
>king says he likes the cut of your jib
>its been years since he met anyone who didn't just kiss his ass.
>gives you whatever you want.

its very frustrating for the demon.

>>53985403
You're actually a schizo and just imagining it all in your head

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>>53985403
It speaks like a singing MC Ride.

>>53985403
The demon tells you things you need to hear and secretly know are true, but you don't want to listen to.
>"Your mother is lonely, you need to call her more often."
>"You're wasting your potential, you need to go back to school."
>"That haircut was a mistake, you look like a literal retard."
>"Stop using the bathroom so much at work, everyone knows you're just wasting everyone's time in there."
>"Endlessly posting on a Bavarian cheesemaking forum will only make you fat, bald, and bitter"
>"Mister Rogers knows you could be better than this."

>>53985351
If it worked for Silvester II it will work for me.

>>53991323
But MY life will get better, right?

>>53985403
He sounds like Gilbert Gottfried.

>>53994342
Define "better". You will become rich and influential, but you will have no real friends, your wife and children will loathe you, you will be widely hated, and you will die alone and miserable in a billion-dollar hospital bed. But you'll have money and power, that's the important part, right?

>>53994392

I'm already miserable and alone, now I'm miserable and alone AND rich.

>>53994306
>"Stop using the bathroom so much at work, everyone knows you're just wasting everyone's time in there."
Fuck off, my stomach has just been in a really bad condition lately

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What's he saying?

>>53994499
>"traps aren't gay bro, go for it."

>>53988791
This implies that the devil was out to destroy the Muslims faith

This implies that the Muslims were "right" why else would Satan want to stop them unless they really were striking a blow against him and really were going to be sent to paradise

Ergo, this comic is promoting terrorism and radical islam

>>53994499
"Penis, penis, penis. Penis, penis, penis. Penis, penis, COCK!!!"

>>53994499
>Pizzagate is real

>>53994392
so exactly like now, except I have money? Sign me up

>>53994510
I think the point is it's really hard to kill yourself.

>>53985351
>I kill him and eat his heart and brain
>gain his power and knowledge

Now what, bitch?

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>>53989984

>>53990399

The real trick is that the degil. Convinced the world that he was God and God was he, so now, no one listens to God when he answers their prayers

>>53994499
>let me teach you about Scrambleverse.

>>53994499
> Make the Gatewatch as standard in every new set. They'll buy it, they'll buy anything.

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>>53985403

His advice only consists of who has the best asses

>>53994361

Stage persona Gottfried or his actual voice?

>>53985351
Huh, sounds like a helluva adventure hook. I'm writing this one down.

>>53994361
>>53995615
I don't see how either of those is a drawback.

It's like having my own demonic Iago.

>>53985403
It's all according to keikaku.

>>53986998
He actually just smiles whenever you follow his advice or when you don't. He has the most poker of faces and you never know if following his advice THIS TIME will kill you. Or save you...

>>53996997
This was actually in reply to:
>>53993920

>>53994499
Whipe that fucking grin off your face, there's nothing funny about the humerus

>>53994499
>I fucked Ted

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>>53994902
yes