After killing the evil in the dungeon, you find a tiny mermaid

>>53734283
Open the bottle by hand? Mages don't think of shit! Put in large fish tank.

>>53734283
Tear a hole in the wall and seal it inside.
I don't want to free what is potentially a demon.

>>53734283
Make into Sushi

Say hello, and try to ask her if she needs help.

Definitely do not leave her with any party members that might try to eat her, such as catfolk or lizardfolk.

>>53734283
Ask if they need help. Consider whether or not helping them is worth my PCs time.

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>>53734283
add her to my bottle mermaid collection

>>53734283
Find the other three so I can open up the Water Temple.

put dick in bottle

>>53734425
She bites it off.

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how did you get stuck in a bottle, bottle mermaid?

>>53734283
Vanquish.

>empty bottle
>fill with milk
>drink twice for healing.

>>53734554
adamantine dick, warforged 4 lyfe! Her teeth shatter causing 1d4points of damage, and 2 rounds of silence.

>>53734663
She still bites it off.
Ever think she was put in a warded bottle for a reason?

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>>53734425
>>53734663
roll knowledge nature 1d20

Awesome aquarium time!

Seriously, who doesn't want mini-humanoids as a decoration?

shove it up a goblins ass

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>>53734283

>>53734283
If I could keep time in a bottle....

>>53734663
adamantine teeth, warforged mermaid 4 lyfe! your dick shatters causing 1d4points of damage, and 2 rounds of shameful silence.

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>>53734368
the bottle mermaid does not speak your language. even if it could, the bottle seems sound proof

>>53734909
Go find a tool for language translation, then once found uncork and put em in a more open container to try and talk.
If a tool can't be found just bother some old mage who may know of the mini mermaids.

>>53734283
magic proof is not hammer proof. Smash and release into sea. Gain minimum one undersea ally.

>>53734663
For what purpose was an expendable war golem, which do not procreate but are deliberately crafted in magitech factories for specific tasks all related to war, be constructed with a penis?

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>>53734425
piranha mermaid

>>53734996
You smash the bottle open.
I AM COMPLETE

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>>53734996

>Smash and release into sea
the mermaid gets slashed the shattered glass. shes dead.

good job anon

detect evil

>>53735063
Thanks so how much xp do I get?

>>53734996
>Please assume the position

This thread inspired me. My next villain will be a smuggler/arms dealer under the guise of an exotic pet dealer. If the party talks to him a lot, he'll mention his 'exotic fish collection'.

Which, as you might guess, is tiny mermaids in individually labelled bottles. He likes to look at them.

>>53734283
I shake the bottle vigorously.

>>53735091
5.
2 for the bottle, 2 for discovering a minimaid, and 1 for the mermaid.

>>53734283
Slowly pour alcohol into the bottle.

>>53735091
Hello? I killed a monster so I should get XP, how much did I earn?

>>53734283
Declare bottle and the denizen my property until either of them can prove to have intelligence higher than domestic animal.

>>53735272
That's not much.

Gee I wonder why this bottle is magic proof. Couldn't possibly have anything to do with tales of mermaids singing siren songs.

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>>53735224
there should only be one.
it should be special
and rare
and mysterious
and precious

>>53735259
after shaking the bottle, the mermaid spins inside for a few seconds from the momentum of the water, after un dizzying herself she looks at you and frowns.

>>53735283
the mermaid starts to suffocate.

>>53735308
He wasn't.

>>53735377
>He

Looks like I made the right choice.

>>53734283
Equip her floundering body as a cock-sleeve and continue down the trail as such.

>>53734996
>making a war golem that can't rape
why the FUCK would you do that?

>>53734781
Go on...

>>53735063
It was implied that you carefully break the glass into large glass shards you simpleton. Not hard to do. Any idiot could do it

>>53735415
You fool, you were in my magical realm all along.

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>>53735527
you place the bottle on a table with one hand, and lift your hammer in the other. as you do so, the mermaid looks up at you with wide frightened eyes and shakes her head frantically.

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>>53734283
Ask her for the secret formula.

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>>53735321
>turns out the mermaid is actually a powerful sorceress under the effects of baleful polymorph

>>53735611
3 heaping servings of live plankton.

>>53734283
>1 man 1 jar

>>53734283
>Open bottle
>Chug!
>"Delta Tau Chi for life, nerds!"

>>53735656
I ask her if she thinks this is funny.

She can keep the bigger mermaid company in the fishbowl on my guy's back, as we keep questing for gold, fame, and food.

>>53735337
Stop pouring alcohol into the bottle.

>>53734283
Eat the fish half, leave the human half alone.

>>53735707
She says she's incapable of telling lies inside of the jar.

I tie the jar to my belt, I guess we'll go find a marine biologist.

will she use her mermaid magic to turn the party into men

>>53734283
Take care of the poor minimermaid. Feed fish flakes, clean water out every so often, take her to somewhere where the bottle will be safe and try and see if we can't return the minimermaid to said minimermaid's home.

>>53734283
Use a very sharp sword to cut off the neck of the bottle, after making sure the mermaid cowers at the bottom.

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>>53735699
>open bottle
the glass lid to the bottle appears to have been sealed shut by a glazier. you cant open the bottle without breaking it.

>>53735774
the mermaid watches you holster the bottle with a doubtful look on her face. she sighs, folds her arms and pouts in the bottle as it bounces on your belt as you walk.

>>53735712
you stop pouring alchohol into the bottle. the mermaid is seems barely concious, her mouth widely gasping for any oxygen in the poisoned water

>>53735884
>>the glass lid to the bottle appears to have been sealed shut by a glazier. you cant open the bottle without breaking it.
Then the mermaid should've suffocated long ago, since there's no way for oxygen to get in and carbon dioxide to get out. You suck at this.

>>53735906
>hen the mermaid should've suffocated long ago
there is a small air hole in the lid.

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>>53734283
But is the bottle fireproof? I just ate fishcakes, and now I crave more.

>>53735749
Ravioli, ravioli, give me the real formuloni.

put some bone chips/sand/sawdust in there and shake my new snowglobe.

>>53735884
>Shoot a 1D4 sized load through the hole and shake jar in an attempt to mate with the creature

>>53735749
I ask her if she wants to come and work as a fry cook at my restaurant.

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>>53735873
>very sharp sword to cut off the neck of the bottle, after making sure the mermaid cowers at the bottom.
you gesture toward the mermaid to hide at the bottom and show that you will cut the top off. she looks frightened but understands, and moves toward the bottom and curls up into the fetal position, covering her head and neck with her arms. you slash open the neck of the bottle with the sword as if it was champagne.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cupnnTpHOGA

ROLL D20 TO NOT FUCK UP

Use an adamantium wire saw to cut the bottle neck off at a wide angle so she can escape

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>53736221
Here goes nothing.

>>53735988
Buns, 3 heaping servings of live plankton, that mold that grows in the cellar, sea weed, secret sauce (mayonnaise mixed with vinegar).

>>53736093
She says she's ready.

>>53736277
>13
what is your BAB, this is important

>>53734283
Release it so I can get Oxyale and go to the sunken temple.

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>>53734283
You gotta smite ALL the evil

If it was found in the dungeon it's probably evil

Smite and cleave

>>53734909
Its obviously a succubus in disguise

Smite evil

Measure bottle for volume.
Find bottle with the same volume.
Fill it with my semen.
Transfer contents of second bottle to first bottle.

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>>53734283
Ask her if I can borrow her bottle so I can be immune to magic.

>>53736286
I give her a spatula, put her in the back room, and never pay her anything. AKAKAKAKAKAKA

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>>53736277
>Rolled 13 (1d20)
>Here goes nothing.
you wind up to cut the neck of the bottle, your technique is sound but amateurishly executed. the sword cuts mostly cleanly through the glass but some shards break off. the magic proof enchantment visibly breaks from the bottle with a bright flash of light and a pop. a shard has grazed the mermaid giving her a minor cut, she screams out in pain, the sound is ear piercingly loud, the pain forcing you cover your ears.

ROLL CON SAVE TO NOT DROP THE BOTTLE

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>53736543

>>53734283
Turn water into super high strength holy water.If mermaid is unaffected release it into big tank.

>>53734283
She becomes the party's new mascot.

>>53734996
Why wouldn't you give it a dick?

My God man, do you even play a wizard?

>>53734654
Hylian Internet Defense Force pls.

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>>53736744
>Rolled 15 (1d20)
you endure the piecring scream of the mermaid, and manage to hold onto the broken bottle, thus not spilling the water, and not dropping it completely.

the mermaid is clentching her teeth and clutching the side of her torso, where a long cut is bleeding, just below her gills. she looks down at the wound, then at you, with an irritated expression. she speaks a strange language and has a voice that is unnaturally loud and ethereal. it intensely reverberates in the room. she then sighs with relief and leans back in the water.

the mermaid is now free of the bottle.

>>53734283
Roll to seduce.

>>53736897
hmmm i wonder what properities holy water has on water breathing creatures.

>>53737203
What effect does holy air has on people?

>>53737027
Time to check our medical supplies.

>>53737403

Cleric reporting for duty, I have 1 Cure light wound left for the day. Shall I heal your fish friend?

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>>53737403
>Time to check our medical supplies.
you set down the bottle and mermaid, and look through your supplies as the mermaid watches you inquisitively. all of your medical supplies are sized for normal people. the mermaid is barely 6 inches long. luckily, you have one used healing potion, with a few drops left on the bottom.

>>53737581
Use a few drops of water to wash the remaining potion out into a spoon. Let her drink that.

>>53735844
This.

>>53734283
Cum either inside or on the bottle

>>53734283
Use Martial Art to attack on the Cut AT with my hand and chop the top off the bottle. Let Wizard cast Understand Languages so we can communicate properly with the tiny water Sheele. If friendly, or seemingly so, assist in whatever endeavor it needs to get home. If hostile, ATATATATA until problem is solved.

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>>53737692
you wash the remaining potion into a spoon from your mess kit. you gesture to the mermaid that she should drink the liquid and lower it to her. she looks puzzled and hesitantly lifts herself out on the water to sip the potion from the spoon like a child trying a medicine for the first time. the wound on her side slightly heals. realizing this, the minimermaid drinks until the wound is completely healed.

no longer in any physical pain, she rests her arms on the edge of the bottle like a hottub. she turns palms upward and shrugs at you as if saying, "what now?"

>>53737910
Give her the benis

>>53734283
I tip the mermaid into a 1 litre bottle filled with a years worth of cum and i watch with delight at the look of disgust, horror and fear on her face as she suffocates in cold gloopy semen

>>53737991
No, only happy dickings
Pls no bully

>>53735028
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

>>53737910
Is she a sea-mermaid or a river mermaid ? Can she breathe in both ? If she need salted water it may cause logistical problems

>>53734283
Drink It.

>>53737991
But cum dries out, you doofus.

this seems like old school /tg/

I want more, more of this

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>>53738069
>Is she a sea-mermaid or a river mermaid ? Can she breathe in both ? If she need salted water it may cause logistical problems
you dont know, but you know that you should find out

>>53734283
The bottle is kept as a prize. She stays in a shelf were everyone can look at her. People are interested in her. The way she looks, the way she moves. Even the fact there is such being is enough to make people interested. Everyone who sees the glass is mesmerized. But the novelty eventually fades. Over time she becomes just one more detail. No one pays attention at that little being anymore. Nobody notices when a housemaid puts her in the basement. After decades your granddaughter is searching for some tool in an old chest when they accidentally break a glass. She hears a weak scream coming out of the object. Your son rushes down to the basement. When he holds the little creature in his hands he remembers a history you told him when he was a child. He never understood how the little mermaid could have escaped. But at that moment he knew what the poor creature had been through. He felt all the neglect and despair. Being a mere object, forgotten in a dirty corner of the house.

>>53734909
try hand signals and charades

I take 20 on my craft check to score and remove the top of the bottle, using ceramic or gemstone and a jeweler's hammer to accurately fracture the glass.

I use comprehend languages/speak with animals to establish her short term needs and habitat, which I provide.

From there, the normal rhythm of prisoner rehab takes place. Other scenarios are possible, and accounted for, mostly using anti-magic fields and the standard battery of mind-protection.

>>53737203
If they are evil,the same poisoned water has.

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>>53739124
this anon wins the thread, i guess.

>stick dick in there
>fap until balls deflate
>see fish die gurgling cum

Jesus, why are there so many of these mermaid in a jar pictures?

>>53740247
it's a thing people seem to like.

>>53740247
Because it's easier to do than a nephrim from the bottled angel series.
It's an angel of good luck.

(Man, Blue Stinger was strange. )

Dip a finger in the water and taste it, should be ale to see if frsh water or sea water.
Also anyone prepare comprehend languages or tongues today?

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We have tons of these so we don't pay any attention to it.

>>53741121
Oh my god I want some.

Accidently breaking the glass while leaving, coming back later to some unknown creatures skeletal remains of courious beauty, and finally making ultra expensive bonecrafts for trade out of them.

>>53734283
Open it.
If she's evil and weak, I don't care.
If she's evil and powerful I have more adventures coming.
If she's good and weak I don't care.
If she's good and powerful I may get a prize.
If she's neutral I don't care.

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>>53734996
probably for bringing shame to your enemies by making them feel inferior/by managing to cockslap them midcombat

>>53735487
9/10 times it backfires and they rape your entire army before the day of battle, leaving the enemy very confused charging into a camp of butthurt warriors and mages.

>>53734283

If the neck is too narrow, jerk off into it. If the neck isn't, fuck the bottle.

>>53735938
then it's not soundproof anymore
you suck at this

>>53735065
this nigga gets it

>save mermaid.
>she tells her father
>father is king neptune
>allows me to marry her as thanks
>thanks but no thanks good chum, just doing the right thing
>gain undersea allies

my character is based off of golden age comic heroes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDi-WOJFCso

>>53734283
>trapped in a magic proof bottle
A tenner says she is a sealed ancient evil.

LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND

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>>53734355
Racist! RACIST!!

>>53743313
>>53743340
It always baffled how being expecting people act to their stereotypes is somehow considered bad.
That's why they are stereotypes - because there is established experience of people acting that way.
Stereotypes don't just spontaneously appear from nowhere - statistics don't lie and all that jazz.

>>53743370
Because people hate to lose illusion of agency.

>>53743340
>human hair on a cat
Come on man

>>53734283
Go and look for better loot

>>53743340
go yiff in hell, catfolk, prejudices exist for reasons

>>53734422
HA!

>>53743313
One of the other party members points out that the evil creatures guarding the bottle could have easily freed her if they wanted to, suggesting that she may in fact be a sealed ancient good. Unfortunately the enchantments on the bottle mean that you can't probe her directly without opening it.

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>>53734996

>>53743370
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Lippmann

>>53734283
Uncork the bottle and introduce some glistening oil into the water. All will be compleat.

>>53738085
Tell /mlp/ that. They've done it.

>>53734283
Aah, this appears to be a sahuagin ritual reagent.
A barbaric practice where a sentient creature is reduced in size and stored in a bottle such that it can be ritually consumed as part of a spell later.
On the right market, it's worth a fair amount.

>>53743340
But racism is a crime!
And racism is for catfolk!

>>53745936
Goddamn, i fucked that up. I meant
And crime is for cat people!

Why....Why in the hell are there so many images of bottle mermaids?

Not that I'm complaining, I think it's adorable and made a new folder just for that, but I have to wonder.

>>53746279
Because beta fish are popular

>>53738251

Not that guy, but if you're still around

Turn around and leave the dungeon after pillaging whatever other loot I can find. On my way back to town spend time trying to communicate with the mermaid through hand singals and mimicry and such, try to find out more about her.

Guess I'm off to find myself a merfolk ring or something like that. Or a dictionary/translation guide.

>>53746279
I think it was a meme on pixiv for a while

>>53734283
Ask her where to free her.
Go there and free her.

>>53746279
>Why in the hell are there so many images of bottle mermaids?
>I think it's adorable
answered your own question.

However, I too, did not know this was a thing until just now.

>>53741121
Fukin souless gooks, 2 bombs wasnt enough.

>>53735906
its magic, i aint gotta explain shit

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>>53746279
because bottle mermaids a cute

>>53734315
>Cant risk releasing a demon
>Better bury a potential innocent alive
wat

>>53750280
Let justice be done

>>53744374
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Lippmann
>Lippmann

Every time.

>>53735224
That is actually a neat idea.
Stealing this, if you don't mind.

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op here, whoa this thread is still up.
so where did we leave off? the mermaid is free of the bottle and healed. anyone want to keep going?

>>53734283
There's something lovely about the whole concept of pet with intelligence similar to that of a human.

I mean a child would fit the criteria, but this seems like wrong motivation for getting one.

>>53752482
you sir, are projecting your own degeneracy. i am motivated by empathy and desire to help those in need.

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>>53752542
Well, if they are better off in your care than they would be in the wild or with the previous owner, you're helping alright...

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>>53752642
but, i want to free the mermaid and take her home, i dont want keep it.

>>53734909
if it looks like this, save it
>>53734283
if it looks like this, discard

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>>53752723
But if you're taking her home, you're keeping her.
Unless you mean her home, in which case she's keeping you.

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>>53752818
heres one
>>53752848
stop intentionally interpreting people's words uncharitably.

>>53752425
Amusingly, the easiest way to transport her out of the dungeon, and onwards to wherever, would be to find another bottle. As otherwise you would risk injuring her.

>>53752893
Still need habitat information. At the very least first check water for funky magic, then taste for salt vs fresh. Then check pack to see what we have to work with. Spare bottle?

>>53756283
You brought one bottle in your pack that was previously full of liquor from a different anon. Roll for a gentle pour?

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>53756579
Try and explain to her what we're doing.
Roll is for charades.

>>53738011
YES YOU ARE FUCKED
SHIT OUT OF LUCK
NOW I'M COMPLETE AND MY COCK YOU WILL SUCK

>>53743340
"Cloud! Why are dressed as a cat? And why did you steal Yuffie's clothing?"

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>53756579
>>53756765
And here is another roll for the pour.

>>53759309
Well, that's unfortunate.

>>53759309
Rip mini-mermaid

>>53759915
Mermaids are for lewd not food

>>53734283
The party is a Mermaid, three young Sea Dragons and an Ocean Girl-expy.

We are freeing our small, captured sister and looking after her as we seek out her friends and family or where ever she wants to go.
Failing that, we're breaking our Mermaid's exile again so we can take lil' Mermaid to big Mermaid's former home to be looked after.