An alien Champion says his race will invade Earth unless someone

>>53705515
Sleep the longest without being woken up.

>>53705515
That one game, with the moving things, high number of towers or w/e.
We have this thread all the damned time.

This is the plot of a dozen 30+ year scifi short stories.

It's always about Tower of Hanoi.

He needs to make a fully painted, fluffy army and beat a riptide wing in 7th.

>>53705515
I challenge him to a FATAL arena fight.

>>53705515

I challenge him to marry me, then spend the rest of our lives trying to convince ourselves that the entire relationship isn't a farce and that we do actually care about eachother.

>>53705515
A cooperative game that requires being able to empathize with people to win.

>>53705935
Whats the number of discs you need to exceed 100 years?

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>>53705515
Jenga's a mental contest in a way, right? Let's see his bulky alien hands carefully and precisely pull out each piece without toppling the tower.

>>53706424
You never read the comic, did you?

Something like poker, where reading the other player is a large part of the game rather than just the rules.

That guy seems rather hammy and dramatic, I'm not sure he has a great poker face. Hopefully the physiological differences make my own harder to read.

It could backfire badly but I can't see myself beating him at too many games if he can beat all those chess grandmasters so it's my shot at it.

>>53705952
I challenge him to win a Magic the Gathering Pro Tour, knowing nothing but the rules of the game and the list of cards in the Standard card pool.

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>>53705935
Either that or a simple 'dumped in a desert, the game is DEATHMATCH' situation.
I do not advise you actually try the Arena route.

>>53705515
model politics

Challenges are
>Achieve peace in the middle east
>Resolving the Chechen conflict
>How to thrive under an theoretical alien invasion

Even if we lose (likely) we should get a few good things out of it

Find Permit A38.

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>>53705515
There is only really one answer.
Also, fuck you. This game is as mental as it is physical

>>53705515
Just send one of our unbeatable chess AIs as our champion

How did they resolve it in the comic, OP?

>>53705515
I challenge him to a /tg/ shitposting match over who gets the most (You)s

Well, obviously we can't beat him in brute strength. And sheer mental prowess is out of the picture. Which means we'll have to tilt the odds in our favour, quite literally, by introducing as much random chance as possible into the challenge. Something with an evershifting battlefield to keep him on his toes, with enough random aspects to mitigate his skills.

So the answer is to challenge him to a children's card game

Challenge him to a game of chess on 2 boards, with sides flipped so it's fair.

If we tie, that proves that I'm mentally his equal.

Wait for him to make the first move and copy it on the other board so I can never lose.

>>53705515
Pit him against alpha-go. Tell him he needs to win ten sequential games with a 9 month time between them.

I challenge him to a writing competition, with no preparation.

>>53706319
He only accepts on one condition: he gets to use alien tech to make you a cute girl so you're at risk of falling in love with his alien dick too.

>>53705515
I play 1st ed epic with squats

>>53707232
See >>53705563

>>53707638
>If we tie, that proves that I'm mentally his equal.

Except that the bullshit here is so transparent that even an average human 6-year-old could tell that the above claim is false.

>>53707638
>Wait for him to make the first move and copy it on the other board

But thats not how Chess works. By the second move at the latest he'll react and play differently on each board.

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>>53705515
There's only one answer really.

>>53708808
We got to put in Magnus Carlson for the strategy angle

The obvious answer is trivial pursuit

>>53705515
Tic Tac Toe vs a PLC

>>53705515
Diplomacy.

>>53706844

>It has to be a mental contest, so no challenging him to Candyland

>>53705515
Let him play chess and name one of those chess computers as humanity's champion.

>>53705515
Have him give a proof for quick prime factorization.

>mental contest

have him sit in a room of SJWs.

whoever kills an SJW first in a fit of rage loses.

>>53705515
musical improvisation

rap battle

>>53712021
Survival of the illest.

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>>53705515
Come at me

>>53711493
But what if he likes pancakes

>>53705515
Tower of Hanoi 1024 discs.Maximum 1 movement per second.

>>53707159
You get Q points awarded to your score for winning this thread.

>>53709266
But anon, Magic the Gathering *is* a mental contest.

Usually. When Aetherworks Marvel isn't involved, anyway.

>>53705515
high-speed suicide
whoever kills himself faster wins

>>53705515
> Now YOU have to come up with a game and a way to best him at it.
You sure he isn't distracting the most intelligent people on the planet?

Other than that, Diplomacy seems the most promising. He'll have to imitate humans, which is something people have a certain edge at.

>>53705515
I'd challenge it to make me cum

>>53705515
I challenge him to create the perfect RPG that will satisfy all fa/tg/uys.

>>53705515
If you lose, you'll go away, right? The Game.

>>53715423
Not to mention that all you have to do is point to his very real threat to destroy the world if he wins and you don't. At that point, every other player will probably support you, or at least dogpile him.

>>53717801
Bastard!

Unfortunately by playing that card, you immediately lose before you even make your play.

>>53717858
The only way to win the game is to nit play, if its alien vs humanity we automatically win because some people arent playing the game.

Roshambo

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Suicide race, whoever dies first wins!

>>53705515
I pull a Bilbo and challenge him to a game of riddles.

>>53717801
I just lost The Game.

Fucker. People like you are why God doesn't talk to us anymore.

>>53718097
>all aliens are playing the game
Flawless theory

Trivial Pursuit. Not because I'm good at trivial pursuit, but because I doubt an alien will know, say, who won the Super Bowl in 1987.

Monopoly.

With house rules to draw it out into a slow, gruelling stalemate so that eventually the fucker just ragequits

>>53717858
I never specified what happened if I lost, only what would happen if he lost.

>>53717801
Genius

>>53705515
Seven minutes in heaven

Punch him til he dies.

>>53705515
Ask him about a game of his kind that he thinks he's especially good at, then beat him at a fair match of that.

Strive not for success, but excellence.

>>53707154
I like you.

>>53721824
alien champion vs all of mankind, not alienkind vs mankind
anyway there's still a flaw: the game never ends, so while he can lose a trillion times there's nothing stopping him from making sure that all humans end up playing the game either

>Outclasses everyone at Chess
Methinks that's just an overspecialiation. There' tons of game which are purely intellectual that play completely different than Chess.

Axiom, Blokus, Dvonn, Gipf, Mancala, Go, Tsuro, Tunnelz, Zertz, Yinsh, Twixit, Senet, Nomic... I could go on

>>53705515

TRIVIA PURSUIT

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>>53705515
It's not the game, but the player.
To best him, we just have to give him an unbeatable opponent.