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>first ever Dnd session
>doing a merc job for some guy, whole party is fucking around in a bar while we wait for him to show up
>some traveling merchant comes in
>one guy (playing as an idiot goliath) walks up to the guy and end up buying the "Greatest Axe"
>both me and the wizard in our party are very suspicious of this guy, and both try to figure out what was wrong with it
>the only thing we find out was that it was "very shiny"
>goliath says fuck it and goes to test it out on a tree outside
>asks GM if it's illegal to cut down property here
>GM says yes
>"fuck it, I'm doing it anyway"
>walks outside, while the wizard and I are very nervous
>Goliath takes a nice big swing and cuts a tree right in half
>it lights on fire and starts falling towards the bar
>wizard runs out and casts douse to put out the fire
>tree is still going to fall on the bar
>I, being a complete genius, decide to run up and uppercut the tree in half so it falls somewhere else
>I roll a 3
>Tree falls on top of me instead
>the owner of the bar, hearing the commotion, runs out and starts screaming at us
>apparently the tree was sacred or some shit
>Wizard notices someone in the distance
>It's the fucking guy who was hiring us
>He sees what's going on and starts running towards the bar
>he's yelling at us too
>"why the fuck did I hire you idiots
>we get really far in debt because of the damage done to the tree
>fuck up the entire campaign before it even started
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>>53661309
Hey, man... You tried
Also, that sounds really fun
>>
Think on the bright side, repaying that debt is pretty much a campaign seed in itself!
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That's great actually , now you've all got a shared bond toward that tavern so you can send all you spare money toward building it back up. GM must love you guys for all the sweet material you're giving him.
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>>53661309
The shitty part is, you have no idea what its like to be in a player group of people who have played D&D so much that each character is a pure robot professional that never acts in any manner that isn't 100% rational and practical.
You have no idea how good you actually have it OP. No fucking idea at all.
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>>53661309
That sounds fucking great as a campaign.
Wish my players did shit like that.
>>
>you sad cunts actually think this is good
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>>53661309
That sounds like mad fun. Props for the GM for not dropping guards on you with the usual
>STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
mentality.
Is this a thread for general PC idiocy? Because I have exactly one story from the last session regarding this.
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>>53667911
It's not bad. It's a little silly, but it's not bad.
>>
>>53668032
Share it
>>
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>>53668110
So, after our last campaign ended in TPK through Medusa, our GM decided to run another module and we were told to make a brand new level 4 character.
>just elfing it up in Faerun
>left home to learn more about magic on the field. Want to become a great Wizard
>keeping my spells for myself in Spellhold, Amn
>because of 'muh license to magic'
>as if that ever stopped a wizard to do her thing before
>meet a half-elf bard who is constantly hitting on people
>a hot headed human warrior
>a winged tiefling who disappears from time to time to do things on his own
>and a gnome follower of Umberlee who might be bipolar or nevrotic.
>hunt down a bounty of bandits with them, go back to a city to hang out in a tavern for a night
>pass out
>wake up on a hard wooden floor to someone shouting
>nauseous, everything seems to be moving. Head hurts a lot
>there are foreign sailors all around
>where's my spellbook?
>it's actually pirates
>stay very quiet, these people are very scary
>we're told to get up and get moving to meet the pirate captain
>the warrior with a temper doesn't give a shit
>he tells them as much and that if they want him to move they better go get him
>try to hide behind the half-elf
>he is also antagonizing the scary man with a whip
>as I thought, he gets whipped in the groin
>I go and hide behind the gnome: he seems to know the drill and is calm
>the barbarian is jumped by four people and the scary man with a whip
>he punches two out cold but gets dropped in the end
>lucky he is not killed on the spot by the scary pirates
>the winged tiefling is here too, tries to do magic while the fight goes on
>gets whipped by the pirate on the hand for it
>can't use magic on this ship
>hope against hope that the group won't do more things to antagonize the pirates
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