That guy thread? >that guy who brings his girlfriend >that

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>>53558524
Holy shit did that dreamworks character just get into the real world?

>>53558903
It's Jimmy Neutron in his awkward teenage years.

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>>53558945
It's clearly famed roboticist Dr. Mikhail Cossack

>That guy who makes a paladin for an evil party
>That guy who makes a half-demon necromancer for a good party
It's almost always the same guy.

>that guy who plays a religious class but doesn't bother picking a god

>that guy who plays a caster but doesn't ever prepare spells
>That guy who insists to play but never rolls up a character
>that guy who sits on his phone the entire session then says he needs to take more notes

>>53559302

>hey guys so how do I make an atheist paladin?

>>53558524
>that girl who wants to play a monster race and texts on her phone the whole time

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>>53558524

>>53559343
My dm let me play one once.

When I went to use smite he said

"You delve deep inside yourself to draw upon the energy of... Secular Humanitarianism...."

I still was playing a generally good person, but the focus was more on just being good instead of rejecting a god or something.

>that guy who makes the autistic girl in the party cry IRL because he spent an entire session doing unnecessary PvP on her

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>>53559255
>not accepting a paladin of slaughter

>>53559369
>they told me I could be anything
>so I became a pineapple

>>53558524
>that guy who brings his girlfriend
What if my gf likes tabletop rpgs and can play them? What are you scared girls or something bro?

>>53558524
>>that guy who asks if his hard can play [random musical instrument that nobody has heard of] for laughs
Depends on how hard he gets, but either way, I only see him playing a skin flute.

>>53559399
>unnecessary PvP
nice pleonasm

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>5e point buy
>player goes 15/15/15/8/8/8

>>53559575
>>53559369
>>53559130
>>53558945
>>53558903

The classic "not gonna talk about the subject but about the image" thread

>That guy who never plays anything but a rogue
>That guy who says his rogue is a thief, but doesn't steal, pick locks, climb things, or do stealth
>That guy who decided to play something else other than a rogue but really meant playing a rogue that just calls itself something else.

>>53558524
>That guy who always puts minimal effort into his characters, never reads the source books, and still cant make a character by himself, but acts like the dm should cater to him and is entitled as fuck.

>>53559681
I'm curious what you think is wrong with this unless the player missed the chance to go 14/15 and put his racial +2/+1 into those.

>>53559727
I hate that guy... I threw a guy out of my game because of that.

>>53559719
If I'm the first and third, does that make me That Guy?

inb4justaskingmakesmethatguy

>>53559777
I wish I could throw him out, but our group is all friends irl and it would be more drama then its worth.

>>53559815
No, because you're do number 2 and actually playing a fucking rogue. Just don't call yourself an Alchemist and then refuse to make potions, and only do rogue things and you're good.

>>53559868
Not him, but I know that feel. A friend of ours joins our games, and he'll roleplay just fine, but when it comes to ANYTHING rules related the game slows to a crawl. I mean simple shit like attacking things.

When we all help him finally figure out all the bonuses, he might remember for a few rounds and then he'll forget again because two rounds ago he did something OTHER than just attack.

Thankfully (and also sadly, because he's a pretty funny guy otherwise) he doesn't show up much anymore.

>>53559777
>That guy who kicks players out for optimization in 5e.

>That guy who always brags about how much sneak attack dice he can roll against the party if he sneak attacked them

>>53559760
>what's wrong with min/maxing
t. That Guy

>>53560047
>min
>max

those stats are neither.

>>53560020
>That guy who invests heavily in sneak attack and then does nothing but charge into combat without stealth

>that guy who has GM'd before and now tries to "help" me by "pointing out" good plot hooks for the party, telling other players to roll checks and decides when and how he does his own rolls

>>53559967
Optimization was definitely not the issue. He wouldn't make a physical copy of his character sheet, he'd basically never roleplay, he'd always have a massive chip on his shoulder and if he failed at ANYTHING he'd leave the room and do something else which was annoying because he was kinda unlucky too. He just oozed a miasma of fail...

>>53560064
>that guy who thinks sneak attack damage crits
>that gm who lets him

>>53558524
>that guy who is too autistic to even be around a female and shits himself when your girlfriend walks by the table

lol

>>53559302
>>53559343
>>53559394

>what is a Favored Soul

>>53558524
>that guy who brings his girlfriend

To be fair, I bring my wife when we play boardgames

>>53558524
>That guy who never does anything outside of our sessions.

We usually create characters together, so that's not that big of a deal. But I swear the next time we have to waste the first 15 mins of the session because he didn't level up I am kicking him.

>>53560063
With 5e point buy 8 is min and 15 is max

>>53558524
>that guy who brings his girlfriend
>that guy who asks to fuck every female NPC

I hope this isn't the same guy.

>>53560070
I am retarded and didn't see who you were responding to. Yea, that sounds like a god awful person to play with.

>That guy who's so annoying that your players kill your campaign in order to spite him
>Can't get rid of him, so it was pointless
Was it worth it guys?

>>53560210
Why can't you get rid of him? It sounds like your players hate him as much as you (if not more).

>>53560249
Not that guy, but we got our own that guy that always fucks up the plot for the lulz and we can't kick him because he's a mate of all of us outside of the game. So it would just lead to a whole lot of bitterness and bullshit.

Also, I proposed we kick him and the rest of the group did not have the balls.

>>53560097
It does in 5e.

>>53560249
>>53560275
Because my players think it's more fun to fuck with him than just get rid of him outright. I'm not the usual DM, so I don't get to make the call anyway.

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>>53559707

>>53558524
I had all of these guys in one in the same campaign

>>53560176
Oh, my bad.

>>53560495
No problemo

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>>53560299
Sounds like your whole group is Those Guys

>>53560583
Only one I have sadly. I'd go online, but I don't want to disturb the people living with me.

>>53559353
I just imagine a valley girl gnoll texting away, laughing all the while.

>>53560583
If you think everyone at the table is an asshole, chances are you're the asshole.

>>53560069
O-oh no. I do this.

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>>53559369
>>53558524

>>53560130
Favored souls are favored of the deities you numnut

>>53559681
Honestly people that gimp their main stats just to not have any debonuses annoys me more.
It's fine to have flaws! Fuck.

>>53559950
just make him a cheat sheet? a list of their most common actions with notes such as bonuses and aspects of the mechanics they need to know but frequently forget.

>>53563085
You're literally the worst kind of player. I bet you also have been a perma-DM literally because you sabotaged other wannabe DMs in the group with your "help".

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>>53558524

>>53564090

This. I'm really, REALLY bad with rules and I hate when people get mean/rude to me about it. Like, fuck off your character doesn't even have a name at least I have a backstory/personality..

My point is, people have different strengths and weaknesses and not being able to memorize a massive tome for a game isn't that weird.

>>53560069

I try to point out if a character should be allowed a roll (if the player is too inexperienced to notice and gm didn't request it.) Ie- "can she roll persuade?" I'll also say like, "so... do I get a balance check or..?" if the gm just has some shit happen.

>>53558524
i thought wayne static was dead

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>5e
>halfling rogue mastermind in party
>minmaxed
>hides behind normal size players for sneak bonus, shoots with crossbow
>never fucking shuts up about sneak attack damage
>keeps pulling chaotic-dumbfuck stunts
>keeps siphoning off party funds

We're a neutral-evil party, but the second his mishandling of party funds comes to light, I'm going to eat that little cunt.

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>DM keeps postponing the session because two players can't make it last minute every time we try to play
>they're both That Guy
>one is a zany ohlol xd so drunk/stupid/other attention whore
>the other is a "you know that character from Skyrim/Bloodborne/Overwatch..." motherfucker
>but our player group is too small to remove them

>>53564549
I just play with two players and run either a weaker adventure, or more powerful characters.

Having only two people is better than having four really shitty ones.
It requires some GM Fiat but damn I'm getting desperate.

Give them hirelings.

>>53560140
Literally scum of the earth.

>>53559582
>he made her char for her, it's tailored specifically to assist his char
>their chars icly have a relationship, regardless of whether or not it actually makes sense
>he drug her there, she hates the whole thing
There's plenty of reason for that to be that guyish

>>53564592
>GM Fiat
Small groups need General Motors and Fiat to do a colab to run well?

>>53564178
I'm sorry for my fellow cohorts, maybe y'all should take it up with your "backseat GM" folks though, I know I should stop now at least
>tfw incredibly neurotic and filled with doubt at all times
>suddenly this

>>53565634
Fiat will slowly buy all american car manufacturers

>>53565738
GM and Ford are too big to get acquired by those cucks.

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>That guy that plays on his phone between turns
>That guy that texts his GF between turns
>That guy that outright leaves the fucking table between his turns
>Then they complain that a basic combat is taking forever

>>53564406
Hell yeah, eat that piece of shit.

>>53563393
why does his face giggle? he isn't fat

>>53567218
>why does his face giggle? he isn't fat
First, it's jiggle.
His face jiggled, my face giggled.

Second, human beings are all ugly bags of mostly water.
They tend to jiggle.

>>53558524

>Jimmy NuMale

>>53566157
Josh?

>>53564549
>>53564592
>I just play with two players
This.

To paraphrase a Rowan Atkinson punchline: "I wouldn't cancel afternoon session to bury that little shit!"

I can't think of a situation where cancelling a session would ever be necessary just because some players didn't show up.
If there's some reason I can't have their character separate from the group, I usually operate with a rule of running their PC as an NPC with low level plot armor.
If the player doesn't want to miss the specific adventure, and the other players are on board, I run a one shot.

A session with too few players isn't as much fun, but it's still more fun than no session.

>>53565671
Don't worry about it.
It's like needing to adjust yourself in public and realizing your fly is open, so you turn to a wall, adjust your goods properly and zip your fly.
Then you realize you're facing, not a wall, but a darkened window with a mother and her children watching you in horror.
Nothing to do but just move on.

I've played in a 12 man party where only about 5 were guaranteed to show up. Anyone who didn't was said to have "watched the horses" it kind of became an inside joke with my group

>Player can only play a Human
>Will only pick Paladin Class
>Hasn't read the book, doesn't know what he can and can't do
>Doesn't look into shit about his God or ideals, has no idea how to roleplay, doesn't give the character goals, and frequently abstains from roleplay while the rest of the party roleplays heavily and has tons of fun
Looking at you John

>is careless with the game book or damages it
>Bonus points if he borrowed it to run a game with other people

Still pissed me the fuck off

>>53567769
I'm just scared I'll look like an idiot.

>>53564303
>what villain archtype are we going for?
>how about school shooter
>ship it

honestly he was a great villain though

>That guy who only plays Paladin, Samurai, and Jedi (when applicable)
>who frequently steals shit, fights over loot, and suggests torture for information but is still LG guys
>That guy who says he is too busy to level up his own character literally while playing video games with DM
>Who shows up to session and in front of DM's face begins leveling up and putting points into knowledge checks that were just asked for
>who forces DM to pick feats for him, and later starts pounding table in angry fit because the feat chosen (cleave) isn't working and the party keeps stealing his kills.

>>53564349
That's fine. What's not fine is this:

>player A: alright guys, what do you think we should do? Try and jump the ravine and risk falling? Find away around or double back and see if the enemies have left?
>player B: this ravine isn't too wide, I'll jump across it and go scout for enemies up ahead.
>player A: well your funeral if you fail, but up to you
>backseat GM: don't worry about. Player B, just roll athletics to jump over, I personally wouldn't make this skill check difficult since falling down would add nothing to the story. Then while he's doing that, we'll roll dungeoneering to find our way around it and meet up with him and since the light conditions aren't bad, that wil be an easy check for us.
>Me: well, tha-
>backseat GM: rolls. See easy as pie, I find my way around easily. You guys, roll.

>>53568021
Reading this made me angry by proxy, holy fuck.

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>>53567769
I honestly can't understand this.
I can get not being into roleplaying.
I can get being determined to playing only one type of character.
I can get being a poor rollplayer and not interested in improving.
But all of that together just mystifies me, unless it's literally pic related

>>53567807
>I don't want to look like an idiot so I'll participate in an activity but only halfway
Game or don't.
Splash around in the pool or just swim laps.
Halfway doing some of it is just lamely doing neither.

Protip: Spending your time being scared of looking like an idiot is a waste doomed to failure.
Embrace looking like an idiot, the world won't end.
https://youtu.be/31Qnoo-giv0

>That guy who minmaxes diplomacy
>That guy who thinks that because gunslingers exist his Rogue can get a Lahti L-39
>That guy who responds to you telling him "No way in hell are you getting that rifle" with burning down the town the party is in
>That guy who never rolls his dice in view of other players
>That guy who brought a Paladin specialized in mountain combat to a dungeon crawl
>That guy who insists on giving every character he plays some accent that he does really, really badly

That last one is me, I admit

>>53568143
*mounted

>That guy who believes his minmaxed diplomacy means he can talk anyone into doing anything he wants
>That guy who gets really fucking butthurt about being told no

>>53568143
OOOOOOH, YE'V GOT A PROLLEM WIT ME BAD ACCENTS, DO YE LADDIE? YE CANNAE SEE TH' ACCENT'S HALF THE FOOKIN' FUN!

>>53568233
I've always tried to talk the way my characters would, such as a ~8 int being fairly simple with his language, or a foreigner speaking what i call foreign, which is just randomly shifting between a few stereotyped accents, mainly german and british.

am I that guy?

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>>53568021
Godfuckingdammit I had a backseat GM who also backseated other players. He would actually take sheets and try to write on them "for" the other person. I'd tell him "Cut that shit out. Don't ever write on somebody else's sheet. ESPECIALLY not in ink."

"Well, there's no pencil."

The last straw was when he decided to betray the party by attempting to blow up their main transport and gtfo. I had a bunch of TIE Fighters swarm him for opening fire with military-grade weaponry in an urban area. There were already enough in the area that he had zero chance to escape, but he INSISTED on doing combat rolls, cut me off at every step to contest the rules of a homebrew that he had no understanding of. I finally said "Fuggit, you're dead."

"You can't do that."

"Rule Zero, fuckface. Go home. Sick of your shit."
The next day, he texts my wife to apologize and say that he's dropping out because "It's painful being the sole torch bearer and watching you all stumble over yourselves."

This is my brother-in-law.

>>53568233
Goddamn right! Hell, I once played a Dwarf that spoke with a Russian accent, and put in her backstory that she spent her childhood in the Underdark before getting rescued by a Crusade. She wound up being the source of my favorite quote: "Is pretty tree, Elizabet! Let's go have Picnic, Elizabet! THOSE ARE NOT BONES ON GROUND, THOSE ARE JUST ROOTS, ELIZABET!" said in the sassiest tone you can get while pretending to be from the motherland.

My only That Guy experience was a That Girl.

Playing VtM through Roll20, she talks to me outside the group over skype, convinces me to proofread a story she wrote. Find out it's smut, and horribly written smut. Finally finish correcting it, I'm tired, she convinces me to read it aloud so she can listen for mistakes. About halfway through hear what sounds like mac and cheese being stirred.

It wasn't mac and cheese.

>>53568320
>It wasn't mac and cheese.
then what was it?

>>53568320
>>53568361

She was masturbating to me narrating her smut. Furiously.

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>>53568376

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>that one guy who constantly tries to pickpocket the rest of the group and when you call him out on it, he says our characters aren't noticing it so we should be mad at them instead of him

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>>53568320
I remember this story. Nice work anon. Nice work.

>that guy who always turns up late
>he also never has his sheet ready

>>53568376
Was she hot though?

>>53568465

Okay, being late, that's fine

Not having your shit together and needs a second, sure, we all have lives outside of gaming...

Both? Fuck that guy.

I always imagine the people who make and populate these threads are the biggest That Guys themselves and are just oblivious.

If you always smell shit, check your own shoe as they say.

>>53560047
Hate the game, not the player.

>>53560140
>To be fair
This may be the worst expression in the English language. You inevitably come off like a douchebag when you use it, and in your specific situation, it doesn't even make any sense.

>>53568482
Eh. I'd give her a solid 6.5.

>>53568872
Nice

>>53560047
I see nothing wrong with min / maxing, as long as you make a solid character with a solid backstory and are a good roleplayer. It's the people who min / max just to brag about how strong they are and are shit at roleplay that I have a bad time with.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>53568872
Rolling for assistance!

>>53569675
This isn't happening in real time, you mong. Anon storytimed this several months back.

>>53559343
Richard Dawkins

>>53568099
They're called "observers" or "audience"

They don't care about the game or it's world, they care about the camaraderie of being in a group, they're happy to watch or listen to everyone else interact without feeling the need to interact themselves

A guy in my regular group is like that, he's enjoying every session, but never contributes anything to roleplay and phases out almost entirely during rollplay, basically just doing whatever we ask of him throughout the fight

>>53567218
It's the Venom symbiote stealthing.

>>53559343
Among other things being an Atheist in a stereotypical fantasy world where gods exist makes you self deluding (perhaps a delusional sense of conviction drives their Paladin powers).

Or a secular or non denominational Paladin.

>>53567968
>"I'm going to make the best technology ever and give it to everybody so superheroes aren't the only ones capable of defending themselves and solving hard task"
If he didn't commit murder multiple times he wouldn't even be a villain.

>>53568320
>Army girls

>>53568143
>That guy who insists on giving every character he plays some accent that he does really, really badly
A bad accent is not a grave sin. It gets you invested. It means you're role playing.

Honestly the most angry I've ever been with my best friend was when he mocked me doing an accent in front of the whole group.

>>53559343
Read Discworld

Play Constable Dorfl

>>53567438
oh christ
Wolfgang?

>>53567218
Fat would make it jiggle less. This was when he was starting to get old and his face was sagging off his skull. He was actually 52 when they shot that scene, you know.

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>>53567968
>>what villain archtype are we going for?
>>how about school shooter
>>ship it

>>53568831
You do realize there's worst things to say, right?
Actually, I'm surprised you're not aware of more annoying turns of phrase.
I'm surprised you didn't mention that there are even worse ways of interjecting into someone else's conversation.
I can't believe nobody brought up the worst ways to write in threads on message boards.

>>53570452
haha.

>>53558524
what the actual fuck

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>>53558524

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>>53568320

>ywn have an insane army gf who furiously fingers her furburger to you reading her werewolf rape smut she wrote

Thank God for the little things.

>>53564321
Make your own fucking cheat sheet, it's your god damn problem. Normal fucking human beings are considerate of others enough to ensure they aren't flippantly wasting the time of people they are playing games with. If I was a mouthbreather like you and couldn't remember what funny shaped die I roll to attack and how much I add to the result I would, in my own time before a session, look up the equation and then write it down with my values inserted and labeled so if they change I know how it affects the equation.

>>53568416
>>53569725
Cap?

>>53558524
A FUCKING LEAF

>>53560583
Post more of these. They always make me laugh

>>53570593
This is not the place for that. Go to /pol/.

>>53570626
What's /pol/ about that pic?

>>53568320
Always the German girls

>>53568320
I wish I played with That Girls.

>>53570691

Trust me, you don't.

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>>53568320
Wait, didn't you post that story in a thread a few weeks/months back? Anyone have the cap?

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>>53568320

>>53570764
I did, and I don't have the cap anymore. I can retype it, but I need to get some sleep.

>>53570673
>>53570691
>>53570698
>>53570764
>>53570782

It is a common screencap, I don't have it here but I read quite a few times and I'm sure someone will have it.

>>53568320

Also if it's not you, which I have no doubt, you should stop to lie on an anonymous italian canva painting website just to get cool boy points. Because you don't get cool boy points when you lie on an anonymous monghol throat singing website.

>>53558524
sorry i called you a jew.
you jew.

>>53570975
I distinctly remember that he had self-proclaimed proper grammar.
His posts seem to line up with that.

I met this one guy, he just would not disengage. He followed me around like a puppy, constantly interrupted me while speaking, and generally whined and complained a lot.

>>53570975
>Because you don't get cool boy points when you lie on an anonymous monghol throat singing website.
Oh, but you do!
See, for as common as it is for a lie to be accepted, you must toe the line and agree with the majority, lest you fall out of step!

If a lie is fashionable, why not wear it?

>>53570998
I personally find jews to be hilarious. I don't see why anyone would want to kill them. Well, I mean, a few of em. At the top. But you know, most jews are cool.

>>53571074
I mean, would you spare a jewish child murderer over any other child murderer? Of course not. There have to rules, you know. They aren't exempt from the law. Thats all I'm saying.

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>>53558524
>>53559369

I don't really get the bitching over checking my phone. Fuck you, it's not my turn and I'm not in a bubble. I can still hear what's going on.

I'm just checking my messages in case there's an emergency at home or something work-related.

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>>53571156

If that man were to block my path I would be muchly afraid for my burgers and fries.

>>53571094
I mean, what would a jew do if a jew killed another jew? they would have courts and proceedings, and things like that.

>>53570076
Okay, but I still have a question, and this is true of the explanation of my pic too:

If they don't care about the game or it's world and are happy to watch or listen, then why the insistence on only playing human paladins?
It vexes the rational mind.

>>53571173
There is a special circle in the 9th level of hell..

>>53571232
For maladjusted, anal-retentive cunts who can't handle other people using their phone.

>>53571173
That excuse gets you one free look per 15-20 minutes, that's about it.
Picking up your phone every time it's not your turn gets you a beating.

>>53568320
Couldn't find the screencap in the time alotted.
Here's a link:
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/52565231/#52606048

>>53571156
Thanks for doing this so that I wouldn't have to.
You did a nice job.

>>53571259
>That excuse gets you one free look per 15-20 minutes, that's about it.
Fuck you, you're not the phone police. I'll check it when I receive a message.

>>53571232
Which of the three?

>>53571250

Do you just have some weird compulsion to check your phone every 30 seconds?

like >>53571259 said no one fucking cares if you check everyone once in awhile, but if you're playing on your phone non stop of course people will be annoyed.

>>53571276
>Do you just have some weird compulsion to check your phone every 30 seconds?
Do you have some weird compulsion to pull random, ludicrously short amounts of time out of thin air?

>That guy that won't stop picking his nose and eating the boogers at the table.

>>53571315
>that guy who doesn't even have the decency to eat the boogers before touching the books

>>53571276
>no one fucking cares if you check everyone once in awhile
Actually, some people do get in your face in about .5 seconds whenever you take your phone out.

>"Anon's on his phone! You know what that means! No XP this session!"
Fuck off Kev, you absolute spastic. I just received a work-related e-mail that I need to confirm. It will take all of five seconds and it's not even my turn.

Stop getting off on your own 'righteous' indignation. You're that guy, Kev. You're him.

I suppose it's more of a personal peeve than genuine That Guy behavior, but a dude in my regular group can only think in archetypes and familiar patterns.

To clarify, if he makes a big, brutish character they must be named something like Brute or Joe Clobber or Chuck Punchins. Either a pun, or something that sounds meaningful. The character must also wear a flatcap and suspenders, because that's what tough guys wear.

Recently he made a secret agent type character named Jaime Bondsman and drew a character portrait where he wears a fantasy attire styled after a tuxedo.

It's harmless compared to most That Guys, of course, certainly not bad enough to raise a stink over. I just don't find it particularly fun to GM for characters who feel like they were cut from templates.

>>53571274
Its a special fourth circle no one knows about.

Give me a break, I read Paradise Lost ONCE in a fever dream

>>53571385
>Chuck Punchins
10/10 name, would game with.

>>53571376
Fuck you, we kicked a guy for doing that during my college club. If you are too plugged into whatever you are doing on your phone then your really don't have the focus to be running in a game at the same time.

>>53558524
>that guy who asks if his hard can play [random musical instrument that nobody has heard of] for laughs
if it's actually just for laughs that's cancer, but if it's the hurdy gurdy you're talking about (and I kinda suspect it is, since it's a semi-obscure instrument that would be very sensible for a bard to specialise in) and you're just assuming the intentions, that was a real medieval bard's instrument and is extremely versatile and beautiful both in form and sound. Here's some nice videos with/about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAfS-XgQjc4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4y7HNW972M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DXQ0z9NCl8

>>53571413
It's a fucking game, not neurosurgery. Your group sounds terrible.

>>53563462
You can be favored by the deity but still not give a fuck about it, not worship it or hate your deity.

For example Rincewind from Discworld was favored by the Lady of Luck but hated that, as this put him into crazy shit, again and again.

>>53571385
most characters are derived from templates. Very few characters get a moment all to them self, they have to share it with Robin Hood, Ghengis Khan and every other character that came before them.

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>>53571395
I was talking about the Dante's Divine Comedy.

>>53571447
What treachery he committed for not knowing that.

>>53571430
It was such a problem at UCI campus meets that we had to make a rule, no laptops, cell phones or electronic devices at the table.

Yes, we are monopolizing your time.
No, we won't apologize for it.
We want you to be engaged.

>>53571447
Buddy, I got the book right here on my shelf and it says...

oh, sorry. Point is I read it and highlighted my favorite passage.

>>53571486
"Peace!" he cried,
"Cursed wolf! thy fury inward on thyself
Prey, and consume thee! ..."

>>53571274
Ptolomaea, treachery against friends or guests. There's four rounds in the ninth circle, not three.

>>53571533
spoopy

>>53571533
I think I highlighted my favorite passage from each of the three books, hell, purgatory and heaven. I think that one didn't count.

One was about a being divided against itself, the other was about when the mountain shook and a soul rose up into heaven from purgatory.

>>53571533
sounds game of thronesy

>>53560111
Sad thing... I have a friend like that. Great guy but whenever a female is involved he becomes creepy. For example at London mcm (comic con) he showed me all the pics he made. 90% was of female skimpy cosplayers... 10% power rangers and map...

He also picked up the mlp rp book and I have already told him I won't be touching it with a 10ft bargepole.

>>53571533
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0e01yNFZY4U

>>53571533
I'm sure there were some jokes in there that would have sounded very witty had I been a educated, well read scholar during turn of the century Italian Renascence BC.

Maybe even some good natured ribbing in this regard, placing many of his friends and enlightened people in the first circle.

>>53571272
Then get the fuck out of the game you disrespectful piece of shit.

>>53568301
Is this rage I'm feeling

>>53571719
How about no? I'm perfectly able to play the game, even if I do check my phone for a few seconds every half hour.

>>53559707
This is an imageboard.

>>53571156
hahahahaha

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>>53571920

You are a monster on par with Adolf Hitler or Donald Trump and you should be put to death.

>>53571920
Oh, so now its every 'half an hour' rather than your entitled bitchboy whining about checking it whenever you get a message or whenever you want?

>>53571947
You are suffering from weaponised autism.

If the game requires so much concentration that I can't check my messages, I had better not catch you pouring yourself a drink, getting a snack or going for a piss.

And use a fucking coaster, you troglodyte.

>>53571965
Which is about every half an hour. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Idgaf.

For fuck's sake, curb your autism.

>>53571972

Okay first of all, it's not my responsibility as a guest to use a coaster. If the host cares so much they can waterproof the fucking table.

Second of all, you are literally Satan and I will find a way to cast your evil out of this board.

>>53571991
If you don't give a fuck, you immeasurable faggot, then you're disrespecting your group and your GM. Hopefully they realise how much you fit into a thread like this and kick your piece of shit ass out.

>>53572007
>Okay first of all, it's not my responsibility as a guest to use a coaster. If the host cares so much they can waterproof the fucking table.
I will now disregard everything you say, since you're obviously a degenerate caveman.

>>53572015
I don't give a fuck what my exact average frequency, down to the minute, of receiving messages is.

What the fuck does that have to do with respect for the group?

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>>53572024

Only cucks of the highest caliber use a coaster. I let my condensation touch the wood of the table, as God intended.

>>53572043
Its common fucking courtesy not to check your phone during a game you goddamn Neanderthal.

>>53571719
I agree with this anon >>53571920
There's nothing wrong with flicking to your phone for a few seconds to message someone but if you're just dicking around on it when it's someone else's turn or the group is otherwise working together to figure out something while you're just there or the GM is moving the story forward then you're a cunt.

>>53572057
Go fuck yourself. It doesn't disturb the game in any way and the message could very well be important.

Learn to fucking interact with human beings in the 21st century, you mong.

>>53572007
If it's their house you follow their rules anon.

>>53572075

You sound like a massive faggot Anon.

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Checking your phone when you are at the table with other people, be it eating or gaming, is of uneducated and disrespectful cretins.

If you don't care enough about the people you are with that you prefer to check your phone instead of interacting with us, get the fuck out of the table.

Period.

>>53572050
>cucks
And of course that's your go-to derogatory term.

We have containment boards for a reason. Stay there.

>>53559255

>5e
>That guy that makes a chaotic good paladin
>Plays it like chaotic evil
>No one else in the group bothered with alignment including the DM

5e paladin has no alignment restrictions RAW, but paladins are still implicitly at least Lawful aligned with Good leanings.

>>53572075
If its fucking important then they'll call you, which I'm fine with as a GM. I'm assuming you sit and chat shit with your mates whenever you're eating dinner with your family too? Maybe when you're on a date (as if that'd happen with a piece of social offal like you) you like to talk with your little friends who you can't leave alone for more than a fucking hour?

>>53572103

>I hate 4chan culture

No one cares you cuck, fuck of back to lebbit with the other niggers and fat roasties.

>>53572102
>hurr durr you will give me your full attention at all times or leave the table
You are an entitled faggot.

I have a responsibility to both family and clients to keep an eye on my messages. If checking my phone for barely more time than it takes to roll a single d20 is so much of an issue to you, you are the kind of autist that needs to be contained in a padded fucking room.

>>53572124
>If its fucking important then they'll call you
Which you'll take offense at too, you immeasurable goddamn cunt.

>>53568143
>That guy who insists on giving every character he plays some accent that he does really, really badly
I don't know what you're going on about, that's the greatest joy in roleplaying. If your character doesn't make the cast of Shadow Hearts cringe, you're doing it wrong.

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>>53572143

>d20

>>53572157
Did I fucking say that you illiterate retard?

>>53572143
A few seconds check is no real problem. The problem is when you start lurking internet/instagram/facebook/whatevershit because we are not good enough for your faggot ass.

>>53568301
>ruining player agency by randomly making a huge amount of TIE fighters appear to punish a player for just playing his character
>implying its not you who are That GM

>>53572175
Why the fuck wouldn't you, if phone use is such a massive issue to you underdeveloped degenerate sensibilities?

Now you're being inconsistent as well as an insufferable autist cuntmonger.

>>53572102
Question.

If in the campaign the group fights a medusa and one of the guys gets petrified in round 2, will you still hate them if they check their phone or read the rulebook when you aren't interacting with them?

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I fucking hate the current game I'm in.

There are four players, myself included.

Most of the players always make the same character archetype.

Player 1 is a girl who always makes a character with a tragic past and always has some PTSD issues.
She always finds a way to have beef with a friendly NPC and ends up trying to kill them or some innocent townspeople for literally no goddamn reason.


Player 2 is a huge fucking edge lord who doesn't understand human interactions.
His characters are always gothic and are either a Teifling barbarian or a necromancer or a mix of the two.
Due to his lack at understanding social interactions, he is absolutely atrocious at role playing as he mostly ends up playing as himself rather than his character. This is extremely annoying, especially due to the fact that he overreacts at very small changes or when he can't understand something and literally screams like a fucking banshee (both irl and in game)


Player 3 is my roommate. He's a nice guy, but holy shit is he the worst offender of backseat DMing.
Thankfully he's started to improve after I brought it up to him.

The DM is a pretty cool guy that I've known for most of my life - unfortunately he has an awful sense of humour.

His games are tainted with references to memes, anime, and Rick and Morty.

Because of this, I made myself a bingo game based on all the horrible shit I go through during some of these games that I fill out between turns.

Last week however, my DM saw me filling it out and asked what I was doing.

Now that he's found out, everyone thinks I was doing it out of jest and it's now another meme that I can no long enjoy.

>>53572176

Fuck you, it's my fucking time if I need to browse some anal vore between rounds I can do it if I want you basement dwelling fuck.

>>53572176
>The problem is when you start lurking internet/instagram/facebook/whatevershit because we are not good enough for your faggot ass.
That's nice. It's not what we're talking about, but it's nice.

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>"It's what my character would do"

>>53571385
I would love to play with Jamie Bondsman

>>53572208
>
Because of this, I made myself a bingo game based on all the horrible shit I go through during some of these games that I fill out between turns.

Hold up, you're doing something other than paying absolute attention to the game in between turns?

Massive autism incoming.

>>53572106
>but paladins are still implicitly at least Lawful aligned with Good leanings
Nope
Vengeance is definitely geared towards CG.
Oath of Crown is definitely leaning towards LN, conquest towards LE, Redemption towards NG, Oathbreaker towards NE/CE, and treachery towards CE/whatever the fuck you want it to be.

>>53572127

That's board specific culture, you just refuse to keep it on >>>/mlp/ where it belongs.

>>53572436

>I decide what is board culture

You have autism cuck, neck yourself.

>>53572197
>Inconsistent

>>53572124
>Which I'm fine with as a GM.

Learn to read you fucking cunt.

>>53572202
Yes, you are playing a game with people, you should pay attention to what is happening even if you are not allowed to do anything.

>that guy who only plays face classes
>that guy who builds only faces but cant play them because he's autistic

>>53572224
You probably didnt realize it but you also look like a tool.
>>53571272
>>53571259
SO fucking contradicting. and such an unneccesary loaded discussion about nothing at all.

>>53572595
I'm that guy far too often

I just want to be able to play out my power fantasy occasionally like someone else gets to play out their 'big dude with a massive sword' power fantasy. Hell, I'm not that bad if I get to describe what I want to do, I just freeze when I have to have an exact wording, and then either the GM moves on, or other players jump in before I actually have a chance to say anything.

>>53572102
Alright quick question. Let's say I have a different notification tone for work related messages than I do for regular ones. Would it be alright for me to check only when I hear the work related tone?

>>53572901
If you explained that, yeah. Entirely.

>>53572901
>Getting work related messages
>After work
Move to first world country mate.

>>53572952
Maybe you should get a job with more responsibility than just working a deep fryer.

>>53572901
That's ok.
This is not ok >>53572176

>>53559353
is this a common enough thing? I think it's happening in my campaign.

>>53572976
Responsibility is key. Once you get into a career with some actual responsibility, or have a child you're responsible for, you change your tune re: being reachable at all times pretty fast.

I wouldn't expect an autistic basement dweller living off neetbuxx and tendies to understand, tho.

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>>53559353
>texts on her phone the whole time

>>53559255
These aren't a problem if they don't mess with the party or act smart.

You can play an evil character but have personal favorite people you don't want to mess with.

>>53558524
>new to rpg Friends all playing 5e
>be DM
>They have a running joke to threaten eachother with rape; "What's your Strength, Dex and Con?"
>Party is being introduced to their "guild"
>"Ah well I haven't made a female character yet; how about the armorer is a female Human"
>"I shove my tail in her ass"
>Everyone has some form of rape formulated
>Shout "You guys are a bunch of fucking rapists"
>we all laugh and it never happens again

Not too bad, but we get pretty derailed sometimes and it can be pretty rough

>>53559719
Is this bad though? I mean this just seems like a playstyle.

>>53560070
Yeah like I can live with someone who bumbles and doesn't get all their material but if they're salty when that has consequences that's just dumb.

>>53559869
This sounds fine desu. I mean why not roleplay a character who apprenticed under one career but really wanted a different life?

>>53558524
>>that guy who brings his girlfriend
i always hate this guy

>>53568831
>look at this person and laugh

>>53558524
>>that guy who asks if his hard can play [random musical instrument that nobody has heard of] for laughs

ihatefun.jpg

>>53560140
Yeah I really don't see this as a problem in 2017. Tabletop games are getting more and more popular and more and more I see couples playing these games together.

>>53563989
>It's fine to have flaws! Fuck.
People have enough of those in real life, bro

>>53560140
If you are prepared to wreck the shit out of her if necessary, then I don't see the problem. It requires you both being mentally stable adulst shough, so usually that's a too high bar for people's gfs here

>>53570309
I like to give characters a southern drawl.
I once did it so well I got my GM to subconsciously use his latent Texan accent. which he hates.

>>53560153
Lol with that first line I thought this was talking about a guy who doesn't do anything beyond playing D&D and felt personally attacked.

>>53558524
>that guy who brings his girlfriend

Roleplaying Pepe Lepew sounds like a riot.

>>53564406
>never fucking shuts up about sneak attack damage

Sounds like he's asking for a sneak attack

>>53564549
We just say their characters are off somewhere and continue playing usually.

>>53572766
>SO fucking contradicting. and such an unneccesary loaded discussion about nothing at all.
What was contradicting?

>>53559727
>that guy who barely read the rules but tries to munchkin/min-max anyway without understanding what he's doing
>in a beta test where you need to actually be testing the rules

>>53566157
I don't see how that makes turns take longer, does he just not think about his turn at all?
I do this but only after I've got a basic plan layed out.

Then again I don't usually play magic heavy classes so..

>>53566157
I'm ok with ppl being on phones while some fighter rolls 4 dice over and over.

The other stuff sucks.

>>53559255
>>That guy who makes a paladin for an evil party

Pretty sure that was LITERALLY the plot of the last D&D movie.

>>53567806
This with any book desu.

Book benders must burn.

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>>53572106
> didn't even check the sheet to see what god the PC worships

>>53559343
Objectivism
everything you do is lawful good unless you violate the NAP

>>53572519
but then the character can't see, hear, or in any way interact with what's going on so me as a player knowing this would be useless and metagaming if I used any of the knowledge of what happens during.

>>53572143
>I have a responsibility to both family
I think they can wait for a few hours, what's the worst that can happen ?

>>53560064
>that guy who specs out on sneak attack and assassinate, doesn't spend every last single gold getting stuffs for better initiative bonuses so they can go first.
>that guy who plays rogue and never used poisons when the GM literally has creatures that two shot a raged barbarian dwarf with poison damage. After the groups cleric and bard harvest it off the corpse for them

This happened, and it wasn't even the last poision creature, bard and cleric eventually sold all they gathered and made a nice profit giving it to a healer to make "anti-venom" potions.

>>53574012
If that is seriously your attitude, that games are more important than family and work, I'd find other friends because clearly your life values are incompatible with mine. Life your life how you like but don't expect me to respect you for it.

>>53564321
Why play the game if you can't actually PLAY the game? Go act in a community stage show if all you can do is roleplay. You don't have to know everything but you should know enough about the game not to have to grind the game to a halt just for your sake

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>All these people sperging out about laptop and phone
>mfw I GM flawlessly while alt-tabbing on my laptop
>inb4 "your players noticed and your game is shit"

>>53574151
I don't know, those sure are valuable things but if I get a call or a message during game I just ignore it.
Unless its really important enough that they call or message a second time in a short delay.
You gotta make people understand "I'm busy" ain't just an expression, otherwise you live your life constantly on the string, and that's not good if you want to leave past 60

>>53574012
Perhaps your family would be happy if you were completely out of contact for a few hours because you feel like rolling dice and you value that more than them being able to contact you.

I respect my family a bit more than that and accept if something serious were to happen I'd put that ahead of playing a fucking game. All my friends hold similar opinions - putting food on the table, not getting fired and family are all more important to them than hobbies, so if work or family stuff gets in the way we accept it as a shame and deal with it.

If you want to punish me for that, go fuck yourself. But I respect my family enough, and they respect me enough, to only contact me when I'm out if it's something serious that can't wait a few hours.

>>53574218
Trust is a valuable thing, I trust others not to contact me if they know I'm out unless it can't wait. I'd only be called if it was something urgent so kindly fuck off with telling me to ignore my family.

>>53572143

You're not at work, unless it's a goddamn emergency it can wait. You need to do better establishing boundaries and standing up to your boss.

Or you work such a high pressure and life-consuming job that you can't maintain a social life and should stop disrupting others'.

>>53571385
Fantasy James bond sounds fun

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>>53572976
>getting cucked out of your free time this bad

unless there's literal lives on the line (EMTs, etc.) you have no excuse for being such a slave that you're never actually off the clock

>>53574232
>if something serious were to happen I'd put that ahead of playing a fucking game.
and thank you for proving my point
>>53574261
good for you
Sadly people around me aren't this understanding

>>53559869
I did that, except I lied to sell people fake potions.

>>53574271
>TFW the guy calling/msging is a dumbass and your screening to see if its a problem you need to leave for or of they just need to apply themselves some more.

>>53567970
has someone explained what lg means to him?

>>53571385

This guy sounds fucking rad, one of my first characters was a re-fluffed ruffian of a monk that used fisticuffs, and he had a name and outfit just like that.

>>53570309
Yeah like people shouldn't be punished for trying. Doing an accent is something at least.

>>53568143
Accents are great. One of my fav campaigns was with a guy doing a Swedish Chef accent.

>>53558524

This guy would be far more asthetic if you turned his face upside down so that his beard was his hair and his hair was his beard.

>>53568465
What has he said when you bring it up?

>>53574287
There is big difference between answering important phone that may be an emergency call and checking your phone constantly or treating question "what brand of milk we will have for breakfast" as emergency.

If it is really important non autist will understand, and fuck autistic fucks.

If it is excuse to check phone without real need for it, then you all fuckers need to learn some good old schooled etiquette.

>>53574456
>If it is really important non autist will understand, and fuck autistic fucks.
>If it is excuse to check phone without real need for it
Yeah I think we pretty much all agree on this

That guy who tried to talk another pc into necrophilia

That guy was me

>>53574200
Man, I played DOOM all the while we were having our session

Everything was fine. They're just having ONE bad experience and they're ranting now.

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>>53572106
>That guy who plays 5e

>>53559302
>my cleric isn't really that into their religion
I can't tell you how many fucking times this has happened

>>53574797
Well there are priests who question their faith or lean on disliking organized religion.

Since gods in D&D are for sure real it could be something more like disliking the policies of the gods while still trying to exploit their favor.

>>53559719
Rogueanon reporting in
I've played a STR rogue that didn't steal pick locks or climb things, but he does stealth, and he never once calls himself a thief, he's a former bodyguard for a crime syndicate and an ex-con trying to go straight, but he can still fuck some shit up with his giant fucking hammer sneak attacks.

>>53559343
Your powers only work if you don't expect them to.

>>53574432

Rick? Was that Brads superhero campaign?

>>53559707
Welcome to 4chan.

>>53575100
Nah some guy playing a D&D ranger. A superhero with that voice sounds rad though.

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>>53575120
Just had to give him (you)s.

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>>53571947
Fun fact: the literal meaning of "Allahu Ackbar" is "God is the biggest"

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>>53558524
I didn't think the >that guy who asks to Fuck every female NPC would actually exist but it's literally happening right now in my campaign. The autist doesn't act like a chad either, he acts like a huge white-knight beta spouting shit like "My fair lady would you perchance be willing to have dinner with me?" TO EVERY FEMALE NPC. I can tell the DM is weirded out by it and everyone finds it cringey as fuck but since this is a new group no one is open to talking about it. There's an edgelord I thought was going to be bad but fuck me he's fine compared to this retard.

>>53575280
Also the white-knights character is a street urchin who was kicked onto the streets for being unruly. Why would he act so formal? I feel like just finding another group desu.

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>>53572196
>>ruining player agency by randomly making a huge amount of TIE fighters appear to punish a player for just playing his character
>just playing his character

>>53574280
>t.minimum wage faggot

>>53574280
What if you work by yourself for yourself and each unattended client means less money earned?

>>53571413
t. dumb neet with no work responsibilities

>that guy who's on the phone during other players' turns
>not that DM who lets turns drag out so long that everyone gets bored and goes into their phones

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>>53568301
I think the text is the most offensive part of the story.

>>53571481
Your group still sounds like shit. Checking my phone to see if the message I got means I have to rush to work because of an emergency is completely reasonable and the only people who could possibly think otherwise are spastic, self important college students who genuinely believe that a game of DnD takes precedence over any of our lives.

>>53559681
>point buy

You're all Those Guys but especially the DM.

>>53573450
>a bunch of autists have mentally unstable partners

What a mystery indeed.

>>53567218
He just doesn't have very good genetics.

>>53572196
>that's just what my character would do!
>okay fine, and this is what every other character would do in response to that

>>53565462
>he drug her there
Can you really call her his girlfriend then?

>>53568320
At least you know you have a pussy-wetting voice eh.

>>53560069
>tfw you get the reverse of this when you play
i just wanna fucking relax sometimes

>>53571179
This would work if not for the fact that American burgers are tiny pieces of shit that couldn't feed a child.
Seriously I bet I can eat 6-8 cheeseburgers from McDicks just to feel sated and I'm nowhere near a big man

>>53560817
>If you sit at a table with three clones of Hitler you're literally worse than them

>>53577255
>McDonalds is indicative of all American hamburgers

>>53572043
>Idon't give a fuck what my exact average frequency, down to the minute, of receiving messages is.

What the fuck does that have to do with respect for the other people in the movie theater?

>>53574556
Stop molesting animals and children and end yourself, pf playing weebshit.

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>>53577255
Mcdonalds is obviously global and shit

Local restaurants are best

>>53571481
You are fully and unquestionably in the right.

>That GM that makes an entire campaign change at will just to torment a specific player at their leisure just for laughs
>That Guy that does disgusting and/or memey shit in character, then tries to take it back when everyone looks at him like the idiot he is
>That Guy that tries to rape/murder another party member because they can
>That Guy that won't shut the fuck up about how much they know about the game lore, then tries to interject it on a character that would in no way know the same information

All of these, I have been subjected to. Some in the same campaigns.
The first was also the GM's magical realm.

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>>53566157
I don't see the issue

>>53571481
People who look at their ohone for any reason while playing TTRPG's should just get the fuck right out of the hobby.

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>>53577616

>>53559815
are you me?

>>53573684
They dont even look at the map at all until their turn, and don't plan a turn at all until their turn starts.
To be fair, I brought it up to them, and things go smoother now

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>>53577346
>That guy who thinks only 3.PF players hate 5e

Our that guy is mild, we like him, he's a nice guy. But he can't remember rules for shit. Even basic ones, we have to re-explain everything almost every single roll and we have been forever. He eventually gets it but it takes literally months of playing in one system and if we switch systems its back to square one (even with the system he figured out before).

He's also one of those guys who refuses to believe he can do math, even basic simple math. As a result when called upon to do the basic and simple math that the majority of systems requires (like fucking addition with single and double digit numbers) he first goes "I can't do math" then goes "I don't know *number that's not even close*?" It's frustrating as hell because its not like he's mentally retarded or anything, he just refuses to understand math SO hard that he bombs even kindergarten level math.

>>53578071
Keep posting your pedophile cartoons mate you're really making me consider your arguments.

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>>53578165
>That guy who posts on 4chan and hates anime

>>53578073
>he just refuses to understand math SO hard that he bombs even kindergarten level math

People like this piss me off so much. Working with technology, I see them all the god damn time. People whose literal livelihood depends on being able to use a computer and they haven't learned the difference between left and right click because "computers are beyond them".

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>>53572106
>5e paladin = Lawful aligned with Good leanings.

Bullshit. Paladins are champions of their chosen deity. Deus vult motherfucker. Be it for Ilmater, Myrkul, or anyone on between. Your zeal and faith in your god is why their blessings rain down upon you like a torrent, and you rise above the challenges of life and drown your foes in their own doubt.

So I don't give much of a shit about people who use the devil lettuce. Not my thing but go ahead and enjoy yourself.

I can't fucking stand when people get high at game. Not just smoking a bit once or twice and then playing, I mean getting absolutely baked and staying that way for a whole 4-5 hour game session.

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>>53578181
>that guy who thinks a Taiwanese kickboxing forum is just for animuz

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>>53578387
>That guy who unironically plays D&D and hates anime on /tg/

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>>53578387
>that guy who thinks 4chan isn't an anime site made by a weeaboo for weeaboos based on a weeaboo site and all of the boards are for weeaboos to have discussions

>>53573202
>tail
You a furry?

>>53573202
>it can be pretty rough
the rape?

>>53560564

Different guy here.

I don't think having a min/maxed character is ever innately bad. There are plenty of good characters in fiction that are super binary in terms of what they can/can't do.

The problem arises when the character and the stat-line don't meet halfway, and the player offers no explanation/roleplay to justify why their characters' actions/traits.

As long as the player knows the strengths and weaknesses of their character and plays *both* of them out whenever possible, I don't see a problem.