>playing your friday night rpg game with friends >dad walks

>y-yeah please shut the door when you leave

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UH AKSHUALLY FATHER THIS IS A 'FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAME', OR AS I PREFER TO CALL IT, AHUH, A 'PLAYER-DRIVEN NARRATIVE SIMULATION', AND THERE IS NO PER-SE 'WINNING' AS THE GOAL IS TO CREATE AND EXPLORE OUR FICTIONAL REALMS TOGETHER, HOWEVER IN THE CONTEXT OF

>>53220318
>where'd you put my weed?

>>53220318
Holy shit, you're alive! ;_;

>>53220318

>"yeah, all of the PCs are nearly dead."

>>53220318
"Where's the back child support you still owe mom?"

>Y-you too

>>53220318
>Dad drives 45mins just to visit.

Fuck, I'd pause the game and get the old man a beer.

Also, we play war games on Friday, not rpgs.

>>53220318
Yes.

Because RPGs can be won or lost.

>>53220318
>"It's not about winning, dad, it's about fun!"

>>53220318
I'm the GM, dad. You can't possibly lose harder than that.

"Yeah dad, I just rescued this fair maiden and she promised to give me a kiss after she visits Prince Charming. Something about helping him out of his armor, that dumb meathead"

>>53220998
I laughed.

"Yeah dad, we're kicking a tribe of Orcs in the ass"
"What's an Orc?
"They're like niggers, but 7 feet tall and pretty strong"
"Hah, fuck them up good then. By the way, you guys want some beer?"

>>53220998
As a GM, having the PCs all survive the fight while being nearly dead is what I usually aim for.

"Not yet."
>pull up a chair for him, and get him a beer
"Now we are."

>>53220318
>After 10 years of absence and silence, you decide to show up now? No, you can wait at Mom's house and we can have this gut-wrenching conversation in the morning.

>>53220318
Dad, what are you doing here? This place is more than an hour away from your apartment.

How did you even know we were here? I moved out years ago and have never told you where I play games. You can barely remember my birthday, much less where my friends live.

We don't even play games on fridays usually.

I just.. Fuck it, you want a beer dad?

>>53220318
He plays more often than I do nowadays, why would he ask me that question?

>>53220318
You're late and play the cleric.
So no, no we're not.

>>53220318
Dad why are you black?

>>53220408
I'm sorry, Anon. I know that feel.

>>53220318
"Yep! Just like in Zelda back in the day!"

>>53220318
>Who the fuck are you?
>DAD, THERE'S A BLACK GUY IN MY ROOM!"

>>53220318
>"Nah, the boardgame night is tomorrow. Today I'm GMing. Hey, one of our players couldn't make it, wanna fill in?"

I literally learnt english reading his rpg manuals (though it's not my native tongue). He used to master games for his friends, my mother included, before I was born. He let me hoard his books for far longer than should be accepted, we often talk about this or that system together, and he sends me pdfs when he gets some. Despite still collecting rpgs, he hasn't played in an eternity, since he lacks time. I've never played with him, but... dammit, I should, now. I already had my mother as a player once. It was fun.

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>>53220397

>>53220408
This

>>53220318
"...I'm sorry I didn't visit your grave lately, dad."

this thread is sadder than i expected.

>>53221391
You cutie!
∧__∧
(｀•ω• )づ__∧
(つ /( >ω<。)

My dad has a letter published in the first issue of Dungeon magazine. He'd probably be the DM

"You're the DM, why are you late?"

>>53221185
I feel ya

How did you even GET HERE?

>>53220318
Yeah Dad, thanks!

That'd be nice.

>>53220318
>"No we're playing an RPG"
>"Ah, cool. I still remember my half-elf from AD&D."

>>53220318
"Well I just stabbed a werewolf in the face, so yeah I'm winning"

>In my last Exalted game I got into a fight with a Wolf-totem Lunar

>>53221317
>What's an Orc
How does your dad not know what an Orc is? Even normies know what Orcs are after the LotR movies were popular.

>>53220318
freak out because my Dad died 15 years ago

>>53220318
"I'm the referee."

>>53220318
Dad, I haven't felt like I've won anything since you left. To be honest I'd give everything I have right now if you could wake me up tomorrow in the morning to go bike riding like we used to. I miss you dad.

Dad why are you black?

>>53220318
I'd be surprised that he's actually wanting to see me again.

>>53226944
>never told his kid he's a lich

Pretty irresponsible

>last video was in Nov 2016
>People pay him over 700 dollars a month on patreon

Fucking bullshit, man.

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>>53220318
I don't know. Probably I'd say, where have you been for the last three years? Why'd you just leave?

>>53227215
wat?

>>53220318
>He'll yeah I'm winnin'!

>>53227294
I think that was supposed to be posted in the Spoony thread

>>53220318
Stop teasing me, dad! You know it's not a game about winning!

"it's Friday night, and I'm playing Dungeons and Dragons. What part of that sounds like 'winner' to you?"

>>53227338
>Engaging in a social activity with 3-6 other friends, likely with drinks and misc. confections

I mean, that's sounds like winning to me Anon. You rather be at the office?

I'm surrounded by 4 guys with swords. I'm blinded, bleeding, broken, and have nothing left but a knife... yeah, I think I got this.

>>53220318
Nah, see, it's less of a competitive type of thing and more like a collaborative storytelling type of thing. Winning isn't really a relevant concept.

>>53220318
I'm the DM, and all my players are spending half their time thinking of how to backstab each other cause they're paranoid as fuck, even though they have to work together, so yeah, I'd say I'm winning

>>53220318
>Dad what the fuck are you doing here you live three states away and Skype is a thing, also get a haircut you look like a hippie and not in a cool way, also I'm tired of paying for your cell phone

>>53220408
this

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"Quit fucking around and sit down, we all want the Doritos and it's your turn to hit this fucking Dragon."

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Dad, get out of here before the DM kills you to give my character motivation for his stupid railroad.

>>53220318
who the fuck did cast resurrection on you?

>>53220318
how come my mother's husband is black?

>>53220318
>Chuck please fuck off and go look after the other four kids you have that are still in elementary school, as opposed to driving 3 hours out of the way to my friend's house to ask me stupid questions

>>53228953
Alternatively
>fuck off Chuck, you still owe me $300 from last june

>>53220318

I HAVE NO FATHER!

>>53220318
Im mexican so he would likely be too drunk to care

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>>53221230

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>>53231487
"I'm Zorro, dad!"

"*Hic* Okay son. I was just on my way to bed."

*He passes out on my bed*

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>>53220408
I can only hope that I'm this humorous about it when it hits me.

>>53223598
Gee anon, it almost like people who frequent a board predominantly about escaping their normal life on a website dedicated to anonymity where they can for a brief time forget who they are might have some degree of sadness.

Really makes you think. Maybe you should try.

>>53221529
You should see a psychologist, anon.

>>53227393
His media brainwashed brain probably thinks that he should be at a night club trying to seduce whores instead of chilling with his bros.

>>53220318

I assume he's "joking", and hand him a beer.

My dad taught me to play D&D you idiot.

>"Heck yeah! Thanks pepep!"
*give him two thumbs up*

>>53220318
jokes on you: i have no friends & haven't spoken to my father in months.

>>53220318
H-how did you find this place?

>>53227130
Your mother is into weird shit anon.

"I guess so, but we don't really know who wins until the end."

>>53220318
This is 3.5 and Im playing a Focused Specialist Conjurer, what do you think, dad?

Rolled 4, 1 = 5 (2d6)

Take a long look at him
Say "There is not winner at this game, there is only end to everyone. Pops, you know what game it is? Life."
Take a look at the floor
Sigh
Start crying and drinking vodka.

>>53220318

"Dad, it's 2 in the morning, what're you doing up this late?"

>>53220318
What do you mean am i winning? It's your turn in combat! Fuck are you having another stroke?

>>53220318
I work with my father and whenever he walks in on me or one of my coworkers talking about anime he'll always use some corny lines trying to act like he knows what we were talking about.

Same protocol for this, just humor him. See if he needs anything. Than resume our topic when he's gone.

>>53220408
This desu.

>>53220318
>"Nah, this ogre is kicking our ass. Do you still have the stat sheet for your dwarf fighter? We could use some more damage!"

My dad got me into table top RPGs. Some kids grow up with bedtime stories from books, or from folk tales. I grew up with the adventures of Rorgrim Feldenhammer, the dwarven chainsaw. Together with his band of borderline sociopathic friends, they slew kobold gods and king kong.

He was the DM for my first D&D game, and still talks to me about it even though he doesn't play anymore.

>>53234985

That sounds fucking awesome.

>>53220318
>"Sorta, kinda hard to explain. Having a good time though! Want some chips?"

>>53220318
>Yes. Can you finally be proud of me, dad? Can you finally acknowledge me as your son, you whoremongering son of a alcoholic bitch?! AM I FINALLY COOL!?

"I'm having a weekend off, playing something I enjoy with a close group of friends after dining together, and you decided to randomly show up at my place, so yes, id say I am winning. Wanna have a beer too?"