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So let's say you wake up in a shallow grave and discover

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So let's say you wake up in a shallow grave and discover you're a long-dead skeleton who's revived magically, and you still have your free will and memories intact.

What would you do? How would you react?
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I am going to go back to sleep.
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>>52938837
Try to yell and fail.

Pissed off.
>>
I'd bust out, casually walk into town and do the robot in town square. When someone walks withing two feet of me, I collapse into a pile. Once they take a couple steps back, reform and go about my business. This would continue until I am either destroyed or they try to watch me out of curiosity. If I am not destroyed, I use the attention this attracts in order to communicate with a larger audience via television broadcasts.

Then once the whole nation is gripped in dancing skeleton mania, I hold a skeleton press conference revealing something terribly inane and boring. Like a public service announcement only more lame. Maybe I explain the mating cycle of certain species of preying mantis. Maybe I sell the brand of toothpaste that first pops into my head.

The whole point of this is to see just how much time I can waste for other people
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>>52938880
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>>52938837
I'll drink lotsa milk for strong bones.
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>>52938837
DANCE!
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>>52938880
>Like a public service announcement only more lame
Spend three hours talking about some dumb nerd shit that only you would care about, and the world will have to listen to it all because you're a skeleton.
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Question. If I'm a newly arisen skeleton, is there a necromancer or a lich nearby? Can I try and find anybody I know in their hoard?
inquisitiveskeleton.jpeg
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>>52938837
Other than the obvious "spook the shit out of people for funsies"? Other than that, probably try to find a solution to this conundrum or just do a Skullduggery Pleasant sans magic and walk around in a disguise.
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>>52938837
Assuming I am no longer constrained to mortal limits, inform the public that I am going to swim across the Atlantic Ocean.

I will then do so by walking along the bottom of the ocean, as nothing can truly stop me down there as a Skeleton.
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>>52941759
Wouldn't that take years and be extremely boring?
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>>52941816
Yes, but it will scare the fuck out of some Spaniard beach goers.
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>>52941759
But what about the rough tides and magma valleys between tectonic plates, anon? You could wear work boots or something for the tides but you need some boot to walk on magma.
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>>52941937
I'm a fucking skeleton held together by magic. If some current pulls away an arm I'll just pull it back. And what does it matter if my feet get a little hot? I can avoid stepping in lava.
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>>52941669
Does that mean you'll be a detective?
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Like, it's literally me? Am I in a fantasy world or the real world? If I'm here, I guess I have no physical needs, so I don't want sex or food or water. I'd use the skeleton shit to get celeb bux, then spend most of my time indoors on the internet, writing, drawing, reading. Going to my local game store, somewhere where they get used to me. Play tabletop games. You know. Might be cool.
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>>52942149
Now I want to see a skeleton playing D&D in a game store while everyone desperately tries and fails to not look at all concerned by its presence.
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>>52942311
I'd be like a mascot, it'd be chill.
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>>52942435
Holy shit, /tg/ has been without a good mascot for a long fucking time.

Someone get to a drawthread and in the meantime, what should the skeleton's name be?
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>>52942486
I mean, my name's Robby, I dunno if that's cool or not
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>>52938837
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>>52942622
Robby the Skeleton, sure why not.
What does Robby the Skeleton do?
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>>52942672
Plays human fighters and blaster wizards and does MtG drafts, but is really bad and always changes color halfway through.
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the same shit I do now, except I'd have a patreon and go on TV shows and not have to worry about my appearance or eating or shitting

thinking on it, I'd much rather be a magic skeleton desu
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>>52938837
I'd go spook the shit out of people
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>>52938837
Well, I havent been taken to heaven yet, so God still has a job for me to do.

Skelepaladin AWAY!!!
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>>52938837
Place a craigslist ad for goth chicks to bone an IRL skellington/hire myself out to hang around your halloween party
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>>52938837

>Long dead

So does that mean I've woken up in a dystopian future where the only man who can save humanity from the hell they created is a skeleton?
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>Get a bunch of rags to cover myself so I can walk among the living without people seeing I'm a spooky skeleton
>Walk into a bar
>Order ale
>Drink ale
>It falls out of me because no stomach or skin
>The African bartender goes OH SHIT YOU ARE A SKELETON, YOU FUCKING FREAK
>Reply: Well at least I'm not a nig!
>Play my ribcage like a xylophone and walk out
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In fantasy land? Wrap myself in rags to pad out my profile, and then cover myself in concealing armor. Undead silent knight who can only communicate with gestures. We dark souls now. Time to deal with problems too dangerous for the living.

Modern day me? Get a job in webservices. On the internet, no one knows you are just a skeleton.
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Im going Hollywood, babe. Im a real life walking skeleton. You cant fake that authenticity. Ill be typecast in my role as 'skeleton who does his own stunts' but that never goes out of style. And who could they even cast to replace me? Gal Gadot?

As if. Im going to be famous!
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>>52938837
Probably go to the middle east, dress up as the reaper, and scare the shit out of ISIS while beheading Jihadis left and right.

Also get lots of candy on Halloween.
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>>52938837
IRL? Fucking easy.
Raise an army and fight ISIS. Who the fuck is going to deny a skeleton? Who the fuck would try to FIGHT a skeleton? Once ISIS is dead, I'd probably rent myself out as a living prop to haunted houses or Hollywood movies. At some point I'd have to learn to play myself like an instrument, too, just for shits and giggles.
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>>52942722
Someone draws robby please
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>>52949070
>Who the fuck is going to deny a skeleton? Who the fuck would try to FIGHT a skeleton?
There is some really great opportunities here to get a cult following for yourself. As far as everyone else is concerned, you could be the Angel of Death, or a god, or something similar.
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>>52938837
I'd paint myself and cosplay as a necron
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>>52950803
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>>52938837
I'd pick a kid at the nearest elementary school and become his wise-cracking imaginary friend. Like, make sure that only he ever sees me, help him with homework, and just be a good buddy to him. We'll get into some wacky shenanigans as his parents are confused as to who is drinking all the milk in the house and I help to scare his bully at the Halloween party with my spooky skeleton ways. Once we've gone on a life-affirming journey together and helped to save the local community center, I tell him that I have to move on. I know he'll be sad, but I'll point to his chest and tell him that I'll always be with him, in there. Then I'll tie myself to a bunch of helium balloons and float away into the distance. It'll be poignant, but charming.

I will call myself Joshteoperosis.
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>>52941759
Would the water pressure not crush your bones?
And how would you even see in the pitch black depts of the ocean?
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>>52938853
fbpb
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If im in the 18th century team up with some grave robbers and scam med schools. They sell me, i lay still for a day or two, then jaunt on out in the middle of the night. Repeat and earn loads of dosh.

Alternately
> hide out in abandoned buildings spooking urban explorers
>become a skelebrity
>set up a theme park with a real life mr bones wild ride
>Get someone to cast me into a sex doll for some wealthy shut in
>hitch a ride on a rocket and live on the moon
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>>52949763
I'm trying anon.
>>52943433
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>>52950959
That's beautiful.
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>>52938837
Anyone at first would freak out, even if for a little bit, which would be followed by carefully choosing my next course of action. If it happens in our world I would try to find some clothes/rags to completely cover myself and learn as much as possible about the time line I've been revived in and past events after which I would enjoy my new immortality. If it's a dark souls world then that's a whole different case. I would try to learn as much magic as possible and leave that world/country or wherever that setting was. Who would want to ''live'' in a world that's permanently in a zombie state, without any progress, that's continuously repeating every few years?
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>>52938837
Go on a quest to link the first fire, obviously.
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Well I've already told my friend a skeleton joke so much he turns red with rage whenever I say "Whats a skeletons..." So I would probably go wake him up in the middle of the night then tell him that joke. After that, set up one of those old fortune teller mystic lady machines but its me, a skeleton, giving life advice.
Thread posts: 47
Thread images: 9


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