What's the best place to hide a Phylactery? What makes the

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>>52932933
THE WHOLE WORLD

>>52932933
A wedding ring, a prosthetic limb, best friends weapon, armour etc, glasses, the character's tombstone, a pole in a strip club/whorehouse.

Anything that isn't glass or wood.

>>52932933
Attach to brick, toss in ocean. Cheap, discrete, hard to find and hard to get to.

And when you FINALLY FINISH REGENERATING, you can just walk back to shore.

Note, this only works if off the continental shelf. Otherwise any fisher could stumble off of it.

>>52932933

A stone in a the Great Wall or any bigass stone building of your setting, appearing exactly like the others.

(the lich or whatever just needs to reminds that it is under the 1934 tower from east, third row, etc.)

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>>52932933
Inside an innocent child, who also happens to be my apprentice and heir.

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>>52933432
>apprentice of a lich
>innocent

>>52932996
Fpbp

>>52932933
Inside another lich. You're also their phylactery. You set up shop as far away from each other as possible, and get to visit eachother whenever some adventurers defeat one of you.
Someone post it, I lost it.

>>52932933
Go full Aumvor's and have more than one.

Make it "a random 3/4 of humankind".

>>52932933
An -allegedly- sacred relic kept inside a sealed tomb at the [vatican]. Even uttering the idea of destroying it will have every holy warrior in the country on you like a horny priest.

A book on how to create magical weapons.

>>52932933
In a magical necklace that's
a) the royal symbol of authority.
b)keeping the kings only heir alive.

Inside a needle, which is in an egg, which is in a duck, which is in a hare, which is in an iron chest, which is buried under a green oak tree, which is on the island of Buyan in the ocean.

Remember, a Phylactory costs mad cash to make. Its made out of rare and exceptional materials and is likely blinged to hell and back. Its not something you could pass off as something mundane.

Do what my lich did: make the motherfucking MOON your phylactery. If someone complains, what are they gonna do? Pull a Piccolo?

+A tree with the writing etched in. Force a druid to awaken tree as ent. It will be a good/ neutral alignment and will live many years.

Black Hole.

>>52932933

Normal fancy box will do.
Placed at Lagrange 2 with a backup spellbook.

>>52933946
AYYYYYY Slavic Mythology
>>52933662
This is the best one lets be honest

>>52933967
*phones skaven*

>>52934024
That's gotta have some cool effects.

>>52932933
THE MOON

make it out of an elf skull, polymorph that elf permanently into an actual elf, teach that elf magic so that they can become a lich and make their Phylacteryan elven skull too.

the best Phylactery is another liche

>>52932933
How to become the perfect lich.

Fake your own death
Make your phylactery something personal
Enchant it into not detecting as magic
Have it buried with "you"
Assume a new name as a lich

>>52932933
Blood. As in, a bloodline. Give it a few hundred years and the party will have to kill a whole country just to kill you.

>>52932933
Lotta people in this thread having great ideas, but what are some good/neutral versions of these?

Like a lich who binds his soul to, I don't know, the love of his soul mate. Or a more trolly lich who binds it to some kind of riddle-spell that would fuck over whoever solved it.

Create a cavity in the earth with no entrance. Line it with walls of force. One of the few ways to enter is to have been there before and teleport in.

>>52933719
I would kill someone if they tried to desecrate the tomb of saint peter. It checks out.

>>52933514
>>52933432
I'm more bothered by the "inside" bit

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>>52935773
I think what I said earlier in >>52933432 is pretty neutral. It grants you great protection from Paladins who are unwilling to kill children, it allows you to get to your child apprentice quickly by destroying yourself and reforming at their location, and it's kind of endearing in a "I will always be with you" sort of way.

>>52934045
Un-objects like this. Say a spellbookcase with spellbooks in it. Travelers briefspellbookcase. Treasure chest with spellbooks in a false bottom.

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>>52935901
Well at first I thought you had to have an inanimate object, like a ring or necklace, so my plan was to make an object the phylactery and then perform surgery on the child to put it inside of her. Then I realized that it could be a living object as well, so that's what I would do instead.

Inside another lich.

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Can you make recursive Phylactery? A lich who makes another lich his phylactery, whose phylactery is another lich whose...

Phylactery regenerates as long there's another lich down the line.

>>52932933
Create a kingdom. Create a crown. Make a weidly-shaped diamond in it your phylactery, so that the writings of Vow of Eternal King won't be easy to ifnd on it. Make crown reject wrong candidates and give some solid advice to kings.
Who the fuck's gonna break a magical crown of a powerful king that's either on royal head or heavily guarded.

>>52935773
>good/neutral versions of these?
step 1: fuel your lichdom by something that's not negative energy or souls of others
step 2: hide your soul in whatever coz there shouldn't be much peple willing to hurt you

Give it to a bird with a wide migration pattern.

If you don't know, no one can force or read the information from your mind.

>>52936162
also an idea:

put the phylactery in a gold coin, and then trade it away into circulation

>>52936048
*kills liches simultaneously*

A dildo in your personal dildo collection.
Nobody is going to even want to touch it, much less look for it.

Regardless of where, always make at least two.

All right, another anon here, let's throw a curveball. What if the phylactery has to be somewhat close to the corpse for the body to move?

>>52934425
*backstabs you*

>>52936192
Until some king decides to melt down and recast coins and you die.

>>52933662
Wouldn't this result in both being destroyed simultaneously? Since in killing one, you destroy the phylactery of the other? Or is it like,
>L1 is destroyed but regens at position of L2,
>L2 then recreates phylactery inside of L1,
>L1 then goes on his merry way.
?

>>52936314
Make it into a small piece of rebar.

Think about it. When's the last time you saw some rebar break?

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>>52936525
Kill lich one, and he will reform at lich two's location. Kill lich two, and he will reform at lich one's location. The only way to permanently kill them is to kill them both before either has time to reform.

>>52936560
I see, the lich itself is the phylactery, and it regenerating is also the regeneration of the phylactery. Ty anons.

>>52936560
But if Lich 1 dies, then that means they just destroyed Lich 2's phylactery. Unless you mean the soul of the lich is your phylactery?

But that shouldn't work, since the phylactery IS the soul of a Lich. You can't put a soul inside of another soul, I don't think.

Make the letter 't' your phylactery ('e' is taken).

>>52932933
Priceless works of art made into phylacteries, located in dragon hoards.

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>>52936635
You could get a third lich involved, and form a triangle of lich phylacteries.

>>52936670
I know! Make the concept of joy your phylactery. Pyrrhic victory at best!

>>52932933
A box

You hide it in your dungeon and put some fancy looking magical artifact inside.

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>>52936693
>located in Dragon Queen's hoard

>>52935991
>giving your phylactery a lifespan
For what purpose?

>>52936722
At that point, why not just create a pyramid scheme of Liches?

Top Lich (you) puts their phylactery into a Lower Lich, who puts theirs into another Lower Lich, ect, ect, all the way until the bottom bitch Lich puts their phylactery into you.

Except you put your real phylactery into bottom bitch Lich, and lobotomized him and stuffed him into a mythril box in the bottom of a 500 foot chasm that you filled in, made fertile and turned into the capital of a kingdom.

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>>52936795
It has other uses as well. If the child ever needs me, I need only destroy my body and I will be able to reform at their location shortly thereafter. Paladins and heroes will be hesitant to kill an innocent child. And if you care about the child, by putting your soul into their body you are forced to take care of them above all else. There's also the somewhat cheesy yet endearing quality of literally always being with them.

Quick reading
>Each lich must make its own phylactery, which requires the Craft Wondrous Item feat.

This means it has to be an actual physical item. This removes my first choices of things which aren't quite items (the planet, ocean, whatever), or more abstract concepts (a bloodline, a nation).

What you want is a phylactery that has at least one of the following properties:
>Indestructibility
>Horrible consequences if interfered with
>Unlocatable

I'd actually go for the third, whilst approaching the first as much as possible. How to make it unlocatable? Ditch it on another plane. Preferably, a plane where you can survive when reborn as lich. I suggest the Elemental Plane of Air, or the Elemental Plane of Water. In both cases, have the phylactery be something that looks like the surroundings (ie translucent) whilst also being extremely tough. Add some nasty taste so creatures don't swallow it by accident. Or maybe that's all the better. Who expects the nigh-indestructible phylactery to be in the stomach of some native fauna

>>52937215
>Who expects the nigh-indestructible phylactery to be in the stomach of some native fauna

Bonus 'metal as fuck' points for having to burst out of the creature when you come back (if you interpret rejuvenation that way).

>>52937257
"Immortal lich, born of "parents' names", born of a greater water elemental, born of a blue whale, born of an orca"

Pose as kindly doctor. Actully cure peoples horrible diseases with your powerful lich magic. Tell them you cure them via creating an item they must be bound to. Said item kills the person if it is destroyed. Tell them you keep the item to continue the treatment of their condition. Said items look just like your phalactrie. Keep them altogether. Rely on anyone coming after you having learnt about your deception. Let them have fun picking the right one.

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>>52933432
You poor bastard: you just tried to give a Paladin a moral quandary.

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>>52937835
I don't think the child is going to appreciate that paladin's solution. I am, after all, her only parent and father figure since, who has given her warm food and a nice castle home, and named her heir to all I have built for her. To her, I'm practically a saint, I've got "World's Best Dad" mugs and her unconditional love to keep me company. She will not be happy to lose me. It might even make her hate those paladins and their "good" gods.

>>52937835
>he wants to imprison the ancient evil instead of destroying it

Sure m8, what could possibly go wrong

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>>52937969
Fuck off, cunt. We know what 'lich' is, if you mentioned an actually benevolent type of undead, you might have a case, but at the moment it's pretty fucking clear either the lich is evil or you're twisting the word 'lich' so far past the breaking point to where it no longer has meaning. And who gives the fuck about being hated by some child? Give her a fucking teddy bear and a shitload of Ice cream and her shallow ass memories of a parental Mr. Skeleton will be wiped away.

>>52938039
Hey friendo, up to you, but I'd rather trust the next generation of heroes to finish the job than arbitrarily murder a child on the off chance a lich was telling me the truth.

>>52936944
"Dave, you can't just get rid of all your fears by making more lich-phylacteries!"

"TRY AND STOP ME."

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>>52938192
Hang on, so your saying that as an evil character I'm not allowed to have any redeeming qualities or loved ones? The only way to be a proper evil guy is to hate everyone all the time? Okay, if you say so, but keep in mind that would mean even Hitler wasn't evil by DnD standards.

>>52938288
Are you intentionally acting dumb? If the traits are actually 'redeeming,' you're not evil and are instead a benevolent or neutral undead; if they're 'sympathetic' traits, you're evil but the person you could've been is easily mourned; if they're 'excuses', you're an evil sack of shit and deserve to be put to the sword.

Likewise with loved one; congrats, you care about your family! Doesn't detract from the fact you went full Joker on some innocents earlier, asshole.

>>52938192
First off, that image is FUCKED UP!
Second off, what about White Necromancy?
An ability that gives Intelligent Undead the same Alignment as the Necromancer that raised them?

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>>52938328
This is for you:
>>52938409

Please be baiting or shitposting.

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>>52938409
>Likewise with loved one; congrats, you care about your family! Doesn't detract from the fact you went full Joker on some innocents earlier, asshole.
So, in other words, nothing you said in >>52938192 had anything to do with what I was saying earlier.

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>>52938418
Honestly, I don't care one way or another about benevolent or neutral undead; they don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with them, or maybe they're cool, I dunno.

But you take the word Lich, which has unequivocally been associated with evil since jump, and tell me he's implanted something in an innocent so he can live without fear of paladins? Seems real fucking dodgey to claim, a moment later, he's not a sack of shit.

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>>52938463
YOU SET THE SCENARIO AS BEING A LICH, FAGGOT! WHAT, EXACTLY, DO YOU THINK YOU NEED TO DO TO BECOME A LICH?!

Here's a hint: it ain't hugging puppies and staring wistfully at sunsets.

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>>52938522
>Seems real fucking dodgey to claim, a moment later, he's not a sack of shit.
Whoa, no where did I claim I wasn't a sack of shit. But even sacks of shit have friends and family, whom they love and who love them.

I'm going to assume that we have limiting factors on both size (let's say no smaller than a quarter, nor larger than a fridge), and available space (you need to be able to regenerate from it, so you need a body's worth of space immediately handy). Additionally, regeneration takes place over several days in which you're vulnerable and not terribly mobile.

>>52933069
What if sediment at the bottom slowly buries it over your centuries of unlife?

>>52933072
Similar to the common "grain of sand" strategy. Just make sure it's specifically a stone in a tower that tends to be pretty unoccupied, so you can regenerate in peace.

>>52933432
Okay, that's just impractical. If successful, it likely kills the kid, wasting a lot of time and effort. Additionally, anyone strong enough to kill you will kill your apprentice too.

>>52933662
Having a creature (even another lich) as a phylactery seems like a bad idea. In your case, I would assume that destroying that lich would count as destroying your phylactery, even if they proceed to regenerate, as you make an object, not a soul, your phylactery. Their physical body is your phylactery, and if that gets broken, you have problems. And lichs tend to attract paladins.

>>52933719
This would be fantastic, but takes a loooot of setup. Also regeneration could be awkward if it was kept somewhere on display or with a guard, or in a sanctified area which would hurt you while regenerating.

>>52933930
Now, tying your phylactery to the life of a good person is an interesting idea, forcing all sorts of lovely moral quandries for do-gooders. Kind of like the above, but still works even if they know what it is, but has the downside of being more visible than the above. If the royal family figures out what it is, you may consider trying to be less of a pain than the heir is good. IE they lose more by breaking it than they gain.

>>52933946
Getting out of that would be so annoying, if there was room at all.

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We had this thread every goddamn week in 6 years now.

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>>52938573
So. . . At what point, therefore, are the forces of good not justified in smiting you? I mean, love doesn't mean jack in terms of morality. So, why shouldn't a good person do anything, given this hypothetical situation?

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>>52938640
Of course the forces of good are justified in smiting me, that's why I made my phylactery an innocent child, so that they might be unwilling to do what needs to be done to defeat me.

>>52932933
A phylactery is a hinged box with profane writings. It's pretty clear.

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>>52938671
Then we refer to the earlier observation, Dr. Cunty McBones III, Eater of Dicks. Into the pit of burning fluid with you until she dies of natural* or unpreventable causes, then we smash the phylactory and boom, done-zo.

*Justified Smiting is a natural cause of death.

>>52938671
>>52938750
Or the girl commits suicide of her own decision, and is then resurrected by the Powers that Be because of the nobility of her decision and how pissed off they were at mouthy liches.

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>>52935773
>good/neutral liches

Frick off

>>52938793
What if the Lich resurrected the girl?

>>52938810
Kinda hard to do when your phylactory is broke as shit. Furthermore, requires the deceased and a god to agree; not many liches are going to get those two.

>>52932933
the body of the hero destined to defeat you.

I used to think liches were boring until I realized Sauron and Voldemort were both liches.

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>>52938750
>>52938793
That's the danger that comes with the job I guess, although I might be able to keep her loyal enough to free me even after the unfortunate heroes come knocking.

>>52938852
>I used to think liches were boring until I realized Sauron and Voldemort were both liches.
They are not. Sauron is essentially obliterated when his "phylactery" is (yes a powerless shade is left behind who cares), D&D liches are fine without their phylactery they just lose the auto-resurrection. Conversely, Voldemort had 8 "phylacteries", two of them were living creatures, and when Voldemort was killed he was reduced to a pathetic wraith that took over a decade to revive to full strength with a magic ritual. D&D liches revive in 1d10 days automatically.
Sauron is also considerably lesser without his ring, as his ring is an extension of his own magical power.

>>52939074
Then clause two comes into effect, and justified smiting ensues.

Give it up, dude; you presented what you thought was an unbeatable problem and we cut through it like warm butter. Now, link the girl to something that will cause an apocalypse if not dealt with RIGHT NOW, and you might get a 'paladin falls' worthy reply.

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>>52939264
>D&D liches are fine without their phylactery they just lose the auto-resurrection
Oh, is this true? Well in that case two liches should be able to theoretically make the bodies of each other their phylacteries, yes?

Bury you phylactery in the grave next to "yours". That way if anyone checks your "grave" it will look legit. Make sure to label the grave as unknown.

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>>52939284
I'll admit that if the girl decides to kill herself that would certainly be bad for me. But if I wanted to create an unbeatable phylactery I wouldn't have chosen a mortal object. I just created one I thought was good for roleplaying.

>>52939306
No, a phylactery has to be an object. It cannot be a creature, no matter how much we like to meme.
You can make a corpse a phylactery, because corpses are objects in D&D. But not a living being of any sort, a magically animated construct, or an undead.

>>52933001
>the character's tombstone
gotta use this for a villain

running with the logic of sentimental phylacteries too
>lich born with shitty name no-one could take seriously as a wizard like Dick Douggins or something
>nonetheless, searched for immortality
>found it in lichhood
>decided to bury his former personality, and use his gravestone as a stepping stone to immortality
>Dick Douggins is dead, there is only Olkron the Infinite

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Here's my serious answer:

>Room of Requirement.

Assumption 1: The phylactery is a classic, traditional variety: an amulet, a ring, or a coffer, or some other small item.
Assumption 2: To kill a lich, one must destroy both the lich's body and the phylactery. If one destroys the phylactery but leave the lich intact, the lich can create a new phylactery after 1 week. (The lich is "notified" when his phylactery is destroyed.)

The lich should get a bigass dungeon, with some bigass rooms, and gather as much junk as he can. As many small items as the kingdom's antiquarians can sell. They should all be worthless, to avoid the dungeon from being adventurer's wet dream. No one wants to dungeon crawl for a mound of garbage.

If someone is out to kill the lich, and they know the lich made that dungeon, they'll probably deduce that amidst all this junk, there's the lich's phylactery. They can't burn the whole place down, because phylacteries are tough like that. They'd need to search it by hand. (The lich can be extra crafty and make some items falsely detect as magic to further complicate search.)

Of course the lich will keep watch over his dungeon, and if a group of paladins begins going through his stuff, he'll know someone is out to end him.

Obviously the phylactery IS somewhere in that dungeon.
It's not a red herring (though if it fools someone into thinking it is a red herring, all the better) because there would be no point in the dungeon if someone found the phylactery from someplace else.

>>52939354
Not all objects are creatures but all creatures are objects. Sorry mate.

Ring, go sandy dune desert in the middle of the empty quarter where nobody can travel not even bedouin. Skellies to dig a really deep hole, drop the ring in.

What, the adventurers are going to organize an expedition with porters and coolies to dig up sand and not even know where in the desert the sand is?

Nigga pleeze.

>>52939792
>all creatures are objects
Not by D&D logic.
You can't cast Animate Object on something alive. Creatures are not objects.

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>>52939351
Oh. Well then. I suppose I should've taken Ian Fleming to heart, then. My bad.

>>52933946
Tried it already. My ex told some Barbarian she tried to eat where to find it, and he's now coming for me.

Safely tucked away in a pocket planet that you created and only you know the location of. There is would be guared by automatons, mindless undead, and bound demons. Surrounded by thousands of wards.

>>52935773
Liches are evil because the process of becoming a Lich is evil. Depending on the edition, you also need to feed your Phylactery souls.
If you really want to play as a Neutral Undead, you can always become a Necropolitan or Grim Psion.

>>52939825
They higher the sand druid to dig it up for them

>>52937050
Until your corruption eventually spreads to the child and they turn on you.

>>52936048
But all you had to do to kill all of them is to kill the last lich

secret compartment in the coffin i sleep in at the top level of my tower

>>52937969
> her

>>52932933
An Obdurium or Adamantine casing hidden within the chest of a golem. Said golem has several custom wondrous items- Constant Mind Blank, Anticipate Teleportation, daily Nystul's Magic Aura to cast on your phylactery, etc. Furthermore, the 'spawn chamber' for the lich is plated in Faerzress, keeping people from scrying inward, and fill it full of as many abjurations you want.

Then you contingency yourself so that the moment you no longer remember where your phylactery is, you'll teleport out of the chamber. You should have more than 25 spellcraft by this point, so you don't need to worry about the Faezress or anything.

Then you stick your memory of the location of your phylactery into a thoughtbottle. You teleport away, the golem reliably puts the thoughtbottle back up onto the shelf, and goes back to shut himself inside of the canister where he hides.

Then nobody can take the knowledge from you (despite you being immune to mind-affecting spells), and even if Commanded by a high level cleric or whatever you can't answer him.

>>52938192
>he actually thinks >>52937969 was claiming to be benevolent
The point was that it doesn't matter if someone's evil or not... as long as an innocent young girl thinks the world of them. They'll still be evil of course, but the girl will *hate* whoever kills their beloved parent. Even if he's a mass-murderer behind the scenes, it would be hard to believe that's the truth if all you've ever known was a loving, kind horrible skeleton.

>>52940705
We all are horrible skeletons inside.

Cast Demiplane
Place phylactery along with a number of random unique items you made and marked in strange ways inside
Cast sequester and drawmijs instant summons on phylactery
Fill demiplane completely with explosive wards
Leave demiplane

Voila

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>>52940705
Yup, that's exactly what I was going for. I don't have to be a good person to have the support of my adopted daughter, I just have to be good to her. Daddy's little minion is going to make a fine necromancer one day.

>>52941078
based necrofather

>>52932933
>What's the best place to hide a Phylactery?
Space.
>What makes the best Phylactery?
The sun.

Seriously, corrupt that sweet life giving fiery orb the world relies on for the ultimate FUCK YOU to the gods just as you have porked the eyeholes of Death's own skull. And as a bonus now sunlight only gives vampires massive boners.

Better yet anyone who wants to destroy you will have to destroy the sun first. Don't get me wrong, any PC would do it and they WILL find a way but they'll just be ensuring life itself goes down with you.

>>52938418
>First off, that image is FUCKED UP!
Enjoy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtRb4qEpWRg

>The most common form of phylactery is a sealed metal box containing strips of parchment on which magical phrases have been transcribed. The box is Tiny and has 40 hit points, hardness 20, and a break DC of 40.

>Other forms of phylacteries can exist, such as rings, amulets, or similar items.


Why do people assume a phylactery can be literally anything? I've seen people claim they had a lich with a moon phylactery or orphan heart phylactery.

>>52935750
Unless the bloodline you choose Darwin award themselves.

>>52943068
>Why do people assume a phylactery can be literally anything?
Magic. Seriously, that's it. If there's no mention of the ring or amulet needing sacred bits of paper like a lich was a fucking golem people feel free to extend the potential items to whatever they want.

Now if their GM let's them go crazy bug nuts with it that's on the GM.

>>52943168
Sounds like the kind of thing that leads to a cursed bloodline so seems like equally good odds they'd end up dying horribly from numerous tragedies, going insane and needing to be put down, etc. until there is only one surviving member of the lineage. Basic horror stuff, really, which will probably mean the last surviving member is a pure maiden to give the heroes a schlock moral dilemma or quest to find a way to purify her and destroy the evil.

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>>52943173
>Liches are actually people made into golems, just with the instructions more complex and listed outside the body
>If you find a lich's phylactery, not only will destroying it make him mortal but you can also write in commands
reverse pic related

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>>52943928
>we wanted to make the lich suffer
>so we gave it a taste of true loss

When still mortal, invent guns, and integrate an enchantments, including one of indestructibility, into the design. Then sell the design to as many kingdoms as you can.

After becoming a lich, make your phylactery an otherwise normal gun, and slip it into some random armoury somewhere. Because all guns show as magical, no amount of detect magic will ever reveal it, and the world will have been plunged into a new era of war, meaning lots more skeletons to res.

>Make phylactery
>Make skeltal
>Give phylactery to skeltal
>Imprisonment on skeltal
>Phylactery is now on a demiplane that can't be divined or teleported into

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>>52944133
delet dis son

>>52944764
Great, now the lich wants to murder all the first borns AND destroy the sun. Way to go, Glorbfeld.

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>>52944816
"Dammit, Lichfinger, you already know I'm onto your plan to abduct children and launch them into the sun, do you really expect me to talk?"
"No, Sir Bond, I expect you to undie!"

>>52932933
Have none, but tell everyone you have, have them search for something that doesn't exist instead of murdering you.

>>52944161
What if guns have already been invented? What then?

>>52940978
wouldn't that result in the side effect that an intruder would cause your entire storage + phylactery blow up?

>>52939652
>They can't burn the whole place down, because phylacteries are tough like that

Wrong, they'd burn it all down so only the phylactery is left, and maybe a few other hardy trinkets. Then destroy it after the process of eliminating the rest of the junk.

>>52941627
>not calling him "bone daddy"

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>>52944133

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>>52932933
An adamantine needle, placed inside an egg.

That egg is hidden inside an immortal duck, and the duck is hidden inside of an immortal hare.

The hare is hidden inside of an iron chest which is in turn buried underneath an oak tree on a mystical island which appears and disappears with the changing of the tides

I make it a random coffin in a far off graveyard. Remove the body, enchant coffin, rebury. Continue to do this with every death, going about to random graveyards.

>>52945787
IF an intruder SOMEHOW got there its a good thing my phylactery is unbreakable

The runes are just a fuck you

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>>52946703
>"Necrodad, nobody suspects a thing, necrodad, he's got a good thing going, necrodad, nobody suspects a thing, necrodad, necrodad!"

>>52932933
dildo

>>52939652
>the lich has set up waste receptacles around the kingdom, these are used by all of the subjects as free disposal units
>each 10ft diameter portal set in an ornate fountain like structure to make sure nobody falls in and will accept anything thrown into it.
>they're used for burials, toilets, waste disposal, unsavory corpse disposal, public executions and even stopped a town from being completely flooded once
>in the hundreds of years they've existed none have ever filled up an none have ever failed
>they lead to a room of requirements style cavern, constantly filling up with a kingdoms worth of waste and junk, but never filling
>somewhere in here is the lich's phylactery, and it's a lageish brick

In the lich's library or desk drawer or some shit.
A small, sealed box of sacred/profane writings.
I dunno man, just this once, the lich himself is the challenge, not playing find a needle in a haystack and then murder it cos its a child or something.

I'd make it a treasure chest that I'd hide a fake phylactery inside of.

An oath that an unwitting order of knights take

>>52947919
Not to mention possible hostile undead, as I'm sure there's no shortage of bodies being dumped by the local organized criminal element.

>>52932933
A massive, bejeweled dildo guarded by an opulence of succubi.

Because if I die, I want to come back to life inside a cuddle puddle of big-tittied demon girls.

Around your neck, dont be a pussy

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Now I have a question
It's all very nice to have these convoluted plans to shield your lich from death, but if a character is thoroughly invincible, it just becomes boring
So, how do you even track down a lich's phylactery, how do you detect it when you're at the supposed spot and how do you destroy it ?

>>52936325
*shits pants*

>>52948636
>how do you even track down a lich's phylactery
Research his background.

Realistically, most liches are vain little shits who will either make their phylactery something incredibly valuable/rare/unique, then keep it near themselves, or turn something with huge amounts of sentimental value into it.

>how do you detect it when you're at the supposed spot
If you have a Cleric or Paladin, it lights up like an angry beacon to Detect Evil. If not, you're basically stuck looking for random shit and trying to figure out when and where the Lich respawns. Try scratching items with anything below Hardness 20, which is what phylacteries are statted at. If it should be scratched but isn't, then it's either the phylactery or some other form of important magical shit.

>how do you destroy it
Hitting it very hard. Phylacteries are really just very tough versions of their normal object, so smashing it is probably the easiest way, unless your GM is one of those that like to make breaking it into a painstakingly long quest to throw it into a very specific volcano on the other end of the world or some shit.

>>52943068
I'm sure that it wouldn't be too hard for a lich to make a magitech artificial heart similar enough to an amulet and replace an orphan's heart with it.

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>>52949792
>"I'll always be right here"

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>>52932933
So, if I took a ring, made it my phylactery, enchanted it with a ton of magic to make it nigh indestructible and also to enhance the power of whomever wears it, would I effectively have the One Ring from LOTR?

>>52940538
the last lich has the first one as his phylactery

>>52950420
Enchant it with a permanent undo morality spell and I'd say you are close as you can get. that of give it some will save to degrade your goodness over time or a gease to compulse you to get closer to the ringers creator (you)

>>52934024

A black hole isn't an object, it's just a really dense point in space.

>>52947901
Oh yeah, sure, brilliant. Some horny peasant lass finds it because Fate Decrees It™ bullshit, meanwhile half a continent away the heroes slay the lich's physical form. Unfortunately his phylactery is otherwise occupied, or rather occupying, and, oh shit, now she's preggers with the lich's sorry ass.

This is magical realm, really stupid, and frankly just uncomfortable for all parties involved.

>>52954044
The sufficiently compact mass that distorts space and forms the black hole. Does the compact mass still exist? WHO KNOWS, but sure it's viable as a test.

>>52933946
The only right answer

>>52932933
A grain of sand on a beach.

>>52955547
That seems unwise. I mean how many evil grains of sand could there be on a standard beach? Surely detect evil/detect magic would make it easy to pinpoint and sure they'll have to bucket up some extra sand, quite a bit relatively speaking, but then they'll have no real problem destroying the normal sand unlike the phylactery.

>>52932933

1. your phylactery is a swarm of rats:
2. Release at least 20 rats each on 5 different continents, except one single rat.
3. polymorph that one particular rat into a needle and teleport inside the very first haystay you can scry on
4. put the haystack inside a pocket dimension and switch to another plane of existence (ether, elemental plane of water, etc)
5. leave your pocket dimension there.


1. Just make a regular ass phylactery, but cast a ton of cloaking spells on it.
2. Put your phylactery inside a stillborn baby. (magically. the body needs to stay intact)
3. choose a different continent with burial tradition and let simple folk people find your phylactery baby. Simple minds with no idea of the workings of magic would simply bury the poor thing and continue with their life.
4. if step 3 fails simply burn the entire fucking village and 25 yards around it and try again.
5 magically erase or alter every memory of every villager about ever finding that baby
6 use the very exact cloaking spells from your phylactery on the grave of the baby

>>52936474
Would you, now? or would everything melted turn into your phylactery? just because it changes form, doesn´t mean the magic workings of your phylactery stop.

>>52932933
Your biggest rival's chest cavity.
A voodo doll of their most treasured acquaintance.

>>52954044
Your mother is a really dense point in space.

>>52956342
She does have a lot of mass, but nobody sucks like yo momma.

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>>52938594

>>52955076
>impregnated by undead

This is my fetish. The main villain of my first campaign was a sentient undead abomination created when an angry necromancer ordered one of her undead experiments to rape her sister, who was a priestess, after a failed attempt to smite the necromancer. The fact that none of my players found this disturbing or unusual coming from me should worry me.

>playing a dread lich
>Can turn any non living creature in a phylactery with a wish spell
>amass a fortune in diamonds and cast fragmented phylactery on all my incorporeal undeas
>tell them to fuck off and hide in walls across the plane
>keep normal phylactery on self and another in muh death compound
It's not like it's that hard guys come on

On a serious note I am planning on doing this to a lesser extent with my actual dread lich character I'm playing, the best part is one of the other players is undead.

>>52956928
"Haha, in a matter of months my dread form shall be returned to the planet to wreak more havoc! I - wait, what is this shit covering my glorious bones? Is this-is this MEAT? Oh fuck, I'm becoming alive!"

And this is how life on planet Earth came to be infested with interior spoopy beings within our otherwise innocent meat forms.

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Hiding it underwater is the best way to keep a phylactery safe from 99% of uppity land dwellers. Preferably in as deep and dark a place as possible to keep the mer races away from it to, like the bottom of an ocean trench. Then you go find the biggest sea creature corpse possible and raise it as an undead servant bound to your will and implant it inside of them. Do it right and upon death you'll revive inside a minion capable of transporting you anywhere in the world while carrying a backup army of undead to begin new conquests when you get there. The rest of the time you can rest easy knowing no one will be able to even reach your phylactery without being reduced to meaty chunks in the first place and any who do will have to face a massive undead monstrosity optimized for killing on its own turf.

You just really have to ensure your body and phylactery can handle that kind of pressure.

>>52957490
It's all well and good until Cthulhu is woken up by the creepy whispering of your phylactery and squishes it. Don't have a Cthulhu in your setting? Keep dumping powerful shit in your ocean like lich phylacteries and you'll get there.

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>>52932933
A candle.

Not mechanically, but narratively.

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>>52958064
Been done. Didn't end well.

>>52937050
what if the child then becomes a lich themselves?

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>>52958669
Then I will be the world's proudest father.

>>52958064
What did he mean by this?

>>52959932
That some liches just want to watch the world burn at both ends.

>>52958669
They put their phylactery into another child, process repeats.

>>52933514
Fuck that. Why does an immortal being need an heir?

>>52939354
What if the corpse phylactery is reanimated by someone at a later date?

>>52960212
Boredom and everyone enjoys having a pet.

Think about it, though. Liches LOVE acquiring knowledge but the one thing anyone who loves knowledge loves almost or just as much as the knowledge itself...is someone to show off that knowledge to. Holmes NEEDS his Watson, dammit. Someone to explain things to and have them gush at how brilliant you are.

>>52939354
>No, a phylactery has to be an object. It cannot be a creature, no matter how much we like to meme.
That depends on the setting. Hell, the concept of liches is derived from very early sword and sorcery fantasy stories and the undeath part was more, "I'm so magic I ain't gotta explain shit, even to Death himself!" Being literally so powerful normal laws don't apply to you.

As for D&D it depends on what the DM does or allows you to do.

>>52936474
Pretty sure that nonmagical fire can't break a phylactery.

>>52960295
No, the "concept of liches" was made directly by Gary Gygax.
Lich as a word was used in "sword and sorcery fantasy stories" but all it meant was corpse, in other words any dead or undead could be a lich. Lich as an immortal undead sorcerer who has shorn their soul from their body and put into a phylactery is something D&D assembled, inspired by several distinctly different figures from mythology and fantasy storytelling. No, Koschei the Undying is not a lich. No, Ephraim Waite is not a lich.
So when we're talking about liches and phylacteries, we're talking about D&D and D&D's settings.

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If I was a Lich, and I wanted to hide my Phylactery...I would do so in a giant room made of magic mirrors.

Four doors in each direction at the ends of the room. In the center of the room I would design a labyrinth made of magic mirrors. Each magic mirror would show those looking a reflection of my Phylactery.

Different areas of the labyrinth would be occupied with traps, and monsters. The mirrors themselves would have three magical effects if struck by weapon or magic.

1.) Reflect the attack back at aggressor
2.)The mirror would trap the attack inside.
3.)Said attacker travels to new area via mirror
4.) Bestow a strange magical effect/curse.

>>52941078
you are a great parent. don't let anyone tell you different!

>>52946720
you sir, need a kick in the penis.

>>52961523
And where did Gygax acquire the idea, anon? That's right, he found it from sword and sorcery books that were his fucking inspiration in the first place.

Hell, you even managed to stumble on the fact that lich wasn't even a word he created. These creatures are hardly his invention in the same way, say, bullywugs were dreamed up by him and his son Luke.

And even if it DID create the first instance why would you only limit it to D&D? That's idiotic. For instance did you know that zombies craving brains isn't even that old a concept? It originated in the Return of the Living Dead and subsequent movies, and yet zombies craving brains has taken on a much wider cultural appeal. If you hear a zombie wants brains you don't automatically assume and sure as hell don't demand it confine itself to the Living Dead movie series.

>>52946720
wait, what if that comic is his phylactery?

>>52961696
You need to follow the conversation back a bit.

>>52948392
multiheaded dildo? something that looks like a cross between a TRM and an Sybian?

>>52961690
>>52961523
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lich

>>52961716
And of course Voldemort is a lich by any other name. Different terminology and he doesn't appear as a spoopy skeleton but is still warped physically by his magic. Fucked up his soul too.

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>>52961541
>The mirrors themselves would have three magical effects if struck by weapon or magic.
>proceed to list four magical effects

Hmm... This lich is truly a most cunning foe!

>>52961541
We can do worse than this... Let's see, alright got it!

The Dread Lair of the Lich has a sign on the door that reads, "Dare you Enter my Nether Realms?" The interior is a single room with a single mirror in the center. To reach the lich's phylactery you must proceed through a successive series of mirrors each transporting you to a Magical Realm in which you must compete to gain access to the next mirror. Each Magical Realm is increasingly depraved and the players compete by acting out the vile acts specific to said Magical Realm which will slowly warp the character's fetishes. The penultimate mirror involves necrophilia. The last mirror is simply labelled "The Boudoir of the Lich." The lich is lying on a baby skin rug with his robes open twirling a bony finger along his ribcage about where his nipples used to be and the burning red coals in his hollow sockets having a particular come hither allure to them.

The lich's actual phylactery he sent to an alternate universe and some place called New Jersey.