>A wealthy countess invites you and your friends to a Call

>>52913449
Fine, but I'm the GM and she has to accept the fact that if her character goes insane then that's a her problem, not a me problem.

Nope, I don't trust it.

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>>52913449

I form a revolution and take the engine and engage in negotiations.

>>52913514

The train or the countess?

>>52913449
> >A wealthy countess invites you and your friends to a Call of Cthulu game on her private train
Plot twist: It doesn't actually have any supernatural elements, it's a purely Agatha Christie-ish "perfect crime" detective campaign.

>>52913449
>A shitposter shits up the board with one greentext line thread because he found a pretty picture
Fuck you.

>>52913617
>>52913449
>[Ten Little Niggers intensifies]

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>It was a ruse. The countess was actually a baroness.

>>52913633
you gonna cry, little bitchboy?

>>52913817
>I was only trolling you!11111

>>52913449
>>A wealthy countess invites you and your friends to a Call of Cthulu game on her private train

This is my fetish

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>>52913449

>>52913633
>a thread at the bottom of page 11 that hadn't been bumped for several hours is no longer on the board
My God.

Rolled 12 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>52913449
I roll to seduce.

>>52913449
Hmm... so many options:

>No, women have no place at the table, I notify her husband or her manager of estate about her degeneracy.

>Yes, but only if she lets me rape her ass while she rides a sybian to exhaustion when we're not playing.

>No, she doesn't get to choose, we play Catan instead.

>Yes, I make a bet with her that if her character dies she'll give me half her estate.

>>52913449
Tell her that I only play D&D 3.5, point buy, always starting at level 10 or higher

>>52914514
To roll with a malus, you have to write the syntax as +-; otherwise the board interprets the - as a +.

I assume you just made a mistake rolling and you don't actually think that you deserve a bonus to your seduction roll.

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>>52914460

>>52914587
Must be 18 to post on 4chan, kiddo.

>>52914631
>malus
Ugh.

>>52913449

Can I still come if the fanciest clothing I own is a button up shirt and nice jeans?

>>52914723
Sorry, "negative bonus".

>>52914727
How nice are the jeans? Are we talking slightly darker Levi's, or at we talking rockstar bullshit levels?

>>52914587
>I'm so edgy, I browse 4chan
>I bet you've never even heard of it dad

SUMMER

>>52913555
Yes.

>>52914755
>>52914659
Thank you for the compliments, but no, I've been on the board for 5 years now. You see, summer kid's are naturally stupid, I've had to put effort into it.

And before you accuse me of only pretending to be stupid, I assure you, my idiocy is done in complete earnest.

>>52914587
>>52914833
This is some advanced level cringe right here.

>>52914833
i assure you my nuts are huge

>>52914853
Thank you. I've put a lot of effort into it.

>A gaming train with 4 traincars

>1. Sleeping traincar with bunkbeds
>2. Food traincar with lots of yummy food
>3. ???
>4. Gaming traincar with tables and chairs

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>>52914752

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>>52913449
>oh, i did bring my friends. they're in my pants.

>>52914944
>oh, i did bring my friends. they're in my pants.
Are they 28mm heroic scale miniatures?

>>52914863
Do they chafe against your legs? Mine do. It's gotten so bad I've had to invest in silk testicular lingerie in order to hug them further along the shaft so they're not squished between my legs. It felt a little weird at first, but Damn if I don't look sexy wearing a Ball-Bra.

>>52914896
Like most amateur GMs, you forgot to include a bathroom.

>>52915051
I refuse to believe this is an actual thing.

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>>52914974
No, here he is!

>>52915059
>not enjoying the pleasant breeze as you shit outside the train window

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>>52915073

>>52915111
Jesus christ it exists.

How horrifying.

Trips checked though.

>>52915132
They're actually quite comfy. The balls don't stick.

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>>52914974
Congratulations mate, you really got me. You got me good.

>>52913449
>Countess is young, hot af aryan, I accept invite.
>but I have no friends, feelsbadman.jpg
>Countess says its ok, her maids will play with us
>three 9/10 qts in french maid uniforms
>"oui, mademoiselle"
>actual French maids
>boner_intensifies.gif
>Game she has in mind is actually strip CoC.
>For every SAN loss, remove clothing.
>damn I should have worn 5 layers and hats and rings and shit
>the maids are wierd, removed their blouse and skirts first before their apron and hat-thingies
>Countess is keeper, so I don't understand why she's also stripping when a player loses SAN
>started out wearing a mink coat and a bunch of clothes/jewelry underneath, she was prepared for this
>but soon all she had for modesty was a lace thong and her GM screen
>diamonds.png
>final encounter, at least I hope it is
>almost no SAN left, also no self-control left
>not sure what I'll lose first, SAN or sperm
>down to my boxers, not even trying to hide boner anymore
>or the wet spot due to precum, fuck it they're Europeans, I bet that's a turn on for them
>scene plays out, apparently the final ritual's not for waking Cthulhu, it's for someone else
>"Hastur... Hastur..." the words roll off the Countess erotic mouth in an equally erotic accent
>french maids are too good playing cultists
>their moaning is too much
>also when did this become LARP? the maids are undulating like real cultists, but naked
>that's it imma explode now
>I whip out my boxer snek and swipe clear the Countess' GM screen in one swift motion
>the maids gasp at the sudden violence, it sounded like orgasm gasp
>I lock eyes with the Countess for a second, then shift lower to target those luscious, perfect breasts
>here we go, I actually say out loud as I pump my cannon to shoot her cans
>the Countess, in a bewildered gasp, finishes her chant, "HASTUR!"
>then BANG! door crashes open
>It's Old Man Henderson!
>'Damn muckled cultists! Where ye be keepin' me wee men?'

>>52914587
>Lets me rape
>Lets me
>rape
Are you Retarded, Autistic, 12, or some mixture of the three?

>>52916791
I believe I made it quite clear here: >>52914833

>>52916791
>hes never heard of non-con play
Underaged virgin.

>>52913449
Yeah, sure. Why not? She'll have to supply the "friends" part, though, as I'm in short supply of them.