Young adult green here, trying to catch the eye of a really cute

>>52871820
anon you're doing it wrong

>>52871820
Pickled adventurers are a favorite dish. If the meat doesn't come off the bones without any resistance and the armor hasn't rusted, you haven't left it in long enough.

Any magic items in your hoard involving life drain or undead control will get her to show you how to put the romance in necromancer in no time.

Remember, black dragons are introverts at heart. She'll let you know when she's ready to mingle when the mire starts leeching into your forest.

>>52871820
Blacks are psychotic, don't date one. You'll probably get raped or murdered, or quite possibly both. Slit his throat in his sleep before he does that to you.

>>52871934
Sounds like someone got dumped by a black.

>>52871934
>calls blacks psychotic
>immediately advocates killing in their sleep
Found the blue. Go back to your sand castle, nobody wants to fuck you.

>>52871990
No, my son went on a date with one one and she raped and murdered him after she got bored.

Then I killed her and hung her head at the top of the highest tree in the forest. I hired a cleric to cast Gentle Repose on her corpse once every 7 days for the rest of his life, so her face will never get out of its agonized expression.

Fuck blacks.

>>52872022
I'm a red.

Fucking furries

>>52872052
Pretty insecure for a red don't you think? You don't have to polymorph to make half-dragons with humans, do you?

Your son would still be alive if he had a personality.

>>52872069
Agreed, silvers need to fuck off.

>>52872069
>dragons
>fur
u wot

>>52871820
First things first when dealing with any dragon look at their lair first if you see obvious signs of necromancy you shouldn't even try.
>>52872022
Blues are lawful and proud they don't do stuff like that seems like a red.

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>tfw blue
>really sexy copper lives nearby, in one of the mountains above me
>scried him and he's really funny and likeable too
>don't have the guts to talk to him
>think about all the ways it'll go wrong, from me acting awkward to him thinking i've come to slay him and killing me
>cry myself to sleep most nights thinking of him

Anyone got any advice?

>>52871820
They're a bunch of sadists who enjoy desecrating beauty. Statues, carvings, artwork, pretty slaves are all good- so long as you never want to see them again.

>>52872282
Stop acting like a fucking metallic and find yourself another blue you eggslut.

>>52872282
You must at least be 800 to send at this site.

>>52872282
Blues really are cryptometallics

>>52872394
More like they're dragon sultans.

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>>52871820
>Dragon Simulator game. Rape girls and impregnate them to raise an army and build your empire.
http://wiki.anime-sharing.com/hgames/index.php?title=Hgames:DefilerWingswikisandbox

>>52872347
BLUEPOWER

>>52872282
I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be posting here but you need advice. Get over them, it won't work out for many reasons, first things first severe alignment issues; since you are a blue I'm pretty sure you're lawful evil Copper dragons are chaotic good: this is a recipe for disaster. Secondly, copper dragons are cowardly dicks he will probably just leave you with your clutch and while in short glimpses seem like fun long term it will quickly turn sour.

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>>52871820
/Ancient/ Brown dragon here.
Just rape her.
If you fuck her then it's obvious she didn't deserve to NOT be raped.

>>52871820
kys chromatic scum

>>52872541
Never good advice there is nothing more terrifying than a vengeful, pissed off, dragon.
>>52872456
HELL YEAH!
>>52872657
Get out if you're going to be that much of a Juvinile: if you can't deal with both chromatic and metallics on the same board get out.

>>52872687
>Get out if you're going to be that much of a Juvinile: if you can't deal with both chromatic and metallics on the same board get out.
Filthy gem detected, chromatics and metallics deserve different boards.

>>52872657
Speciesism is evil-aligned

>>52872687
>nothing more terrifying than a vengeful, pissed off, dragon.
Do you doubt your strength?
A dragons duty is to gain power and grow his hoard.
If you believe that you are too weak to fight another dragon then maybe you should have been born a mortal.

>>52872687
>Get out if you're going to be that much of a Juvinile: if you can't deal with both chromatic and metallics on the same board get out.
cuck i bet you let adventurers free your princesses and follow them to the inn to watch

>>52872723
No, we tried that the different just started shitposting at eachother one board actually reduces shitposting.
>>52872734
I am giving OP advice, they are likely a younger dragon it is likely that the other dragon is more powerful than them.
>>52872736
Why would I ever deal with princesses except for ransom money?

>>52872973
Ah I see.
Forgive me for my ignorance.
Maybe he could tell some would be heroes about her and betray them when they reach her liar.
Worked on my 4th mate.

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GEMS GIVE GEMS YES PURPLE ONES GIVE GEMS YES

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Dracolich here, glad to see the young ones wises enough to ask their elders.
I would advise against attempting to draw a black into a relationship, I would recommend a green, blue or red. You are still young, no need to ruse, though don't put off find a mate for too long or you might get so old old that mating is no longer a possibly. If you must have that Black, find out what type of treasures he favors and find a particularly choice example of said type and uses as bait to draw him into a relationship.

Copper wyrm here, just woke up and this is the first thread I see.

I've had romances with every kind of chromatic and metallic (yes, even purples and yellows and such), most gems, and quite a few others. Even had a one-night stand with a time dragon. We tried to make it a longer thing, but her showing up the next day five hundred years younger and having to meet her again was too weird for me.

And with all this experience, I can safely say: do not romance blacks. They are sadistic, horrible fucks who will be as abusive as they think they can get away with. They will say cruel things and drive you to tears, and then come back later to make you feel better. They'll build a guilt-tripping complex and work as hard as they can to make you dependant on them, so you accept how badly they treat you. They'll make you give them more and more of your horde and try and convince you that it's YOUR fault the relationship isn't working, not theirs.

Blacks are great in bed as long as you don't let them get out the chains, gags, and torture devices. But for anything other than sex, they're absolutely awful. I've had healthy relationships with reds, whites, blues, and greens, but all my attempts to be kind and loving to blacks have been met by cruelty and abuse.

Don't be as stupid as I was. The object of your desire might be hot, but he or she'll twist you around her talon and ruin your life, just for fun.

>>52873062
Good idea, but risky but usually works as the adventurers won't be able to deal with a second dragon coming out of nowhere and after that a relationship is pretty much guaranteed. The tricky part is finding the right group of adventurers. , assuming they can shapeshift.

>>52873108
Goddamnit.
We were having a civilized discussion.

Hi /dragon/, human here.

One of you guys keeps leaving piles of gold outside of my keep during the night

Should I be concerned?

>>52873202
GEMSGEMSGEMSGEMSGEEEEEEEMS

>>52873145
>Wyrm
True draconians only.
I remember when your kind were slaves.
Go back to your fucking swamp cave Ka'nama.

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DRAGONFAGS GET OUT
YOUR EXTRA LEGS ARE UNNECESSARY
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>52873231
SHUTUP.
YOUR STRAIN OF DRAGON IS SHIT.
SHIIIIT.
GO FUCK AN AMETHYST.

>>52873221
*laughing dragon skeleton noises
Ahh to be young and fleshed again, in a answer to your question mortal, it depends on what your into

>>52873242
How do you even type.

>>52873221
Get ready for Snu Snu.

>>52873306
clearly with that long ridiculous tongue

>>52873239
Wanna guess how I know you're a human?
Hint: a wyrm is a dragon at least a thousand years old

>>52873350
Shit

Hey /dragon/

I'm a white and I've gotten board with Freezing would-be adventurers. I..I think I'm ready to try a human life for a few hundred years. Any advice where to start? I tried going to the local village but they all shouted dragon and chased me out. Am I polymorphing wrong? I copied one of the humans i had encased.

>>52873221
>>52873372
How do Humans keep finding the secret Dragon Forums. Did Bahamut decide to be "nice" to the humans again. I remember when humans knew their place.

>>52873408
I bet Tiamat wanted some humanoid dick again.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

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Alright which one of you made this?
Either accept your child or kill it.

>>52872282
Coppers a shit. Bronze superior.

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>>52873108
I expected better from my own kind.
You're supposed to take what you want, not beg.
Kids these days...

>>52873478
BROWN MASTER RACE MAGGOT.

>>52873408
It's got to be 1dragon4000chan, I swear that wiki is drawing in all the sub-millenials.

>>52873221
You should return the courtesy, hell hath no fury like a dragon scorned.

>>52873402
Yes, you are ploymorphing wrong you don't want to look like someone you killed you want to be a unique human most likely a traveler and your native area is not a good choice. Personal suggestion disguise your self similar to a particularly big barbarian (the ones who have the giant weapons).
>>52873408
Some dragons share it with humans or leave directions on how to get to it on the wall of their lair.

>>52873553
>>52873525
Grumble Grumble, Back when I was alive we didn't share the secret dragon forums with humans. Thats why we called it the SECRET DRAGON forums

>>52873145
>And with all this experience, I can safely say: do not romance blacks. They are sadistic, horrible fucks who will be as abusive as they think they can get away with. They will say cruel things and drive you to tears, and then come back later to make you feel better. They'll build a guilt-tripping complex and work as hard as they can to make you dependant on them, so you accept how badly they treat you. They'll make you give them more and more of your horde and try and convince you that it's YOUR fault the relationship isn't working, not theirs.
>Blacks are great in bed as long as you don't let them get out the chains, gags, and torture devices. But for anything other than sex, they're absolutely awful. I've had healthy relationships with reds, whites, blues, and greens, but all my attempts to be kind and loving to blacks have been met by cruelty and abuse.
Fuck off. Blacks aren't abusive, they're loving. They just have a fetish for decay and are introverts at heart. Any black would love to have a kind, caring partner.

I'm sorry to intrude as a human but I need some advice. You see, I have a meeting with a silver dragon in about two weeks. It's hard to do research on ancient wars when there are so few beings around that old, anyway I digress.
Would it be more polite to greet him in the common tongue or in the Draconic language? While I initially thought it might seem better to speak Draconic as it would be his native tongue, some races get very uppity about that sort of thing (I'm still banned from certain Elven towns) so I thought it'd be best to ask another dragon first. Thank you for your time.

>>52873632
You know you're not fooling anyone, right?

>>52873679
You probably can't do much to offend him besides killing human hatchlings or attack him. He's a silver, he'll probably be trying to resist fucking you for the whole conversation.

>>52873679
Depends on how good you pronunciation and accent is. Your politeness will be useful as well

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>>52873740
>killing human hatchlings
You haven't even bothered to learn anything about human biology, have you?

>>52873679
>>52873740
>He's a silver, he'll probably be trying to resist fucking you for the whole conversation.

This. What is it with Silvers trying to romance, and I use that term loosely, literally everything?

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>>52871820
Well, my dragon master loves having us kobolds around. So you should give her some of your kobolds.

>>52874013
I haven't, no. Why would I care about humanity? Aboleth biology is way more interesting

>>52873679
Brass Dragon here, let me tell you a few things about Draconic. When non-dragon attempts to talk to a dragon in Draconic, you must always refer to him as your better since most humanoids tend to be rather impolite and not know this. There's also the fact that dragons don't generally entertain mere mortals, but, in the case of a silver dragon, they do like humanoids, as a matter of fact, they enjoy helping other people and are caring in nature.

Be kind and respectful to him and he will respond in kind

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>>52873740
You see when a female human and a male human feel like mating, im too old to explain human birds and the beeholders to some well meaning youngling.

Gold here. How does it feel, chromatics, to know that you'll never be the biggest and baddest of us all?

>>52874142
Feels good knowing that no matter how low I'll sink, I'll still never be a self-righteous asshole like you. Oh yeah, genocide is AOK as long as it's against the right people?

Fuck golds, you're the worst around. Hypocritical elitists with a genocidal streak.

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>>52874104
>Doesn't want to practice as many fields of study as possible

>>52874142
Brass here again, you should be careful not to pester a Red, they're as big as you can. you shouldn't fuck with chromatics anyways, what the hell is your problem.

I swear Golds have the worst egos ever

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>>52874142
Oh look, here comes the living embodiment of rampant egos.

>>52874142
Golds are far too zealous and stupid-good, like paladins. Also Golds aren't very intelligent.

>>52874142
Having long since shed my mortal skin in scales such lables as metalic and chromatic mean less snd less to me. But in a direct answer to your question. The fact I will assuredly out"live" you and all you progeny makes issues of size feel pointless

>>52873478
Wisdom.

>>52871820
Get the fuck out, this site is for metallics only

>>52874218
Well, there's people, and then there's people...

Nah, I'm kidding. Also, "genocide" is a funny way to say "helping the temple of Bahamut rehabilitate young chromatics."

>>52874252
Forgive me, but I had 14 Int immediately upon breaking out of the shell; what was yours?

>>52874142
Tbh, reds look way better than golds. The tentacle beard doesn't do your kind any favors.

>>52874326
there goes the neighborhood.
READ THE RULES NEWSPAWNLING

>>52874354
Bahamut this! I will never date female gold dragons because they have a damn mustache permanently stuck to their face. I just can't stand it, it's bizarre

As a colorless dracolich can I purpose that we stop arguing over which color is best for a moment so that we might remember that we all are dragons and as such are superior to the humans and wyverns

>>52873740
>>52873749
>>52874110
Thank you ever so much for your help!

>>52874081
Oh dear, it's bad enough having the dwarf make lewd comments, what do I do if he make a 'suggestion'?

>>52874422
what's your breath like? Force breath? that must be pretty cool.

>>52874354
>>52874419
Found the humans. Who else would refer to a dragon's facial tendrils by the name of the young races' pathetic fur?

>>52874328
16, I have been naturally inquisitive since birth, but that's besides the point. My point is that Gold dragons tend to not use their intelligence to their full potential.

>>52874328
>Also, "genocide" is a funny way to say "helping the temple of Bahamut rehabilitate young chromatics."
Alright, fine, most golds don't actually want to kill all chromatics, but I bet most of you want to kill all or most of our adults.

And Ourenilach is a good example of just how bad you golds can be. He led a crusade to kill off all chromatics.

>>52874427
Rejoice in your chance to be joined with a superior species and create something better? If you really insist on saying know I recommend telling a incredibly long and boring story untill the silver loses interest. Always worked for me when I was young and had a certain "bone"

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>>52874441
Force dragon here. They wish. We're the only ones lucky enough to have it.

Hey semi on topic question, did 3.5 have the like 5+ types of dragons pathfinder does?

>>52874427
Well, depending on how well you think you can "Handle" a dragon, I suggest either declining very politely and saying how you just cannot accept this honor to be asked to mate with him. Do you happen to be female, you have not disclosed that information so I assume you must be since you're bringing up the question about mating. Be aware that dragon seed is incredibly potent and if he is to... finish inside you, you will definitely be bearing his spawn without question.

>>52874504
then what do colorless dragons have? certainly not sonic breath since you'd need to be a sonic dragon for that

>>52874427
Hells if I know. I'm a Black, so posting here is about as social as I get

>>52874527
Seconding dragon seed's potency. I've seen half-dragon assassin vines.

>>52874580
Is it true that you guys are all into sadism and torture during sex?

>>52874441
Its pure necromatic energy. Instantly kills the adventurer AND raises them as an undead servant. I recommend shedding your mortality if you can.

>>52874504
Actually, amethyst dragons also have force breath.

>>52874561
I only meant colorless as in since I have no scales I have no color. In regards to the color I had when mortal it's been so long I have genuinely forgotten, it just didnt serm important after a while

>>52874516
What do you mean?

>>52874605
Nah, I'm good as I am right now. besides, I've taken cleric domain of Law and Travel. I live near a port city and I've studied the laws of the kingdom, I'm a certified attorney, I prefer to take the case of less fortunate humanoids for an exchange of services.

It's always funny to see the face of the judge and jury when I come around the court of justice. I love making a show of my appearance

Hello,
I'm a human male of certain... tastes in partners, if you know what I mean. Looking for adventurous, yet gentle dragoness or dragon (I don't judge) of any age to spend a relaxing night with. I will care about you pleasure like no one cared before. Polymorph not necessary.
Sincerely,
Sir Kalemdor

>>52874598
Can't really speak for others, but who doesn't enjoy a little power-play while furthering the species? To answer the second part, being almost comically acidic kinda limits non-lethality.

>>52874776
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS HUMAN, HE IS KNOWN ACROSS MANY KINGDOMS AS A SEXUAL DEVIANT.

>>52874605

Fuck, I just completed a ritual to secure immortality. I feel like a missed out on some swag.

>>52874780
>To answer the second part, being almost comically acidic kinda limits non-lethality.
So that's a yes?

Black here. The fuck are you saying about my kind here, you knightfuckers? We can be as loving and caring as the next dragon, you just have to be a WYRM enough to handle us. Scaled bitches deserve what they get.

>>52874741
Well it's not the kind of "life" for everone but im happy. Your life seems fascinating, tell me does your kingdom allow necromatic testimony? If so id love to serve as expert testimony.If a living dragon makes a splash imagine a living one and an undead.

>>52874839
Only if you aren't immune to acid

>>52874837
Let the magic settle, it takes time. When you are as old me you too will have unlimted necromatic power

>>52874819
I know it's you Vez'saxo'torynx. You know full well why we are not on speaking terms anymore. A safe word is a safe word.

I'm a human trapped in a dragon's body.

How do I get her to let me out?

>>52874966
Why would you want out? Dragon insides are warm and comfy.

>>52874852
unfortunately for you, the undead have no right in this kingdom, since necromancy is mostly evil. not saying some necromancers can't be okay fellas to have around, it's just the magic itself is evil and paladins will make it their mandate to DEUS VULT your hide back to your crypt.

I mean, I wish I could use Speak with Dead in court, but that spell is effectively banned in court

>>52874913

Nah, got this from Mama T, my immortality ain't goin nowhere.

Oh well, I guess I can trash a temple of Bahumut. That always picks me up.

>>52874966
Have you tried flailing wildly?

>>52871820
>race mixing
Kill yourself. Keep chromatic blood lines pure.

>>52874966

You eaten by a chromatic or metallic dragon?

>>52874935
no, that's not me, I simply know you because I deal with the law and you're a known sexual deviant across 3 kingdoms. MATING WITH A TODDLER AND CLAIMING YOU DID NOT KNOW SHE WAS 5 IS TERRIBLE

>>52875035

I don't know what's more gross. The guy you are talking to or you dealing with the law.

Dragons need to follow no laws but their own brah

>>52875079
>not playing nice with humans so they'll willingly make offerings

>>52875035
You are just the dragon I need! This honorless sheepfucker (and I mean this literally) Kalemdor raped one of my kobolds on multiple occasions (or maybe it was multiple kobolds, who the hell knows). Can I sue his mortal ass before he dies of old age or something?

>>52875118
this. I get offered a handy amount of gold from the port city to keep the area free of invasions on top of being a lawyer. Being a dragon rules!

>>52874993
>Nah, got this from Mama T, my immortality ain't goin nowhere.
Hope you're ready to lose your immortality and get killed the moment she sees someone more attractive than you

>>52875035
I guess it was different when you had me exercise my escape artist check in your intimate places? I faked all my orgasms!
I sign contracts with all my partners anyway. they all know exactly what to expect.

>>52875157
>>52875118

>metallic dragons

Isn't it your bedtime?

Blue here, any tips on how to take care of kobolds? I recently enslaved a few and accidentally made them worship me in the process. Know they've been dying faster then they can repopulate. I haven't gotten them checked for diseases yet and I've been letting them hunt their own meals.

>>52875131
mmm... that depends on where you currently are. I can represent you in the Kingdom of Vas'la, but if the rape wasn't done in that kingdom there's not much I can do.

I do however have a quite a few other friends in various other kingdoms that can help you with your trouble, just drop my common name "Asseriah" and you should be fine

>>52875169

>implying I won't kill them first

I didn't get her favor by being a nancy.

>>52875191
Isn't it yours?

>>52875223
Will do, thanks! If he ever comes to your kingdom, know that I offer a substantial reward for his capture.

>>52875169
Im old enough to say this, I have seen a certain lady blow through lovers like a dwarf through ale in my time.NEVER accept a gift from her. She is a flighty whore who will shortly kill you in order to replace you for a new boytoy.if you already have prepare about a thousand back up phlyactrys and become a lich straight away. Ive seen her consort be a non dragon a few times. Even the other one is better he may be a usless human lover but at least he wont suddenly get bored of you and arrange your death

>>52874527
I'm male, so I shouldn't have to worry then?

>>52875244

Ooooo watch your alignment there buddy. Be too naughty and Bahumut won't watch your back. Or worse! You might have to deal with adventurers like real dragons do.

>>52875299
If it moves a silver will make a pass at it, period. Just have a really long story like I told you

>>52875304
Local adventurers come all the time to get my blessing, or something. Or maybe they're just looking for an excuse to stab me, which would make for a nice lunch.

>>52875227
She'll then want you dead for killing them. Youre doomed there is a reason she gets a new consort every decade or so shes a flighty bitch

Is Falazure a mod here?

>>52875382
Was banned for spam like 100 years ago.

>>52875382
>>52875407 is correct but a little out of date. He got unbanned by Io a couple years ago. He's one of the janitors now.

>>52875361

>to get my blessing

And I bet you give it to them you sick fuck.

Goddamn I hate you metallics so much.

>>52875373

>implying I'll be the one to kill them

Bro, I didn't get to where I am by being stupid.

>>52874988
Maybe for a little while but not after three days.

>>52875006
That just makes it tighter.

>>52875027
Red

>>52875219
Okay, you're a blue dragon, that means you're probably in a desert somewhere, make sure they don't eat poisonous critters, deserts are known for having poisonous monsters and animals. If anything, you should raid neighboring sheep hearder or demand a tithe from them

Offical mods/gods power rankings:
Tiamut:crossbreeding slut
Bahamut: BASED
everyone else: irrelevant
Metallic power rankings:
Gold: males: self righteous pricks
Females: self righteous cunts
Silver: males: can't stop puting dick in everything that moves
Females: slut
Bronze males: BASED
females: BASED
Everyone else: irrelevant
chromatics power rankings:
Red: males: anger issues
Females: perfect
Blues: males: NEET
Females: NEET
Greens:males: shitposters
Females: shut posters
Black: males: bros
Females: GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON'T STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT
white: irrelevant
Sub species power ranking:
Wyrm: get out
Wyvern: REEEEEEEEE
Dragborn: fuck off your not getting my horde

>>52875131
Lies and slander! I, sir Kalemdor pride myself in receiving consent from all my partners! But what should I expect of a dragon unwilling to honor a gentleman's agreement. Your mistress Blackwing will hear of this. See how she reacts when you try "hide your hoard" again, Vez'saxo'torynx.

>>52875258
If you want, I can place a legal bounty on him for you if you need. if he ever travels here, he'll be cruisin' for paladin bruisin'

>>52875486
See, your problem is that you know you're clever. Which means she probably knows you're clever.

It was over before it even began for you.

>>52875501

>Red

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

OH YOU POOR FUCKER

Being a Red Dragon myself I assure you it is impossible to escape our mighty stomachs.

Also being a Red Dragon I want to fuck over the other guy cuz his dumbass doesn't chew his food.

Just start stabbing and he'll throw you up.

>>52875486
very well, I will not bother you anymore, I just ask you listen to my "friend" dragotha. He used to occupy your current position. he lives in the white plume mountains, he's a bit of a hermit so just tell him HB sent you

>>52875552

Run along, troll. Fire breath stops your regeneration.

>>52875530
t. delusional bronze
>everyone else irrelevant
Say that to Garyx's face and not online

>>52875533
For the last time, I don't know who Vez'saxo'torynz is, im Asseriah

Anonymous ## Mod 2017-04-24 07:04:48 Post No.52875612
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