Long story short, my paladin has fallen in love with a golem/homunculi

>>52761449

Build one together? Adopt?

>>52761449
Does your character know and have a good standing with her creator? You could help the creator assemble a similar construct which would function as her child.

>>52761449
You both learn the ways of the artificer, and you MAKE a child. Or, mad science one if by "homunculi" you mean she's some kind of artificial living creature.

>>52761449
Adopt a friendly local orphan.

>>52761449
Just have the rogue reverse pickpocket a fetus in her or something man, you're overthinking this.

Make him go on a quest with her to figure it out.

couldn't you ask your god? see if he needs something in return?

>>52761449
What level are you? Know any Epic Level Wizards or Clerics? Pretty sure a Wish or Miracle would solve your problem.

>>52761449
Find some way of making her a human, or what ever your species is. I mean surely there is someway.

>>52761480
I offered and would like to, but she wants to be a 'real woman'

>>52761482
He died of old age centuries ago, we met her clearing up his tomb full of alchemical monstrosities where she was doing a maid thing for it.

>>52761449
Clearly, the only way to do this involves a fake magical ritual and an actual kidnapped newborn.
She'll never suspect a thing.

>>52761806
This anon. How smart is she?

>>52761651
If they are against adoption and want to be able to give birth to life, the simplest and cheapest solution I can think of is - if they count as having a soul (it's iffy with Homunculi) - death followed by re-animation via Reincarnate. It's… not the best sounding solution ("I found a way, honey! I just need to kill you first!"), but it avoids a lengthy quest or years of hard work or the like.

Less practically but a bit more plausibly, communicate and ask if she is more looking to create life (within the realm of possibility) or straight up conceive and birth it (Danger: DM is fetishist and your game is going places). If the former start a search for some Mimic's blood so that you can - together - create another Golem (or the components to craft another Homunculi) and as a not-complete-shitheel assure her that you don't mind the fact that it wasn't created by inserting a round peg into a wet hole and waiting several months for the result. That the child the both of you created together is no less a fruit of your shared labor / love than that of another couple, and so-on.

Sounds like an awesome quest.

>>52761449
Find a real man to give her one.

>>52761449
Quest for a wishing artifact or something.

>>52761449
She wants to be a real girl?

Make her into one. Then fuck her right in the (now 100% natty) pussy.

>>52761449
Get the wiz to cast clone of some hot young thing and cast magic jar enough times so she is in that cloned body. I bet the wizard would do it for a immortal body

>paladin
>Gais how do I make miracle happens

I dunno anon

Have you tried

Ok stick with me here

Have you tried

Just be open ok

Have you tried

FUCKING
PRAYING
TO
YOUR
GODDAMN
DIETY
YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT YOU HAVE GOD ON SPEED DIAL PRAY FOR GUIDANCE AH HH

>>52761449
Stone to Flesh? It could work out really well or really nightmarishly horribly.

1. Ask your god dude or god lady what's a good plan
2. Do that

BONUS ROUND: stick it in her artificial butt erryday, because why the hell not?

>>52761449
Have you tried giving her the d?

>>52761622
>Wizard Casts Wish
>I WISH MY FRIEND COULD IMPREGNATE HIS ROBOT WAIFU

>>52762162
That's Clerics not Paladins. Paladins have explicitly been changed to being self causing in their powers and needing no god

>>52763579
The added bonus to that is knowing you have a complete bro for life.

>>52761449
Kiritsugu go home, you're drunk. you're forgetting that it already happened

>>52761449
Literally female Pinocchio. Just find her fairy godmother after rescuing her creator from a whale.

>>52763579
WIZARDS
No sense of right or wrong
But at least they're bros

Find a dying girl, transfer soul into gem. Wizard moulds lil golem. Put gem into golem, voila a daughter.
Every five years transfer into larger more adult golem. Look how your daughter grows.

>>52766180
Now you have
A immortal daughter

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>when you can't tell if this is fetish shit, some mythology-tier storytelling, or a disney movie plot

>>52766213
I'm going to assume mythology-tier, because I believe in /tg/.

OP, it's time to go on a mother fucking quest


...pun intended.

>>52761449
Plenty of options.

Can Polymorph or Shape change the golem into a fleshy organic of their choosing.

Use magic to create a kid.

Stone to Flesh explicitly transforms constructs into flesh golems, from there it should be a cakewalk.

Adoption

>>52763788
>making a fae a god mother of anyone in your family

How stupid can you be?

>>52761449
Pop down the local animal shelter and adopt yourself a child murdering pit bull.

>>52761553
This. You should have produced a shitload anyway. As any adventurer does.

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> find a qt robot girl
> she's got kinda crazy brother, they both are merciless killers
> slowly change her by showing her compassion and courage
> just when you are almost there, she get's eaten by another member of her family
> monster is way out of your league
> wat do
> wait for strong immigrant friend and his buddies to take care of it
> best friend's son saves her and kills the monster
> Find magical genie dragon and ask for her to become human

>>52767680
>implying
She was a cyborg with fully functioning plumbing and still is. Lapis and Lazuli were originally humans Geno kidnapped

>>52761449
Cast Miracle.

>>52761449
Well, you could try to get a wizard to help you out with magic bullshit.

If not...I don't know, just pray or something. Maybe your god's a good wingman.

>>52761449
Get a cleric cast Miracle on her and also ask for a marriage blessing while you are there

Good luck bro

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>Golem becomes a real girl
>Immediately proceeds to cheat on Paladin

>>52768286
Not even once

>>52761571
I feel like you're underthinking this.

>>52761449
Does your paladin love his hobot enough to tell her, "We can look for a way, but I'm not sure it'll ever be possible?"

Is he brave enough to ask another person to evaluate their dreams?

maybe the wizard's willing to blow a wish on the two of you

>>52761480
>>52761553
>Adoption
This is the way to go, OP. It worked for Hari Seldon and his robo-waifu, Dors Venabili.

>>52767680
And Krillin didn't just "wait around for strong immigrant friends." That ballsy motherfucker tried taking Cell head on, and kept getting back up for more.

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>>52761806
Fae lord detected.

>>52766213
Here's the secret of the universe, anon -

They're all the same thing.

>>52768501
Clearly, you need to meet more skilled rogues.

>>52761806
Get out of my thread, fae fucking shits

>>52767039
We have several thousand years of stories with the moral "don't make deals with non human entities" and we're still trying to me deals with non human entities (which may not even exist). As a race, humans are pretty goddamn stupid

>>52761449
You've got to have a friend in the clergy, son. If your DM is any sort of friend, he should give you an opportunity to make this happen.
Stone to Flesh is an option.

>>52772147
> don't make deals with non human entities
And yet Jews remain the bankers since the time immemorial.

>>52761449
Get a wizard to cast ____ to flesh.

>>52761449
Kerry?

>>52761449
Pray harder and bang longer

>>52761449

Use a combination of magic and surgery to implant a human womb into her, fertalize and implant an egg with the Paladin's sperm, make a Ring of Sustinance to put on the womb so that the child gets proper nourishment while developing, and then wait nine months.

>>52761449
Wish spell.
Adopt orphan.
True polymorph.
HOW DO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A GOLEM GODDAMIT

>>52761449
Make another homunculous, let your waifu's abusive family take it away, neglect to make any more than a cursory attempt to get your daughter back, then let the adopted son who you've done such a terrible job at raising that he sprouts swords out his dick whenever he sees injustice handle it.

Also give him a gimped hand-me-down used goods waifu.

Perfect plan.

Have her start cutting out the won a of women to try and make her own. She succeeds and gets pregnant, bur your paladin needs to kill her or he falls for letting his feels get in the way of justice. Once he kills her, he falls because her death killed the innocent homunculfetus.

>>52761449
You could use a wish and make her a human, or just wish for her to have a working womb.

>>52773089
I feel like this is a reference to something...

>>52773296
It's an inaccurate summary of the events between the end of Fate/zero and F/SN

>>52761449
Pray and offer the body and soul of the firstborn to God. Gonna be more or less emotional depending on whether its an angry fiery child eating God or a "Yeah sure I could use an extra steward in my temple" kind of deity.

>>52761849
>Paladin
>Encouraging him to subvert hard work and go for the easier route

This is how paladins fall

Adopt the next kobold orphans you come across

>>52761449
Find and hire your settings version of Dr Frankenstein. Have him upgrade her sex organs.

>>52771571
If Krillin got Zenkai Boosts, he'd be OP as fuck.