This woman threatens you to surrender or she'll shoot this

>>52721794
If I wait two seconds, will the fish change its alignment?

Does the woman have point blank shot?

>>52721822
judging from the picture yes

I cast Summon Bigger Fish to eat the fish.

Technically I didn't kill it.

Sometimes I wonder where these stock photos come from.

>>52721794
It's a fucking fish, it's not gonna make me fall.

What, am I gonna fall if I eat a steak now, too?

>>52721794
I perform some sort of waaaaaacky hijinks, since this is obviously a comedic game if there are paladins, alignments, and women in suits with guns threatening goldfish.

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>>52721794
Being a paladin, I have relatively high WIS. Using that I deduce that this woman, who is not only wearing a dress suit but is so unhinged that she's threatening to shoot a fish, must be a lonely office lady christmas cake. Having spent the past two years of my life browsing /a/ and studying the weaknesses of these elusive creatures, lay a trap and save the innocent fish while she's distracted.

>>52721843
>Sometimes I wonder where these stock photos come from.

There are companies that pay models and photographers to appear in a variety of scenes. This lady probably also appears (in that same outfit) in a photo where she's arguing over a bill, where she's giving a presentation to a table of other people in suits, and some where she's holding various other objects.

A lot of photographers also sell their own stuff to graphics houses. Stock photos of landscapes, buildings, etc.

Then the companies that aggregate these images sell them as large packages to creative-content providers. CC providers offer thousands (or millions) of images to their subscribers or clients. That "123RF" watermark means that someone downloaded that low-resolution sample image from the 123RF CC provider.

Usually, media outlets like newspapers, magazines, or websites are the subscribers or clients of CC providers.

Does that answer your question?

>>52721794
She has attempted to a.) threatan the life of an innocent, regardless of what happens to said innocent this requires as smiting and b.) attempted to force a paradox on the paladin and a crisis of concience. Smite.

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>>52721923
A few years down the line during a particularly stressful Thanksgiving you find yourself in this predicament.

It's probably a polymorphed gnome.
They have a bonus to constitution, so the gnome will survive several shots, enough time for me to close in and smite the woman.

This would be an ecumenical matter.

Warn the women one last time before resorting to violence

>>52721888
No, cow is neutral.

You don't fall, you kinda sit, or plop down

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>>52722000
Jokes on her, I'm a pervert

>>52721794
The answer is incredibly obvious.

The fish, as a lawful good entity, is going to heaven or any heaven equivalents upon death. Therefore. it is my absolute duty to not surrender and defeat the women immediately as the fish will not come under any true harm.

>>52721794

Tell her if she strikes the fish down it will become more powerful than she can possibly imagine.

>>52721794
I surrender.
What now?

>>52721794
It's a fucking fish, I ain't gonna fall from no fucking fish being killed.

>>52721794
>I lay down my sword, use my body however you please you foul succubus.
Maybe the paladin life isn't for me.

>>52722222
Well, can't argue with that.

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>>52721794
YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO PUT DOWN THE DEPUTY CHIEF JUDGE AND COME QUIETLY, CREEP!

>>52721794
This problem, like all problems, can be solved with fire.
Apply fire to the woman, and she is no longer threatening the fish. Nor is the fish being threatened with being shot!
All problems solved, with the wonders of fire.

>>52721931
why do you know so much about this?

>>52722450
I am the woman in OP's pic.

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>>52722475

>>52721794
I can make a DC 100 diplomacy roll, I think I'm okay.

>>52721794
The potential of the fish to affect the world is negligible compared to the woman. Kill on sight.

I stall for 8 seconds while the fish shifts alignments because lolmemory.

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>>52721843
>Sometimes I wonder where these stock photos come from.

It is a deep dark place. That is all you may know.

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>>52721843
>>52722753

It's like my own twisted Silent Hill.

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>>52722926
Holy shit it's Girl Hitler!

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>>52721794
I tell the GM (OP) to stop being such a massive BALL FONDLIN'
CAVITY INTRUDIN'
ANAL MININ'
DICK SUCKIN'
CUM GUZZLIN'
NIPPLE PINCHIN'
WOOD POLISHIN'
GOAT FUCKIN'
BUTT BUMBLIN'
WEED WHACKIN'
MILK DRINKIN'
CROTCH RAVAGIN'
SHIT CHURNIN'
GARBAGE EATIN'
BAIT AND SWITCHIN'
FAGGOT LOOKIN'
NIGGERIN'
LIFE WASTIN'
PUSSYFOOTIN'
CHUBBY CHASSIN' ASSLORD

>>52721794
I slay the woman and then cast revive on the fish.

>>52721794
My paladin is intimidate as a class skill. I roll intimidate to convince the woman that if she does shoot the fish I will rock her with a holy vengeance. Deus motherfucking vult. Lawful good doesn't mean lawful nice and it is well within my alignment to warn evildoers that I will ruin their shit if they don't knock off all the evil stuff.

>>52722450
>why do you know so much about this?
I work in print media and make use of the end services every day. Also I know some people who sell their pictures to the aggregators.

>>52721794
Don't surrender, stab the shit out of the woman in a swift attempt to save the fish. If I fail, oh well, the woman's the murderer. I did my best.

>>52721838
Sorry but is not enough. She is GRAPPLING with the fish - and you cannot shoot during grapple.

There, problem solved.

>>52722432
Evoke pls go

>>52724407
Who?
I'm just pointing out a simple fact - that all problems can be solved with fire. That other problems arise afterwards is not a matter of concern, the original problem was solved. Further problems can also be solved with fire.

>>52721888
If you're a Hindu Paladin, sure.

Also, Hindu Paladins have a lot more to live up to than paladins of fictional religions. You think St Cuthbert kicked as much ass as Durga?

>>52721794
She did not specifically state the she was preparing an attack action against the fish, so my paladin should be free to attack her without immediate repercussions and judging by her use of a gun, a simple smite should be able to take her out before any harm may come to this humble servant of justice.

Tl;dr: One-way ticket on the downtown smite express.

>>52721794
>Threatening to harm an innocent fish.
I throw my sword at her face.

>>52721794
>Oathbreaker.
Heh, nothing personal, piscine.

>>52721794

Animals are always True Neutral.

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>>52722926

Have some more for the collection.

>>52722222
nice quints btw

>>52722000
Nice dubs-trips. Who the fuck makes these stock photos?

>>52721794
The fish is also a paladin.

He would understand.

>>52721794
I "detect evil" in the fish and tell her to go shead but the moment she pulls the trigger she'll be killed. Hopefully this will make her try to fire on me first to get the drop then being the fastest drawin paladin in the west I fill her full o' holes.

>>52721794
>Bad guy threatens to do bad things unless heroes stop trying to stop them.
Yeah this is bullshit, I shoot her.

>>52724460
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

>>52721931
I'm not sure it answers the anons question. These photos are clearly posed. Which means someone had the idea to create that image.

Why did they have that idea ?

Then they went through the time and money to professionally create the image.

Is making odd images without context, hoping that someone will create the context and then decide to pay for the image, a profitable business model ?

>>52732652
They probably pay the model for a certain amount of shots or period of time and if they have extra do silly shit for fun

>>52721794
If she shoots, she will be shooting her own hand off. Either she's bluffing, or she's insane.

If the first, she isn't going to follow through with her threat and shoot the goldfish.

If the second, I don't trust her to let the goldfish live even if I do surrender.

My bet is on insanity.

>>52724460
>>52732608
As would I.

The fish, being LG, must surely be willing to lay down its life in service of a noble cause. I give it an understanding nod, and with a single tear rolling down my cheek, I charge the woman. This shall be the last fish she shoots. The goldfish's sacrifice shall be kept in living memory for at least three seconds.

Sneak Attack the Paladin and kill the woman. Eat fish.

>>52721952
Please kill yourself, you are a blight upon gaming.

>>52733293
>smiting evil-doers is a blight upon evil
CN rogue detected.

>>52733346
Playing shitty games with archaic and awful mechanics like alignment is inexcusable. And you are the worst, lowest variety of that sickly specimen. Please self-terminate at once.

>>52721794
The same way Police resolve a situation like that, keep their weapons drawn and ready to respond to the assailant's actions.

If she shoots the fish, she has deprived herself of her hostage and has committed a criminal action in my clear view.

To quote one police drama I saw once, "You do not have a hostage. If you shoot them we will open fire. If you fire on us, we will open fire. If you attempt to flee, we will open fire."

>>52722926
What the FUCK. What purpose do these pictures serve besides being included into collages of weird stock photos?

>>52733508
theres the real campaign hook, these pictures are clues to the nefarious plot of a secret illuminati group is your party a bad enough dude to decipher these clues and save the day

>>52732608
>>52732703
You don't need a newsletter, you just need knowledge!
ANY problem can be solved with application of enough fire, as long as you're willing to allow it to. If fire isn't currently solving your problem, you aren't using enough fire.
Even if the problem is, somehow, too much fire - just as the people who set fires to contain brushfires.
Anything, and everything, can be solved with fire. Your math homework is a pain? Solve it with fire, now there's no more homework! Neighbor's dog keeping you up at night? Solve it with fire. Too cold? Tricky, but that too can be solved with fire!

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>>52721888
Only if it still has pink in it after you cook it

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>>52722057
As far as I'm aware most fish aren't LG and also wouldn't make great hostages, so it's probably a polymorphed hostage and polymorph doesn't change their hitpoints, so they can probably tank at least one bullet. Probably...

>>52721794
As a lawful evil I kill both her and then maybe him for taking up too much time with unnecessary actions.

>>52733896
Why would you want to kill her? Join her, and you can rule the fish bowl as mother and son.

>>52721794
Jokes on her, I'm chaotic evil antipaladin and I have been pretending to be good all this time so I get free drinks

>>52731916
Stock photographers. Probably taken while shooting more normal stock shots. As long as you already have the models in the kitchen, it might take a minute to get this shot.

Maybe nobody licenses it, in which case you're out a couple of minutes of your time. Or maybe a bunch of people license the photo and you make a bunch of money from it.

>>52723325
He ghost now.
Kind of a bullshit cop out. He should have just died, and told his HUNDREDS OF GIANT MUSCLE DAUGHTERS to "FIND THAT SAMURAIH"

"I always wanted to avenge a fish"

If she's smart she spends the first shot on me because paladin hit dice & healing. It won't help her but it's the smart move.

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>>52721807
If you wait too long, and it isnt in water, itll change its alignment to dead. Soooo the real question is, what would you do if an adorable lawfull stupid basset hound was being threatened with treats by an evil temptress.

>wat do?¿

>>52721794
unless the fish talks, it doesn't fucking matter.
I'm a paladin not a fucking vegan.

>>52733621
You know, maybe there is truth to that old saying, "fight fire with fire"

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>>52732652
>I'm not sure it answers the anons question. These photos are clearly posed. Which means someone had the idea to create that image.
>Why did they have that idea ?
>Then they went through the time and money to professionally create the image.

She's not actually holding the fish. She's just posing her hand as if she's holding something, and then the fish (or a dollar bill, or a photo, or whatever) can be photoshopped in afterward. Because of the huge amount of photos that these sites deal with, it's cheaper just to have the models do a bunch of random shit that can then be tailored to the specific needs of the client later on, rather than commission a picture specifically for each requirement.

I went on the site to find more of her but got distracted because it has a lot of pictures of pretty girls with poor trigger discipline.

>>52722287
you lost

>>52737637
>ShadowrunFace.gif

>>52721794
I justify with "the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few." And have the rouge slit her throat while I distract her with the nature of good and evil.

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>>52737915
Yeah, she's a master of disguise

>>52722081
Yes.

>>52721794
As Paladin, I roll a higher initiative and gently take the fish and put it in my waterskin.

>>52721794
>Hard Mode: You Are The Paladin

No, this is easy mode. Say it with me kids.

S M I T E
M
I
T
E V I L
V
I
L

>>52721794

>you won't shoot, because if you do Nothing in this world will stop me from eating you your own entrails

>the only way you get out of this alive is to give up Now!

>>52738309
This. The paladin is not responsible for what SHE does. Only for punishing her. It is weaker souls that worry about bargaining

Paladins have NO FEAR, so I do not fear for the safety of the Fish, so I run her through.
P A L A D I N

>>52738384

God Damn it

Feeding you not eating you

I really need to double check after I change what am going to post

>>52721794

Warning, incoming autism

>My Paladin of Ilmater removes his helmet, looking sorrowful.

>"I am a servant of Ilmater, the god of mercy and healing. A God who abhors violence, suffering, and bloodshed. A God who only desires peace and prosperity for all men equally."

>"I am a Paladin. A warrior of my God. A sword and a shield for the defenseless. When necessary, a dispenser of the ultimate sanction, that of summary death."

"I am a killer for a God that abhors killing. Do you understand what that means? My entire existence is an admission to the reality that true victory is not always possible. That matters cannot always be resolved peacefully, equitably, and fairly. That Ilmater cannot save everyone."

>"I will be more succinct. I have come here to see justice done. Whether it be done peaceably or it ends with your death is up to you. However if you harm that innocent .... ... fish, I cannot show you any mercy. I will be forced to kill you, without pity or remorse, because you have shown yourself willing to inflict harm on others for purely selfish reasons."

>"I'm begging you, now! Put down your weapon, or I will DESTROY you. I will butcher anyone who stands alongside you! I will cleave your limbs and crush your bones, snuff out your life as swift and terrible as possible! I did not come to bring violence, but if you force my hand, so help me I will kill you all."

>He puts his helmet back on and draws his greatsword.

SMITE
EVIL