Is there a more perfect magic item in existence? Fun magic

>it's

>>52700238
>Hurr durr I drunk so much i'm such a party animal that something that produces alcohol is the most perfect item ever.

Nice, bruv.

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>>52700238
>bottle of endless alcohol

>>52700690
Alcohol isn't just for drinking.

>>52700690
Alcohol is great for sterilizing equipment and starting fires too anon. Learn some basic chemistry!

>>52700238
>specific non-magical alcohol
>1 gallon per turn (almost 4 litres)
Could do something high enough volume to burn, right?

>>52700753
I'll give you sterilizing, but if you want to burn things, there are a dozens of other substances that are better. Gasoline releases way more heat and it's more visually pretty when it burns, but like alcohol it burns too fast. Oils, on the other hand, burn slower and thus really get to melt/burn to a crisp/destroy shit rather than just roast/warm them. And napalm. Or magic stuff like 'alchemist fire'.

Sterilizing things in a game with healing spells and health potions sounds a bit...Unnecessary? If you don't have easy access to magic sure, it's a good idea, but then again, you did spend 500 gold in a bottle of alcohol that's magical so maybe you could afford potions? My point being...Alcohol is not the most awesome thing to have in great amounts. A horn of infinite gunpowder? that's some shit I'd find fun and useful. Or maybe a refilling potion flask.

>>52700238
You got me

>>52700690
200 gallons would be enough for a fairly reasonably sized army's liquor ration.

Your army does have a liquor ration, right Anon? You're not all a bunch of squares, are you?

>>52700238
This thing is a weapon that has broken like 5 of my games. Fuck this thing.

>>52701403
The thing's going to break long before you reach 200 gallons.

>>52700238

>the Dwarf were found dead the morning after

>>52701497
No, it has a chance to break only after the 200 gallon daily limit has been exceeded.

>>52700238
Can we make something like this for coffee?

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>>52700238
> Is there a more perfect magic item in existence?
Bottle of Endless Semen.

>>52700753
>>52700741
in terms of a tactical map, while it is likely slow to generate, by volume that liquid is about 300 squares of space. mix that with control water, and you have a flying water boat made of alchohol to unsafely drink and fly your way across the land on the way to the next pub, to add its mass to your own. So continues and eventually awakens to consciousness the booze cloud.
either an actual ooze, or an undead made of souls of drowned victims and the cast of cheers, depending on how dark your DM is.

>>52702591
Ba boop di da boop bop

How many days would it take to fill up the various bags of holding?

>>52702591
that's not a nice way to call your mother

>>52703549
The whole point of Bottle of Endless Semen is that it produces an endless amount of semen, not receives it.
You have a point, though, since my mom is a clinical hermaphrodite.

>>52702591
That's not very useful at all.

>>52703619
Maybe as a lubricant.

>>52700238
Pretty cheap for what it does

Hey, question

What happens if I put a rag in the top and light it?

>>52703619
You could do this with it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlBBokLqbKg

>>52700238
>Make Bottle of Endless Ethanol
>Set fire to everything.

>>52703772
You have a golden goose scenario.

>>52703887
A golden goose that can torch city blocks?

>>52700238
>1 gallon of alcohol per round
holy shit this is HUGE. any distilleries would kill those capable of making these bottles, hiring saboteurs to destroy the facilities where these are made.

hell that's a half decent plot for quest in a prohibiton era game

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>>52700238
Yes

Immovable rod

>>52700844

Dude. The point of alcohol and gasoline isn't burning itself, but to catch other things on fire. All those castles and shit you see? Full of tapestries and wooden support beams. Granted, oil does it 'better', but who the hell makes gasoline in a fantasy campaign?

>>52705167
COWS CAN TROLL?

>>52705167
what

no seriously what the fuck

>>52707850
It's not what you think. It's a gem with some various chaos related powers, like protection from law and so on. I just saw the name and thought it was funny.

>>52701425
This was published in a Pathfinder 3rd party april fools pdf this year.

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>>52700238
The end to Kaer Mohren infamous endless shortage of wine cellar stock.

>>52700755
Of course anon. If it doesn't
Burn going down its not worth drinking.

>>52700238
Sounds like a magic item I've had in my game for years now
The Ever Foaming Mug
It has all the same stats as a Decanter of Endless Water but with alcohol

>>52708309
>The elf and the dwarf each have a limitless supply of rum
>The elf has Cruzan Vanilla
>The dwarf has nameless 120 proof white rum

>If filled with whiskey you have effectively infinite lighting fluid
>If filled with a sweet drink like honeyed mead you'll make lots of friends.

>>52706485
>oil
>gasoline
You realize there are other types of oil out there, don't you?

>>52700690

It's an unlimited fuel source you idiot. Think of the possibilities!

>>52700238
There's an NPC the DM keeps throwing into our campaign who's a drunkard wizard, and once made an alcohol dousing rod.

>>52703596
I hope you're just making a hentai reference

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>>52700238
You guys are all missing an important detail. This thing doesn't produce whatever you're craving, it produces a specific type of alcohol. Check the cost, "50 times the price of the alcohol that it produces".

Better hope that wizards like drinking what you like to drink.

>>52706485
If your castle is vulnerable to fire in D&D land you have bigger problems than a dude with a flask of alcohol.

Would a minor bag of holding be great for item destruction?

>>52708197
You can ask Gaunter for a bottle of endless vodka if you side with him.

>>52700238
>5% chance of bottle breaking which raises cumulatively everytime you use it.

God I hate 3.5 and pathfinder.

>>52718022
It's an april fools item and even if it wasn't that seems perfectly in line with a lot of early D&D shit.

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>>52705167
No, please don't remind me that the Sonic fandom still exists.