>lost in a wasteland from a portal >no food anywhere >every

>>52636962
If you're starving you'll resort to cannibalism eventually, its just a matter of how long you can resist those meaty juicy humans

>>52637061
Also if I were a paladin, would I fall?

>>52637124
Become an Oathbreaker.

>>52636962
why is the DM telling you how to play your character?

>>52637757
My character is LG.

>>52638465
Yeah, so?

Yeah, it shouldn't matter. If you're really in such a state that you can't avoid breaking your oath, call on your god to sustain you somehow or something. If they refuse, fuck the oaths, eat the bandit.

Find food or starve. You could kill a criminal and eat him, it's less evil than killing someone good

>>52636962
If brigands roam the place without food and in groups, they cant be more than half a day away from a source of food.

>>52637757
>"I rape the tavern wench! XD"
>"But you're a LG Paladin, anon."
>"lol stop tellin me how to play muh character, That DM! XD"

Sometimes terrible plebs needs an enlightened patrician's guiding hand.

>>52640966
What if the tavern wench is possessed by a demon and only through sex the demon is expelled?

>>52642322

You walk away from the gaming table.

>>52636962
You just need to RP one of those "desert island" scenes, where you're hanging out with the bandits, and you look over at the one guy and just see a talking icecream cone, and then you look to the other side and see a talking cheeseburger, etc.

At that point you can plead insanity to any perceived alignment violation.... AFTER you've filled up on delicious cheeseburger.

>>52636962
>your OP
>also a Paladin
I had a game that this happened in. The Paladin sat and meditated/prayed until he collapsed.
I was the DM and told him eventually your gonna eat a dead guy, it's cool just don't wake up day 2 and start eating the villagers
>it was a weird setting
The villagers in the misty valley demiplane the pc was in had food and all that stuff, but it turned to mist when someone who wasn't from there tried to eat it. Water turned to ash too, but he had an item that provided 2 gallons of fresh water a day.

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>playing a game where the DM forces you to abide by 9 arbitrary categories of morality that reduces the depth of your character down to 2 words

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>New college friend says he's starting up a 5e campaign
>Is first time DM but not first time player (not super experienced either)
>I join cause why the fuck not
>We are all sitting down making our characters
>I roll in order 15, 15, 13, 13, 13, 17
>Continue with my character
>DM happens to come over
>Sees my rolls which aren't absurd just quite nice
>'change a 15 to a 9 and the 13s to a 11s'
>I look at him with the biggest wtf look on my face
>Dude next to me who DMs all the time and is long time player has same look (not in campaign just chilling with us)
>Ask him why
>Tells me my rolls too stronk (all other players have at least a 17)
>After me and other player argue with DM for a while he tells me to just reroll
>I do as I dont wanna fight him over it being new friends (got almost the same shit)
>First session first encounter (lvl1): we open a door to a room with a ringing bell, on guard, and no visible enemies
>Before I can say anything (wanted to make a perception check) he says goblins jump down from rafters roll for initiatives
>I tell him I wanted to roll and he never gave us the chance
>Say 'oh woops, it will just be suprise combat anyways'
>I say 'well if its to late to roll we could use passive' try to reach middle ground and help out new DM
>Says 'nah it's still surpise combat'
>Ask why, he cant give a me a reason (I know its not behind the scenes stuff)
>Session continues and more shit like this happens
>Player crits and kills a gobo and starts to dictate how he killed the gobo as the player likes doing that when he crits
>DM cuts in and says hes the only one who can say describe how things are killed or attacked or anything similar
>More wtf looks on peoples faces
>Shit like this happened while making characters (not allowing some stuff for reasons he could not explain)

Gonna tell him I'm quitting for some bullshit reason

Also he was running the Storm Giant premade campaign thingy book (forget actual name)

>>52642890
>Gonna tell him I'm quitting for some bullshit reason

Wrong. Tell him the real reason.

>>52638465
Then your character becomes neutral. You have degenerated to your most basic, purely self-serving survival instincts.